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How Online Dating Works · Stuff You Should Know

0:01
Speaker 1: Welcome to you stuff you should know from house Stuff
0:04
Speaker 1: Works dot com. Hey, and welcome to the podcast. I'm
0:12
Speaker 1: Josh Clark with Charles W. Chuck Bryant and there's Jerry
0:15
Speaker 1: over there. So it's stuff you shad know, that's right,
0:20
Speaker 1: the online Dating edition. Yeah. Uh, we are all in
0:26
Speaker 1: committed relationships in this room, and so I doubt if
0:30
Speaker 1: any of us have ever online dated. Probably right, I
0:32
Speaker 1: have not. I have not, Jerry probably haven't. We're all
0:36
Speaker 1: like long term monogamous. But I mean we're also good
0:40
Speaker 1: at research too. It's not like there's I haven't been
0:43
Speaker 1: to the Sun, but we did one on the Sun. Yeah,
0:45
Speaker 1: that one's stunk. Yeah, that's a bad example. I do
0:48
Speaker 1: have to say, though, if I were single, uh here
0:51
Speaker 1: in this modern age, I would way way be into
0:54
Speaker 1: online dating. Well, it's it's normal. Yeah, you know. I
0:58
Speaker 1: was not um ever or skilled at wooing the ladies
1:03
Speaker 1: um like out in bars or whatever, like I would
1:07
Speaker 1: do find set up or like at a dinner party
1:09
Speaker 1: or something. But this would have really benefited me back
1:11
Speaker 1: in the day if it was like a legit thing
1:14
Speaker 1: in the early nineties. Well, and there were some legit sites,
1:17
Speaker 1: but it was more like remember the movie singles, like
1:20
Speaker 1: the video profiles Great Expectations? Was that what it was called? Well,
1:26
Speaker 1: that's the in real in real life, there was something
1:29
Speaker 1: like that called Great Expectations. Yeah, well, should we talk
1:31
Speaker 1: about the history? Did you have a better intro than that? No?
1:34
Speaker 1: I didn't, Okay, No, I just figured we'd go into
1:36
Speaker 1: the history of it because it does have a surprisingly
1:39
Speaker 1: long history. UM dating, I guess using computers, not necessarily online,
1:45
Speaker 1: because there wasn't such a thing as online. UM started
1:50
Speaker 1: in the sixties with a guy named Jeff Tar who
1:53
Speaker 1: was a mathematician at Harvard UM and he was interested
1:57
Speaker 1: in the girls. He was a little bit of girl crazy,
2:00
Speaker 1: he said. He was so desperate to meet girls. And
2:02
Speaker 1: I think with your a mathematician at Harvard, it's probably
2:05
Speaker 1: not like, you know, bustling with hot chicks so prepared
2:10
Speaker 1: to have your socks knocked off. Because the lady who
2:13
Speaker 1: wrote this Slate article did a miscarriage of justice in
2:16
Speaker 1: describing Jeff Tar and his operation. First of all, apparently
2:21
Speaker 1: the computer that they used, the circuit board, spelled out
2:25
Speaker 1: the words sex. Yeah, just for fun? Yes, okay, no,
2:29
Speaker 1: because like that was the point? Well right, and he
2:33
Speaker 1: was desperate to meet them because he was desperate to
2:37
Speaker 1: like give as he could. Apparently this guy had no
2:41
Speaker 1: problems whatsoever. Really, Yeah, you saw mathematician Harvard sixties and
2:46
Speaker 1: you thought, hey, I read a contemporary article and another
2:50
Speaker 1: one that UM written years later about this this thing.
2:53
Speaker 1: It was. It was a thing. It was called Operation
2:55
Speaker 1: Match that he's set up and UM basically, for three dollars,
3:01
Speaker 1: you submitted a questionnaire and Jeff tar fed your questionnaire
3:04
Speaker 1: into a computer and you were guaranteed to get at
3:07
Speaker 1: least five names of people who the computer decided were
3:12
Speaker 1: a match based on your questionnaire answers. And they you know,
3:16
Speaker 1: he was doing it mostly in New England, for the
3:18
Speaker 1: New England colleges. It was probably like back then, it
3:21
Speaker 1: was probably names, addresses and how they like to be
3:23
Speaker 1: touched pretty much, you know. Um. But they they got
3:28
Speaker 1: a kind of a tepid response, and then somebody mentioned
3:31
Speaker 1: it on like an interview on TV, and it took
3:35
Speaker 1: off after that, and then a few months they had
3:36
Speaker 1: a hundred thousand people in this database. And yeah, and
3:42
Speaker 1: they were these were undergrad college students charging three bucks apiece.
3:45
Speaker 1: So in a few months they made like three hundred
3:47
Speaker 1: thousand dollars coming up with the first computer dating service.
3:51
Speaker 1: Whatso like? Ever did he go on to do anything great?
3:55
Speaker 1: Oh he's a mathematician from Harvard, I'm assuming yes, Uh,
3:59
Speaker 1: well in the seventies, these great expectations is what you mentioned,
4:02
Speaker 1: was founded by Jeffrey Ulman, and he's the one that
4:05
Speaker 1: did the video presentations, like they made fun of in
4:09
Speaker 1: the Singles movie, where you would just do your little
4:13
Speaker 1: video profile and people would watch it and say, you know,
4:15
Speaker 1: I like that girl. She's she plays guitar and look
4:18
Speaker 1: she's drinking coffee, she likes dogs. Can you can you
4:21
Speaker 1: imagine anything more clunky than getting like a videotape in
4:24
Speaker 1: the mail of video profiles of people could imagine it?
4:28
Speaker 1: It's not a sustainable system or making one man, especially
4:31
Speaker 1: in the day when you had to you know, it
4:34
Speaker 1: would take me like two weeks to do a video thing.
