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330. Does God Want You to Be Happy? · The Impossible Life

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Speaker 1: That's impossible.
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Speaker 2: Let me tell you what I believe.
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Speaker 1: It's your weakness, it's not your technique.
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Speaker 3: Don't think you know.
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Speaker 2: The Impossible Life Podcast and yes, sitting on a winning lottery.
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Speaker 3: Second, an idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks.
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Speaker 4: This is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I
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Speaker 4: are attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is
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Speaker 4: that nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as
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Speaker 4: an excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of
0:37
Speaker 4: impossible as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been
0:42
Speaker 4: done before, that just means it's unexplored. If they tell
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Speaker 4: you it's too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified.
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Speaker 4: Impossible as a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling
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Speaker 4: to take a risk.
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Speaker 3: The real truth is this The.
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Speaker 4: Solution to any impossible task starts with this question, if
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Speaker 4: I had to what would it take?
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Speaker 3: What would it take?
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Speaker 1: Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
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Speaker 1: your co host Nick Serfas, and I'm looking across as
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Speaker 1: a man who holds the record for worst customer service
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Speaker 1: rep of all time after he was fired three minutes
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Speaker 1: into the job. That's right friends the photo bab you
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Speaker 1: see you Garrett Uncle back, a man whose response to
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Speaker 1: ninety nine percent of customer service situations is have you
1:30
Speaker 1: ever considered that you're just being weak and stupid?
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Speaker 3: Well done? I don't know if I would be the
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Speaker 3: best customer service rep because part of I think part
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Speaker 3: of being a customer service rep sometimes is okay. For example,
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Speaker 3: you know what people say like when you're you know,
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Speaker 3: when your wife asks you, do I look good in
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Speaker 3: this dress? You should just say yes. I never agree
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Speaker 3: with that. My wife only ask me questions that she
2:01
Speaker 3: wants the answer to. I don't know where. I don't
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Speaker 3: know where this misconception came from that it's like just
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Speaker 3: good to not tell people the truth. And so in
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Speaker 3: the in that same vein of customer service, I feel
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Speaker 3: like sometimes in customer service it's telling people what they
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Speaker 3: want to hear, and I think that's a horrible thing
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Speaker 3: to do.
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Speaker 1: Well, you know, like I said, you were not meant
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Speaker 1: to be a customer service representative, and you know, I
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Speaker 1: think that would be quite amusing.
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Speaker 3: I don't know, maybe maybe we should just change customer service.
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Speaker 3: Maybe customer service Future and it's and its entire form
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Speaker 3: is just wrong.
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Speaker 1: Well, maybe you could tackle that one in the future.
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Speaker 1: I appreciate a good customer service rep, but I definitely
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Speaker 1: don't want them to make my feelings feel good.
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Speaker 3: Or maybe as a customer service rep, when people give you,
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Speaker 3: you know like, hey, well, I you know, I think
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Speaker 3: your product's amazing, but we'd really like pink packaging like that,
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Speaker 3: it's a bad idea. And let me tell you ten
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Speaker 3: reasons why we should not do pink packaging. And you know,
3:02
Speaker 3: have you ever sold packaging before? Do you have any
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Speaker 3: expertise in this area? Okay, thank you, Please come back
3:07
Speaker 3: the next time you have Ballo feedback.
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Speaker 1: You know, I read I read the Problem of the Day,
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Speaker 1: and I literally think every time I read this scripture
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Speaker 1: when it says faithful are the wounds of a friend,
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Speaker 1: I'm like, man, that's my friend, Garrett, uncle Black. Like
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Speaker 1: literally I'm telling them here for every time it's scripture,
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Speaker 1: praise the Lord. All right, So gee, along the lines
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Speaker 1: of faithfully wounding friends, we are going to talk about
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Speaker 1: something today that I think is a massive misnumber, which
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Speaker 1: is happiness. And the spark for this man is happiness
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Speaker 1: is something like in our in American society, it's in
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Speaker 1: our constitutions. All men are created equal and have the
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Speaker 1: right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. Right,
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Speaker 1: and so we have this woven into our society. And
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Speaker 1: I think back to whenever I was you know, I
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Speaker 1: was depressed. If you don't know my story, I was
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Speaker 1: depressed for about six years. And during that time I
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Speaker 1: was alcohol dependent. I say dependent, meaning like I didn't
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Speaker 1: need to drink every day. I wasn't an alcoholic, but
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Speaker 1: I was dependent on it for feeling anything. I was
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Speaker 1: like completely numb. And you know what I wanted more
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Speaker 1: than anything, I just wanted to be happy. I read
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Speaker 1: books called I think there was a book called The
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Speaker 1: Art of Happiness that's by the Dahalai Lama and somebody else,
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Speaker 1: and that book like really spoke to me in the time,
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Speaker 1: and that's that's what I wanted. Man. I was like, dude,
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Speaker 1: I just want to be happy. Is there's something so
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Speaker 1: wrong with that? And so and so I pursued happiness, man,
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Speaker 1: And sometimes happiness was at the bottom of a glass gee,
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Speaker 1: and like that was great for a time or it
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Speaker 1: was just like, man, you know what feel great right
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Speaker 1: now is just going to like do whatever I want
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Speaker 1: and it never lasted. I certainly didn't solve for that
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Speaker 1: problem the way that I thought I would, and I
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Speaker 1: think it can get like, you know, people will say
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Speaker 1: things in christianom like you know what, like God's not
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Speaker 1: a god of happiness, He's a god of joy. And
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Speaker 1: so you know, asking that question like does God want
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Speaker 1: us to be happy? Is kind of like an interesting thing,
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Speaker 1: right because it can.
