Latest / Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad / Dear Banya: What Would Taylor Swift Do?

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Dear Banya: What Would Taylor Swift Do? · Scrubbing In with Becca Tilley & Tanya Rad

• 0:04
  Speaker 1: Scrubbing in with Bea Tilly and Tanya rad and iHeartRadio
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: and two times People's Choice Award winning podcast.
• 0:14
  Speaker 2: Hello everyone, we are scrubbing it.
• 0:22
  Speaker 3: Yes we are.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: Well, now that's the new thing. What, Yes we are?
• 0:26
  Speaker 4: You've said that like three weeks in a row. Now,
• 0:28
  Speaker 4: which the new thing? The thing? You're going to review
• 0:31
  Speaker 4: it as the new thing on the Facebook group. So
• 0:33
  Speaker 4: you really just have to change it every week or
• 0:35
  Speaker 4: commit to something.
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Yes we are, Yes, we are, indeed, in fact we are.
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: We are.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: You know what we should have back on the show?
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: Tell me Jessica Capsule because she's on a new TV show.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: It airs after Grea's Anatomy.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: Yes, let's have her back on I would I.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Love her.
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: Right?
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, But she posted a video the other day of
• 0:58
  Speaker 2: like her.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: It was a sorry we're late.
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: Jessico'stone a fit you know that, and she's in a
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: dress like walking and people in the comments.
• 1:08
  Speaker 1: Are like, wow, your leg grew back nicely.
• 1:13
  Speaker 2: Anyways, we have a Dear Bonia episode today, just like
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: I'm feeling inspired to give advice today.
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: Me too, So I'm excited to see what they have
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: for us.
• 1:26
  Speaker 5: I'm I'm so my advice is gonna be like, what
• 1:29
  Speaker 5: would Taylor Swift do?
• 1:30
  Speaker 4: Oh wow, so you're still kind of on a high.
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: Oh yeah, that high? This high is going to be
• 1:35
  Speaker 3: singing for a while.
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: All right, Well, let's start with this one from anonymous
• 1:41
  Speaker 4: Day one scrubber. Here, I'm meeting some advice. My best friend,
• 1:44
  Speaker 4: let's call her Kelly, is dating a girl that I
• 1:46
  Speaker 4: don't like. The girl herself actually seems to be a
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: good match for Kelly. They have similar interests from what
• 1:51
  Speaker 4: I've seen. She doesn't seem to be a bad person.
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: She's supportive and communicative and treats her well. But her
• 1:56
  Speaker 4: and I just don't vibe. She's made some move comments
• 1:58
  Speaker 4: toward me, and she's really compared with me, and as
• 2:01
  Speaker 4: a personality, I don't like her get along with. I've
• 2:04
  Speaker 4: tried to get closer to her, and I'm always kind
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: and friendly to her when we hang out, but we
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: just don't connect. The issue is it's upsetting Kelly and
• 2:11
  Speaker 4: making things weird between us. So what do I do?
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: Try to fake it more, pretend I do want to
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: be friends with her. If I bring up how she's
• 2:18
  Speaker 4: acted towards me. I also think you don't have to
• 2:20
  Speaker 4: be best friends with the best friend's partner, do you.
• 2:22
  Speaker 4: I'd appreciate your intake intake is that the right word?
• 2:25
  Speaker 4: Their input anyway? And tell perhaps I think any thoughts
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: you have on this situation. Love you all anxiously await
• 2:31
  Speaker 4: every episode every week. Thanks for being the best podcast
• 2:34
  Speaker 4: and creating the most loving and supportive community.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: Gosh, yeah, this is hard because like, you don't have
• 2:43
  Speaker 2: to be best friends with your with your best friend's partner.
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: No, you don't.
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: You don't, There's there's no requirement for that.
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: However, you don't want your best friend to be with
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: someone who treats their best.
• 2:56
  Speaker 1: Friends in a negative way.
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: Correct, there's a fine line.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Because then to me, that speaks to their character, which
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: you know how important character.
• 3:05
  Speaker 3: Is character over chemistry.
• 3:07
  Speaker 2: Like I would have a very hard time if Robbie
• 3:09
  Speaker 2: was like not nice to me and then I but
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: it wasn't being.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: So weird he wasn't nice to you.
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: But it wouldn't be something that.
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: Was like like, oh, you shouldn't be with him, but
• 3:19
  Speaker 2: like I don't vibe with him.
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: It would be weird because it wouldn't.
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: Be like I have space to say you shouldn't be
• 3:26
  Speaker 2: with this person, but it would make me go like,
• 3:29
  Speaker 2: why does he feel comfortable not being nice to me?
