Latest / The Mental Healness Podcast / 4 different ways a narcissist ENDS A RELATIONSHIP

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4 different ways a narcissist ENDS A RELATIONSHIP · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on, beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be talking about how narcissists in
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  relationships, how some narcissists in their
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  relationships that they're currently in.
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a clinically diagnosed narcissist and welcome to
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  another episode of The Narcissist Code.
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  Boom. Welcome back, welcome back,
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  welcome back folks. Yes, yes, yes.
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  This is going to be a, I'm not sure how many methods I'm going
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  to just go over and whatnot, but I'm going to be, you know, we're
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  going to dig, we're going to dig deeper today.
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  But yeah, if y'all don't know my show, the Waving the Red Flag
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  show is coming back pretty soon. Y'all Waving the Red Flag Show
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  is coming back pretty soon when we started it.
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  We want to start doing it in the mornings here pretty soon in my
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  Facebook soon as I get my Facebook page back from being
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  unhacked. Y'all would know that as well.
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  But yes, narcissistic people like to end relationships, you
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  know. But how do they go about doing
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  it? How do narcissists, how do some
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  narcissists end the relationships that they're in?
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  How, how well the 1st way is they just, they just break up
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  with you out of nowhere. Sometimes, sometimes it's just
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  seemingly out of nowhere. They're just like, hey, look,
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  things are not going the way they should need to go.
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  I need some time apart. I'm maybe we should take some
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  time apart. Maybe we should go our separate
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  way, blah, blah, blah. Boo Boo, Boo BBB.
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  They'll just clearly they will absolutely just break up with
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  you seemingly out of nowhere, right?
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  It'll just, it's kind of like the, the shock, you know, it's
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  kind of like the shock and awe method.
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  Like they will break up, break up with you and be shocking with
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  it. You know, it's like a shocking
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  way that they'll break up with you like, hey, we need to go out
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  separate. But it's it doesn't Philly feel
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  like a breakup sometimes because of the way they they go about
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  doing it, but they will end the relationship just like that.
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  They will just tell you straight to your face.
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  Now, sometimes it doesn't go this way.
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  I mean, sometimes it's not going to be straight to your face.
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  It'll be subtle and things like that.
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  And people are going to say different things to end it.
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  But yeah, they'll do it straight to your face.
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  They'll just come to you and say, hey, look, it's over.
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  We're done. Things are not working out and
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  shocking. Are you like drop it on you like
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  a damn like a like a nuclear weapon.
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  Just drop it on you and don't don't give you any time to
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  prepare like it's out of like yeah, it literally is literally
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  out of nowhere. They don't give you time to prep
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  for it. No matter how long y'all been
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  together is literally out of nowhere.
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  They they'll come to ask you for a separation, ask you for a
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  divorce out of nowhere. Dizzly no signs.
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  No, you like you. You they might have told you
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  that they love you the day before, but then today it's
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  over. I love you so much.
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  I can't wait till our future together.
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  And then the next neighbor go with you and you're like, what
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  the what the hell happened? You confused as hell.
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  You don't know what happened. You don't know what went on,
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  right? You're just, you're just out of
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  this world confused and it messes with your mind.
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  It really, really does. It's one of those things that
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  they keep doing and they'll keep doing it because they feel
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  empowered to do it. They feel like this is part of
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  it. This is part of the space.
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  And just like I'm going to say this as well, just because they
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  break up with you, it doesn't mean that they'll leave you
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  alone. I always say this, just because
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  they break up with you, it doesn't mean that they won't
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  come back. You know, sometimes they'll just
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  separate it, tell you they need some time apart and go take
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  their time apart and try to come back, try to come back to you.
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  You know, that's going to be the most, I feel like one of the
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  most common ways that they break up with you, you know, how they
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  end, how they would end the relationship.
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  Another way you know, would be to simply ghost you.
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  Some of them will ghost you. Like you'll never hear from
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  them, never hear from them again.
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  Like y'all will be going good one day things will be decent.
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  Y'all might have clapped some cheeks the night before.
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  And then also you try to call them.
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  There's no response. Try to text them, no response.
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  Like they, they are damn near like, it's like they, it's
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  nearly, it's almost like they don't exist, right?
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  They have disappeared on you completely and they don't exist
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  to you anymore because you can't get in kind of any kind of
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  contact with them. They've completely vanished out
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  of the face of the earth to you and you're like, what the hell
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  happened? You, you again in this scenario,
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  you're super confused because when they ghost you, they might
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  block you on everything. They might block you so you
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  can't contact them, right? They'll get in the way so you
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  can't respond to them. They'll start doing this type of
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  stuff so you can't reach out to them.
