Latest / A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast / Talks to Dylan Rees about his choice of The Stranger: Eye of the Beholder

Transcript

Talks to Dylan Rees about his choice of The Stranger: Eye of the Beholder · A Hamster With a Blunt Penknife - a Doctor Who Commentary podcast

• 0:00
  A little bit for remember, you're not a stranger.
• 0:04
  I'm not a stranger. To be kind and to be wise.
• 0:09
  You're not a stranger. I'm not a stranger.
• 0:17
  We are no strangers. Welcome back to our Hamster with
• 0:24
  a blunt pen knife, The Stranger Commentary Podcast.
• 0:29
  We've reached a gripping climax. It's the finale, the final
• 0:34
  stranger film. Or you're going to grip at the
• 0:36
  climax. But I'm a bit scared.
• 0:40
  I fear that by the end of this next 90 minutes, you and me may
• 0:43
  be surrounded by evil zombies. We might be.
• 0:46
  One of us will be forced to kill the other.
• 0:49
  And the other one will be shagging Meta.
• 0:53
  What they? The company.
• 0:55
  OK. Here we are.
• 0:58
  It is the last stranger video. And it's an extended length,
• 1:02
  that's right. Why was that?
• 1:03
  Well, they've done all these hour long ones.
• 1:05
  Well, I'll tell you when we get in.
• 1:08
  Should we get the 90 minutes? We've got 90 minutes to get
• 1:12
  through. We've got some time to fill and
• 1:14
  then I'll tell you all about bill bags extended length.
• 1:20
  Should I count you in in 321? Of.
• 1:26
  My life was so exciting. Go, go, go.
• 1:29
  OK. We're in now.
• 1:31
  Answer the question. So you'll see on the screen
• 1:34
  before you WLC pictures, you're a new Co producer run by a man
• 1:39
  called Andy Grant, who was who did some of the early myth
• 1:44
  makers and used to provide audio visual rigs for conventions back
• 1:48
  in the day. And what happened was Andy had a
• 1:51
  company making various videos and doing corporate stuff and
• 1:55
  things like that. And he provided some of the
• 1:57
  finance for this. And what Bill bags and indeed
• 2:02
  Andy Grant really wanted to do was make a Cyberman film, a 90
• 2:05
  minute Cyberman film that they got partially the the rights to
• 2:09
  their different. They commissioned some scripts,
• 2:12
  actual Cybermen, actual Cybermen, not Cybermen.
• 2:16
  So this was Bill Bags, his way of sort of testing what it was
• 2:20
  like to shoot a 90 minute film, how long it took, how he coped
• 2:23
  with it. So he made this stranger film.
• 2:25
  90 minutes. And he called in his old pal
• 2:28
  Nicholas Briggs to write this book.
• 2:29
  Together, old Briggs. Is now the de facto stranger
• 2:32
  riser the. Showrunner, if you will.
• 2:34
  Exactly. Well.
• 2:36
  What did you say? He was a frustrated filmmaker.
• 2:38
  Yeah, I mean Briggs, Briggs would say that about himself in
• 2:42
  the Haston on many occasions. So this was released on, it was
• 2:48
  actually released on 2 videos that you bought separately, 245
• 2:51
  minute videos of it initially, Yeah, because and so was the
• 2:56
  first Winterborne one as well. So was.
• 3:00
  It. Really.
• 3:01
  Yeah. And then they were re released
• 3:03
  on a single one when he realised actually perhaps they shouldn't.
• 3:07
  It reminds me of back in the day when you used to get the chunky
• 3:10
  two tape 6 parts but. These were like, you could go
• 3:14
  into the shop and buy Part 2 but not Part 1 and perhaps you
• 3:17
  wouldn't have known. And he was like, well, it cost
• 3:20
  me twice as much money so I thought I'd charge twice as.
• 3:23
  Much money, but I don't think it works.
• 3:25
  That way. You know.
• 3:27
  Oh, OK, so now we're picking up from the end of the last.
• 3:29
  One we are so this is based on an audio, a stranger audio play
• 3:35
  called Eye of the Storm. Change the eye of the beholder
• 3:38
  because they couldn't afford a storm.
• 3:42
  Just a mild gust. Yeah, that's why we get the
• 3:44
  zombie soldiers as well, because there was a creeping A creeping
• 3:48
  fog in it, a bit like there was in In Memory Alone.
• 3:52
  But you can't do creeping fog outside in a field because it
• 3:56
  just creeps off very quickly. Put your critics head on for a
• 3:58
  second. Yeah.
• 3:59
  What was the audio like? I really can't remember.
• 4:03
  So we're going to cover those audios on an episode of Too Hot
• 4:07
  for TV very soon. I saw this first so I've got a
• 4:11
  soft spot for this, but I know Nick Briggs prefers the audio.
• 4:14
  Version He's quite uncomplimentary about the
• 4:18
  performance of the woman who plays meta.
• 4:20
  Yeah, and but if I'm I imagine it zips along at a better pace
• 4:25
  because it's an hour long. I've got to say, of the last
• 4:30
  three, this was my favorite. This felt most like Doctor Who
• 4:35
  Again, Interesting. It's, well, it's like a
• 4:37
  government facility, isn't it? The village.
• 4:41
  That's the village. The cottage out on location.
• 4:45
  I like this title sequence and this music I.
• 4:48
  Like Harlem Baker and the moon. Yeah, it's simple, but it works.
• 4:54
  It is, and there was. There was some nice direction of
• 4:57
  action I've thought on this one. Again, when we get there, watch
• 5:01
  how nobody's uniforms is exactly identical.
• 5:06
  It does feel cobbled together. See, that was nice.
• 5:08
  That was from day to night there.
• 5:10
  But it is Doctor Who in the you know, it's a isolated English
• 5:14
  cottage or village. Again though, we've moved inside
• 5:18
  and it's a really plain looking house inside.
• 5:22
  It is. It's less miserable than the
• 5:25
  house in the last one though. Now you've got the DNA chains
• 5:28
  there, hanging from the ceiling. Do you not, do you not have
• 5:30
  those in your house? We have them and.
• 5:32
  Suggest that they're scientists. Yes, they are.
• 5:35
  They do the science. They're out there.
• 5:37
  A. Little bit of design flair.
• 5:38
  You know, testing meta who is is able to sort of.
• 5:42
  She's got ESPI suppose and can, but with computers it feels
• 5:46
  like. That's right.
• 5:47
  And she pulls someone, Eagan and Solomon, this way, something to
• 5:51
  do with her pain goes into the web like she screams into the
• 5:55
  web or. Something.
• 5:55
  She pulls them here and then she pulls off Eagan.
• 5:59
  Yes, but we'll get to that. What I did?
• 6:04
  Think was I did think this was pretty well paced.
• 6:06
  Like I think they're bored watching this one at all, no?
• 6:08
  I think it's a it's a good little story.
• 6:10
  And I think you've got some nice little subplots.
• 6:13
  Oh no, Jeffrey Beavers, we're we're noting your bald spot as
• 6:17
  well. Yeah, very true.
• 6:19
  Beavers has a nice little subplot where he.
• 6:22
  Is in love with meta. Unrequitedly.
• 6:24
  Romantically. Involved.
• 6:26
  With meta and unfortunately she's fucking solved.
• 6:29
  Well, she likes bad boy, doesn't she, Egan?
• 6:32
  Egan, I can't get the nature. Oh look at that, telekinetic
• 6:36
  powers. So what are they trying to use
• 6:41
  her for then? A military weapon, I guess.
• 6:44
  Oh, OK. Now that this other lady is
• 6:49
  David Chariton's wife is, yeah. I thought she was pretty good
• 6:53
  actually. So she an established actress as
• 6:55
  well. I think so.
• 6:56
  Just someone they've not been to play.
• 6:59
  Oh. Never taken coffee cup.
• 7:01
  How are they? Doing that, is it a string?
• 7:04
  Quite possibly. There's a wonderful bit later
• 7:08
  where she gets cross and the coffee cup goes flying across
• 7:11
  the table and smashes against the wall.
• 7:15
  OK, lots of scientific data on the screen.
• 7:17
  That's that's been changed. That's an updated effect.
• 7:20
  Computers didn't look like that in 1996 or whatever this was.
• 7:24
  When was this? But you know, established
• 7:28
  setting, government based cottage in a village.
• 7:32
  Some it's just feels so Doctor this to me, yeah.
• 7:35
  Agreed. Which is nice.
• 7:37
  I'm pleased because I think if you'd ended on breach of the
• 7:40
  peace. Oh God, I mean.
• 7:44
  Oh, has she just made the coffee hot?
• 7:48
  Her mind? Do you know that looked like
• 7:51
  going down a colonoscopy. Did you say that?
• 7:53
  I'm afraid. Look.
• 7:56
  That's exactly what it is. I've seen that a few times.
• 8:05
  But. I didn't think she gave that bad
• 8:07
  of a performance. No, I think I I suspect that the
• 8:12
  other lady was his mate, like as in Briggs his mate.
• 8:16
  So that's why he's a bit down on her.
• 8:18
  I'm just looking at all the lovely video covers they had for
• 8:24
  of this. Yeah, there's, there's so many
• 8:26
  re releases of all these things. I'm just trying to find what
• 8:31
  year 1995 S. OK, Establish Colin and John
• 8:35
  Wadmore there. Have they just come out of the
• 8:37
  web? Yes.
• 8:38
  There wasn't a special effect, John.
• 8:40
  If it was that, they're just. There.
• 8:41
  No, they just appeared. OK.
• 8:44
  When they go into the web later, there is a a mild special
• 8:47
  effect. What's weird about this I know
• 8:51
  people at home can't see this but this cover for the stranger
• 8:54
  eye of the beholder is they use the John perk with title
• 8:56
  sequence in it. They.
• 8:57
  Did too. Yeah.
• 8:59
  And it says from the world of BBCT VS Doctor Who, but it's
• 9:02
  just not, is it? Oh, shooting hell, John.
• 9:06
  One boy is beating up Colin Baker again.
• 9:08
  Yeah. This time we have an enormous
• 9:11
  plank of woods. He deserves it.
• 9:13
  Now, did you say this and the last one were double banks or
• 9:16
  this was done a bit later? No, no, this, this was done a
• 9:19
  bit later. They're in a, they're not in
• 9:21
  Nottingham anymore. We're in Collins Imperial board
• 9:24
  phase now. They're in Oxfordshire.
• 9:28
  He's being scalped like an egg. Sorry.
• 9:35
  OK, so when she was, I know I said look like I can't ask
• 9:39
  people when she was there just going down the computer screen.
• 9:42
  Was that her experience in the web?
• 9:44
  Yes, I believe so. OK, so her mind was going into
• 9:48
  the web, which is where the vortex where Solomon, Solon and
• 9:51
  Egan exist and has pulled them back because was it Colin's face
• 9:56
  on the screen? No, it was David.
• 9:58
  David Trout, because that's why she falls in love with him.
• 10:02
  You know how it is. You see someone online.
• 10:04
  Romantic dialogue is extraordinary.
• 10:06
  Oh, he's Colin. Baker's just grabbed him by the
• 10:08
  balls, I mean. Look at him.
• 10:09
  You would, wouldn't you? But it's quite a good.
• 10:14
  It's dialogue, he's saying. It hurts, doesn't it?
• 10:16
  There's a lot of pain about in this.
• 10:18
  And Colin is so cold he's. Just.
• 10:22
  He's not, Flincher Inch. Baker the ball crusher.
• 10:27
  Have. You ever been kicked in the
• 10:33
  nuts? When I was a kid, but not for
• 10:36
  sexual pleasure. It's not.
• 10:37
  Doesn't float my boat, but no kink shaming who?
• 10:40
  Kiss Kicking the nuts for sexual pleasure.
• 10:41
  Loads of people, really. Yeah, people like being stamped
• 10:44
  on their nuts. Oh, that's enough with high
• 10:46
  heels. I shouted across the road at
• 10:48
  this girl right when I was 11. She was a bit boyish.
• 10:52
  And I went, are you a boy or a girl?
• 10:54
  And she came clomping across the road and I was like, yeah, what
• 10:57
  are you going to do? She kicked me so hard and the
• 10:59
  nuts. I cried all the way home.
• 11:01
  You deserve that. Anyway, I've never had it that
• 11:05
  happened since. Fair.
