Latest / Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce / 369. A Year After Divorce: 3 Women Tell Us What It Took to Become Themselves Again

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369. A Year After Divorce: 3 Women Tell Us What It Took to Become Themselves Again · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

0:00
SPEAKER_02: Ladies, if you are tuned in today, something insane is about to happen.
0:04
SPEAKER_02: Dawn is on vacation, and for the first time in Dear Divorce Diary podcast history, Joy and I are unsupervised and we are fucking ready to rock this morning.
0:14
SPEAKER_02: Joy, how are you feeling?
0:16
SPEAKER_05: I'm very excited.
0:18
SPEAKER_05: It's like the first time the mom leaves you home alone, you know?
0:20
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
0:21
SPEAKER_05: You you realize you can microwave the chocolate chips and nobody's gonna, you know, like it's like oh yeah.
0:26
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
0:27
SPEAKER_02: While the boss is away, right?
0:29
SPEAKER_02: Right.
0:30
SPEAKER_02: Today we're so excited.
0:31
SPEAKER_02: We had to turn it up a notch.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: So we actually have three women here from our current DDW cohort that are here to share their experiences about their divorce and the program.
0:41
SPEAKER_02: So grab a coffee, grab a blanket.
0:43
SPEAKER_02: You don't want to miss this.
0:50
SPEAKER_00: Hi, love.
0:51
SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence.
1:01
SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorce.
1:07
SPEAKER_00: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
1:20
SPEAKER_02: All right, ladies.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: Oh my God, what is going on?
1:24
SPEAKER_02: We have Kelly, Joe, and Christiana here from the current cohort of DDW.
1:28
SPEAKER_02: Ladies, good morning.
1:30
SPEAKER_02: Good morning.
1:32
SPEAKER_02: We are so excited for our audience to get a look behind the scenes at your journeys through divorce, your journeys through this program.
1:41
SPEAKER_02: And so I just wanted to start off by asking this question, right?
1:45
SPEAKER_02: I want you guys to really take us back before you joined the program, right?
1:50
SPEAKER_02: What did your lives actually feel like?
1:52
SPEAKER_02: And what was happening that finally made you say something has to change?
1:57
SPEAKER_02: And I'm going to start with Christiana.
1:58
SPEAKER_02: What was that moment like for you?
2:00
SPEAKER_07: So I was in a free fall.
2:03
SPEAKER_07: Um from the time our like launch day happened, um, for when I found the program and when my um husband of 30 years asked for the divorce was two months.
2:16
SPEAKER_07: So I was um I was spiraling and I just knew that I needed a lifeline.
2:23
SPEAKER_07: And so I, as you all know, I wasn't super woo-woo and when we started, but it just something clicked, and I s and I said, okay, I can't do this alone.
2:34
SPEAKER_07: So I need a group, and I and I just trusted that this was gonna be the group for me.
2:40
SPEAKER_03: So Kelly, how about you?
2:43
SPEAKER_03: Before finding the group, I was doing traditional talk therapy and felt like every week I was spending one hour just catching my therapist up on what had happened since the last time we spoke, and that I wasn't making any progress.
2:54
SPEAKER_03: I wasn't looking with any tools, and I didn't feel like my circle of friends or family at the time really had the capacity to hold me in the way I needed to be held.
3:04
SPEAKER_03: And I knew if nothing changed, nothing would change.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
3:09
SPEAKER_02: Joe, what was that journey like for you coming in?
3:12
SPEAKER_04: Well I I think I was physically dying.
3:15
SPEAKER_04: My hair was falling out, I lost 60 pounds, and I couldn't sleep.
3:21
SPEAKER_04: And yes, I had a therapist, I have a therapist that I talked to once a week, but but I wanted a group and not just a group, a slapdash group.
3:31
SPEAKER_04: I wanted a cohort.
3:33
SPEAKER_04: I wanted a group that would stick with me, the same women, for a year, and I wanted to be held by that group.
3:43
SPEAKER_05: Love that, love that.
3:46
SPEAKER_05: Ladies, what what almost kept you from joining?
3:49
SPEAKER_05: Uh Joe?
3:50
SPEAKER_04: I'll go first because I'm I can remember last year talking to Tiff and Dawn and going, I'm so ashamed that I'm gonna be the fucking oldest one in the group at 64.
4:04
SPEAKER_04: I'm gonna be the oldest one who picked a bad man, married a bad man, made children with a bad man, and then stayed married to him for four decades.
4:14
SPEAKER_04: Like so much shame that I'm gonna be the oldest bitch in the group.
4:18
SPEAKER_04: And guess what?
4:19
SPEAKER_04: I was, and guess what?
4:20
SPEAKER_04: I think it turned out to be my superpower.
4:24
SPEAKER_02: I would absolutely agree.
4:25
SPEAKER_02: Joe has been like the resonant freaking badass in the whole program.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: Right.
4:29
SPEAKER_02: Mama Joe, Nana Joe.
4:33
SPEAKER_03: Love it so much.
4:34
SPEAKER_03: Kelly, what about you?
4:36
SPEAKER_03: Honestly, what kept me from joining initially was the cost of the program.
4:40
SPEAKER_03: And I found you guys by what can only be described as like divine intervention.
4:46
SPEAKER_03: Like I went to find a divorce podcast, like Googled what was the top-ranking one, found whatever Google said was a top-ranking one, scrolled down until there was like a title that interested me, and it was the title where this current podcast was interviewing Don.
5:01
SPEAKER_03: And I just feel like the universe is pointing me in this direction and asked me to take this leap of faith with you guys, and I regret nothing.
5:08
SPEAKER_05: I love that.
5:09
SPEAKER_07: Christiana?
5:10
SPEAKER_07: So although I was I was panicking, right?
5:14
SPEAKER_07: I was in that really early stage, um, my world was spinning.
5:18
SPEAKER_07: And I remember saying to Don at the initial call, I'm worrying that I'm rushing into the healing.
5:23
SPEAKER_07: I'm worried that I'm just trying to find something to check a box, stick a band-aid on, because the chaos was so um big and that the internal noise was so loud that um I said, you know, is am I just grasping for anything and or is this really gonna work for me?
5:42
SPEAKER_07: And so I I almost didn't join because I thought it was too soon.
5:47
SPEAKER_07: You know, that I wasn't divorced yet.
5:48
SPEAKER_07: We hadn't like I had accepted that we were going to get divorced, but we hadn't done anything else.
5:54
SPEAKER_07: We were still living together.
5:56
SPEAKER_07: We um we hadn't started the agreement, like none of the stuff.
