Latest / Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin / EPISODE 5: Your Behavior is Your Child's Blueprint

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EPISODE 5: Your Behavior is Your Child's Blueprint · Parent's Talk with Francine Juhlin

• 0:06
  Speaker 1: And you laid here the founder of the Confidence Club
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: for Kids and host of Parents Talk. I'm here with
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Jane's Elliott, who is a coach for entrepreneurs, and today
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  Speaker 1: we're going to talk about being a good role model
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  Speaker 1: for your kid, because if you want to raise a
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: strong and confident kid, you need to be a strong
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  Speaker 1: and confident adult for.
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  Speaker 2: Exactly exactly monkey see monkey do right right?
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  Speaker 1: Come on, tell us a little bit about.
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  Speaker 2: What you do. Yeah, So, so really helping people live
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: a life and business by design, not that you can't
• 0:48
  Speaker 2: be in a corporate environment and have a job and
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: have a life of freedom too. You may want to
• 0:53
  Speaker 2: search for a job that allows you to work remotely,
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  Speaker 2: just like some of my friends with jobs where we've
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  Speaker 2: been in Costa Rico or Nicaragua, or Colombia or Philippines
• 1:02
  Speaker 2: working remotely, like working full time but also playing in
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: the evening, playing on weekends too. So I often help
• 1:08
  Speaker 2: people live a life by design, and yes, make great
• 1:11
  Speaker 2: money while working less and of course having this amazing
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: incredible life, you know, working from the cottage in the summer,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: working abroad in the winter, doing really cool things, helping
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: really cool people and making a difference it's an interesting
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: topic and a great topic that you brought up and
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  Speaker 2: that we're sharing today because I think you know what
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  Speaker 2: we do. And I talked about programming as well. And
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  Speaker 2: before age eight, typically we're like, we're like glue. People
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  Speaker 2: in humans. Little humans are like glue, and anything goes
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  Speaker 2: in there. They learn, whether we directly teach them or not,
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  Speaker 2: they learn a lot of stuff. And then and age
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  Speaker 2: probably eight, eight and a half, nine to fourteen, people
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  Speaker 2: and kids, teens will model us. So they again, monkey see,
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  Speaker 2: monkey do, the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
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  Speaker 2: All that stop. It's because they're watching us, they're learning,
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  Speaker 2: they're modeling us. And and if someone like you said
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  Speaker 2: earlier friends scene, if someone says, oh you can't do that,
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  Speaker 2: or that's not possible, you have to do this or
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  Speaker 2: should or shouldn't, or money is good or bad or otherwise,
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: or money is grown trees or save your money. You
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  Speaker 2: can't afford it versus you know to your point, you know,
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  Speaker 2: well you want this, go find a way to make
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  Speaker 2: it work. How can you make this work? How can
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  Speaker 2: you go afford this? And I always tell people, don't
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  Speaker 2: say I can't afford it. Stop that avoid saying I
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  Speaker 2: can't afford it, say I am affording it. I need
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  Speaker 2: to go out there find a way. I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: figure out way to do it, whether it's whatever, working more,
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  Speaker 2: you know, getting overtime, another job, starting a side hustle,
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  Speaker 2: finding money in the street, returning dear bottles, whatever it is.
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  Speaker 2: There's a million ways to make money there. I mean,
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  Speaker 2: you could. You can sell some of your stuff you
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: don't use anymore. Most people have thousands of dollars in
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  Speaker 2: their basement and garage and stuff they don't use anymore,
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  Speaker 2: taken up and take up space and dust. So I
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  Speaker 2: think that's one of the biggest things too, is yes,
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  Speaker 2: living life by design and really also, I guess they're
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  Speaker 2: teaching in programming your kids if you will, because we're
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  Speaker 2: always you know, people are always programming the kids just
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  Speaker 2: that anything is possible, that they are limitless, versus no,
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  Speaker 2: you can't because of that, or no, this won't work,
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  Speaker 2: or if you only were this, so why didn't you
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  Speaker 2: get that mark or why did you only get ninety
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  Speaker 2: or eighty or whatever, why didn't you do better? It
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  Speaker 2: makes kids feel like they're worthless and not good enough,
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  Speaker 2: and that will perpetuate in terms of subconscious automatic cycles
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  Speaker 2: later in life where they will literally reinforce things and
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  Speaker 2: taking certain actions or avoid certain actions because they felt
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  Speaker 2: that weren't good enough, or that money that doesn't go
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  Speaker 2: on trees, or that no, you can or you can't
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  Speaker 2: afford it. And unfortunately a lot of people are installing
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  Speaker 2: these poverty programs or end up in kids, you know,
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  Speaker 2: especially not walking your walk or walking your talk. They learn, well,
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  Speaker 2: I don't have to do what I say. I can
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  Speaker 2: say one thing and I can do another, which will
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  Speaker 2: lead you to be not a very every charismatic or
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  Speaker 2: trustworthy individual, which again will affect your eloy, even affect customers, sales,
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  Speaker 2: your job. You make it fired later on down the
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  Speaker 2: road just because the parent wasn't someone who walked there talk.
