Latest / Learnings and Missteps by Depth Builder / Mario Acosta on Mindset, Teamwork, and Trust: The Building Blocks of Champions

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Mario Acosta on Mindset, Teamwork, and Trust: The Building Blocks of Champions · Learnings and Missteps by Depth Builder

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: We're going to practice like champions.
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: We're going to eat like champions.
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: We're going to breathe like champions.
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: We're going to play like champions.
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: We're going to do everything that champions do.
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: We have to trust each other.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: But what are you prepared to sacrifice?
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: The hardest person I have to deal with was myself.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: What is going on?
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: Lnm family.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: I got another super awesome, inspirational, motivational.
• 0:27
  Speaker 2: Believe it or not, he's in the construction industry as well.
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: We connected through LinkedIn.
• 0:33
  Speaker 2: He attends the live streams.
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: We jumped on a phone call.
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: I was like, oh my God, I got to get you on the show because of the energy that it brings in, like his open perspective about leadership and investing in people.
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: He's a senior project manager, self-made, with over 20 years.
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: He's in the painting industry and he's like a straight up football aficionado, but not like American football soccer and so hopefully we'll be able to get into that.
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: My buddy's name is Mr Mario and you're going to get to know him here in a second.
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: Now, if this is your very first time here, this is the Learnings and Missteps podcast, where you get to see how real people just like you are sharing their gifts and talents to leave this world better than they found it.
• 1:28
  Speaker 2: I'm jesse, your self-serving, and let's get to know, mr mario.
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: Mario, how you doing?
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: My friend doing pretty good, sir.
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: How about yourself?
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: Oh man, just here slacking off, pretending like I'm working.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's what they tend to say about everybody in this industry, right?
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: Anybody in the office.
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: We don't do anything Right?
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: That's not true.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: That's not true at all.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: It's not true.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: I wish it was sometimes, but it's not.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah for sure.
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: So you're a senior project manager, but I know you have a lot more responsibility than just managing projects.
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: You have a whole lot of commitment and involvement in the local community there in Austin.
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: So my question or the L&M family wants to know was that your original plan?
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: Did you know 20 years ago that you were going to be doing what?
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: you're doing today.
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: No, sir, it was nowhere near my vision.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: At first I wanted to be a doctor and then, as I was going through high school, I was attracted by the technology industry.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So I actually started going to school for computer engineering.
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: Really, it was never my plan, never in my mind.
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Okay, we talked about this a little bit before we hit record.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: But when I was out there in the field I wanted to be a foreman because, man the foreman, they got it made.
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: And then I said, man, I want to be a superintendentman Because, man the foreman, they got it made.
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: And then I said, man, I want to be a superintendent because all they do is drive around.
• 3:08
  Speaker 2: And then every promotion I got I was like, man, this stuff is way harder than I thought it was.
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Is that kind of your experience in what you're doing now?
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: Yes, sir.
• 3:18
  Speaker 1: So I actually was promoted to be a foreman when I was 19 years old.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: I started running small jobs in the paint industry.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: I was glad that I had a really good mentor at the time and his name is David Hernandez.
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: Never going to take any credit from him.
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: He's the one that taught me the fundamentals on the application for the product, technical obtaining, and then, from there on, when he moved up, he was the superintendent and took me up with him, so I became a foreman.
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: Later on I got the opportunity to function like a superintendent slash foreman.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: I like the hybrid.
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the same stuff that you were just mentioning.
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: Exactly what I was receiving from our field is that I do a drive, drive around, and this is my response.
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: After a few times of receiving that type of feedback, I started entering with it.
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I traded my job for one day okay yeah, that's it.
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: And there was actually a few opportunities when I had to take time off and I had to find somebody.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: Somebody had to go receive a job.
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Right, I'm sending you three days in.
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: They were already blowing up my phone, oh yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: So what kind of advice would you have for, like a young hungry trade craft worker out there that wants to not just the next promotion but wants to go from installer to foreman to super?
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: What's the things you would tell yourself if you could go back and say hey, mario, think about this.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: You need to learn this.
• 4:54
  Speaker 2: This is what you should focus on.
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Well, number one and this is something that I tell everybody that I code or teach right.
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: Number one rule is you have to believe in yourself.
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: If you don't believe in yourself, you already have a big hurdle right there.
• 5:12
  Speaker 1: So, first of all, believe in yourself.
• 5:15
  Speaker 1: Second, surround yourself with people that are already there.
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: I mean, why are you going to get advice from somebody that's from the same level as you or, even worse?
• 5:24
  Speaker 1: You know your teammates.
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: They're not always going to be supportive or believe in you.
• 5:32
  Speaker 1: A lot of times they're discouraging.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: They tell you what are you doing?
• 5:35
  Speaker 1: You're not going to get there.
• 5:37
  Speaker 1: There's no way you can do it.
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: But that's why I say believe in yourself and surround yourself with people that are already there.
• 5:43
  Speaker 1: Then you can start asking the question how did you do it?
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: What do I need to do?
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: What do I need to learn and stay open-minded.
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: The way I did it was that I was surrounded by very phenomenal foremen.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: I had different foremen, the old school foremen Back then, because things are different now.
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Back then, being a professional painter, people were proud about it.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: It was something that you will find a lot of pride on, and I had one of them a net To this day.
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: I have not seen anybody like them.
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: I never was able to reach that level that they had, but each one of them had different styles.
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: Each one of them had their strengths, their weaknesses, and so what I would do is I would grab the strong stuff from each one of them and then I would create my own version, and that's exactly how I coach and I teach.
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: I will give you the fundamentals, I will give you the instructions.
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: I will give you the instructions to follow.
• 6:46
  Speaker 1: From there on, it's all up to you.
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: You're not going to do everything exactly how I tell you or exactly how I did it, but you have an idea of what to do.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: So make it yours.
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: Make it yours, because the only way to succeed is being your best self.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: If you're comfortable, like right now, I'm being myself.
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: I'm not using big words.
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: When I go to corporate meetings, I have to use big words.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I have to prepare myself Like I have to put up a thought.
• 7:13
  Speaker 1: Right, this is the real Mario, and I always tell people if you can be yourself in any type of setting and be successful, that's the best way to go.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 7:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yes, because the amount of pressure that you take off of yourself by just I see, this is it, this is what you're getting.
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: This is me Like it's easier to do that than it is to put on the facade, but in some cases that's kind of necessary.
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: Okay, now you mentioned that you wanted to be a doctor and then you also said you talked about a real, like honest, appreciation for the trade of painting.
• 8:00
  Speaker 2: Or when you started in the trade, was there any kind of external disappointment, judgment from family members or friends about, okay, you wanted to be a doctor and look at you, now you're a painter?
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Did you have to deal with any of that Before we get there?
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: I want to do the L&M family member shout out, and this one goes out to Miss Claudia.
• 8:25
  Speaker 2: Miss Claudia says Jesse's time management workshop is just what I needed to get started with the right mindset.