5:59
SPEAKER_07: And so I sort of felt like, do I really belong?
6:02
SPEAKER_07: Because um I'm not stuck in recovery of divorce.
6:05
SPEAKER_07: I'm at the very beginning of it.
6:07
SPEAKER_02: So and I remember too, Joy, if you recall last cohort, we had someone in the program that was just separated.
6:14
SPEAKER_02: Like they hadn't even really decided whether or not they were going to get divorced yet.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: She just wanted to heal herself first prior to even stepping in, right?
6:21
SPEAKER_02: So it was like this journey of her trying to figure out who she was without him, um, which was a really kind of a beautiful, beautiful journey.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: That's awesome.
6:28
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
6:30
SPEAKER_02: So I'm really curious because I want to know what you guys thought the program was going to be, and then what it was actually like once you got inside.
6:41
SPEAKER_02: Uh, yeah.
6:44
SPEAKER_02: It's like how many disclaimers and warnings can we put on our marketing shit, right?
6:48
SPEAKER_02: To like let women know what they're about to step into.
6:51
SPEAKER_02: Uh, Joe, how would you answer that question?
6:54
SPEAKER_04: I think the program was everything I thought it was gonna be.
6:59
SPEAKER_04: I have found a loving cohort to keep to heal in.
7:03
SPEAKER_04: However, I did not realize how much hard work that was gonna be.
7:09
SPEAKER_04: It's it's hard work and you have to be tenacious and stick with it.
7:13
SPEAKER_02: Mm-hmm.
7:14
SPEAKER_02: What do you feel like has been the hardest thing for you in this program when you talk about hard work?
7:18
SPEAKER_02: What does that mean to you?
7:20
SPEAKER_04: Um You know, like when we were in retreat and we all had to do our shadow work and look at our deepest, darkest shit, which started which started with our parents and and to not be ashamed about that anymore and to have compassion for ourselves.
7:41
SPEAKER_04: And it's just I mean it's hard to do that, but to be truthful about yourself in front of others.
7:48
SPEAKER_04: But it was the same others.
7:50
SPEAKER_04: It was all the same others for 11 months.
7:54
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
7:56
SPEAKER_02: Christiana, what about you?
7:57
SPEAKER_02: What did you think it was gonna be versus what it was like when you got inside?
8:00
SPEAKER_07: So I I didn't hear much of the marketing ahead of time, so all I knew it was a group of women.
8:06
SPEAKER_07: And I knew that there'd be um various coaching aspects, um, IFS, which I knew of tangentially, um, but I had never done or so that was intriguing to me, a tool that I'd never used before.
8:21
SPEAKER_07: Maybe this would be helpful.
8:23
SPEAKER_07: Um, but like I said to you guys the whole time, I feel like there was a syllabus I never read.
8:27
SPEAKER_07: I'm constantly surprised at what the workshop topics are or what the group coaching, and I know the group coaching emerges based on our needs, so it's not like something you could have given us back in October for the whole year.
8:40
SPEAKER_07: But I feel it constantly like, oh, we're doing this now, and and it's been good for me because I'm such a planner and I and I like to control things.
8:48
SPEAKER_07: So I'm continually surprised, but in a good way.
8:52
SPEAKER_07: And so and also I think that's because there's such trust, right?
8:56
SPEAKER_07: Like your team, the coaching team, um, is so phenomenal, how you compliment each other, but in the care of the group, like I can show up feeling like I have no idea what's gonna happen for me or in the group and and still feel safe and still learn so much and feel like I am making progress, which I gotta tell you is a 180 from how I run most of my life, which is you know, I'm down to the minute I know what's happening.
9:22
SPEAKER_07: And so um, yeah, but beforehand, I was like, all I knew it was a group and a group of women, and we were all getting divorced, and I was like, okay.
9:32
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
9:33
SPEAKER_02: And I think we do that on purpose, obviously, for the women out there that love to be controllers and love to know what's going on all the time.
9:39
SPEAKER_02: You're not always gonna know what's going on all the time at all.
9:42
SPEAKER_07: I didn't see the divorce coming, so exactly, exactly.
9:48
SPEAKER_02: So it's just kind of like for us too, it's very when we say it's a personalized healing program, it truly is because not even not like our cohorts don't even look the same, right?
9:58
SPEAKER_02: It's like each cohort has a different set of needs.
10:00
SPEAKER_02: Like the women in the cohorts have a different set of things that they need.
10:03
SPEAKER_02: And so even the group coaching stuff that we did with your cohort, some of that we didn't do with the last one, you know?
10:08
SPEAKER_02: It's just like we pivot and we just kind of go where that particular group of women needs to go.
10:13
SPEAKER_02: So I love that.
10:14
SPEAKER_02: And of course, we love to keep you on your toes.
10:16
SPEAKER_02: So that's always fun.
10:18
SPEAKER_03: Kelly, how about you?
10:20
SPEAKER_03: I came into this group setting knowing that I needed it, but also kicking and screaming about it.
10:25
SPEAKER_03: Like I felt I felt like when I was in college and they were like, okay, for this project that's gonna be 50% of your grade, you're not gonna be in a group.
10:33
SPEAKER_03: You're like, shit, I don't want to be in a group.
10:34
SPEAKER_03: I gotta wanna do this.
10:36
SPEAKER_03: And I remember even like in my intake call with Dawn being like, Dawn, like, I'm not gonna want to come to this retreat like with these women.
10:43
SPEAKER_03: I don't know.
10:44
SPEAKER_03: Like, this is silly.
10:46
SPEAKER_03: And then I remember being on our kickoff call and just hearing the other women's stories and becoming fiercely protective over a woman that I had known for an hour.
10:58
SPEAKER_03: And then realizing that like that protection that I had for that woman's worth reflected back on me.
11:06
SPEAKER_03: And like that hit me in the gut and just from the very first time that we met.
11:11
SPEAKER_03: And then like a month in, I'm like, I can't imagine not going to retreat.
11:15
SPEAKER_03: Like, if all of these women met and I wasn't there, I would feel so like I would have so much FOMO.
11:20
SPEAKER_03: So I went into it kicking and screaming, but now I'm I'm the biggest proponent of it.
11:25
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
11:27
SPEAKER_05: Oh, that's beautiful.
11:28
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so ladies, so what were you able to do here that you had not been able to do on your own?
11:35
SPEAKER_05: Christiana.
11:36
SPEAKER_07: I will say that what I what I am still learning to do.
11:40
SPEAKER_07: I'm not gonna say that I've been totally able to do it, is um bypass the intellectual, the ego, the rational, the make it make sense because then I'll feel better, and really sort of accepting those are two completely different tracks.