4:36
Speaker 1: And that's with modern computer editing, right or yeah or
4:39
Speaker 1: yeah editor who like had to put those things together? Yeah.
4:44
Speaker 1: Well in Singles it was Tim Burton. He had a
4:45
Speaker 1: little cameo as the director of her dating video. Have
4:50
Speaker 1: you seen Singles recently? No? Wow, it really made quite
4:55
Speaker 1: impression it's I was about to say it's one of
4:58
Speaker 1: my favorite movies, but it's not on my top one
4:59
Speaker 1: h and movieless. Oh, I might have forgotten that one
5:02
Speaker 1: great movie you're gonna have to do a hundred and
5:04
Speaker 1: one perhaps, so uh. I like this this story about
5:09
Speaker 1: Jeffrey Allman who found in Great Expectations. He was apparently
5:12
Speaker 1: on Montell Williams Show, and Montell Williams he was basically saying, like,
5:20
Speaker 1: doesn't your service just prey on lonely people? And Alman
5:23
Speaker 1: said yes, just like restaurants prey on the hungry, and
5:26
Speaker 1: doctors prey on the sick, and talk show hosts prey
5:28
Speaker 1: on the people who are too bored to read a book.
5:31
Speaker 1: I love that guy, I know, and I remember. I'm
5:34
Speaker 1: old enough to where I remember these early services and
5:37
Speaker 1: it being like an embarrassment, Like, God, what, what a
5:40
Speaker 1: desperate person? So here's the sign up for something like this.
5:43
Speaker 1: I wrote an article that made that point that there's
5:47
Speaker 1: still that stigma surrounding online dating. No, it's a certain
5:50
Speaker 1: percentage of people pulled still feel that way for sure.
5:53
Speaker 1: I think people who are maybe involved in online dating
5:57
Speaker 1: themselves desperate for online dating. And this author was putting
6:01
Speaker 1: this this assertion out there that just the very structure
6:06
Speaker 1: of online dating, the privacy settings, the um, the just
6:12
Speaker 1: general embarrassment surrounding it, just the way it's set up,
6:16
Speaker 1: it's treated like it's an embarrassing thing. And as long
6:20
Speaker 1: as it's treated like it's an embarrassing thing, it's never
6:22
Speaker 1: going to become real dating. It's going to become some
6:26
Speaker 1: hybrid of it where only sad people or the desperate
6:30
Speaker 1: and or people who just want to hook up, or
6:32
Speaker 1: the dregs of humanity that's where they go. It will
6:36
Speaker 1: never be the de facto method of dating as long
6:40
Speaker 1: as it's structured as an embarrassing thing. Do you think
6:43
Speaker 1: it's still structured that way? Well, yeah, I think it is.
6:45
Speaker 1: I think like the privacy settings are in part for
6:49
Speaker 1: you know, protection and to keep creeps at bay, but
6:53
Speaker 1: I think it's also so that like the average person
6:55
Speaker 1: can't see that you're trying online dating. Even still today,
7:01
Speaker 1: I guess I see that. I think there's nothing to
7:03
Speaker 1: be ashamed of too. I agree entirely very efficient way
7:06
Speaker 1: to meet a like minded person. You know, I would
7:09
Speaker 1: be way into it. I think maybe like in five
7:11
Speaker 1: years that will be a moot point because so many
7:14
Speaker 1: other people will be using it. Yeah, because apparently it
7:17
Speaker 1: started to wane in two thou well that was more
7:21
Speaker 1: to do with the economy, I think, Oh yeah, yeah.
7:24
Speaker 1: They did a study from UH like over a ten
7:27
Speaker 1: year period and it definitely waned in the mid two thousand's,
7:30
Speaker 1: But now it's booming again. UM dating services report earnings
7:34
Speaker 1: of two billion dollars and uh they said that they're
7:40
Speaker 1: growing at a rate of three point one percent per
7:42
Speaker 1: year now. But it did when disposable income was in
7:48
Speaker 1: shorter supply. That was definitely one of the first things
7:51
Speaker 1: to go. And yes, and I said, but I saw
7:53
Speaker 1: and now it's it's back. But I think in addition
7:57
Speaker 1: to that economic hitch upward, there was an attendant acceptance
8:03
Speaker 1: social acceptance of it as well that accounted for a
8:07
Speaker 1: growth in it. Between two thousand five and two thousand
8:10
Speaker 1: and thirteen, the number of Americans who said that they
8:13
Speaker 1: know somebody who online dated like doubled from like to
8:18
Speaker 1: thirty percent of Americans, and like of all Americans use
8:23
Speaker 1: or have used online dating services. So it is definitely
8:27
Speaker 1: becoming more and more widespread. But again I do think
8:29
Speaker 1: that there is still just some tinge of whatever it's that.
8:35
Speaker 1: It is like some people might be a little reticent
8:38
Speaker 1: to say that in mixed company. Yeah, which is weird
8:41
Speaker 1: because it's like you if you're people aren't ashamed of
8:46
Speaker 1: dating or not dating. It's just adding that online to
8:50
Speaker 1: it changes everything for some reason. Yeah. And of course
8:53
Speaker 1: with the advent of smartphones and apps and GPS locators,
8:57
Speaker 1: that has helped a lot to to increase news. You know.