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  They'll ghost you, block the hell out of you and then
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  disappear like like they didn't exist.
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  And the crazy thing is y'all I've heard people talk to me in
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  my one on ones and my zooms. Like this happens more times
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  than a lot of people realize. Like when they ghost you That
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  and it doesn't matter how long y'all been together they will
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  like literally ghost you and not break up with you.
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  Like they'll it's a breakup of course but they'll ghost you
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  sometimes. Like even if you're married
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  they'll ghost. I hear people getting ghosted by
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  their husbands and their wives. Their spouse will ghost them out
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  of nowhere. You know it literally you, you
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  can't get a contact. It's like they're dead.
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  It's them. They're like they're dead
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  because you can't contact them anymore.
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  You can't. They don't speak to you anymore.
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  Like they blocked you everywhere.
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  Their friends and family members might have blocked you
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  everywhere or pretend that they don't know what happened or we
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  haven't talked to them, you know, but they're alive and
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  well. You find out, you somehow, you
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  find out that the Grapevine or something like that, that
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  they're alive and well. They just ghosted you.
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  And yes, they will do this if you have children with them,
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  some of them will disappear. Even if you have children with
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  them and not care. Some narcissists don't care.
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  They just leave you to they leave you the kind of foot the
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  bill. It's kind of like dining and
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  dashing. They leave you to foot the bill.
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  You know, like they go to the bathroom, they don't come back.
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  It's kind of like going to the back in the day.
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  They're going to get a pack of smokes and then they don't come
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  back for 20 years, going to get going to get a gallon of milk
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  and then they don't pop up. They don't come back for a
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  decade or whatnot. So this happens a lot of times.
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  Y'all, They absolutely will ghost the hell out of you.
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  They'll bounce on you and you won't ever hear from them again.
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  It's it's a very tumultuous trying time, right?
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  It does this type of stuff. So that's what I'm just telling
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  y'all. When y'all keep doing this type
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  of stuff, it just, you know what I mean?
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  It does, it really, really does. So I want y'all, I really do
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  want y'all to win. And it's like telling people if
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  it's not on you, if they ghost you, you know, it really isn't
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  like if they ghost you, a lot of times they ghost you because
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  they're cowards. You know, they don't have the
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  testicular or you know, whatever.
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  The other part is fortitude, the emotional fortitude or just the
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  bravery and courage to just bring up with you.
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  They just would rather just ghost you and just let you
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  figure it out on your own. They know why they ghosted you.
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  They just won't. They just won't come to you and
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  tell you why they ghosted you. They know exactly why they why
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  they did it and they, and some of them don't care.
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  They just go shoot. And if your friends and family
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  find out, they just act like they don't know what to talk
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  about old things. Just you know, you know, things
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  were not working out, blah, blah, blah.
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  Things are different. Times have changed and whatever,
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  they'll make some excuse, they'll go shoot.
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  But like if somebody hunts them down and finds out where they
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  are, they still would just act like act oblivious, like they
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  don't know where it actually happened.
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  I've heard this, this situation happened to y'all when they they
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  ghost to a person with like they had three or four kids with
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  them, ghost to them moved to a different, different place and
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  he started a new fellow somewhere else.
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  It's just I like that old family didn't exist.
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  You know, even when child support started getting they
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  tried to fight child support getting garnished out to pay
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  wages in Alamo. They were like, wait, what am I
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  playing child support for? I don't have a family.
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  They try to run away from their responsibilities.
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  Another reason y'all another way that they will, you know, break
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  up with you is they'll leave you for somebody else.
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  This is one of the most hurtful ones right there.
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  I know ghosting is horrible and this is also hurtful as well.
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  Hurtful as hell. They'll break up with you.
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  You know what I mean? They will end their relationship
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  with you because they have someone else.
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  They'll just, and some of them won't tell you this can kind of
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  mix into the first part of it, right?
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  They'll break up with you and just, hey, things aren't going
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  out the way I want them to go. We're not as connected as we
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  used to be. Things have changed.
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  Times have changed. You've changed, I've changed,
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  we've grown apart. And the whole time they have
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  someone else, they will absolutely leave you with
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  someone else. Also.
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  This is part of ghosting. They will ghost you if they have
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  someone else. They also ghost you to start a
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  new family. They'll ghost you to to shock
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  you, you know, and not all the times are you in full-fledged
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  relationships with people like this.
