Latest / Why Not Today? with Leslie Kane / Why Not Today? Season 1 - Episode 13 with Joe Meyer, Executive Director & CEO of Shelter House.
Transcript
- 0:00All right. Hi, this is Leslie and I am the host of the Why Not Today podcast. And this
- 0:08podcast is to celebrate people who have been courageous and said, Why Not Today? I started
- 0:14this podcast in honor of my father, Patrick Cain, who often said, Why Not Today? I am
- 0:21based in Reston, Virginia, a plain community outside of Reston or outside of Washington,
- 0:25D.C. And in my full-time world, I am actually sales director with Mary Kay, but this has
- 0:30been a fun adventure to meet new people and share Why Not Today stories. So thank you
- 0:37for joining me. Today I am excited to have my guest, Joe Meyer, and he is from Shelter
- 0:42House, which we will talk about in a minute. And I always like to talk about connections
- 0:46and, you know, you never know where you are going to meet somebody. And because of Mary
- 0:52Kay's involvement in, we have a charitable foundation involved in domestic violence.
- 0:58And I went to a chamber event, met somebody named Jolie, and I don't even remember her
- 1:03last name. And she said, Oh my gosh, the Mission of Mary Kay is in the line of the Shelter
- 1:07House. Now, I never heard of Shelter House. And we'll talk a little bit more about that
- 1:10too. But then she connected me to Danny, who worked at Artemis House, who then connected
- 1:18me to Joe, and we've done lots of things together. And so I'm super excited to have Joe to kind
- 1:22of share his story, but also share the story of Shelter House and the courage that goes
- 1:28along with having hard times in your life. So welcome, Joe, and I'm excited to have you.
- 1:34And so why don't you introduce yourself and tell us a little bit of fun fact that nobody
- 1:41might know about Joe.
- 1:42Cool. Well, Leslie, thank you for having me on the show. This is a great opportunity for
- 1:47me, but also for Shelter House and the people that we serve and just getting the word out
- 1:50around homelessness and domestic violence and, you know, how people can get involved.
- 1:56And also if people need help out there can, you know, can reach out to us too. So I really
- 2:01really appreciate this opportunity on different levels. But as you said, my name is Joe Meyer.
- 2:07I'm the Executive Director and CEO for Shelter House, which is a private nonprofit here locally
- 2:14in Fairfax County and now Loudoun County serving both counties there. I grew up in the Western
- 2:21Pennsylvania area just outside of Pittsburgh and went to a small school called Super Rock
- 2:29University, which kind of could be a fun fact in itself.
- 2:32People hear the name of that school, but Super Rock University, I was a social work major
- 2:39and always knew I just wanted to help people, which is kind of how I got to do what I'm
- 2:44doing today is knowing that I wanted to help people influence people as much as I could
- 2:53knowing, knowing now, not knowing then, but knowing now that, you know, I am a person
- 2:59of privilege who, you know, I have different platforms. I have a voice that some people
- 3:06may not have, especially when we're talking about people that have experienced in domestic
- 3:10violence, marginalized populations, people of color who do not have those voices. I need
- 3:18to step up and make sure that I use my voice for those people who can't. So I really enjoy
- 3:25what I do enjoy the people that I work with, the populations that we're serving. As I mentioned,
- 3:31I want to be of influence to people, but I've learned over the last 21 years of doing this
- 3:37work, the people that I'm working with are actually influencing me. I have not learned
- 3:43more through all my years than when somebody walks through these doors, who needs help.
- 3:51And we talked, you know, we're going to be talking about courage. And when I was reading
- 3:57about the podcast and some of the questions, you know, kind of some of the courageous things
- 4:03that I've done, I just shook my head and thought that the things that I have seen, the stories
- 4:08that I have heard, I have done nothing courageous compared to the people and the courage that
- 4:13people have had to come just by coming to our doors and asking for help. So I know I'm
- 4:18talking about that. Let's start with what does courage mean to you?
- 4:22Yeah, courage is something to me that it's going into something that is an unknown. Walking
- 4:33into a situation that you just don't know what the outcome is going to be. It's about
- 4:39being brave. It's about overcoming something that, again, you just, you don't know the
- 4:48outcome. Yeah. Okay, love that. I'm actually making notes of this because I'm going to
- 4:57start creating some courage cards with everybody's definition of courage, because everybody's
- 5:01different, which is really cool. So yeah, so, you know, I mentioned that I met you because
- 5:08of my involvement in domestic violence. And then you can't we did a couple of events together.
