Latest / Dits & Dahs / find me at the kids' table
Transcript
- Sue: As I record this on Easter Monday, I'm reflecting about yesterday's Easter dinner spent with neighbors who were the hosts, welcoming their extended family and a few of us local neighbors to join in the feast. And I'm talking about maybe 30 people, enough for certain level of chaos of conversations to be going on. And I mean that in the best of ways. Everybody's been very convivial and all different ages, rather joyous time. And it's of interest to me because as a neighbor coming into this family celebratory dinner, I'm welcomed, but nonetheless, we're in the minority of those because we don't have a blood connection. I don't know why that should make a difference, but my point is, is that the interactions that you have with the people that are attending this family event, for the most part, are minimal. And that's not to say that you're off in a corner not interacting with people. I'm always chatting with people. But it's not the kind of conversation that you knowingly would anticipate having if it were a group of six or eight, you know, where you feel that the conversation between those smaller group of people will carry you, provide you with more energy to live off of for a while. Maybe that's just my weird view on it, but I seem to remember, while I remember the big parties my husband and I used to host as being very memorable, the idea is that we were doing it from the hosting perspective. I know from people that saw us afterward that they were very grateful to be included, but I suspect that on some level, when you're dealing with a blood-related clan coming together and you have a few non-blood... attendees you have this sort of schism and mindset as I'm chatting about. You find yourself in those situations and it makes you uncomfortable. That's probably an indication that you haven't released yourself from your fear and ego for the sake that you're not making joy, peace, calm and happiness, unconditional love, no matter where you're at. I guess about 30 years ago, I was the... girlfriend in a large extended family, kind of the size that I was part of yesterday. And it was all family, married, in-laws, et cetera. I was the outsider. Because I was emotionally attached to one of them, I was welcomed. Welcomed in the manner that you have people say, well, at least you're a Christian. Or it's just the kind of take on people's categorization of other people that is interesting to me. And I reflect back on yesterday's event where our hosts were extremely hospitable. There was a tremendous amount of food and the ongoing repeated scenarios I always seem to get from the time I was a child in my own family at holiday gatherings, because I was the youngest one in the room. I was the one seated at the card table and I was always the one that got to straddle the leg. And maybe, maybe some of you have a similar understanding of. that position I was in. Well, you know, as I enjoyed my meal yesterday with my friends, where was I seated? Yes. That's right. As ever. I think there must be an illuminated sign around my halo, so to speak, that says, put her at the kids' table and make sure she sits on the corner. That's where she likes it best. Kind of neon sign. I take that event as a sign that I have remained consistent in my place. in the universe throughout the time that I've been on earth and that's fine. But it's a reminder for me that remaining positive and having a sense of humor and keeping things in balance calmly and peacefully creates the opportunity for joy and happiness to come in more easily. Why not? Confirmation with a woodpecker. The other positive about being a non-family member at a predominantly family meal is that as the outsider, you have within your write as that outsider to stay only as long as you wish to stay. You're not family, which having a get out card when I get invited to these do's is a beautiful thing. I don't always use it, but I'm grateful that I have that as an option. Nor am I the last person standing in those kind of groups. I don't want to show up the family. Confirmation with my watch. It's okay to do it with non-family gatherings. but I also know in the past four years with all of that I've experienced in terms of spiritual warfare and things and getting to know myself infinitely better than before my husband's death, going into any situation now doesn't contain any apprehension or fear because I know that I'll connect with somebody there. Connecting with myself and understanding that this is a first moment and it might be a last moment, so better get it while you can get it kind of vibe is the way to go. For me, that's the sort of understanding that when you experience life events such as the loss of a spouse or similar, start expressing gratitude for each day much more sincerely and appreciatively and that when you're in situations where you're a non-family member celebrating, it's a beautiful thing to be welcomed into that community. Confirmation with a woodpecker as I'm walking back to the house receiving texts from my host that's delivered leftovers from yesterday. Wow, grateful. I mean, he was cooking for 35 people and they all seemed to show up with their appetites. I mean, how much food did he cook? ⁓ my gosh. I'll bet he made double, just so that everybody could have a platter to take home. You see, somebody who is acting by acting out in love, by giving of themselves, keeping people fed is a beautiful thing. I highly recommend eating and I highly recommend helping others share on the experience. And thank you for sharing this experience. ⁓ listening to this video. I appreciate you.