11:57
SPEAKER_07: You know, I can understand it in one way, and I can know it in a different way.
12:03
SPEAKER_07: And when those don't match up, that's where the healing work has to happen, right?
12:08
SPEAKER_07: And it's because I I wanted it to be tell me what to do, I will do it, and then I will be better, right?
12:18
SPEAKER_07: And then I will be happy, or then I will be, I will have let go of the of the pain, or I will have let go of the anger or the confusion.
12:26
SPEAKER_07: And I mean, I joke about it with y'all, and the number of times, especially coaches have said, we're not gonna tell you what to do.
12:32
SPEAKER_07: And I was like, ugh, but I I don't want to go through it, even though I know I need to.
12:38
SPEAKER_07: So the ability to tolerate, like that growth, I guess that's what it is, the growth of that capacity, that tolerance, because there's the group thread, you can always put something in.
12:48
SPEAKER_07: I can always reach out to individual women or to the group and sort of say help.
12:53
SPEAKER_07: And it's always received with, we got you, even if nobody has answers, right?
12:59
SPEAKER_07: And I don't, you know, none of us are trying to like solve each other's um problems, but the learning that I don't have to rely on myself, that it's not about what I can outthink.
13:12
SPEAKER_07: Um, and that's it's been amazing.
13:16
SPEAKER_07: Um, it's also been really scary because it's a I mean, I'm I'm 55, so it's been, I don't know, let's say 54 years of feeling like I operate one way and not a change.
13:28
SPEAKER_05: Joe, what what would your answer be?
13:31
SPEAKER_04: I don't think any of us can heal on our own.
13:34
SPEAKER_04: I I don't I don't care how many podcasts, self-improvement, this or that you listen to, like you need a group.
13:43
SPEAKER_04: You need we were created to be in relationship.
13:47
SPEAKER_04: So the group has become a container that I've never had in my whole life.
13:55
SPEAKER_04: And I'm getting I'm getting flutterings in my heart right now.
14:04
SPEAKER_04: And it's and it's just become a safe container, and and you can't get that in one-on-one therapy.
14:10
SPEAKER_04: You can't get that by just listening to podcasts, like those are all good adjuncts, but we need we need a a family, we need a cohort, and and even beyond that, because you know, I have friends, it's it's the fellowship and strength of women, too.
14:31
SPEAKER_04: Um my god, yeah.
14:35
SPEAKER_04: I I just and I never had that to know that I can be myself with this group and you all see me and know me, and you know it's it's somewhat indescribable.
14:50
SPEAKER_05: I Kelly, what were you able to do here that you hadn't been able to do on your own?
15:47
SPEAKER_03: I would say imagine trying to navigate life as an only child, and then try imagine navigating life with like nine soul sisters, and that's the difference.
15:56
SPEAKER_03: Is that we we got to go through this together, and we've literally been on the chat this morning since 6 a.m.
16:03
SPEAKER_03: talking about forgiveness.
16:04
SPEAKER_03: I can't tell you how many times I've gotten on that chat, and I'm like, I have a really bad idea.
16:09
SPEAKER_03: Somebody stop me before I post this.
16:12
SPEAKER_03: And so it's just like been able being able to have like this real-time sisterhood that supports you 24 freaking seven.
16:21
SPEAKER_03: I could that you can't, it's impossible to do that on your own just by virtue.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: All right.
16:27
SPEAKER_02: So I want to ask you, ladies, you know, we are, I hate to say it, we are like 11-ish months into the program right now, right?
16:35
SPEAKER_02: So I want to know what is different now in regards to your boundaries, your anxiety, like what are some of those biggest things that you've noticed since joining the program?
16:45
SPEAKER_02: I know a couple of you have tried dating in program as well.
16:50
SPEAKER_02: So just kind of like walk me through, Joe.
16:52
SPEAKER_02: I'll start with you.
16:53
SPEAKER_02: What do you feel like is the biggest difference for you now versus before?
16:58
SPEAKER_04: Um, well, I'm I'm calmer, I'm more at peace with myself.
17:06
SPEAKER_04: I also noticed it's it's not just about letting go of stuff with my ex-husband has it's I've seen other relationships in my family that I've let go of that I'm just saying my boundary is no more.
17:23
SPEAKER_04: Like you're you are now getting pushed to an outer ring of Saturn because it's what's healthy for me.
17:29
SPEAKER_04: And um actually has helped a lot.
17:35
SPEAKER_04: I'm I'm the oldest bitch and I'm dating, okay?
17:38
SPEAKER_04: I'm the oldest bitch, and I love it.
17:41
SPEAKER_04: I'm here for it.
17:42
SPEAKER_04: It's so great.
17:44
SPEAKER_04: And Tiffany's been helping me with like questions to ask, and even those things were like a year ago, I would have folded myself up and made myself smaller to be loved, to be chosen.
17:57
SPEAKER_04: I'm like, no, like I'm you know, I'm not.
18:01
SPEAKER_04: Like I'm asking those hard questions and axing out the ones who who don't match.
18:09
SPEAKER_04: I don't have 40 years to fuck it up again, girl.
18:13
SPEAKER_04: I got maybe 20 years left.
18:15
SPEAKER_02: Gotta do it right this time.
18:17
SPEAKER_02: And I remember too, Joe, when we were on retreat, you had your little aura ring, and that was like you had sent us like your physical reactions, right?
18:25
SPEAKER_02: Like how you felt in retreat and like your readings on your stress level.
18:29
SPEAKER_02: That was insane.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: Tell us about that.
18:32
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
18:32
SPEAKER_04: Now, so I got this aura ring, and it talks about stress level.
18:37
SPEAKER_04: You're you're either stressed, relaxed, engaged, or restored.
18:43
SPEAKER_04: And on retreat, like the whole the day we were doing the fucking shadow work, I was restored, doing my own work and watching you all do your work.
18:55
SPEAKER_04: Now, I've never been restored in my whole life, and I'm no, I haven't worn an aura ring for 60 years, but just those moments of being restored.
19:06
SPEAKER_04: And I'm actually because I can look it up on my the ring app.
19:11
SPEAKER_04: Like, so now I ask a hard question to a guy I'm dating, and I'm like, oh, look, I was like relaxed or restored, you know?
19:18
SPEAKER_04: It's it's like putting the physical parts of your body together with what you know in your heart and your mind and your soul.
19:26
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, there's your empirical evidence.
19:28
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: Love that.
19:29
SPEAKER_02: Christiana, what about you?