9:01
Speaker 1: So thanks to the the technical revolution that was the
9:05
Speaker 1: advent of the Internet. In a little site called match
9:09
Speaker 1: dot com came about, which is interesting because that was
9:12
Speaker 1: the first online dating service and match was the name
9:16
Speaker 1: of that one from the from Harvard in the sixth
9:18
Speaker 1: Notice that I wondered if he got any juice out
9:20
Speaker 1: of that. Probably not. Probably not, um, and the Harvard
9:23
Speaker 1: mathematicians he's doing all right, Um, we assume yes. And
9:29
Speaker 1: then a couple of years later another one that's still
9:31
Speaker 1: around and very prominent, Ja Date, was created, Yeah, for
9:35
Speaker 1: the Jewish community. Yeah. And then um the original version
9:38
Speaker 1: of Facebook was called face match, and it was basically
9:44
Speaker 1: a an online version of this way to check people
9:47
Speaker 1: out basically right exactly now, Chuck, like you said, like
9:50
Speaker 1: there's there's sites all over the place, there's apps, there's
9:55
Speaker 1: it's just becoming more and more prevalent. Yeah, I made
9:57
Speaker 1: a list. If we can go ahead and get to
9:58
Speaker 1: this with my twenty favorite niche because you can go
10:02
Speaker 1: to the gentlemans like e Harmony or match or you know,
10:06
Speaker 1: the big the big daddies, or if you're really specific,
10:10
Speaker 1: you can go to uh A likewise for fellow book lovers.
10:15
Speaker 1: Farmers only. City folks just don't get it exactly. Uh
10:21
Speaker 1: There's one called how about we dot dot dot, which
10:24
Speaker 1: is basically, instead of some huge profile that you have
10:27
Speaker 1: to set up, it's very very short and casual, like
10:31
Speaker 1: how about we go eat at a great restaurant tonight
10:33
Speaker 1: and someone can just respond to meet you. If you're
10:36
Speaker 1: an IVY leaguer, you might go to ivy Date. That's
10:38
Speaker 1: a site Equestrian Singles dot com. I'm sorry, that's an
10:42
Speaker 1: obnoxious dating site. Oh, totally obnoxious equestrian singles. If you're
10:46
Speaker 1: into horses. There's one called cupid Tino dot com for
10:49
Speaker 1: fans of Apple products because they found the Apple people
10:53
Speaker 1: tend to be alike. Veggie Date Um if you're vegetarian,
10:57
Speaker 1: must look pets our Time is just one of many
11:00
Speaker 1: for people over fifty, which is kind of cool to
11:03
Speaker 1: see Geek to geek. There's obviously political ones Republican meet
11:07
Speaker 1: and Democratic Republican people meet and Democratic people meet. I
11:12
Speaker 1: don't know if there's a Tea party people meet or not.
11:15
Speaker 1: I would guess Trek Passions. Yes, they're like the Hike. Nope. Man,
11:23
Speaker 1: My Lovely Parent is for single parents. Uh, Sea Captain Date.
11:27
Speaker 1: I think my favorite one. That's for real. Yeah, it's
11:30
Speaker 1: just for people looking for their first mate. That's awesome. Uh,
11:34
Speaker 1: find your face Mate. That's for people who think that
11:37
Speaker 1: want to find people that look like them. It's a
11:39
Speaker 1: little creepy. Wealthy men dot Com Stash passion if you're
11:44
Speaker 1: in the mustaches, not like drugs on you. Personals for
11:50
Speaker 1: cat lovers, waiting till marriage for the virgins among us. Yeah.
11:55
Speaker 1: I found one that was um that was founded by
11:58
Speaker 1: a woman who had had cervical cancer. Are Oh that's nice?
12:01
Speaker 1: Who um founded a site for people who are incapable
12:04
Speaker 1: of having sex but still want to find love and
12:07
Speaker 1: apparently it's gotten a pretty great response. That's awesome. And
12:09
Speaker 1: the last one was Tall Friends that I thought was
12:12
Speaker 1: kind of interesting. Like they're just tall. You're just into
12:15
Speaker 1: tall people, or I guess you're I've heard of that
12:18
Speaker 1: from a lot of tall people, especially tall women. Oh yeah,
12:22
Speaker 1: who don't like dating short guys and have a hard time,
12:25
Speaker 1: you know, finding dudes that are six three. You go
12:28
Speaker 1: to tall friends friends. I saw another one called the gaggle.
12:31
Speaker 1: Have you heard about that? Yeah? That that one's interesting.
12:34
Speaker 1: It's for um. It's basically so for a woman to
12:39
Speaker 1: date all of the various um prized parts of an
12:45
Speaker 1: individual's personality, but broken out and distributed among a whole
12:49
Speaker 1: group of men. Like I want to date an athlete,
12:51
Speaker 1: so I'll go on a date with this guy. I
12:53
Speaker 1: want to like a brainy guy too, so I'll go
12:55
Speaker 1: on a different date with a brainy guy, right, and
12:58
Speaker 1: so on and so on a tall dude. Yeah, and
13:00
Speaker 1: then the woman, but she's dating all these dudes at once. Yea,
13:03
Speaker 1: hence the gaggle, A gaggle of dudes. Yeah we're powered
13:07
Speaker 1: to you, I guess. And yeah, and then of course
13:09
Speaker 1: the kids, as weird as your imagination can get weirder
13:13
Speaker 1: than farmers only, Oh yeah, our trek passions way weirder
13:17
Speaker 1: or sea captain date even weirder. All right. Yeah, um,
13:22
Speaker 1: so that's some pretty good stuff. Chuck. Thanks, that was
13:25
Speaker 1: some good digging. Well those are, you know, like you said,
13:28
Speaker 1: one of many, many many. Um. But we're gonna be
13:31
Speaker 1: talking about sort of the basic online standard online dating scenario,
13:36
Speaker 1: and we're going to talk about that right after this message.
13:44
Speaker 1: All right, so welcome back to online dating. Um. I
13:48
Speaker 1: guess we should just walk someone through this process. Yeah,
13:52
Speaker 1: step by step. Yeah, so the first thing you're gonna
13:54
Speaker 1: want to do, there's there's different kinds of sites. They're
13:57
Speaker 1: typically broken out into two categories. See aptains tall people.