• 3:32
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: So, well, how would you handle that?
• 3:36
  Speaker 5: Like, if Helen didn't mean to I would be so sad,
• 3:40
  Speaker 5: I would say something to you.
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: I'd be like, Haley's mean to me?
• 3:43
  Speaker 1: I would I think I would approach it.
• 3:45
  Speaker 2: Let's like, I wouldn't do that because I think that
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: comes across accusatory and then that opens the line of
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: feeling defensive. But I think I would be like, does
• 3:54
  Speaker 2: Robbie not like does? Do you know if Robbie like
• 3:56
  Speaker 2: doesn't like me? Did I do something that upset him?
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Or him?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Because I just feel this vibe that he like doesn't
• 4:04
  Speaker 2: I don't know. I get the feeling that he doesn't
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  Speaker 2: like me, and I don't know if I'm being sensitive. Yeah,
• 4:08
  Speaker 2: I would maybe approach her from that way, because maybe
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: it can open the conversation for your best friend to
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: have a conversation with her, to say, hey, did she
• 4:17
  Speaker 2: do something that upset you because she feels a type
• 4:21
  Speaker 2: of way yeah, because then maybe there's some open dialogue.
• 4:25
  Speaker 2: But I think the worst thing you can do is
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: be like accusatory of like.
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: She's m Yeah, Heley's mean to me? Becca do something.
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:34
  Speaker 2: I think it's more of like, hey, I I can't
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: tell if I'm being sensitive, but I just get this
• 4:40
  Speaker 2: vibe from is Kelly the.
• 4:42
  Speaker 4: Person, Kelly's the friend?
• 4:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, hey Kelly. Can we name the other person?
• 4:48
  Speaker 3: Sarah?
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: Sarah? Hey, Kelly.
• 4:50
  Speaker 2: I don't know if I'm feeling sensitive, but I feel
• 4:53
  Speaker 2: like Sarah. There's this like energy and feeling of like
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: I can't tell if I've done something to upset her,
• 4:59
  Speaker 2: but it just feels like there's this competitiveness. And I
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: can't really tell if it's it's something I've done or
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: if it's just we don't click. But I didn't know
• 5:10
  Speaker 2: if she's said anything to you. And I would love
• 5:11
  Speaker 2: to be able to make it right so.
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: You could do that.
• 5:16
  Speaker 5: Or oh gosh, no, this might be this might be
• 5:22
  Speaker 5: some bad advice, but it's advice that my husband gives
• 5:25
  Speaker 5: me all the time. And I do feel like, no, no, no,
• 5:28
  Speaker 5: It's very different when it's like your best friend's partner.
• 5:31
  Speaker 5: But I'm somebody that can get very sensitive about several things,
• 5:37
  Speaker 5: and Robbie's been very good about just telling me just.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: To who cares. Let it roll off your shoulders. It
• 5:45
  Speaker 3: is what it is.
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: You.
• 5:46
  Speaker 5: Saying something might not change the situation. It's just going
• 5:48
  Speaker 5: to make it more uncomfortable for everybody. So just it
• 5:51
  Speaker 5: is what it is. You be you, they be them,
• 5:54
  Speaker 5: and we move on. And it's such a freeing way
• 5:56
  Speaker 5: to live if you think about it.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Do you take that?
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: I try?
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Do you live that advice? I do?
• 6:04
  Speaker 5: Like there's one situation currently where I was like upset
• 6:07
  Speaker 5: by something that happened and Robbie was just like why, Like, yeah,
• 6:12
  Speaker 5: it does not matter, Like it's literally nothing, And I
• 6:15
  Speaker 5: was like, you're so right. What am I gonna do
• 6:17
  Speaker 5: go to them and say that hurt my feelings? And
• 6:19
  Speaker 5: then they're gonna be weird and then it's just like
• 6:21
  Speaker 5: who cares?
• 6:22
  Speaker 2: I mean, I think the thing is that I'm so
• 6:24
  Speaker 2: grateful that when I do spend time with both of
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: you and Robbie, I feel very comfortable and I never
• 6:30
  Speaker 2: feel like any negative feelings.
• 6:33
  Speaker 3: At all, Like, but I also.
• 6:35
  Speaker 2: Don't hang out with y'all so much that it if
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: he was that way to me that I would feel
• 6:41
  Speaker 2: right like I really need to say something, unless it
• 6:43
  Speaker 2: got to a point where we were spending so much
• 6:45
  Speaker 2: time together and I was like I can't take it. Anymore,
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I have to say something correct. But if you're spending
• 6:49
  Speaker 2: this much time, if they're spending that much time together,
• 6:51
  Speaker 2: because sometimes.