• 11:07
  Also, if you don't know someone's gender, you don't need
• 11:09
  to shout it at them. Especially not in the year of
• 11:12
  our Lord 2025. It was a.
• 11:14
  Total Preak when I was 11 as well.
• 11:16
  Just when you were 11, all right.
• 11:19
  Play your cards right. You see how much of A prick I
• 11:21
  am? He's wearing that same tie, you
• 11:25
  know, from the last. Film through.
• 11:28
  They've just popped in from the last.
• 11:30
  Film. Was it literally from the last
• 11:32
  one OK? Because meta pulled them off.
• 11:35
  Course the bit at the beginning then.
• 11:37
  Was that the last film? Yeah.
• 11:40
  Or was it redone? It was the last film that was a
• 11:42
  clip from the last film of. Course it wasn't redone.
• 11:44
  What am I talking of? That's a minute of screen time
• 11:46
  they don't have to fill up. I mean, you know, if you sort of
• 11:52
  blurred your eyes a bit, you could be in Vancouver for The
• 11:55
  X-Files here, couldn't you? No, no, no.
• 11:58
  I know. No, you couldn't.
• 12:02
  But I, I. Where's Egan then?
• 12:05
  Egan, he's woken up with meta. He's making meta wetter.
• 12:11
  Well, he does make a wetter later in the I must say I should
• 12:14
  do some real screaming when that thing comes on.
• 12:17
  As for wheel. Where is this I was?
• 12:21
  Just woke up at a barn. In the barn.
• 12:24
  I mean I know Airbnb didn't exist but I imagine this was.
• 12:27
  I imagine they this is a holiday home.
• 12:29
  I mean, I'm so pleased you're in, you've experienced these
• 12:32
  because I have no clue where those zombies came from later.
• 12:35
  I mean, I was pleased when they turned up.
• 12:37
  They had a bit of action. But they're a manifestation of
• 12:39
  the web. Are.
• 12:41
  They wow. Are you the script editor of The
• 12:45
  Stranger? No, I've I've just seen them
• 12:47
  4,000,000 times. I've seen these so many times.
• 12:51
  Would you just sort of put them on of an evening if you had a
• 12:54
  tough day? I don't watch them so much now,
• 12:57
  but I when I was a kid I would I would watch these like I would
• 13:00
  watch Doctor Who. So it's say I had 30 videos.
• 13:05
  Four of them were the stranger at least.
• 13:07
  So in the same way that I don't know, I know every line of
• 13:09
  Castro Velva. Could you do?
• 13:11
  Line for lion strangers? I don't know whether I could do
• 13:14
  line for Lion strangers, but I reckon I think the one the one I
• 13:19
  can quote the most is probably a memory alone.
• 13:21
  And I think the spin off I can probably quote the most is
• 13:24
  Downtime, which I used to watch all the time.
• 13:26
  I. Just leave every line of
• 13:27
  shakedown, could you? Oh yes.
• 13:30
  It's very quotable though, isn't it?
• 13:33
  What? Oh my word, that's the first
• 13:36
  governor that's fired in this so.
• 13:38
  They have a real armourer on this.
• 13:39
  So these are they need it. Yeah.
• 13:41
  So they're they're firing blanks, whereas on the other
• 13:46
  ones all the guns were like laser effects, weren't they?
• 13:50
  Now Egan has sort of Alzarian style healing powers.
• 13:54
  Yeah, because later on he's just been shot in the leg.
• 13:57
  Later on, the bandage comes off and there's just a tiny.
• 13:59
  Scab. Yeah, you know, he heals quite.
• 14:02
  Quickly, he's not human. Why?
• 14:04
  Did she shoot him though? Because it's this is a top
• 14:07
  secret facility and she's worried.
• 14:10
  No guards or nothing? No, but.
• 14:12
  He, he, he, he sort of went into his jacket, I think.
• 14:15
  I don't think it's a great piece of directing because I think the
• 14:17
  idea is he goes into his jacket, she thinks he's got a gun, so
• 14:20
  she shoots him. But it's just, it's not.
• 14:23
  It's not snappy enough and illustrative enough.
• 14:29
  I think like there's some, you know, there's some ladies in
• 14:32
  this one packing up the major roles.
• 14:34
  Yeah, that's very nice. Oh OK, now he's going.
• 14:38
  He's going to convalesce in bed and be looked after by.
• 14:42
  But again, very dark in here. Doesn't feel like there's much
• 14:44
  lighting. I know they're trying to use the
• 14:46
  natural light that comes in through the crack in the door,
• 14:49
  which is nice, but it just needs something else.
• 14:51
  You can't see their faces well, and that's the Thunder.
• 14:54
  Yeah. What is that?
• 14:56
  It's Thunder. Is it the whip?
• 14:58
  Yeah, probably cracking through. Yeah.
• 15:01
  I mean, it happens throughout the entire story.
• 15:03
  We keep getting flashes of that. Man, what more?
• 15:10
  Yeah, I was just thinking that he's really good.
• 15:15
  I think he lifts. Yeah, and you know, we we come
• 15:26
  back to. Oh, so yeah.
• 15:27
  No, they're, they're nasty wounds.
• 15:29
  They have put a wound there. There we are.
• 15:30
  We do not. Need to see David Trout in his
• 15:32
  underpants. All right, well, you have.
• 15:34
  I know. Oh.
• 15:38
  Boy, oh thank God his shirt is tucked down a little.
• 15:40
  So do you think she sees him in his underpants now?
• 15:46
  I think so. Do you know a lot?
• 15:48
  I've never seen a man with his kicks off.
• 15:51
  Now, is it darker there than it was in Where Colin Baker and
• 15:56
  John Wadmore? Lewis like dusk, doesn't it?
• 15:58
  Or dawn. Oh, Mesa, you're so beautiful.
• 16:04
  There are lots of brown locks in your sultry eyes.
• 16:08
  She's. Not an ugly lady.
• 16:10
  Sounded sarcastic, but I was being genuine.
• 16:13
  Joe Ford the heterosexual strikes again.
• 16:15
  Oh, that's. Kind of what her flannel shirt
• 16:22
  as well. Where's Where's Hunter?
• 16:26
  Old Jeffrey Beavers. Well, this is there's a there's
• 16:30
  a gun been fired. Is he having a poo?
• 16:32
  Like what? What?
• 16:33
  Who? Is Jeffrey Beavers, Is he a
• 16:34
  scientist? Yeah, he's a scientist.
• 16:36
  Oh, OK, yeah, but he's got this sort of sort of creepy pervy
• 16:42
  feeling for Meta, doesn't he? We've all been there.
• 16:45
  Well. You've worked in a government
• 16:48
  facility out in the country, have you?
• 16:50
  Constantly. That silly bitch on the bridge
• 16:54
  you just said. He's so great.
• 16:59
  I like all the swearing as well, Like it's, it's, it's not
• 17:02
  gratuitous. Though how old were you again?
• 17:04
  Again, 1230 is like this is a proper drama people.
• 17:07
  Swear. There's blood, there's sex and
• 17:11
  people swear. It's a difficult wank I reckon.
• 17:14
  But not. Just watch this and wait.
• 17:16
  Wow. Well, let's make Torchwood.
• 17:17
  Let's go. Oh, he's been, he's been out and
• 17:20
  about. But yeah, look, it's still light
• 17:22
  there, but it was dark at the house.
• 17:24
  Jeffrey Beavers, of course, also turns up in the pro videos as
• 17:28
  the man from the government. He does, and he shows up in
• 17:31
  downtime as a homeless person. Oh, what's your name?
• 17:34
  Harrods? Well, also yes.
• 17:40
  And of course, a fabulous master.
• 17:42
  Yeah, the big Finnish master. Thank.
• 17:45
  You very much. Mr. So who does he think he's
• 17:49
  picked up just a pair of? No, he showed him his police.
• 17:54
  OK. See, this is 1 where it's a
• 17:59
  single location where I felt it actually really worked.
• 18:02
  Yeah, it's a big location as well.
• 18:04
  Yeah, the field, the garden of England.
• 18:07
  Yeah. Oh, there's some great scenes of
• 18:09
  soldiers chomping across, firing guns.
• 18:12
  Zombies come in, just you wait. It's very exciting.
• 18:20
  That's it. Get him in that miserable bed.
• 18:21
  Yeah, that doesn't look like a comfy bed.
• 18:23
  God, this Hunter Pence. Can you say his cock?
• 18:27
  Yeah, it's sort of a slight impression, yes.
• 18:31
  Wonder if his dad's looked like that do.
• 18:33
  You know he was watching The Invisible Enemy the other week,
• 18:36
  right, with a couple of lads doing a commentary and we
• 18:40
  realised that Michael Sheed's costume was so tight you could
• 18:43
  see the full imprint of his cock and balls at that point.
• 18:46
  I know I don't. Remember that bit?
• 18:49
  Oh no, now I can't see everything.
• 18:54
  Well, you know what Bags says sex sells?
• 18:56
  Well, yeah, quite. And there's nothing sexier than
• 18:59
  the bill bags production as the. I mean, I screamed when I saw
• 19:03
  Joe Caston's vagina in the zygon.
• 19:06
  You don't really see a vagina. You see a pubes, right?
• 19:10
  You don't see Lion. I know what it looks down there.
• 19:12
  You don't. See Labia.
• 19:15
  You. Certainly don't see any cock.
• 19:16
  I don't. No.
• 19:17
  You do you see a flaccid penis right at the start?
• 19:20
  Oh, don't you see that fella from EastEnders Cork?
• 19:22
  Michael Cashman's. What the what?
• 19:27
  Keith Drinkle's Winkle, Keith. Drinkle, Michael Cashman.
• 19:29
  I'm so sorry. Keith Keith Drinkle did proper
• 19:33
  porn. Did he?
• 19:35
  Did gay porn. Oh, I shall seek it out.
• 19:38
  Police do. I'm not.
• 19:39
  I'm not covering that. It's a step too far.
• 19:43
  Why are you back on? Porn again, for God's sakes.
• 19:46
  We've been talking about the stranger now for 9 hours.
• 19:53
  This old conversation of ours is wearing a bit thin.
• 19:55
  Well, look, before the action kicks in, then what I'm going to
• 19:58
  ask you is this. Yeah.
• 19:59
  Is I'm going to ask you to pitch to me.
• 20:02
  Yeah. The next stranger story of this.
• 20:05
  Right. So where does this end again?
• 20:08
  Are we surrounded by all the zombies?
• 20:09
  Yeah, it's like the Blake 7 ending.
• 20:12
  Yeah, they escaped back into the web.
• 20:15
  OK. And there's a huge epic sci-fi
• 20:18
  battle and the the rebels defeat the Protectorate.
• 20:25
  Oh my. God but shot on a bill bags
• 20:27
  budget. Well, I think we have to make it
• 20:29
  an audio rather there's any way we can so.
• 20:31
  The reason the one with Liz Sladen is it is an audio and
• 20:34
  they didn't adapt. That is because it is a big
• 20:37
  sci-fi concept and they just you can't do it on a budget.
• 20:41
  What is it set on? An alien planet.
• 20:43
  I can't. It's.
• 20:44
  I can't remember exactly, but I think it's set within sort of
• 20:47
  the web within their home. Oh, I'm deeply intrigued to hear
• 20:51
  that. Audience members TuneIn to Too
• 20:55
  Hot for TV very soon where we'll be covering all of these.
• 20:59
  What? What's your pitch?
• 21:01
  What for the next 1? So I'm going to say obviously
• 21:04
  blasts the heads off all the zombies because, you know,
• 21:07
  they're they're all dead anyway, so it doesn't matter.
• 21:10
  Yeah, you get sucked into the web and then spat out pre
• 21:18
  revolutionary France. Oh, really?
• 21:20
  That's right, and it's a historical stranger story, OK?
• 21:25
  That's right where he's given a top secret mission.
• 21:28
  Somebody from the Protectorate is trying to interfere with
• 21:31
  history, OK. You can't change history, not
• 21:34
  one line. Forward Egan or on the case.
• 21:37
  Everyone's wearing terrible wigs at one point you think they're
• 21:40
  going to get guillotined? OK, I'm in.
• 21:43
  OK, they'll get away at the end. Oh, I'd like, I'd like the
• 21:47
  stranger to get back to Miss Frumpy and they just get the
• 21:51
  magazine out on time. Oh no.