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Speaker 3: See me you certainly have to define happiness. But before
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Speaker 3: we even get into that, so many people, and I've
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Speaker 3: seen it in my own life as well, they fall
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Speaker 3: down that trap of well, I just feel like I
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Speaker 3: should be happy or I feel like God wants me
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Speaker 3: to be happy. And it's it's interesting how in people,
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Speaker 3: because there's there's a part of happiness that can be
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Speaker 3: very selfish, and when you when you make happiness a
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Speaker 3: selfish thing, it always leads down a road of destructive behavior,
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Speaker 3: of pursuing the wrong things in life. I just want
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Speaker 3: this thing makes me feel good, And when you're pursuing that,
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Speaker 3: it is a life of running towards pleasure. And a
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Speaker 3: life of running towards pleasure is not a meaningful life.
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Speaker 3: It's not a significant life. And it's also a life
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Speaker 3: that it is a it's a never ending loop where
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Speaker 3: you're the more you try to get to this, the
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Speaker 3: emptier you feel. The same way like if you ever
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Speaker 3: get into an addictive habit, whether it's alcohol or drugs
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Speaker 3: or anything else. At first you go to this thing
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Speaker 3: and just one drink makes you feel a little better,
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Speaker 3: but then you need to and then you need four.
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Speaker 3: And this is the thing that is emptying you out.
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Speaker 3: And what you have to realize is that you're living
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Speaker 3: life in it's a mirror of the good that you're
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Speaker 3: supposed to be living. That is the evil mirror of
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Speaker 3: the good that you're supposed to be living. When you're
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Speaker 3: living the way that God's called you to, the more
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Speaker 3: you do the right thing, the better you feel, and
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Speaker 3: the more you want to pursue that thing. But when
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Speaker 3: you are living the reverse, when you're living the opposite,
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Speaker 3: you chase after the wrong things and they're never enough
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Speaker 3: and they continue to lead you down a dark hole.
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Speaker 3: So as bad as it can be, you want to
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Speaker 3: go in the opposite direction. And when you live life
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Speaker 3: pursuing a selfish happiness, it is a never ending path
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Speaker 3: of destruction.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, And that really is the key route, is that
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Speaker 1: it is it is your ability to be selfless and
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Speaker 1: to die to self is like the key component of
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Speaker 1: this because what you just said describe me to a
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Speaker 1: t because what I wanted you was like I felt
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Speaker 1: empty because I had this eternal pull on me. Thank
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Speaker 1: God that I had the calling car of the eternal.
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Speaker 1: I wanted purpose and I didn't feel any purpose, and
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Speaker 1: so it was like happiness came my faux purpose because
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Speaker 1: it was like it was purpose without submission, and exactly
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Speaker 1: what you said, it was just like I had this
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Speaker 1: world when I was like, man, if I could just
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Speaker 1: be done with like I'm so tired of being type financially,
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Speaker 1: Like if I could just get to this place, like, man,
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Speaker 1: I want to you know, is it so wrong to
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Speaker 1: just have a day without problems? Or you know That's
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Speaker 1: what I really wanted, was I was just I had
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Speaker 1: this perfectly you know, status quo existence where everything went
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Speaker 1: the way I wanted it. Like in my head, this
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Speaker 1: was what I was pursuing. And it's so ridiculous. But
7:30
Speaker 1: going back to what you said about it, we have
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Speaker 1: to define it. Webster Man the Wester's eighteen twenty. It
7:35
Speaker 1: cannot say enough good things about it. We talked about
7:38
Speaker 1: it all the time on here. It's online. You should
7:40
Speaker 1: buy one as well, but it's online. Here's the definition,
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Speaker 1: and I love that he puts the additional parts in there.
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Speaker 1: He says, enjoying pleasure from the gratification of appetites or desires,
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Speaker 1: and he follows us up. He goes the pleasurable sensations
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Speaker 1: derived from the gratification of sensual appetites render a person
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Speaker 1: temporarily happy. What are sensual appetites. I'm hungry, I'm thirsty,
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Speaker 1: i want sex, I want you know, insert whatever. Temporarily happy.
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Speaker 1: But he only can be esteemed really happy and permanently
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Speaker 1: happy who enjoys peace of mind in the favor of
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Speaker 1: God In his dictionary Praise the Lord for eighteen twenty
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Speaker 1: eight Webster's Dictionary, What a definition.
