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Narcissists expect you to stay single after the breakup · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, Beautiful people.
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  Lee Hammock, your favorite self aware narcissist here.
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  And today we're going to be talking about how narcissists
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  don't expect you to move on quick.
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  They expect you to be sad as hell and broken after the
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  relationship ends. If you're new here, my name is
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  Lee Hammock. I'm a clinically diagnosed
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  narcissist and welcome to another episode of The
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  Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks.
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  Yes, cut. Contrary to popular belief,
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  narcissists do think about you after the relationship ends.
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  Well, that might not be contrary.
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  A lot of people asking me that question.
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  That's the answer to a question a lot of people ask, you know,
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  do narcissists ever think about you?
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  When the relationship ends, the narcissists miss you.
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  Do they regret? Do they regret what they've
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  done? It's always a focus on what the
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  narcissist is thinking and things of that nature.
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  So I'm just telling you right now that most narcissists,
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  right, think that they are going to be the best thing that you've
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  ever had in your damn life. I don't care how many people
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  you've been with. I don't care what your body
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  count is. They think that they're going to
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  be the best that you ever had, even though they are super
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  insecure. This is something that they're
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  telling themselves. It doesn't mean it doesn't make
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  it true, y'all, It doesn't make it true because they think it,
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  it's just they this is something that narcissists tell
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  themselves, we tell ourselves to make us feel better.
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  It's it's like putting a put, putting a damn pacifier in our
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  mouths, right? This Is Us put in a pacifier in
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  our mouths because we want to feel better about the situation.
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  We want to feel better about ourselves.
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  We want to feel better about the decision that we that we that
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  we've made. So This is why I tell people
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  like, if you dealt with a narcissist, they don't expect
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  you to move on quickly. They don't they, yeah, they
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  expect you to be broken. They expect you to be just
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  sullen and just thinking about them all the time.
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  And this mess and this video right here is inspired by my, by
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  what am I, by my. I can't talk straight today,
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  y'all? Narcissistic robot reset team
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  slowing down, powering back up. My man Josh inspired this video.
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  I told him I was going to do it the other day.
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  But yeah, they don't expect you to move on, y'all.
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  They expect you to be broken when the relationship ends.
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  They expect because they think that they're the best you're
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  ever going to get, the best that you're ever going to have.
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  Not just in the band room, not just when you're clapping
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  cheeks, but just in life. The best looking, the the most
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  money, the funniest, the most charismatic, the funnest person
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  to be around. They think that they're the best
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  you're ever going to get. So they think that you are going
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  to be experiencing this loss for a long time.
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  They're expecting that. And yo, let me say this because
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  I, I just realized where this is going.
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  I just realized what people are going to think when I make this
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  video. I'm not encouraging you to move
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  on fast. That's why at the beginning I
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  say it's a lot of focus on what the narcissist thinks and not
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  what you actually was actually going on.
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  You don't have to move on fast. Nobody cares what the narcissist
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  thinks when you get out of the relationship.
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  Let's just, let's just, let's just put it all out there.
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  We don't care. You don't care what the
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  narcissist is thinking. Yeah, they might actually be.
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  The truth is they might actually be the best that you've had.
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  It doesn't mean that it's the they're the best you're going to
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  get. That isn't your last
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  relationship, although it might make you afraid of dating again
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  for a while, although it make make it might make you a little
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  apprehensive about getting back out there.
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  Yeah, that can be true as well, right.
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  That could absolutely be true. It could make you more like now
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  I the date, the dating pool is a swamp and I am not Swamp Thing,
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  right? It can make you not want to get
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  back out there. It can make you want to just sit
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  in the house and chill and beep to yourself and that's fine
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  y'all? That's when you know you're
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  ready again. How do I know Lee Lee Lee, help
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  me. How do I know when I'm ready to
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  date again? When you are OK with being by
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  yourself, when you are fine being by yourself doing things
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  by yourself, when you are OK, when you are okey dokey OK, but
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  just chilling and doing and being just fun by yourself to
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  yourself with yourself. That's when you know that you
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  are moving in the right direction because that self love
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  is so needed, that self love is so required.
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  That self love is exactly what you need to have going on.
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  Self love is the best love. It's the most inspiring love.
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  It's the most powerful love. You need it.
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  You need it. When you are OK with being by
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  yourself, that's when you can just think of a maybe I am ready
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  to move on. Maybe, maybe it's time, you
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  know, maybe it's time for us to go ahead and move on.
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  Maybe it's time when you trust yourself, when you're OK with
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  being by yourself, that's when you know you're ready.
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  But narcissists, they don't. Narcissists move on fast.
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  Let's just say most of them will not all of them will move on
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  fast. Some of them will be by
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  themselves. Some of them will just lose
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  their damn minds and go crazy on their own.
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  But there's a lot of narcissists out there that will move on
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  quickly because they want you to feel the pain of like, hey,
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  look, look how fast I replaced you.
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  Look, I replaced you so fast, which shows you, which should
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  show you that how worthless you are.
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  I replace you so fast, which should make you feel bad about
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  you should feel bad about yourself, but how fast I
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  replaced you, But that's just shows this little y'all see how
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  you see what I just say right there.
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  There's a wee bit of projection going on there on there, isn't
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  it? Because they think that you
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  should feel bad because they moved on fast?
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  Because they would feel bad if you moved on fast.
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  They would feel bad if they see you all in about and you're
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  happy. They would of course, you know,
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  they would make them feel bad. But narcissists try to pacify
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  themselves. We are always trying to put a
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  pacifier in our mouths in some way, shape or form.