• 21:53
  I don't want her back. She was terrible.
• 21:55
  Couldn't. Well, I suppose they couldn't
• 21:57
  say unit, could they? Couldn't they make this unit?
• 21:59
  But. I mean, I suppose they could
• 22:02
  have done. But.
• 22:03
  But what's the point? Well, sort of gives gives Doctor
• 22:07
  Who fans a hard on, you know. That's fair.
• 22:09
  I mean there's there's enough to give them a hard on in this.
• 22:14
  John, what? More's here in thrust start.
• 22:15
  I must see him. It looks so much better as a DVD
• 22:22
  than Avhs. Yeah, the quality difference is
• 22:26
  astonishing. It's weird though because the
• 22:29
  Terror game doesn't look that much different, does it?
• 22:32
  Whereas this looks like this and the last one for each of the
• 22:36
  piece look so much better than their VHS RIP.
• 22:40
  Colin is such a charming man, right?
• 22:42
  And he's a funny man, and he hasn't been allowed to be funny
• 22:46
  or charming in these last. Couples, but I like I like the
• 22:49
  more sinister Colin. Yeah, I mean, I love it.
• 22:52
  Action Colin at the end. Colin is amazing.
• 22:55
  He hits the gun. He's up the stairs.
• 22:58
  Come on, come on. It's.
• 22:59
  Great. How do you know?
• 23:01
  I always get really excited. Again.
• 23:03
  And I fucking knew the credits were going to hit.
• 23:05
  I just knew it. So I.
• 23:12
  Don't know, you know, if I would invite them to stay the night.
• 23:15
  No, these sinister policemen. It makes more sense.
• 23:18
  Well, I mean, he's been shot, so they need to, but also it makes
• 23:22
  more sense when there's a storm coming in.
• 23:24
  But when there isn't much of A storm coming in, like here.
• 23:28
  There's a bit in a minute where Saul is in the corridor and he
• 23:33
  says the lady goes, oh, I need the loo.
• 23:34
  And he goes, oh, yes, so do I He goes after you just I'm like,
• 23:38
  Jesus Christ. I'll be like, Nah, I'll go back
• 23:39
  to my room. Thanks.
• 23:41
  Do you think there was more life in the series?
• 23:44
  Yes, I do. I think.
• 23:47
  I wonder if somebody else should have had a shot at directing I I
• 23:51
  wonder if Briggs should have should have taken on some of
• 23:54
  these because when I think of the direction of Autumn and
• 23:57
  Autumn 2 they are a cut above what Bags has agreed.
• 24:02
  Here. I think Briggs has got a good
• 24:05
  eye for pace. Yeah.
• 24:10
  And I don't think this has to be slow.
• 24:12
  This story, there's a few moments where it's a bit
• 24:15
  talking. I just, I just think if you're
• 24:20
  invested in the characters at this point, then yeah, you don't
• 24:23
  care if it slows down a little bit.
• 24:24
  I do like these. Characters.
• 24:27
  I like that they're imperfect as well, because you don't get a
• 24:30
  lot of that in classic Doctor Who.
• 24:32
  They tend to be what they're designed to be like.
• 24:36
  We don't get flawed characters. They're either goodies or
• 24:38
  baddies. Occasionally they're traitors
• 24:41
  and things like that, but it's not.
• 24:43
  I don't care that we don't get everything about them either.
• 24:45
  Yeah, like, you know what I mean?
• 24:47
  No one gets a back story, really, do they?
• 24:49
  We know the the stranger was an assassin.
• 24:52
  Yeah, and that he's got his memories back now.
• 24:54
  But what do we really know about these people?
• 24:56
  What do we know about they're? Fighting a lie somewhere, that's
• 24:59
  about it. But we don't.
• 25:00
  Know personal. We don't know what what that
• 25:02
  culture's like, what we don't even know whether they're the
• 25:05
  goodies or the baddies. We know that they're rebels,
• 25:08
  but. I mean, there's, there's scope
• 25:09
  for them to be the bag, yeah. Absolutely behave.
• 25:11
  Sometimes, but the the obscurity sort of works here because I
• 25:14
  think the actors are good enough to fill in the gaps.
• 25:17
  Absolutely. With their personality, and now
• 25:21
  I'm watching this today, I think Wobble might be the MVP, you
• 25:24
  know? I think he's brilliant.
• 25:25
  I I think it's a real shame that he doesn't have more of a
• 25:29
  career. I hope he's encouraging, you
• 25:31
  know, the next generation. Yeah, I mean, I wonder how old
• 25:36
  is him? He's got to be the same age as
• 25:38
  Ned Briggs, hasn't he? So.
• 25:40
  Like I think before I watched the Stranger series, I figured
• 25:44
  Colin Baker only had a theatrical style of acting.
• 25:48
  But he doesn't. Watching these three, he has a
• 25:51
  very naturalistic style of acting.
• 25:53
  But he's just not called on to do it in Doctor Who or in other
• 25:57
  things, and I think it's a real shame that Colin's screen career
• 26:02
  was never quite as big as it as it could have been.
• 26:07
  Nathan Bottomley's got a theory about Colin in Doctor Who is
• 26:11
  that when he's in the studio, he's kind of loud and
• 26:15
  theatrical, and when he's on location he's a lot more
• 26:18
  naturalistic. And if you watch things like The
• 26:19
  Two Doctors, that is true. I can absolutely believe.
• 26:22
  That he's all on location in knees, isn't he?
• 26:24
  Yeah. So I think he, yeah, maybe he's
• 26:27
  more comfortable with it. But also, it's a grittier role,
• 26:31
  isn't it? Yeah, very gritty.
• 26:33
  He grabbed him by the fucking nuts earlier and he's shooting
• 26:37
  zombies by the end. Oh I would love to have seen
• 26:40
  Colin Baker's Doctor against Zombies.
• 26:43
  I've just read the book Grave Matter which is zombies on a on
• 26:47
  an Orkney island coming out in the mist.
• 26:49
  We don't do a lot of zombies in Doctor Who on the TV or
• 26:52
  vampires, and I think it's because they involve it involves
• 26:55
  eating flesh and drinking blood. So you can't there's you can't
• 26:58
  really do the, I mean I know they do it in State of Decay,
• 27:01
  but you can't really do APG version.
• 27:03
  Of it if the zombies in New Earth, yeah, yeah, they're a bit
• 27:06
  lame, aren't they? And the one, the one in the ones
• 27:09
  in Unquiet Dead, but they're more sort of possessed corpses
• 27:14
  aren't. Like when they snap that man's
• 27:15
  neck. Though kudos to David Drown's
• 27:20
  wife, Yeah? This is making me want to go on
• 27:23
  a holiday. Alice Tratton, isn't it?
• 27:25
  No, the Alice Tratton's the director.
• 27:28
  I swear her name's Alice. Maybe it is.
• 27:30
  I've read it in your book. Maybe there's more there.
• 27:32
  There can be more than one Alice Tratton.
• 27:34
  But Alice Tratton's the director as well, isn't she?
• 27:37
  She did Midnight and daughter's daughter.
• 27:39
  She did indeed. You stop.
• 27:41
  Oh my God, he went for his nuts again, did you?
• 27:43
  That's just what they do. That's how they greet each other
• 27:45
  around there. No, you're right.
• 27:47
  It is Alice Tratton I. Stand corrected.
• 27:48
  What a. Fool I am, but.
• 27:51
  Do you know I learnt that from Dylan Reece?
• 27:52
  Oh, did. You.
• 27:53
  He's a smart boy, he wrote. Great, I've forgotten more than
• 27:57
  I'll ever know. Will you confess on this podcast
• 28:02
  recording that you was reading your own book on the way here
• 28:05
  and. I was going.
• 28:07
  Oh this is interesting, just to try and get some facts.
• 28:10
  I can't remember everything, you know.
• 28:13
  There's another great book coming out soon, isn't there?
• 28:16
  In August, all being well. That's right, covering what the
• 28:20
  Keith Barn father, but. The real time pictures out.
• 28:23
  For Fabulous. I can't wait.
• 28:24
  If you've ever wanted to hear hear somebody review every
• 28:27
  single myth maker, then you've come to the right place.
• 28:32
  You've reviewed them. So we don't.
• 28:34
  Have to watch them. Well, indeed.
• 28:35
  Oh my God, now there is a storm coming.
• 28:39
  Yeah, but it does. I do think in the second-half it
• 28:45
  does build A level of claustrophobia.
• 28:48
  Agreed. The army ascends on the House.
• 28:51
  The weather goes to shit. I'd like to know where when it
• 28:54
  was the two video version where they split it, just like whether
• 28:59
  there was sort of a cliffhanger halfway through because I can't
• 29:02
  think of a natural 1A. Bit disappointed if I only got
• 29:04
  the first half. We're all talking.
• 29:07
  Especially because I remember these videos being about £15
• 29:10
  first time round. Plus with the fucking the first
• 29:13
  video would be APG, the second one with all the fucking and the
• 29:15
  shooting would have to be an 18. Oh yeah.
• 29:17
  Quite not. There's a lovely shot of this.
• 29:19
  Car was it? Was it a?
• 29:20
  12 I think it's a 15 there. Oh, yeah, I can imagine.
• 29:23
  Oh, here we go. Here comes the Army.
• 29:25
  Now look. Nobody.
• 29:27
  'S wearing. The same uniform, not one
• 29:30
  person. So this army is the support that
• 29:33
  they've asked for, but then something happens to them.
• 29:37
  Now who's the woman in the red beret?
• 29:40
  She's pretty. Good.
• 29:42
  She doesn't seem to be comfortable holding a gun, but
• 29:45
  she does have a bit of authority about her.
• 29:48
  I don't know. How did Luke Manoil?
• 29:50
  I like this one. All these guns on display.
• 29:53
  I don't. Know he's a strange.
• 29:55
  Boy, gosh, a woman holding a big fat gun.
• 29:58
  I know. What more do you want in your
• 29:59
  life? I know.
• 30:01
  Oh, I think it's Patricia Merrick.
• 30:04
  Who's that? She shows up in quite a few BB
• 30:07
  VS so they've all been frazzled by the web there.
• 30:11
  She was also the first AD on this.
• 30:13
  Hang on, backtrack, they've been frazzled by the web.
• 30:16
  We just randomly opened, Yeah. Because this is obviously some
• 30:19
  sort of convergence point, obviously.
• 30:22
  He says here we go. So now these soldiers are dead,
• 30:25
  sort of twitching a little bit with scary wide open eyes.
• 30:29
  So you can tell that AI is taking over the Internet.
• 30:34
  I've just looked up Patricia Merrick.
• 30:36
  Patricia Merrick was an actor that was notable in playing the
• 30:39
  six incarnation of the Doctor from 1984 to 1986 in Doctor Who
• 30:45
  Am I? In Another universe?
• 30:47
  He had taken part in some BBV video spin offs.
• 30:51
  He has starred alongside Nicola Bryant's, an actor who
• 30:54
  previously played the companion of Colin Baker's incarnation of
• 30:58
  the Doctor in the Stranger series.
• 31:00
  I think you've been, instead of going on the World Wide Web,
• 31:03
  you've looked into the stranger Web into an alternative
• 31:06
  dimension. Quite possibly.
• 31:09
  OK, look, it's dark now. So do they know they're they're
• 31:15
  surrounded by soldiers? Well, they they requested the
• 31:17
  backup. Yeah, but I don't think Saul,
• 31:19
  Egan and Solomon. No, they don't know.
• 31:22
  I mean, I, I think there's a a sort of sapphire and steel esque
• 31:28
  couple of stories with the three of them going to disparate
• 31:31
  locations and solving certain things.
• 31:35
  Yeah. I just think they're they're
• 31:36
  strong enough actors to sort of pull that off.
• 31:38
  Absolutely you could. You could have had them showed
• 31:42
  up in Auton 2 on Sentinel Island.
• 31:46
  Auton #2 I still think it's the best looking.
• 31:49
  It's Auton 2, not auton #2. You always say it like it's like
• 31:53
  it's mambo #5. What do you think?
• 32:00
  It's fab though, doesn't it? All time too.
• 32:01
  It does. It does.
• 32:02
  What do you think Bill Bag's Cyberman film would have looked
• 32:04
  like? Cheap, yeah, with bad lighting.
