Latest / The Woody Show / HIGHTLIGHT The Woody Show October 23rd 2025 Podcast

Transcript

HIGHTLIGHT The Woody Show October 23rd 2025 Podcast · The Woody Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: What is.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: Weird the show? And Greg Fitzsimmons is here.
• 0:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, thank you for coming in and being here,
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: and you know, always like having you on the show.
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: And I mean, look, I like the vibe. The vibe
• 0:17
  Speaker 3: is a good, is a good. Fit is a good
• 0:19
  Speaker 3: it's a good hang. It's always it's always fun, great storyteller.
• 0:23
  Speaker 3: Who do you think is really killing it right now?
• 0:24
  Speaker 3: As far as comedy goes, who are the guys in
• 0:27
  Speaker 3: your opinion? Like, we like your comedy, so like who
• 0:30
  Speaker 3: do you like?
• 0:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah? Who do you think?
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: David tal is always to me the best comedian in
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: the country. He has been for twenty years and if
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you get a chance to see him.
• 0:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, especially since I mean he's a club comic.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: I mean, Luis c K to me is the best
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: comedian period in the last really twenty years.
• 0:47
  Speaker 2: But he's a theater comic.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Okay, David's comic is David is a down in dirty
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: basement comic.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Yeah, who riffs, who messes with the crowd, whose stream
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: of consciousness and then also has the hardest, tightest comedy
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: out there.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: And then Louis is just brilliant. Yeah.
• 1:07
  Speaker 3: I didn't know much about him until he started blowing up.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Was like Shane Gillis, Oh yeah, you're a new fan
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: of his right. Anthony jessel Nick is another guy that
• 1:15
  Speaker 3: Shane love Shane.
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and then you know, you got there's some guys
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: out of New York, Mark Norman and Sam Morrell and
• 1:21
  Speaker 1: Joe List. There's a whole bunch of these guys that
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: are like, you know, a generation behind me that are
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: really really like, you know, there are people that are
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: not looking to parlay comedy into a TV career or whatever.
• 1:34
  Speaker 1: They just are pure road comics.
• 1:36
  Speaker 2: Yeah. You know what keeps popping up to is uh
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: uh British Jimmy Carr. Yeah, that's amazing. The dude he's sharp,
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: he's so dare and.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: If you hear him in interviews, he's like, you know,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: these British comics they make me ashamed because they're just
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: they're just like I had a guy on uh the
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: other day on my podcast Bridge something Bridge, and like.
• 2:04
  Speaker 2: Wait, he was on your show and you can't remember
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: his name. I don't remember anything. Like tomorrow somebody said,
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: who was on mc creigh. No, I literally I don't.
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: I don't remember something. It's yeah something, I.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: Know it's on a Goldfish Ash every last so funny,
• 2:21
  Speaker 1: and he's like he learned different languages and he performs
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: in different languages, and it's like, you know, I I
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: just want to, you know, touch myself and sleep and
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: then go do the show.
• 2:32
  Speaker 2: Yeah, when I'm on the road.
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: Yeah, we could check out fitz Dog Radio podcast. It's
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: a it's available. We can get right there on the
• 2:39
  Speaker 3: website Greg Fitzsimmons dot com.
• 2:41
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 2:41
  Speaker 3: I see these guys or like the Jimmy Carr thing,
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: and just in general, I'm always impressed by comedians. Is
• 2:47
  Speaker 3: it is it hard? Like what's the hardest part? Is
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: it just being on the road part? And then the
• 2:52
  Speaker 3: comedy part is just a talent either have or you
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: don't have?
• 2:56
  Speaker 2: Or Yeah, I.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: Say they I I do comedy for free, but they
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: pay me to travel.
• 3:01
  Speaker 2: Yeah that makes sense. I was just in Vegas last week.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Brad Garrett has a club and at the MGM, and
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: it's a beautiful club and Brad comes down and does
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: some of the shows and he is the greatest guy
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: of all time.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: He just is super generous.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Like last time I was there, it was Valentine's Day
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: and we couldn't find a table because it was Vegas,
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: and and so Brad got us a separate room in
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: the best restaurant at the MGM. We had our own
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: there's like a speakeasy room that opens later. He had
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: them open it just for us. We had our own waiter.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Uh picked up the check at.
