Latest / The D.L. Hughley Show / DLHS Hour 2 | Do You Put Your Spouse or Children First

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DLHS Hour 2 | Do You Put Your Spouse or Children First · The D.L. Hughley Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What do you think, Junius, what do you think? Well,
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: logic would dictate if you don't take care of the
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: person that takes care of the family, then the child's
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: gonna suffer anyway. So logic would say that you would
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: take care of your spouse first. Yeah, crumbs love second. Yeah.
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: I think logic and families don't often coincide together.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: Oh no, don't always coincide together. I should say, But.
• 0:25
  Speaker 3: I what we're gonna say saying Well, I was going
• 0:28
  Speaker 3: to say, I think it depends on the scenario. Like
• 0:29
  Speaker 3: if we're just talking about basic things like eating and
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: things like that, of course I would serve my spouse first.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: But I'm not gonna lie.
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: If I were in a life in death situation, life
• 0:40
  Speaker 3: or death situation, and my kids were in trouble, I'm
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: probably gonna feel like, this dude right here can find
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: for himself. We got to save these babies, you know,
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: like if the boat were singing or if the car
• 0:50
  Speaker 3: was on fire.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Kids, As long as he can think the same thing,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: That's why I got a problem with it.
• 0:56
  Speaker 3: If my kids are five years old and I'm not
• 0:59
  Speaker 3: going to count on them being able to save themselves,
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: I'm going to save my children.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: At which point would you go everybody, every man for
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: yourself five and not five, right, but twenty.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, twenty years old, you should be Yeah, let's see,
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: we got you.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Should you should have taken you shouldn't taken bad them
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: swimming lessons I was giving you.
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: Nobody told you that always gonna be caveats.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: I mean, if your kid is a special need, of
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: course you're gonna take, you know, but you know, in a.
• 1:26
  Speaker 1: Regular situation, spouse first.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, and when they say put you know,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: put your mask on first, and then help to I
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: put the mask on the kid with the most potential, you.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: Know what I mean.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: I mean, just like you know, Miss Jackson was like,
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: why Michael not? Why not eat up Marlin?
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: At least Marlin?
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Like come on, see, I'm sure she would have been said,
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: but the family could go. We could, we could, We
• 1:55
  Speaker 2: could lose a Randy, but we can't get on you
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: know what I mean, not Michael, all right, Grandy's not
• 2:03
  Speaker 2: gonna get a three part movies.
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: That's not gonna happen. Well, no, I am not the question.
• 2:11
  Speaker 1: We're asking ladies and gentlemen, who comes first your husband
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: as well? Take a listen to this ideo.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: So you're telling me you want me to spend nine
• 2:17
  Speaker 4: months growing a human inside my body. You want me
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: to have them ripped out of me, okay, you want
• 2:23
  Speaker 4: me to go through the post part of depression many times.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: Okay.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: You want me to spend eighteen years raising that child. Okay,
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: been in those eighteen years. You want me to not
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: put them above the person next to me who's doing it.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: They never sat right with me growing up. They never
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: sat right with me because, in my opinion, another grown
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: adults should be able to care for another grown adult.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: My love for my partner is conditional my love for
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  Speaker 4: my children, it's not. I'm sorry, but at no point
• 2:49
  Speaker 4: in my prioritizing this man wanting to have cuddles with
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: me at night over my kids getting what they need.
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: Is that controversial or is that the way that we
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: should be doing this. The mouth is a mouthings mouth
• 3:02
  Speaker 4: is a mouthing.
• 3:04
  Speaker 2: So what do you think? Uh, you know, I think
• 3:06
  Speaker 2: that it You know, Jess, you allude to this earlier.
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: The ages of the children are important, the situation of
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: the family, so that you know the condition.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Of the kids is important.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: You know, learning disability, infant child not even a feel
• 3:21
  Speaker 2: for themselves.
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: But serving you know what I mean, Daddy, like that
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: chicken you can serve these kids can't.
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: Nobody eat nothing, no way, Tomatoes, Kenny cheese, Kenny lettuce,
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: Kenny jalpos. So you know, if you serve your husband first,
• 3:42
  Speaker 2: that kind of food, you want them to go.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: That's the way you do. Yeah, I think you know
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: you allude to this.
