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Celebrating Progress On Your Spiritual Path · Spiritual Sense: Practical wisdom to quiet an overthinking mind and recharge your soul

• 0:00
  Speaker A: Have you been on a spiritual path for a while and you're seeing where you want to be but you're not there yet and you're thinking, you know, how am I going to get there? I'm never where I want to be. I've got all these emotional issues and problems and all this stuff is coming up and I'm not making enough progress and it's taking forever. You know, it can be very easy to beat ourselves up to, to say we're not doing enough, we're not doing as much as we could, we're not far off along. We thought we would be doing better by now after all these years or months or weeks or whatever it is. So if you've ever felt that, then don't worry, you're in the right place, you're in good hands. We're going to be diving into how to have a bit more self compassion and how to actually transform ourselves and enjoy the process as we move along. Welcome, welcome, welcome. So Shireen, you've been on a spiritual path for 30 years. So what's been your experience with this, this whole transformation process and feeling like, how long does it take to change and how do we manage the process along the way and how long does it take for us to our whole sanskara is our personality to actually shift? What's going to happen? How long does that take and what do we do in the meantime and what's the problem with this?
• 1:19
  Speaker B: Does take a while, doesn't it? Does take a while, doesn't it?
• 1:23
  Speaker A: It takes longer than we often imagine, right?
• 1:28
  Speaker B: You know, about 20 years ago I was talking to someone and they just started the spiritual path and I was 12 years on the path, right? So someone who just started and 12 years on the path, they're like, oh my God, you're a senior, right? And so they started talking to me and I was very honest about something I was going through and they were so disappointed. Like, if you feel that way, then how should we feel? And like they were so disappointed, right? And I was like, oh, maybe I shouldn't have been so honest. But it does take time. It does take time. What I've noticed is that the final result, right, whatever it is you're working on, the final result does take time, but they are small things that you do win. You know, small moments where you feel you're winning and small things that are transforming, right? I might not be in my final stage of the journey and my final destination, but I'm definitely far away from where I started, right? That Is something wonderful that I just see. I was here and I'm here now. That's all I see. I don't see. Oh, I didn't. I'm not here yet because that could be another thing. I'm striving, striving, and I don't want to do that.
• 3:09
  Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. It's. Other people can probably see the change in us in. In various ways more than we can in ourselves. And. And there's like the final. The final state, the highest consciousness, and then there's the progression gradually over time, isn't it? And it takes. It takes a while. And what we're talking about today really is a lot of the time we. We look at external things to celebrate. You know, so for example, if it's someone's birthday or if someone achieves a certain. Like if they become a number one bestselling author or if they get a promotion or if they lose weight or some. Some physical thing, like we say, yay, well done, congratulations. Or win a marathon or do a marathon or whatever it is. But what about our spiritual growth? You know, we're such. Such an external culture that even to measure our change is not normal for most people and.
• 4:13
  Speaker B: Absolutely.
• 4:14
  Speaker A: And so what we're talking about is how can we celebrate our personal transformation, our completion, our upgrades, the process that we're going through, Rather than just measuring external things and rather than measuring the final outcome, we're saying, how can we look at our success as we move along throughout the journey? Because if. If I look at the final destination as the only thing that counts, then it means that the entire time before then I'm failing every single day, all day long. And so. So if my benchmark is. Is like perfection and enlightenment, right? And anything is a failure, then. Then it's not going to be a very fun journey.
• 5:00
  Speaker B: Enjoyable path, is it?
• 5:01
  Speaker A: Oh, God. How are you doing today? Well, I'm not enlightened yet. Oh, my God. Oh, gosh. I'm not fully realized. Oh, dear.