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: Thanks again, jesse, for all the effort and energy you put into making us all better.
• 8:38
  Speaker 2: That is super awesome.
• 8:40
  Speaker 2: She sent me that, of course, if y'all heard it, she signed up for the time management workshop and if you want to do that, things available.
• 8:46
  Speaker 2: And if you just want to send me a nice positive note or a stinky note or some kind of thought, something that triggered in your head.
• 8:54
  Speaker 2: Do that Because I love seeing them, because it gets evidence to me that people are listening and I get to shout you out in the future listening and I get to shout you out in the future.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Yes, sure I did Figure it or not?
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: The toughest person that I had to deal with wasn't by myself.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: Oh, I was very disappointed.
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: I felt like I had failed myself first of all.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: So at that time I was the first person to make it to college.
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: From my whole family, from the coast of Pilar, which is the coast of Pilar, my mom's life in Pilar I was going to be the first college graduate, wow.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: So I think now thinking about it, I was putting a lot of pressure on myself.
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: So I would say 30% pretty much, unfortunately, the circumstances at that time limited me from being able to pursue that.
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: Sure, but as far as family members, yes, there was disappointment, not as bad, but it was more from the peers.
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: Peers were the ones that, like you just said, not giving away too much.
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, things happen, but what I'm learning?
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: in life is that it's not focused on the failure.
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: Focus on how they move on.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: If you focus on the failure, you're going to get stuck there.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: So don't listen to the people, don't listen to the peers, don't listen to them.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: They don't know what you're going through.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: They don't know, what all you have to do to get to where you're at.
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: But yeah, there was definitely a lot of disappointments on my peers.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: Family members were pretty supportive.
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: Oh wow, the hardest person I had to deal with was myself my own.
• 10:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, I love that Because I had the same similar experience when I was in apprenticeship.
• 10:43
  Speaker 2: I knew that I loved the work, right Like the physicality of the work, the problem solving, the environment.
• 10:49
  Speaker 2: It was like everything I could have ever asked for.
• 10:52
  Speaker 2: But in my head I was a failure because all my friends were going to university and I could have, and it wasn't until my third year of apprenticeship that I finally started feeling like hell with it.
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: This is my career.
• 11:07
  Speaker 2: I'm going to do something awesome with this, but inside my head it was real difficult Overcoming, wrestling the self-doubt, the judgment that came from it, and all it took was a little look or a little comment from somebody and there I went down the drain with my thinking, the spiral.
• 11:28
  Speaker 2: Yes, the spiral, yes, yes, yes.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: So I know that there's and hopefully it's getting better.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: It seems like there's a lot more messaging and appreciation for careers in the trades.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: But for people that are struggling with that, that internal struggle about man, I'm in the trades I could have, should have, would have what kind of pointers would you give them to like to come to terms with them, having made a really great decision?
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: well, like I said earlier, believe in yourself, you have to believe.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: If you keep, if you stay with the mindset of believing in yourself and your ability, then the hurdles will get smaller.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: But a big challenge if you don't believe in yourself, you're going to be in a little puddle, it's true, though.
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: I've done it myself.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: That's what I'm saying.
• 12:24
  Speaker 1: Life teaches you lessons.
• 12:26
  Speaker 1: So believe in yourself and do not ever be embarrassed Of what you are able to do, because at the end of the day, you're doing it most likely, for, first of all, you need the money.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: That's the main reason.
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: So we need to pay bills.
• 12:40
  Speaker 1: Some of them might have more possibilities.
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: Some of them might have kids, a family, and so as long as you're doing hey Bill, some of them might have more possibilities.
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: Some of them might have kids, a family, and so as long as you're doing the best that you can to provide for your family, you should never be embarrassed.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: So what type of project or career or job that you have, as long as you provide for your family, that should be the most important part.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: The final one is don't be embarrassed to be in the construction industry, because there's a lot of room for the construction industry.
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: You can go a lot of different paths, so there's a lot of options.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: Not only that, you got to think about it.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: There's a lot of jobs out there right now that depend on something like technology, for example right Like this, not to put you in a spot but IT.
• 13:22
  Speaker 1: Let's give it to IT.
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: What happens if the power goes out?
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: Nada, I'm done yeah.
• 13:30
  Speaker 1: And whenever you're out there on the trade, like I tell my kids, especially my boys, learn things that nobody can take away from you.
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: Learn things that are always going to be valuable and learn things that will feed your family, no matter what.
• 13:45
  Speaker 1: There's other trades that are like mechanics, doctors you know you're always going to need engineering, engineers.
• 13:54
  Speaker 1: You're always going to need engineers.
• 13:55
  Speaker 1: Society needs that kind of help and support.
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Politicians they know how to create people.
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: They know how to unify things.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: Lawyers you're always going.
• 14:03
  Speaker 1: They know how to deal with, I think, lawyers you always need somebody to help you, help, guide you, and society really does need those fundamental things.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: So don't ever be afraid, don't ever feel shameful of yourself, because there's no limit, there's no limit, the only limit that you will experience.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: In between your ears, I you when you said some people drown in a puddle.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: It reminds me of this video I think I saw on tiktok, like there's a lady and she's going crazy, oh jolly.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: She's panicking and freaking out.
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: She's holding on to something.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: She's in, like a in a river, and all she had to do was stand up.
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: The water wasn't that deep, but she was laying down holding on to this thing, panicking, and finally somebody grabbed her and stood her up and she's oh really I'm not a bad swimmer, okay.
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'll get.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: I'll get really nervous and me and my wife were tubing and I got to an area where I wasn't sure how deep it was and I fell off the tube and I was floating like like superman.
• 15:11
  Speaker 1: I was floating, the current was keeping me up low and I'm getting hurt.
• 15:16
  Speaker 1: Throw me the rope, throw me the rope and she just and she'd get jump and up, jump and up Again.
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: it's what's in our head, man.
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: So yeah, the first conversation you and I had have a very firm grasp on the value of your mindset, on the way we think and the way we see things.
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: Where did that come from?
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: I contributed that to my parents.
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my dad, the typically.
• 15:49
  Speaker 1: He's been somebody that I've always admired.
• 15:54
  Speaker 1: We used to go hunting.
• 15:56
  Speaker 1: I was like eight, four years old and we're talking about staying out there at night.
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: We'll jump on the board.
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: All we would take is the rifle, the gun, the hunt and matches, blankets and a little bit of talk.
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: That's it.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: We would go hunting for three, four days out there.
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: Imagine a three, four-year-old kid doing all that, me seeing him go through things in life, Like one time he stepped on a big nail and it came in from under and to the top.
• 16:30
  Speaker 1: He stayed so cool headed, so cool headed, and all he asked me was go grab the pliers and pull it out.
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: So here he goes looking for the flowers.
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: Okay, come back again.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: Water, fire, gravel.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: I find him, I bring him and, yeah, he light up the counter and I pull it out.