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  Speaker 2: They said one thing and they did another, or said
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  Speaker 2: they wouldn't and they did it anyways. So I think,
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  Speaker 2: I think we're always leading little people, and we're always
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  Speaker 2: always always teaching them and showing them by our words,
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  Speaker 2: our actions or behaviors or lack of as well. It's
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  Speaker 2: that goes in the glue.
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  Speaker 1: You just reminded me of two interactions I had with
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  Speaker 1: my dad. First, I wanted to go to college and
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  Speaker 1: he said, oh, money, money doesn't grow on trees. I
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  Speaker 1: can't afford it. You're just a girl, You're going to
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  Speaker 1: get married anyways, what do you need college?
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  Speaker 2: Talk about disempowering my So.
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  Speaker 1: Then so then I figured out, well, I could join
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  Speaker 1: the Navy and get an education and a job at
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  Speaker 1: the same time. Oh, you'll never make it through boot camp.
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  Speaker 1: So well, that that was that was a dear to me.
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  Speaker 1: He dared me, you know, he said I couldn't.
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  Speaker 2: So I was gonna. I was going to prove that
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  Speaker 2: I could do it. Anyways.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, right, But I did it. But throughout my life
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  Speaker 1: I always remember, well, I'm just a girl, and my
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  Speaker 1: dad doesn't have any faith in me. He doesn't think
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  Speaker 1: I could do it, And that stopped me from doing
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  Speaker 1: a lot of things that I could have done. Even
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  Speaker 1: though I had this great career and I was in
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  Speaker 1: the Navy and I was an aircraft electrician. There's so
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  Speaker 1: many more things I could have done if I felt worthy.
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  Speaker 1: And that even it took a lot of deprogramming and
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  Speaker 1: reprogramming for me to remember those words from my father
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  Speaker 1: and how they affected me. So how would you suggest
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  Speaker 1: parents avoid that from happening?
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  Speaker 2: I think that it's it's and you you you you
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  Speaker 2: you know you took the words right out of my mouth.
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  Speaker 2: I mean parents, sometimes it's that obvious, that overt. Sometimes
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  Speaker 2: it's less obvious, less overt. Maybe somethings they don't even
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  Speaker 2: realize it doing it. Bless their hearts. I mean they
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  Speaker 2: they were programmed and and you know there was no
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  Speaker 2: parenting one on one book kind of thing. So, but
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  Speaker 2: just just making sure to never tell your child that
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  Speaker 2: anything is impossible. I mean, I mean, look, we're probably
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  Speaker 2: gonna Elon Musk is going to go mo to Mars
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  Speaker 2: in a few years. Uh, you know, we have electric
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  Speaker 2: cars now, all the stuff we do, We have AI
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  Speaker 2: we have robots, we have things that will do our
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  Speaker 2: homework now.
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  Speaker 1: Right, did you ever think this was possible?
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  Speaker 2: Exactly? That this is more powerful probably than all the
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  Speaker 2: computers in the world at in the probably the nineties
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  Speaker 2: or even two thousands. Literally, these things are more powerful
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  Speaker 2: involved the computers in the world, and we have in
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  Speaker 2: our hands, and and it's so interesting, and it's it's
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  Speaker 2: it's fascinating the limiting belief people have in the programming well,
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  Speaker 2: I mean, will be right just before a year or
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  Speaker 2: two before they flew, he said, he said, man will
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  Speaker 2: not fly for a thousand years. But it's because they
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  Speaker 2: were operating on other people's limiting beliefs, other people's research
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  Speaker 2: and science and information about airplanes. So when he said,
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  Speaker 2: you know, let's throw that stuff out for everything we
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  Speaker 2: know out, let's do our own research, our own thinking,
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  Speaker 2: our own design, they flew like three months later, three
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  Speaker 2: four months, let's let's do something different. Let's throw out that.
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  Speaker 2: What do we think and what can we One of
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  Speaker 2: the presidents of IBM said, you know, computers are just
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  Speaker 2: not practical. There may be a few in universities, but
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  Speaker 2: there's no reason for someone to have computer in their home.
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  Speaker 2: Now most of us have like nine, you know, and
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  Speaker 2: there's nine there's nine computers.
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  Speaker 1: My car, my refrigerator has a computer.