• 32:08
  So the the Cybermen were Co owned by the estate of Kit
• 32:11
  Peddler and the BBC and they got permission from the BBC but they
• 32:16
  didn't they never quite got the permission from.
• 32:18
  Could he not even get anything on the back of a FAG packet like
• 32:21
  normal? Apparently not, but they they
• 32:23
  tried. But there was just no way he was
• 32:25
  ever going to have to afford it. Do you imagine he kept that
• 32:28
  letter about the Wrights? Liz Shaw?
• 32:31
  He's still in a bank vault somewhere.
• 32:33
  Very. Sad he's still peddling new Liz
• 32:35
  Shaw adventures on audio. Like only like.
• 32:39
  I mean, they're audio books, so it's.
• 32:41
  Not Liz Shaw. Though no, it's not.
• 32:43
  No, nobody who's a big fan of Liz Shaw's going.
• 32:47
  Oh, need to get the actually somebody else on there.
• 32:51
  Desperate for the next Hazel Burroughs adventure?
• 32:53
  Another woman Look. Oh, maybe that That'll be
• 32:56
  British Merrick. She's a hard bitch.
• 32:59
  She smokes cigarettes so it's cool in.
• 33:03
  Her Harvey. I mean to be fair, that's the
• 33:05
  look of like Ross Jenkins in Poison Sky, isn't it?
• 33:11
  I was sort of imagining they were unit and the two that dies
• 33:15
  that become zombies are unit grunts.
• 33:18
  You. Know the Yeats and Benson of the
• 33:20
  1990s I. Think it's upsetting metal?
• 33:27
  Now he said that he enjoyed playing this role because of the
• 33:29
  unrequired love angle. Yeah, well, people like a a good
• 33:33
  character story, don't they? All that lighting is so bad.
• 33:38
  It's just like. I can't even see the the
• 33:39
  features. Who?
• 33:40
  Said that's OK. Look, you could have opened that
• 33:44
  door behind and you would have had some light on their faces.
• 33:47
  It just needs to be a little something.
• 33:48
  It doesn't have to be like lights on or off, but a lot of
• 33:51
  the time in these later ones it does feel like those there are
• 33:54
  two modes, lights on and lights off.
• 33:57
  Like now, yeah, in obviously I know you make huge higher budget
• 34:03
  television than this nowadays if shots came through yeah and you
• 34:08
  were checking all the rushes and the lighting wasn't would would.
• 34:12
  Somebody would get fired. And would there be a reshoot?
• 34:14
  Yeah, absolutely. I mean, you can sort a lot more
• 34:17
  out in post these days than you could back in the day.
• 34:20
  But. Yeah, exactly.
• 34:23
  But Even so, it's costing money. Yeah, but yeah, if if the
• 34:26
  Russians came through and they look like some of this, the DOP
• 34:30
  or the gaffer would be getting fired.
• 34:32
  Well, our business, yeah. Oh, this is that scene.
• 34:39
  I don't know who's got longer hair.
• 34:40
  Hair or him? But also because it's so dark,
• 34:45
  it's just like, I mean, who, who is even talking there?
• 34:48
  If you're only sort of half paying attention, you're like,
• 34:50
  who's in that room? I mean, if you open the toilet
• 34:53
  door like that, yeah, for me and then to put the light on, I
• 34:57
  would assume I'm getting a suck job anytime soon.
• 35:00
  A suck job? Why?
• 35:02
  He's he's just sorry, not you. He beckoned her in and say, come
• 35:05
  on, you've lost the loo. I mean, Jesus, Oh my God, think
• 35:10
  of music's rising. Yeah, he's going for a moocher
• 35:13
  and downstairs. Sinister footsteps.
• 35:16
  They all stayed in that cottage as well.
• 35:19
  Well, you sort of want the special features all just sort
• 35:21
  of lounging around. Who's old?
• 35:23
  Who's he was? He's got that for free, ain't
• 35:25
  he? From someone.
• 35:26
  Yeah, all very cheap. I can loan you my cottage in the
• 35:29
  country. Can we fire guns around there?
• 35:32
  Yeah. Oh, here we go.
• 35:35
  He's going to. The backup helicopter didn't
• 35:39
  show up due to budget constraints, presumably.
• 35:42
  Oh, they could have done, you know, like that tanking robot,
• 35:46
  the toy 1 coming in, oh, you know, Budgie, the helicopter,
• 35:51
  something like that. It's a good premise.
• 35:58
  This one though, I think a good strong premise.
• 36:02
  And I think there's like, I think there's a good movie in
• 36:05
  it, you know, like with a bigger budget.
• 36:07
  Yeah, it's better direction, yes.
• 36:11
  I don't even think you'd need to recast many of the parts.
• 36:13
  Some of them, but not hardly any of them.
• 36:15
  And you don't need loads more money.
• 36:17
  I think you probably need like if they're doing it this low
• 36:21
  budget, like another 20 grand or something, just for better
• 36:24
  lighting, better, some more dynamic sort of Dolly shots,
• 36:28
  things like that. And maybe a bit of work on the
• 36:30
  VFX. How Colin is sorry Solomon is
• 36:35
  choking Egan. Look at him.
• 36:40
  Fuck, he's terrifying. Is this the sort of leader that
• 36:48
  Solomon was terrifying His man? He was a bad guy.
• 36:52
  Wasn't he or if not a bad guy, but I mean.
• 36:57
  But are we supposed to like him at this point?
• 36:59
  Egan says early on, doesn't he? He goes, We didn't have time for
• 37:02
  friendships, right? They're hardened by war.
• 37:07
  But by the end of the story, he understands that Egan has fallen
• 37:11
  in love with Meta. And that he's changed, but I
• 37:16
  think, I think he's jumping back to be this version that he
• 37:19
  doesn't want to be, but all he wants to do is go back and live
• 37:22
  a normal life with Miss Frump. Whatever happened to the LRA?
• 37:28
  Miss Framp. Yeah, she's like, where?
• 37:30
  Where? Where did Colin Baker go?
• 37:33
  She's still publishing a magazine.
• 37:35
  She's all right. She's just left on a bridge
• 37:38
  going. I killed somebody.
• 37:39
  See. That's pretty nice lighting
• 37:44
  there from 1 scene to the next. I wonder what how quick the turn
• 37:50
  around was. I think most of these were
• 37:52
  filmed over about 10 days, something like that, which
• 37:54
  isn't, I mean, for something I think this might have been, no,
• 37:58
  this was three weeks, which isn't loads of time, but it's
• 38:03
  not, not doable. I've shot things on less like
• 38:08
  1/2 an hour television show. That's just a drama.
• 38:12
  What you'd be looking at about 7 1/2 days per episode.
• 38:15
  Half an hour? Really.
• 38:18
  What's? What's good for a day, then
• 38:20
  what's what? Getting stuff in the can.
• 38:23
  Well, you do it by page numbers generally, unless it's like a
• 38:28
  like a big action scene or something like that.
• 38:31
  But if it's just sort of fairly straightforward dialogue, you're
• 38:34
  looking to do 5-4 or five pages a day on a film, maybe 7 or 8
• 38:38
  pages a day on ATV show, I think.
• 38:41
  Back in the day when they do all the doctor room one night.
• 38:46
  How things have changed. Which is why things look better
• 38:49
  now, obviously. I saw somebody whinging online a
• 38:53
  while ago. Well, I don't know why they
• 38:55
  can't do Doctor Who like they used to.
• 38:56
  Doctor, it doesn't look that different to like it did in the
• 38:59
  Sixties, 70s and 80s. It's like, what program are you
• 39:01
  fucking watching? I'll suggest that person goes to
• 39:04
  watch Underworld and then watch The Waltz of Mars and see if
• 39:07
  there's any tangible difference between the two.
• 39:12
  Yeah, all these scenes between Solomon and Egan.
• 39:16
  I was absolutely grip watching this earlier today.
• 39:21
  Dangerous Colin, they've just got.
• 39:23
  They're good actors with good chemistry, but still in the
• 39:27
  fucking dark. Someone turn the light on.
• 39:29
  Oh. No, never mind.
• 39:33
  The intensity of the performance shines through.
• 39:35
  Well, exactly. Well, we do get some action in a
• 39:39
  minute. I can't remember it.
• 39:41
  He's very quick. He's romance with meta.
• 39:44
  Yeah, I I struggle to buy it but.
• 39:46
  You have one scene and then they're fucking.
• 39:48
  Yeah, but then. They're in love.
• 39:50
  That happens a lot in films and TV shows of yesteryear's,
• 39:53
  doesn't it? It's like they're in a very
• 39:54
  intense situation. And so there's this thing of
• 39:57
  like, Oh my God, I love her. It's like, come on mate, it's
• 40:00
  been one night. You talk about.
• 40:01
  A girl in the fireplace. Now I know.
• 40:04
  And that was like 28 years. Oh yeah, to be fair.
• 40:07
  But then I suppose to her. Point of view.
• 40:09
  Technically, Eagan is a virgin, right?
• 40:12
  Because he's not a physical creature in this universe.
• 40:16
  Oh, no flashbacks with the tinkling piano score.
• 40:20
  We drank some wine. We had a love.
• 40:23
  We both killed people. We kissed in the dark.
• 40:27
  But you never see them kiss, so I don't know whether their
• 40:29
  friendship was whether they consummated their relationship.
• 40:34
  But he is thinking of her. Wist for you though, isn't it?
• 40:36
  Sort of how I think about you when you're not here.
• 40:38
  Understandable. And I have a piano score in my
• 40:41
  head. Fair our moments in slow motion.
• 40:45
  Exactly me pointing at Colin Baker and slow motion on the
• 40:49
  screen. Sitting on the phone for doing
• 40:52
  Stranger Coventry. Sipping on a fizzy water,
• 40:56
  stopping. For a wee the.
• 41:00
  Computer's come alive. My God, that I don't think that
• 41:04
  I don't know that early. You know, I think that might be
• 41:06
  a new effect on the screen. What's going on?
• 41:13
  Is it the web? Sounds like it looks like it.
• 41:18
  There is something a little. Now go with me here.
• 41:21
  Have you seen much of sapphire and steel?
• 41:23
  I definitely seen sapphire and steel.
• 41:26
  I own the Digital Versatile disc but I cannot remember anything
• 41:31
  about it. Assignment number six.
• 41:33
  Assignment 6. Sorry, not Mambo Number six,
• 41:36
  Assignment 6. There's a feeling that the the
• 41:42
  higher powers that they work for are closing in on them and
• 41:45
  they're trapped at the end of the There is a bit of a feeling
• 41:48
  of that here, that the web is coming out.
• 41:52
  It's bringing those zombies to life, it's attacking them.
• 41:57
  I quite like that. Yeah, no, agreed.
• 42:01
  I I I did actually watch a bit of a cyber number six the other
• 42:04
  day. Oh, you did?
• 42:05
  Yeah, just because I was doing the the stranger for another
• 42:08
  podcast, Strange and all over the place.
• 42:13
  I was doing the memory alone for my podcast The Bits with some
• 42:16
  other bits and I would like to watch it but I just remember it
• 42:18
  being so long. It is slow, dull, but then so
• 42:22
  are these. You have the patience.
• 42:25
  Reach of the Peace is only 45 minutes.
• 42:28
  Sapphire and Steel's about 9 hours an episode.
• 42:32
  I think wow they are about 9 episodes long aren't they?
• 42:35
  Some of them 6-8. 1012 I don't know.
• 42:38
  It's like the tomorrow people. You put it on, you're, it's, you
• 42:42
  know, it's still serials, isn't it?
• 42:45
  But I mean they are very atmospheric.
• 42:48
  Yeah, no, I'll give it that. I've definitely not seen it at
• 42:52
  all. Why do I feel like a child is
• 42:56
  going to die when John Waldmore smiles like that?
• 43:01
  Interesting. It just faded then to black.
• 43:04
  I wonder whether that was the and it's we're about halfway
• 43:06
  through. I wonder if that was the halfway
• 43:08
  point. Now, look, this is a nice frosty
• 43:12
  day They're filming on. It's like, God, there's frosts
• 43:16
  on the ground. We'll film this bit outside,
• 43:19
  actually. Yeah, look, there's a weird.
• 43:20
  White line around the edge of the screen isn't there all of a
• 43:22
  sudden. Oh yeah.
