Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / dealing with insecurity

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dealing with insecurity · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

• 0:00
  This is a poem. I wrote about insecurity, I
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  pluck at Perfection over my pale and perfect complexion, my
• 0:08
  slightly crooked teeth. The don't smile the way I want
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  them to my stomach. The bloats blatantly in boson
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  security. My arms that hang too low in my
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  nose. That isn't quite straight.
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  I picked myself apart like a puzzle.
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  The pieces, don't fit together perfectly in.
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  That drives me crazy. I think that this would drive
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  anyone crazy. Hey.
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  There and welcome back to another episode of feel.
• 0:32
  Your feelings with me. Ethan Jewel.
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  This is a podcast. I started all about mental
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  health, and mental health awareness.
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  Now I'm not a doctor, a psychiatrist or professional in
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  the mental health industry whatsoever.
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  I'm just a normal guy who was felt some big feelings is super
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  passionate about mental health and wants to start the
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  conversation. So, thank you so much for being
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  here. And, as always, let's feel some
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  feelings. So, I decided to start this
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  episode a little bit different than normal.
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  I started by reading a poem. I wrote about insecurity, I
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  wrote it on a day that I really just wasn't feeling that
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  confident about myself and I just recently rediscovered, this
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  poem earlier today and I thought to myself wow this is a very
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  strong emotion. I was feeling at the time,
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  insecurity, lack of confidence. It's something that plagues a
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  lot of people and it's something that has plagued me a lot.
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  As you can tell from that foam. I kind of pick myself apart as I
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  say in the poem, I pick myself apart like a puzzle because the
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  pieces Don't fit together perfectly.
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  I hold myself in a very high standard when it comes to
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  confidence and when it comes to insecurities about myself, if
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  things aren't perfect, I pick myself apart.
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  And so, I found this poem and I was thinking, why is that?
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  Why do I hold myself to such a high standard?
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  Why am I so willing to pick apart myself, my body, my face,
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  and my personality? And I realized a large amount of
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  that stems from social media, Now don't get me wrong, I'm not
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  going to start ranting about how awful social media is.
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  I love social media, it's given me a platform and I think it's a
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  really powerful and amazing tool to be able to communicate with
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  others. However we need to acknowledge
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  its pitfalls and one of social medias biggest downsides is how
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  it affects confidence in this has been proven time and time
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  again insecurity and lack of self-confidence is a difficult
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  thing to wrestle with it can completely Lately destroy the
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  way that we view ourselves. It can destroy the way that we
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  communicate with others. It can destroy the way that we
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  present ourselves to the world. It can even affect our
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  willingness to go out into the world.
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  If our self-confidence is in high, and if our insecurity is
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  rampant, it can be difficult to function day-to-day.
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  I know, whenever I'm feeling insecure, it's all I can think
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  about, if I'm with friends, I'm thinking about my insecurities,
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  if I'm trying to get work done, I'm worried that they're getting
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  in the And that people are noticing frankly, it drives me
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  crazy and a lot of it has to do with social media.
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  Let's talk about that. So how exactly does social media
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  impact our confidence and make us feel more insecure?
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  Well, this is a topic I've briefly touched on in another
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  podcast episode. That wasn't about insecurity.
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  And that's the fact that on social media, we are seeing
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  other people's highlight reels and that means we are seeing the
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  Aleut best photos that they look amazing in.
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  We're seeing the absolute peak of these people's lives and
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  we're seeing photos that they painstakingly chose and edited
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  and mold over in order to represent them best.
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  I know that I do this every single time I posted on my
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  Instagram at Jewel, boy underscore, I picked the
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  absolute best photo from probably 30 or 40 pictures.
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  If you see a picture on my Instagram, I can guarantee that
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  I spent a lot of time picking it out as the absolute Best photo
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  from that photo shoot. And that's a big problem,
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  because we end up comparing these peoples highlight reels
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  and the best of the best to our everyday, it is an unfair
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  standard for us to expect, Perfection from ourselves and to
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  compare ourselves day-to-day to other peoples highlight reels.