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: The end of the meetum there he just like gave
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: me a huge bonus, took me out gambling and just
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: kept throwing hundreds in front of me. And and he's
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: just really and he's just he's just the greatest guy.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: But anyway, it's seven nights and you know, you real,
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: like Vegas is a horrible place and you go there
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: and it's just like, you know, I'm gambling. I'm playing, Uh,
• 4:03
  Speaker 1: I'm playing blackjack because I figured how much can I
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: lose playing blackjacket?
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: A lot?
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: A lot.
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: When you get the dealer, you know, the dealer who's
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: like from some southeastern Pacific island you've never heard of.
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: She's got like nine vowels in her name, and she
• 4:17
  Speaker 1: gets a twenty one every single time, like she's doing
• 4:20
  Speaker 1: witchcraft and stuff. At what point she gets a two
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: and then a three and then a sixteen of spades,
• 4:28
  Speaker 1: I'm like, wait, car, you want to play again, and
• 4:34
  Speaker 1: I walk out to see a picture on the wall
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: employee of the month.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: That's not what you want. Yeah, she's their best table person.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: And then you've got like seven nights a week is
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: Saturday night there, and you see gaggles of women. Is
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: it called a gaggle, geane the gaggle. Yeah, once it's
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: over three, it's a gaggle. And on their way out,
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: they've got on you know, five inch heels, the hairs.
• 4:57
  Speaker 2: Up, the sparkles. They're ready to go out.
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: I see them after the show on their way home
• 5:02
  Speaker 1: and the shoes are in the hand. I thought that
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: means you can't hit on those girls anymore. They're out
• 5:09
  Speaker 1: of the game. They're still on the field, but they're
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: out of the game. It's like paintball. If someone's got
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: a splatter on them, you can't shoot them again. Yeah
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: it's a football player. Yeah, the football player after the game.
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: He he's carrying like the jersey that still has the
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: pads and yeah, like he's not ready to go in
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: and play anymore. So it's just really like, because I
• 5:28
  Speaker 1: think every time.
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: I see comedians or talk didn't hang out, you know,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: with comedians, it just seems like everybody's always having fun,
• 5:35
  Speaker 3: right you see it that way?
• 5:37
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like because like, uh, okay, last time that I
• 5:41
  Speaker 3: saw you not in this environment was at Burt Kreischer's
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: event in Pittsburgh at the PBG Paints Arena and he
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: had like this big like after party thing, and a
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: bunch of Steelers players.
• 5:53
  Speaker 2: Were there, and all these other dudes were there, and
• 5:55
  Speaker 2: like everybody's just kind of hanging out and having a
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: good time.
• 5:57
  Speaker 3: And that's when you know, Greg and I were just
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: sitting there chopping it up and everything, and it's just
• 6:02
  Speaker 3: they'll do it again tomorrow after after the next show,
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: just wherever they're at. It will be a different group
• 6:06
  Speaker 3: of friends or people that are fans that come by
• 6:09
  Speaker 3: to this like after party that Joey always seems to
• 6:12
  Speaker 3: be having the best time.
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: With him in Pittsburgh all day and all we did
• 6:18
  Speaker 5: is go shopping and practici.
• 6:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, you're more like you're more on the
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: quiet side, like you're not throwing like a big after
• 6:25
  Speaker 3: party after.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, Well that makes it more different. I really I
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: struggle on the road.
• 6:30
  Speaker 5: Have you tried not having it?
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: Have you just tried not having it?
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Actually is the answer. I mean it literally is just
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: sometimes you just got to go. I just don't feel
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: this way right now.
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, just don't don't act this way.
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: And but you know, uh, I just when I'm on
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: the road, it's just like I've got my Wow, this
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: is really heavy. But no, I mean I I have
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: fun like I'm married, but like I will have sex
• 6:59
  Speaker 1: with waitresses like that, and then I don't drink.
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: But when I go on the road, I'll drink. Oh
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: it doesn't count. No, I'm just that's kind of like
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: when cigarettes don't count.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, when you're sober and you're not screwing around
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: your wife. Like this is just not that much because
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: the staff will be like, hey, we're going out to
• 7:17
  Speaker 1: the you know, the the whatever bar, and I'm like,
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: for what, I don't drink.
• 7:22
  Speaker 2: I'm not going to hit on it. This is going
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: to only lead to trouble.