19:34
SPEAKER_07: I will say I'm I am also calmer.
19:38
SPEAKER_07: I am out of survival mode, um, which I mean, for listeners, my ex didn't leave my presence until midway through this program, um, when he finally moved.
19:52
SPEAKER_07: So it's really been in the last half of this program where I've been on my own and could focus just on me in my own place and all that.
19:58
SPEAKER_07: But really feeling like I feel as you know, we call it tipping up when I'm into like I'm ready for the next l layer of work and I want to do it.
20:09
SPEAKER_07: And I'm um I feel like I'm coming back online um in my professional work and in other areas of my life uh because of the of the tools that I've gained in this program that I go back to, or even the people, mostly the the other women, being able to say um to check in or to just to sort of express or process anything.
20:35
SPEAKER_07: But uh most importantly, I think for me, where I am now is and I said this on the thread, when I witness somebody else kind of hit a no new level, it helps me see where I'm at now and it gives me hope of where I can go.
20:54
SPEAKER_07: And it's not gonna be identical, but it's like the like so where I am now is someone who actually believes there is so much more ahead of me rather than um I just need to get to a plateau, right?
21:10
SPEAKER_07: I feel like I'm on an upward trajectory, and I definitely didn't feel that last year.
21:15
SPEAKER_07: I was definitely um on the like downward trajectory, you know, just in in the panic and despair and confusion and spitting.
21:25
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
21:25
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
21:26
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, absolutely.
21:28
SPEAKER_02: And I think it's crazy how as women, and I realized this the other day, and I don't know if I was telling y'all this or whatever, but like I'm watching cable girls on Netflix and it's set in the 1920s, and how women have been set up for decades, maybe since our creation, to be so competitive with each other, especially over men, right?
21:47
SPEAKER_02: Like that's just a thing.
21:48
SPEAKER_02: And so to be able to come into this cohort and listen to you say, like, hey, when I see other women that are leveling up, it doesn't make me jealous.
21:56
SPEAKER_02: It literally gives me hope, right?
21:57
SPEAKER_02: And like, so to be in this space where we can kind of inspire people, yeah.
22:01
SPEAKER_02: I feel like women could rule the fucking world.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: Um they know that, right?
22:08
SPEAKER_02: That's what they're scared of.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
22:10
SPEAKER_02: All right, Kelly, how about you?
22:11
SPEAKER_02: How is it different for you?
22:13
SPEAKER_03: I think the biggest change for me is recognizing or learning enough about myself to recognize patterns in real time and try to stop them in real time.
22:24
SPEAKER_03: So I know why I've made decisions in my past and I can feel the temptation to make similar decisions now, but now I can hit pause and try to like regulate myself and educate myself and say, this is why we're doing this, and this is why we're not doing it going forward.
22:39
SPEAKER_03: Um, but also having just like tools in my toolkit when those moments arise, when I feel it's regulated, knowing what can help me re regulate.
22:50
SPEAKER_06: Mm-hmm.
22:51
SPEAKER_05: Yeah.
22:52
SPEAKER_05: Oh my gosh.
22:52
SPEAKER_05: I'm so obsessed.
22:53
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so if you're before this this one's gonna this one's gonna get me in the heart, ladies.
22:58
SPEAKER_05: Um, okay, if your before self could see you today, what do you think she would notice first?
23:04
SPEAKER_05: Christiana, what do you think that your before self would notice about the current Christiana who's sitting here with us today?
23:15
SPEAKER_07: So the uh the phrase that came to mind was there she is.
23:21
SPEAKER_07: And I'm every time I talk to y'all, I cry.
23:24
SPEAKER_07: And I am not a crier in my normal in my normal life, right?
23:28
SPEAKER_07: I am I am not like I like um and but it's the it's like the one of the things really having uh worked on this year is um who I am, but not in the uh in the way people think of it.
23:49
SPEAKER_07: Like I think when if I had asked that question or that question was asked at the beginning, it gets answered incompletely, right?
23:58
SPEAKER_07: And that who I am because of who I didn't who I wasn't able to become in my marriage, and not necessarily because of terrible things, just because of the person I was with.
24:11
SPEAKER_07: And that I naturally, I mean, I got married at um, I was almost 25, I was 24, and we were married for almost 30 years.
24:17
SPEAKER_07: So I grew up in that relationship.
24:20
SPEAKER_07: Of course, who I became was in direct relation to the person he is.
24:26
SPEAKER_07: Um and so to to figure out who I really am, which I never asked myself those questions before.
24:32
SPEAKER_07: Um, I didn't feel I needed to.
24:34
SPEAKER_07: I didn't feel like I abandoned myself in the marriage, but I didn't actually ever look and say, who am I, who do I want to be, what is for me?
24:43
SPEAKER_07: Um, and now finding that, which has helped me sort of see, um, and I've said before, it it wasn't the end of the marriage that hit me the hardest.
24:53
SPEAKER_07: It was a lot of the other stuff that had happened.
24:55
SPEAKER_07: Um, and so to look now and say, there she is, and it's like I'm meeting someone new, but also someone that I know.
25:06
SPEAKER_07: That makes sense.
25:07
SPEAKER_07: That was beautiful.
25:09
SPEAKER_05: All right, all right, Kelly.
25:11
SPEAKER_03: You're gonna make me go out for that.
25:16
SPEAKER_03: And I didn't cry that much.
25:17
SPEAKER_03: Okay, did know what Christiana said, but also I think um my before self would just see an extreme amount of peace that she didn't know was possible.
25:28
SPEAKER_03: And I think that I was before the program going down a road where I could have just let bitterness and resentment roll my life, and I didn't know that this kind of peace and forgiveness was possible.
25:40
SPEAKER_03: So I think that that's just a I think that that is what the before self would notice at first is that oh, it's we're 11 months down the road and she's already peaceful.
25:53
SPEAKER_06: That's different.
25:55
SPEAKER_06: Yeah, yeah.
25:59
SPEAKER_05: Alright, Joe.
26:01
SPEAKER_05: Your before self could see you.
26:04
SPEAKER_05: Would she believe the woman sitting here now?
26:09
SPEAKER_04: Um where she always knew.
26:14
SPEAKER_04: Some she I've always known myself, but the answer I was thinking that what popped into my head right away is my before self never could have never could have believed that life could be so abundant possibilities.
26:41
SPEAKER_06: Love you, Joe.
26:43
SPEAKER_06: That is so beautiful.
26:45
SPEAKER_02: I am so proud, like, of your journey, like all of you.
26:50
SPEAKER_02: But Joe, I remember like the first few times, like we couldn't even get through five minutes of the session.