- 5:12And I really got to her stories and became passionate about the mission and was on the
- 5:17board of directors for sheltered house for a couple of years and enjoyed that. And but
- 5:21I really liked being in the house houses and doing things. And my big aha was like living
- 5:28in Reston and there is shelters right near where I live. And there have been my entire
- 5:34life and had no idea and the awareness and not they want to divulge information about
- 5:39where about some things. But you know, there are shelters close by and people that you
- 5:45run into all day long that are in tough situations if you have no idea. And so, you know, yeah,
- 5:54we've we come from privileged world and some of the stories we've heard heard and no domestic
- 5:59violence I know was one of the causes you guys work on and also homelessness and is
- 6:06interesting with the domestic violence and things you've shared. And I know Danny shared
- 6:12with me one time about human trafficking and how prevalent it is in the area. And actually
- 6:19Todd Carter who was on here before his daughter did a fundraiser for her birthday in high
- 6:24school. And they asked me to come do some pampering for the girls and share a little
- 6:28about shelter house. And it was interesting when I talked to the high young high school
- 6:34girls about human trafficking. And I remember never forget one of the girls whipped her
- 6:37head around and said not in this area. I'm like, Oh, my goodness, yes. So we need to
- 6:42have that awareness. So why don't you talk about shelter house, the mission, courage,
- 6:47maybe some stories of people that have been courageous because, you know, part of this
- 6:52podcast I want to get out the message like how can we help and how can we get involved?
- 6:56And where do you need help? And yeah, there's definitely a need so sure. Well, I certainly
- 7:05appreciate this opportunity because there is such great need right now, especially right
- 7:10now coming off of a global pandemic, where people have been not able to escape their their
- 7:19abuser for several years now with the work from home, with people being isolated. We
- 7:25are seeing a rise in domestic violence right now. It may not be cases of domestic violence,
- 7:33but we're seeing a rise of people now fleeing domestic violence because of just being isolated
- 7:39inside the home with the abuser. So shelter house, we were we were created back in 1981.
- 7:47So just over 40 years old and we were kind of our foundation was around helping families
- 7:54who are experiencing homelessness and we started down in the Falls Church in the seven corners
- 7:59area started our first shelter in 1985. We were a very small organization in 19 in 2007
- 8:08is when Fairfax County opened up a new shelter called the Catherine Handley family shelter
- 8:12and it was a family shelter we were awarded the contract to operate that. So again, I
- 8:17just want to kind of fast forward through all of this of how we, you know, kind of the evolution
- 8:21of shelter house and what we have seen and some of the best practices that we have used
- 8:25in order to make the impact that we have been in the community. And then of course get to
- 8:29some of the stories. But it was in, you know, through constant assessment of what is causing
- 8:35homelessness in our community. There is a there's a lot of different reasons why people
- 8:41become homeless. Their homelessness is not the issue in itself, right? It's all of the
- 8:45all of the contributing factors. There's mental health, there's medical, there are people
- 8:51going through a divorce, there is alcohol and dependence on substances. There is just the,
- 9:01you know, being being a victim of poverty and growing up through the system. And then
- 9:06there's domestic violence and we had we saw that nearly 50% of the people who were experiencing
- 9:12homelessness had some type of domestic violence history in their background, whether they
- 9:18were currently experiencing domestic violence, whether they were a child witness to domestic
- 9:23violence, or whether they grew up in a home around, you know, with with domestic violence.