14:02
Speaker 1: Uh no, I can't. Uh, it's um free sites and
14:06
Speaker 1: pay sites. No, that was serious that last one. No, no, no,
14:10
Speaker 1: I was still laughing at Okay, that's good. So you've
14:12
Speaker 1: got your freesighting at your pay sites and both of them.
14:15
Speaker 1: It depends on the site. But for the most part, uh,
14:18
Speaker 1: if you are thinking of creating a profile, you will
14:21
Speaker 1: be able to go on to just about any dating
14:23
Speaker 1: site and give a very minimal amount of information and
14:28
Speaker 1: start browsing. Yeah, because they want you to check out
14:31
Speaker 1: the site and get the hooks into you, and they
14:33
Speaker 1: don't necessarily say you gotta pay right away, or you
14:36
Speaker 1: gotta give us all this information. Just browse around the
14:38
Speaker 1: shop see if you like anything. Right, So, um, you're
14:41
Speaker 1: gonna give a little information like whether you're a man
14:44
Speaker 1: or a woman, or whether you're seeking a man or
14:46
Speaker 1: a woman. Maybe the year you're born, and then maybe
14:49
Speaker 1: your zip code. Yeah, you're not gonna get full profiles
14:52
Speaker 1: if you're browsing, no, unless you may not get pictures either.
14:56
Speaker 1: It depends. So if it's a free site, you may
14:59
Speaker 1: feel true. If it's a pay site, and we'll talk
15:01
Speaker 1: about the pros and the cons in a minute of each. Um.
15:04
Speaker 1: If it's a pay site, you might be able to
15:06
Speaker 1: see yeah profile without pictures, or you might be able
15:08
Speaker 1: to see you know, both, but you won't. You can't
15:11
Speaker 1: contact anybody unless you pay. Um. But for the most
15:14
Speaker 1: part when you're when you're going online, you can check
15:16
Speaker 1: the people out, um with just a just a tiny
15:21
Speaker 1: bit of information. Yea. Once you join, though, you're gonna
15:24
Speaker 1: have to start building a profile, and it kind of
15:26
Speaker 1: starts out easy and broad and then as you go
15:29
Speaker 1: through the creating the profile, I mean it takes a minute. Yeah,
15:33
Speaker 1: And um, I guess we should point out to that
15:36
Speaker 1: you're gonna have to input some kind of email address. Um,
15:39
Speaker 1: it's up to you if you want to create an
15:41
Speaker 1: email address for free, just for online dating. If you're
15:45
Speaker 1: really like super freaked out about privacy, might not be
15:48
Speaker 1: a bad idea. But most of these um, you're not
15:52
Speaker 1: allowed to be emailed directly at first. It's either anonymous
15:55
Speaker 1: through the site or the site has their own messaging system.
15:59
Speaker 1: So it's pretty safe these days as far as protecting
16:02
Speaker 1: your privacy. You shouldn't get too freaked out, right, It's
16:05
Speaker 1: not like this nineteen seventies where there wasn't even not
16:09
Speaker 1: great expectations. Oh yeah, where it's like this is my
16:13
Speaker 1: address in the background exactly. Uh, you wanna your next step?
16:18
Speaker 1: There is probably writing down some physical attributes about yourself,
16:22
Speaker 1: because as much as people like a good personality in
16:25
Speaker 1: a sense of humor, um, a lot of people are
16:28
Speaker 1: probably looking for something specific or maybe just general physically.
16:33
Speaker 1: So you've got height, weight, hair color, eye color, um,
16:37
Speaker 1: body type, Yeah, whether you have tattoos or pierce things,
16:41
Speaker 1: that kind of thing. Um. And then it gets a
16:44
Speaker 1: little more involved in all of this is you're just
16:47
Speaker 1: clicking bubbles or selecting from dropped down menus um, but
16:52
Speaker 1: it gets a little a little more granular, like what
16:55
Speaker 1: are your interests? And these aren't people snooping. You're doing
16:58
Speaker 1: this for yourself to have a more complete profile. If
17:02
Speaker 1: you're in there going well, what do they want to know?
17:04
Speaker 1: What kind of movies I like? Then you you don't
17:06
Speaker 1: get online dating, you know, Yeah, but maybe you should
17:09
Speaker 1: go to like suspicious Minds or Suspicious Hearts online dating service. There, Mike,
17:15
Speaker 1: you don't give out any personal information because yeah, or
17:19
Speaker 1: the drop down and he says I like this, this,
17:21
Speaker 1: that or none of your business and everyone just picked
17:24
Speaker 1: none of your business. So your interests and activities? You
17:28
Speaker 1: play guitar? Do you play sports? So you into reading? Um,
17:31
Speaker 1: there's your favorite filmmaker? What do you like to do
17:34
Speaker 1: on the weekends? All that kind of stuff will give
17:36
Speaker 1: you a good give someone else a good idea of
17:38
Speaker 1: kind of what you're like. Yeah, um, your income level, Yeah,
17:42
Speaker 1: whether you have pets, how you feel about having pets, um,
17:45
Speaker 1: if you live with your parents. These are all things
17:47
Speaker 1: you can lie about. Well that's the thing, like, yeah,
17:51
Speaker 1: it's it's I read somewhere that one in ten profiles
17:54
Speaker 1: online or made up. Yeah. In fact, Okay, Cupe. It's
18:00
Speaker 1: as the top four things people lie about most are height, income,
18:03
Speaker 1: their photo, and their sexuality, which I thought was weird. Yeah,
18:08
Speaker 1: that's weird. I didn't get that one. You're not doing
18:11
Speaker 1: yourself any favors if you're lying about your sexuality out
18:13
Speaker 1: of the gate. No, and supposedly also chock of people
18:18
Speaker 1: who submitted to a poll about online dating said that
18:21
Speaker 1: they had met somebody, met up with somebody in life.