• 7:26
  Speaker 3: Are you an anti social person? Like outside of it,
• 7:29
  Speaker 3: I'm extremely social. Like I live in Veniceon.
• 7:32
  Speaker 1: My neighborhood is very social and we have the I
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: mean we raised kids together and I've had friendships for
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: twenty five years with the same like ten couples and
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: we play beach volleyball every Sunday, we have poker nights,
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: dinner parties. We just you just walk in and out
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: of each other's houses. And so that's cool. But maybe
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: like on the road hanging I'm not social at all.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: Comedy club like you're like, that's the part. Like it's
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: like hanging out co workers. Like when they have these
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: little they try to force everybody here to friends, like
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: with other stations pizza.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: It's not that you don't like these people. It's fine,
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: but it's like if it's a choice between I can
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: be at my house, I can go home now, or
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: I can hang out here for the free pizza in
• 8:12
  Speaker 3: the iHeartRadio sweatshirt, they're gonna be raffling off.
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: People always go like how is Cincinnati? And I'll just
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: go like is that where I was? Like, I went
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: from the airport to the hotel to the club and
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: that's it. But then I went to Alaska. This is insane.
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: I was in Alaska two weeks ago and I'm not
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: making up a word of this stone what part Fairbanks? Okay,
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: because we just went on a Disney Alaska cruise. Oh
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: I love Juno's my face. So I get there and
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: uh and I'm there for like three nights. So I
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: say to the guy that owns the theater, I go,
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: I'd love to do something fun during the day. So
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: he calls me back and he goes, I got this
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: guy and he is like from this famous outdoorsy family.
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: They've got a company that's had like ATVs and snowmobiles
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: for generations, and he's a huge fan of yours and
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: he wants to take you out and you have an adventure.
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: So now I'm kind of intimidating because I grew up
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: in New York. I've been living in LA I'm soft
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: and these guys are you know, these are the guys
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: who shake you want to crush every finger in Your're like,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: all right, you're not gay.
• 9:16
  Speaker 2: I get it.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: And so now I'm like, all right, I'm gonna be wet.
• 9:21
  Speaker 1: I know I'm gonna get wet today and I'm gonna
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: be cold. But then I was like, all right, man up,
• 9:25
  Speaker 1: just man up, like you said, don't be depressed. So
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: the guy picks me up and he's in a monster truck.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: The wheels are as tall.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: As I am, and he's he's hauling like a dune
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: buggy that's covered in mud, and so I get in
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: and he but he but he's like this gentle guy.
• 9:42
  Speaker 1: He's retired, he's selling the business. He's moving down to Mexico.
• 9:45
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, all right, I think I'm I think
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: I'm in safe fans. He seems like a really decent guy.
• 9:49
  Speaker 1: He's talking about his wife and his kids. So we're
• 9:52
  Speaker 1: driving down looking at the Alaska Pipeline because I've never
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: seen it before. So we're on like a side street
• 9:57
  Speaker 1: and then a police siren goes off and I was like, what,
• 10:02
  Speaker 1: I go, you didn't do anything.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: He goes, this is bad. I'm like, what do you mean?
• 10:07
  Speaker 2: This is bad? He goes, this is bad. I go what.
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: So the cop starts walking up to us, and he
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: takes a plastic baggie with white powder and he hands
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: it to me and he goes get rid of this
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: and it spills.
• 10:20
  Speaker 2: Some of it spills on my.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: Pants, so I knoff it under the seat in the back.
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: The cop walks up. He goes, huge, dude, He goes
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: license a registration. So the guy goes, get my registration
• 10:31
  Speaker 1: out of the glove coupbox. I open it up, and
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: a baggie with pills and one hundred dollars bills starts
• 10:36
  Speaker 1: falling out. I shove it back in with my hand.
• 10:39
  Speaker 1: I cover it with paper, and the cop goes, what
• 10:41
  Speaker 1: are you hiding? So what are you hiding? So I
• 10:45
  Speaker 1: hand him the bag of drugs. So now I'm an
• 10:47
  Speaker 1: accessory to a felony, and so the cop grabs. He goes,
• 10:52
  Speaker 1: both of you, put your hands on the dashboard. So
• 10:55
  Speaker 1: I got my hands on the dashboard and I'm and
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: the cop takes his life and then he goes back
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: to the car to run it comes back and he goes, sir,
• 11:03
  Speaker 1: do you know you have an outstanding felony warrant?