26:55
SPEAKER_02: Like you would see my face and start crying every time in the beginning, right?
26:59
SPEAKER_02: So to get you through sessions now where you're not even crying, you're just sharing and you're vibrant.
27:04
SPEAKER_02: My God, what a journey for you.
27:06
SPEAKER_02: That's beautiful.
27:07
SPEAKER_02: Abundant was a perfect word.
27:10
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's beautiful, beautiful.
27:13
SPEAKER_02: All right, so here's my question.
27:15
SPEAKER_02: I want to know, I'm super curious because we all kind of hit these little milestones in the program, but I'm curious, what was the moment when you guys realized, holy shit, like I'm actually changing?
27:29
SPEAKER_02: Like this is actually happening for me.
27:32
SPEAKER_02: Gonna start with Christiana.
27:34
SPEAKER_07: Um I will say I think it was the retreat, and but I I want to say that so people think you have to wait 10 months.
27:42
SPEAKER_07: Um I think I think it was for me being like being able to test things in real time, you know, the that power of connection of being in a group, but actually being physically present and sharing that space and that energy.
27:57
SPEAKER_07: That it was I actually can do I can explore these parts of me and I'm gonna be okay doing it, right?
28:08
SPEAKER_07: Because we do a little bit group online, but then I just was would shift right back into the okay, dissociate again, put that away, um, go on about my life, don't have to think about that.
28:21
SPEAKER_07: Um, and I think I said to you, Tiffany, it wasn't until like late spring where I really did the homework you give me.
28:27
SPEAKER_07: Like I would look at it and I would honestly forget I had homework.
28:30
SPEAKER_07: And now, like it's so it was like that's one thing, this is another.
28:35
SPEAKER_07: Um so I it's I I find myself wishing like we could have had monthly retreats.
28:40
SPEAKER_07: Not practical, right?
28:42
SPEAKER_07: Not, I mean, I couldn't have afforded to fly, you know, every month.
28:46
SPEAKER_02: We all just go into a house together for the 12 months.
28:48
SPEAKER_02: Maybe the program will evolve into that someday.
28:50
SPEAKER_07: Exactly, and put all our lives totally on hold.
28:52
SPEAKER_07: Let's do this full time, right?
28:54
SPEAKER_07: So I think for me that was a moment where it really all the things clicked, but there were pieces along the way that I didn't know how to tie together or integrate.
29:03
SPEAKER_07: Um, and so I w I don't want to say no change happened, but I think it really was like it was the retreat for me.
29:11
SPEAKER_07: Um Yeah.
29:13
SPEAKER_02: What's specifically about retreat for you, Christiana, was groundbreaking for you?
29:19
SPEAKER_07: Sitting in the same space as everyone and really feeling the power of that, of that container, right?
29:28
SPEAKER_07: Of that, of that energy, of being able to look across the room and see somebody's whole being.
29:34
SPEAKER_07: But I think it really was in those moments of you know, having a cup of coffee on the balcony or uh chit-chatting in between, you know, th work things we were working on.
29:48
SPEAKER_07: The eating to touch, which might sound a little creepy, but like just like, you know, hold a hand or or give a hug or receive a hug.
29:56
SPEAKER_07: Um it's just like filling, right?
30:01
SPEAKER_07: Soul filling and spirit filling.
30:03
SPEAKER_07: And um, and I I feel like I carry that with me now, right?
30:07
SPEAKER_07: That it's it really um think Don talked about resource, right?
30:13
SPEAKER_07: And like really understanding what being resourced means from a gut place, not uh intellectual place.
30:21
SPEAKER_02: So and I remember too, Christiana, I will never forget it.
30:24
SPEAKER_02: This is a moment I'll carry with me too from retreat, was um, and just I want you to just describe it in a word, I don't know, but it's like I remember you had you were the last one to arrive.
30:35
SPEAKER_02: And so I had met you at the door, and literally as soon as I opened the door, you just fell apart and I just like wrapped you into a big hug and I did not let go until you needed to let go.
30:48
SPEAKER_02: I would have stood there all fucking night with you.
30:50
unknown: Yeah.
30:51
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
30:52
SPEAKER_07: And I like I sat on the whole flight down telling myself, I am not gonna cry when I see them.
31:00
SPEAKER_07: I'm happy to see them.
31:01
SPEAKER_07: I'm not like this.
31:02
SPEAKER_07: Is a good thing.
31:03
SPEAKER_07: Like, I'll cry, they'll be later in the weekend.
31:05
SPEAKER_07: Like I was like determined, and obviously that didn't happen, right?
31:09
SPEAKER_07: It's just that um I can I don't I don't cry.
31:13
SPEAKER_07: If y'all saw me in my day-to-day, I'm not one to just spontaneously burst into tears.
31:18
SPEAKER_07: But it is being allowed, like really feeling I'm in a place that cares for me.
31:26
SPEAKER_04: I'm ping-ponging Christiana.
31:28
SPEAKER_04: Yeah, like having like having someone kiss your forehead during Yoga Nidra while your eyes are closed, and like you can just feel all your mother wounds healing, or having someone come tuck you into bed at night.
31:44
SPEAKER_04: You know.
31:45
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
31:46
SPEAKER_02: Love it.
31:47
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
31:49
SPEAKER_02: Kelly, how about you?
31:50
SPEAKER_02: What was one moment when you realized?
31:54
SPEAKER_03: Um, I'm gonna say a similar timeline as Christiana, but not to make anyone think that it takes 11 months to get there, 10 months to get there, because I feel very fortunate in that I have a sister that I'm very close to that I tell her where I am on my healing journey.
32:10
SPEAKER_03: And there have been countless moments along the the 10 months where we we've talked about things and and realized healing, but the universe presented me with an opportunity like the moment I landed back in Florida to set a boundary that needed to be set.
32:28
SPEAKER_03: And I I feel like it's a boundary I would have set regardless, but it was I felt equipped to do it in real time.
32:36
SPEAKER_03: And that's probably something I wouldn't have done before.
32:39
SPEAKER_03: And it was really fucking hard, but I did it anyway, and I was able to come home and just be free of that.
32:46
SPEAKER_03: And that was that felt like a changed version of me.
32:50
SPEAKER_03: It happened for me immediately after retreat.
32:52
SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
32:53
SPEAKER_02: You just got off the plane and just should just started happening.
32:55
unknown: Yeah.
32:57
SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
32:59
SPEAKER_02: Joe, what about you?
33:00
SPEAKER_02: Moment you realized that you were actually changing.