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  Speaker 2: It does depend on the station, the situation, you know,
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: predicament that they find themselves in that kind of thing.
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: But just that you know, regular thing, you know, yeah, general, yeah,
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: you know at point of fact, you.
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: Know, you gotta say stuff like that, when you who
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: do you put first? Your spouse or your husband, or
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: your spouse or your child. We oppose that question to you.
• 4:13
  Speaker 6: You said, so, my thing would be my children are
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  Speaker 6: there with me.
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  Speaker 1: My children are always mine.
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  Speaker 6: The man is not promised, I mean, the Bible said
• 4:22
  Speaker 6: the man you're spouse for becomfort. However, I do disgreet
• 4:26
  Speaker 6: that my children.
• 4:27
  Speaker 7: Will come first.
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  Speaker 6: It's a matter of you know, if the kids are wrong,
• 4:32
  Speaker 6: me and me and my fause you know different. But
• 4:35
  Speaker 6: if it's something that the fault is I'm wrong, it
• 4:37
  Speaker 6: will be my children. It is a situation if my
• 4:40
  Speaker 6: husband will come first or my kids.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: I would say it depends on how old the child is.
• 4:45
  Speaker 8: I think ultimately you want to appreciate your tail if
• 4:49
  Speaker 8: your child should.
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: Come before your spouse.
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  Speaker 8: In fact, I think your child should be, you know,
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  Speaker 8: holly taken care of and catered to if the child
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  Speaker 8: is young. But I think when the child gets of age,
• 4:59
  Speaker 8: you can take care of himself, could.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Not be tated to.
• 5:02
  Speaker 8: I think your spouse would definitely come first.
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  Speaker 9: Actually, in my family, my mom and dad stepdad put
• 5:10
  Speaker 9: each other first, and then I was the complete of
• 5:13
  Speaker 9: that triangle, so they came together.
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  Speaker 7: When it came to me. It was always family minded oriented.
• 5:21
  Speaker 7: So he put her first, she put them first, and
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  Speaker 7: I was the other end of that triangle. But it
• 5:26
  Speaker 7: was never a question of who did what for whom.
• 5:29
  Speaker 7: It was a family unit and it was discussed. But
• 5:32
  Speaker 7: per the Bible, it says your spouse is supposed to
• 5:35
  Speaker 7: be number one. I'm knowing a lot of women that
• 5:37
  Speaker 7: lost their husbands because they put the kids first. The
• 5:40
  Speaker 7: kids grow up and go off on their own, and
• 5:42
  Speaker 7: you start feeling that when I guess they're on the
• 5:46
  Speaker 7: way to junior high and they started choosing their friends.
• 5:49
  Speaker 7: And then as they get older and started dating, and
• 5:51
  Speaker 7: then your your maid is sitting there tolding this m
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  Speaker 7: But per the Bible, your spouse is supposed to be first,
• 5:58
  Speaker 7: not your mother, not your father. When you get married,
• 6:02
  Speaker 7: your foulse is number one. And that's what my mom
• 6:05
  Speaker 7: and my stepdad did, and they had a beautiful marriage,
• 6:09
  Speaker 7: and I was happy for her that she found her mate.
• 6:13
  Speaker 7: They were even only yokes.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: All about the kids, foods. You take care of your kids,
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: You have them, caught them in this world. You take
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: care of your kids. Okay, Okay, I ain't letting my
• 6:24
  Speaker 5: kids sink. Okay, is don't matter. I'm taking care of
• 6:28
  Speaker 5: the kids. As long as they respectful, they do what
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: I tell them to do. I'm taking care of the kids.
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: I've been here. I've been here alone with them, so
• 6:35
  Speaker 5: you know we been here low with them. Kids come first.
• 6:40
  Speaker 6: If I'm sharing DNA with someone, I'm gonna hold them first,
• 6:44
  Speaker 6: because when I get old and this man has died
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  Speaker 6: on me, I gotta trust them kids to take care
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  Speaker 6: of me.
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  Speaker 7: They're not about to leave me hungry in derry.
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  Speaker 5: Because I put him before them while.
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  Speaker 10: They were growing up now my DNA.
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  Speaker 5: No, not at all.
