Latest / Chatting with Cara - The Relationship with Food Podcast / Break the diet cycle - You already have everything you need to stop self-sabotaging with Food

Transcript

Break the diet cycle - You already have everything you need to stop self-sabotaging with Food · Chatting with Cara - The Relationship with Food Podcast

• 0:00
  Hello, welcome to Chatting with Cara.
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  I'm Cara, your compassionate life coach, relationship with
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  food specialist, and I'm here to help you understand yourself a
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  little bit better each week. However you found your way here
• 0:13
  today, I'm glad you're listening.
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  Maybe your friend sent you this episode, maybe you've been with
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  me from the start, or maybe you're just curious about doing
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  things differently when it comes to food, your body, and how you
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  feel about yourself. Whatever bought you here, you're
• 0:27
  in the right place. Here's what I do on the show.
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  I've honest, kind conversations about the stuff that's actually
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  holding you back. Not the surface level stuff, the
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  deep stuff, the root causes. Because when you truly
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  understand why you think and feel the way you do, then
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  everything starts to change. It doesn't feel hard anymore, it
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  just feels natural. So get comfortable, make
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  yourself a group, and let's have a proper chat about the things
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  that matter. This is chatting with karma.
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  Stop searching for the next diet.
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  Oh yes, this one's a good one. I'm probably going to say
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  something that you never even thought of.
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  I just really want to bring awareness to it because it's
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  something that I see quite a lot and I have fallen into the trap
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  of myself. This is looking externally for
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  fixes, for information, for what's it called Like the next
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  thing was actually, you don't need more information.
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  You don't need the next thing. You just need to look inside
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  yourself. Yes, because you have free will
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  now. I saw this trending on social
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  media a few weeks back. I was like, I need to talk about
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  this because I think it's something that we all forget we
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  have. I did a maternity course on how
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  to give birth by Steph, the birth nerd.
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  She was fantastic. And one of the things she talks
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  about early doors is language around like maternity and giving
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  birth. And that's what I do around.
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  Bless you with food. I talk about language quite
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  earlier. And she's like, nobody's making
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  you stay in hospital. No one's making you do this.
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  No one can do that. But the language they use is
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  quite persuasive. So it makes you feel like you
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  don't have free choice. And she's like, you do, you do
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  have free choice. And it's like, Oh, yes, the
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  police can stop you from leaving a place if you're arrested, but
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  people can't stop people from living in a place if it's like
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  the hospital. And it's like, oh, no, you have
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  free will. And I'm like, yes, we do.
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  And you have free will to eat ice cream for breakfast because
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  you're an intelligent woman. No one's going to tell you off.
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  That is free will. And I think it's really
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  important to remember that you have that.
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  But it's not like I'm you're going to get like, oh, Carl says
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  I've got free will. Can you go on?
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  Like, no, it doesn't work that loud, does it?
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  Let me reframe this for you. So if you are someone who's
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  dieted on and off your whole life or just on your whole life,
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  been on a diet forever, it feels like you're always outsourcing
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  your decision making, your authority, your information
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  about what you eat to external sources, to other people, to
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  what they think, to their food rules.
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  So that could be like dieting apps, trucking apps, what are
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  you eating a day, videos on social media, supplement ads,
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  what you mate Jenny has for lunch or what they have in the
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  office or what happens on fat Fridays.
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  Always looking at outsourcing your decision making and it's
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  not an information probably you've actually probably got too
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  much information you've got lots of information around you you've
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  got oh, don't do this do that. You shouldn't be eating that.
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  You should be eating this that's bad for you that's good for you
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  Oh no, that's not good for you if you have that, you don't want
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  me. If you're a chronic constant
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  Dieter like you, you know what I'm talking about.
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  All these external things, but you don't need any more
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  information. More information is not the
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  answer. So when you say I know what to
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  do, I just don't do it. The answer is actually within
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  you. It's actually within you, and
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  it's not a willpower thing. It's not like, oh, I need more
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  willpower. That's diet culture telling you
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  that you need more willpower to stop eating this.
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  But free will in this context is having the ability to pause and
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  then choose rather than react automatically.
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  So instead of it being, oh, I'll start again on Monday, there's
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  actually like a moment where you hand yourself the power.
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  You have a pause. You're like, oh, actually, what
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  does a really smart woman like me, who's pretty great at life,
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  to be fair, I've got everything else nailed down.
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  What decision is she going to make?
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  Have agency over your right over choice.
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  Make a decision and then act on it.
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  I know it's not thinking I'll start on Monday and I'll follow
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  that diet, or I'll start on Monday and I won't have that.
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  I'll start on Monday and I won't buy that this week because
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  they're too tempting. Or I'll just have this take away
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  on Saturday and then I'll start on Monday and then I won't have
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  any takeaways till my holiday. It's like having the authority
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  to make a decision, to lead yourself, to permit yourself,
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  and that is when you need to exercise his free will.
