Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: German football team, a reckless driver, and a badly damaged pitch
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: KFM Mornings.
- 0:04Speaker 2: Simpson and you.
- 0:06Speaker 1: It's Marshmallow Miles on it here on kf in morning's
- 0:09Speaker 1: ten minutes after eight o'clock today, opening day of World Cup.
- 0:12Speaker 1: So throwback Thursday. We dive into the archives as we do.
- 0:16Speaker 1: How far back are we going? I'm taking you back
- 0:18Speaker 1: to twenty ten. Oh my goodness, what time and a
- 0:21Speaker 1: prank that I did that revolved around the twenty ten
- 0:24Speaker 1: World Cup. Here on home soil o kid does so
- 0:28Speaker 1: like a little flashback, it's coming back. Stop stop what
- 0:31Speaker 1: you're doing.
- 0:32Speaker 2: Here is another world famous crank.
- 0:35Speaker 3: Car from Darren Wackhead Simpson six exclusive to KFM Mornings.
- 0:41Speaker 1: You know what it's It's quite incredible when you look
- 0:43Speaker 1: at today and you walk it back sixteen years ago.
- 0:49Speaker 1: This set of coincidences that happened because in twenty ten,
- 0:54Speaker 1: eleven eleven June, this very day, sixteen years ago, we
- 1:00Speaker 1: were preparing for the opening ceremony in FNB Stadium in
- 1:06Speaker 1: Joburg and we were just on a buzz and a pluck,
- 1:11Speaker 1: pluck no other as a nation. And also this team
- 1:15Speaker 1: were scattered in different parts of the country, living very
- 1:18Speaker 1: different lives. Yeah, and we were playing against Mexico in
- 1:23Speaker 1: South Africa. Now it's the return match in the Azteca
- 1:27Speaker 1: Stadium in Mexico City, both at extremely high altitudes. That
- 1:32Speaker 1: where they're playing tonight is about two two hundred meters
- 1:37Speaker 1: above sea level and Joburg is like twy one hundred
- 1:40Speaker 1: I think there about. There are so many similarities. It's
- 1:44Speaker 1: crazy about this day.
- 1:46Speaker 3: Sixteen years ago.
- 1:47Speaker 1: So while we were on a high, I was up
- 1:50Speaker 1: to my things. Of course you were, That's consistent, yeah,
- 1:54Speaker 1: and I remember I did so many things, but we
- 1:58Speaker 1: pulled this one out. The ocove happened, right, So this
- 2:01Speaker 1: was building up. So Germany were arriving. Germany were two
- 2:06Speaker 1: days now. This is what happens like behind the scenes
- 2:09Speaker 1: that people don't know about, right. So Germany's plane is
- 2:12Speaker 1: landing two days away and they were staying at the
- 2:17Speaker 1: Vollemore Hotel and Spa in Centurion. So remember every team
- 2:21Speaker 1: had to have a place to stay and a training facility.
- 2:26Speaker 1: So this hotel had gone and created a pitch for
- 2:31Speaker 1: them to train on, a proper grass two speck according
- 2:35Speaker 1: to FIFA regulation pitch. And then what happens is this
- 2:41Speaker 1: guy has a bit of fun a party on a
- 2:45Speaker 1: Friday night. He's got a lack of car, and he decides,
- 2:50Speaker 1: I'm going to go and do doughnuts on this pitch.
- 2:53Speaker 1: Oh no, totally unawares that this is the pitch that
- 2:58Speaker 1: they've just made for Germany.
- 3:01Speaker 4: Sure.
- 3:02Speaker 1: Yeah, so obviously this hotel they come and they arrive
- 3:05Speaker 1: the next day some extent donus. They've ruined this whole
- 3:08Speaker 1: pitch that Germany's taking care of coming to train on
- 3:11Speaker 1: in two two days. So they got his registration and
- 3:16Speaker 1: this is what actually happened. So they got his registration number,
- 3:19Speaker 1: They tracked them down and then they started coming with demands.
- 3:24Speaker 1: They were like, okay, you're gonna have to pay for this,
- 3:26Speaker 1: but it's a bigger situation than just paying for it
- 3:29Speaker 1: because time now. Yeah, so that's was scrooking, Wow, screaking
- 3:36Speaker 1: as you would. So that's where are coming. Yeah, okay,
- 3:42Speaker 1: and let's let's see where it goes.
- 3:44Speaker 3: But just check out nervous he is, go yore, good.
- 3:55Speaker 4: Man, listen, my owner would like to disco the way
- 4:01Speaker 4: forward with you. Can you just hold the safety mister
- 4:06Speaker 4: kaser one.
- 4:09Speaker 1: Tickey, Hello there hill No, not actually, we've got a
- 4:16Speaker 1: big problem here. We have got the LC here.
- 4:20Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, I don't know what that means the.
- 4:22Speaker 1: Local organizing committee for twenty ten. They've come from an inspection.
- 4:27Speaker 1: They are seriously unhappier. In fact, I have them in
- 4:30Speaker 1: the office. I'm told you that this field is going
- 4:34Speaker 1: to cost seventeen thousand to repair. All right, that is
- 4:38Speaker 1: not going to cut it. Okay, this field needs to
- 4:43Speaker 1: be redone from scratch. Do you know what that means?
- 4:49Speaker 2: Well, I'm not lacking the sound of it, but keep
- 4:54Speaker 2: going on.
- 4:55Speaker 1: The team that is going to be using this field
- 4:58Speaker 1: at the risk of them breaking ankles under no circumstance.