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  Speaker 4: You're telling me you want me to spend nine months
• 7:01
  Speaker 4: growing a human inside my body. You want me to
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: have them ripped out of me, okay, you want me
• 7:06
  Speaker 4: to go through the most part of depression many times.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Okay.
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  Speaker 4: You want me to spend eighteen years raising that child. Okay,
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: been in those eighteen years. You want me to not
• 7:16
  Speaker 4: put them above the person next to me who's doing it.
• 7:19
  Speaker 4: Then never sat right with me growing up. It never
• 7:22
  Speaker 4: sat right with me because, in my opinion, another grown
• 7:25
  Speaker 4: adult should be able to care for another grown adult.
• 7:27
  Speaker 4: My love for my partner is conditional, my love for
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: my children it's not. I'm sorry, but at no point
• 7:32
  Speaker 4: in my prioritizing this man wanting to have cuddles with
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: me at night over my kids getting what they need.
• 7:40
  Speaker 4: Is that controversial or is that the way that we
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: should be doing this?
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: The math is a mathing. Messing math is a mathing.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: Who do you put first? We pose that question to.
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  Speaker 10: You said, actually, child neglect is a jailable effen. Spousal
• 7:57
  Speaker 10: neglect is not. It might thing like that too. It
• 8:00
  Speaker 10: should be to the spouse that is being neglected. But again,
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  Speaker 10: neglecting child your child, no matter what the circumstances. That's
• 8:10
  Speaker 10: that's reprehensible and you should go to jail for that.
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  Speaker 10: But I'm not gonna neglect my child for my spouse
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  Speaker 10: because again that's probably a felony. So no, I will
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  Speaker 10: always put my child before my spouse.
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  Speaker 8: A man is supposed to protect the entire family, So
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  Speaker 8: it's the woman job to grab the kids, and the
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  Speaker 8: man's child has to grab everybody, including the.
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: Wife and the kids.
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  Speaker 8: Because the man's protected. Wife don't have to worry about
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  Speaker 8: the man because once again.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: He's the protector.
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  Speaker 7: He's gonna protect yourself.
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  Speaker 1: Therefore, it doesn't matter what the woman do.
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  Speaker 8: As long as she grab the kids and the man
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  Speaker 8: grabs the whole family, they're good.
• 8:47
  Speaker 11: My kids come first no matter what. It's a but
• 8:51
  Speaker 11: it's a thing about respecting boundaries. If I have a husband,
• 8:54
  Speaker 11: and if my husband is God, my husband and me
• 8:57
  Speaker 11: in that symbol, so it's a respect thing. But my
• 9:00
  Speaker 11: kids do come first and anything, they really do. I
• 9:03
  Speaker 11: think I always been like that, but when I was married,
• 9:06
  Speaker 11: still is, but he's not currently with us. But when
• 9:11
  Speaker 11: I got married, it took me about maybe a year
• 9:13
  Speaker 11: to put him before my children. That means like, let
• 9:16
  Speaker 11: him be displaying my children, let him understand how to
• 9:18
  Speaker 11: my children seek my chredren and also seek back and
• 9:21
  Speaker 11: be a stud of himself or my teachers, why my
• 9:24
  Speaker 11: children are.
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  Speaker 5: Leaders and teachers.
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  Speaker 11: He wanted me to put him first on every single thing,
• 9:30
  Speaker 11: like we want my kids to be last. So it
• 9:32
  Speaker 11: was kind of hard, but overall affliquation, my kids come first.
• 9:36
  Speaker 12: You should absolutely put your spouse first. Your children leave
• 9:39
  Speaker 12: you after the eighteen years I've been married thirty five years.
• 9:44
  Speaker 12: I have three grown children who left suff you still
• 9:47
  Speaker 12: spend every weekend with us, but you should absolutely put
• 9:50
  Speaker 12: your spouse first.
• 9:52
  Speaker 13: I'm trying to understand why women are making babies with
• 9:56
  Speaker 13: men who.
• 9:57
  Speaker 9: Won't also put the child first.
• 10:00
  Speaker 6: If you're not both putting your children.
• 10:02
  Speaker 13: First, what are you?
• 10:03
  Speaker 11: What are you doing?