• 6:52
  Speaker 1: Woola wah hashtag wlw relationships.
• 6:55
  Speaker 2: I don't know if anonymous, I don't know if Anonymous
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: is in a relationship, but if you're spending a lot
• 6:59
  Speaker 2: of time I'm together, if it's your best friend and
• 7:02
  Speaker 2: you're seeing their partner all the time, it might be
• 7:05
  Speaker 2: something where it's like I would rather just not even
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: hang out with my best friend if I'm gonna have
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: to be around this person who makes me feel.
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: Horrible, that's so sad.
• 7:12
  Speaker 2: So another part of me is like, do you just
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: go straight to Sarah and say, hey, I know that
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: we both love Kelly, and I don't know if I've
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: done something to upset you, but I just want to
• 7:23
  Speaker 2: like clear the air because there might be that direct
• 7:25
  Speaker 2: communication that just opens up the door of comfortability. And
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: maybe Sarah doesn't even realize she's being that way.
• 7:33
  Speaker 3: Well maybe you just wait it out until they break up.
• 7:35
  Speaker 1: My god, you're back in.
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  Speaker 3: Several directions here.
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: I don't know your relationship with Kelly.
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: So if you feel comfortable just going to Kelly and
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: kind of making it your own thing of like have
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: I done something, has she said anything?
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I just want to make it right or just going
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: straight to Sarah.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, all right.
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: This is from anonymous The starting Over conversation with my boyfriend.
• 7:59
  Speaker 4: Do you re Becca Easton Marcantania alphabetical order didn't want
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: to play favorites day one scrubber here. My question is
• 8:04
  Speaker 4: mainly for Tanya, but I love anyone's input. Input. There
• 8:07
  Speaker 4: you go. My boyfriend is thirty eight and I am
• 8:10
  Speaker 4: thirty six. We've been dating for a year and a half,
• 8:12
  Speaker 4: and we've had lots of conversations about next steps, engagement, marriage,
• 8:16
  Speaker 4: and growing our family. He has two kids from my
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: previous marriage, thirteen and eleven. He has majority custody. I
• 8:21
  Speaker 4: sometimes feel a little guilty that he's just getting to
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: a stage of more freedom in his life, and I'm
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: hoping we'll be starting over with a newborn soon. My
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: last relationship ended because my party didn't want kids, which
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: I told my current boyfriend about. I'm curious if you
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: and Robbie ever had conversations about that dynamic. Was Robbie
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: always excited about the idea or did it take deeper discussion.
• 8:41
  Speaker 4: Do you ever feel any guilt about how a new
• 8:42
  Speaker 4: baby might change things with the older kids. I think
• 8:45
  Speaker 4: my biggest fear is the older we get, the more
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: my boyfriend will be willing to will be less willing
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: to have another child. Thanks to the endless laughs every week,
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: you guys are the best.
• 8:54
  Speaker 5: I think that your last the last thing you said
• 8:57
  Speaker 5: about the longer or whatever was the last line that
• 9:00
  Speaker 5: you said the longer.
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: My biggest fear is the older we get, the more
• 9:04
  Speaker 4: my boyfriend will be less willing to have another child.
• 9:07
  Speaker 5: That's problematic just because I feel like once you guys
• 9:11
  Speaker 5: get on the same page of wanting to have kids,
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: you can't worry about him changing his mind because that
• 9:18
  Speaker 5: like you have to trust that if he's giving you
• 9:21
  Speaker 5: his word that he wants to have more kids, that
• 9:23
  Speaker 5: that he really means that.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: That's character to me.
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: So no, it wasn't something that Robin I always saw
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: eye toe on. I was always very honest about my
• 9:34
  Speaker 5: intentions and what I wanted moving on in the future.
• 9:37
  Speaker 3: And I think that.
• 9:41
  Speaker 5: When you're when you're dating somebody that does that has
• 9:45
  Speaker 5: previously had kids, I think the hardest thing is they've
• 9:50
  Speaker 5: already had this experience, right, whether it was positive negative,
• 9:54
  Speaker 5: whatever it was for him. I think for us, the
• 10:00
  Speaker 5: changing point was when we got our dog, Sonny. Because
• 10:03
  Speaker 5: we got her, we were like joint. It wasn't like
• 10:06
  Speaker 5: my dog and it or wasn't his dog. It was
• 10:08
  Speaker 5: we got Sonny together. And I think Robbie seeing the
• 10:13
  Speaker 5: way that I was as like a co parent in
• 10:16
  Speaker 5: that situation really changed things for him. And he was
• 10:20
  Speaker 5: always very honest with me. Again, he was not closed
• 10:22
  Speaker 5: off to the idea. He was always open to the idea,
• 10:25
  Speaker 5: but he was never committed yes or no to either way.