• 5:10
  Speaker B: You know, we. About 20 years ago, we did a project called Celebrating Human Greatness. And it was such a fabulous project. We went around different cities with new people. We had conversations about human great. And so what. The findings of that project were quite fascinating. What we found is that let's say people we think that are really great, like let's say Nelson Mandela or Martin Luther King or Mahatma Gandhi or anyone, right? Any one of those people we think are really great. The difference between them. Let's take Nelson Mandela. Difference between Nelson Mandela and let's Say, an ordinary person. The difference is that two things happen. One is Nelson Mandela has a lot of moments of greatness, and the person, an ordinary person, has few moments of greatness. Right, but there's another difference is the few moments. Everyone starts with a few moments of greatness. But the few moments of greatness that Nelson Mandela started with, people around him started celebrating those few moments. People around him started noticing those few moments. And here, for an ordinary person, no one is noticing or no one is celebrating those few moments. And so we can't wait for, like, oh, let's, you know, wait for the, you know, ticker tape parade on, you know, the journalists are coming and celebrating. We can't do that, but we can actually celebrate our own moments, Right? And we have to decide what these moments of greatness are. For example, recently, I was going through a little bit of irritation, and when I stopped feeling irritated, I felt that was a moment I wanted to celebrate. The same situation was happening, but I was not reacting the same way.
• 7:32
  Speaker A: Yeah, that's great. Well, congratulations. So we should celebrate you, you know, because. No, but it's true, though, isn't it? I mean, it's actually said in one of these teachings that you should get together and celebrate. And there. There are lots of actually spiritual groups in various ways that do celebrate when someone, like, finishes a training or something happens or something. Something, right? They get. They get like, you know, a ribbon or a badge or some. Some something, or they just get celebrated and recognized and appreciated by people. So I think one is, of course, we can't be waiting around going, all right, then I'm ready for my celebration. Because I. Because we can't demand other people celebrate us. But it is nice, if possible, to put together some celebrations people, even if it's online, so we can celebrate all of our listeners and viewers for showing up, listening to this podcast, especially if you've been here for a while, congratulations. We should have a celebration for everyone, a live celebration. But in the meantime, we need to figure out a way of. Of doing some sort of celebration. One thing I found very helpful. Well, I'm literally just about to do this now. I just got some new paper for my printer because it wasn't working. Is I, for many, many years have had a calendar, and I have three different kinds of stars. I've got big gold stars, small gold stars, and silver stars, right? And they're all just over there and. And I decide what they mean. Right? And I was actually thinking of getting some more stickers, actually, just for fun, like smiley faces or something. And so when I do something that is. Is great in, even if in a small way, like certain practices or certain things I didn't do that I shouldn't be doing, then I get a gold star or a silver star or whatever it is. And it's very heartening to put those stars on the calendar and appreciate, you know, that like, yeah, this progress is. And then you can stand back and look at, and go look at all these stars. This is great. So we're actually celebrating the process and the progress and measuring success as in things that we're doing that are in our control.
• 9:55
  Speaker B: Right, Right. And especially like the inner ones. The inner ones, like let's say I finally packed up resentment towards someone, right? I've been resenting, resenting, resenting. And then finally I packed it up. That's like a cause for celebration with like splendor and a ticker tape parade and, you know, let's bring up the. Bring out the bugles, right? And because it is a big thing. It is a big thing. And the reason I was telling you about the story of the celebrating human greatness is the more we celebrate these internal things, not just the external metrics, because the external metrics of the house or the promotion or the anniversary or the birthday, fine, right. Everyone around you is celebrating and great, go celebrate. But the internal ones, no one is celebrating. There are two things that are happening because we are not celebrating the internal ones, the internal victories. One is that I feel I'm not making any progress. Two is that I'm not being inspired by the progress I've already made. If I want to be like we were talking about Nelson Mandela. I'm not physically aspiring to be Nelson Mandela. But if I want to have so many internal victories, like I want my irritation to be gone, resentment to be gone, you know, all of those. Right. Any. Any internal thing. I had bad wishes for someone. I want to have good wishes. I want to have pure feelings for everyone. I don't want to give sorrow. I don't want to do all of those things. If I want. Right. Every single time I. I'm not doing one of those things, then I need to sit and celebrate because that will give me the impetus to do more of it.