33:03
SPEAKER_04: Well, I I I don't know that it was a moment, but as we were discussing in our thread, it's it's been a shift, like a definite upward shift for me.
33:11
SPEAKER_04: Um, probably sometime in early June, because I was feeling it before retreat.
33:17
SPEAKER_04: I have to bounce up against my ex-husband a lot.
33:21
SPEAKER_04: We have four children together.
33:23
SPEAKER_04: We have seven grandchildren.
33:25
SPEAKER_04: So I've had a lot of opportunities for the blue balloon to bounce up against me.
33:33
SPEAKER_04: So once again, it's not it's not just learning the stuff, it's I have to actually use the stuff.
33:40
SPEAKER_04: So the more times I have to bounce up against my ex-husband, it's it's getting better.
33:47
SPEAKER_04: I mean, I I think the the the last thing we were at was uh you know, a family wedding, and it was okay.
33:55
SPEAKER_04: I wasn't wishing him to be dead of a heart attack.
34:00
SPEAKER_04: Imagine that.
34:01
SPEAKER_04: That was me for you.
34:08
SPEAKER_04: Okay, you can edit that out.
34:10
SPEAKER_04: Whatever.
34:11
SPEAKER_04: Don't have any best part of the podcast.
34:16
SPEAKER_04: I'm staying in.
34:17
SPEAKER_04: Yes.
34:18
SPEAKER_04: So yeah, and it's just and and like the blue balloons that are bouncing off of me with dating, like Kelly said, I'm noticing my patterns, I'm listening to my body, and I'm going, whoa, like what is that?
34:31
SPEAKER_04: Is that legit?
34:33
SPEAKER_04: Or is you know, and and I'm adjusting accordingly.
34:37
SPEAKER_04: And it's almost like it's once you start actually doing it in relationships, whether it's with your ex-husband or a guy you're dating, it it builds.
34:46
SPEAKER_04: It's like it feeds on itself, and now it's the upward trajectory, like incense rising to heaven.
34:55
SPEAKER_04: Here I am, God, the best of me.
34:58
SPEAKER_06: Mm-hmm.
34:59
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I just I had a thought to to talk about a moment early, early in the program, right, that that things clicked a little bit for me.
35:09
SPEAKER_07: It was Thanksgiving, and I was still sharing the house with my ex, and we hosted Thanksgiving.
35:14
SPEAKER_07: It's small because it's really just my parents and um and uh one of my kids because the other one um is in grad school.
35:23
SPEAKER_07: And the there were some things that happened that were really triggering for me.
35:29
SPEAKER_07: And I remember texting the group and saying I was hiding in the bathroom.
35:34
SPEAKER_07: And Joy, you said hum, right?
35:36
SPEAKER_07: It like hum, you know, regularly.
35:38
SPEAKER_07: And I was like, and so I did, because like I had to I had to get through, you know, the the triggers that were happening felt intentional and and felt like they were just being my ex being a little assholery, and but not wanting to disrupt Thanksgiving, and wanting to be able to have a holiday, because my myself then was thinking we could do this forever, like we could still do holidays because the kids, that was the kids' life, right?
36:08
SPEAKER_07: And just the fact reached out and and got a response on a holiday, right?
36:14
SPEAKER_07: But also with a practical tool that I hadn't learned to just automatically do.
36:20
SPEAKER_07: And I can't tell you how much how much humming I do in my life now.
36:24
SPEAKER_07: It's like, and I am not a musical person, so it's not like I, you know, um, I naturally sing.
36:30
SPEAKER_07: Uh, but it's I was like, wow, okay, this is this is working, right?
36:38
SPEAKER_07: Like this is like I I can get through whatever happens.
36:42
SPEAKER_07: Um because when in doubt, I have that lifeline, which is what I was looking for.
36:47
SPEAKER_07: I have that um that place to say help.
36:51
SPEAKER_07: And and the having that be reinforced has been part of the change for me that that um I don't have to come up with it all on my own.
37:02
SPEAKER_02: Um I have a question that is totally random, and I just want to ask it because I'm super curious about this.
37:11
SPEAKER_02: I know that a lot of you guys got introduced to us later, so a lot of you hadn't listened to us on the podcast for too long, right?
37:17
SPEAKER_02: But even from meeting us, how did it feel to get to see us?
37:22
SPEAKER_02: Like, was there anything surprising to you about behind the scenes, right?
37:26
SPEAKER_02: Because this was kind of a crazy cohort, right?
37:28
SPEAKER_02: Like Dawn ended up having a miscarriage later last year.
37:31
SPEAKER_02: I ended up losing my dad.
37:33
SPEAKER_02: How do you guys, how was that experience getting to kind of see everything in real life play out and know that we weren't hiding anything that was going on with us in our own life, right?
37:43
SPEAKER_02: Like we were just like real fucking people saying, hey, like we're also going through the shit.
37:49
SPEAKER_05: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
37:53
SPEAKER_07: I think for me, it's y'all felt like one of us, right?
37:57
SPEAKER_07: And um, I mean, I know one of my hesitations, not hesitations at the beginning, um uh and I've talked about it in my healing, is the trust being linked to prove to me you're an expert, right?
38:11
SPEAKER_07: It's like the prove to me you know your stuff.
38:13
SPEAKER_07: Otherwise, why would I trust you with my stuff?
38:16
SPEAKER_07: And how quickly I was able to let go of that.
38:19
SPEAKER_07: But and part of that was um seeing you all go through stuff and sharing that and not presenting as we have to be, we have to keep this boundary because you joined our group and we are the leaders, right?
38:35
SPEAKER_07: Like there's I think what's been really um amazing is that both of that sides where you are the leaders, but you also are the participants.
38:47
SPEAKER_07: And that um I don't know if y'all plan that or you strategize about that behind the scenes, but for me, it's really helped it resonate, right?
38:56
SPEAKER_07: That it's it's harder for me to reject advice when um it's not just the study show, and I'm like, well, here's another study that shows the opposite.
39:06
SPEAKER_07: When you're like, this is what I'm going with, this is what I'm doing, and look, it doesn't always work for me either, right?
39:12
SPEAKER_07: It's like okay.
39:14
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
39:17
SPEAKER_02: Joe or Kelly, how about you guys?
39:18
SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
39:19
SPEAKER_04: Um I I experience the three of you as friendly mentors.
39:24
SPEAKER_04: Like you you have to be in the mentor role for it to work, but yet your friends also it it's kind of like your your iron sharpens iron, you know?
39:36
SPEAKER_04: You hold us accountable, but yet you're friends.
39:40
SPEAKER_04: So you're both friendly mentors.