18:25
Speaker 1: Um who quote seriously misrepresented themselves in their dating profile.
18:30
Speaker 1: Well we must just like, yeah, we should go and
18:32
Speaker 1: talk about that. With your photo, you want to represent
18:34
Speaker 1: yourself well, obviously, but you want to be accurate because again,
18:39
Speaker 1: you're not going to do yourself any favors. You're not
18:40
Speaker 1: gonna get a second date if you show up looking
18:43
Speaker 1: like the hunchback of Notre Dame and you put a
18:45
Speaker 1: picture of Tom Selick up there. Hey, hunchbacks need love
18:48
Speaker 1: to and that's that's why there's hunchback mate dot com. Like, really,
18:55
Speaker 1: we could just sit here all day and come up
18:57
Speaker 1: with like feasible uh naymes for goiterer touch. I think
19:05
Speaker 1: Jerry's grossed out. Did you you know? Goider's right. It's
19:08
Speaker 1: from hyper hypothyroidism, which is the result of an iodine deficiency.
19:13
Speaker 1: That's why there's iodie salt to prevent goiders hunt my grandmother.
19:18
Speaker 1: That apparently also um, the the most preventable form of
19:25
Speaker 1: mental retardation is treated with iodine or it results from
19:30
Speaker 1: an iodine deficiency, which is the main reason why they
19:32
Speaker 1: started adding that to salt, supposedly, And they think there's
19:36
Speaker 1: this thing called the Flynn effect where inexplicably the intelligence
19:43
Speaker 1: as matt by i Q over the twentieth century rose
19:47
Speaker 1: like three points across the board in the West, and
19:50
Speaker 1: they think it's possible that it's from iodiae salt. Oh,
19:53
Speaker 1: we actually talked about that that podcast a couple of
19:56
Speaker 1: weeks ago, did we really? I'm just very fast NATed
20:00
Speaker 1: by that, apparently so fascinated that knocks out all memories
20:03
Speaker 1: of speaking about it. But do you put that in
20:05
Speaker 1: an online dating profile and just watch your your computer
20:09
Speaker 1: light up? What do you think I talk about? For you? Me?
20:12
Speaker 1: Drives are crazy? She's like, tell me about I saw
20:15
Speaker 1: for the eight time. She loves that stuff. Um, all right,
20:19
Speaker 1: so where are we here? Oh, you're gonna list all
20:22
Speaker 1: these things You're gonna fill out your profile and then
20:24
Speaker 1: you're gonna do that again, but under the notion of
20:28
Speaker 1: what you're looking for in someone else, like what your
20:30
Speaker 1: ideal mate do and look like, and then they're trying
20:33
Speaker 1: to match you. Yeah, the computer takes this stuff, choose
20:37
Speaker 1: it up like carrots and apples, and poops out some
20:41
Speaker 1: some matches. True. Is that true? Because I think it's
20:48
Speaker 1: made up frankly, now we'll get to the science of it.
20:51
Speaker 1: So you call it that you mentioned your photo. Did
20:54
Speaker 1: we say, don't put any personal information on there? No,
20:57
Speaker 1: that seems like a no brainer. They won't ask for
21:00
Speaker 1: that stuff. But there are times where you can write
21:02
Speaker 1: things about yourself. So don't feel free to say this
21:05
Speaker 1: is where I live and this is my Social Security number? Right,
21:08
Speaker 1: or this is where I work? Yea, which is one
21:10
Speaker 1: that I I mean I could see overlooking that. Yeah,
21:14
Speaker 1: that seems certainly, you know, like I work at Discovery Channel.
21:17
Speaker 1: It's something like that. Yeah, where oh in d C
21:20
Speaker 1: Oh cool, I'll be right there. Which floor I want
21:24
Speaker 1: to show you how I can hold a knife in
21:26
Speaker 1: my teeth. You're gonna love it. That'd be Pirates Love
21:29
Speaker 1: dot Com. Uh No, that's Sea Captain. That's a sub
21:35
Speaker 1: branch of that one, right, yeah, probably so. Alright, so
21:38
Speaker 1: you mentioned free versus subscription. They both have their pluses
21:41
Speaker 1: and minuses. Free is good because it's free and we
21:44
Speaker 1: like that, Yes, but so do twelve year old boys. Exactly?
21:48
Speaker 1: Who poses other people? Yeah, exactly. That is one of
21:53
Speaker 1: the problems with free websites like this is that you
21:55
Speaker 1: will get impostors. Uh that just jokes, ads, scam scams.
22:00
Speaker 1: There's like a whole Nigerian prince scam that's going on. Um. Actually,
22:04
Speaker 1: apparently there's something you can do. Uh, if you see
22:08
Speaker 1: a photo of somebody that you're interested in, you can
22:11
Speaker 1: put it to the test. Yeah, you can drag and
22:14
Speaker 1: copy it on your desktop and then dragon drop it
22:17
Speaker 1: on Google image search. You know you can search by image.
22:20
Speaker 1: Does it reverse look up? Huh? It looks up that
22:23
Speaker 1: image and it will show you all this stuff and
22:25
Speaker 1: it may say this is a scam. This is if
22:27
Speaker 1: that same picture shows up all over the place under
22:30
Speaker 1: different names of an alisis whatever, that's a scamp. What
22:33
Speaker 1: if what if you would if I did that to
22:36
Speaker 1: your picture, would have said this is Josh Clark. Uh. Yeah,
22:39
Speaker 1: probably it's a pretty pretty smart computer. They got there. Yeah. Yeah,
22:45
Speaker 1: that's pretty creepy though, But I guess that's good. Like
22:49
Speaker 1: it's creepy on one hand, to be able to find
22:51
Speaker 1: out who someone is from a photo. Oh no, no, no,
22:53
Speaker 1: no, no no, not like that. Sorry, no. If it if
22:56
Speaker 1: if it were like on a dating site and it
22:58
Speaker 1: was just supposed to be somebody's photo, gotcha. If it
23:01
Speaker 1: came up as like, yeah, here's this photo that you found,
23:05
Speaker 1: here's the place that you found it, and here it
23:07
Speaker 1: is on these eighteen other profiles with eighteen other names,
23:10
Speaker 1: then you know it's a scam. But you can go back.