• 12:05
  Speaker A: Absolutely. Yeah. We, we get inspired by seeing success. Success creates more success. But if we don't track our success, then it, it seems like all we're seeing is what's lacking. There's a great book called the the Gap and the Gain and such a great concept by Dan Sullivan where In essence, if we see if. Let's say I'm over here and I think I want to be constantly relaxed, blissful and joyful permanently all the time, no matter what's going on, right? And if I look at myself today, so. Oh, I wasn't. I had a slight thought about something this morning, and then whatever, whatever, whatever. Then because I'm looking at the end result and comparing myself against it, then I feel like there's a huge gap and I feel depressed or upset or not very pleased about it. But if I turn the other way and say, how many gains have I made in the last 20 years or five years or even last month, right? What are all the things that are upgrades and calculate that and look at those things, then I'm like, yeah, everything's going great. This is wonderful news. This is wonderful, wonderful, wonderful. But it's the same thing. I'm still in the same place. It's just where. Where am I looking? You know, it is important to see the final result that we want actually. But not to see it even to see the final result is a success in the now. Actually, that's the irony with spirituality. If I can imagine my future self, my higher self today, right? Then by. By doing that, I'm pulling it here. And that is a success now, you know, because we become our future self by experiencing our future self in the now. So even in that situation, we're winning today. So what we're trying to get to is how many of these wins can we stack in our day that we can celebrate so that we're always doing great? And instead of thinking, oh, dear, oh dear, I had a waste thought these. I'm nearly out of cherries.
• 14:18
  Speaker B: Oh, no, you're nearly out of cherries.
• 14:22
  Speaker A: No, I've got plenty of cherries, but just the thought that I might be out of cherries is bad enough. Oh, no, I have the least thoughts of cherries.
• 14:32
  Speaker B: Best thoughts about cherries. One of the things I feel is that we have to. Like you were saying, no, we have to see what does this looks like. And for me, I feel it's like we have to see what finished looks like, right? So let's say I'm having irritation, and every time Brother Michael changes the recording date, I have a little bit more irritation, right? So instead of thinking just to test me so I can become strong, so I can build resistance and have good wishes,
• 15:15
  Speaker A: see how unconditional love is, Shireen? That's what it's about,
• 15:21
  Speaker B: right? So every time this happens, right? So you feel like, oh, okay, the last time it happened, I didn't get irritated. That's a win, right? But also, even before that happens, I should think, oh, next time he changes the recording date, let me sit down and give him saakash for five minutes instead of getting annoyed, right? So I need to feel that what is in my control that I can do that. I'm not feeling annoyed and irritated and taking sorrow or giving sorrow or any of those things because it's going to happen. I mean, hopefully it won't happen with you, but you know. Good.
• 16:17
  Speaker A: Well, you know, you have to expect the unexpected but. Or anticipate things but. No, it's a good point. Like we can't. I mean, what this comes back to is what is the process of transformation? What does it actually look like? So we want to. We want to get over here and have a certain change in our thinking and behavior and everything else, right? But to get there, you could say that state exists anyway on, on a higher level. Like, because that's, that's the magic of being soul conscious is that as soon as we become aware that we're spiritual beings in a very deep way, then we can actually feel freed from our old habits in that experience that there's. I have a quote on the fridge that says basically in body consciousness, those sanskaras or those habits, those tendencies are yours. When you're soul conscious, they're not there. So the, the magic is that when we have a higher awareness, all of a sudden everything just disappears in that moment, but then it comes back again. So, so the final transformation is where that experience has become so grounded that the other things have actually gone away permanently. But in the meantime, we can celebrate the various moments throughout the day of higher awareness, isn't it? Rather than saying what we did that didn't work.
• 17:51
  Speaker B: And also little moments, right? Little moments. Like if I celebrate a little win. Internal win right now and see how it really looks like, then I'm more likely to do it more. You know, I recently had a birthday and I didn't celebrate it really. I didn't. I worked 12 hours on our website, right? But it didn't bother me that much. I'm like, I wasn't like, oh, bemoaning the fact that I'm totally working 12 hours a day on my birthday. So it's. But I feel that I shouldn't make that mistake with my personal inner transformation.
• 18:47
  Speaker A: So what does that look like then practically?
• 18:51
  Speaker B: You know, one thing that I'm really working on these days is not giving sorrow because that's where I want to stop. Because we have a slogan in the Brahma Kumaris which says, don't give sorrow. Don't take sorrow. And I love that slogan. And I feel that even before taking sorrow, I have to stop giving sorrow. If I stop giving sorrow, then I won't take sorrow. And if I take sorrow, then I'll definitely give sorrow. So the whole point is, I'm going into relationships, I'm going into conversations, thinking under any cost, I'm not going to give sorrow to this person. The way I talk, what I say, even though it's not going to the way we agreed on, and this happened, that happened. Let me not do that, right? And so every time it happens, okay, I might not be finally at a point where I'm never going to give sorrow to people, but every time it happens now, I celebrate internally. I think, okay, at least I was aware in this conversation that I shouldn't give sorrow, and I didn't do it. And so that itself is a celebration for me.