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  There's also just the fact that a lot of people who are famous
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  on social media, their level of looks, and Beauty just isn't
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  realistic, they edit or they get Surgery, and that's difficult
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  for us to live up to and of course, there's nothing wrong
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  with that. They have every right to edit
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  their photos and they have every right to choose how they look of
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  course, all of us do. But when we begin to compare
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  ourselves to that, that is when insecurity arises and that is
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  simply unfair to us. And these highlight reels don't
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  just affect our insecurities physically.
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  I know I often feel insecure about my own life.
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  My life frankly is pretty boring, I sit around at home.
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  A lot of the times I record these podcast episodes, I make
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  music life can get really slow at times and I see other people
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  living these lavish incredible lives on my screen.
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  And I think, wow, I will never obtain that they're living, such
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  a better life than me. I'm wasting my time and I end up
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  spiraling down this whole of questioning, my self-worth, all
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  over, somebody's social media posts, and this is not an
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  isolated issue a Huffington Post article found that in Estimated
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  sixty percent of young adults feel that social media affects
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  their confidence in that it causes insecurity.
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  This is a widespread problem. You most likely have experienced
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  it and it's difficult. Social media is a big part of
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  our society and yet it makes us tear ourselves down almost every
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  single day. So what can we do?
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  One of the best things we can do is remember the fact that these
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  posts are Our peoples highlight reels, we have to remember that.
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  That is so important. It is unfair to compare your
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  day-to-day to somebody's highlight reel.
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  That is incredibly unfair to you.
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  You need to acknowledge the fact that these posts by celebrities
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  or people with lots of followers or even just your friends, or
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  most likely pictures that were painstakingly picked.
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  There is a good chance that some of them are edited and could be
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  an unrealistic representation. And once again I want to say
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  there's nothing wrong Wrong with these people, editing their
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  photos. There's nothing wrong with that
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  at all. I edit my photos a lot of the
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  times, however it becomes a problem when we compare
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  ourselves to these edited photos, at the end of the day,
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  comparison is what kills confidence?
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  Comparison is what causes insecurity.
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  So please recognize you are enough.
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  It doesn't matter what these posts contain, it doesn't matter
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  how other people look, it doesn't matter how celebrities
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  look, it doesn't matter that their life seems more exciting,
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  none of that matters. What matters is that you are
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  enough? Exactly how you are.
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  And you don't need to compare yourselves to these other
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  people. It's unfair, it's so unfair for
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  you to obsess over the, my new details of how you look and what
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  your life is like in comparison to these peoples highlight
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  reels. If you use social media, you
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  need to understand that that is unfair, you need to be kinder to
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  yourself, you need to be more gentle, and you need to allow
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  yourself to exist on social media.
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  With minimal comparison, that's not something that's easy to do.
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  But I want you to have that awareness.
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  The poem that I read at the beginning of this episode was
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  written during a time where I was feeling very insecure and it
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  is an awful feeling because I pluck at Perfection and I look
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  at every single inch of me and I think that I am not enough and I
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  don't want anyone to have to feel that way and so much of
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  that is caused by social media and comparison so please don't
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  pick yourself apart like a puzzle.
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  Because you are a human and humans are meant to have flaws
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  in. Humans are meant to exist,
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  without Perfection. If all of us were perfect.
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  And if all of us were up to certain standards than life,
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  truly would be a whole lot more boring.
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  So, allow yourself to exist and don't drive yourself.
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  Crazy over comparison to unrealistic social media
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  standards. You are enough.
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  That's going to wrap it up for today's episode.
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  Thank you so much for joining me.
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  If you need help feeling your feelings, please go check out my
• 8:34
  music on all platforms, under the name of Ethan Jewel, shoot
• 8:37
  me a message on my Instagram at Jewel, boy underscore, and let
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  me know what you thought about today's episode.
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  Also, I'm on tour right now. So go to my website, Ethan
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  Jewel.com and see if I'm playing in a city near you.
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  So thank you so much for being here.
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  Thank you for understanding that.
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  Social media is an unrealistic expectation to hold yourself to
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  and as always We thank you for feeling your feelings.
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  I'll see you next time. We thank you for feeling your
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  feelings. I'll see you next time.