- 9:28And it was at that time, where we saw those direct parallels between domestic violence
- 9:35and homelessness. And in 2010, we were awarded the contract to run Artemis House, as you
- 9:41mentioned before, Artemis House being the only 24 seven domestic violence shelter in
- 9:47Fairfax County, which is crazy, which is great. Yeah, we have about 85 beds for for people
- 9:55experiencing or people fleeing domestic violence. And that that actually increased when we took
- 10:00over the contract in 2010, we had 37 beds and now we're up to 85 beds. But you also look
- 10:06at a county that has over a million people in in the county. And you're looking at the,
- 10:14you know, a statistic that they say, you know, about one in four women experienced domestic
- 10:19violence in their lifetime. And we have 85 beds in the county. So where the need is right
- 10:25now, like I said, we have 85 beds that we have slated for victims of domestic violence
- 10:31for people fleeing domestic violence. And I will tell you right now, we are over double
- 10:36capacity right now today, in our domestic violence shelters, we have people in hotels
- 10:43that we are trying to just get out of dangerous situations, life threatening situations, you
- 10:51know, preventing homicides, we just had, you know, not we, but you know, the community
- 10:57just suffered one in Falls Church, a couple days ago that you probably saw on the news,
- 11:03a domestic violence homicide, we are here, this is, you know, this is why I really appreciate
- 11:10this opportunity, Leslie, because we need to let people know we're here. And if people
- 11:15don't, right, and if people if people know we're here, you know, you can you can see
- 11:21us on shelterhouse.org get all the information call 911, you'll not 911, you'll get directly
- 11:26routed to us if you're, you know, talking about a domestic violence situation. But there's
- 11:31a lot of ways to get to us. And it's just making sure that people are aware that there
- 11:38are services out there for people experiencing and people fleeing domestic violence for us.
- 11:44Yeah, and you just never know, and it's not a demographic, it's not an age, it's not a
- 11:49color, it's not a ethnicity, it's every but you just never know. And I was actually, because
- 11:55of my involvement, I'm so grateful that I've been involved with you and listened to you
- 11:58and we had a couple events I mentioned, that you came and spoke and just the awareness.
- 12:03And I think we had Sheriff, can Kate at one event to and just sharing that you do awareness
- 12:12like you would think in Northern Virginia and this elite area that that wouldn't happen
- 12:16and like the human traffic and I remember Danny told me they went into two neighborhoods
- 12:20in Great Falls, which had a very affluent area, two houses in the same neighborhood and pulled
- 12:24out girls. And that's just scary. So I think, you know, that awareness letting people know
- 12:29and you just never know who it's going to be in the homelessness too. I know somebody
- 12:34a very middle class, successful family, everything was good and the husband became an alcoholic.
- 12:42And he was homeless for nine months and living out of his car and most people didn't know,
- 12:49but you just never know. So we don't want to judge but we want to be able to give people
- 12:54access and know how to help people. And, you know, people do survive and come out and I
- 13:01know you guys have a lot of resources to help people. I know the Mary Kay involvement that
- 13:06we have a charitable foundation that helps fight domestic violence and cancers that affect
- 13:09women, they've given over $50 million to fight domestic violence and they did training with
- 13:14us saying, as consultants going into women's homes to be aware, and actually had a campaign
- 13:20where they were putting help lines in an empty lipstick tube. So women could, you know, if
- 13:28you notice, and I actually had an instance, I think I reached out to you about that I
- 13:33was just talking to some friends and I just sensed this woman was having some issues and
- 13:39I could tell it may not have been physical, but it was definitely a mental thing. And
- 13:43then a couple weeks later, her friend that I had met her with called me and said, I'm
- 13:48looking for a place, a friend's looking for a place and I'm like, is it such and such?
- 13:52She's like, how did you know? And I'm like, because of my awareness, I was a pick up those
- 13:56things. So why don't we talk about some courage, some things you've seen not to scare people,
- 14:02but people that have done courageous things and then come out the other side and been
- 14:06successful. Yeah, so, so again, Leslie, like you said, it's not to scare people. This is
- 14:10real. You know, this is real life with real people that are that are coming through our
- 14:15doors and I will say kind of two separate examples of this. And first is, you know, probably
- 14:22what most people will think of are the people that are coming to our doors, people that
- 14:27are picking up the phone and calling us saying we need to get out of me, me and my children
- 14:32need to get out of this, this abusive relationship. And that's happening every single day. There
- 14:40are courageous men and women who are coming to us. We don't just serve women experiencing
- 14:45domestic violence, we also serve men who are experiencing domestic violence. The majority
- 14:50are are either single women or single lead or single lead families by by women. So I
- 14:59would say every single one of these women that are coming to us are courageous. We've had
- 15:03people come to us through the through the police department, who are trans transported
- 15:15by the police department who go into the homes we have very close relationships with the
- 15:20domestic violence detectives within Fairfax County Police Department do partnerships
- 15:24with them. But I will say, we have, we've also been notified of people who are roaming
- 15:33around the streets, who have been sheltered in their own home, who did not speak the language.