23:13
Speaker 1: It's kind of like a back door way to figure
23:16
Speaker 1: out if the person's made up profile. All right, So
23:19
Speaker 1: I guess that's good. My brain is not quite functioning today. Really,
23:23
Speaker 1: I'm saying things just a little out of syntax. Josh
23:26
Speaker 1: is going on vacation tomorrow. You're in vacation mode. Last
23:29
Speaker 1: day of school, I told him to rip up his
23:32
Speaker 1: research and throw it up in the air and run
23:33
Speaker 1: out of the building after. I'm pretty sucked. You should
23:36
Speaker 1: do that. Um. All right. So the free ones, like
23:39
Speaker 1: we said, are good because they're free, bit bad because
23:41
Speaker 1: of all that other stuff. The pay ones you gotta
23:43
Speaker 1: pay for, which isn't great, but a lot comes with that,
23:46
Speaker 1: which is like an identify identity verification process because they're
23:51
Speaker 1: gonna be using your credit card and stuff, so your
23:54
Speaker 1: information is going to be valid, valid and safe with
23:58
Speaker 1: the paid site supposedly, or you can see the pants
24:01
Speaker 1: off of that paid site for failing to verify correctly. Yeah,
24:05
Speaker 1: I guess. So you can also access uh other features
24:09
Speaker 1: if you're a paid member, like maybe they'll bump you
24:11
Speaker 1: up in search, or you'll have access to more information
24:14
Speaker 1: that seems wrong, like paying for your profile to come
24:17
Speaker 1: up higher. That's that's the basis of the Internet. I guess,
24:21
Speaker 1: you know, search referral. So, Chuck, we talked about making
24:25
Speaker 1: a profile. Let's talk about making a good profile. Yeah.
24:28
Speaker 1: And by the way, this was ed Grabanowski, right, the Grabster,
24:32
Speaker 1: I believe, so, yeah, an early grabster. Yeah. I think
24:36
Speaker 1: reading some of his examples here, I think we're learning
24:39
Speaker 1: about the grabster. Oh yeah, for sure. And I think
24:42
Speaker 1: he's talking about himself. But he does have some good
24:46
Speaker 1: ideas and I go out with him some good some
24:49
Speaker 1: good examples. Like he's basically saying, like, um, don't be
24:53
Speaker 1: a hack when you're coming up with your profile, especially
24:57
Speaker 1: when you're freewriting stuff. You know, like she was a
25:00
Speaker 1: cool picture of yourself. Chose a picture of yourself where, um,
25:05
Speaker 1: you're like, there's no not other people around, and you
25:08
Speaker 1: have a shirt on and you just don't look like
25:11
Speaker 1: a sleeves bag, you know. Um, use humor, Like, don't
25:15
Speaker 1: just say I'm funny, be funny. Yeah, don't just say
25:19
Speaker 1: I'm interested in something, Demonstrate how you're interested in like,
25:22
Speaker 1: and he said, beginning with the subject line, and he
25:24
Speaker 1: used two awesome examples. Frankly, yeah, bogart fan seeking unusual suspects. Okay,
25:30
Speaker 1: it was a half awesome example. The next one's awesome.
25:33
Speaker 1: Go ahead, Uh, come sail away with this boating enthusiast
25:37
Speaker 1: slash sticks fan. I think that is the grabster. I
25:40
Speaker 1: bet you anything that's Yeah, how would you come up
25:43
Speaker 1: with that? Like just using your imagination, I'd go out
25:46
Speaker 1: with that person. Um, you want to make sure that
25:49
Speaker 1: you fill out your whole form everything. Don't be lazy.
25:53
Speaker 1: If you're lazy, it sends a very clear signal that
25:55
Speaker 1: one you're lazy, which is not a good prospect for
25:58
Speaker 1: anybody unless people are in that well that's then you
26:01
Speaker 1: go on lazy date. Uh. And then it also says,
26:06
Speaker 1: um that I'm not really that into this. Yeah, this
26:10
Speaker 1: is halfhearted. Yeah, and definitely don't say my friends put
26:13
Speaker 1: me up to this. I'm usually don't do things like this,
26:16
Speaker 1: but I'm not a loser, so I don't know. I
26:18
Speaker 1: don't normally do that because you're insulting the very people
26:20
Speaker 1: that you're reaching out to. Yeah. Not not a good idea. Um.
26:24
Speaker 1: And like we said, you want to not just talk
26:27
Speaker 1: about yourself, you want to you want to demonstrate yourself. Yeah.
26:32
Speaker 1: And Ed again says instead of saying I enjoy Stanley
26:35
Speaker 1: Kubrick film, say the other night, I was watching a
26:38
Speaker 1: clockwork Orange and I found myself thinking, would be a
26:40
Speaker 1: lot more fun to watch and discuss with someone else,
26:43
Speaker 1: to suddenly punch as we're walking down along the waters
26:46
Speaker 1: movie about random violence and rape and torture. Be a
26:50
Speaker 1: lot more fun to watch it with someone. Or instead
26:54
Speaker 1: of I'm funny, say I love quoting Monty Python or
26:58
Speaker 1: Simpson's lines. You know that could be us. Well, we
27:02
Speaker 1: do that all the time. Uh. He says. Another way
27:05
Speaker 1: to be successful is to just know who you are
27:07
Speaker 1: and know what you want and know what you're looking for.