• 16:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so composed, and he would always tell me the pain can be controlled, the blood you can blow it down.
• 17:05
  Speaker 1: Composed, and he would always tell me the pain can be controlled, but blood you can't.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: You can slow it down by staying calm, but the pain you can control it.
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: So once you learn how to control certain things with your mind, a lot of things are not going to be possible.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: And that stuck to me, that stuck with me.
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: And so from there growing up, it was just me questioning more and more and more.
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: But I think God with him and my parents, I think that's where he came from early age.
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and you mentioned mentors earlier, but like being able to see somebody do these big things shifts your thinking because now you know what's possible right now, like for real.
• 17:52
  Speaker 2: For real, somebody that I know, a human being that I can touch and hear their voice, has responded to a situation where a lot of people would have lost their mind and just stayed cool and made it happen and so it's OK.
• 18:04
  Speaker 2: Well, hell, I could do that, and I don't have to step on a nail.
• 18:07
  Speaker 2: I could do that to a lot of things.
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: I mean you go up in on hell with the puddle, Don't drown.
• 18:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, don't drown in the puddle man.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 18:18
  Speaker 2: I love it.
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: All right.
• 18:20
  Speaker 2: So you were in the trades.
• 18:21
  Speaker 2: You All right.
• 18:25
  Speaker 2: So you were in the trades, you got to work with some really great foremen.
• 18:27
  Speaker 2: Now you have a whole lot of responsibility up there in Austin.
• 18:29
  Speaker 2: What was that path Like?
• 18:33
  Speaker 2: What are some of the lessons you learned coming up in the field through the different positions that you apply today in the work that you do now, that you apply?
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: today in the work that you do now.
• 18:44
  Speaker 1: Teamwork, stay open-minded, those two things you don't take the way.
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: The more addictive hire you move up, the more you need the team.
• 18:53
  Speaker 1: I learned the hard way that you cannot do any big thing by yourself.
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: Ah, you need a team.
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: So it's the same application.
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: When I was in the field I was a foreman I built a team.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: It took me four years to build a team.
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: Okay, we were the type of team that, let's say, they would give me a project and the superintendent would tell me you're going to need six people.
• 19:23
  Speaker 1: I would look at the plan, I would go walk the job, I would come back and I'd say just give me one or two, are you sure?
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: Yes, you got it, and so we will go into a little execute.
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: But it took time to get to that point.
• 19:35
  Speaker 1: It was probably like 50 people that came to my job where I was in charge, you know, I think it was like five or what total meaningful guys.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: And so teamwork I realized that when you have a strong team that you can work with the unit, you can trust each other to do what you need to do and not have to worry about going back and checking their work all the time.
• 20:02
  Speaker 1: I think you can do anything like that.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: So I've applied that just about everywhere, including soccer.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: It's the same application, different type of coaching, but at the end of the day, it's the same mindset Unity, trust, communication, accountability.
• 20:21
  Speaker 1: We have to plan, but more than anything it's trust.
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: You have to plan, but more than anything, it's trust you have to trust.
• 20:27
  Speaker 1: If you don't trust, you will not be able to grow as a team.
• 20:30
  Speaker 1: And then then you start looking at, you start tuning it up more and more.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: You start looking at chemistry, you start looking at other things, but those are the fundamentals teamwork.
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: In no time so, folks, if you don't know this, mario built teams out on the field in the soccer field, soccer teams and in business, and so I think what I'm taking is there's some principles that translate across from business to the field Now, in terms of selecting a team and this trust element, and I don't care like if you want to use a work story or a soccer story what's the one way to not do it?
• 21:15
  Speaker 2: Have you ever done it wrong?
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: And if you have, what did that look like?
• 21:19
  Speaker 2: So we can give people the warning like don't do it like this.
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: I will say this and this is I repeat this a lot I'm not the type of person that will tell you my way or the highway, okay.
• 21:32
  Speaker 1: You cannot do that.
• 21:33
  Speaker 1: You can't.
• 21:35
  Speaker 1: Everybody learns different.
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: So you have.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: You cannot do that, you can't.
• 21:38
  Speaker 1: Everybody learns different.
• 21:39
  Speaker 1: So that's why I say stay open-minded.
• 21:41
  Speaker 1: I ran into four men leaders until today that are stuck in the my way or the highway, not going to work.
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: All you're going to do is create separation and create chaos if you do that, and there's going to be no trust.
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: So how can you build that?
• 21:57
  Speaker 1: And there's going to be no trust.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: So how can you build a team when there's no trust, okay.
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: So number one is I Take theI out of your vocabulary.
• 22:09
  Speaker 1: When you're speaking about the team, it's not about I, it's we, and that's one of the things that they hammer on me here.
• 22:16
  Speaker 1: Where I'm at, it's we about I, it's we, and that's one of the things that they hammer on me here.
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: Where I'm at, it's we.
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's not co-workers, teammates.
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: You know it was hard for her, but it becomes habit.
• 22:28
  Speaker 1: Don't expect for people to do things your way or the highway.
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: That's not good.
• 23:15
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, and that's a tough, I know my I'll say it this way my experience, coming up from an installer to foreman and so forth I was this is my way, or get the hell out of here, type of guy.
• 23:28
  Speaker 2: And you said it beautifully If you want to build big things, you can't do it alone, and that's what was happening.
• 23:37
  Speaker 2: I hit a point where, yeah, like that was all I could accomplish because it was my way, or the highway which makes me really do carry the load of do things on my own.
• 23:47
  Speaker 2: I had to learn how to listen and be flexible and learn oh, you do it, that way is better, or maybe it's not better, but it's not worse and it works.
• 23:58
  Speaker 2: So let it, man.
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: I struggled with that for so long, man, and that's what I feel when I'm coaching them and even our superintendent.
• 24:08
  Speaker 1: sometimes we don't have to solve everything by ourselves.
• 24:11
  Speaker 1: Gather the team together.
• 24:13
  Speaker 1: Present the problem, present the goal that needs to happen, where we need to be at present.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: The constraints, if possible.
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: A lot of times they don't want to give you the constraints and just let them figure it out.
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: Sit back, let them figure it out, because at the end of the day, they're going to be the ones that have to let you.
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, if you tell them how to do things, if you go back to the my way or the highway and you tell them I want to do like this, like this, like that not everybody's going to be able to do that.
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: That's weakening in the chain, so why not just let them do it their way, like I always tell people when I was out there in the field.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I would tell them like, like, and you hired right.
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I would tell them.
• 25:02
  Speaker 1: I'm never gonna tell you I want it this way or not.
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: What I tell you is I want it to be like this.
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: This is the final product that I want.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: And this how much time you have now.
• 25:13
  Speaker 1: If you do it from left to right or right, left, upside down, one, your arm, whatever, I don't care how you do it, as long as we have the same outcome when we stay within the budget.
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: That's all, and believe it or not, that opens up their mind and then they start sharing things that that you probably didn't know.