• 43:27
  Not sure what's going on there. That's a nice shot.
• 43:30
  Yeah, that is a nice. Shot and actually the sounds
• 43:32
  still quite good there. Yeah, I'll put it in like some
• 43:34
  later ones. When you do a long shot of that,
• 43:36
  you hear them in the distance. So are the soldiers still around
• 43:44
  the house? Well, some of them are dead, but
• 43:45
  nobody's really noticed. Where are the rest of them?
• 43:48
  Dead. I don't know.
• 43:50
  There's still something later on that the zombies come after.
• 43:52
  He's fallen asleep on David Trout.
• 43:55
  Well, best man. Yeah, it's true.
• 43:58
  I thought they used to. They used to share a flat.
• 44:00
  Didn't they? You don't know what happened at
• 44:01
  the Stag, you know? Oh yeah, quite what happens on
• 44:04
  the stag stays on the stag. What happened on your stag?
• 44:07
  I haven't had one yet, but whatever happens there, it stays
• 44:12
  there are. You going away?
• 44:13
  Absolutely not. I don't want, I wouldn't want
• 44:17
  anybody to spend loads of money on going away just because I've
• 44:20
  chosen to get married. That's acted very pointed.
• 44:26
  Anyone you know that has done that?
• 44:28
  I've been invited on a few OH. Well, now we're in a car all
• 44:33
  out. Yeah, and this is a classic low
• 44:37
  budget thing where you can't afford a car mount.
• 44:39
  So you've just got the cut the camera in the back seat and.
• 44:43
  It's juggling about all over the place.
• 44:46
  Oh, you can't afford a low loader?
• 44:48
  Oh, they've got a good light on Colin there though.
• 44:55
  It's weird this this line around the screen isn't it?
• 44:57
  Sorry, this is gripping. Comment it's not distracting.
• 45:00
  Oh, it's gone. It's gone.
• 45:02
  How queer. I beg your pardon?
• 45:05
  I said how? Queer.
• 45:08
  Maybe there's a defect in the DVD?
• 45:10
  Maybe, maybe Bill Back just doesn't give a fuck.
• 45:12
  Oh, let's say he's prodding at him now about meta.
• 45:17
  Meta. I barely knew her.
• 45:18
  Oh. Well done.
• 45:20
  Terrible. I do like Jeffrey.
• 45:27
  Yeah, I like Jeffrey. There's a lot.
• 45:29
  He's got a great voice. I didn't even realise until I
• 45:32
  watched rewatched Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy for the four
• 45:35
  thousandth time recently, but he shows up in that.
• 45:37
  Just spot his like minor appearance in the Silurians as
• 45:40
  well. Yeah, he shows up in that.
• 45:42
  What's it, Ambassadors? It's one of the season 7 stories
• 45:46
  now. He's great.
• 45:47
  Edwin on audios. And he's had a massive career,
• 45:51
  like massive, only playing small parts.
• 45:54
  But if you look at everything he's done there is he's got
• 45:58
  hundreds and hundreds of credits.
• 45:59
  Sometimes that is the more impressive careers, isn't it?
• 46:02
  Like the second role rather than the lead.
• 46:05
  Oh right, the romance is going to start now.
• 46:08
  Thing is, I've got a hot up. Hello, I've just brought you
• 46:11
  this lovely cup of tea. Can I see your?
• 46:13
  Penis Jesus, if you brought me a cup of tea in bed I'll be
• 46:16
  fucking you in 2 minutes, thank you very much.
• 46:18
  I didn't have to get up, I mean. Is this the sort of sort of
• 46:24
  thing we want in our Doctor Who spin offs?
• 46:27
  What people making cups of tea? People fucking.
• 46:30
  Oh, no. But back then, when I was
• 46:33
  younger, yes. What about Torchwood?
• 46:35
  Do you mind it in Torchwood? Oh, it depends.
• 46:39
  You know that line about, you know, have you ever come so
• 46:42
  hard? You don't know where you are,
• 46:46
  No. Now I mean there is something I
• 46:51
  will object to like because they have morning sex in a minute.
• 46:54
  Morning. Sex is the worst, I find.
• 46:56
  Do you think? Yeah.
• 46:59
  Oh, you've got. To brush your teeth first.
• 47:00
  Oh, mind you, dinner sex is after after tea in it.
• 47:04
  I'm not sure when's the best time to have sex. 2:15 in the
• 47:12
  afternoon when you get a bit bored 215.
• 47:15
  To. 227. Oh oh.
• 47:20
  Oh, Mark's coming in. Mark's coming in for the sexy
• 47:22
  scene. Come on bro, come and join.
• 47:24
  US. A special guest appearance.
• 47:28
  Mark Rawlins from to watch Who? Hello.
• 47:31
  They're they're about to shag. Oh no.
• 47:33
  Yes, this was the scene I was watching earlier when you came
• 47:36
  down the stairs. Oh oh.
• 47:40
  Now that's Meta. She's a telekinetic woman who
• 47:45
  the government are doing experiments on in the country.
• 47:48
  And she's in the virtual web. She met David Troughton.
• 47:53
  And now they're going to fall in love because she touches her
• 47:55
  head and goes, I've never had anyone in here before.
• 48:00
  And soldiers are approaching the the village of the cottage.
• 48:06
  Two of them are dead and have been reanimated as zombies from
• 48:10
  the web. The dimensional web.
• 48:15
  What do you think of that? Oh, it sounds.
• 48:18
  Brilliant. What do you think of that cheap
• 48:20
  old car? It's like the 70s.
• 48:27
  Oh, it's all going to kick off now.
• 48:29
  It's John. What more do you reckon in from
• 48:32
  the big finishes? Yeah, he's.
• 48:35
  From. Alton isn't.
• 48:37
  It. Yeah, Is he?
• 48:37
  Yeah, he's in Auton as well. Oh, it's BBV.
• 48:40
  Oh no. Mark is now running upstairs at
• 48:43
  the site of David Trout and in his underpants.
• 48:47
  That's it, Get your bandage off. Get your bandage off.
• 48:51
  Get your bandage. Outside, can you see?
• 48:53
  Yeah. But not where they were driving.
• 48:57
  Freak weather conditions brought on by the dimensional web.
• 49:01
  Bulged there. Actually, I think David Trout's
• 49:03
  got big nuts. Like his dad.
• 49:06
  The biggest British sperm? About a bit, didn't he?
• 49:14
  It's healed lovely blue boxes there.
• 49:17
  Just like full circle, isn't it? It's just like full circle.
• 49:21
  Just before Andrick and Kira got it on.
• 49:23
  Exactly. Oh no, I can't believe we're
• 49:27
  about to watch heterosexual sex together.
• 49:32
  Heterosexual sex isn't always as bad as this, you know.
• 49:35
  I knew it. Was going to come to this my
• 49:38
  final initiation into heterosexuality.
• 49:41
  There'll be a test on it later. So why does she fancy him so
• 49:46
  much? Yes.
• 49:47
  I mean, I'm not shaming or anything but.
• 49:50
  I feel like they got bonded by like we only saw a flash but
• 49:54
  like maybe they connected and got got to know everything about
• 49:57
  each other. In the world.
• 49:59
  What can I move in that mug My. God, do you think they did that
• 50:02
  with a magnet? I.
• 50:03
  Think they did that with the power of her mind, yeah.
• 50:06
  No, I think it's probably a. Magnet or a string?
• 50:08
  Yeah, she's like, if I can move a cup like this, imagine what I
• 50:14
  could do with your cock with my. Mind I could make it fall on the
• 50:18
  floor. Oh.
• 50:21
  My God, just think about. That for a second though, right?
• 50:24
  Well, someone could tellically, kinetically wank you off,
• 50:27
  couldn't they? I feel, I feel, I feel like I
• 50:33
  need to know some ESP people extrasensory penis.
• 50:38
  Oh my God. You could wait till the most
• 50:42
  inopportune moment and Oh no, that's rape, sorry.
• 50:44
  Let's. Not let's not sexually assault
• 50:48
  people with our special. ESP.
• 50:51
  Now Jeffrey Beaver's characters listening to meta on the
• 50:56
  terribly cheap Dictaphone. Thinking about the good old
• 51:00
  days. Oh, he's so in love with her.
• 51:03
  But, you know, it's a workplace romance.
• 51:05
  There's only a few of you in the same place.
• 51:07
  It wouldn't work on the real work in the real world.
• 51:10
  Jeffrey Beavers. Also, you're shagging Caroline
• 51:12
  John. She's a right hottie.
• 51:13
  Oh. She's gorgeous.
• 51:16
  I do think the bit where he realises she's not in her
• 51:21
  bedroom and is in fact shacked up with Nick Nicholas Briggs.
• 51:24
  Sorry. He's not shacked.
• 51:25
  Up David Troutham, he does play that bit well.
• 51:29
  He don't get any dialogue. He has to sort of go.
• 51:32
  Oh. The girl I love is shagging
• 51:36
  David Trouten. Here we go.
• 51:41
  Oh, the sexy music's coming in. Hang on, he's put his trousers
• 51:45
  on. Yeah, he needs those off again.
• 51:47
  It's going to take him off in a second.
• 51:48
  I'll. Put this mug over here before
• 51:51
  you do any more damage. Now I thought we was only going
• 51:55
  to see a little kiss because they have a little kiss.
• 51:58
  And I thought, OK, that's nice. No, we're about to see some.
• 52:01
  Hardcore fucking. It's not quite hardcore, it's a
• 52:06
  very tastefully done love making scene for all of you listening
• 52:09
  at home. You know everybody listening
• 52:12
  forget. Can you name a reputable porn
• 52:16
  site? Pornhub.
• 52:18
  Pornhub Forget X xhamster xhamster whatever you want to
• 52:24
  call. Forget them just by eye or the
• 52:26
  bow and Fast forward to an hour in.
• 52:31
  You're going to see some hot sex.
• 52:34
  They've turned to look at each other.
• 52:37
  We narrate the whole thing. The worst thing is is wife's
• 52:39
  downstairs. Oh shit, yeah.
• 52:42
  Alice. And they do look, sort of.
• 52:45
  The sheets are in disarray and covering parts of them, but they
• 52:49
  look mostly naked, you know? Let's see what happens to that
• 52:51
  he. He's he's caressing her face,
• 52:54
  the romantic music stirring. I I for 1:00 AM turned on it's.
• 52:59
  Not the only thing that's stirring.
• 53:00
  No. There's.
• 53:03
  There's Dicks. Touching.
• 53:04
  Their nose is almost touching, their lips press against each
• 53:08
  other. My God.
• 53:10
  It's very tender. It's very tender.
• 53:12
  They've cut to a car. I can imagine that's all we'll
• 53:14
  see. Yeah, it does look like a sort
• 53:17
  of Cagney and Lacy style car, doesn't it?
• 53:22
  Uh oh. Oh no, the zombies are coming
• 53:27
  to. Life, they put that makeup.
• 53:29
  On they're still. Kissing that character,
• 53:31
  especially for so we didn't recognise it was Nicholas
• 53:33
  Briggs, but it's obviously Nicholas.
• 53:35
  Briggs that is some quality zombies coming to life acting.
• 53:39
  They're falling back on the bed. Oh.
• 53:41
  My gosh, she can't get enough of his Ruby lips.
• 53:45
  His his hands are all meshed in her hair.
• 53:48
  It's a lot more tastefully done than Zigon.
• 53:51
  Wait a minute. She's waiting till she starts
• 53:54
  wailing like a banshee. All right, tell me that's
• 53:56
  tasteful. Oh my God.
• 53:58
  Kissing. Gripping.
• 54:02
  Well, Jeffrey Beavers is looking for her.
• 54:06
  There'll. Be some more wanking off to this
• 54:09
  content. Matter.
• 54:11
  Do you want to come downstairs and do some telepathy?
• 54:14
  What, She's not in her bedroom. But also she's not in the
• 54:18
  bedroom, she might be taking a shit.
• 54:20
  What's? That aerosol can, did you see
• 54:21
  when I see it? What did it say?
• 54:23
  I can't. See it?
• 54:24
  Was probably a deodorant for her husband.
• 54:26
  Fucking massive. Yeah, but it was the 90s,
• 54:28
  everything was bigger than 3 megs aerosols.
• 54:31
  She's got a lot of hair. Oh no, they're outside now.
• 54:35
  Here comes the soldiers. Yeah.