• 10:28
  Speaker 5: And I think once we got our dog and he
• 10:30
  Speaker 5: saw the dynamic that we had with that, he became
• 10:34
  Speaker 5: very excited to quote unquote start over and do that
• 10:38
  Speaker 5: with me. And so that was like a very eye
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: opening experience for us. But I was patient with him.
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: I didn't make Robbie make that decision right away. I
• 10:47
  Speaker 5: understand it's a very big decision and it shouldn't be
• 10:51
  Speaker 5: taken lightly. So I do think you have to give
• 10:53
  Speaker 5: them some time and some grace to kind of figure
• 10:55
  Speaker 5: that out, navigate it and see what your relationship is like.
• 10:58
  Speaker 5: But you also have to do it in a time
• 11:01
  Speaker 5: frame that makes sense for you. That's my advice.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: So get a puppy.
• 11:07
  Speaker 5: I mean, no, you don't have to get a puppy,
• 11:08
  Speaker 5: but I think like understanding your dynamic of how you
• 11:12
  Speaker 5: would parent together and kind of what that looks like.
• 11:16
  Speaker 5: But yeah, he yes, he then did commit to me
• 11:20
  Speaker 5: about wanting that and being very excited about that, and
• 11:22
  Speaker 5: so that's when we took the next steps of getting engaged.
• 11:27
  Speaker 4: And if your boyfriend knows your last relationship ended.
• 11:29
  Speaker 3: Because of this, yeah, I'm very well aware that's the
• 11:31
  Speaker 3: whole thing.
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: Yeahah, I think it's fine. Well, why don't we take
• 11:35
  Speaker 4: a break, and when we come back, we're going to
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: talk about living close to your parents or not living
• 11:39
  Speaker 4: close to your parents and how that makes you feel.
• 12:02
  Speaker 1: All Right, we're back another hard hitter.
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: Hello, Becka, Tanya market Easton. This email's mostly from Mark
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: and Becca, but happy to hear from Tanya and Easton.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: Eight years ago, I got a great job opportunity a
• 12:13
  Speaker 4: five hour drive from my hometown. I was thirty at
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: the time and very single, so I'd decided to go
• 12:18
  Speaker 4: for it. I originally thought i'd be there two to
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: three years and move back home, but life had other plans,
• 12:23
  Speaker 4: and I met my now husband. He's an amazing guy,
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: and so I stayed. We Now I have two amazing
• 12:27
  Speaker 4: daughters and everything I ever wanted as a kid. The
• 12:29
  Speaker 4: only thing missing is my family. We go back to
• 12:31
  Speaker 4: visit my parents every six to eight weeks, and my
• 12:33
  Speaker 4: parents come visit quite a bit too, so that's nice.
• 12:35
  Speaker 4: My parents are in their late sixties, and I feel
• 12:37
  Speaker 4: so guilty being far from them. We have a great relationship.
• 12:41
  Speaker 4: I never thought I wouldn't be close by when they
• 12:43
  Speaker 4: get older. I think all the time, but what happens
• 12:44
  Speaker 4: If they get sick, I won't be around to help out.
• 12:46
  Speaker 4: But if as they get older they need more support,
• 12:49
  Speaker 4: I won't be around to be there for them the
• 12:51
  Speaker 4: way they've been there for me. My husband doesn't want
• 12:53
  Speaker 4: to move. He's close to his family and my in
• 12:55
  Speaker 4: laws are great people. I moved away, never thinking I
• 12:58
  Speaker 4: wouldn't come back. But with my husband, he understands where
• 13:01
  Speaker 4: I'm coming from. He says, we'll do whatever it needs
• 13:03
  Speaker 4: to be done when and if something happens. So my
• 13:06
  Speaker 4: question to Mark and Becka do you ever feel guilty
• 13:08
  Speaker 4: for being far from your parents? And if so, how
• 13:09
  Speaker 4: do you deal with it? I know I just need
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: to live with this, but some days it's so hard.
• 13:15
  Speaker 4: I don't know. I don't feel guilty, so I'm not
• 13:16
  Speaker 4: sure i'm the right person this question.
