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Understanding a Narcissist: The Words You ABSOLUTELY Need To Know (Part 4) · The Mental Healness Podcast

• 0:00
  What is going on, beautiful people.
• 0:01
  Welcome to episode 4, the 4th video in this series.
• 0:04
  I call it a narcissistic alphabet, the AB CS of
• 0:07
  narcissism, where we give each letter a word or words that are
• 0:11
  associated with narcissistic abuse or narcissism to help you
• 0:14
  dig deeper, to help you understand a little further
• 0:16
  right. So today we're going to cover T
• 0:19
  through Z. The last ones, y'all and y'all
• 0:21
  know XYZ was kind of y'all. It's kind of rough.
• 0:24
  Let's keep it real. Yeah, Yeah, it was rough coming
• 0:26
  up with some words for those. I had to.
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  Y'all had to reach out there and stretch.
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  I had to stretch a little bit. It was tough.
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  I ain't gonna lie to y'all. I was Googling Outlook at other
• 0:34
  people's stuff. Nothing.
• 0:36
  Some people had the AB, CS and narcissism, y'all and didn't
• 0:39
  even have anything for Q or West or X or why they had a question
• 0:43
  mark. I was just like what the hell?
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  Y'all didn't try. It's cool though, so let's get
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  right into it. So T triangulation, that's
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  literally triangulation. When narcissists pit people
• 0:59
  against each other. The triangle, this shape right
• 1:02
  here, this is what it looks like.
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  The narcissist is at the top and they put the two people on the
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  edge against each other. The people on the edge against
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  each other. Triangulation is when
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  narcissists turn people against each other.
• 1:14
  They use other people to manipulate you.
• 1:17
  They use you to manipulate other people.
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  This happens and it works. Y'all, It works.
• 1:22
  This is how they turn people against each other.
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  This is how to get you to not like somebody that you never met
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  or somebody that's never met you to not like you.
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  They use triangulation. They be lying, y'all?
• 1:33
  They be lying to put it lying for ill, right?
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  They be lying they asses off. This is what triangulation is,
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  y'all. And a lot of people have been
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  triangulated, right? A lot of people have been
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  triangulated and whatnot and this is what goes on right here.
• 1:48
  Y'all the triangulation the next TI have is a big T capital T,
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  the trauma bond. Trauma bonds, if y'all don't
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  know what trauma bond is, is a trauma bond is when a person
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  forms a deep emotional attachment with someone that
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  causes them harm right? Some someone that causes them
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  harm. The ups and downs, somebody that
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  is abused in them, it's kind of like what people used to refer
• 2:13
  to as Stockholm syndrome. You fall in love with the
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  abuser, the person is hurting you and bringing harm to you is
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  damn near like an addiction, right?
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  It also says there are emotional, emotional bonds that
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  arise from a cyclical pattern of abuse.
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  A trauma bond occurs in an abusive relationship wherein the
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  victim forms an emotional bond with a perpetrator, right?
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  This is what happens. The victim for forms an
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  emotional bond, an emotional attachment.
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  It feels like love, it looks like love, but it's love
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  adjacent. It's not love y'all.
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  It's trauma bond. This is what so many people
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  struggle with to break. This is why so many people keep
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  going back to narcissistic toxic relationship.
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  This is why so many people find it so hard to leave in the 1st
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  place, right? This is what goes on right here.
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  So that's what that's what happened right there.
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  That's the T the letter T y'all. When I hear the letter T, this
• 3:04
  all makes me think about like hooked on phonics, like the
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  letter TI took the phonics help my kids on the iPad.
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  Y'all you the letter you y'all, I got 3 words.
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  Unethical, unhappy, unsatisfied because it's damned.
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  We all know the narcissistic people are going to be unethical
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  for the most part, right? They're not going, they're going
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  to go behind, they're going to do a lot of Gray area things in
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  order to get their needs met. They're going to lie, they're
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  going to cheat, they're going to manipulate.
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  I know those are not Gray area, but right?
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  But they're going to lie, they're going to cheat, they're
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  going to manipulate people, they're going to steal
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  kleptomaniac, right? They're going to do a lot of
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  things that are fall under the umbrella of unethical behavior,
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  right? Unhappy.
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  I truly believe that most narcissists struggle with
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  happiness, struggle with true happiness, struggle with
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  contentment. I believe that narcissists have
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  the ability to be happy in short spurts, but for the most part,
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  we walk around as unhappy people.
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  I believe that most narcissists are on the pursuit of happiness.
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  We are unhappy people. We're trying to find things that
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  make us happy. That's why we're trying to
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  change so much about our lives at the same time, right?
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  And then unsatisfied. You can't satisfy narcissist,
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  y'all. I know a lot of people, you, you
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  try, you will try, you will try. I know about you will absolutely
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  try, but you most likely will fail.
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  You can satisfy them for a short period of time, but it's not
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  going to be enough. They're always going to be
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  asking for more. They're always going to be
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  asking for more y'all, so if you can find a letter U that fits in
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  this umbrella y'all if it's under here, give me a letter U
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  comment the letter U in the comment section to help us out
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  or help me out too, because I told you I had a stretch for
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  this one. I ain't gonna lie I was
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  stretched. I'm like UW XYNZI was like y'all
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  hit why? Who did the alphabet?