- 5:01Speaker 1: Is this going to be a patch job. This field
- 5:03Speaker 1: needs to be relayed from one end to the other.
- 5:07Speaker 1: Do you know how much this field costs us to make?
- 5:09Speaker 2: I've been I've heard a number.
- 5:11Speaker 1: Yes, this field to redo now is going to cost
- 5:13Speaker 1: us one point two million. Do you know who's going
- 5:15Speaker 1: to be paying it?
- 5:17Speaker 2: Well, this is why we're checking.
- 5:18Speaker 3: Our suspect exactly.
- 5:21Speaker 2: Well, I mean, obviously I can't stop.
- 5:24Speaker 4: Also can't commit to anything.
- 5:26Speaker 1: Mister.
- 5:27Speaker 2: I don't want to argue with you now. Obviously you're
- 5:29Speaker 2: upset extremely and I understand. I understand, But mister cars,
- 5:34Speaker 2: that's why I've got to go. I've actually got to
- 5:36Speaker 2: to fly now, and that's I'm not being rude to you.
- 5:39Speaker 1: You know what, let me tell you what you're going
- 5:40Speaker 1: to do this Saturday. Okay, you are coming here to
- 5:43Speaker 1: mow the lawn? Well, okay, then you are going to
- 5:51Speaker 1: weed the grass? Is that a deal? We were adamant
- 5:58Speaker 1: about getting it right for the Germans, and we had
- 6:02Speaker 1: it right, and you came drinking and boozing with the boys.
- 6:06Speaker 1: You decide to go in your Bucky to go and
- 6:08Speaker 1: do donuts on our field, which has caused a monumental
- 6:13Speaker 1: stuff up for.
- 6:14Speaker 2: Us, which I understand.
- 6:16Speaker 1: And because you are right now, you are about as
- 6:19Speaker 1: much used to society as a Beta Max video machine.
- 6:22Speaker 3: Do you know that.
- 6:28Speaker 1: Can you hear what's going on in the background? Yeah,
- 6:29Speaker 1: I have an I right German international team here. Just
- 6:34Speaker 1: hold on there. Yeah, you know what he's saying. He's saying,
- 6:48Speaker 1: listen to this idiot on the other end of the
- 6:50Speaker 1: phone is about as nervous as a cat with a
- 6:52Speaker 1: long tail and a room full of rocking chairs.
- 6:55Speaker 2: I am obviously that's that all admit to, no problem,
- 7:02Speaker 2: and you know we have to But as far as
- 7:05Speaker 2: as far as me saying two years I'll be able
- 7:08Speaker 2: to give you the money in a week's time. I mean, obviously,
- 7:10Speaker 2: that's not.
- 7:11Speaker 1: What I need you to do. I need you to
- 7:13Speaker 1: make an apology.
- 7:14Speaker 2: Well, I apologize obviously.
- 7:16Speaker 1: No, no, not to me in German, to these people. I'll
- 7:20Speaker 1: do that.
- 7:21Speaker 2: I will definitely do that, but I.
- 7:22Speaker 1: Want you to do it right now. I'll put you
- 7:24Speaker 1: on speak of it. Can you can you speak German?
- 7:26Speaker 4: Yeah?
- 7:26Speaker 2: No, I can't speak German.
- 7:28Speaker 1: Repeat after me, then Schweine hunt that she's good. I looked, looked,
- 7:38Speaker 1: Minor Yama, big guy, Mina Yama, we get, we get
- 7:43Speaker 1: wonder bar iron Ice looked. I looked. Can you say
- 7:51Speaker 1: in one sentence?
- 7:52Speaker 2: Now she's good? As looked Mina Yama, You're going to
- 7:56Speaker 2: get Wunda iron Ash look.
- 8:00Speaker 1: Wonderful, and uh, just address the man himself. Gulden talk
- 8:05Speaker 1: vacated Simpson, Simpson, Yes, I.
- 8:14Speaker 2: Will find you if this is wicked.
- 8:15Speaker 1: If it's uh, it is wicked, and it is Jesse
- 8:23Speaker 1: as well, and it is Heines as well.
- 8:35Speaker 4: Doc.
- 8:43Speaker 1: How much did you show your pants there?
- 8:46Speaker 4: I've changed my right.
- 8:47Speaker 2: What are you talking about?
- 8:53Speaker 1: Wow? Go by Funa? What memories? No waving flags? That
- 9:02Speaker 1: song sounded so like a fresh always, that's ours, okay.
- 9:08Speaker 1: A couple of messages from the prank this morning. I
- 9:11Speaker 1: see staring shy man. See I was done so humble.
- 9:19Speaker 3: What's even more concern is that he couldn't given you back,
- 9:25Speaker 3: not even remember.
- 9:31Speaker 1: The amount of self controller guys.
- 9:34Speaker 3: Could not lose his mind on the phone. You could
- 9:38Speaker 3: nearly hear his pants. Pick up that guy there for
- 9:42Speaker 3: remembering that whole that whole sentence. Ah, darn, darn, darn,
- 9:47Speaker 3: darn ah, the prank of yours.
- 9:50Speaker 1: Now, I think you must put conditions now, not listening
- 9:54Speaker 1: while he's driving.
- 9:55Speaker 3: But now I'm almost most control now.
- 10:00Speaker 1: It's amazing when, when when you are in such trouble,
- 10:05Speaker 1: how submissive you become. Yes, sorry, it's the only root
- 10:10Speaker 1: out of there, humility, acceptance. One day the boy keep
- 10:17Speaker 1: doing donuts on a field in your bucky. The next day, yes, sir, No, sir, Sorry, sir,