• 54:38
  There's going to be a shootout. I'll just know.
• 54:39
  It shit's about to go down. You get cut in the themes
• 54:42
  between the fucking and the shooting.
• 54:43
  Oh Briggs eight. Oh my God, is that Briggs?
• 54:50
  Yeah. It's quite hot.
• 54:51
  There's a soldier. The knee.
• 54:53
  Oh my God. Naked bodies pressed against
• 54:57
  each other. But we're not seeing much, are
• 55:00
  we? Like it's not zygom?
• 55:02
  Wait a minute, there's going to be some thrusting in the second.
• 55:07
  And Colin Baker's like don't go there.
• 55:10
  Jeffrey. Beavers you don't want to see,
• 55:12
  you don't want to see what's happening there.
• 55:14
  Oh my God, he's penetrating. He's tender and slow, isn't he?
• 55:20
  Do you prefer that approach? No, Smash away.
• 55:24
  Get it done in 2 1/2 minutes. But I I do like the way it's the
• 55:30
  music and they're cutting. Between the sex and the
• 55:32
  violence, I thought, and I thought it needed it at this
• 55:35
  point, like we need a bit of pace.
• 55:36
  If we were just on the shagging, it would be a bit too fringe.
• 55:40
  The Lightnings come in. The zombies have been shot.
• 55:44
  They're getting up again. Beavers are sending us emails.
• 55:47
  He's resigning, he's permission. That's it.
• 55:53
  Because Beto has fucked somebody else.
• 55:54
  They must resign my pulse. And he's stuck in the room with
• 55:57
  Colin Baker. He's been wearing the same
• 56:00
  clothes for three days now. Oh yes, look at this.
• 56:04
  Where's this? That looks like a big water.
• 56:06
  Tower it's just on the farm somewhere isn't.
• 56:08
  It soldiers approaching the camera, guns ready.
• 56:12
  Everyone's running. It's.
• 56:14
  Quite slow run. The music's scanned BOM, BOM BOM
• 56:16
  BOM. Yeah, like we're picking up pace
• 56:18
  here. Bom BOM.
• 56:20
  It's it's sort of heartbeat of the fucking.
• 56:23
  There's there's a good there's a good pace to this though, and
• 56:26
  the the location adds a certain amount of production value.
• 56:28
  Yeah, I I agree. In a way that an empty sheet.
• 56:32
  Was quite natural, holding a gun actually, in the way those
• 56:35
  people in the breach of the peace didn't.
• 56:36
  Yeah. It's because she's, she's tough,
• 56:39
  you know? Turn off your personal computer.
• 56:44
  She's a tough, tough lady. Get us out of here.
• 56:49
  I mean, it's sort of go with me. It's sort of industrial in a
• 56:52
  sort of Season 7 kind of a way, yeah.
• 56:55
  You know, oh shit. But they're making so much
• 57:00
  fucking noise, so zombies are going to find them in no time.
• 57:04
  Oh my God. Cutting, thrusting, throbbing.
• 57:10
  Oh God, she's going to start screaming any second.
• 57:12
  Yeah. Someone should put some music on
• 57:14
  the stereo or something like that to dry the mat.
• 57:18
  Oh my God. Oh, they'll be travelling.
• 57:25
  What the Hell's that? It's a dimensional web, but
• 57:28
  that's the updated effects. This web is more trouble than
• 57:31
  it's worth. I know.
• 57:34
  Oh dear, he said to the zombies. He's.
• 57:39
  A funny chap. He is great, right?
• 57:44
  Here we go, zombies shooting. Oh my God, this is how you
• 57:49
  start, isn't it? Traumatic thrusts like that.
• 57:52
  If you're fast forwarding, maybe, yeah.
• 57:58
  If you're if you're quick enough, you'll know you're
• 57:59
  between the legs rather than up the arms, you know?
• 58:02
  Oh. What's going on now?
• 58:07
  Electric shooting out of the computer?
• 58:09
  Jeffrey Beaver's dead. I know it's all it's all getting
• 58:14
  very. Yeah, this is great.
• 58:16
  Yeah, this is good stuff. Mark doesn't know what he's
• 58:19
  missing and Luke Malloy is an idiot.
• 58:21
  I mean, they're both stupid. Oh, David Trout's wife.
• 58:26
  How are you going to get out of here?
• 58:28
  I mean, they all killed by the end of the day, pretty much.
• 58:30
  No, no, they come in and they murder a lot of them.
• 58:32
  They all become zombies. Oh yeah, it's Blake 7.
• 58:39
  They didn't know it was going to be the last one though.
• 58:41
  So, but does it feel? Like a yes, I think it doesn't.
• 58:45
  If it's not deliberate, then to end on a big cliffhanger like
• 58:48
  that, I think it's great. How would you have felt if it
• 58:52
  ended after breach of the peace? A.
• 58:54
  Little underwhelmed? Yeah.
• 58:58
  Sort of. The only two points you could
• 58:59
  have ended it were in memory alone.
• 59:01
  Or this one, yeah. Overload.
• 59:05
  He's doing a bit of a Michael Caine now.
• 59:08
  See, She's quite funny as well. It's just a.
• 59:15
  Really good. The hell is going on around the
• 59:17
  screen now? And.
• 59:19
  When you compare this to the arm drum people he uses these days,
• 59:23
  it's like a world that. Leave Hazel Burrows alone,
• 59:26
  please. I can't.
• 59:26
  Hasn't she suffered enough? She she she didn't get a sex
• 59:30
  scene. I want to see her getting banged
• 59:33
  by David Trenton. Is that all the sex now?
• 59:36
  I think we might be done with the.
• 59:38
  Sex. Every time Meta has sex,
• 59:41
  somebody dies. She she doesn't staring.
• 59:43
  Like a horror movie, isn't it the second you fuck you're?
• 59:46
  Dudes, it's true. I think I do love a zombie that
• 59:50
  keeps getting up. Poor Beavers, right?
• 59:51
  They keep going in this room. He's dead on the he's dead on
• 59:55
  the computer. RIP Geoff.
• 59:58
  In fact, Colin plays this brilliantly.
• 1:00:00
  He goes up to him and fills his pulse and shows a moment of
• 1:00:04
  remorse. Untuck your shirt, Colin.
• 1:00:08
  Yeah, Come on, Carl. Dead.
• 1:00:13
  I'll have to phone Carrie. Sorry I'm.
• 1:00:17
  Sorry. Again, Colin is really subtle in
• 1:00:21
  his movements here. Isn't he?
• 1:00:22
  That's not something you hear very often, you know.
• 1:00:26
  So it just goes to. Prove always it was the tape.
• 1:00:29
  Oh, that's right, because he presses play.
• 1:00:32
  I mean, I would have taken it away from the corpse.
• 1:00:37
  Yeah, I think it's a like, it's a tight script, like the way it
• 1:00:42
  delivers the information, like I don't feel like, I don't feel
• 1:00:48
  like there's heavy exposition and it forces stuff on me.
• 1:00:51
  No, it establishes the setting. It brings those characters in,
• 1:00:56
  it then builds in the romance between the two characters, and
• 1:01:01
  then all the action hits at 90 minutes.
• 1:01:04
  I think that's nicely paced. I'm surprised that he's not
• 1:01:09
  smoking a fag now lying there. I mean, look what he's pulled.
• 1:01:13
  I mean, oh come on, I don't need to see his hairy man boobs so.
• 1:01:17
  I thought you'd like that not. Really.
• 1:01:19
  That's quite a small bed, isn't? It Yeah.
• 1:01:22
  Are we stroking her armlet? This is very different from the
• 1:01:26
  Egan of In Terror game. Why are you saying that?
• 1:01:29
  Character development, yeah. Colin's gone the other way.
• 1:01:32
  Egan's become more human and Colin's become more evil.
• 1:01:36
  He. Needs to go back to Nottingham
• 1:01:38
  for that frumpy pussy, you know what I mean?
• 1:01:43
  Frumpy pussy. That's that's what he, that's
• 1:01:45
  what he calls her. Oh boy.
• 1:01:50
  Right. They should have kept the pace
• 1:01:54
  going here, though. It's like, well, where's the
• 1:01:56
  zombies gone? Because they did get up again.
• 1:01:58
  Yeah, they should. I don't think it's that far from
• 1:02:01
  the field. To they should be on the
• 1:02:03
  although they were in a car, weren't they?
• 1:02:04
  So the implication is that they driven out there, so it's going
• 1:02:07
  to take them a while to be able. To tuck in his shirt in look
• 1:02:10
  David Trouten. What happened to Patricia
• 1:02:13
  Merrick? Who?
• 1:02:15
  The the army lady with the beret.
• 1:02:17
  Oh, she's back. She gets murdered in the house
• 1:02:19
  at the end. It's, well, exciting.
• 1:02:21
  I think she gets her neck snapped.
• 1:02:23
  God, I tell you, his Dick must be well sold now, honestly.
• 1:02:28
  He's got he didn't have a shower, so he's got cummy pants.
• 1:02:32
  Oh. Yeah.
• 1:02:33
  Oh, that's the worst. It's when you're fucking and you
• 1:02:35
  have to go out. Oh.
• 1:02:37
  God, I've got no time. For a shower.
• 1:02:39
  There's always time for a shower, Joe.
• 1:02:43
  No one come too close at the PFI, all right?
• 1:02:46
  You never know. Joe's got sticky pants.
• 1:02:52
  If you're. Still with us, I.
• 1:02:54
  Apologize. We've been sat here for hours.
• 1:02:59
  I'm being held hostage against my will.
• 1:03:02
  You chose to come. He's putting his red socks on.
• 1:03:09
  But then this is right as well. This is the scene between
• 1:03:11
  Solomon and Eagan, who's basically saying you can't
• 1:03:14
  afford to be close to people. Forget about her, let's just go.
• 1:03:19
  She's still fast asleep though. But and then obviously the the
• 1:03:23
  story is hinged on the fact that if she doesn't die, then what
• 1:03:28
  does? The web will come in and kill
• 1:03:30
  everybody. Because.
• 1:03:31
  She's hooked into it. But she's overhearing this, but
• 1:03:37
  also his little. The old old story isn't it.
• 1:03:39
  Boy meets girl, girl turns out to be hooked up to the meta web
• 1:03:46
  girl might destroy the entire universe.
• 1:03:48
  Geoffrey bases girl. I bet he hasn't had any for
• 1:04:00
  ages. That's why Egan.
• 1:04:03
  Egan's never had any. Oh, was that the first time he's
• 1:04:06
  ever had? Sex.
• 1:04:06
  He must be right. Well, he was very good at it.
• 1:04:08
  He's. Usually in another dimension
• 1:04:10
  being a different sort of being. Was he very good at?
• 1:04:12
  It he didn't look bad. You're quite tentative, you
• 1:04:16
  know, When you first stopped, he wasn't being, wasn't he?
• 1:04:21
  Maybe, maybe he saw a lot of those videos during his stay at
• 1:04:24
  the police station, so he knows what roughly what to do.
• 1:04:27
  I mean, imagine the doctor saying that she has to die.
• 1:04:33
  He looks familiar as well, doesn't he?
• 1:04:37
  Briggs E. Briggs, E Zombie getting up
• 1:04:41
  again. Zombie Briggs they just fucked
• 1:04:43
  as well. He had great fun doing this,
• 1:04:46
  throwing himself into puddles. And generally at this point,
• 1:04:49
  everybody's saying what a wonderful time they have.
• 1:04:51
  Like it's the camaraderie. They all go get a bit pissed up
• 1:04:54
  in the evenings. It was the 90s, so there's lots
• 1:04:56
  of chain smoking and drinking and, you know, and they all
• 1:05:01
  earned a few quid. Nothing major, I'm sure, but.
• 1:05:04
  Look at this, it's just what you want when you've been having it
• 1:05:06
  off. Is Colin Baker coming in,
• 1:05:08
  putting his feet all over the face and getting involved?
• 1:05:11
  Yeah, I had to. I had to ban Colin from my house
• 1:05:13
  because of that. Colin, what are you doing in my
• 1:05:16
  bedroom again? Oh dear, are you trying to
• 1:05:19
  convince a man to murder a woman off that they fucked again?
• 1:05:22
  Colin, why you stop doing that, please?
• 1:05:25
  Colin, I'm not going to murder my partner.