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  Speaker 2: And who'd have thunk, right, So it's being very very careful,
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  Speaker 2: I think, not to say anything is impossible, anything is unreasonable.
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  Speaker 2: If they want to be the president of Earth, awesome,
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  Speaker 2: be the be the best damn president of Earth that
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  Speaker 2: you can be. And what you need to do to
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  Speaker 2: do that? You know, what is what education? What training,
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  Speaker 2: what skills? What interpersonal skills? Do you need? Amazing? Be
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  Speaker 2: the president of Earth or whatever, whatever it is, right,
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  Speaker 2: and being really careful about what we tell kids and
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  Speaker 2: teach them about money or success or grades or school
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  Speaker 2: or smarts or our way or obesity or as I
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  Speaker 2: was there too, anything. I think we need to be
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  Speaker 2: very very careful. And again, if you want someone to
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  Speaker 2: do something, often you have to do it first, lead
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  Speaker 2: them and lead your kids, just like it worked too
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  Speaker 2: in business, right, we have to lead lead people that way.
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  Speaker 2: A great leader also does you know some doing or
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  Speaker 2: or should I say a different way. A great leader
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  Speaker 2: will will lead the pack, will lead other people, show
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  Speaker 2: it's possible. They'll walk to talk to other people walk
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  Speaker 2: to talk as well. Same thing. If you want something
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  Speaker 2: in your kids, own it, take responsibility and own it
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  Speaker 2: in yourselves. And if you don't want your kids to
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  Speaker 2: learn something negative and then obviously avoid doing it in yourselves,
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  Speaker 2: whether drinking excessive or eating crap excessively or whatever it is,
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  Speaker 2: because they're going to learn it. I had had a
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  Speaker 2: client years ago when I was a nutritious, and she
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  Speaker 2: had this this this programming from her dad, and she
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  Speaker 2: would get on a diet and stop it. She'd hire
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: a personal trainer, spend thousands and then bail. She's like,
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  Speaker 2: I'm wasting money, James time, energy, I'm unhappy, I'm overweight,
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  Speaker 2: and and she's like, but you know, you know, you know,
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  Speaker 2: she's like, you know, my dad had always said we're
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  Speaker 2: just a big bone Jamaican family. And then really, I
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  Speaker 2: think lose weight. And I said, it's not Jenny, that
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  Speaker 2: you can't lose weight. I said, it's that your diet
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  Speaker 2: freaking sucks. Yes, And she's like, well, isn't it genetic?
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  Speaker 2: And you know my dad was overweight too. I'm like,
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  Speaker 2: his diet probably sucked worse than yours. Right, Yes, again,
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  Speaker 2: we learn, we learned, so be very careful, you know,
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  Speaker 2: and and and and I guess get out of your
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  Speaker 2: own way and and make it about kids, and make
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  Speaker 2: it about leading kids. And you know, if you have
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  Speaker 2: the desire or the inklinged emotionally eat, well maybe if
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  Speaker 2: you do it in front of you, be very careful
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  Speaker 2: with doing it in front of your kids, or don't
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  Speaker 2: avoid doing it for them. If you get cravings to
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  Speaker 2: emotionally eat, find carrot sticks or water or something or
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  Speaker 2: whatever it is, to avoid programming them and showing them well, ye,
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  Speaker 2: it's okay to bury your emotions and beings and chips
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  Speaker 2: all day and Sundays and ice cream because guess who's
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  Speaker 2: going to do it too, And guess who's going to
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  Speaker 2: develop that that strategy, that programming. When they're sad or
• 10:24
  Speaker 2: upset or angry too, then the hand goes in the
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  Speaker 2: chips or the spoon goes in the ice cream because
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  Speaker 2: they learned it from you. So my invitation is just
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  Speaker 2: be very very careful of anything we do, because the
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  Speaker 2: little ones are watching and they're learning, and you're darn
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  Speaker 2: right they're watching. You're darn right they're gonna take it
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  Speaker 2: in and learn. Even if they're one or two or
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  Speaker 2: three or four. They like glue. Like glue, they're always watching,
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  Speaker 2: always watching.
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  Speaker 1: And come to think of it, that's probably where I
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  Speaker 1: learned how to eat my emotions. Never thought about that
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  Speaker 1: growing up. Dad just ate a lot. But I wonder
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  Speaker 1: if he was eating his emotions fair enough.
• 11:00
  Speaker 2: It's a good point. It's a very good point.
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  Speaker 1: You know.
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  Speaker 2: I'll leave parents with this too. It's just anything anything
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  Speaker 2: that is even remotely limiting, avoid speaking it for yourself
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  Speaker 2: or for kids, or if you kids try to encourage you.
