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Bonus IMPROV - They Can Do Anything Teeth Can Do · Very Fine Friends

• 0:00
  Welcome to a very fine friend.
• 0:17
  Funnish improv.
• 0:19
  That's my ventriloquist skills.
• 0:20
  Not very good.
• 0:21
  Oh my God, who said that?
• 0:22
  Who said that?
• 0:23
  I'm scared.
• 0:25
  Hey, Francis, how's it going?
• 0:26
  is there a way to ventriloquist without having a stupid grin on your face like if you're an amateur
• 0:34
  sure how are you doing jenna how are you i'm good uh the audience can't see that we are doing good
• 0:42
  faces yeah sounds like we have just just just yeah doing our cheeks great faces great faces
• 0:49
  Joe can we get a word
• 0:52
  Sure can
• 0:53
  Your suggestion is golf
• 0:55
  Golf
• 0:56
  It's applicable to me
• 1:01
  It's applicable to both of us
• 1:03
  Because you have a Volkswagen Golf
• 1:06
  And I play golf
• 1:07
  No
• 1:08
  When I was a kid
• 1:10
  My dad took me to Mexico
• 1:11
  And we went to play golf at a golf course
• 1:13
  And
• 1:14
  I would say I was bad
• 1:17
  But he didn't really teach me
• 1:19
  He doesn't know how to teach.
• 1:21
  Yeah.
• 1:21
  Does he know how to play?
• 1:23
  I don't know.
• 1:25
  No?
• 1:26
  All I know is I went to swing and I hit the ball, but I also let go of the golf club.
• 1:31
  And it went flying and it went in water.
• 1:33
  And it was November.
• 1:35
  I remember that distinctly because someone drove up on a golf cart and they were like,
• 1:40
  I'll go get it.
• 1:41
  I'll go get your club.
• 1:44
  And we were like, no, no, no.
• 1:47
  It's freezing.
• 1:48
  like the water's too cold he's like no no no i'll get it i'll get it and he goes to get in he like
• 1:54
  rolls his pants up and he goes to the water and we're like really it's fine he's like no i'm gonna
• 1:59
  get it and he stepped into the water and he goes i'm not gonna get it he came out and we're like
• 2:05
  okay thanks so it's in there somewhere to this day wow was it like a child size or were you using
• 2:15
  adult clubs? I don't know. I've always been like a humongous sack of flesh. So anyway,
• 2:22
  it's based on height. So would my dad use a child size? I was going to say, so it might
• 2:29
  have been, it might've been Dennis's and also child size. Maybe. Or maybe ladies clubs.
• 2:36
  Yes Um I recently got a whole new set of golf clubs which is very nice It was a birthday present for my parents Thank you Shout out parents
• 2:49
  But when I was getting like fitted for like or like seeing which ones I was going to get,
• 2:54
  I didn't even know this was a thing.
• 2:56
  So I didn't get ladies clubs.
• 2:58
  I got senior men's clubs.
• 3:02
  I did not know that that was a thing, but apparently it's like the strength of the shaft.
• 3:09
  Stop it.
• 3:10
  I swear.
• 3:10
  You're being goofy.
• 3:11
  I'm not.
• 3:12
  I swear.
• 3:13
  Senior men, strength of shaft.
• 3:15
  I'm telling you.
• 3:16
  It's a thing.
• 3:17
  It's like a 55 plus.
• 3:19
  It's like, because it's like, it has a little bit of give in it, but not as much give as
• 3:24
  a woman's club would.
• 3:27
  Because I'm strong, you see.
• 3:28
  You are.
• 3:28
  I'm strong.
• 3:29
  You are strong.
• 3:30
  Yeah.
• 3:31
  Well, that's beautiful.
• 3:32
  And it's working out well.
• 3:33
  Yeah.
• 3:34
  I played the other day and I started out the front nine.
• 3:39
  I did not play well,
• 3:39
  but I,
• 3:40
  I,
• 3:40
  I handily won the back nine,
• 3:42
  which was great.
• 3:44
  I really want to just play well enough to beat our idiot friends.