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Speaker 3: One of the things I think you have to add
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Speaker 3: into happiness is or really living a right life, and
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Speaker 3: happiness falls into that. It's one of my favorite things
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Speaker 3: and one of the powerful tools we talk about here
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Speaker 3: at the Impossible Life is time frame orientation. Gonna I'm
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Speaker 3: gonna mess this up, but it is a I think
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Speaker 3: it's Confucius or it's a Chinese proverb. But it's because
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Speaker 3: if you based on what you pursue. You know, there's
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Speaker 3: things you can do that might make you happy tonight,
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Speaker 3: but it's going to make you unhappy tomorrow. You can
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Speaker 3: go drink a bunch, make you happy, and I make
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Speaker 3: you unhappy tomorrow, right, And you've really got to think
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Speaker 3: about what is the what's the happiness that you're pursuing,
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Speaker 3: And is happiness today the same thing as happiness a
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Speaker 3: year from now? And if if you know, the thing
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Speaker 3: that would make me happy right now would make me
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Speaker 3: unhappy tomorrow or would make me unhappy a month from now,
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Speaker 3: is that actual happiness. It's a really important thing to
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Speaker 3: think about. But it's I'm going to mess it up.
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Speaker 3: It's either Confucius or a Chinese proverb. I've heard it
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Speaker 3: so many times. If you want happiness, it's what happiness
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Speaker 3: for an hour? Take a nap. If you want happiness today,
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Speaker 3: go fishing. If you want happiness this year, inherit a fortune.
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Speaker 3: But that this is the part that I like. If
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Speaker 3: you want happiness for a lifetime, serve somebody else.
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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so good. We've actually we actually post that
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Speaker 1: sometimes on our story because.
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Speaker 3: I wouldn't know that because that's all you, but go, Nick.
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Speaker 1: I know that's why I'm telling you. I'm also telling
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Speaker 1: the audience slash Carrett. But yeah, I mean I think
9:50
Speaker 1: that that's it is so key man, that that time
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Speaker 1: frame orientation, and and I just love permanently happy who
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Speaker 1: enjoys peace of mind in the favor of God. And
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Speaker 1: of course man Isaiah twenty sixty three, this is the
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Speaker 1: root of happiness and peace. I'm putting those two together.
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Speaker 1: You keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed
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Speaker 1: on you because he trusts in you. And like, we
10:11
Speaker 1: love that scripture, and I think sometimes we can read
10:13
Speaker 1: our own lens into it. And you're saying like, oh, okay,
10:15
Speaker 1: so like God's going to keep being perfect peace, which
10:17
Speaker 1: means I'm just going to like feel no panic. And
10:20
Speaker 1: it's like, yeah, you're going to be in perfect peace.
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Speaker 1: But the qualifications are your mind is stayed on you
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Speaker 1: because you trust in him, very very different. It doesn't
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Speaker 1: mean those things aren't going to pull at you and
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Speaker 1: you're just going to be like, man, it wasn't even
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Speaker 1: like there wasn't a.
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Speaker 3: Thing the you know, I bring so many of the thing.
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Speaker 3: It's the right thing to do. I bring so much
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Speaker 3: of Scripture back to Christ's words, Yeah, because he provides
10:41
Speaker 3: a perfect lens. He provides a perfect lens, or he
10:45
Speaker 3: displays things that were more of a mystery before in
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Speaker 3: a more simple way. And it's where Christ said, if
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Speaker 3: you love me, you'll obey my commands, okay. And he
10:55
Speaker 3: wasn't saying, oh, if you don't obey me, you don't
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Speaker 3: love me. But he's saying, the more you love me,
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Speaker 3: the less you'll want to do the wrong thing, okay.
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Speaker 3: And where Scripture says these things like if if you're
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Speaker 3: close to me, you'll have peace. You know what. You
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Speaker 3: know what that means. When I don't have peace, it
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Speaker 3: means I need to draw near to him. When I'm
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Speaker 3: struggling with temptation, well, I mean, what comes out of
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Speaker 3: my mouth is Christ, help me, Lord, help me, Lord
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Speaker 3: be with me. Right. I want more of you in
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Speaker 3: my life. And the more I when I when I
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Speaker 3: just begin to say those things and think on him
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Speaker 3: and pursue him, temptation begins to get quieter and quieter
11:32
Speaker 3: in the same way where I've you know, I'm not
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Speaker 3: a I'm not a statue of perfect equanimity. Now I
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Speaker 3: live by it, I practice it, I model it. Pretty well.
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Speaker 3: But that doesn't mean that I don't feel stress or
11:46
Speaker 3: frustration or anger at times. But when I feel those things,
11:50
Speaker 3: when I'm feeling these things that pull me in the
11:52
Speaker 3: wrong direction, what I do is I pursue what I
11:54
Speaker 3: know is going to actually help me. Right. You know,
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Speaker 3: a lot of people's idea is a wrong idea. A
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Speaker 3: lot of people's idea of happiness is the same as
12:04
Speaker 3: getting angry and you know, kicking your dog. It does.
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Speaker 3: You're not gonna you know, you're not gonna feel You
12:09
Speaker 3: might feel better like for five seconds, and then you
12:12
Speaker 3: feel like an idiot after and this sends you then
12:14
Speaker 3: you're actually more angry, more depressed, more ashamed, and sends
12:19
Speaker 3: you further down this loop. You've got to look further
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Speaker 3: down the road and say, what what do I want
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Speaker 3: out of life? What's really going to be happiness for me?