• 1:05:27
  Stop. It.
• 1:05:29
  You better watch out on your wedding.
• 1:05:31
  Day. All right, you'll be there.
• 1:05:32
  Put on bed. I've actually requested all the
• 1:05:34
  doctors be there. Oh, really?
• 1:05:35
  Yeah. For our first our first post
• 1:05:38
  marriage shag. I shall get the bus of the first
• 1:05:42
  three from dimensions in time, and I'll have them on strings
• 1:05:45
  going around. All right.
• 1:05:46
  Yeah. Sounds good.
• 1:05:49
  Oh, they're being very tender with each other, Yeah.
• 1:05:51
  Because their. Name's not meta though, is it?
• 1:05:54
  I think that's the code name. Like Doreen or something like
• 1:05:58
  that? Yeah, Energy discharges from the
• 1:06:02
  web. Is that what he got?
• 1:06:03
  Who doesn't love an enemy? Yeah.
• 1:06:07
  You know, when I was younger I can spread energy discharges
• 1:06:12
  from the web quite far. Yeah, not, not so much now.
• 1:06:16
  Lucky if I'm get an inch now. That just sort of flops out.
• 1:06:20
  That's loosen the call gone. It's like an old man sneeze.
• 1:06:34
  Yeah, just sort of dropping. It wrong with you?
• 1:06:38
  That's before I could I could get it up those stairs.
• 1:06:41
  Really. No making love.
• 1:06:47
  When you and I were making love, Dylan.
• 1:06:49
  Jeffrey Beaver Jeffrey Beaver has crossed my mind that anybody
• 1:06:55
  else at home think of Jeffrey Beavers when they make Does he
• 1:06:58
  just pop in? I bet it happens next time.
• 1:07:01
  Caroline. John What?
• 1:07:03
  What she'd think of Jeffrey Beavers.
• 1:07:05
  I bet after 30 years with him is she's thinking of anybody but.
• 1:07:07
  We've been so disrespectful to dead people.
• 1:07:10
  I'm sorry, sorry if you're listening dead people.
• 1:07:14
  Oh God. Do you know what we should do
• 1:07:19
  next? I dread to think about.
• 1:07:22
  It's gone. We should do a thing called
• 1:07:24
  souls arc. What's?
• 1:07:26
  That it's a similar vein to this, but not made by BBV.
• 1:07:31
  It's sort of a horror film starring Colin Baker, Wendy
• 1:07:35
  Padbury, and I want to say Carolyn Ford.
• 1:07:38
  Supposed to be fairly dreadful. I've never seen it, but I think
• 1:07:41
  we should do that. Oh, it's a real thing.
• 1:07:43
  It's a real. I thought you were pitching
• 1:07:44
  something. No, I said that I was about to
• 1:07:46
  say that sounds dreadful. Yeah, no one.
• 1:07:48
  Would make. That yeah, no, it's been made.
• 1:07:50
  No. Oh, yes, please.
• 1:07:52
  OK. See you, See you on this sofa in
• 1:07:55
  six months time. Can you just drag up any old bit
• 1:07:58
  of obscurity? Oh, absolutely.
• 1:08:01
  Oh, here we go. Right.
• 1:08:02
  This is all the action at the end.
• 1:08:03
  Now It's non-stop action. We're heading towards the
• 1:08:07
  gripping climax. So now beret lady whose name
• 1:08:12
  I've forgotten. Let's call her Beret.
• 1:08:14
  And the woman chart and the soldiers look OK.
• 1:08:19
  We're, oh, we're all on the same side.
• 1:08:20
  She puts the guns away, then the zombies come.
• 1:08:22
  All I know is that we found Stevens.
• 1:08:23
  And Edwards and they've gone bad.
• 1:08:33
  They've gone bad. The point is.
• 1:08:38
  I mean, even if you work for the government, Ryan, you're dealing
• 1:08:41
  with this lady with telekinetic powers.
• 1:08:43
  If you saw someone mow down in a hail of bullets and then get up
• 1:08:46
  and come after you, I think you'd be a bit more perturbed.
• 1:08:49
  Yes. She went, she went.
• 1:08:52
  I don't understand it. She's a tough military
• 1:08:54
  motherfucker, OK, She's Alice Troughton.
• 1:08:59
  She's Alice. Prout.
• 1:09:00
  She's just see the husband banging someone else upstairs.
• 1:09:04
  Oh, no, look, did you see then what She looked out the window
• 1:09:07
  and it was really sunny, and then we're outside and it was.
• 1:09:10
  Oh yeah, there we go. Damn.
• 1:09:13
  Can't control the weather. No, but you still fire that
• 1:09:17
  person, wouldn't you that did that?
• 1:09:18
  I wouldn't fire them. Oh, I love this scene.
• 1:09:27
  He thinks they're just going to get away.
• 1:09:28
  Egan has feelings for Saul. Just don't get it, does he?
• 1:09:32
  Yeah. Saul's like, what the fuck?
• 1:09:33
  He's. Like just killer but also.
• 1:09:36
  He was being a bit of a sleaze. And I, I reckon Egan's done a
• 1:09:39
  bit of banging. Saul's did a bit of banging and
• 1:09:42
  breaching the peace. Saul.
• 1:09:43
  Oh yeah, he could have anyone. He.
• 1:09:46
  Could have Colin had Miss Frump? Yeah, you.
• 1:09:51
  Know Miss Frump? I mean, do you remember Colin in
• 1:09:54
  the? Dinner, jatting and sort.
• 1:09:56
  Of Bond, Colin from The Terror Game, I reckon he could.
• 1:09:59
  Schmooze was the right lady. Yeah, absolutely, Colin was.
• 1:10:04
  Trumping Colin in the day. When they did the photo call him
• 1:10:09
  and Nicola Bryant and him being the doctor, he looked gorgeous
• 1:10:12
  in those pictures. I mean they were black and
• 1:10:13
  white, but that's it. It's still all obscurities,
• 1:10:26
  isn't it? We still really don't know what
• 1:10:28
  any of it is. Is this the worst looking of the
• 1:10:31
  films? I thought.
• 1:10:34
  Until the last. Sort of 5 minutes where I
• 1:10:38
  thought there was a lot of good editing and the music ramped up
• 1:10:42
  and the action ramped up and there was lots of cover.
• 1:10:44
  Yes, I do think so, Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:10:46
  Agreed. Yeah, I wonder.
• 1:10:50
  I don't know, I just. Thought I wonder if he's just
• 1:10:53
  thought he was onto a good thing at this point and he's like,
• 1:10:55
  right, I can get a few pennies from Doctor Who fans and I've
• 1:11:00
  got these good actors on. Board, let's knock this out.
• 1:11:04
  I wonder if also he's failed. To get any other work.
• 1:11:07
  So he's just very much. Yeah, he's he's trying What's?
• 1:11:11
  His return on these. Couple of.
• 1:11:15
  Grands I. Mean.
• 1:11:17
  Ultimately. He wasn't.
• 1:11:19
  Independently wealthy. Or anything like that.
• 1:11:20
  So they must have made their money back.
• 1:11:26
  Oh my God, that's it, The portal is.
• 1:11:29
  Open. Yeah.
• 1:11:31
  What's really great is Saul goes through and then you think
• 1:11:37
  Solomon has gone through and that he's going to have to kill
• 1:11:40
  her, and then he comes back. And so we were saying earlier
• 1:11:43
  about how harsh they were with each other.
• 1:11:45
  Actually, he does care. Yeah.
• 1:11:49
  Well, yeah. It's very sweet.
• 1:11:50
  Like I say, Brexit is tightwriter.
• 1:11:52
  Quite tickled at that little. Bit of development, yeah, but he
• 1:11:55
  he like he can do. Character this this stuff.
• 1:11:58
  Proves he can. Do character stuff.
• 1:12:00
  I'll be well, piece of asked John.
• 1:12:01
  What more though? Departing.
• 1:12:03
  Just as the action's going to kick, yeah, but also like, what
• 1:12:07
  does? Oh, that's new.
• 1:12:10
  That was. That that.
• 1:12:11
  World port effect was not there. What happened before?
• 1:12:14
  Did he just disappear? I've got 2.
• 1:12:16
  Title sequence, now wouldn't it? OK, well see you later, Egan.
• 1:12:24
  Good luck. Murdering your missus.
• 1:12:30
  They do sell it though. They really sell it and.
• 1:12:32
  Silently too, yeah. But it's sort of like, I don't
• 1:12:40
  know, I was about to say it's the first.
• 1:12:41
  Hint that Solomon. 'S a nice guy, but he was nice
• 1:12:43
  in the last one, wasn't he? Yeah, well, he's back.
• 1:12:48
  I've. Got your back mate.
• 1:12:51
  Can I shag your misses as well? Oh yeah.
• 1:12:58
  Very. Light in the house and.
• 1:12:59
  It is tough because they they have to do a lot of.
• 1:13:02
  Action in them and it in these tight hallways and things.
• 1:13:05
  But I just think that the. The pace of it was really.
• 1:13:08
  Great. OK.
• 1:13:11
  Poor. Will someone move Geoffrey?
• 1:13:12
  Yeah, like. I'll put a blanket over him or
• 1:13:15
  something. He's.
• 1:13:16
  Got blood on his face now. He didn't.
• 1:13:18
  Have blood on his face. Earlier, maybe he's leaking.
• 1:13:25
  I don't think there's any suggestion, is there that
• 1:13:27
  meta's. Evil.
• 1:13:28
  No, because like she strokes his.
• 1:13:30
  Hair and goes oh, I didn't mean to kill him.
• 1:13:32
  I don't know, but I was just having a shag.
• 1:13:35
  You know, and it's just shaking away and you accidentally.
• 1:13:37
  Kill someone with your. Mind, the cosmic energy came
• 1:13:39
  spurting out of the. Computer.
• 1:13:42
  I mean, I bet you went in. I bet you felt.
• 1:13:44
  Good. Oh my God, now she looks out the
• 1:13:48
  window. The zombies are.
• 1:13:51
  Coming Does Beavers get killed too early, do we think?
• 1:14:02
  I think you probably need to. Lose somebody at that point.
• 1:14:05
  And it was really great because you had the sex, you had the the
• 1:14:08
  shooting, and you had his death all at once.
• 1:14:11
  Oh, here we go. Yeah, they come.
• 1:14:17
  Zombie Bricks. The music's slowly.
• 1:14:20
  Building why do? Some of them have face paint on
• 1:14:23
  and others not. I don't know why do some of them
• 1:14:25
  have caps and some of them have? Berets on balaclavas.
• 1:14:29
  I mean, at least this time the actual the weapons look real.
• 1:14:33
  Yeah, my. God, this is what you want?
• 1:14:38
  Yeah, the siege of the. Cottage.
• 1:14:41
  Yeah, it is. Very.
• 1:14:44
  Just wait. I mean, I'll count the bullets.
• 1:14:46
  I mean plenty of fires. Yeah, it does feel like it's
• 1:14:53
  going somewhere, doesn't it? And it's.
• 1:14:54
  Not just another chat on a bridge.
• 1:14:58
  Yeah, and it's the. Only one of the three we've
• 1:15:00
  watched. Today that has like a big
• 1:15:03
  exciting climax, so I think it's really appropriate.
• 1:15:06
  This is the last one. Oh my God.
• 1:15:10
  Why do? They keep flashing red like that
• 1:15:12
  when they. Fall down because they're
• 1:15:14
  they're animated from by the web.
• 1:15:16
  Aren't they? Oh, OK.
• 1:15:17
  It's sort of. Crackling them back to life.
• 1:15:22
  Also, these guys are going to run out of bullets.
• 1:15:24
  Eventually. The the brake, the brakes.
• 1:15:27
  When they run out of bullets, they storm that house.
• 1:15:29
  And start murdering everybody. I say, Oh my God, some Hannah.
• 1:15:36
  Oh, I thought that camera was going to.
• 1:15:37
  Move then over the wall brake. Is having a great time firing
• 1:15:42
  that gum. Is it?
• 1:15:43
  Paul, Paul, How is the direction of the?
• 1:15:45
  Acting here, do you think it's. I think this is all pretty good.
• 1:15:48
  Yeah, it's OK. I mean it's.
• 1:15:49
  Still it is still. Amateurish.
• 1:15:51
  It could. Yeah, it could.
• 1:15:52
  Do with a few more close-ups and.