39:44
SPEAKER_02: That lovingly call you out on your bullshit, right?
39:47
SPEAKER_02: Like that's what it is, right?
39:48
SPEAKER_02: It's like a friend that's like it's the friend that you don't want to go to because you know they're gonna tell you what you need to hear, but also you need to fucking care, too.
39:55
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
39:57
SPEAKER_07: But we paid to join the program, so we're gonna go to it.
40:03
SPEAKER_02: Kelly, what about you?
40:04
SPEAKER_02: Anything that like surprised you either, I'd ask you about any of the three of us.
40:08
SPEAKER_02: Just I know I had said at one point that I was the biggest crier and you guys were shocked to know that.
40:12
SPEAKER_02: And then at retreat, you did see that I am the biggest crier.
40:15
SPEAKER_02: Um that does happen.
40:17
SPEAKER_02: I was shocked.
40:17
SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I pegged Joy as the biggest crier, and I was completely wrong.
40:21
SPEAKER_03: I I pegged Tiffany as a badass and Joy is the crier.
40:25
SPEAKER_03: And not that you guys aren't part of the part of that, but it was just I was wrong.
40:29
SPEAKER_03: And I thought I would be one of the people that just broke down in hysterics once I saw you guys, but I was I had the opposite of what I expected.
40:36
SPEAKER_03: I just was ecstatically screaming and jumping.
40:39
SPEAKER_03: But I think what surprised me about the relationship with the three of you is that yes, you guys run a company, and yes, you guys deserve to be compensated because the the product that you provide is phenomenal, but nothing about this relationship has felt transactional to me.
40:57
SPEAKER_03: Nothing is this has felt like authentic and genuine.
41:01
SPEAKER_03: And when I joined the cohort, I was told I was gonna have 24-7 access.
41:06
SPEAKER_03: Now it's like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:07
SPEAKER_03: But I did, I really did.
41:09
SPEAKER_03: And I have been able to reach out to you guys, the other women in the cohort on the thread, but also individually.
41:16
SPEAKER_03: And somebody's always been there to show up for me, and I didn't know that was professionally possible, and I didn't really expect you guys to put your money where your mouth was, but you did.
41:26
SPEAKER_05: Okay, so we've talked about the last year, but what is something that's gonna carry you out?
41:34
SPEAKER_05: Graduation is around the corner.
41:36
SPEAKER_05: It breaks my heart.
41:38
SPEAKER_05: But like what's something that's going to that you're gonna carry with you forever?
41:42
SPEAKER_05: Joe, let's start with you.
41:43
SPEAKER_05: What is something that will carry you with you forever?
41:48
SPEAKER_04: Well, I I think I think we're always gonna have a group thread going.
41:54
SPEAKER_04: I I envision, you know, when this bitch is 85 and you guys are like in your 40s and 50s.
42:05
SPEAKER_04: Um yeah.
42:07
SPEAKER_04: And uh oh my gosh, I'm getting I'm getting flutterings again in my heart.
42:15
SPEAKER_04: Um yeah, it won't, it won't it's not gonna stop.
42:19
SPEAKER_04: It's not something that stops after a year.
42:23
SPEAKER_04: It continues to go because that's a what true relationship is.
42:27
SPEAKER_04: It just keeps going, it perseveres.
42:32
SPEAKER_03: I want to go next.
42:33
SPEAKER_03: Go ahead, Kelly, Kelly.
42:36
SPEAKER_03: Um, I'm just gonna I I want to piggyback off what Joe said, and I have a feeling Christiana's gonna do the same, so I wanted to go second.
42:43
SPEAKER_03: But I think we're all just we're all gonna carry this sisterhood together forward.
42:48
SPEAKER_03: And um, I also wanted to go second because I know Christiana and I have been pre-sad since month month three.
42:54
SPEAKER_03: Like I'm pre-sad that we're in month 11, but I'm not letting myself dwell in the pre-sadness of it all because you can't, the relationships will always stand, the group thread thread will always be alive, and that's what I'm gonna carry forward.
43:08
SPEAKER_03: And I have no doubt that I'll be back in that thread in a month saying, walk me down from the sledge, y'all.
43:13
SPEAKER_03: I need you just to tell me what to do here.
43:16
SPEAKER_04: So wait a minute.
43:17
SPEAKER_04: What I think we should do is I'm gonna find a a house in Myrtle Beach for us to Airbnb for we can do like, you know, we could come hang out while the newbies are down there doing their shadow work and then we'll come down and pat them on.
43:31
SPEAKER_04: We can put them in for tree clashes.
43:37
SPEAKER_02: That would be amazing.
43:38
SPEAKER_02: It'd be like an annual Airbnb Myrtle thing for you guys.
43:41
SPEAKER_02: That would be amazing.
43:42
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
43:43
SPEAKER_03: We're doing it.
43:44
unknown: Yeah.
43:46
SPEAKER_02: Do you have a different answer?
43:48
SPEAKER_07: Well, I I'm in denial and I I don't I don't know why you think we're graduating, because I have not finished all my credits, right?
43:55
SPEAKER_07: I I so I'm not eligible to graduate.
43:58
SPEAKER_07: I'm not healed, I'm not done.
44:00
SPEAKER_07: So you can't you can't graduate me.
44:02
SPEAKER_07: That would be unethical, right?
44:04
SPEAKER_07: Um and so, but it's yeah, they like it's been actually that shift.
44:10
SPEAKER_07: Like we have built these relationships, so of course they're not gonna just end.
44:14
SPEAKER_07: It's not you know, the the course is over and we all walk away.
44:19
SPEAKER_07: I am pretty sad.
44:20
SPEAKER_07: I also am uh I mean I'm scared.
44:24
SPEAKER_07: Like, and like I I trust this group, so I know I'll be okay, but I feel like I've finally just hit my stride.
44:34
SPEAKER_07: And and why isn't there a 2.0, right?
44:38
SPEAKER_07: Why isn't there a next round?
44:40
SPEAKER_07: And and I and I like my logic brain knows why, but I think I joked to all of you.
44:45
SPEAKER_07: I said, you could not do a new cohort, you could just do advanced level healing with this cohort, right?
44:51
SPEAKER_07: But then again I say like like I d I sp I think I commented this on one of Don's uh Instagram reels.
45:00
SPEAKER_07: I was like, yeah, I think all women should get divorced, so you have the opportunity to do this program.
45:04
SPEAKER_07: Like I I want women to I want other people who need this healing to have it.
45:10
SPEAKER_07: Um so my next idea is we just clone you all and you know and we can keep this going because uh it will stay with me forever.