• 13:20
  Speaker 2: I do go through feelings of guilt, especially because I
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: remember I'm not the only one getting older, Like they're
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: getting older too, but they live in a place that
• 13:31
  Speaker 2: I don't want to live, and my life is out
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: here and they don't want to live out here either,
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: So I think we just have to try and find
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: the balance of like mostly me like going to visit
• 13:40
  Speaker 2: whenever I can.
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: But yeah, it's hard.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: It's like a weird thing as you get older, recognizing
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: that time is going by. And I especially think when
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: you have your own family, you want them to be
• 13:54
  Speaker 2: around and like see your kids. So I'm not navigating
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: that part of it, but yeah, I think the thing
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: is that you're worried about you get to see them
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: pretty often considering how far you live, Like every six
• 14:07
  Speaker 2: eight weeks is pretty I feel like, pretty good.
• 14:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 14:11
  Speaker 2: And I also think like you're worried about things that
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: aren't happening yet, so you're giving yourself anxiety with guilt
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: of like future thinking instead of just being present now.
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: And I also think that when the time comes, if
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: you feel ready to be closer to them, and you
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: want to have the closeness that you have with your
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: current your in laws currently, your husband's going to need
• 14:34
  Speaker 2: to make that compromise that you've made being away from
• 14:36
  Speaker 2: your family when that time comes. So and it seems
• 14:39
  Speaker 2: it sounds like he's willing to do that when it comes.
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: But I would just say, like, let go of the
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: guilt of it. If they're not they're not wanting to
• 14:47
  Speaker 2: move to where you live. It goes both ways, and
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: you make an effort to see them, and they make
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: an effort, I'm sure to see you when they can.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: So I would say, live your life.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: Don't think of like what happens if they get sick,
• 15:00
  Speaker 2: if that happens, which is just anxiety thinking. If it happens,
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: you will figure it out and you will have a
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: clear answer of what you need to do.
• 15:09
  Speaker 1: And I think you're worrying, Like sometimes guilt.
• 15:12
  Speaker 2: And anxiety gets in our head and we like overanalyze
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: it and just let yourself be present and enjoy the
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: moment you have with them currently.
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: Yeah, I mean the other way to look at that
• 15:22
  Speaker 4: from my perspective is my own kids because they're nineteen
• 15:25
  Speaker 4: and sixteen, and so at some point they're going to
• 15:26
  Speaker 4: start families and who knows where they'll end up. And
• 15:29
  Speaker 4: so my wife and I have decided we are going
• 15:31
  Speaker 4: to where they go. If we have to live in
• 15:33
  Speaker 4: a studio apartment somewhere in some random city, that's what
• 15:37
  Speaker 4: we're going to do, because we want to be close
• 15:39
  Speaker 4: to our grandkids and we want to make that work.
• 15:40
  Speaker 4: So yeah, it goes both ways. I see my parents
• 15:43
  Speaker 4: two three times a year. I call them every Friday,
• 15:45
  Speaker 4: and I think that's good.
• 15:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, it's so true, though, like they there's
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: a two way street. If my parents we're are my
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: family's all over the place, and they have five kids
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: that are not in the same space anywhere, so they're
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: in a position where either way they wouldn't be close
• 16:01
  Speaker 2: to all their kids. So they're close ish to two
• 16:05
  Speaker 2: of my siblings.
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: That have the kids.
• 16:07
  Speaker 2: So I think that's important to be around for the
• 16:09
  Speaker 2: grandkids and have those relationships. So I know that moving
• 16:12
  Speaker 2: out was being out here is a sacrifice and having
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: closeness with my family, But you know, I try, I
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: just try my best to see them when I can,
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: but I have these feelings I don't think you're abnormal
• 16:25
  Speaker 2: for having these thoughts.
• 16:26
  Speaker 4: There you go. This is from this is a quickie anonymous.
• 16:32
  Speaker 4: How soon is too soon to become exclusive with your
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: boyfriend or girlfriend we've met?
• 16:35
  Speaker 3: The answer does not the limit.
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: That's what I think. We met two weeks ago. We've
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: been on four dates, including an overnight at his place,
• 16:41
  Speaker 4: and we slept together. I really like him. I know
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: the feeling is mutual. He's in his early forties. I'm
• 16:46
  Speaker 4: in my mid thirties. I'm meeting his best friend this weekend.
• 16:49
  Speaker 4: I'm not trying to rush it, but also realizing the
• 16:52
  Speaker 4: saying when you know you know maybe very true. And
• 16:54
  Speaker 4: I think I found my person and that's really exciting.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: I think if you're on the same page, I think
• 17:00
  Speaker 2: it's I mean, Haley and I said I love you
• 17:01
  Speaker 2: after like three weeks, so I one thousand percent know
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: that it happens fast.