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Speaker 3: Not happiness right now, what's going to give me happiness
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Speaker 3: for a lifetime?
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Speaker 1: Yeah, and you you saying that sounds so simple, ge,
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Speaker 1: But what I've observed, I've been I explained you I.
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Speaker 3: Got to pay. It's it's, as I've simplified before, zoom
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Speaker 3: and zoom out. If you're if you're going through pain.
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Speaker 3: You've got to zoom out when it's really hard in
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Speaker 3: your life. Zoom out, and that's what's going to help
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Speaker 3: guide you towards real happiness, not what might what might
12:51
Speaker 3: make you happy in a moment. I watched a lot
12:53
Speaker 3: of guys do it going through seal training. You know
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Speaker 3: what made them happy in that moment to ring the bell,
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Speaker 3: to get a warm cup coffee, and to feel better,
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Speaker 3: And they were unhappy for a long.
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Speaker 1: Time after, right, And that that really is it is.
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Speaker 1: It's like, do you gonna choose what you want right
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Speaker 1: now or what is actually right? And it sounds like
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Speaker 1: I said, it sounds simple, but I think that that's
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Speaker 1: what makes you guys as seals special. And what you've
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Speaker 1: brought into what I've seen you model and follow in
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Speaker 1: Christ is that there's never a time when it's okay
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Speaker 1: to do the wrong thing, and like it's obedient unto death.
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Speaker 1: It's like, hey, I'm gonna do the right thing even
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Speaker 1: if it kills me. And we all like that saying.
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Speaker 1: But when something is absolutely screaming loud at you and
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Speaker 1: the truth is whispering, turning your ear towards the truth
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Speaker 1: becomes very difficult. So It's simple to understand, but like
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Speaker 1: hard in practice. You've done this so much with what
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Speaker 1: you've gone through at Union. I look at the example
13:46
Speaker 1: with whenever I ran was in the hospital. There was
13:48
Speaker 1: a lot of things that were telling me, hey, this
13:49
Speaker 1: probably isn't going to go very well. But like because
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Speaker 1: I had I was making a choice and I knew
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Speaker 1: where my trust was and I had practiced it many times,
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Speaker 1: in that moment, I felt perfect peace. I had my daughter.
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Speaker 1: This is one that I think a lot of people
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Speaker 1: can relate to. G And I know you've had you've
14:03
Speaker 1: you've talked about this in private before, so I'd like
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Speaker 1: you just to share a little bit with people. This
14:07
Speaker 1: is a great example. My daughter was when I were
14:10
Speaker 1: driving together, she goes, Dad, I've been reading my Bible
14:12
Speaker 1: and I just don't feel like God's close to me
14:14
Speaker 1: right now. And I think a lot of people they'll
14:16
Speaker 1: be like, man, I feel like I'm in the valley.
14:18
Speaker 1: I feel like God's moved far away from me. And
14:21
Speaker 1: think about what you're saying, I feel like and it's
14:25
Speaker 1: so you're basically your emotions are leading you at that moment,
14:29
Speaker 1: and what's the truth say. The truth says like if
14:32
Speaker 1: you draw it. If you draw near to me, I
14:33
Speaker 1: will draw near to you like you. We have scripture
14:36
Speaker 1: about how God, God is omnipresident. He talks about where
14:38
Speaker 1: can I go from your spirit? Where can I hide
14:39
Speaker 1: from your presence? In Psalms one thirty nine. We have
14:42
Speaker 1: in the truth of scripture that there's nowhere you can
14:44
Speaker 1: go far from God. Now that doesn't mean that you're
14:46
Speaker 1: not going to feel that at times, but that's a
14:48
Speaker 1: great example of whenever you have the choice. And that's
14:50
Speaker 1: why I said to my daughter, I said, I said, baby,
14:52
Speaker 1: just because you don't feel like God's close doesn't mean
14:55
Speaker 1: that he's not right there. Like, that's the time when
14:57
Speaker 1: you have to lead yourself and mind yourself of what's true.
15:02
Speaker 1: And that really is going back to Isaiah twenty sixty three,
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Speaker 1: your mind is stayed on you because he trusts in you.
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Speaker 1: It really comes down. Does God's words say this?
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Speaker 3: Yes?
15:11
Speaker 1: It does. Do your circumstances look.
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Speaker 3: Like that right now?
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Speaker 1: No? They don't. What are you going to believe? That's
15:17
Speaker 1: what you're talking about? You when you talk about zoom in,
15:19
Speaker 1: zoom out right, it's.
15:19
Speaker 3: Like, okay, it's choosing to believe what you know is
15:23
Speaker 3: right and following it and knowing that the fruit will follow.
15:26
Speaker 3: That's what you're saying. You appreciate about me comes from
15:29
Speaker 3: a lot of really strict and difficult training of they
15:34
Speaker 3: make sure you understand you will find consequences if you
15:38
Speaker 3: do what is wrong. Follow follow your training, follow your training.