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah they learning from them, and then you start becoming better, because now you're learning technique applications that you probably would have never even here, had you done it my way or the highway, versus asking them how can we do this?
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: How would you do it?
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: Teach me, show me you know, what way to do it and let them know we're gonna give it a shot.
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: But if it doesn't work we'll go back to fundamental and believe it.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: You learn a lot and they grow too and then at the same time, everything is connected.
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: You move one peak, everything else shifts.
• 26:09
  Speaker 2: Wherever you shift, everything else shifts like dominoes yes, yes, you know what I love the point you made is when we ask our team what do you think, what would you try?
• 26:22
  Speaker 2: What do you recommend?
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: How can we?
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: Here's the problem, here's the goal.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: What do you think we should do to get there, to contribute to the idea?
• 26:33
  Speaker 2: It reconnects them to their agency.
• 26:37
  Speaker 2: Because, you know this, out there in the field, there's people that have gone their whole career, that have been told what the hell to do, how to do it, when to do it, like blah, blah, blah, and that's not fun.
• 26:47
  Speaker 2: So you get this, you just whatever.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: Tell me what you want, tell me why you want me to do it.
• 26:52
  Speaker 2: But it's because of the way like, like it's easy to say post, they don't think for themselves.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: Well, no, it's not that.
• 26:59
  Speaker 2: It's because they've had ideas that everybody poo-pooed on.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: So now they don't have any ideas because they haven't had to use that critical thinking.
• 27:09
  Speaker 2: But engaging the critical thinking, that's the difference.
• 27:13
  Speaker 2: And then, like you said, the trust right, we're gonna try it.
• 27:16
  Speaker 2: If it doesn't work out, we'll go back to fundamentals.
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: Duh, like beautiful.
• 27:21
  Speaker 2: Let's give it a shot, let's learn from it, and we have a backup plan, man solid.
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: So the soccer stuff what's up with the soccer stuff.
• 27:30
  Speaker 2: I all I know about soccer is I get tired watching people run and people that do it.
• 27:35
  Speaker 2: I'm amazed at how they can run and run and run and run and run for out.
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: It blows my mind.
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: So what?
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: How did it capture your mind, and what is it that you're doing in that space?
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: Ah, coaching, I love coaching.
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: I love being a kid, I love being at the time.
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: I started coaching when I was a freshman.
• 27:54
  Speaker 1: Ah, my guinea pig was my little brother.
• 27:58
  Speaker 1: Okay, I was coaching him when he was little and was selling a lot, but he had an injury and that kind of thing.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: But I continued coaching, as a matter of fact, when I made a decision that I was no longer going to play because I didn't want to.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: I don't want to be injured, I cannot afford to be.
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: And at the time I'm thinking to myself if I'm out of work, how am I supposed to feed my family?
• 28:24
  Speaker 1: So I had an injury and I stopped.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: So I dedicated to coaching.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: My satisfaction and what I love the most is seeing people be successful in that sport.
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: What I love the most is seeing people be successful in that sport, that sport itself.
• 28:40
  Speaker 1: And I'm sure there's a lot more sports to do it too.
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: But through soccer you learn how to work with the unit Soccer, believe it or not, more than just running around.
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: You might not see it because it's not as obvious unless you're seen, but there's a lot more than what you can see on tv.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: There's formation, there's that.
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: There's styles defense styles, awkward styles.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: There's all kinds of variations that you can use and you have to know how to apply those formations and those tactics, depending on the type of player they have.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: When you pick up a, you don't know what you're getting.
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: It's not like you're selecting it.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: I had you a few times where I would get a phone call from a parent and they would ask me about how to help their kid team prepare for a tournament, because their coach is not going to be able to do it or they have coach.
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: That's a challenge and that's a lot of pressure.
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: So you have to apply those same things.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: One first is get them to work together as a unit.
• 29:43
  Speaker 1: Once they work together as a unit and they trust each other, then you start applying everything else.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: Everything else is easier.
• 29:53
  Speaker 1: So what are the options?
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: Believe on each other, believe on themselves, trust each other.
• 29:57
  Speaker 1: Believe on themselves, trust each other, trust the system, trust everything that's being happening.
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: That's what I always tell them.
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: You have to trust what I'm coaching.
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: If you don't trust what I'm saying, nobody's going to grow.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: The team's not going to grow.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: If one or two people cannot fall into the buy-in, the program, we're not going to be champions.
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: And from the very first day that I tell them when I pick up a team for a whole season, from the very first day out, we're going to be champions.
• 30:28
  Speaker 1: We're going to practice like champions.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: We're going to eat like champions.
• 30:30
  Speaker 1: We're going to breathe like champions.
• 30:31
  Speaker 1: We're going to play like champions.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: We're going to do everything that champions do.
• 30:34
  Speaker 1: So we're going to do everything the champions do.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: So we're going to practice like we play.
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: We're going to play like we practice.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: But you have to trust each other and we have to be patient with each other and we have to help each other.
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: We don't have time to be putting people down.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: We don't have time for that.
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: So work as a unit, again as a unit, as one.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: What's the goal?
• 30:54
  Speaker 1: One game and then, from there, win, be on the whatever place you have to be, to move on to playoff and then make it to the championship, and then you win the championship.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: So set the goal, let them know what are the steps.
• 31:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because in the season they know where we're at and they're constantly asking what place are we in, what place are we in?
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: And they're watching the group, the fans, and they know what they need to do.
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: So there's been times where the situation is we have to win the game, no matter what other way.
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: We're out, we're out, our match is on Do or die.
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: It never fails, but it's the number one team that you're going against.
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: So you have to do the unexpected that everybody doesn't think you can do.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: But when they win that game, oh my god.
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: Playoff, championship, everything else Piece of cake Again, it's a thing.
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: Piece of cake yeah, again it's a thing.
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: But that's where I buy soccer is because I love building teams.
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: I love seeing the kids receiving the medal celebrating together.
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: I love the development of the team when I first started working with them and then, when we finished the season yeah, you have a little group, the three over there, the five over there by the end of the season they're always together.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I see we four of us.
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: They all run together, and before that it was like one or two people would celebrate with that person and where's everybody else at?
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: Everybody contributed to this.
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: Everybody was a practice.
• 32:39
  Speaker 1: So without that, player cannot be the best order or the best forward in football to win championships.
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: So you need the team and once those people or players understand that they need the team, then they are being a teammate.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of times you have players that are the best and so they feel like I don't need the team.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: I can do it by myself.
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: But when they start using the team and relying on the team, and it even helps the team, because the opponent don't even know who the target is, because everybody would say I don't want to be, they will shut you down.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: But once that individual learns, if I use my team and rely on my team, I'm gonna get a lot of championships.
• 33:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah so, but what I mean exactly was that the satisfaction of seeing people develop, being dn players.
• 33:34
  Speaker 1: Get you know people for tryouts, people for tryouts for professional, for a professional walk-on.