• 10:04
  Speaker 13: So? I think she's right that she puts the child first,
• 10:08
  Speaker 13: but I wouldn't be making babies with a man who
• 10:12
  Speaker 13: didn't put my child first as well, because you're supposed.
• 10:15
  Speaker 14: To be as one, So.
• 10:17
  Speaker 6: The whole question doesn't She just makes no sense.
• 10:20
  Speaker 11: To me.
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: That boy Tray is here to let us know what
• 10:28
  Speaker 2: life is like as an HBCU graduate. Well, my life
• 10:31
  Speaker 2: after the yard.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I love.
• 10:51
  Speaker 14: What's good y'all?
• 10:51
  Speaker 15: This is that boy tray back again, one another episode
• 10:54
  Speaker 15: of my life after the yard, And so I looked
• 10:56
  Speaker 15: at an HBCU graduates life. Man, it is really y'all
• 11:00
  Speaker 15: hitting me now, like it should have hit me after
• 11:02
  Speaker 15: I walked that stage, but it really didn't hit me
• 11:06
  Speaker 15: until I packed up my senior year apartment, cleaned that
• 11:11
  Speaker 15: John out, loaded up my car, and I'm getting ready
• 11:14
  Speaker 15: to hit that road and heading back to Dubtless for
• 11:16
  Speaker 15: a quick little second. But yeah, man, it's kind of
• 11:21
  Speaker 15: stupid how the emotions hit me.
• 11:23
  Speaker 14: I didn't expect them to hit me like that. And
• 11:25
  Speaker 14: I was like, bamn, you know an RN no registered nurse.
• 11:30
  Speaker 15: Like I didn't shed no teas or nothing, but damn,
• 11:33
  Speaker 15: I was saying.
• 11:34
  Speaker 14: I was like, a whole lot of great things happened
• 11:36
  Speaker 14: to me in this apartment. I've had some of.
• 11:39
  Speaker 15: The happiest feelings in my life in this apartment, and
• 11:43
  Speaker 15: on the flip side, some of them you know the BS.
• 11:46
  Speaker 14: Times, But dude, you need that duality in life.
• 11:51
  Speaker 15: Overall, it was an experience and it's gonna stick with
• 11:54
  Speaker 15: me for the rest of my life no matter what
• 11:56
  Speaker 15: I'm connected to this little area where haven't made town,
• 12:00
  Speaker 15: that land.
• 12:00
  Speaker 14: Off the north Side Drive.
• 12:02
  Speaker 15: Shoot, I can pinpoint some of the most monumental events
• 12:07
  Speaker 15: of my life in that apartment, even getting ready for
• 12:11
  Speaker 15: homecoming and like turning up on some calm stuff like that,
• 12:15
  Speaker 15: to the night leading up to my graduation. That right there,
• 12:19
  Speaker 15: that was a feeling that I don't think I can
• 12:21
  Speaker 15: replicate with anything else. I mean, outside of these way
• 12:26
  Speaker 15: bigger and better things I'm about to achieve. Man, But
• 12:29
  Speaker 15: packing that John up damn near by myself. Man, that
• 12:32
  Speaker 15: was Tiger ring, had suitcases on suitcases and begs on
• 12:36
  Speaker 15: begs I had dragged down to my two door car.
• 12:41
  Speaker 14: There is no room in my car to be doing
• 12:43
  Speaker 14: all this.
• 12:44
  Speaker 15: My car is filled to the brim right now and
• 12:46
  Speaker 15: I have to hit the thirteen hour drive and I'm getting.
• 12:49
  Speaker 14: My mind right for that. But yeah, got my stuff
• 12:53
  Speaker 14: packed up, about to head to the crib. Get on
• 12:56
  Speaker 14: with the rest of my life. It's real life.
• 12:58
  Speaker 15: Now is big time to buckle down and do something,
• 13:02
  Speaker 15: and That's exactly what I'm gonna do.
• 13:04
  Speaker 14: Anyways, That's all I got for you all today.
• 13:06
  Speaker 15: The next time there's been that boy tray and this
• 13:09
  Speaker 15: has been my life after we are, and so I
• 13:11
  Speaker 15: look at HBCU graduate.
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: Slightly thank you. Tray