15:43
Speaker 3: And it's where I've said to many people. You know,
15:46
Speaker 3: when people come up after mighty men, I share this
15:49
Speaker 3: story with him all the time. I ask him, and
15:51
Speaker 3: what did you like about today? What did you experience?
15:54
Speaker 3: What were some of your takeaways? And I'll tell him,
15:57
Speaker 3: you know, I don't think I have it all figured out.
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Speaker 3: I'm certainly not perfect. Don't put me on a pedestal.
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Speaker 3: I'll disappoint you. But what I hope you felt today
16:05
Speaker 3: is that we take this seriously. And where that comes
16:07
Speaker 3: from for me is when I left the military, I said,
16:10
Speaker 3: don't want to serve God the way that I served
16:11
Speaker 3: in the military. And I don't mean with guns. What
16:15
Speaker 3: I mean is what I The way I served in
16:17
Speaker 3: the military was with a group of people who are
16:19
Speaker 3: wholly dedicated to doing what they were called to do,
16:23
Speaker 3: which was the mission, and they operated by a standard
16:26
Speaker 3: of we must do what we've been asked to do.
16:29
Speaker 3: And if you'll follow scripture that way where you'll read
16:32
Speaker 3: it and say, no, this is what's right.
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Speaker 1: I'm going to live it.
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Speaker 3: Not you know, well I tried some of that and
16:38
Speaker 3: it didn't work out. Now, if you tried it and
16:40
Speaker 3: it's not working, it's because you're not doing it right.
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Speaker 3: You need to try again. You don't assume that you're
16:45
Speaker 3: what's perfect, because you're not. God's who God is who's perfect,
16:48
Speaker 3: and it's his word. And if we'll follow it, then
16:51
Speaker 3: you'll get the great results. And happiness is one of
16:54
Speaker 3: the fruit that comes from living an abundant life. Happiness
16:57
Speaker 3: is not something you can go buy some at the
16:59
Speaker 3: store or you can go find it for a moment.
17:02
Speaker 3: And all those things that you thought were happiness, they're
17:05
Speaker 3: not happiness.
17:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, And so what we're not saying, I just want
17:10
Speaker 1: to be really clear. We're not saying, like, hey, your
17:12
Speaker 1: emotions are bad and you should just like you know,
17:15
Speaker 1: you just you should just beat your emotions down to
17:18
Speaker 1: where you just feel nothing and you become a robot.
17:20
Speaker 1: Guess what, that's going to make you terrible at relating
17:22
Speaker 1: to anybody else. You certainly won't be a good husband
17:24
Speaker 1: for your wife, because if you're just some emotionless robot,
17:27
Speaker 1: you're not going to have connection. But emotions are massively
17:30
Speaker 1: useful because they're indicators. Tony Robbins always said that, and
17:32
Speaker 1: emotions are indicators, and I thought that that was a
17:34
Speaker 1: great way of saying it, so I borrowed that from him,
17:36
Speaker 1: and so it's like, Okay, they're indicators of what they are,
17:39
Speaker 1: two things of your thought process and of what you've
17:42
Speaker 1: been sewing. Okay, and we're going to go and teach these.
17:45
Speaker 1: So let's let's use an obvious one, gee, which we've
17:47
Speaker 1: talked about before. Anger. Okay, I think that's an easy
17:50
Speaker 1: emotion every I don't need to explain the emotion of anger.
17:53
Speaker 1: But this is true of all emotions. So underneath anger
17:56
Speaker 1: is they're tied. Usually is the thought process that's tied
18:01
Speaker 1: to entitlement or, if you want to say it a
18:03
Speaker 1: nicer way, injustice. We just covered entitlement, so we have
18:06
Speaker 1: a nice deep dive for you on the previous episode.
18:08
Speaker 1: So let's give this obvious example. I think a lot
18:10
Speaker 1: of people can relate to You're angry at your kids
18:13
Speaker 1: because they're not listening or behaving. The way you want.
18:16
Speaker 1: Everybody I think out there has felt that frustration or
18:19
Speaker 1: that anger. So the question becomes what would have to
18:22
Speaker 1: be true for your anger to be justified? Because sometimes
18:25
Speaker 1: anger is right, Like there is such a thing as
18:26
Speaker 1: righteous anger. If you see someone arming somebody who's innocent
18:30
Speaker 1: and can't defend themselves, and you feel righteous anger, yeah
18:33
Speaker 1: you should go stand up for that person. But in
18:35
Speaker 1: this case, what would have to be right? Well, your
18:38
Speaker 1: kids should listen to their parents all the time. They
18:41
Speaker 1: should listen to me. Okay, that's wrong thinking, because what
18:44
Speaker 1: does it say in the word Proverbs twenty two to fifteen,
18:46
Speaker 1: And there's plenty of proverbs on disciplining your children. Fali
18:49
Speaker 1: is bound up in the heart of a child, but
18:51
Speaker 1: the rod of discipline will drive it far away. We
18:54
Speaker 1: were all kids, did you listen to your parents all
18:56
Speaker 1: the time? Well, no, but my dad, no, no, no,
18:59
Speaker 1: you didn't. So like it's wrong thinking. You need to
19:02
Speaker 1: like if you go in and go like, yeah, my
19:04
Speaker 1: kids are going to are going to misbehave, They're gonna
19:06
Speaker 1: misinterpret it. They're gonna do things from an innocent place
19:09
Speaker 1: of making bad decisions. And it's my job to discipline
19:12
Speaker 1: and lead them, like, why would I be angry about that?