• 17:08
  Speaker 1: But you know, I'm also.
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: Like, protect your heart and make sure that you're the
• 17:15
  Speaker 2: person that you're feeling this with is aligned with like
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: the same timeframe and timeline, because you don't want to
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: get blindsided.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: But I think if you're on the same page, like
• 17:25
  Speaker 1: you know, I was shy.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: I wasn't shy about my feelings.
• 17:29
  Speaker 5: You waited a while, though not by my choice. Yeah,
• 17:34
  Speaker 5: but I'm saying I wasn't shy about telling him like
• 17:36
  Speaker 5: I want to be exclusive. I'm ready to like lock
• 17:38
  Speaker 5: this in, let's go, baby. That was months though I
• 17:42
  Speaker 5: think it was like one month in a month in yeah,
• 17:45
  Speaker 5: month in all right. I had to wait two more
• 17:47
  Speaker 5: months till he wanted to lock it in. That's some
• 17:51
  Speaker 5: pick me right there.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: I just have a car. I would be honest and
• 17:53
  Speaker 1: be like, I really like you.
• 17:55
  Speaker 2: I don't want to rush this, but you know, I'm
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: I'm happy being like exclusive and you know, I don't
• 18:03
  Speaker 2: know if.
• 18:03
  Speaker 3: You, but you have to be prepared.
• 18:04
  Speaker 5: He might say I'm not ready for that, and that's
• 18:06
  Speaker 5: also fine. Totally, it totally is fine. And if you're
• 18:09
  Speaker 5: fine with him dating other people and dating you, then
• 18:12
  Speaker 5: that's great. If you're not, then you tell him and
• 18:14
  Speaker 5: you you know what I mean, Like, it's all fine, It's.
• 18:17
  Speaker 3: All fine, everything's fine, Everything's fine fine.
• 18:20
  Speaker 4: Krystain Alley, this is an interesting question, Cristel and Allie,
• 18:23
  Speaker 4: you're scrubbing and fam Day one listener. Here, my twenty
• 18:25
  Speaker 4: year old daughter joined later, but we both look forward
• 18:27
  Speaker 4: to two podcasts a week with Taylor swift new album
• 18:31
  Speaker 4: coming out this week. I wanted to write it with
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: a challenge for Tanya Well. I mostly agree with you
• 18:35
  Speaker 4: that Taylor's songs with the one named title are not
• 18:37
  Speaker 4: her best. I think you have undervalued the masterpiece that
• 18:40
  Speaker 4: is Peter.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: No.
• 18:43
  Speaker 4: Taylor brilliantly compares to Peter in this song, to Peter
• 18:46
  Speaker 4: Pan a boy who refuses to grow up but instead
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: is lost to the loft Boys chapter of his life.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: The singer's like Wendy, who loves him and believes it
• 18:53
  Speaker 4: eventually the timing will be right for them to be together,
• 18:55
  Speaker 4: but realizes that she can't wait for him forever and
• 18:58
  Speaker 4: has to move on. I challenge you to listen to
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: the song again with this in mind, and I believe
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: you'll feel differently about it.
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: No, okay question.
• 19:06
  Speaker 4: Do you have someone in your past that is your Peter,
• 19:09
  Speaker 4: someone that you believe you could have spent your life
• 19:11
  Speaker 4: with if only the timing had been right, or do
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: you believe there's only one person who has meant for you?
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: I look forward to hearing your answers. Thank you for
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: keeping us entertained. You are our favorite podcast, and it
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: isn't even close. Much love Crystal and Alley so nice.
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: I don't believe I have a Peter.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: I don't have a Peter.
• 19:31
  Speaker 5: I think the people, the men from my past that
• 19:34
  Speaker 5: weren't ready for me were not meant for me, like
• 19:37
  Speaker 5: I truly believe. Like, let's say the timing was right
• 19:39
  Speaker 5: with some of them in the past, I'd probably be
• 19:41
  Speaker 5: divorced by now.
• 19:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, stan it own business.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: I'm stan it Own business. I'm gonna protect my man.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: But I don't love Peter.
• 19:52
  Speaker 4: I don't either. I agree, Peter Pietra whatever I agree.
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: I don't think there's no one I dated, even once
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: in the past that I think would have worked long term.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: Tell amorous. All right. We got some fun random questions
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: from Jesse, but first a brave oh yeah, I mean this.