- 15:43And this person actually was found walking around rest in, having no idea where to go.
- 15:50And this individual lived lived in quotes in rest in for more than five years, outside.
- 15:58We finally got outside walking around, had no idea where to go. Didn't know the area,
- 16:06didn't speak the language. We finally found out through the the police department's help
- 16:14that she was a victim of domestic violence, that she was being held against her will.
- 16:20She came to us at Artemis House, and she was in our shelter now this is not a typical case,
- 16:26but she was in our shelter for over a year. Because that's how much help she needed.
- 16:32He had zero life skills. She came into a place that she had no idea where she was going.
- 16:40She had complete strangers trying to help her. She didn't understand the language you
- 16:44talk about courage. It would have been very easy to go back to the lifestyle that she
- 16:50was used to, which was being held against her will. That's where domestic violence is
- 16:59so challenging sometimes. It's because of the power and control that the person who's
- 17:08doing harm has over the victim. Where the victim is so manipulated that they feel like
- 17:16this and co-co-co-coheres that this feels like the way of life.
- 17:21That's their reality.
- 17:23And that is their reality. So the courage that people have to stand up for themselves
- 17:29and their children to leave that situation, where so many times the person that is doing
- 17:35harm has financial control over them. Over 90% of domestic violence cases, it starts with
- 17:44financial abuse and mental abuse. And then it comes to physical abuse. So when you have
- 17:54lost the control of finances, you never had control of maybe the decisions that you're
- 18:03making. Then you start having children. Now you have a family to be able to up and leave
- 18:12for the betterment of yourself is extremely difficult and extremely courageous. And that's
- 18:22why I defined courage the way that I did because I can see the people that are coming to us,
- 18:28coming into a place that they have no idea about. They have no idea what the shelter looks
- 18:33like. They have no idea if they're going to have a bed to sleep in, which they do. They
- 18:38have no idea what they're going to do for food. They have no idea what they're going
- 18:41to do for the kids for school. It's all the unknowns of leaving your house, leaving the
- 18:48abuse to go where you're fairly stable. Even though you're being abused, there's stability
- 18:54there because of the kids school, because of the food on the table, because of the financial
- 19:00stability. But again, it's not healthy. So the courage that people have to leave that
- 19:05situation come to us and have a life free of violence is just so courageous.
- 19:12You can imagine. I'll say this. And then the second part of that that I really want to
- 19:18get to that I want people to understand are the people that work for shelterhouse. So
- 19:24many of the individuals that work for shelterhouse have experienced homelessness or domestic
- 19:32violence. So many of them are still dealing with the trauma. The PTSD that they have experienced
- 19:43in their lifetime. And that's why I say I come from a privileged life. I come from a
- 19:49intact family able bodied white male where I need to make sure that I use the privilege
- 19:58that I have first understand the privilege that I have and also be a voice for people
- 20:02that haven't had the same experiences that I've had. But I also need to learn from the
- 20:07people who have had those experience. And the people that come to us that work for us
- 20:12that have have real life experience and that lived experience in domestic violence and
- 20:17homelessness are so valuable to this organization, because they know what it takes to get out
- 20:23of the situations. They are sometimes still dealing with the situations that that they
- 20:30were brought through. So when you come to it when you know when we're talking about courage
- 20:35and talking about the courageous acts, the people working for shelterhouse, I again,
- 20:41it's still it's why I do what I did. I've been doing this for 21 years. It's why I do
- 20:45what I do. Because the people that are working for us, literally the heroes that are working
- 20:52within our communities to pull people out of these situations out of homelessness and
- 20:57out of dangerous situations to get them back on their feet.
- 20:59Right. I had no idea that people working there had were affected by. But that makes total
- 21:06sense that they're passionate about it. But I can only imagine the triggers and yes. Yeah.
- 21:13So scary, just and I know one time you came and spoke at an event and this kind of stuck
- 21:17with me and talking about, OK, how can we help as a community? Like, what are some things
- 21:24we should look for and be able to connect and help people? Because I know it can be
- 21:31a scary situation. And if you're a domestic violence situation, the attack around my wife,
- 21:36how do you refer pretty much controls and people have a hard time getting out of the
- 21:43house out of situations? They're checking their communication. And how do they find out how?