19:15
Speaker 1: I expect that to happen now. So when my kids
19:17
Speaker 1: flare up, I'm like, okay, cool, this is just where
19:19
Speaker 1: they need dad. And that sounds super logical, but like
19:22
Speaker 1: you need to see those emotions and be like, Okay,
19:24
Speaker 1: something's going on here because you highlight time frame, g
19:27
Speaker 1: and I think that's the key to any emotion. It
19:30
Speaker 1: is an intense craving. If something starts screaming at you
19:33
Speaker 1: and or it's ay craving, you need to go like
19:35
Speaker 1: ding ding ding ding ding. Okay, this is an emotion.
19:38
Speaker 1: It's time for me to get into underlying indicator of
19:41
Speaker 1: what it is. So it's the thought process is or
19:43
Speaker 1: if it's of what you've been sewing. And here's here's
19:45
Speaker 1: a great example for sewing. It's one of your favorite scriptures.
19:47
Speaker 1: GI Galatians six seven through nine. Do not be deceived.
19:50
Speaker 1: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows.
19:53
Speaker 1: Whoever sows to please their flesh from the flesh will
19:57
Speaker 1: reap this destruction. Whoever sows to please this spirit from
20:00
Speaker 1: the spirit will reap eternal life. And then this is
20:03
Speaker 1: what we're saying, let us not become weary in doing good,
20:06
Speaker 1: for at the proper time, we will reap a harvest
20:09
Speaker 1: if we do not give up. Well, you know, and
20:12
Speaker 1: I've had men say this to me, and guys, I
20:14
Speaker 1: get it. When I was at my lowest, I probably
20:16
Speaker 1: would have said something like this too. I just don't
20:18
Speaker 1: feel Actually I did say. I said I didn't feel
20:19
Speaker 1: connected to Urant. That's what I used to always say.
20:21
Speaker 1: If you don't feel attracted to your wife or you know,
20:24
Speaker 1: God forbid, and yes, this is possible to have some
20:27
Speaker 1: spark with another woman. Man, there's this girl at work
20:29
Speaker 1: and we just get along so easily, and she's actually
20:32
Speaker 1: really attractive. Like what are you sewing? You're starting to
20:36
Speaker 1: allow thoughts to stay when you need to kill them,
20:38
Speaker 1: because now you go home and like, oh, well, my wife,
20:40
Speaker 1: you know she's she doesn't do this, or she she
20:43
Speaker 1: doesn't really look like this, or man, it used to
20:45
Speaker 1: be like this, and you don't realize that by allowing
20:48
Speaker 1: that thought to hang in there, Man, you're just putting
20:51
Speaker 1: seed in the ground. And you know what a great
20:52
Speaker 1: time is to start feeling how unattracted you are to
20:54
Speaker 1: your wife when you're tired, gee, because what does it say,
20:57
Speaker 1: do not become weary and doing good. You know what
21:00
Speaker 1: that means. It means that you're going to become weary.
21:02
Speaker 1: And that's when those things become the loudest. And it's like, man,
21:04
Speaker 1: I don't feel tracked to my wife anymore. And you
21:06
Speaker 1: start going like we've lost the fire and you start
21:09
Speaker 1: drying all these false conclusions because you're basing it on
21:11
Speaker 1: an emotion and not on the truth.
21:14
Speaker 3: Let me let me break this down or simplify it
21:16
Speaker 3: for you. Okay, Nick, you and I, You and I
21:18
Speaker 3: both have kids, and your kids are you have kids
21:21
Speaker 3: at a at a young age, and you also have
21:23
Speaker 3: kids that are flirt with reason at times? Yes, at times.
21:29
Speaker 3: One of the things, one of the things we have
21:31
Speaker 3: to teach our kids is I love the way our
21:34
Speaker 3: our buddy Josh Kraft says it. Mouth food and body food. Okay,
21:38
Speaker 3: there's some You know, if I determined what was good
21:41
Speaker 3: for my body by what tasted good in my mouth,
21:45
Speaker 3: I wouldn't be very healthy. And you have to realize that.
21:48
Speaker 3: You know that when I put certain tasty food, when
21:50
Speaker 3: I put ice cream, I eat sugar, it feels good.
21:55
Speaker 3: It makes me feel good in the moment, But then
21:56
Speaker 3: I don't feel great after and it's not what's best
21:58
Speaker 3: for my body. And if you look, if you pursue
22:01
Speaker 3: happiness in that same way, and these things make me
22:03
Speaker 3: feel really happy in a moment, it actually turns to
22:06
Speaker 3: the opposite of happiness. If all you do is eat
22:08
Speaker 3: ice cream, you'll feel terrible. You will feel terrible, you'll
22:12
Speaker 3: get sick, you'll be overweight, you'll start to have inflammation
22:15
Speaker 3: all the time. Like your life will just be very terrible.