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  Who did this? Who put?
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  All these horrible letters at the.
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  End Ham V VI have validation, which you can also be referred
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  to as narcissistic supply. Narcissists are always seeking
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  some type of validation, some type of supply, something they
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  always need to be validated by somebody else.
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  We struggle as narcissists, we struggle with internal
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  validation. It's almost impossible.
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  It's very difficult for us to validate ourselves internally,
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  so we have to seek it external. We need a external source and
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  external external source of validation to complete us.
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  You see what I'm saying? This is what a lot of us
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  experience, a lot of us go through right here, another V
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  victim. Narcissists always have to be
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  the victim. We always have to find a way to
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  play the victim. Victimhood, like narcissists are
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  damn near. Most of us are always going to
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  be lifetime victims, perpetual victims.
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  Like we always have to find a way to play the victim, even if
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  it's something that we have done.
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  We're the victim of our own misdeeds.
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  We're the victim. And no matter what we do, we
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  cheat. We're the victim.
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  We beat, we hit you. We're the victim.
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  We lie, we're the victim. Doesn't matter.
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  We still we're the victim. I stole.
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  I got to. Go to jail for still I only
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  stole a dollar I got. To go to jail for 10 years, You
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  know what I'm saying? Victim.
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  Always the victim. Another one I have y'all for.
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  V is vindictive. They seek vengeance.
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  Narcissists always seek vengeance.
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  There are very vindictive people, especially even y'all.
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  Even if what you have done to them is not, it's not bad by
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  society standards, right? You left them.
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  You broke up with them for cheating on you, but you told
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  everybody. You told everybody they're
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  cheating on you. So now they feel like they have
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  to get you back. So now they're threatening to
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  expose you. They're threatening to lie about
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  you. They're starting smear
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  campaigns. They're threatening to expose
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  your intimate photos, their videos, whatever.
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  They're going to try to ruin your life.
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  They're threatening to keep the kids from you.
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  They're going to sue you, whatever.
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  They're very vindictive and they will seek vengeance for a very,
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  very long time, especially if they feel like you've really,
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  really wronged them, right? So vindictive.
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  The last VI have is vulnerable. There is a such there's a a
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  subtype I don't talk about an animal, a subtype of narcissists
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  that are referred to as the vulnerable narcissist.
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  These narcissists will cry. They will see me very like very
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  highly emotional people. Then they're I think vulnerable
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  narcissists can be mistaken for impact sometimes, right?
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  They'll cry to you, they'll manipulate you with their tears.
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  They'll share some type of trauma with you in order to get
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  you to fall for them. This is what happens.
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  Vulnerable narcissists absolutely exist and they will
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  absolutely ruin your damn life if you allow them to because
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  they use they weaponize their own vulnerabilities and their
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  own trauma against you. Vulnerable narcissists
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  absolutely exist. W for W I have the word wrong.
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  Y'all cause narcissists never like to be.
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  You can never tell them that they're wrong.
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  They hate to be wrong. They hate to be proven wrong.
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  They hate when they are actually wrong.
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  They were still alive. They'll they'll take the they'll
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  take a lot to the death right. So they hate to be wrong, but I
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  also have right here. Y'all word salad got one.
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  I got to go and then I tricked you.
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  Word salad is when narcissists just saw it.
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  Star saw just start saying things to confuse you right when
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  they're caught up and they start blabbling babbling.
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  See right there blabbling stuff that doesn't make sense to you
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  to throw you off the trail like if you caught them in bed, if
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  you caught them, you came home from work early and you caught
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  them in bed with your best friend.
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  They be like. Well, you come home from work
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  early. I thought your tire was flat.
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  And then if your tire was flat, how are we going?
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  If you come home from work early, how are we going to make
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  money and blah, blah, blah. And then I got to go to work and
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  then I'm in here naked with no clothes on.
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  I'm exposed. And then I don't know, my Mama
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  did this and my Mama did that and I got, I forgot.
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  I forgot the stove was on at her house.
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  And then the stove was on and then I was cooking food and then
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  I was cooking and then I was hitting.
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  I was clapping cheeks and then. The they would just make stuff
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  of y'all. Word salad is just a bunch of BS
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  thrown together to confuse you and to manipulate you.
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  Damn there gas lights. You're right.
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  Here's the tough for y'all, the letter X.
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  The letter X was extremely tough.
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  So I wrote, I wrote the letter X.
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  You know, I wrote XX's literally, y'all know XS are is
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  typically spelled EX, but I had to stretch.
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  I told you I had to stretch y'all XS.
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  Narcissistic people can absolutely be obsessed with
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  their exes. They can obsessed with their
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  exes in a good way or bad way in a bad way.
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  They're still trying to, they're still obsessed with their ex,
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  trying to be vindictive, be vindictive towards them.
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  They're trying to hurt their they're still trying to hurt
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  their exes. They could be using you to hurt
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  their exes. You could be the new supply.