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  You have to pause and then you have to choose rather than just
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  reacting automatically. Be like, no, stop and think.
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  Now, if you're a perfectionist, if you have some perfectionism
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  tendencies, which you might do, you might do.
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  So you are very much an all or nothing thinker that narrows
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  down your options. So it's only like there's only
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  one way of your day going and that's perfect.
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  If it goes derails a little bit from perfect, like you have that
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  one biscuit and you think, oh, sod it.
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  Now it's about reframing that one biscuit.
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  It's about going, oh, actually, this is my perfectionist
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  tendencies coming up. And you know what?
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  I have free will. I can carry on pressing the self
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  sabotage button and I can ruin the whole day.
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  I can ruin tomorrow. I can ruin it till next Monday,
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  or I can exercise my free will. Stop pausing it.
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  Actually, I really like that biscuit with that coffee and
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  needed that. And now I'm just going to go and
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  eat what I was normally going to eat for lunch and I'm going to
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  have my normal tea. You have free will to make
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  authority over your decisions. I know the choice is always
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  available, always available. Another reason why these
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  podcasts come up. I'm scattering around here a
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  bit, but I've just come to my mind.
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  Another reason why these podcasts came up was because I
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  was in a meeting and someone was saying how long it takes to
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  change a habit. And they were like, oh, it's 30
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  days. You need 30 days to change a
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  habit. And me and my friend looked at
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  each of them were like, you can change a habit today.
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  You don't need to wait 30 days. You can change a habit today
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  because you have free will over your actions.
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  We live in a free country. We don't really live in a free
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  world, but we live in a free country.
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  And if you want to stop doom scrolling, you can do you don't
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  have to wait 30 days. You can just stop it.
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  I know if you want to stop emotionally eating, you can stop
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  emotionally eating, but you have to have the tools and strategies
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  in there to like change it. But you don't have to wait 30
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  days. You don't have to say, oh,
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  actually someone said that it's 30 days.
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  You don't even know who you can change it.
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  You can change whatever you want to change.
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  It's not about willpower, It's not about determination.
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  It's about having free will and making decision which aligns
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  with what you want. I know going back to
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  relationship with food, that was just a separate thing that I
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  came upon. I was like, I know This is why I
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  need to talk about it. What I see with chronic dieters,
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  like when I say chronic, I'm sorry, that sounds really harsh.
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  But when I, when I see people who've been on a diet all their
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  lives or been on and off, it's, it's really super, super common.
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  They get really stuck in making their own decisions and feeling
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  confident in them. So instead of listening to
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  themselves, they just completely ignore everything about their
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  own body, what she's telling her and everything like that.
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  So they eat by the clock, they eat by the plan, eat by the
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  calories consumed, eat by the protein level.
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  And it's never looked internally at what the body wants when the
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  body's hungry, what the body is saying, how it's communicating,
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  what are the emotions saying when you have that urge to eat?
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  What is the feelings behind the drive to open the fridge door?
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  It's never about that with diets and food rules.
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  However, in mindful eating, that's what I look at because
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  you don't need any more information.
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  You just need to like access your body.
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  You need to look internally instead of externally.
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  You need to reconnect the internal hunger and foreigner
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  scale. You need to claim it back as an
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  act of free will. You need to listen to what your
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  body is communicating because you've taught, you've been
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  taught to ignore it. And when you get the tools and
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  strategies in place to listen again, you, you physically can't
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  go wrong. You can't be on a wagon.
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  You can't fall off the wagon because you're listening to your
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  own body. There's no right or wrong.
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  And that's what I do in mindful eating.
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  I take you back to you so that you then gain confidence in what
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  your body is doing, what your mind is doing.
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  You make decisions. They go, oh, yeah, actually, you
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  know what? I did just have that biscuit
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  without coffee. I didn't think about having a
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  dessert for tea, didn't think about ordering a take away.
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  So just I just moved on with my life.
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  And that's the beauty of mindful eating.
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  That is the beauty of taking the information back into yourself.
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  A lot of diets and food rules and everything like that, they
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  disempower you. They make you think that, oh,
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  you can't be hungry, you must be thirsty.
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  You don't need to eat that much because that's too much for you.
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  There's nothing about like what you want.
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  And what I do in coaching, my 1:00 to 1:00 coaching, I give
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  you the power back. I empower you.
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  It's one of my core values, empowerment, because I'm not
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  here to disempower you. I'm here to say, you know what?
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  You're a smart, capable woman. Let's just apply that to food.
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  Let's just listen to your body. Let's listen to what's going on
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  inside you. Let's create some awareness
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  around these things that are coming up for you that then
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  drive you to eat. And it's really important to be
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  empowered because once you feel empowered, you change.
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  It's lasting change. It's not like you go, oh, I was
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  empowered then, but I'm not empowered now.