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: I had a player that reached out to me out of the blue one time and told me Mario, you're a big player, what's going on?
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: I'm going to go try out in Mexico.
• 33:49
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's not an easy thing.
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: Re reaching out to you, can you prepare me All right?
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: Well then, get ready, because it's not going to be easy.
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: But seeing them grow not just the players, the teammates on the industry and the field, but a parent, a brother, a son, seeing them grow and be good, that to me, that's why I love life.
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, man, that is the ultimate being able to see.
• 34:24
  Speaker 2: I remember when I was forming turning men forming and then the different responsibilities I had, being able to see people grow into what I could see and what they told me they wanted, was like super, super fulfilling.
• 34:39
  Speaker 2: Now, one thing that I experienced and I think and I wish, like I wish this for everybody in the world when you're a part of something great, overcoming something gigantic a championship, playoffs, like, whatever it is, it doesn't matter what it is, but doing that with a team shifts something inside.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: Well, it shifted something inside of me.
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: We're the high school, we're very competitive baseball team, we made it pretty far into the playoffs and it completely transformed the way I saw myself and I saw things ahead of me, and so I imagine you've seen that with your teams and with yourself.
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: What is that Like?
• 35:25
  Speaker 2: Why do you think that happens?
• 35:26
  Speaker 2: You're a part of something great and something like it's not the Super Bowl, right, it's not the World Cup, but it changes the way you see the world forever.
• 35:37
  Speaker 2: What do you think that is?
• 35:40
  Speaker 1: I think, as human by nature, we don't like to be alone.
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: You know, we don't like to be alone.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: That's our nature, if you really think about society and human, we don't like to be alone.
• 35:53
  Speaker 1: And so when somebody feels like they're part of something good, they're going to have pride.
• 36:00
  Speaker 1: And when they have pride, they're going to give it their best.
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: And so, being part of something big and know that it's possible and that you were part of it, it picks up your confidence.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: Your system is built and now you're realizing, like I can actually do that, I can actually be part of something like that.
• 36:24
  Speaker 1: And so I think, with me personally, it was shifted to me, or that I was doing the impossible, doing what people couldn't do.
• 36:35
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes, so I got to high school.
• 36:40
  Speaker 1: Right, I was not the best player, I'm not going to make that very clear.
• 36:42
  Speaker 1: I was not the best, but I was a coachable one and I would rely a lot on my teammates.
• 36:51
  Speaker 1: I would rely a lot on them.
• 36:53
  Speaker 1: I was scared to get hit, so I would hit the ball right away.
• 36:56
  Speaker 1: Hit the ball, but coming into high school and hearing people say, oh, freshmen hardly ever make varsity, someone tells me that and I'm like okay, let me tell you, wrong, made varsity Nice and never seen a freshman be a captain.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: Okay, turned them wrong and then, well, you should move to school.
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: You deserve to be part of a better team.
• 37:30
  Speaker 1: I got to talk like that about my teammate, you know.
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: Ooh, yeah, he's been working hard in junior high for a goal.
• 37:37
  Speaker 1: Our goal was to make playoffs for the first time ever on our high school program, our high school soccer program.
• 37:43
  Speaker 1: We were working together at the unit, the core team, not everybody, but like seven or eight core.
• 37:49
  Speaker 1: Why would you talk like that about my teammates?
• 37:52
  Speaker 1: You don't know what we've gone through.
• 37:53
  Speaker 1: You don't know how many failures we've experienced at the team, how many failures we've experienced as a team, how many times we cried together as a team.
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: How many times we see one of our teammates get hurt and now we have to figure it out, because now we have to replace that teammate.
• 38:08
  Speaker 1: How to overcome all these challenges?
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: Don't talk like that about me and then we may play out.
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, the problem just kept getting better and better.
• 38:21
  Speaker 1: So me seeing my brother, who were younger, going to see them play a playoff, going deeper and deeper in playoffs, that was like I'm part of that.
• 38:32
  Speaker 1: I'm part of that.
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: We were the ones that set the standards for this.
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: Now everybody, let's pick it up and keep it going.
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: So I think it's a combination of everything.
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: You leave a legacy.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: You're proud of what you do.
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: It always feels good for people to give you compliments, you know, yeah, it's always good to go to your high school and or hear people say I saw your name on the board or whatever, or something, and or hear people say I saw your name on the board or whatever or something.
• 38:59
  Speaker 1: And it can be for anything, not just iPhone.
• 39:00
  Speaker 1: I saw your name on the news.
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: I saw you, like right now, in the podcast.
• 39:03
  Speaker 1: I saw you in the podcast.
• 39:05
  Speaker 1: I never thought I would be doing anything like this.
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: I'm glad to have the opportunity to meet you and you opened the door for me.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: We don't know what's coming up from it, right, but I think it.
• 39:16
  Speaker 1: What's coming out from there, right.
• 39:17
  Speaker 1: But I think it's a combination of all that.
• 39:20
  Speaker 1: When you're part of a team and you accomplish something big, it sparks something in you.
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: Because, if you look at it the opposite way, people that are part of a team, they could be the best team ever and they're supposed to be champions and they don't make championships, they get crushed and those people, a lot of times, are struggling in life at the thought that failure, that trauma that they experience.
• 39:44
  Speaker 1: But I think it will impact you either way.
• 39:47
  Speaker 1: Being part of something like that, it will impact you negatively or opposite yeah yeah oh man.
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: So it's clear that you have a deep passion and connection and appreciation for the people that you accomplish things with and build things with, and it's obvious that that love started with football and you're still at it.
• 40:13
  Speaker 2: Right, you're coaching now, but you're also building a team in business with Carco there in Austin.
• 40:18
  Speaker 2: How many times have people said, bro, relax, you're a little too intense.
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: Has that ever happened to you?
• 40:27
  Speaker 1: Every day.
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: Yes, Every day.
• 40:32
  Speaker 1: As a matter of fact, not that long ago, a few minutes ago, I was asking our teammates here in the office.
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: I was asking them for feedback because we're struggling with some up-and-coming foremen and I don't blame them off the bat, I don't automatically think that they're the problem.
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: I started analyzing myself Wait, go back, go back, go back.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: Maybe I'm doing something wrong.
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: Maybe I need to reach in more, approach them a different way.
• 40:57
  Speaker 1: And we were just talking about that and I was asking them do you guys think I'm hard?
• 41:02
  Speaker 1: Do you guys think I'm a hard person to work with?
• 41:05
  Speaker 1: Do I overdo you guys?
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: Am I too straight?
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: And they were being honest with me.
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: They're like yeah, first you were, but once we learn that you do have a presentation for us and we just try, we'll be okay, but yeah, every day.
• 41:25
  Speaker 1: Well, let me finish this first before you ask me for something else.
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a curse.
• 41:31
  Speaker 2: It's a blessing and a curse.
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: I had one apprentice, david Olguin.