- 21:50I guess, you know, we talked about one time, as I mentioned at an event and you're like,
- 21:55OK, if somebody is next door, a neighbor is shooting somebody, you would call the police.
- 21:59But if there's a domestic violence situation, we don't always say something. So share how
- 22:03people can identify, see what we should look for and then how we can help people.
- 22:09Yeah. Yeah, I always used kind of that story around, you know, if there is a person experiencing
- 22:17homelessness who is sleeping in your backyard, what would you do? And typically, you know,
- 22:22typical person would say, well, I'm going to pick it up, I'm going to go out and try
- 22:25to help the person tell them, but you can't stay here. They don't leave. You're going
- 22:29to call the police. If your next door neighbor is experiencing domestic violence, we typically
- 22:38don't call it domestic violence right away. They're having marital issues. Right. Even
- 22:43though in the back of our head, we know or we are expecting that this person is being
- 22:50abused, whether it's mentally, whether it's physically. And what do we do in most cases?
- 22:56We don't say anything because it's within their four walls. It's marital issues. Let
- 23:01them deal with it. We don't want to get involved. And that's the last thing that the persons
- 23:05that that people want. We need to recognize the signs of domestic violence. If we are
- 23:13working in our companies, our coworkers, if we're leaders within our companies, we have
- 23:18to understand what the signs of domestic violence are. If you have employees or if you have
- 23:24coworkers who are high performers and all of a sudden are starting to come in to work
- 23:29a little late, or they're just shutting down, they're not talking, or during conversations,
- 23:35when you're talking about the fun weekends or the things about your spouses or about
- 23:40your boyfriends, and they shut down and they don't talk about any of that. If you know
- 23:45that they're married, if they, you know, if you know, if they have a boyfriend, we, there's
- 23:52there's signs, you know, within just markings on people. We need to be able to ask questions.
- 23:59We need to be able to, you know, for instance, one of my neighbors came to me and said, you
- 24:07know, Joe, I was with one of our other neighbors. And we were at the grocery store and, you
- 24:12know, together and we were in line together. And she had to pick up the phone and she had
- 24:16to call her husband to tell her how much the bill was going to be so he could transfer
- 24:21money over to her account. Wow. He said, is this normal? And you don't live, I mean,
- 24:26we live in a very affluent nice neighborhood. Yes. Yes. And anytime they were out, she
- 24:35had to ask permission or he had to know where she was. So this was so so my other neighbor,
- 24:39she was picking up on this. So again, when it, you know, when we're talking about abuse,
- 24:45we're not just talking about the physical abuse of people, it starts way before that.
- 24:52And this individual was being abused. And it started with financial abuse where she
- 24:58was not allowed to have any money in her account beyond what she was sending on on that. So
- 25:07it's signs like that. And you know, we were very grateful that she, you know, that my
- 25:11neighbor was able to pick up on that. And then she was able to talk to her and just
- 25:15ask her questions. We don't want to be invasive, of course, but we want to be able to ask
- 25:20questions. We want to be able to open our doors. It's simple things like I'm not sure
- 25:26I, I'm not sure exactly what you're going through, but our doors open for you.
- 25:30Yeah. And just a simple question like that. I'm not accusing anybody of anything, right?
- 25:36Because people can get very defensive of their person who's doing harm to them also. But
- 25:42we can just simply say, you know, I don't know exactly what you're going through. We
- 25:47are here for you. And we're going to leave our door open for you. Yeah. But again, it's
- 25:52just it's, it's the signs. It's the it's, it's the non accusatory way of approaching
- 26:00somebody just to say, I'm here if you need me. Yeah. It's also we know, we know so many
- 26:07more people that have experienced domestic violence than we even know we know.
- 26:12Right. Well, and I say one out of four. Yes. So scary, like you're in a big room and like,
- 26:18all right, look beside you and
- 26:20Yes. So even for people who have experienced domestic violence or a child witness domestic
- 26:25violence, because that's a big one too. So many of the people that come to us have been
- 26:30child witnesses of domestic violence. And now they are victims of domestic violence
- 26:34also. Again, our staff, our staff that come to us, they were not abused, but in, in their
- 26:41childhood, they were a child witness domestic violence. And that sometimes is even worse.