27:09
Speaker 1: And that's a big plus for people who get fixed
27:12
Speaker 1: up on dates. Like your friends might think someone's perfect
27:15
Speaker 1: for you, but who really knows best but yourself who's
27:18
Speaker 1: perfect for you? Yeah, so you can avoid all that
27:20
Speaker 1: the clap trap of getting set up on a bad date. Well,
27:23
Speaker 1: that's the whole role of online dating. Computer algorithms and
27:27
Speaker 1: apps and individuals are have taken over from these traditional
27:33
Speaker 1: roles of family friends, um, who co workers, Yeah, of
27:39
Speaker 1: of match of matchmaking. It's people taking it into their
27:42
Speaker 1: own hands or relying on a computer algorithm to do it. Yeah,
27:46
Speaker 1: which is I mean, that's the whole basis of online dating.
27:49
Speaker 1: That's the whole point of it. To me, it makes sense.
27:51
Speaker 1: It's just a timesaver, like who's got time to go
27:54
Speaker 1: through just the random maybe I'll meet someone thing. I
27:57
Speaker 1: think that's probably what ultimately a hundred years from now,
28:01
Speaker 1: historians anthropologis will look back on and explain the prevalence
28:04
Speaker 1: of online dating. That's why it's just more efficient, I guess. Um.
28:10
Speaker 1: And then lastly, this one's extremely important too. When you're
28:14
Speaker 1: creating a good profile, use grammar wisely. Yeah, don't don't
28:21
Speaker 1: like check from misspellings punctuation, like put some thought into it,
28:25
Speaker 1: because you'll look like a dummy if you have a
28:29
Speaker 1: poorly worded profile. Yeah. Or again, if that's your thing,
28:34
Speaker 1: if you want to type the letter you instead of
28:36
Speaker 1: y O U, then go to dumb Dumb love dot com.
28:38
Speaker 1: Do that and find fellow dumb dumbs. You're in the
28:41
Speaker 1: finding like minded people. You should be honest, you know,
28:44
Speaker 1: all right. You can also go to the rival site,
28:47
Speaker 1: oh dot com, so check before we go on. I
28:51
Speaker 1: like lazy date dot com. Pretty pretty soon. Uh, you're
28:54
Speaker 1: going to um be getting ready. You're gonna put on
28:57
Speaker 1: some aftershavee. You're very nice for off old tuxedo shirt,
29:01
Speaker 1: some palm made in your hair, and your high waiter
29:04
Speaker 1: pants with your white sox. It's time to go out
29:09
Speaker 1: there in the big wild world and actually meet somebody. Yeah.
29:11
Speaker 1: And this is after you have paying to this person. Yeah.
29:14
Speaker 1: And that's after this message and we're back chucking. It's
29:22
Speaker 1: time to go out in the world. Yeah. Like I said,
29:25
Speaker 1: this is um after you have been pained or paying
29:27
Speaker 1: someone else. That's right, so we should we should probably
29:30
Speaker 1: talk about that first. Like it's it's not just like
29:32
Speaker 1: you make a profile, and all of a sudden, you
29:34
Speaker 1: have a date and you go out like there is
29:36
Speaker 1: a first contact procedure. Sure, and um, it doesn't necessarily
29:41
Speaker 1: happen very quickly. Um, and some people choose to make contact. Apparently,
29:47
Speaker 1: you don't have to say much in your in your message.
29:50
Speaker 1: When you're making contact with somebody, the grabster says something like, UM, hey,
29:55
Speaker 1: I saw your profile and it seems like we have
29:56
Speaker 1: some common interest. Take a look at my profile and
29:59
Speaker 1: if you're interested, would send me a message? Is probably sufficient? Uh,
30:03
Speaker 1: And he says you might send a message to several
30:06
Speaker 1: people at once, one at a time, and then after
30:09
Speaker 1: you sent your messages, there's nothing you can do but wait. Yeah,
30:12
Speaker 1: And that I think goes back to how you are
30:14
Speaker 1: generally as a person. If before online dating, you're the
30:17
Speaker 1: kind of dude that would go to a bar and
30:19
Speaker 1: try and get like fifteen phone numbers, then you might
30:22
Speaker 1: want to scatter. You might take the shotgun approach. Uh.
30:26
Speaker 1: Or if you're not that kind of guy, if you're
30:28
Speaker 1: like me and never talk to girls at bars because
30:31
Speaker 1: you were just hanging out with your your buddies, then
30:34
Speaker 1: you might want to be a little more singular in
30:35
Speaker 1: your approach and say like this, this lady sounds really nice.
30:38
Speaker 1: Not these twelve ladies sound really nice. Let me see
30:40
Speaker 1: if one of them likes me back. She sounds like
30:42
Speaker 1: such a super lady. It depends on what kind of
30:45
Speaker 1: a hurry you're in. I guess it would be a
30:48
Speaker 1: little more methodical. But I've known I have friends that
30:50
Speaker 1: you know, take the shotgun approach. And I shouldn't keep
30:54
Speaker 1: saying that because that implies like you're killing somebody, right,
30:56
Speaker 1: I just mean you're spreading a wide, uh, testing a wide.
31:01
Speaker 1: So that's the capturing people in nets approach. That's right, um.