• 41:37
  Speaker 2: David, if you're listening, I always talk about you.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: When I started working with him, I'm like he had all the skills right, like just he was a first green out of high school.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: I said, man, this guy's got it, him a champion.
• 41:58
  Speaker 2: So when I was in apprenticeship we had a annual craft Olympics where you could go, travel and compete against other.
• 42:01
  Speaker 2: We were plumbers, so you can compete against other apprentices on the in the plumbing trade.
• 42:04
  Speaker 2: And I decided this is what you're going to do.
• 42:08
  Speaker 2: He worked with and I he was all.
• 42:10
  Speaker 2: I took him every job I went to.
• 42:13
  Speaker 2: About two years into it quit.
• 42:15
  Speaker 2: He left the company.
• 42:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he went to work for and it was a great decision for him because he's moved up with the school district.
• 42:21
  Speaker 2: But I was like, david, what do you have?
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: I had no idea.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: I've been working with him for two or three years.
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: What happened, bro?
• 42:29
  Speaker 2: I was like, why are you leaving?
• 42:31
  Speaker 2: He's?
• 42:32
  Speaker 2: Well, part of the reason is you know how construction it's heavy and then it's sometimes it slows down.
• 42:37
  Speaker 2: This this was back in early 2000s, it's just.
• 42:41
  Speaker 2: It makes me nervous not knowing that if I'm going to have a job or not in six months or nine months.
• 42:47
  Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, bro, we're always going to, you're good, you're always going to have work.
• 42:50
  Speaker 2: No, it's just too much pressure.
• 42:53
  Speaker 2: And I'm like, come on, man, that's your reason.
• 42:56
  Speaker 2: He said well, no, that's not the only reason.
• 43:00
  Speaker 2: I'm like okay, tell me and I'll go to the office, I'll tell them whatever.
• 43:03
  Speaker 2: And he said well, it's you.
• 43:04
  Speaker 2: And I said what he said Jesse, like having you is like a blessing and a curse.
• 43:11
  Speaker 2: He's like you have these expectations of me that are just too much for me.
• 43:17
  Speaker 2: Like it's too much pressure.
• 43:19
  Speaker 2: You're freaking, kidding me.
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: No, like you, you decided that I'm gonna win the thing and I don't even know what the hell that means.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Like I just started, that's it, and I learned.
• 43:30
  Speaker 1: Like I don't know, that's what he was saying yeah, yeah, yeah, and so I've learned to.
• 43:39
  Speaker 2: Not just the big mistake I made there and I repeated it multiple times in my career but the big mistake I made was I had a vision for somebody and I decided we're going down that path, but I never got agreement for them to see if they even cared about that vision.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: And so now I do it the other way around.
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: Hey, hey, I see some things that I know you can accomplish.
• 44:07
  Speaker 2: Are you interested in going down that path?
• 44:12
  Speaker 2: Because if you're not, I need to know so that I don't freak you out and crush you under the pressure.
• 44:20
  Speaker 1: It's crazy that you mentioned that I learned not that long ago.
• 44:23
  Speaker 1: Like I said, about three months ago, I learned that you have to get them to buy in for it and asking what do you want?
• 44:33
  Speaker 1: Because this is what I need, this is what you can become, this other route you can go.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: I can help you get there.
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: You have what it takes, but what do you want?
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: yeah a lot of times they didn't want to please me.
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: So I'm working on that one.
• 44:49
  Speaker 1: I'm working on how to identify a people pleaser versus someone that's actually genuinely wanting to do what you brought him into, what you bring him into.
• 44:59
  Speaker 1: But I started applying the scare tactic.
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: I call it the scare tactic Because a lot of times it's more likely that they approach you asking for help to get to a level or a position.
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: Then you approach it right, yeah, it's more likely for them to hey, I want to be a foreman, okay, well, you start working on this and do from that.
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: Once you can master those things, you come back.
• 45:31
  Speaker 1: That's their step.
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: But what I've learned now is now I explain to them what comes with that.
• 45:40
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 45:42
  Speaker 1: One of the biggest things that I would make sure that they know is that the higher they move up, the lonelier they're going to be.
• 45:48
  Speaker 1: Dude.
• 45:49
  Speaker 1: Say it again yes, the higher you move up, the lonelier you're going to be.
• 45:56
  Speaker 1: The harder it is to find people like you.
• 45:58
  Speaker 1: And so when you connect with someone like I'm going to be honest with you the first time I talked with you, the first time I heard your messages, your videos, your podcasts, I was like, shoot, I felt like you were speaking directly to me, challenges that you were talking about.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: I'm like that's exactly what I'm going through.
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: I think I've told you this a few times.
• 46:21
  Speaker 1: I've never seen it from that perspective.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: Why, but how do we buy them in?
• 46:27
  Speaker 1: Explain to them what comes with the package.
• 46:31
  Speaker 1: You get a new people, you get a new scratch, you get a new teammate.
• 46:35
  Speaker 1: You might even lose a period that might not want be working with you.
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: No more, just don't know.
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: You don't know.
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: But be prepared to lose people, be prepared to lose friends and stuff.
• 46:45
  Speaker 1: The other one is you're going to be making sacrifice, so you have to prepare your family.
• 46:51
  Speaker 1: You cannot make a decision, a career decision, without having your family support.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: That's the work that you can do.
• 46:59
  Speaker 1: It will break you or it will break your marriage.
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: You know how.
• 47:03
  Speaker 1: I know that it happened to me.
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: I didn't know what to take with it until I was in it and I was spending more time on the job site.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: I would leave the house.
• 47:14
  Speaker 1: My ex-wife and my boys would leave.
• 47:17
  Speaker 1: I would come back home and they would leave.
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: I would leave the house.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: My wife, my ex-wife and my boys would leave.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: I would come back home.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: They were asleep.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: I would work all weekend, all because I had to grow.
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but I never shared it with my family.
• 47:28
  Speaker 1: Wow, the boys were babies, they wouldn't not share, but I could have shared it with her.
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: Yeah, when the opportunity came a few years ago to be part of a startup company before Carpool, I sat them down, I sat my wife and I sat our kid.
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, they were young, like about nine and six.
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, yeah, and I was talking to them like they were adults and I explained to them that I was going to be absent, that I was going to be working a long hour.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: I gave them the whole expectation of what was going to happen.
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: Everything is fine.
• 48:11
  Speaker 1: Mom and I are okay.
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: We have goals but for everybody's good, our goal is for me to move up so that we can be in a position where we can buy a home, and I asked them who wants their own room?
• 48:26
  Speaker 1: Remember, I asked for it, they were all in and everybody was in.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: I had to work Like right now I let them know from 1.30 to whatever time I'm not going to be available.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah, so whenever you have the support from the people that are going to be there with you and you explain to them what comes with it, worst case scenario.
• 48:54
  Speaker 2: Yes, yes.
• 48:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean then maybe that's it, that's it.
• 49:00
  Speaker 1: You got somebody there.