• 11:06
  Speaker 2: And he goes yeah. I go, yeah, you doing it?
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: Why did the theater run a seven? So then the
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: guy goes uh.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: He goes, are there any firearms in the car? I'm
• 11:18
  Speaker 1: sure this rocket launcher here somewhere, and he says no,
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: there's not. And so then the cop takes the guy
• 11:26
  Speaker 1: out of the car and he cuffs him right in
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: front of me, and he uh, he pats him down,
• 11:32
  Speaker 1: and then he.
• 11:32
  Speaker 2: Takes him back to the car and he puts them
• 11:33
  Speaker 2: in the back of the car.
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: And I'm sitting there going like I got a show
• 11:36
  Speaker 1: in four hours. I just flew like eleven hours to
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: get up here to do the show. And so he
• 11:42
  Speaker 1: comes back and he goes and he's standing off the
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: back window. You know that power move? Yeah, And he goes,
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: uh oh, and I took my hands off the dashboard
• 11:52
  Speaker 1: at one point, and he goes.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Put your hands back on the dance. I put my
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: hands back on the dadok.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: And then he's like, he goes, I'm not coming close
• 11:59
  Speaker 1: to the car because that's fentanyl on you.
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 12:03
  Speaker 1: So now I'm frozen. And he's like, where are you from?
• 12:07
  Speaker 1: And I said California? I said, dude, I'm a comedian.
• 12:11
  Speaker 1: I said, I'm here to do his show. I met
• 12:13
  Speaker 1: this guy twenty minutes ago. And he goes, he goes,
• 12:15
  Speaker 1: oh really, he goes, I'm not buying it. Sure, he goes,
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: you're from a drug feeder state. And I don't think
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: you're a comedian because you're not funny.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm not funny.
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: Like at what point was I going too?
• 12:28
  Speaker 2: My pants are wet.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: And you don't think this is funny. I'm a great
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: bit someday. So he goes, where did you get the drugs?
• 12:37
  Speaker 1: I go the glove compartment. He goes, no, he said,
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: they're yours, and so he goes, are you feeling any
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: effects the fenceadel I go yeah, I said, I feel
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: really lightheaded. I'm freaking out. And he goes, well, I
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: have a what'sarkam in the car, So he goes, don't move.
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: He goes get out of the car, but don't stir
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: it up. So I get out and we walked back
• 13:02
  Speaker 1: to the car and uh, he opens up the back
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: door to the police car and my driver gets out
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: and then the two of them look at me and
• 13:10
  Speaker 1: they go, we're coming to see your show tonight, and
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: they start laughing.
• 13:13
  Speaker 2: The whole thing was gone, whoa fell and around.
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: I was on all fours out of relief, and also
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: I started laughing.
• 13:24
  Speaker 2: I could stop laughing. I was laughing for like ten minutes. Yeah,
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: at that point, sure, that's awesome. It was. I felt
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: like I was in training day.
• 13:35
  Speaker 3: Uncontrollable laughter is what happens in that situation right before
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: a heart attack.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Yeh, that's how you know you're about to have a
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: heart attack.
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: So we drive back to the cops house and uh,
• 13:44
  Speaker 1: he changes and then we get into the and then
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: he gets into the monster truck and we drive like
• 13:49
  Speaker 1: an hour and they take me to these hot springs
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: that they have up there, and we all get into
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: our bathing suits and we jump into this hot springs
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: and it's like it's like boiling and there's there's like
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: pockets of heat that hit you and you have to
• 14:04
  Speaker 1: like dive because so and then and then we go
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: directly into an ice building.
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: It's made out of ice.
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: It's the only Yeah, it's the only frozen building in
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: the world. And they and the guy bring the guy
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: that owns this place brings us in and he's like
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: an Alaska cowboy. And then they have a bar set
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: up and it's a it's an ice bar. It's made
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: out of ice. And then the stools have like elk fur.
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: It's like that place that you can't take pictures minutes
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: in Vegas. They always want you to pay for the photographer. Like, yeah,
• 14:42
  Speaker 2: they gave us let people do social media to get
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: so much more marketing.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and they got this ice sculpture guy who's in
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: there and uh.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: And so they sit down at the bar and they
• 14:52
  Speaker 2: start drinking.