22:20
Speaker 3: And if you live your life pursuing that form of
22:22
Speaker 3: happiness from what feels good, like what feels good in
22:26
Speaker 3: the moment, this is obviously what must be good. If
22:29
Speaker 3: you live your life that way, you'll get the opposite
22:31
Speaker 3: of good in your life. And that's exactly what Scripture
22:34
Speaker 3: says there. But for sows to the flesh will reap destruction.
22:38
Speaker 3: It doesn't just say we'll reap from the flesh. It
22:41
Speaker 3: says from the flesh will reap destruction. That's what following
22:45
Speaker 3: your flesh is going to give you. And so just
22:47
Speaker 3: to zoom back out on this question for a second,
22:50
Speaker 3: of like, hey, am I supposed to be happy? Does
22:52
Speaker 3: God want me to be happy? Absolutely? God wants you
22:55
Speaker 3: to be happy. God wants you to have real happiness
22:58
Speaker 3: and us feeling good in a moment you you know,
23:00
Speaker 3: tasting some sugar literally or figuratively in your life. Now,
23:04
Speaker 3: God made those things and you can have them, but
23:06
Speaker 3: God wants you to enjoy them in the best way,
23:09
Speaker 3: the same way that God wants you to have intimacy
23:11
Speaker 3: in your marriage. But if you try to do it
23:12
Speaker 3: in a different way, what it's going to do is
23:14
Speaker 3: lead to destruction. So what you've got to realize is, hey,
23:18
Speaker 3: maybe the thing that I want that like that my
23:21
Speaker 3: flesh is telling me I want isn't really what I want.
23:24
Speaker 3: It's telling me there's a problem. Right Sometimes when sometimes
23:29
Speaker 3: when you get hungry, you're actually just thirsty because your
23:33
Speaker 3: brain doesn't know the difference. Drink a bunch of water
23:35
Speaker 3: and it's like, oh, I was actually just dehydrated because
23:38
Speaker 3: I ate a couple hours ago. I don't need food.
23:40
Speaker 3: I just need to make sure that I'm hydrated. And
23:43
Speaker 3: the falmus in my brain doesn't always do a good
23:45
Speaker 3: job of telling me which is right. Am I am
23:47
Speaker 3: I thirsty or am I hungry? We've got to have
23:50
Speaker 3: some reason, We've got to have some understanding Bible talks
23:52
Speaker 3: about this as well, some reason and some understanding and
23:55
Speaker 3: the way that we live our life so we can
23:57
Speaker 3: pursue what is best. Right, So let's live lives. Are
24:00
Speaker 3: just chasing after sugar, and I want to give you.
24:03
Speaker 3: I want to put it to you this way. Think
24:04
Speaker 3: about happiness in a couple different forms. Okay, we've got body,
24:08
Speaker 3: soul and spirit happiness. We know how to feel good
24:12
Speaker 3: in the body. You can eat certain food, you can
24:15
Speaker 3: get a massage, you know, there's all kinds of things
24:18
Speaker 3: you can you can work out and that makes you
24:19
Speaker 3: feel good in the body. There's things that yeah, take
24:21
Speaker 3: a nap, Yeah, thank you, Confucius. There's things you can
24:24
Speaker 3: do that make your body feel good. Okay. And if
24:29
Speaker 3: you live from the outside end, which is following your emotions,
24:33
Speaker 3: following your flesh. We've experienced this life. What it does
24:37
Speaker 3: is it begins to cut off the inner parts of you,
24:40
Speaker 3: your soul and your spirit, and you'll never find happiness
24:43
Speaker 3: in those places. It didn't, you know. So you've got body,
24:47
Speaker 3: soul and spirit. Soul is your mind, right, it's your mind.
24:50
Speaker 3: You're willing your emotions, is the way I understand it.
24:53
Speaker 3: And you can find happiness in those places as well. Now,
24:56
Speaker 3: if you spend all of your life following the body,
25:00
Speaker 3: you're not going to find peace in your soul and
25:02
Speaker 3: in taking that deeper all the way to your spirit.
25:05
Speaker 3: This is the part of you that hears from the Lord,
25:08
Speaker 3: the part of you that's made in his image, that
25:10
Speaker 3: he deposited a piece of himself, and you like it
25:13
Speaker 3: talks about in Genesis one, twenty seven and twenty eight.
25:16
Speaker 3: When you understand this that you can live two ways.
25:19
Speaker 3: You can live from the outside end, or you can
25:21
Speaker 3: live from the inside out. If you live inside out,
25:24
Speaker 3: where what you pursue first, and what you pursue most
25:27
Speaker 3: is spiritual meaning and spiritual happiness. And then that that
25:31
Speaker 3: turns into Romans twelve one and two. Deny your flesh,
25:35
Speaker 3: let him change your thinking. He'll show you your purpose.