• 20:16
  Speaker A: Yeah, exactly. Because it's. We have to celebrate. It's. What makes up a great thing in the end is lots of little things, isn't it? Lots of small things. Like anyone who's good at, let's say, figure skating or skateboarding or skiing or whatever, they don't get really good at it straight off the bat. They. They practice, don't they? And there's lots of little things and falling over and doing all these things, and then eventually they get there. So a big win in the end, changing ourselves only happens through lots of little moments over large amounts of time, isn't it? Little wins, little wins, little wins.
• 20:53
  Speaker B: Absolutely. Little wins, little wins. But one of the things I feel is when I celebrate, right? Little, little things, like, there's so much happiness. There's so much this feeling of, I'm not stuck. There's so much this feeling of, oh, I'm progressing, right? And then it makes me want to measure, right? It makes me want to measure little things that I've missed before. It makes me want to do things that I wouldn't have done otherwise. You know, like little children, right? If they think they're going to get a gold star. You were giving the example of a gold star they would do if not if they didn't get a gold star. Let's say we tell them, okay, if all of you write the Alphabet, whoever writes the Alphabet from A to Z will get a gold star. And because of the gold star, many will write, and it's the Same psychology we have. Right. Because I'm celebrating a win and I'm thinking, oh, I want to do more. I want to do more of this. Right.
• 22:10
  Speaker A: A bigger gold star. Right. All right.
• 22:13
  Speaker B: Like, okay. Every time now. Okay, now, let's see. In what ways I used to give sorrow, and now I don't shoot my mouth. Right. So there's a lot of ways I could absolutely improve. But I am. And then someone recently told me yesterday, oh, you. You know, you sound like a. Know it all. And I'm thinking, okay, that's another thing I need to improve and not sound like,
• 22:40
  Speaker A: oh, dear.
• 22:42
  Speaker B: Not sound like. No, it's another thing that I could totally prove and, you know, learn.
• 22:47
  Speaker A: And there's upgrades. Yeah. It could get new.
• 22:51
  Speaker B: Absolutely. Upgrade.
• 22:53
  Speaker A: Do you have any stickers? Goat stuff? No, no. You should get some.
• 23:00
  Speaker B: I mean, I need to have a. Like a little board. Right?
• 23:04
  Speaker A: Yeah, I. I mean, what I was doing, I've stopped doing it for some reason, but I'm starting again today. I actually started at the beginning of the month. I just hadn't had my printer to print out the thing. But anyway, I've already started, but I have the gold stars. And so there's a few different. So we can track lots of things. Like, one is our meditation, one is our thoughts, one is what things we're not doing. Like, not giving anyone sorrow. Or for me, it's like not using the Internet in a wasteful way. You know, like being. Having more space. Yeah. Praise the Lord. You know, if any. Like, it's. It's such a joyful thing to say. I had no waste on the Internet at all today. Bing.
• 23:49
  Speaker B: Yeah. Guess what, angel? I have no waste on the Internet for months now.
• 23:56
  Speaker A: Congratulations.
• 23:57
  Speaker B: Almost a year.
• 23:58
  Speaker A: That is incredible.
• 23:59
  Speaker B: Yeah. I need, like, a total big gold star, right?
• 24:02
  Speaker A: You do need a really big gold star. You do.
• 24:05
  Speaker B: Like, Like a celebration of something.
• 24:08
  Speaker A: Yeah, you do. You do. You need. You need a. You need a bar of gold, is what you need. A big bar of gold. Yeah. Then the shape of a star. Yeah. No, that is wonderful because, I mean, that's. That's something that's extremely unusual and very, very difficult. So congratulations. Congratulations. So, like. But, you know, if someone's getting started
• 24:28
  Speaker B: getting the gold stars, I feel so happy about it. Right.
• 24:31
  Speaker A: Yeah.
• 24:32
  Speaker B: I didn't give myself gold stars, which maybe I should give myself gold stars for other things, but I didn't give myself gold stars. And the fact that I'm doing it, which is I'm not doing scrolling and feed and whatever nonsense I'M not doing it. I feel so happy. Like, it's like, feels like the biggest achievement of my life these days.
