Latest / Sober Readings / Toward Emotional Freedom
Transcript
- Scott Hayes: Hey, welcome back to Sober Readings. Good morning. Today is Thursday, the twentieth of August. Let's get started today with the Serenity Prayer. God, grant us the serenity to accept the things we cannot change, courage to change the things we can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Today's reading from Daily Reflections Toward Emotional Freedom. Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation could yield more satisfying and valuable rewards than this one. And that's from twelve steps and twelve traditions page eighty. Willingness is a peculiar thing for me in that over a period of time it seems to come first with awareness, but then with a feeling of discomfort, making me want to take some action. As I reflected on taking the eighth step, my willingness to make amends to others came as a desire for forgiveness of others and myself. I felt forgiveness toward others after I became aware of my part in the difficulties of relationships. I wanted to feel the peace and serenity described in the promises. From working the first seven steps, I became aware of whom I had harmed and that I had been my own worst enemy. In order to restore my relationships with my fellow human beings, I knew I would have to change. I wanted to learn to live in harmony with myself and others so that I could also live in emotional freedom. The beginning of the end of my isolation, from my fellows and from God, Came when I wrote my eighth step list. Today's reading from twenty four hours a day. August twenty, AA thought for the day. When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness of the presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith. When we see others solve their problems by simple reliance upon some spirit of the universe, we have to stop doubting the power of God. Our ideas did not work, but the God idea does. Deep down in every man, woman, and child, Is the fundamental idea of God. Faith in a power greater than ourselves and miraculous demonstrations of that power in our lives are facts as old as the human race. Am I willing to rely on the spirit of the universe? The meditation for the day. You should not dwell too much on the mistakes, faults, and failures of the past. Be done with shame and remorse and contempt for yourself. With God's help, develop a new self-respect. Unless you respect yourself, others will not respect you. You ran a race, you stumbled and fell, you have risen again, and now you press on toward the goal of a better life. Do not stay to examine the spot where you fell. Only feel sorry for the delay, the short-sightedness that prevented you from seeing the real goal sooner. today's prayer for the day. I pray that I may not look back. I pray that I may keep picking myself up and making a fresh start each day. Today's reading from Day by Day Daily Reflections for Recovering Addicts. Growing slowly. Our higher power has a divine plan for each of us. It may take a while for us to understand our place in it, however. We may not know what we are supposed to do, we only know what we're not to do. We may feel empty at times. If during these painfully slow times we can have faith that things will change, we can learn to endure the uncertainty with less fear. During such times, it may seem to us that nothing is happening. But just as mountains finally emerged from the restless terrain, so will growth emerge in our lives after a period of stress. Growth can emerge only if we are patient. Is my faith strong enough for slow and steady growth? Higher power, help me to be patient and faithful in this time of unsteady change and steady growth. And the line in today's reading for us to finish is Today I will strengthen my faith by and you fill in the rest. I wanted to share something with you that I heard at my morning meeting today, and we were reading from the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, Step Three, and as we were going around sharing, this older woman shared wholehearted cooperation with the unexpected. And she was talking about living life on life's terms, but that phrase really stuck with me. Wholehearted cooperation with the unexpected. It can have a powerful meaning in sobriety. Recovery rarely unfolds exactly the way we expect it to. Life still brings disappointment, loss, changes in relationships, financial problems, loneliness, stress, and circumstances we simply can't control. In act of addiction, my instinct might have been to resist those things, become angry about them or try to escape. How they made me feel. Sobriety asks something different of me. Wholehearted cooperation doesn't mean I have to like what's happening. It means accepting that it is happening and asking myself, given the reality in front of me, how can I respond in a way that protects my sobriety? There's also something deeper in the word wholehearted. It suggests more than reluctantly accepting life because I have no other choice. It means becoming willing to stop fighting reality and participate in whatever comes next. That connects closely with the serenity prayer, accepting what I can't change, finding the courage to change what I can, and developing the wisdom to know the difference. So there's three action words there accepting, finding, and developing. Some of the unexpected things that happen in sobriety may even lead me somewhere I would never have chosen for myself. The challenge is trusting the process enough to remain open to that possibility. For me, this idea can also serve as a reminder that I don't have to understand everything that happens in order to stay sober through it. I just have to cooperate with the day I've been given instead of insisting on the day I thought I was supposed to have. Sometimes wholehearted cooperation with the unexpected simply means saying, this isn't what I wanted, but this is where I am. What is the next right thing I can do? In recovery, that next right thing, calling someone, going to a meeting, praying, asking for help, or simply not picking up that first drink, can make all the difference in the world between sobriety and another relapse. But I also wanted to share that the original phrase is actually wholehearted cooperation with the inevitable. And that comes from William James. And you might have heard of him, he's the American philosopher and psychologist who had a significant influence on early Alcoholics Anonymous thinking. And there's an important difference between the two versions. Wholehearted cooperation with the unexpected is about willingness, meeting whatever life brings without immediately trying to control, escape, or numb it. While wholehearted cooperation with the inevitable is about acceptance. Meeting what I cannot change without fighting reality. And for sobriety, both are valuable. In fact, there's a line that might fit here really well in recovery. Sobriety has required me to stop demanding that life happen on my terms and start learning how to live life on life's terms. And so that's going to do it for today's episode of Sober Readings. I hope you enjoyed it. If you did, help me pass along the message by clicking the like and the share button. And also if you'd like to be a guest reader on sober readings, I'd love to have you. Just send me an email at sober readings with Scott at gmail dot com. And if you'd like to drop a dollar in today's virtual donation basket, just go to my website, soberreadings.com, scroll down a little ways, and you'll see a donate button. So again, thank you so much for listening today. Stay sober, keep reading, and I'll catch you in the next episode. Until then, take care of yourselves and each other, and remember, just for today, don't drink, go to a meeting. And keep coming back. Have a great day, everyone, and as my friend Larry says, best day ever.