- 26:46Yeah. You know, they say, and it's true that you know, the physical harm that people do
- 26:51to you, you can heal from the mental harm that people do, you will not. So we have to
- 27:00you know, our mental health around, around everything right now, mental, we're talking
- 27:05a lot about mental health. But when it comes to the, you know, the, the trauma that people
- 27:11are suffering from through abuse is, is just extraordinary. We have to be able to as business
- 27:19leaders, as friends, as co workers, as family members, we cannot ignore what is going on.
- 27:28You could always call our, our hotline. And again, you can go to our website at shelterhouse.org.
- 27:34And, and, you know, get the number and resources.
- 27:38And we'll share all your how to connect with you and the organizations.
- 27:43Yes, please.
- 27:44Yeah, it's awareness. It's, you know, and I know the events we did together were so
- 27:49good and people were just amazed at what they heard. And I think getting the word out and
- 27:54letting people know that there are resources and, and then how can we help, you know, by
- 27:59identifying, but then also resources to help the houses. I know Christmas time, I do a
- 28:06program called adopt mom and I've donated things, but really sometimes if I have extra,
- 28:11I hold on to them because I've literally been into Artemis house, walking over piles of
- 28:18stuff. People are so generous, but then in February, you know, people kind of forget.
- 28:23So being able to help, I know one event that we did was, and this was just eyeopening that
- 28:28food stamps are, I know I called snapped out does not color any cover any feminine hygiene.
- 28:36Right.
- 28:37I like, and we're, I was talking to a friend like they don't cover diapers, baby formula.
- 28:41So I know we did like a tampon drive one time, you know, simple things that you don't think
- 28:46about that people could use. One of the things when I've been into the shelters doing makeovers,
- 28:51one thing the ladies have always asked and now I've prepared is they want the mirror
- 28:55that I give them and like a simple thing like a mirror. That's so simple and easy. But if
- 29:00you think about it, when you leave with nothing, but yourselves and the clothes on your back,
- 29:05like simple things that we take for granted.
- 29:09And it's, it's about and what we really try to do is around dignity and getting people's
- 29:16dignity back to them. And as you mentioned that that mirror, it gave me that image of
- 29:23dignity where somebody can look at themselves again with what you all have done, you know,
- 29:29on Mother's Day, you all come through, you know, on Mother's Day and do the gifts and
- 29:33the makeovers and everything on Mother's Day for us. And I know that the people who are
- 29:37coming to our programs really enjoy that. But being able to be made over and just have
- 29:42some of that makeup on and be able to look at themselves in that mirror is the dignity
- 29:47that they need.
- 29:49We just had an amazing event yesterday with Fairfax County Sheriff's Department and Sheriff
- 29:55Stacy Kincaid, who is just amazing. She did shop with the sheriff yesterday with the kids
- 30:02and our mentors. And they went to Target. They have a pizza party and they go to Target
- 30:07and Burke for a couple of hours and they have 35 to 40 deputies work with 35 to 40 of our
- 30:15children who are in their shelters. And they each have $250 and they shop with the sheriff's
- 30:21deputies to go around to get school clothes, to get shoes, to get supplies, to get all
- 30:25the things that they need for their first days of school. When we're talking about dignity
- 30:30and being able to walk into school with a new pair of shoes on, to walk into school on
- 30:36that first day with new clothes on, it just, you know, it takes the burden off of the parent
- 30:43to say, what are we going to do for our kids? But it also takes the burden off of the child
- 30:47who's walking in the school who may feel different already, but they don't have to. They have
- 30:51that dignity of walking in on that first day with new stuff.
- 30:56I love seeing that event. And I was actually, I was listening to the radio this morning
- 31:01and they were talking about going back to school and advice for kids and parents. And
- 31:08one person wrote in and it was, I want to find it, but she had a poem basically, but
- 31:14it was like, you know, when, as kids going into school, you know, go there to learn not
- 31:19to judge, not to compare, you know, if the kid comes in and wears the exact same pair
- 31:24of shoes every day, who cares? And, you know, if their lunch is different, then don't judge
- 31:29and be friendly. And, you know, it starts there and it starts educating kids. Well, we
- 31:33could talk forever and ever and ever and ever. And speaking of Sheriff Kincaid, I just love
- 31:39her and how connected she is. And like, I've met her once or twice, but she would not know
- 31:44me walking down the street, but we're connected on Facebook. And every year on my birthday,
- 31:48she sent me a private message, wish me happy birthday. Like, I need to, I need, maybe you
- 31:54can connect us and get her interview her on here, because I think she would be a great
- 31:58person. So what encouragement would you have for someone to be courageous or say, why not
- 32:04today?