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  Speaker 2: Oh you know, mommy, dad, you can do it, or
• 11:14
  Speaker 2: go do this or do that, and avoid saying anything
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  Speaker 2: limiting to them or in front of them, even to yourself,
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  Speaker 2: because you are literally programming your brain with the words
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  Speaker 2: you use. Oh I can't because i'm this, or i'm
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: not enough this or i'm so so dumber, so whatever,
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  Speaker 2: I'm not good at math or talking to people or whatever. Cancel, canceled.
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: But any of that stuff. Avoids saying it, even to
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  Speaker 2: your self, because you're programming you, and if you say
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  Speaker 2: it a lot, I can promise you programming to your
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  Speaker 2: kids as well. So so just be be self aware,
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  Speaker 2: self aware of what you do, what you say to yourself,
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: because I want you to be free as well, and
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: of course your kids because I want them to be
• 11:49
  Speaker 2: free as well. So that's a couple of big piece
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  Speaker 2: of advice.
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  Speaker 1: I would recommend meditation, self reflection, self awareness, self awareness,
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  Speaker 1: three keys to life. Right, We're starting to run out
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  Speaker 1: of time here, so I want to make sure you
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: tell everybody what you offer and how they can find you.
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  Speaker 2: Beautiful beautiful, So yes, if you have a business and
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: even a job, I can help with two. Of course,
• 12:15
  Speaker 2: provide you have a remote job or want to move
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: into a remote job, or you're interested in working for
• 12:19
  Speaker 2: a remote job. I help people live a life by
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: design and have a business by design growth business, Yes,
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  Speaker 2: make more money while avoiding things like burnout, self doubt,
• 12:27
  Speaker 2: overwhelm and impolister syndrome, and finding ways to work more effectively,
• 12:32
  Speaker 2: work more efficiently so you can and be in more flow,
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: be more productive so you can work less, delegate all
• 12:38
  Speaker 2: the stuff you don't want to do so you can
• 12:40
  Speaker 2: do only what you do all day long. And of
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: course you could have more free time for fun, family, friends, travel.
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: I'm a big travel guy. And whatever it is you
• 12:48
  Speaker 2: really want, it's living life and by design, including redesigning
• 12:52
  Speaker 2: your business and also redesigning this thing too, because this
• 12:56
  Speaker 2: is a big part of it. And we work on
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: your own incongruencies or your inner conflicts and any self
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: limiting beliefs that get in your own way, any patterns, habits,
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: things that that changed them up. They are getting in
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  Speaker 2: the way of you living an amazing life and yes,
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: making lots of money and having an incredible lifestyle as well.
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  Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought that up because it reminds me
• 13:18
  Speaker 1: of when I was getting ready to retire and I
• 13:20
  Speaker 1: thought I've been an aircraft electrician my whole life. What
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: am I if not an aircraft electrician? And I had
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: to deprogram myself and reprogram myself to understand that I
• 13:34
  Speaker 1: am not what I do, I am not what I know, I.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Am not your weight, not your anything exactly.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: And I had to build my self up to have
• 13:47
  Speaker 1: the confidence to become an author, to stand up on
• 13:51
  Speaker 1: a stage and deliver a forty five minute keynote address.
• 13:56
  Speaker 1: I had to design my life that I wanted after
• 14:00
  Speaker 1: I retired from the job I loved.
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  Speaker 2: It is true, and you write so many people at
• 14:05
  Speaker 2: a great point identify with whether you go create an
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: identity out of a job, or an illness, or a
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: family or cultural religion, you name it, or what out
• 14:12
  Speaker 2: of whatever right this has been? And how can I
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: do that? Or I'm not that You can be anything
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: you want. You can, and you can change your identity too.
• 14:18
  Speaker 2: Look at Superman. You know it's Superwoman. They change their identity.
• 14:20
  Speaker 2: You're gonna end in a phone booth. If anyone wants
• 14:24
  Speaker 2: any help with us, By the way, feel free to
• 14:26
  Speaker 2: visit limitless dash entrepreneur dot com. I can even have
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: a free gift for you as well, if you comment
• 14:32
  Speaker 2: the word freedom down below in the and the comments
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: that have a cool free training for you as well,
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: that may may just rock your world. Otherwise, look for
• 14:41
  Speaker 2: me James Robert Elliott on LinkedIn, on Facebook and even
• 14:45
  Speaker 2: on Instagram as well as YouTube James R for Robert
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Elliott ninety nine on on YouTube. So this was fun.
• 14:54
  Speaker 2: Thanks for having me.
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: Friend, Thank you, and I will put all these links
• 14:58
  Speaker 1: in the description in down below, so check it out.
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: Beautiful, amazing, amazing, amazing, I'm rude, amazing. Thank you very
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: much