• 20:31
  Speaker 1: All right the finale of the episode.
• 20:36
  Speaker 4: Let's make it grand from Jesse. Hey, everyone, I absolutely
• 20:39
  Speaker 4: love the podcast. I wanted to send it some fun,
• 20:41
  Speaker 4: dear Bonia questions that maybe you could ask since the
• 20:44
  Speaker 4: tackle bell order question might have been some of my
• 20:46
  Speaker 4: favorite contents so far. What's your death row meal?
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: Really?
• 20:58
  Speaker 4: Yeah? Nice?
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: Big heaping pile with not gluten free pasta, feta chini
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: and a bunch of parmesan cheese.
• 21:09
  Speaker 2: I would go whipped eggplant from Elafonte with the red Yeah,
• 21:16
  Speaker 2: and then maybe like that's it.
• 21:19
  Speaker 4: Oh, I think it was my last meal. I meaning
• 21:22
  Speaker 4: a lot.
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: Okay, okay, yeah, it says drink, appetizer, entree, dessert, drink
• 21:28
  Speaker 2: big fresh icy doctor pepper, whipped eggplant. And then for
• 21:36
  Speaker 2: my entree, I might go like my mom's roast. I
• 21:40
  Speaker 2: love my mom's roast. I think about it a lot.
• 21:43
  Speaker 2: And then dessert, I'm going like ice cream, something ice cream,
• 21:49
  Speaker 2: like a Sunday with like chocolate syrup, caramel, peanuts, cherries,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: all the things, or like a really I think I'm
• 21:56
  Speaker 2: gonna go like gooey homemade chocolate chip cookie.
• 22:03
  Speaker 1: Yes, what are you doing for your dessert?
• 22:06
  Speaker 5: Well, my drink would be a leachy martini and if
• 22:09
  Speaker 5: it was going, I'm gonna go out toasty tipsy, and
• 22:15
  Speaker 5: my dessert I'd say either a churo with chocolate dipping
• 22:22
  Speaker 5: sauce or some sort of ice cream.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: Pie with like an oreo crust.
• 22:30
  Speaker 1: And close by the way, she's thinking, she's.
• 22:32
  Speaker 5: Daydream Baskin Robbins makes like this, like ice cream pie yea,
• 22:36
  Speaker 5: like an oreo crust, and then they put like mint
• 22:38
  Speaker 5: chip ice cream in it, and then they do this
• 22:40
  Speaker 5: like hard fudge like chocolate on top. I don't know
• 22:43
  Speaker 5: what it is, but it is a delicacy. It's like
• 22:46
  Speaker 5: thirty four ninety nine wow for the whole pie.
• 22:50
  Speaker 1: The price and everything she's given to us generous.
• 22:54
  Speaker 3: That's what That's what it would be, all right, Mark.
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: Oh, what my drink would be. I'd probably go for
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: like a beer wa Yeah, that would be crazy. That
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: would be crazy appetizer. I probably like a boneless chicken
• 23:08
  Speaker 4: wing kind of a thing, dipping sauces, not broth, No,
• 23:12
  Speaker 4: I think I do like a wing. I do like that.
• 23:16
  Speaker 4: I think traditional buffalo with cheese ranch. But I wouldn't
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: mind an assortment of dipping sauces.
• 23:22
  Speaker 1: Okay, you get that.
• 23:25
  Speaker 4: Tough. I've mentioned my wife's panini on here before. That's great.
• 23:28
  Speaker 4: I also love a deep dish pizza, like a really
• 23:32
  Speaker 4: it's almost like a casserole that's so damn thick. But
• 23:35
  Speaker 4: that's what I like. A pie, like a pizza pie,
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: a thick one like they have a to Carlos in Milwaukee.
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: It's phenomenal. Tony's gonna vomit really loaded up because all
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: just it's all cheese and sauce and pepperoni in there.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and dessert.
• 23:56
  Speaker 4: You know, I thought of the different radio station I
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: worked at. They brought in up pineapple cheesecake and I
• 24:01
  Speaker 4: was like, eh, and I tried it and it was
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: life changing. And then my wife tracked down the woman
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: who made that and got it for my birthday that year.
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: It is a life changing dessert. It was a pineapple
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: cheesecake and it was heaven. That or my my wife's that.
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: Mickey makes a pretzel cherry torte. That's pretty phenomenal. So
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: I'm going on, yeah, that's really great. There you go.
• 24:23
  Speaker 2: Any weird food combos you secretly love. Her example is
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: peeb and Jay dipped in chicken noodle soup.