• 3:47
  It's my only goal.
• 3:48
  Shout out.
• 3:49
  You guys know who you are.
• 3:52
  You guys know,
• 3:53
  they know,
• 3:54
  you know,
• 3:54
  you're idiots.
• 3:56
  That's like the one thing they know.
• 3:59
  That tracks with idiocy.
• 4:01
  Cause of idiot.
• 4:02
  dumb asses
• 4:04
  and now
• 4:06
  improv
• 4:08
  John happy college graduation
• 4:16
  oh hey thanks
• 4:18
  thank you you're gonna love your gift
• 4:20
  oh you didn't have to get me anything
• 4:23
  I know but I wanted to
• 4:24
  it's not every day you graduate college
• 4:26
  I hope not that was rough
• 4:28
  anyway here it is
• 4:30
  it's dentures
• 4:31
  oh dentures yeah you put them in your mouth and they can do anything teeth can do
• 4:40
  oh thanks thanks man but i'm i don't need dent i'm i got a full set of teeth still
• 4:48
  we'll just save them for later they have a lifetime warranty
• 4:52
  okay that's good thank you thank you yeah that's not the end i can see you're a little
• 4:58
  disappointed that's not it i'm just confused but don't be confused this makes sense you're a senior
• 5:05
  now well well okay well i graduated but i yeah yeah you know you know there's a difference right
• 5:14
  yeah yeah hey you know what let's start over here's the other half of your gift oh oh hey cool
• 5:20
  Oh, depends.
• 5:26
  That a What wrong These feel like joke gifts are these joke gifts john you know i don joke
• 5:35
  that's true it's you're defining i thought maybe you got some help or something
• 5:40
  someone helped you form a joke for the first time ever why would i want depends dude dude i'm
• 5:45
  continent.
• 5:50
  It's not a bad,
• 5:51
  it's frankly,
• 5:52
  I'm offended because I thought really long and hard about what my dear,
• 5:56
  dear friend,
• 5:57
  John wanted and deserved.
• 5:59
  And I was so happy when I got these and I was like,
• 6:02
  John's going to be like,
• 6:04
  yes,
• 6:05
  look,
• 6:06
  no,
• 6:08
  Barabbas.
• 6:08
  I appreciate the effort.
• 6:11
  I do.
• 6:11
  and I appreciate that you're giving me gifts,
• 6:15
  but if this is the gifts, man, I don't want them.
• 6:19
  I'm sorry.
• 6:20
  I'm going to be honest with you.
• 6:20
  I don't want to be reminded of my future mortality.
• 6:25
  Oh, oh no, Barabbas, you already started giving the gifts.
• 6:29
  Oh, I'm sorry.
• 6:29
  I'm late, you guys.
• 6:30
  Oh, hey.
• 6:31
  Hey, it's kind of a bummer, but.
• 6:34
  Oh, Judas, how's it going?
• 6:37
  Well, it's good.
• 6:38
  I'm sorry I'm late.
• 6:39
  I didn't know we were starting the gift giving already.
• 6:41
  I'm late because I was getting one of your graduation gifts.
• 6:45
  Oh, you guys.
• 6:46
  Barabbas and I worked on it together.
• 6:48
  Yeah.
• 6:48
  Oh, no.
• 6:50
  Now I'm a little worried.
• 6:51
  It's an earn.
• 6:54
  Guys.
• 6:55
  You earned it.
• 6:57
  Yeah.
• 6:59
  I laugh not from being a joke.
• 7:02
  I know.
• 7:02
  You don't get it.
• 7:05
  Judas is the one with the sense of humor.
• 7:08
  Guys, guys, guys.
• 7:09
  I'm young. I know I went to college a little bit late, but a 28 is not that old to be graduating
• 7:17
  from college. Okay. And you're making me feel like a real old person. All right. You know how
• 7:22
  your lease is about to be up? Yeah. Yeah. Well, we went in together on an assisted living facility.