25:38
Speaker 3: When you get that spiritual meaning and happiness, then it
25:40
Speaker 3: is much easier and much more stable to have peace
25:43
Speaker 3: in your mind. And what you also understand is that
25:46
Speaker 3: those things peace in your spirit that lasts. I have
25:50
Speaker 3: been in a place right. I've been in a place
25:53
Speaker 3: many times in my life where I have peace, I
25:56
Speaker 3: have happiness in my spirit. I even have it in
25:58
Speaker 3: my mind and you know. And then what I'm saying
26:00
Speaker 3: is I'm waiting for my body to catch up, and
26:02
Speaker 3: I know it will, but I don't do it. If
26:05
Speaker 3: you pursue the flesh, the soul and the spirit will
26:09
Speaker 3: not follow the flesh. They'll die and be cut off.
26:12
Speaker 3: But if you live spirit lead, the body will follow.
26:15
Speaker 3: And you can do this in every aspect of your life.
26:17
Speaker 3: You can do this like literally in your workouts, you
26:20
Speaker 3: can do this in your nutrition, you can do this
26:22
Speaker 3: in the sense of purpose and meaning in your life.
26:24
Speaker 3: That if you live from the inside out, if you
26:26
Speaker 3: live spirit lead, this is living pointed towards Christ, where
26:30
Speaker 3: He's the water that always sustains us. He's the water
26:34
Speaker 3: that never quits flowing. He's the well that never runs dry.
26:37
Speaker 3: When you have this in your spirit, you can always
26:40
Speaker 3: get your mind in your body to follow that. But
26:42
Speaker 3: when you live the empty life of following what just
26:45
Speaker 3: makes the body feel good, the soul and your spirit
26:48
Speaker 3: become very dry. Just understand that if you want happiness
26:52
Speaker 3: in your life, you can't pursue it from just the outside.
26:56
Speaker 3: It's tempting to do it because it makes you feel
26:58
Speaker 3: good for a moment, but like we talked about those
27:01
Speaker 3: things that will make you happy for a moment are
27:02
Speaker 3: not the things that will make you happy for a lifetime.
27:04
Speaker 3: But if you can live a life of being focused
27:08
Speaker 3: on being happy for a lifetime, and then along the
27:10
Speaker 3: way you get to experience plenty of the things that
27:13
Speaker 3: make you happy in a week, happy in a moment,
27:15
Speaker 3: and you have that deeper foundation of happiness in your spirit,
27:21
Speaker 3: that is a great life. And I'll tell you they're
27:23
Speaker 3: not exactly the same. Okay. When I pray and I
27:26
Speaker 3: feel close to God, it doesn't make me feel the
27:29
Speaker 3: way that eating ice cream feels. And I'm not trying
27:31
Speaker 3: to tell you that it's going to okay. These are
27:34
Speaker 3: different feelings. They're different sorts of highs. Okay, eating ice
27:40
Speaker 3: cream feels great. Also, not having eaten for a week
27:44
Speaker 3: is pretty painful, okay, But not having eaten for a
27:48
Speaker 3: week is not as near as painful as the pain
27:52
Speaker 3: of emptiness and depression and a meaningless life. Now, when
27:56
Speaker 3: you have that, when you have a meaningful life, living
28:00
Speaker 3: a meaningful life, doing great things, knowing you're living in
28:03
Speaker 3: your purpose for God. But you're a little hungry, you
28:07
Speaker 3: feel still sustained. Like man, this is a temporary pain.
28:11
Speaker 3: I know I'm going to overcome this. But when you
28:13
Speaker 3: have lived a life of only pursuing what is in
28:16
Speaker 3: the body, and you go through things like darkness and
28:20
Speaker 3: depression and emptiness, no amount of ice cream can overcome that.
28:25
Speaker 3: And so you've got to realize what is going to
28:27
Speaker 3: build not just a great life, but what's going to
28:29
Speaker 3: build the most happiness if you really want a happy life.
28:32
Speaker 3: And I'm just making my argument here for you to
28:35
Speaker 3: live a different way if you want to, if you
28:37
Speaker 3: want to reach the peak of happiness, there's no amount
28:40
Speaker 3: of ice cream that will take you up that mountain.
28:42
Speaker 3: But when you live a spirit led life where you
28:45
Speaker 3: have happiness from the inside out, like you have happiness
28:48
Speaker 3: from peace and presence with God, you have a level
28:50
Speaker 3: of thinking and personal philosophy and lifestyle and emotional management
28:55
Speaker 3: that supports a happy lifestyle. And on top of that,
28:58
Speaker 3: you've got a great family and you get to take
28:59
Speaker 3: them to ice cream. That's a peak of happiness that
29:03
Speaker 3: no amount of following the body could ever give you.
29:08
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for listening. Guys. Remember to share,
29:11
Speaker 2: like subscribe if you think that this would be something
29:14
Speaker 2: that someone would enjoy. Please send it to them. We
29:16
Speaker 2: appreciate it all. If you want to get in touch,
29:18
Speaker 2: you can follow us on Instagram at the Impossible Life.
29:22
Speaker 2: You'll find us on there. You can also email at
29:24
Speaker 2: Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com if you have
29:27
Speaker 2: any questions. If you want to get in touch and
29:29
Speaker 2: find out about Carrot's personal or business coaching, that's the
29:32
Speaker 2: way to do it. Thank you again for listening. Go
29:34
Speaker 2: out there and think better and live the impossible. See
29:37
Speaker 2: you again soon.