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: I could see that being a feeling. Really yeah.
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: I normally can get those like mine mine, that's crazy.
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: My craziest is probably butter on a pop tart, which
• 24:40
  Speaker 2: you've had. It's a delicacy.
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: Nothing that's that weird, though.
• 24:43
  Speaker 5: It's like putting toast on butter on a toast pop
• 24:48
  Speaker 5: tart was like, it's like a sweet piece of toast.
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: Some find it odd that I put butter on my
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: peanut butter and jelly. That I butter my peanut butter
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: and jelly.
• 24:56
  Speaker 3: Gross.
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: Haley butters her bagel before or cream cheese? Is that normal?
• 25:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 25:02
  Speaker 4: That sounds great to me.
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: It's delicious. It does make an impact, it.
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: Does, and buttery butter on a peb and j makes
• 25:08
  Speaker 4: it that much creamier.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: M hm, you have a weird one.
• 25:12
  Speaker 4: No, everything, I don't.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: Say your eggs and bone broth is kind of like.
• 25:18
  Speaker 3: It's like it's like people, It's like egg drop soup.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: It's literally like egg drop soup.
• 25:23
  Speaker 4: Wait a minute, which is bone broth? And what do
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: you put into it?
• 25:26
  Speaker 5: Smbled scrambled eggs, but you don't scramble the eggs. You
• 25:28
  Speaker 5: like put them in and then they cook in the
• 25:31
  Speaker 5: like egg drop soup.
• 25:32
  Speaker 1: Oh I thought you'd put scrambled eggs. Okay, I feel better.
• 25:36
  Speaker 1: One all right?
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: If you had to live in one TV show universe,
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: what would it be?
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Friends?
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: I was thinking friends too, second City, so we'd all
• 25:47
  Speaker 4: be in New York.
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: Cute?
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: What animal matches your personality the best?
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: Sonny? I was gonna say koala bear interesting or kangaroo?
• 26:03
  Speaker 5: Just hopping along, wanting everybody to get in my belly.
• 26:07
  Speaker 4: Ye know, I'm asking Chatchy beut, knowing what you know
• 26:10
  Speaker 4: about me, what animal would you say I am most
• 26:12
  Speaker 4: similar to? I could do that soon because I really
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: don't know how to answer this question, and I feel
• 26:16
  Speaker 4: like Chatchi BENSI better than I think. Really, Uh, let's
• 26:22
  Speaker 4: see a wolf.
• 26:25
  Speaker 5: Oh, I don't actually have memory on in this chat,
• 26:28
  Speaker 5: so I don't know how much about you.
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: Yes about Tanya rad that just asked to say, what
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: animal would you compare to?
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Tanya?
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: Famous celebrity Tanya rab Mine said, I'd compare Becca Tilly
• 26:40
  Speaker 2: to a golden retriever.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: Here's why. Warm and approachable, playful but loyal, relatable, comforting presence.
• 26:49
  Speaker 5: WHOA I would say, you're a golden retriever. That's nice, thanks, all.
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: Right, Tanya.
• 26:56
  Speaker 3: A humming bird that's good?
• 26:59
  Speaker 1: Just what's wrong with that?
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: I love?
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: They're so annoying.
• 27:06
  Speaker 1: I'm so excited to see a hummingbird.
• 27:08
  Speaker 5: Energetic and passionate, bright and vibrant presence, adaptable and resilient,
• 27:14
  Speaker 5: delicate but strong.
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: Oh.
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: The thing about hummingbirds that's not quite like you is
• 27:22
  Speaker 2: you have you almost you have to like work to
• 27:24
  Speaker 2: get them to come to you.
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: You don't have to. You don't have to work.
• 27:28
  Speaker 3: Yeah you do.
• 27:29
  Speaker 1: You have to.
• 27:29
  Speaker 3: You gotta put it work, work, work work.
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: That was fun. Yeah, great, great episode, guys. Banger banger,
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: banger after banger. It's what we do. But we will
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: be back next week.
• 27:46
  Speaker 4: Oh, next time we're back, we will all have listened
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: to the Tailor album.
• 27:52
  Speaker 3: Oh it's already a new month.
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: Dang, it's October. Welcome to it, beck birthday month.
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: Hey oh yeah.
• 27:58
  Speaker 2: I'm not wanting to celebrate my birthday month, but my
• 28:01
  Speaker 2: birthday is the last, not the last.
• 28:05
  Speaker 1: But we hope you have a wonderful weekend.
• 28:06
  Speaker 3: Yes we do, and we love you so much.
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: Love you, b