• 1:15:54
  Just a bit more coverage. They're sort of doing that shaky
• 1:15:57
  Cam I quite. Like, and again, it's the in the
• 1:16:04
  cutting of the action and the tough call he's got to make.
• 1:16:08
  I wonder how much of that was in the script and how much of that
• 1:16:10
  was. Bags.
• 1:16:13
  I suspect it might be more script.
• 1:16:19
  Oh man, David Pratt was doing great there.
• 1:16:23
  He is. He's like.
• 1:16:24
  His dad, he's got very powerful eyes.
• 1:16:26
  Yeah, and a very expressive face.
• 1:16:29
  Like he can sell quite quite a lot with a look.
• 1:16:33
  OK, soldiers in the house now. They didn't shut the door.
• 1:16:38
  Behind them? No, no.
• 1:16:40
  Oh my God. Things must be bad.
• 1:16:41
  She's swiping things off the. Table.
• 1:16:44
  That's it. Gunman at the window?
• 1:16:47
  Is that what you call a barricade?
• 1:16:48
  They're putting the table against.
• 1:16:50
  The wound that'll stop nothing. They've got bullets.
• 1:16:54
  Bullets, not the undead. You go back.
• 1:16:58
  Upstairs to your shag pad. Oh, Mehta.
• 1:17:03
  This is all your fault. You know, yeah, if you weren't
• 1:17:08
  such a. Space slag.
• 1:17:10
  I really like her the. They're falling down.
• 1:17:19
  And. They're up against red.
• 1:17:20
  Get back up. Oh, Mesa, no.
• 1:17:25
  Oh God, she's going out into the line of fire.
• 1:17:29
  Is she trying to have herself? Killed.
• 1:17:31
  Yeah, she's. She's sacrificing herself for
• 1:17:33
  the love of David. Troughton And here comes Egan.
• 1:17:36
  Now he's going to save her. Meta.
• 1:17:43
  No. But I can also imagine Colin
• 1:17:48
  and. David Trout and perhaps watching
• 1:17:50
  this one and going, do you know what?
• 1:17:53
  These these aren't getting better in terms of the the
• 1:17:56
  production values. And perhaps it's time to like
• 1:18:00
  What do I get out of this? But it's hard to imagine this
• 1:18:04
  script as. With, you know, five times the
• 1:18:07
  budget and a really competent director, this would be such a
• 1:18:10
  brilliant ending, wouldn't it? But and again as a.
• 1:18:15
  Kid, I thought. This was gripping, gripping
• 1:18:18
  stuff. A gripping Yeah, look.
• 1:18:25
  Boo Boo. OK.
• 1:18:27
  The grenade knocked both zombies off their feet.
• 1:18:30
  Actually quite a distance apart there.
• 1:18:33
  Very powerful there. Is.
• 1:18:36
  This is just about doing it, but.
• 1:18:37
  Bags is not. Good at this action.
• 1:18:39
  No, no, no. But I don't know it's.
• 1:18:42
  There's something frantic about it.
• 1:18:43
  Yeah, No, the it's the pacing and the.
• 1:18:46
  Editing works really well, but the actually kind of what's
• 1:18:49
  being shot is not quite there. I mean, I don't want.
• 1:18:54
  To be too dismissive, he's not a great.
• 1:18:56
  Director is he? He's a competent director.
• 1:19:03
  Just killer. Yeah.
• 1:19:05
  I can't wait to hear the audio to see what the other woman's.
• 1:19:10
  Like, yes, she's the best actor in the world, according to Nick.
• 1:19:13
  Briggs is it? Is it zombies coming for her and
• 1:19:16
  that? Or just the fog?
• 1:19:17
  It's just the fog, yeah. How do you do fog on audio
• 1:19:21
  easily? People go.
• 1:19:28
  Egan people say there's fog coming.
• 1:19:30
  Oh God, they. Nearly got a snog.
• 1:19:33
  It pulled apart. Thanks for putting it.
• 1:19:34
  I think maybe. The music helps here.
• 1:19:36
  Yeah, the music's good. Yeah.
• 1:19:41
  Basically everything. Briggs.
• 1:19:42
  Is doing yeah, it's Briggs is great.
• 1:19:46
  Like I, I genuinely. Think he could have directed
• 1:19:49
  this? Really well, because he directs.
• 1:19:50
  Action really well when he does Autumn, I think they've he has
• 1:19:54
  an. Eye for a close up, doesn't he?
• 1:19:56
  Do you? Remember those?
• 1:19:57
  Autumns coming out of the crates in that slow motion sequence.
• 1:20:04
  Fucking hell, they're battering. That man to death with a gun?
• 1:20:09
  Yeah. Blood all over his face.
• 1:20:10
  Dude, why is the camera? Gone all a bit.
• 1:20:12
  It went all a bit. Glitchy then, didn't it?
• 1:20:15
  Is that a a frame rate issue rather than?
• 1:20:20
  Why would he suggest? That Solomon would enjoy.
• 1:20:23
  Watching him murder his girlfriend, well, maybe he
• 1:20:27
  because girlfriend's a bit strong.
• 1:20:28
  Yeah, lie, they're in. Love when they've already just
• 1:20:31
  met. Have you never had a fuck like
• 1:20:34
  that? Though where you're just.
• 1:20:35
  Convinced you're in love straight away afterwards.
• 1:20:37
  No it's so good. I'll add 1 and it lasted 6
• 1:20:40
  months but my. Well, some too big, somewhat too
• 1:20:47
  small. It's just the right.
• 1:20:48
  Size. We've been sat here for four
• 1:20:53
  hours has this sorry. Sorry if you're not getting the
• 1:20:59
  insight you wanted. I keep forgetting that we're
• 1:21:02
  actually. Recording this.
• 1:21:04
  Keep stopping and watching and going.
• 1:21:06
  Oh no. We're.
• 1:21:07
  Recording. Do you know?
• 1:21:10
  What? I'll see it and sadder but
• 1:21:12
  people. Will listen to the end, so you.
• 1:21:14
  Guys who are. Listening to this now you're all
• 1:21:16
  fucking. Losers, thank you.
• 1:21:19
  Thank you so much for coming on the.
• 1:21:20
  The Adventure. With us, we are watching The
• 1:21:22
  Stranger. So you don't have.
• 1:21:24
  To all right, but I would suggest you do Yeah, and why not
• 1:21:28
  watch it with friends? Why not watch it with us?
• 1:21:30
  Put us on and you can have chats about Joe Ford's Instant fuck
• 1:21:35
  love. No, you just made me fart.
• 1:21:39
  I. Didn't hear that.
• 1:21:40
  Didn't hear that. Oh God.
• 1:21:44
  Do you think the microphone picked it up?
• 1:21:48
  This is a new loaf. Hamster.
• 1:21:51
  With a blood. Pen knife.
• 1:21:54
  OK. Stop it, I'll piss myself as
• 1:21:56
  well. This is so far, we've come in
• 1:22:04
  four hours. We're covering new ground here
• 1:22:07
  today, guys. There was a point where we were
• 1:22:09
  going to give up on the last one and come and do it another time,
• 1:22:13
  but we persevered. Oh Christ.
• 1:22:18
  I'm crying. You're OK.
• 1:22:19
  I'm all right. I'm all right.
• 1:22:21
  Good. You're all.
• 1:22:21
  Right, my God. The zombies are in the house.
• 1:22:27
  Manufaction. Someone's dying.
• 1:22:29
  They're all. They're all.
• 1:22:30
  Dying. I didn't even put in a neck
• 1:22:32
  snapping sound. I bet that's.
• 1:22:34
  Quite intense firing that gun in such a.
• 1:22:36
  Yeah, Oh fucking hell, isn't it? She's.
• 1:22:39
  Firing. Oh, you said it was blanks,
• 1:22:40
  right? She was firing them, right?
• 1:22:43
  Very, very close to it. Oh, that's it.
• 1:22:46
  General Trisha Merrick's dead. Oh.
• 1:22:52
  Alastra and just imagine this. Directed better with more money,
• 1:22:57
  it would be fucking awesome. Agreed.
• 1:23:01
  Oh. As it is, it's just.
• 1:23:02
  Very fun. You know Alice.
• 1:23:04
  Charlton's dead. Calling up the stairs, zombies
• 1:23:06
  following. That's it.
• 1:23:10
  It's always. Going to come to this, isn't it?
• 1:23:13
  You've got Solomon and. Egan.
• 1:23:16
  Trying to stop the zombies coming into the room.
• 1:23:19
  Meta's there and there's one gun.
• 1:23:21
  Yeah. What's the solution?
• 1:23:24
  Then Dylan. Death.
• 1:23:28
  Is is. Meta going to shoot herself.
• 1:23:30
  Yeah, that's the. Plan.
• 1:23:32
  Oh my God, she's. Putting a gun in her.
• 1:23:33
  Mouth I don't think they're pushing too under that door.
• 1:23:42
  Oh God. Oh oh.
• 1:23:47
  You see, like that thrower of the gun, then it's just all too.
• 1:23:49
  Close like the just looks a bit unrealistic.
• 1:23:52
  It's a great end in this. So the zombies got.
• 1:23:56
  Egan Solomon's got. The gun.
• 1:23:59
  And Meta standing right there and then you get a fabulous POV
• 1:24:05
  shot from Meta. Yeah, that's a good shot.
• 1:24:09
  Colin with a. Gun right in the camera.
• 1:24:11
  What's going to? Happen.
• 1:24:14
  And then you just hear. But he could have shot somebody
• 1:24:24
  else. Well, it's a bit like the people
• 1:24:26
  that talk about Blake. Seven.
• 1:24:28
  Yeah, Like, well, you don't like what happened.
• 1:24:30
  That's a good ending. It is a good ending.
• 1:24:33
  You're right. It's not very well.
• 1:24:34
  Directed, yeah. But it is a good ending.
• 1:24:37
  Yeah. I had Jeffrey Beaver.
• 1:24:39
  Jeffrey. No.
• 1:24:42
  No, there's only one of them. There's only one.
• 1:24:46
  Oh my God. Well, look.
• 1:24:49
  You know we've. Got to dash in a minute and get
• 1:24:51
  this table for dinner. So I can I ask you, Oh, it's a
• 1:24:54
  different lighting cameraman Andy Bell.
• 1:24:57
  Well, you. Let us down, Andy.
• 1:24:58
  You relied too. Much on natural light, Dylan,
• 1:25:02
  can you just. Summarise.
• 1:25:04
  The entire Stranger experience, it was an experience.
• 1:25:09
  Do you know what? I've had a great time revisiting
• 1:25:11
  them. It is a peculiar series for a
• 1:25:16
  weird offshoot of Doctor Who that you just never quite expect
• 1:25:20
  to exist, and nothing like this could like.
• 1:25:22
  When Doctor Who goes off air again sometime in the next few
• 1:25:25
  months, there won't be anything like this that exists.
• 1:25:29
  It is just a complete product of its time and the little care
• 1:25:33
  that was given by the BBC about what it did with its properties,
• 1:25:37
  but also as well as a little insight.
• 1:25:40
  Into Doctor Who actors playing different roles because you're
• 1:25:45
  all sorts of people. Sophie Aldrid in this Peter
• 1:25:48
  Miles is in there, Barbara Shelley in Barbara Shelley
• 1:25:52
  Caroline John Jeffrey Beavers, Nicola Bryant, you know all
• 1:25:55
  sorts of people but just as well just to see the run all six
• 1:26:00
  stories. The first three are sort of fake
• 1:26:03
  Doctor Who and these are just other sci-fi claim.
• 1:26:06
  Terrorists, you know, to see how the.
• 1:26:09
  Whole thing is sort of mutates as it goes along.
• 1:26:12
  You will have to put up with some low production values at
• 1:26:15
  times. And other times you might be
• 1:26:18
  quite surprised. Like in a memory alone.
• 1:26:20
  Yeah. Well, Dylan, until we come
• 1:26:22
  together. What that thing was called
• 1:26:24
  again? Souls.
• 1:26:26
  Ark Souls. What souls ark?
• 1:26:30
  No, it's been an. Absolute blast.
• 1:26:32
  To do this, it was always going to end with us coming together.
• 1:26:37
  And the next time we do, we will explore Souls Ark.
• 1:26:42
  Until then, thank you very much. Thanks for having me.