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  They could be giving you everything that they promised
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  their ex or everything that their exes beg for.
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  They could be giving that to you to make their exes jealous, to
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  hurt their ex. They can ask you to marry you
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  within two months. When they asked their ex was
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  asking them for years, right? They could be obsessed with
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  their exes, but they also can be obsessed with their exes in a
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  kind of in a good way where they want their exes back.
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  So they, they are just you, just a placeholder.
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  So that could happen to you be just a placeholder and they want
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  their exes back. So they won't say anything bad.
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  I mean, they could say something bad about their exes even they
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  if they want a background. But that's the toughest type of
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  stuff right there. Y'all?
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  Somebody in my comment section put xenophobia and I was just
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  like, you know what, That that could be a good one right there,
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  'cause I would just say most xenophobic, racist people are,
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  are absolutely narcissistic. Xenophobic, racist prejudice
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  people are absolutely narcissistic because you think
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  you're better than somebody because your religion, your
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  ethnicity, the color of your skin, you just think you're
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  better than somebody because of that right there is absolutely
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  narcissistic in and of itself. So I do think that most racist
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  folks, most xenophobic folks, most religious persecutors, most
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  cult leaders, most just evil people or narcissists in
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  general. Somebody in my comment section
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  put that when I mentioned this video.
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  So I was like xenophobic. I can drop that on here.
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  Not all narcissists are xenophobic, but there are a lot
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  of them, right YYNZTUV? WXY.
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  NZY Yellow Rock. It's Gray rocking, but a little
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  warmer. This is coined by Tina Swinton
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  over at One Mom's Battle where she says is yellow rocking is
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  Gray rocking with a little bit of added emotional effect,
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  right? You add a little, you're warmer
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  to this person like you're you. It's friendly.
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  It's friendly. It's not friends.
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  It's friendly. You're friendlier to this person
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  because you want to keep the peace and things like that
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  because you want to keep the peace in front of the kids or
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  whatever the case may be. You want to keep the peace
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  because y'all live together. You can't just leave.
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  You have to make a plan. Yellow rocking is different than
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  Gray rocking. It's just a little bit warmer.
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  Gray rocking is you just you plain.
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  Yes, OK, sure. Right.
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  Yellow rocking is Yeah, I can. I can see that you giving them a
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  little bit more not no, you're not red rocking.
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  I think red rock 'cause you give them too much.
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  You might as well just be with them, right.
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  Yellow rocking was you giving them just a little bit more than
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  Gray rocking. And then I I for the other Yi
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  told you I had to stretch. I put yes men.
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  Narcissists love yes men, yes women as well and yes people
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  right. They love people who are just
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  going to agree with them and support what IT support them in
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  whatever they do. They love to surround themselves
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  with yes men. If you don't say yes to them,
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  you get you get kicked out of the narcissistic harem.
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  Then it was a good H right there.
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  Harem. Dang it.
• 12:25
  I should have added the H harem earlier.
• 12:28
  See, I was so many letters. But you get kicked out of the
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  group. You get kicked out of the cult.
• 12:33
  If you don't say yes to me, you're out of here.
• 12:36
  If you don't praise me, you're out of here, right?
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  If you're not, if you're not praising me, you're criticizing
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  me. If you're not with me, you're
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  against me. So they love to be surrounded by
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  yes men. Z y'all, I cannot y'all out.
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  Z was tough. I ain't going to lie to y'all
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  the word 0. Somebody put 0 empathy in the
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  conversation. You know what?
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  0 Empathy would describe a lot of narcissists.
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  What it seems like would be a lot of narcissists.
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  Now empathy. The levels of empathy for
• 13:02
  narcissists are on the spectrum. It varies, but there are a lot
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  of narcissists and psychopaths, sociopaths that do possess
• 13:07
  absolutely 0 empathy. I said possess possess 0
• 13:10
  empathy. They have no empathy.
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  They lack empathy to the extreme fashion.
• 13:15
  They don't care about anybody else but themselves.
• 13:16
  Zero care for other people 0 emotional connection to most
• 13:21
  people zero. You know, so I would say the Z
• 13:25
  was as tough y'all. If y'all thinks that anything
• 13:27
  else is always Z, hit me with Z and we can go for I'll do a Part
• 13:33
  2 of the narcissistic alphabet if y'all made it this far.
• 13:36
  Y'all seriously, I appreciate y'all so Dang all much because I
• 13:40
  know it was very you know, I know it was very somebody.
• 13:45
  Somebody put my comment said I'll say this about Z somebody
• 13:47
  put zesty and I just like yeah, not all narcissist.
• 13:50
  As long as that's the y'all, there's nothing to do with that.
• 13:52
  Was just like bitch but y'all they y'all familiar like TU.
• 13:56
  VWXY. And Z, now you know you're.
• 14:00
  Narcissistic ABC's Next time won't you play with E?
• 14:04
  Hit the subscribe button if you if I missed anything go back and
• 14:08
  watch the other series Y'all share it like and share these
• 14:10
  videos. Hit the subscribe button.
• 14:12
  Mental illness.net for everything and I am out.
• 14:16
  Peace.