• 14:53
  Speaker 1: They've got a tap that pours apple teenis and so
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: these guys sit down and they proceed to have like
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: seven apple teenis and I'm sitting there going like, and
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: we're telling bar jokes, like and they're the most of
• 15:06
  Speaker 1: the ones from the last yes racist right, and uh
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: so I'm sitting there watching these two guys get drunk
• 15:12
  Speaker 1: and and tell racist jokes. And then and then we
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: leave and they're stumbling and my guy gets behind the
• 15:19
  Speaker 1: wheel and I go, hey, dude, I go, why don't
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: I be.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: The Disney driver? He goes, I'm fine and I can
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: get pulled over.
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I go, dude, I go, I'm not getting in
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: this truck.
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: I go, I'm driving. So now I'm.
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: Behind the wheel of an eight ton monster truck on these.
• 15:36
  Speaker 2: Winding roads I doom buggy towing a dune buggy with.
• 15:41
  Speaker 1: Two guys laughing at me the entire time about how
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: they got. And then I get back to the hotel
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: and I was already late for the show I had
• 15:48
  Speaker 1: that night. They came to the show and hackled me
• 15:53
  Speaker 1: throughout the performance.
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: So fun Yeah, I love Fitzdog. His storytelling is so funny. Greed,
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: you can see why we love having this guy in.
• 16:02
  Speaker 3: Greg Fitzimmons is here, Ladies and gentlemen, he's gonna be
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: hosting the Best Buddies Benefit of the Comedy Store on Sunday. Uh,
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: you got a whole bunch of Craig Robinson Andrew Setina who.
• 16:13
  Speaker 1: Loves to be a big special guest. You said, right, Yeah,
• 16:17
  Speaker 1: big special guests we can announce. For tickets, go to
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: fitzdog dot com. It's f I t Z d O.
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: G dot com.
• 16:31
  Speaker 3: Three.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: All right, Greg Fitzsimmons is here.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: Check him out on his website Greg Fitzsimmons dot com,
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: Instagram at Greg Fitzsimmons Twitter.
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: Of course you can find in there.
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: Which one do you find you're putting yourself, you know,
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: most effort into, Like of all the social media, I
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: think for us it's definitely uh what.
• 16:51
  Speaker 2: Instagram and a Facebook menace? Or like I mostly do?
• 16:55
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I would say Instagram. I mean that's where we
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: have this strongest.
• 16:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: I do my Space and friends there, but I haven't
• 17:02
  Speaker 1: been to the site in a little while.
• 17:04
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Now I do Instagram. I mean I do my like
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: Instagram the most.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: I do two podcasts a week and so I put
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: those up like usually a clip from those. But I'm
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: not very active. I need to be it's stupid. It's
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: like it's the whole business now. It used to be
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: if you did the Tonight show, you could draw at
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: the clubs, and now you have to do uh social
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: media constantly, and I just I hate doing.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: It if you don't want to talk about its time.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: We're having fun here and I'm not trying to get like,
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: you know, like serious. But you weren't invited to be
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: part of that whole What was the big comedy festival?
• 17:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you were you part of that. You weren't part
• 17:42
  Speaker 2: of that that was in Vegas that weekend.
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: Yeah, No, you know, look, I I would uh, I
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: would say that going over there.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Is okay because you are bringing new ideas.
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: I mean, you're going over there into a place that
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: is shut down and not exposed to Western thought. And
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: I think I think you can justify it as long
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: as you go over there saying I'm going to talk
• 18:12
  Speaker 1: about stuff they wouldn't want me.
• 18:13
  Speaker 2: To talk about, not like be an outlaw.
• 18:16
  Speaker 1: But I would think that, you know, I'd be scared,
• 18:18
  Speaker 1: and but I would donate the money to charity, and
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: then I would I would talk about stuff that might
• 18:24
  Speaker 1: push the boundaries.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because there was man a lot of these comics
• 18:27
  Speaker 3: got lit up on that backlash. Yeah, but man, when
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: you get think about I mean, it's how it is.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Think about the average person and they have like some
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: huge chunk of chain. People go like, oh, you sold that? Well, yeah,
• 18:39
  Speaker 3: and what was it? Menas, what's that quote you always said?