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: They will still all of a sudden drop.
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: We can't control what they go through in life.
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: We have to understand it's not just.
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: They're alive.
• 49:10
  Speaker 1: We don't know what people people are going through.
• 49:13
  Speaker 1: And that's one of the things that I explain to people is don't judge people by cover.
• 49:18
  Speaker 1: Don't ever think that you know what they're going through.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: Reach out to them.
• 49:23
  Speaker 1: Leave work aside and reach out, because a lot of times we spend more time with our teammates at work than we do with our own family.
• 49:34
  Speaker 1: So look out for each other and how you're doing with our own family, so looked up for each other.
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: And how are you doing?
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I'm doing okay, but yeah.
• 49:42
  Speaker 1: But going back to the question or the comment, yeah, like I've had people just quit too, and then later on I find out your expectations were unrealistic for me.
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: I'm like, what do you mean?
• 49:52
  Speaker 1: I've never had something from you that I cannot do or you cannot do, and all I wanted was for you to try.
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: They don't even try and they quit.
• 50:01
  Speaker 1: But what can you do?
• 50:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I think that's expert, expert advice, mario, that I never did Talk to your family.
• 50:12
  Speaker 2: If you're going to take something on big your support network, the people that you go home to you got to let them know what, because everybody thinks of all the highlights.
• 50:25
  Speaker 2: Right, oh, we're going to have dinners and we're going to get a new, like all the fun.
• 50:29
  Speaker 2: But no, no, no, no.
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: It also means that you might see me for an hour a day, maybe, and when you see me, I'm going to be working.
• 50:37
  Speaker 2: You got to have those conversations I never have.
• 50:41
  Speaker 2: Or the way I did was like oh, yeah, yeah, I'm going to take this new position, this new job, and I'm going to be more busy than I am now.
• 50:48
  Speaker 2: That was no.
• 50:51
  Speaker 2: I was going to be completely obsessed with the new job and do whatever it takes to be excellent at it as fast as I can, and what that meant was I was going to minimize the amount of time and energy I gave anything else.
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: But I never said that.
• 51:10
  Speaker 2: And, just like you, they say well, no, see you later.
• 51:14
  Speaker 2: You got to go.
• 51:15
  Speaker 2: You're never here anyway.
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, I did it again.
• 51:19
  Speaker 2: Now, on the other side, for the ones that can't, I want to have my favorite saying when the guys were like what are your plans?
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: What do you see?
• 51:27
  Speaker 2: What do you want to accomplish?
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: Where do you want to go?
• 51:29
  Speaker 2: So I can help you get there?
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: Well, I want your job.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: Awesome.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: I've always asked this what are you prepared to sacrifice, and what do you mean?
• 51:41
  Speaker 2: You want my job?
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: Take it Right, please take it, but what are you prepared to sacrifice?
• 51:49
  Speaker 2: I worked when I was an apprentice, when I was a journeyman, when I was a foreman, when I was a superintendent, off the clock to learn the things that I learned and get good at the things that I got good at, and that's sacrifice.
• 52:12
  Speaker 2: I'm not saying you have to do this stuff off the clock.
• 52:13
  Speaker 2: What I'm saying is there's going to be sacrifice and, like you said, the further you elevate in the organization, the lonelier it gets.
• 52:19
  Speaker 2: Like, people stop liking me, and I was.
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: It's hard to like me to begin with, especially back then, but all of a sudden I had no peers to share my experience with, to complain to, because everybody reported to me.
• 52:34
  Speaker 2: And then my peers they were competitive too and they were waiting to, trying to find out, to get ahead to me.
• 52:36
  Speaker 2: And then my peers they were competitive too, and they were waiting to try to find how to get ahead of me.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: So I couldn't let them see my weakness and my pain and my strength.
• 52:44
  Speaker 2: It's lonely man.
• 52:47
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I remember when we had our first talk.
• 52:51
  Speaker 1: I remember you asked me a question, yeah, and he talked to me.
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: You asked me a question, yeah, and he stuck to me.
• 52:59
  Speaker 1: You asked me a question, or it was said how many times do you hear you're doing a good job, yep, so the higher you go up, the less you hear that.
• 53:10
  Speaker 1: And when you do, you're like what Are you?
• 53:15
  Speaker 1: Okay, I'm doing it, thank you.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: I'm not reacting, I'm like thank you.
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I'm like what the cry?
• 53:20
  Speaker 1: I forgot how to react to it because I'm the one giving the compliment now and people want my approval, people want oh, it is lonely.
• 53:33
  Speaker 1: And I remember that you asked me what was the last time, yeah, and I was like good question, it's been a while.
• 53:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, no, 100%, Because you know when your phone rings it's because somebody's calling to complain or somebody has a problem.
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: Nobody's calling to say, hey, Mario, nice work, man, your team out here is kicking butt.
• 53:58
  Speaker 2: I just want to let you know y'all are doing awesome.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: Nobody does that.
• 54:01
  Speaker 2: They're calling because they got a problem or because they're pissed off at you, and that's it.
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: So back to the sacrifice.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: The mental toughness becomes more and more critical and the self-care.
• 54:12
  Speaker 2: Can you take care of yourself?
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: How do you recuperate and rejuvenate so that you can go back again without the thank yous and the attaboys and the good job?
• 54:22
  Speaker 2: It's just do your job.
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: That's what it is.
• 54:24
  Speaker 2: It's difficult.
• 54:26
  Speaker 1: And going back to the support, I think the biggest support I have is my wife.
• 54:33
  Speaker 1: Wow, at the end of the day, that's who I'm going with at night, that's what I'm going with tonight, that's what I'm going to spend a few hours before I go to bed and having her support.
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: It's big because that's really who you can vent on yep, yep.
• 54:50
  Speaker 1: And it's a lot easier when you can vent to your spouse, partner, boyfriend, whatever situation people are, it's a lot easier to be able to talk about problems that you dealt with during the day and they understand, they're familiar with what you're saying, because what I've realized is that there is more likely than not that a lot of times our teammates, our peers or our mentors they don't have that.
• 55:20
  Speaker 1: They rely on their buddies or someone else, but you can't always be on the front line.
• 55:26
  Speaker 1: What's better than having your spouse or partner for life to be able to vent, be able to talk, and a lot of times I'm not even going to say a lot of times, I'm going to be straight up.
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: She holds me accountable, oh man, yeah, of time.
• 55:36
  Speaker 1: I'm not even going to say a lot of time, but I'm going to be straight up.
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: She held me accountable.
• 55:40
  Speaker 1: Oh man, yeah, she snapped me out of it when I'm starting to fire up, oh.
• 55:47
  Speaker 2: I'm going to quit.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 55:48
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 55:49
  Speaker 1: I'm done, I'm tired.
• 55:50
  Speaker 1: And she was not being accurate.
• 55:52
  Speaker 1: I think it helps a lot to have that support.
