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Beyond Being Nice: The Psychology of People Pleasing · insyed; cozy psychology

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  When was the last time you said yes? Not to other
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  people, but to yourself. You have to remember,
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  just like the light bulb in your ceiling or in
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  your desk lamp, the longer you stay on, the quicker
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  you'll burn out. And just like a light, people
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  pleasing only works until the room forgets you're
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  gone. Until no one notices that you're not shining
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  anymore. Psychologists associate people pleasing
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  to sociotropy, a desire to relate to others
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  and fear and rejection. Growing up, some may
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  even feel afraid to say no, that when it comes
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  to fight or flight, they choose to fawn because
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  they think approval can buy safety. We may even
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  fall into unmitigated communion where we obsess
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  over others even if our own house was on fire.
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  If not controlled, it doesn't come off as virtue.
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  but an act of self -negligence. And research
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  has shown that chronic people -pleasing has been
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  linked to social anxiety and even depression.
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  And even in work, people -pleasing to gain approval
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  only leads to mental and physical burnout, lowering
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  productivity. Isn't it poignant how wanting to
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  make others happy can only result in the destruction
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  of our own world? So how do you know if you're
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  people -pleasing or just being polite? To better
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  align with who you are and who you want to be,
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  you can ask yourself these questions. Am I helping
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  because I want to? Or because I want them to
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  like me? Or even better, can I say no without
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  feeling guilty? So until we see each other again
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  next week, try and say no. See how letting go
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  the weight of disappointing others only makes
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  you feel lighter and be able to make you go further.
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  Thank you and goodbye.