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: Oh yeah, it's from Charlotte and the God. He says,
• 18:44
  Speaker 5: I can't wait to sell out because there was somebody
• 18:46
  Speaker 5: has to buy in. That means that people have to
• 18:49
  Speaker 5: like believe in you. There is behind you.
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: There's something like that. The only people who say they
• 18:53
  Speaker 3: wouldn't sell to the people who have never had the opportunity.
• 18:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, yeah.
• 18:58
  Speaker 3: I mean, look, you kDa to do what you already do.
• 19:01
  Speaker 3: But you're a plumber. Someone says, hey, man, I want
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: you to repipe my house. I normally don't go to
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: that part of town, but I think for this I will.
• 19:11
  Speaker 5: My thoughts on it is like, why are we trying
• 19:12
  Speaker 5: to go and police everybody everywhere else when we still
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: have a lot of problems here.
• 19:17
  Speaker 2: Yeah, No, it's true.
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: If you if you there's a lot of countries, which
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: countries do you decide? You know, like, what about what
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: about England? They colonize the world. They starved the Irish
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: to death during the famine.
• 19:30
  Speaker 2: It wasn't a famine. The English basically took all the
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: food out of Ireland while there was a potato like
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: there was plenty of other good crops, and they starved
• 19:39
  Speaker 2: a million people to death. And another thank you very much?
• 19:46
  Speaker 2: Am I not supposed to do? This is awesome.
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: When everybody was giving Chick fil A a bunch of
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: heat about you know, homophobia, whatever, I'm like, the chicken
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: is delicious. I separate my politics from my chicken. I
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: separate my politics and things from music or movies or
• 20:02
  Speaker 3: because if you have to agree with everything that this
• 20:05
  Speaker 3: band or whatever the people in the band like like,
• 20:08
  Speaker 3: you won't like anybody.
• 20:10
  Speaker 2: Know the KKK.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: And I'm not saying that you took out for the KKK.
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: They're bake sales believable air.
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's true for now.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: The other thing you got to check out if you
• 20:25
  Speaker 3: enjoy Greg Fitzimmons and his storytelling and his comedy.
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: It's Uh.
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: It's on YouTube. It's his latest special, it's called you
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: Know Me and Uh. Part of the new special, it's
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: you talk about how like when kids become teens, right,
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: like they think that you are so uncool. I'm kind
• 20:41
  Speaker 3: of going through that right now. My son's fifteen, my
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: daughter's thirteen, right, it's rob How old are your kids now?
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Well, now they're twenty five and twenty that seems to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: be the the best, Like you're out of the woods.
• 20:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because now that it's a the early part of
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: their adulthood where they're kind of struggling and they kind
• 20:58
  Speaker 3: of have more of an appreciation.
• 21:00
  Speaker 2: Well, I wait for my kids to struggle.
• 21:02
  Speaker 1: Now is just fun because like you know, they they
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: they're at the age where they start thinking they're smart now. Yes,
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: And so here's a conversation I had with my daughter
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: the other day. This is word for word. Hey dad,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: what'd you do today? Oh? I went on like a
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: thirty mile bike ride. She goes, look at you, Louis Armstrong.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: I said, Lance Armstrong, And she goes, is that the
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: guy that walked on the moon?
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: God? Yea stretch Armstrong? Yeah?
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Getting yeah, because man, uh, they I don't know, Like
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: I wonder sometimes like do you survive? This is like
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: I think you either it's live or die, Like getting
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: through the teenage part of parenthood.
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: Right right, Well, keeping them off drugs is really hard
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: because like both my kids got very into weed because
• 22:07
  Speaker 1: it used.
• 22:07
  Speaker 2: To be you came home and you smelt like weed. Yeah,
• 22:10
  Speaker 2: now you just eat a.
• 22:11
  Speaker 1: Gummy or you got a vape pen, right and every
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: and you know.
• 22:15
  Speaker 2: Once you know California, I saw a change.
• 22:18
  Speaker 1: My kids were teenagers when it got legalized, and all
• 22:20
  Speaker 1: of a sudden, they were just high. It just became
• 22:23
  Speaker 1: like every single adult thought it was novel to have
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: a vape pen or gummies in their sock draw and
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: you're a kid, it's the first place you go. You
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: go to your parents' sock drawer, you find the vibrators
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: and you're like mo and and so like it's just
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: it's really hard to stop it.