• 55:55
  Speaker 1: I highly advise, if you're going to get into a career, if you're going to pursue something, do the study of what it takes, because a lot of times we don't and I think we, because I did it, I know what comes with that.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: Yes, get your battle by end, get your support by end, and that's a big deal, yeah, yeah man, a big one.
• 56:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, man, powerful, brother man, you brought so much wisdom.
• 56:23
  Speaker 2: I'm always amazed by people that are very accomplished in their career, that do more for the community and are in a healthy relationship with another human being.
• 56:37
  Speaker 2: Because that's the one thing I have not figured out how to do the career community.
• 56:42
  Speaker 2: I'm good that that relationship stuff that's so good man, I need.
• 56:46
  Speaker 2: I need some.
• 56:47
  Speaker 2: I need some more work.
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, now I do understand the value of having a support network and having people that I can vent to and that I can be what how should we say it?
• 57:02
  Speaker 2: Not weak, but that I can be fragile with and let them know I'm scared, I'm nervous, I'm worried, I feel like I'm fake, like that I can open up to completely.
• 57:12
  Speaker 2: I have a lot of those people in my life.
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: I'm fortunate from that perspective, but like a lot sharing my space with another.
• 57:20
  Speaker 2: I ain't got no mario.
• 57:21
  Speaker 2: I don't have any people in my house.
• 57:23
  Speaker 2: I ain't got no plants and I ain't got no pets.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: I ain't got nothing.
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: It's just me wow, I respect you.
• 57:31
  Speaker 2: I don't know how you yeah, it's one of my exes.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: She.
• 57:36
  Speaker 2: What did she say?
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: She says, jesse, you're going to love this.
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: She said, jesse, I think you're finally going to find somebody that you can spend the rest of your life with.
• 57:47
  Speaker 2: And I said, oh man, like I'm thinking it's because I'm more mature now, right, like I got my stuff together.
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: I said is that because I'm like, more accomplished and more relaxed?
• 57:58
  Speaker 2: I got my stuff together?
• 57:59
  Speaker 2: Is it because I'm more accomplished and more relaxed?
• 58:01
  Speaker 2: She said, no, it's because of all the progress they've made with AI, they're going to be able to program somebody to get put up with all your crap.
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: Maybe I give respect to my wife all the time.
• 58:14
  Speaker 1: Trust me, I'm sure it's not easy.
• 58:16
  Speaker 1: I had been to, yeah.
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 58:22
  Speaker 1: That must have hurt.
• 58:23
  Speaker 1: I want to ask why would she write that comment yeah?
• 58:30
  Speaker 2: We give each other a lot of help.
• 58:32
  Speaker 2: The good thing is we were together.
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: We weren't together and we still get along, but it was.
• 58:36
  Speaker 2: I have an obsessive mind and so when I get hooked on something, I completely abandoned everything else, and it's been a thing that I've done since, since I was a kid.
• 58:49
  Speaker 2: I just I don't mean to be ugly about it, but I just don't like I just don't want to do anything else except for the one thing, and that's not okay in a relationship.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: That's not okay.
• 59:00
  Speaker 2: To just leave them hanging there with no explanation, no heads up, no timeline.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: I'm like I'm just going to be working on it until I master it.
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: What does that mean?
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: How long it means?
• 59:13
  Speaker 2: Until I master it me alone.
• 59:14
  Speaker 2: That's not okay.
• 59:16
  Speaker 2: That's the way I am.
• 59:17
  Speaker 2: Until I master it me alone, that's not okay.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: That's the way I am.
• 59:20
  Speaker 2: But I do have amazing people in my life that check in on me and I stay connected.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: But main point is the advice that you gave of having someone in your life, having the conversation with them, helping them understand and get on board with hey, this is a big thing.
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: This isn't just going to affect me, this is going to affect us, the unit back to the unity.
• 59:41
  Speaker 2: This is going to affect the entire unit.
• 59:43
  Speaker 2: This is what we need to be prepared for.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Are we willing to go there?
• 59:47
  Speaker 2: Huge man, if I'm going to have to, if I ever get in a relationship, Mario, I'm going to go back and listen to this conversation over and over and over to remind me to have those conversations you have to.
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 1: From the very get-go you got to let them know what they're getting themselves into.
• 1:00:06
  Speaker 1: That way you know if that's the person or not.
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 2: Right, 100%.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 2: Oh man, mario, this was amazing.
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 2: You've been generous with your time and you're a very deep thinker.
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: You're very committed to growing people, to challenging yourself, so I'm excited about your answer to the final question Are you ready?
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 1: Not really, but bring it on.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 2: All right, here it is.
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: What is the promise you are intended to be?
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 1: That's a tough one.
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: That's not really just one.
• 1:00:39
  Speaker 1: That's a tough one.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: That's not really just one.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 1: It's a tough one to answer.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 1: I think I'm still trying to figure that out myself, but I think I have an idea.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: I think I'm intended to be here and what I tell people is if I can leave this world once I'm gone and I will be able to impact one life through my wisdom to me.
• 1:01:09
  Speaker 1: I did my job.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because, like I shared with you when we first talked, there's nothing that can drive the feeling of running into someone that you coached as a little kid and then you run into them.
• 1:01:25
  Speaker 1: You don't even recognize them anymore because they're full-grown beard everything, with kids and wife and Coach Mario.
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: He's like.
• 1:01:33
  Speaker 1: I'm staring at them, like okay, we obviously coached them before.
• 1:01:39
  Speaker 1: And then get introduced to their family, coach Mario, so many years later for them to be able to call me Coach Mario, when I feel like at that point we're like on the same level because we're both grown men.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's it.
• 1:01:53
  Speaker 1: That's it.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 1: That's amazing.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: But right now, that's what I tell people.
• 1:01:59
  Speaker 1: What am I going to do with them?
• 1:02:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean, I'm going to take it with me when I go.
• 1:02:05
  Speaker 1: Why not share?
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: Why not help people take time?
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: I tell my kids, if you listen to my advice you know I'm not listening to my advice but if you listen to my advice, I guarantee you I will save you years of your time.
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: Now in my career, in my area, in my field, I can say that very confidently If you follow my advice, I will guarantee you not only to get you where you want to be, but save you years of stress of fear and everything.
• 1:02:42
  Speaker 1: So I think that's it.
• 1:02:44
  Speaker 1: I don't know if I answered that correctly.
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 2: Beautiful answer.
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 2: I'm not surprised at all, Like you say, if I could just help one person, if I could just give my advice, because I can't take it with me.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: Share my wisdom to save people years of learning the hard way.
• 1:03:02
  Speaker 2: That's beautiful, man.
• 1:03:03
  Speaker 2: I think that's our whole purpose here on this world is to share with others the gifts that we have.
• 1:03:10
  Speaker 2: Period Period oh man, Did you have?
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: fun.
• 1:03:15
  Speaker 1: It's always fun with you, man.
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: It's refreshing every time we get to talk.