• 24:55
  Speaker A: It's a huge success. It really is.
• 24:57
  Speaker B: You know, like I'm using my time in a worthwhile way.
• 25:01
  Speaker A: Yeah, exactly.
• 25:02
  Speaker B: I'm using every second of what I have in a way that is beneficial for me and everyone else. It feels so good.
• 25:12
  Speaker A: It's such a, such a difference. It's different life, isn't it? When. Because it's. I think the problem with the Internet is that it puts us in a hypnotic trance where we can't see clearly. So it doesn't seem like a trance at the time. That's why it's a trance. But when you come out of it, you're like, oh, it's almost like a different perspective on everything. So yeah, congratulations. Congratulations. So you definitely should get gold stars for that. And, and then there's so many other things. So it's like having, having a loving thought.
• 25:51
  Speaker B: No, let's go back to the Internet use. Right? People don't realize how difficult that is.
• 25:59
  Speaker A: No, no, I understand. But most people have never tried. Most people, if you say, consider giving up all unnecessary media completely and, and unnecessary means basically all media entirely. Most people would think, are you insane? Like what are you talking about? So why would you. Or they think, why would you want to do that? There's a certain point where, where certain things like entertainment stop being fun and start causing problems, start becoming a harmful influence on our well being. And I think the more spiritually sensitive we are, the more we notice these sorts of things. So that's a huge topic. We have certainly delved into this one rather a lot, haven't. It's one of our pet topics. Give up the old nonsense. And everyone's like, this is like coming with the, the holy water and the thing to the, you know, so we're not going to get into that, but whoever wants to do it's going to do it.
• 27:05
  Speaker B: But to celebrate whatever it is we celebrate, we celebrate.
• 27:11
  Speaker A: So celebrate any meditation that you do, celebrate any good thoughts that you have. Celebrate eating, you know, pure food that's good for you. You know, we can celebrate all sorts of things that we're doing and celebrate things that you didn't do that you thought were bad for you. And then we're like, oh, I'm doing great. Rather than, I haven't become completely everything, everything, all the time, permanently. So therefore I'm a total failure and I hate myself. Which is not very useful. I haven't reached it Yet. So I think worth worth writing down is what do you want to celebrate? What could you celebrate? But what is it that you're going for? So you have an idea what, what is even worth looking at?
• 27:57
  Speaker B: Absolutely.
• 27:57
  Speaker A: So this big, big topic. A big topic. Do you have any specific suggestions?
• 28:02
  Speaker B: Serene on practicing this, I was thinking of the steps. Right. One is we pick a self sabotaging pattern. Whatever pattern you feel is self sabotaging. Right. Not self justified patterns but like be honest with yourself, it's a self sabotaging pattern. Then let's pick that. So one, you pick a pattern. Two is you see what finished looks like in that pattern. Right. Even a minor win. What does that look like? It shouldn't be like I was giving you the example of irritation when Michael changes the recording date. Right. It shouldn't be that I will never get irritated again. Right. Because I might not be able to keep that thing which I shouldn't get ever irritated again. That is for sure. I should be giving up anger and that should go. But I have to be more like come down a little bit and say that okay, if this happens then I will give Saakash for 5 minutes.
• 29:25
  Speaker A: So.
• 29:26
  Speaker B: Or for example, I don't want to give sorrow to people. And so I clearly seeing that in a conversation because I have to deal with a lot of people, I have to talk to a lot of people that I'm going in with that aim. I'm not going in with the outcome of they need to listen to what I'm saying. I'm going in with the aim that the only outcome I want out of this conversation is that they don't take sorrow, I don't give sorrow. That's the only outcome. And so it's been very interesting to go in with that outcome. Right. Because before my outcomes were very different. So see what finished looks like. And, and then, then we do the final. What you were saying practice, part of the practice.
• 30:34
  Speaker A: Yeah. Have some celebration at the very least we, we can write down three wins of the day or at least think about them. But writing them down is good. But ideally you want to get a calendar and put your gold stars or silver stars or happy faces or little cheeky little tomatoes or whatever you feel brings you joy.
• 30:57
  Speaker B: And pizza slices maybe.