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  It doesn't work like that. You just get more and more
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  confident in your decisions until you get to the same point
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  as the confidence that you are when you're making a decision at
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  home or at work. It's just a decision you make
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  and it's no longer thinking, should I be eating this?
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  Should I? Is this good for me?
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  None of that, none of that. It's all about making a decision
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  that like comes from you and your body.
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  Therefore you can't go wrong. Oh, no, but I hear you say, but
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  colour, I've done everything and my body would eat everything.
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  So I can't listen to her. I can't do that or I should be
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  able to do this on my own. I know enough.
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  Yep, I've got all the diets I've done a bit.
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  I like that bit from that one, that bit I should be able to do
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  it. And yeah, it's oh, how how do I
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  going to put this? It's not something that you can
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  do by yourself because looking internally is a skill that needs
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  to be built on. It's not a character trait.
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  You either have it or you don't have it.
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  It's a skill, it's that can be learned.
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  It's not something that you're born with.
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  Everybody has the ability to look internally to create
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  awareness about things. But it is a skill that needs to
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  be gained, and that's where coaching helps.
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  That's where coaching helps because it you don't have to do
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  it by yourself. It's often the blind side.
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  But I see it. It's like when someone looks in,
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  I can look in at people on consultation calls and I'm like,
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  Yep, I've seen this before. I know exactly what I'm talking
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  about. Yep, all this I know.
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  And they're like, really like, yeah, you're not unusual.
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  You're very much a very much a product of your environment.
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  And they're like, oh, I thought it was just me.
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  It's like, no, no, you don't have to do this on your own.
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  Let's just bring awareness to it because you're a smart, capable
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  woman. Let's do that.
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  So yeah, you don't have to do it on your own, but giving people,
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  giving women free will, giving them the ability to look
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  internally at all the information that they already
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  have and listen to their body is absolutely fantastic.
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  When it comes to relationship with food, it's really good
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  because then it becomes ethical, it becomes sustainable.
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  It becomes beautiful when I watch people flourish, make
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  decisions, feel empowered, and then they're like, yeah, don't
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  do that anymore. I'm like, Oh, yeah, you don't do
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  you? And then that just makes room
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  for everything else in their life to get better, which is
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  fantastic, which is what we love, which is what sorting out
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  your relationship with food is like.
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  If I have said anything that you're like, oh, Carver, I'm
• 15:44
  like that. Then head over to the show
• 15:47
  notes, book a free consultation, call with me for 30 minutes.
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  I'll chat to you. And I'll be like, yeah, we can
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  sort that out. Yep, I know what to do.
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  Don't worry about that and let, yeah, let's just chat in there
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  because I was in this position with my business.
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  So bit of bit of a open up here. Built a really successful
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  business and then had a baby. I know the curse of women's
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  careers. Then all of a sudden I just
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  started dating myself, dating my business, and I was looking for
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  other people to tell me what to do.
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  I was looking at people telling me, oh, you need to do that, you
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  need to do that and you need to plug this hole.
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  You need to do this task. And as as a task based person, I
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  love that. Bye.
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  But actually my business is all about me and what works for me
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  and how I do it. And I was like, hey, you know
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  what? I just need to listen to myself.
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  I need to listen to my gut. I need to listen to my head.
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  I need to listen to my heart. And since I've gone back to
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  doing that and I've blocked it, all the external noise, it feels
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  so much easier. It feels so much more peaceful.
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  It feels, yeah, it feels great. It feels great.
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  And my business is flourishing. So Yep, let's stop looking for
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  the next diet. Let's access what's already
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  inside you. And yeah, let's break the cycle
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  you're in because that's exactly what I do in coaching.
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  Head over to the show now. It's book your call, and let's
• 17:25
  go from there. Thank you so much for listening
• 17:28
  to me today. If something in this episode
• 17:30
  landed for you, if you've had that moment when you thought,
• 17:33
  oh, that's me, I want you to do something with it.
• 17:36
  Don't just let it sit there. Share this episode with someone
• 17:39
  who needs to hear it. Send the link.
• 17:41
  Tell them you need to start listening to Chatting with Carla
• 17:44
  because this work spreads when we talk about it.
• 17:48
  And if you're ready to stop cycling for the same patterns
• 17:51
  and actually do the deep work, it changes everything.
• 17:54
  I'd love to work with you one to one.
• 17:56
  Book yourself for free, no obligation consultation call in
• 18:00
  the show notes. We'll chat about what's going on
• 18:02
  for you, where you want to go, and I'll give you the road map
• 18:05
  to get there. If you love the show, hit
• 18:07
  subscribe so new episodes drop straight into your library every
• 18:11
  Friday. And please leave a review.
• 18:13
  It helps others find Chatting with Cara and build this
• 18:16
  community. You can find me on Instagram and
• 18:19
  Facebook at Coach with Cara or e-mail me at Cara at Coach with
• 18:25
  Cara dot K dot Ek. Until next time.
• 18:29
  Thanks team.