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  And what I mean by trying to pacify ourselves, I mean we're
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  going to tell ourselves even if you see, if we see you out happy
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  and single by yourself, smiling, having the time of your life,
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  even if we see you out there, we're going to we're going to
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  conjure up that you're not happy that you're faking it.
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  You're faking it till you make it.
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  You really miss me and you're just faking that you're happy to
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  just try to get over me, right? You're faking that you're happy
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  that you just try to get back out there, right?
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  You're faking that you're happy that you're really broken down
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  about me because I can't take the fact that you are happy
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  without me. I can't take the fact that you
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  can move on so quickly that other people will want you, that
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  you're going to be like somebody else is going to get you.
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  I can't take this, so I have to pacify myself by lying to
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  myself. Narcissus lied to themselves all
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  the time. Y'all think you you think you're
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  the only person that narcissist lied to?
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  Hell no. They absolutely lie to
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  themselves. I talked a lot about myself all
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  the time. I hype myself up.
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  You the best, you the best, you the best.
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  I might not be the best. It becomes like it becomes like
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  this weird type of mantra that a lot of narcissists have that
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  just put you put it in a different direction for you
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  right there. Narcissistic people are
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  extremely self-serve and manipulative, horrible people.
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  A lot of times that are out to get you and they try to leave
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  you broken. They just like when they if they
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  discard, if they viciously discard you, they are trying to
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  leave you broken. They want to leave you broken,
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  right? They want to leave you so
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  broken, so hurt, so just to horrible feeling and whatnot,
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  right? They want to leave you broken so
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  they don't think, so you won't move on fast because even if
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  they move on fast, they're going to be thinking about you moving
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  on fast. And that's going to hurt their
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  little wee ego, the little baby ego, the little baby ego, the
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  little baby ego. You can rock the bed.
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  It's going to hurt their ego. So they don't want you moving on
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  fast. Why the hell would I want you
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  moving on fast when it's going to affect me in a negative way?
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  So I have to tell myself, I have to convince myself.
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  You mean that I'm the best you're going to get that You've
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  not moved on. You can't move on quickly.
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  Nobody else is going to want you.
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  I need to convince you of that. So if I'm trying to break you
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  down at the end of the relationship, I'm going to try
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  to convince you that nobody else is going to want you.
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  Nobody else is going to want you.
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  You know, the little, the little engine that could.
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  I mean, y'all here that y'all, I don't know what age you are.
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  I'm, I'm aging myself. I might be 39 and yo, I might be
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  39 in a month. Oh my God, my last year, my 30s.
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  What the hell? Oh my goodness.
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  Y'all ought to see a narcissistic collapse on camera.
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  How? How about the collapse?
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  No, I was joking, but now I'm about to be 39 for real.
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  But that's where it goes though. Y'all Like they, I, I can't take
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  it so I have to put you down. That's why you.
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  You when y'all. Or when the narcissist is
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  breaking up with you and leaving you at the end of relationship.
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  That's why they say horrible, mean, evil stuff to you.
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  Because they want to. They want to try to guarantee to
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  themselves that nobody else is going to want you for at least a
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  little while so I can at least move on for real.
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  I can at least hop into this new relationship and feel better
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  about myself so I can at least do that, right?
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  That's the way it goes. So that's what I'm trying to
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  convince y'all, that a lot of toxic narcissistic people are
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  out here trying to do damage to you, are out here trying to hurt
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  you, are out here trying to harm you.
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  That's what they want to do. That's what they're trying to
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  do. That's what they're going to do.
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  You got to watch out for toxic, narcissistic people.
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  This is the mindset that a lot of them have.
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  They want to leave you broken because they don't expect you to
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  move on fast because that will destroy them.
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  Now I take you to move on fast when I say so.
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  Yeah, let me flip it up. I am telling you to move on
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  fast. I'm telling you to move on fast
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  and fall in love with yourself. I'm not telling you to go ahead
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  and move on to try. You know the quickest way to get
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  over someone is to get under, underneath someone else or
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  behind someone else. No, the quickest way to get over
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  someone is to love yourself more.
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  And just like that person didn't deserve me.
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  I remember being broken and torn down and just ripped the shreds
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  by my my toxic ex, which is why I have a lot of experience
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  dealing with narcissistic toxic people.
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  When I when I finally got off my toxic ex, I realized that she
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  didn't deserve me. It took a while to get to that
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  point. It took a lot of self love.
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  It took a lot of self inner, inner work.
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  It took a lot of compassion to a lot of therapy.
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  But you get to that point where you realize that they don't
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  deserve you. No matter what they're doing, no
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  matter who they're with, no matter how they're living their
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  life, they didn't deserve you. You are one of one.
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  Nobody else is out there like you.
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  Even if you're an identical twin or identical triplet, nobody
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  else is like you. There's no one like you.
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  They didn't deserve you. You are winning.
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  Let's keep winning together y'all and let's go by when I say
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  keep winning. Let's keep winning together.
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  Make sure you subscribe to the channel check out my support
• 11:11
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• 11:17
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• 11:23
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• 11:30
  shop.mentalillness.net y'all and I will see y'all later.
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  My voice. Thank you so much for making it
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  to the end of my video. I am extremely grateful for you.
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  Have no idea? If you haven't already, make
• 11:42
  sure you go ahead and subscribe to the channel.
• 11:43
  Help us reach more people and click on the screen to watch
• 11:45
  another video or to browse through another playlist.
• 11:48
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  and my support groups to help you heal and understand what
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  you've been through. Thank you so much again.
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  I will see you in the next video.
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  Peace.