- 32:05You know, I would, why not today? One, you may not see tomorrow in so many ways. You may
- 32:17not get tomorrow if you don't do it today. And so many people who have come to us, who
- 32:25have made the life changing decision to get help, whether it be help because of an abusive
- 32:33relationship that you're in help because you're on the verge of homelessness, help because
- 32:39you have suicidal ideation help because you need, you know, the mental health help. Or
- 32:49just decisions that you've been holding off on, you may not get tomorrow if you don't
- 32:56today.
- 32:57That is so true. And that's why I'm living by this motto. So I always try to say, what
- 33:02is your connection, my dad, and people read that question like, I never met meet your
- 33:06dad and not necessarily ever met him. But I always like to wait till the end to see,
- 33:10okay, all the places you connected. Well, obviously, giving back to community, which
- 33:15was a big part that he was invested in, especially the resting community, which you're doing
- 33:21such a big thing with. But so I know before you're at shelter, you're at Embry Rucker
- 33:26shelter. And my dad was very involved with that. And actually, I think somewhat instrumental
- 33:31in getting that going. And of course, Embry Rucker was a good friend of his member as
- 33:35a kid, seeing him and he was he had a church that he ran at Lake Ann. It was almost like
- 33:40God. And then the Kate Hanley shelter, you're part of that. Of course, Kate Hanley was a
- 33:46friend of my father's also and he was connected with her and the community. And then kind
- 33:51of a fun connection for us is I remember one of the first times you spoke. And my friend
- 33:57Teresa, who was actually a guest on the podcast, a month or so ago, she I was talking to her,
- 34:03she's like, what are you doing with Joe? I'm like, what do you mean? What am I doing with
- 34:06Joe? She's like, I'm like, how do you know Joe? She's like, he was my next door neighbor.
- 34:11You hung out with them. I'm like, Oh, my goodness, I never put all that together. So small little
- 34:17world connection. You just never know. And so I'm grateful for all that we've been able
- 34:22to do. And I may share as part of this post, I think I mentioned to you before I started
- 34:27that my help with the community and with Shelter House and Adopt-a-Mom, I was actually
- 34:34honored with Best of Rest and Award several years ago. And you spoke on the video or a
- 34:39big part of the video talking about Shelter House and everything we've done together. So
- 34:42make sure that with that. So yeah, so it's been great to have you on. As I said, we could
- 34:47talk forever and ever. And you know what I'd love if you have somebody that's gone through
- 34:51the system on the other side, that it wouldn't be a confidentiality thing or somebody that
- 34:57I'd love to be able to share their story. There's actually a story of somebody Mary Kaye. Mary
- 35:01Kaye actually did a PBS special about domestic violence. And they did it in English and Spanish,
- 35:08but there was a woman that thinks she was out of Virginia Beach and was in a domestic
- 35:11violence shelter. And through her, Mary Kaye director was able to flee and go to California.
- 35:21And she was in a shelter there and had no money, but she had a Mary Kaye business. And
- 35:26so she would literally go to do an appointment, have that she had no car, the taxi would take
- 35:30her, she'd stop at the bank to cash her checks from whatever she sold to pay the taxi to
- 35:34get home before her kids got home and was able to through Mary Kaye and the help of
- 35:39a shelter earn a car, buy a house and it's a huge success now. So you just never know.
- 35:45That's right. Yeah. So thanks again for being on and we will share your information. And
- 35:52I'll have you send me info so people can connect with you. So it's great to have you on and
- 35:57of course see you. It's been a long time since I've seen you. I guess I saw you for a minute
- 36:01at the cornerstones event, but thanks again for sharing your story. Thanks everybody for
- 36:06listening. You can find us on Spotify and iTunes and everywhere else. We release a new
- 36:12podcast every other Saturday and have not missed one yet. I'm excited about that. And
- 36:18we're working on a website and we're going to have merchandise cups and t-shirts because
- 36:22we're going to start a movement that says why not today? So thanks again, Joe. It's been
- 36:25a pleasure to chat with you and let's get some help for Shelter House and awareness out
- 36:30there. Thank you, Leslie. You're welcome. Thank you.