• 30:59
  Speaker A: Pizza slices, yeah. Now, now I'm thinking about it. I'm thinking I should get some more stickers just for fun, you know. Oh, there's pizza slices, there's happy little, little probably little cloud people. I mean there's all sorts of funny little stickers so. And you're like, yeah, I did it. Boom, boom, boom. Because the end result is going to arrive as a consequence of lots of smaller wins along the way, and that, that inspires us to do more wins. So I didn't waste my time on the Internet when I did my meditation. I sent love and blessings to people. You know, whatever it is. Right. You can decide for yourself what that's going to look like. But it's. Ideally, the little things you're doing are going to lead to some bigger thing because as we talked about before, the practices we have need to actually work, otherwise what's the point in doing them, you know? So if you, if you pick a practice that isn't going to work, then you could do it all day long and get loads of gold stars and it's not going to make any difference. It might make you feel happy, actually, because you're getting gold stars. But ideally we want to be doing something that feels good and leads to an outcome. So, for example, with. I personally have been quite irritated with AI. I. I don't normally get irritated with people, but I. If AI was, was, was something I could strangle, I probably would have been strangled at this point, you know, for. Because I'm like, I'm spending hundreds and hundreds of dollars and you're just screwing this thing up. Oh, my God. Because that's. Because I'm in a hypnotic trance going, give me a why? So. So I. And now I'm like, just stop using this stuff. It's bad for you, Michael. Just, just chill out with it. So, so for me.
• 32:45
  Speaker B: So weird, Michael. AI, it gives you really weird dreams. Like if you use it before going to bed, it's like something weird about it.
• 32:55
  Speaker A: Yeah, it's. It's. I don't know what. It's such an odd technology and. Because it's not a person, it doesn't. I know, it's. I know I'm not upsetting the AI because AI doesn't exist. So I'm just getting irritated with myself. Not really. Like, if it was a person, I wouldn't, I wouldn't want to cause them sorrows. So because it's AI, I don't. I don't really care because it doesn't. But it's. It's been. Because I think what happens is I, I go into a, an unusual mind state because I'm using a strange technology that sort of. And then it doesn't give me what I want and I'm like, I really don't enjoy doing this. It's very unpleasant. So I'm having to, like, stop using it completely for the time being and figure something out. But. But what I'm finding helps me is, is just to go, okay, let me welcome my feelings and anger or irritation or whatever it is, and am I willing to let it go or am I can I welcome the anger and hold on to it and be really irritated on purpose, you know, and then I laugh about it and then I let it go. And so that's a win, right? So I'm like, okay, I notice I'm irritated.
• 34:13
  Speaker B: Absolutely a win. Absolutely a win.
• 34:16
  Speaker A: And I'm letting it go.
• 34:17
  Speaker B: So should we do a live.
• 34:21
  Speaker A: Yeah, you go for a practice. Yeah.
• 34:25
  Speaker B: All right, let's take a deep breath. And while you're breathing out, slowly think of one self sabotaging pattern. One self sabotaging pattern. I want you to think of it clearly, how it appears in your life, what you do because of it, The full spectrum of what happens because of that pattern. And now I want you to see if you got rid of that pattern even in two or three of the situations you're envisioning. How would it look like. Small wins? How would small wins look like without that pattern in your life? And now every time, I want you to affirm to yourself, every time you have a small win, you will celebrate it. You will personally acknowledge that it happened and you will celebrate it. Don't let it just pass by.
• 36:46
  Speaker A: Yay. So there we have it. Pick something. Think about the little thing that you can do now, and every time you do it, get a gold star. You get a gold star. Wouldn't that be wonderful? Or you can at least just go, yay. And if you can get around spiritual people who are willing to celebrate your success, that will be great as well. In the meantime, just celebrate yourself. Let's have a blessing.
• 37:22
  Speaker B: This is God's blessing for you. Truth at last. You have tapped into the truth. Beyond the physical. You can feel a powerful connection to your inner self, casting away doubts and insecurities. Your quest for divinity has begun, propelling you to a pure, peaceful life.
• 37:55
  Speaker A: Yay. Beautiful. Beautiful. Thank you, thank you, thank you. So wishing everybody health, wealth, happiness and success. Celebrate all the little things you're doing every day because you're doing great. At least do minimum three wins a day that you can write down so you fall asleep feeling successful. And if you need any help with anything, let us know. We have a way you can reach us or just leave a comment. Lots of love and many blessings.