45:20
SPEAKER_07: Um, and it's gonna look different.
45:22
SPEAKER_07: And and I keep telling myself, right, my whole world looks different than it did a year ago.
45:28
SPEAKER_07: And so different a year from now is just gonna be better because it's already better than it was a year ago, and we'll figure it out.
45:36
SPEAKER_07: We we have to we're the baby birds, I think someone said.
45:39
SPEAKER_07: You're we gotta leave the nest, but that doesn't mean we don't return to nest there.
45:45
SPEAKER_07: I think those eagles come back to the same place.
45:47
SPEAKER_07: Maybe other birds do, I don't know.
45:48
SPEAKER_07: Um come back to the same place all the time to nest um when it's their turn.
45:54
SPEAKER_02: So yeah.
45:56
SPEAKER_02: We're like a little pod of female elephants that just like stay together our entire lives.
46:01
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
46:01
SPEAKER_02: There you go.
46:03
SPEAKER_07: Yeah, I did say for Kelly and Joe, I did say to the coaches, I said, Would you all believe I have an identical twin sister who has an identical diverse story and married the name of the exact same name that might do in your program?
46:16
SPEAKER_07: See if I can pass this up.
46:17
SPEAKER_07: It's like, I'll just join again under a slightly different name.
46:20
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
46:21
SPEAKER_02: I love that.
46:22
SPEAKER_07: Yeah.
46:23
SPEAKER_02: So we want to do a lightning round really quick with you guys.
46:26
SPEAKER_02: These are just like top of the mill answers for you.
46:29
SPEAKER_02: So I'm just gonna throw something out and you guys just tell me.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: All right.
46:34
SPEAKER_02: So first thing, one word to describe DDW.
46:38
SPEAKER_02: Kelly, go.
46:41
SPEAKER_06: Authentic.
46:43
SPEAKER_06: Okay.
46:43
SPEAKER_06: Christiana?
46:45
SPEAKER_06: Love.
46:46
SPEAKER_06: Oh, shoot.
46:47
SPEAKER_02: Damn it.
46:48
SPEAKER_02: Y'all you took Joe's.
46:50
SPEAKER_02: So you can say the same thing.
46:51
SPEAKER_02: Sisterhood.
46:52
SPEAKER_02: Go ahead.
46:52
SPEAKER_02: That's sisterhood.
46:54
SPEAKER_02: Okay, so authentic sisterhood and love.
46:57
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
46:57
SPEAKER_05: Awesome.
46:59
SPEAKER_05: Um, what's your favorite retreat memory?
47:01
SPEAKER_05: Go.
47:02
SPEAKER_05: Ooh.
47:03
SPEAKER_02: Witchy shit.
47:05
SPEAKER_05: Witchy shit.
47:06
SPEAKER_02: Witchy shit on the beach, yeah.
47:09
SPEAKER_02: Banana karaoke.
47:12
SPEAKER_07: With sleep.
47:15
SPEAKER_07: Um I'm gonna say the yoga nidra.
47:18
SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, that was good.
47:19
SPEAKER_07: I never done that before.
47:21
SPEAKER_07: So good.
47:21
SPEAKER_07: I love that.
47:22
SPEAKER_07: So good.
47:23
SPEAKER_02: What is something you never thought you would do that you do now?
47:29
SPEAKER_03: I talk to my inner child, oh yeah.
47:33
SPEAKER_06: So good.
47:35
SPEAKER_04: I I just say no more.
47:38
SPEAKER_04: No more.
47:43
SPEAKER_07: I don't know how to say this succinctly, but that I let myself sit in in my feelings, ride the wave rather than outthink it.
47:55
SPEAKER_06: Um, so we're gonna pivot.
48:03
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna ask you guys one more question.
48:05
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
48:06
SPEAKER_02: So I want you to imagine that there's a woman listening right now who's thinking about joining, right?
48:11
SPEAKER_02: She's scared, she's talking herself out of it.
48:14
SPEAKER_02: It's too expensive.
48:15
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to hang out with other women, I'm scared to step into this.
48:18
SPEAKER_02: What would you want her to know, Kelly?
48:22
SPEAKER_03: I think I would want her to know that the next 12 months are gonna go by regardless of what she does for her own healing.
48:29
SPEAKER_03: And that the worst thing that could happen is that one year from now she looks back and she's the same person.
48:36
SPEAKER_03: Wow, yeah.
48:38
SPEAKER_04: I would say to that woman, there's there's a version of you living inside you, waiting to meet you, but full of love and hope and possibilities.
48:50
unknown: Okay.
48:51
SPEAKER_04: And you owe it to yourself to do this journey and go meet that woman.
48:56
SPEAKER_07: I would say that you're scared now because who are why would you join this program?
49:04
SPEAKER_07: Who are these women?
49:06
SPEAKER_07: I don't want to show up for them.
49:07
SPEAKER_07: But those feelings are not about this program.
49:11
SPEAKER_07: Uh the feeling scared, feeling lost, feeling confused, feeling hurt, whatever you're feeling.
49:17
SPEAKER_07: Uh it's about the other stuff, and it's in this group that you can understand it, you can accept it, you can share it, and you can heal it.
49:30
SPEAKER_07: And it's not like day one, you come in and uncover it all right away.
49:36
SPEAKER_07: It's done with such care and attention that it always feels doable, even if it still feels scary at times.
49:44
SPEAKER_07: Um, that the resistance is because this is this is something that's gonna work.
49:51
SPEAKER_07: And it feels after all now I'm gonna put myself in here, after all the the stuff about the ending of the marriage felt hard enough.
50:01
SPEAKER_07: I didn't want to go through another round of feeling hard stuff, but Kelly said it perfectly.
50:05
SPEAKER_07: It was gonna happen anyway, and to have it happen with people who got it is such a gift.
50:13
SPEAKER_02: I want to thank you guys so much for joining us today.
50:16
SPEAKER_02: This has been absolutely fucking amazing to hang out with you guys in this way.
50:20
SPEAKER_02: I want to thank you guys for being vulnerable, sharing parts of your journey, right?
50:24
SPEAKER_02: Like you're fucking stuck with us for life, just FYI.
50:26
SPEAKER_02: Like that's not escaping us.
50:32
SPEAKER_02: If you're listening to this and you have been curious at all about what it feels like to be part of this program, go ahead and go to the show notes, click out an interest form, and Don will reach out personally to tell you all about it.
50:44
SPEAKER_02: We only do this once a year, and this is your time.
50:47
SPEAKER_02: We love you so much, bitches.
50:49
SPEAKER_02: Peace.