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  Y'all. Sometimes you'll be in what they
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  refer to as a situation ship. You'll be in a situation ship
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  with this person. You mean like you'll be in a
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  complete situation ship with this person and they'll keep
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  messing with you. They just will like they'll
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  they'll just break your situation ship off.
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  You're a long distance relationship for someone else.
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  And I get a lot of people who ask me are they happy with the
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  new supply out? We can't like are they going to
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  be happy with the new supply originally?
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  A lot of times the answer to the question is yes.
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  Are they going to treat the new supply better?
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  A lot of times the initial answer to the question is going
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  to be yes. I tell people, I try to tell
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  people, I try to teach people to focus more on how they treated
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  you and may perhaps why you may may have forgiven them for doing
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  something horrible to you, because that helps you heal in
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  the long run. You know, that type of stuff
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  helps you heal. That type of stuff helps you
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  grow. Not focusing on how they're
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  treating the other person and blaming yourself for why they
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  left or chose somebody else over you, because that's going to
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  that can be debilitating. Y'all, you know, if they leave
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  for somebody else, it doesn't make make it about you.
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  A lot of narcissists suffer from chronic boredom.
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  They just like new people. They like to be in new
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  relationships. Some of them are addicted to the
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  love bombing phase and they just can't keep love bombing the same
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  person. That becomes boring to them.
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  So they just just find somebody else to love bomb.
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  It doesn't have anything to do with you.
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  It's just like the supply has run out, you know, the supply
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  that they get from you doesn't feel the same anymore.
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  It's changed. So they choose to go find
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  somebody else to love bomb, right?
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  They do this all the time. It just happens, y'all?
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  It really, really just, it really does happen this way, you
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  know, And are there other ways that narcissists can end
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  relationships? Yes.
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  Some of them will do it in formal ways.
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  Like they won't actually break up with you.
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  They'll just start communicating with you less.
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  You know, I went over three ways, but these are just bonus
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  ways, y'all. They'll just start communicating
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  with you less. You know, they'll just make you
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  be the ones to break up with them.
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  But it's going to be #4 right here.
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  Let's say this is number 4, the reverse breakup.
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  They'll make you break up with them.
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  How do they end the relationship?
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  They'll just start treating you badly and make you be the one to
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  end it. The reverse break up, the
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  reverse discard, they'll make you be the one to end it.
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  They'll just stop treating you well.
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  They'll just disconnect from you and start treating you a certain
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  type of way. As long as you start behaving a
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  certain type of way towards them, they'll just disconnect
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  from you, treat you a certain type of way and just hurt your
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  feelings to the point where you just like me, I'm down with them
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  and you break up with them. But technically, they broke up
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  with you because they disconnected from you.
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  In their minds, they broke up with you.
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  They just don't have the courage or the strength or the bravery
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  to break up with you. They just want you to do it.
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  So they have an excuse to play the victim in this method right
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  here. They somehow victimize
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  themselves and just like, hey, I'm the victim here.
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  And you see how I'm the victim? I'm the victim here, not them
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  me. I'm the victim.
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  That's how they play it, y'all? That's literally how they play
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  it. They will absolutely or 100%
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  play the victim to situations that they create.
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  They created a situation where you, you had to break up with
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  them because of how they were treating you.
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  And then when you broke up with them somehow, some way, shape or
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  form, they end up being the victim in this circumstance.
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  They end up being the victim in this situation and you're like,
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  what the hell happened? And then guess what happens?
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  They can ghost you, they can move on quickly to somebody
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  else. They have these excuses because
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  you broke it with them. They don't have to wait around
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  because what? Why I'm going to wait around
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  when I'm I know I'm not wanted, I'm not wanted here.
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  Why would I wait around for somebody who doesn't want to be
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  with me? You see how it goes right there,
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  The reverse breakup, the reverse discard happens.
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  So there's four ways the narcissist can end relationships
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  right there. Y'all, if you're having trouble
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  getting over a break up with a narcissist, you know I do my
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  one-on-one coaching over Zoom. I also have my support groups
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  and my courses available at courses.mentalillness.net or you
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  can find a link in my description of every video and
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  other people as well. So they got so much.
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  It's always child motherhood. This is a piece.
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  Thank you so much for making it to the end of my video.
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  I am extremely grateful for you. Have no idea.
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  If you haven't already, make sure you go ahead and subscribe
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  to the channel. Helps reach more people and
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  click on the screen to watch another video or to browse to
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  another playlist. There's also a link on the
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  screen to check out my courses and my support groups to help
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  you heal and understand what you've been through.
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  Thank you so much again. I will see you in the next
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  video. Peace.