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: You know, there's not much you can do.
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: So the best advice, like for for something like me
• 22:47
  Speaker 3: is my wife and I. You know, we get to
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: the point where we're ready to you know, pull our
• 22:50
  Speaker 3: hair if we if we could quit these kids, we would.
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: Sometimes you know, I've said like you love them, but
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: you hate being a parent, or you can say I
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: love you, but I really don't like right now.
• 23:00
  Speaker 2: Yeah, my parents used to say that to it.
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: And I try to be I'm like, kind of the
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: more cool, calm one. My wife is the one losing
• 23:07
  Speaker 3: her mind. I know she starts fighting, dirty arguing, name calling.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: The same with the kids.
• 23:12
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, she'll get into it. I got to like
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: sometimes like.
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Oh, you have sons and daughters. My son is fifteen,
• 23:19
  Speaker 1: my daughter's thirteen, so I really have a rough time.
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: From thirteen to eighteen is really hard.
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: But like right now, it's my son and my daughter
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: who are because they are the same person, and so
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: they have to have these So any kind of advice
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: you have, I will I will accept because I just.
• 23:35
  Speaker 1: Think you know something you have to You have to
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: make them feel like they can talk to you about anything.
• 23:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah they can, that's true.
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I just think you can't be judgmental,
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: you can't be authoritarian. I mean, this is the new
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: school of parenting. Some people think that this is wrong,
• 23:52
  Speaker 1: that you should, you know, be really strict with your kid.
• 23:54
  Speaker 2: You're an old Irish cow. You got your ass kicked.
• 23:56
  Speaker 3: I got my ass kicked, I got b right, and
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: you wish you could still do that. The other day,
• 24:02
  Speaker 3: I'm like, wouldn't it be great like in the old days,
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: Like we just beat the crap out of here.
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, and be done with it.
• 24:07
  Speaker 4: I got the beatings and the.
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: All of it, the silent hate what he loves it.
• 24:17
  Speaker 2: That was more debilitating than my father used to beat me.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: But I would have taken that over a week of
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: neither parents speaking a word to me.
• 24:27
  Speaker 2: I mean, think about what that. Absolutely.
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: My mom gave me the silent treatment once for a week.
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: My dad was out of town on business and for
• 24:34
  Speaker 4: one week, not one word we've spoken. It was the
• 24:38
  Speaker 4: most awkward and the worst feeling in the world. You
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: talk about depression is when you don't want to be
• 24:44
  Speaker 4: where you are. I just wanted to be somewhere else,
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: and I'm a kid, I'm at home. It's not like, hey,
• 24:48
  Speaker 4: I'll be at my weekend place.
• 24:50
  Speaker 6: Yeah, and you're stuck at home with a mother who
• 24:53
  Speaker 6: won't speak to you. It's in that situation, okay. But now, Greg,
• 24:57
  Speaker 6: as as a married dude and your wife's Matt and
• 25:01
  Speaker 6: she gives you a silent treatment, is that not awesome?
• 25:04
  Speaker 6: That's fantastic, right, you want to be There's a switch
• 25:08
  Speaker 6: that happens at some point in your life where like
• 25:10
  Speaker 6: getting the silent treatment goes from when you're a kid.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: It sucks to it rules and you're like, what did
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: I do? But let me know, I want to do
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: this again.
• 25:19
  Speaker 1: It's okay to have that, But I really do believe
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: in that thing of like, don't go to bed angry,
• 25:23
  Speaker 1: like because if you if you can straighten it out,
• 25:27
  Speaker 1: it's such a bad hangover. If you get up in
• 25:29
  Speaker 1: the morning and you were angry the night before and
• 25:31
  Speaker 1: you hadn't dealt with it, you know.
• 25:33
  Speaker 6: And you wake up and you think, oh, that's right,
• 25:34
  Speaker 6: we're mad at each Yeah, exactly.
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: The other way, I'm like, you know what, sleep on it. Yeah,
• 25:39
  Speaker 2: because you're not as something happens when you sleep. Let
• 25:44
  Speaker 2: me just go to sleep.