• 7:31
  facility
• 7:32
  you guys
• 7:34
  don't they have rules about who can actually
• 7:37
  live there? No
• 7:38
  they don't? I thought there was rules
• 7:41
  no the only rule is college graduates like you
• 7:43
  big boy
• 7:44
  you have to graduate college to get into one of those?
• 7:46
  and be willing to have someone else wipe your butt
• 7:48
  and
• 7:50
  we've been to some of your parties
• 7:52
  we know that that's not going to be a problem for you
• 7:54
  okay that was supposed to be
• 7:57
  in confidence Judas
• 7:58
  you say you betrayed me Judas?
• 8:01
  I thought you told Barabbas about the wiping.
• 8:06
  You see this is God okay Can you believe this is Judas Yes Barabbas I frankly upset We go out of our way to take care of one of our oldest friends
• 8:19
  Okay, how do you mean that?
• 8:21
  What?
• 8:21
  How do you mean that?
• 8:22
  Well, we've known you for a week, so how do you think we mean it?
• 8:25
  No, you've known me, okay.
• 8:30
  You've not known me, you've known me for a little longer than a week.
• 8:33
  Who's keeping track?
• 8:35
  I am.
• 8:36
  Age is just a number.
• 8:38
  It's about how you feel.
• 8:39
  And I don't feel like any of these things.
• 8:41
  I don't feel like it depends or dentures or an urn.
• 8:48
  You know what?
• 8:49
  Screw you guys.
• 8:50
  No.
• 8:50
  I'm never going to feel like this.
• 8:53
  I'm never going to feel this old.
• 8:56
  Okay.
• 8:57
  Oh, God.
• 8:57
  Judas, this is...
• 8:59
  I mean, sorry.
• 9:00
  Oh, I thought you were talking to yourself.
• 9:01
  I do that sometimes,
• 9:03
  but I was trying to talk to you, Barabbas.
• 9:06
  This is really awkward.
• 9:09
  That last gift that we talked about.
• 9:12
  Yeah, I wrote, yeah.
• 9:13
  Yeah.
• 9:14
  What about it?
• 9:14
  It's on its way.
• 9:16
  At this point, it's going to be a huge disaster.
• 9:18
  I know.
• 9:19
  Well, it's already coming.
• 9:21
  Yeah.
• 9:22
  Okay.
• 9:22
  Knock, knock, knock.
• 9:23
  Oh, God, speaking of.
• 9:26
  Guys.
• 9:27
  Just open the door, John.
• 9:30
  Okay, fine.
• 9:30
  This is the last thing, though, okay?
• 9:33
  Okay.
• 9:34
  Hello.
• 9:35
  Hi.
• 9:36
  We're a couple of sexy 20-year-olds.
• 9:41
  We were told that there was an old man that wants to relive his glory days and get married to us.
• 9:46
  No, no, no.
• 9:47
  I'm sorry.
• 9:47
  It's not going to work.
• 9:48
  Girls, I'm sorry.
• 9:49
  Sorry, hot, attractive, steaming youth.
• 9:52
  Go back to the hostel that you're currently staying in.
• 9:55
  Yeah, thanks anyway.
• 9:56
  We don't need you.
• 9:57
  He's not into the old guy stuff.
• 9:59
  Sorry.
• 10:00
  What?
• 10:01
  Yeah, I know.
• 10:02
  It's a real bummer.
• 10:03
  Oh, we were ready to go to.
• 10:06
  You could come back.
• 10:08
  No, I mean, you could come back.
• 10:10
  No, go on, ladies.
• 10:12
  Yeah, no, no.
• 10:12
  Yeah.
• 10:13
  Hey, ladies, check out this urn.
• 10:15
  No, we're already walking away.
• 10:16
  No, we only want to be touched by old hands.
• 10:18
  Yeah, and I have a new IUD.
• 10:22
  Cut to 27 years later.
• 10:26
  Well, here it is.
• 10:29
  Finally, 55 plus.
• 10:30
  I knew it wouldn't feel any different.
• 10:35
  I feel the same.
• 10:38
  That's real good, John.
• 10:40
  Now, if you could just spread your cheeks a little for me.
• 10:46
  It's Ian.