• 25:45
  Speaker 3: Leep. Yeah, something happens when you sleep, you know, just
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: you wake up and whatever you thought. Yeah, it's like
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: right after you, Joe, right like, as soon as you're done,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: everything that seemed like a good idea seconds ago no
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: longer a good idea gone, yeah, and you just kind
• 25:58
  Speaker 3: of maybe move on and just shrug it off.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: But that is the problem, is you're fatigued, and that's
• 26:03
  Speaker 1: the moment where the real parenting usually comes in.
• 26:07
  Speaker 2: It's the end of the night and you gotta be
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: it's all about consistency. You want to have boundaries.
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: I'm not saying like I'm saying, be gentle with them,
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: but also have consistent boundaries.
• 26:17
  Speaker 2: Were you cool parent.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: As far as like you know, were the kids allowed
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: to get away with certain things or super You say
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: you're strict.
• 26:24
  Speaker 2: I was strict.
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: My wife was not as much, which I think it's
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: good to have a good cop bad cop thing. But
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: I was strict, and but I didn't yell. I yelled once,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: and I was just talking to my daughter about it.
• 26:38
  Speaker 1: We had dinner last night.
• 26:39
  Speaker 2: Here's what's great about my daughter. She's twenty two. She
• 26:41
  Speaker 2: lives in the guest house in the back. Oh, because
• 26:44
  Speaker 2: it cool.
• 26:46
  Speaker 1: She comes in, Yeah, guess yes, it's perfect the guest quarters.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And she comes in and she she she likes to
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: have dinner with us, and she likes to talk to
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: We have dinner and then we sit there for three
• 26:56
  Speaker 1: hours and talk about life. It's actually really amazing. That's
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: the point I want to get to. That's what my
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: wife and I keep thinking about, like if we can
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: survive this. On the other end, is this so I'm
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: sure some people feel about working out, like mom, I
• 27:09
  Speaker 1: can't get myself to work out. But like when you like,
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: you're eventually gonna be able to look in the mirror
• 27:13
  Speaker 1: and at the rezonte feel good about it. Right, Eventually
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: we're gonna be able to get through this and we're
• 27:17
  Speaker 1: gonna be able to look at them and go, you
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: know what.
• 27:19
  Speaker 4: It was worth about daughters? Like when a girl turns thirteen,
• 27:22
  Speaker 4: that's when she starts hating her parents. Is that true?
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: Oh?
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: My god, so true? Didn't hate us?
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: Like, thank god, we never got the I hate you.
• 27:32
  Speaker 1: I don't know that I could have handled.
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: We've got that. I feel like we get that on
• 27:37
  Speaker 2: a pretty regular base.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: Oh you've been told that? Oh yeah, oh god, I
• 27:42
  Speaker 1: know it's not real. People say that stuff in anger.
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: But then I can't wait to move out. I'm like, yeah,
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: I can't wait for you to move out, Like, look,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: we have so much in common.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: I'm moving out all right. Your suitcases on the front.
• 27:58
  Speaker 3: I made that joke since the kids were born. I said, hey,
• 28:00
  Speaker 3: you know what birthday is one through seventeen. You tell
• 28:03
  Speaker 3: me what you want on your eighteenth birthday, I can
• 28:05
  Speaker 3: tell you what you're getting.
• 28:05
  Speaker 2: It's luggage.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but I but we I think we stood
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: by her through the tough teen years.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: So when she turned like eighteen, she just completely came
• 28:16
  Speaker 2: back and looks at us for advice.
• 28:18
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: And you know, the pandemic happened right around that age,
• 28:23
  Speaker 1: and she and my wife would just have cocktails every night. Yeah,
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: you play games like the pandemic was actually really good
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: for our family, good old days.
• 28:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: Well that's why there's that old saying, the older you get,
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: the smarter your parents get. Yeah, because you realize, oh man,
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: they were right right.
• 28:41
  Speaker 1: What we were talking about, going to bed angry, waking
• 28:44
  Speaker 1: up and it's not post, not clarity post.
• 28:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's happened before real. Greg Fitzimmons is here.
• 28:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he's hosting the Best Buddies Benefit of the Comedy
• 28:54
  Speaker 3: Store on Sunday. The show, A bunch of other comedians
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: are on there and the tickets are available Fitzdog f
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: I t z dog dot com. You can get all
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: the information there. We got more with Greg Fitzsimmons coming
• 29:07
  Speaker 3: up here on The Woody Show.
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: A Woody Show