31:07
Speaker 1: And we should also point out to that there are
31:09
Speaker 1: a couple of ways ago about it. You can either
31:11
Speaker 1: get matched with someone through their algorithms that we talk about,
31:15
Speaker 1: or you can just do the searching yourself, like they
31:19
Speaker 1: can narrow down for you, and you could do it,
31:21
Speaker 1: you know, just search through until you find someone you like. Right,
31:23
Speaker 1: And there's a lot of sites out there that have
31:25
Speaker 1: no algorithm whatsoever. It's just that questionnaire you filled out
31:29
Speaker 1: is matched up with other questionnaires, and the the more
31:35
Speaker 1: similar answers there are in the two questionnaires, the higher
31:38
Speaker 1: the ranking of the person who um is suggested that
31:42
Speaker 1: you contact like you've got twelve things in common with
31:44
Speaker 1: this person. And then there's other sites um, which we'll
31:47
Speaker 1: talk about a little more that do use algorithms that
31:50
Speaker 1: have like basically UM proprietary algorithms supposedly do a lot
31:57
Speaker 1: more than that, just um comparing Simler questionnaires. Yeah, which
32:01
Speaker 1: one is that? Well? E harmony? Does they compare twenty
32:04
Speaker 1: nine dimensions of compatibility key dimensions? Yeah, that's right. I
32:08
Speaker 1: believe match dot com uses algorithms. UM. Chemistry dot com,
32:13
Speaker 1: which is apparently a subsite of match dot com, uses
32:18
Speaker 1: a personality inventory that the anthropologist Helen Fisher came up with. Yeah. Yeah, um,
32:24
Speaker 1: it's supposedly is kind of worky. Yeah. I don't know
32:29
Speaker 1: if that's the thing. No one has any idea how
32:32
Speaker 1: well this stuff works. Well, the company each side is
32:35
Speaker 1: going to tout their own method and say that we're
32:38
Speaker 1: really pairing you with someone who's like you. But I
32:42
Speaker 1: think in general they probably do a decent job for
32:44
Speaker 1: filling out all these things and someone has a lot
32:46
Speaker 1: of similar interest. It's not brain surgery to pair those
32:50
Speaker 1: people up and say you might like each other. Well,
32:52
Speaker 1: supposedly like people who are professional personality inventorists. That's a
32:59
Speaker 1: real thing out, Um, have sat down and taken these
33:03
Speaker 1: things and still are only scoring about and grabs their
33:07
Speaker 1: points out like these these people are professionals. If they
33:10
Speaker 1: set the average person down in front of the one
33:12
Speaker 1: of these personality inventories, they're they're they're not. We have
33:17
Speaker 1: a terrible ability to express what we want and who
33:22
Speaker 1: we are, right um. And as Helen Fisher was pointing out,
33:27
Speaker 1: like we were terrible at that kind of stuff. But
33:30
Speaker 1: if you can pay attention to people's behavior, then you
33:33
Speaker 1: can start making predictions very accurately, so they were saying
33:37
Speaker 1: in this article, and from what from other places I've seen,
33:40
Speaker 1: like those those algorithms don't necessarily do anything more than
33:44
Speaker 1: just the two comparing inventories. Would like comparing the two
33:49
Speaker 1: questionnaires and finding, you know, twenty eight similarities and there's
33:53
Speaker 1: your match right there. But like you said, the other
33:56
Speaker 1: way to go is to browse. Yeah, and I would
33:58
Speaker 1: recommend and this is just how I would do it,
34:00
Speaker 1: is that there are sites that give weighted answers to
34:05
Speaker 1: certain attributes. Like it's too black and white to me
34:09
Speaker 1: to say, I like blonde, I want a girl who's
34:11
Speaker 1: twenty five and who's a democrat. Um, you might feel
34:16
Speaker 1: really strongly about like a political belief, so you can
34:18
Speaker 1: say that's that one's super important to me, But Hair
34:21
Speaker 1: Keller really is not that big of a deal. So
34:23
Speaker 1: then that's down into the algorithm and you get a
34:25
Speaker 1: little more specific, like they're not gonna pair some super
34:29
Speaker 1: liberal person with a tea party person if they both
34:33
Speaker 1: say that's really important to them, it's like that's one
34:36
Speaker 1: of their values that they stick by it. Or I
34:38
Speaker 1: hate dogs and they pair to you with a dog lover,
34:41
Speaker 1: like you need to tell someone I really hate dogs. Well,
34:44
Speaker 1: that that goes back to being upfront and saying knowing
34:47
Speaker 1: what you want and saying it yeah, because apparently that
34:50
Speaker 1: that saves a lot of time as well. All Right,
34:53
Speaker 1: so you've made contact with some people, some people who
34:55
Speaker 1: have gotten in touch with you. You've messaged back and
34:58
Speaker 1: forth and you said, hey, let's meet in real life.
35:01
Speaker 1: The next step that you have to take, unless you're
35:05
Speaker 1: insane or just a dummy and you're on dumb Dumb
35:09
Speaker 1: dot com um, is to talk to this person on
35:12
Speaker 1: the phone, go to a pay phone, have them go
35:15
Speaker 1: to a pay phone. It doesn't matter. Good luck finding
35:18
Speaker 1: a payphone. You have to talk on the phone, because
35:21
Speaker 1: right then and there you're going to find out if
35:23
Speaker 1: it is a twelve year old boy. And we talked
35:25
Speaker 1: about earlier who liked who made a joke profile on
35:28
Speaker 1: a free site. Yeah, it's a good way to root
35:31
Speaker 1: out just some Uh, the biggest piece of dishonesty. Sure.
35:36
Speaker 1: I also imagine that you could probably find out pretty
35:38
Speaker 1: quickly if they're actually boring. Yeah. Sure, you can learn
35:41
Speaker 1: a lot by talking to someone. And if you think
35:43
Speaker 1: you can learn everything you need to know from emails,
35:46
Speaker 1: you're wrong. Well yeah, I mean, like it's not true.
35:49
Speaker 1: We've figured out by now how to perform online, you know,
35:54
Speaker 1: like people just know how to be online and what's
35:56
Speaker 1: expected of them online. It's it is much more difficult
35:59
Speaker 1: to talk. Yeah, as we quite often find ourselves saying
36:05
Speaker 1: things aren't good. Right, good. So then you want to
36:10
Speaker 1: go out in the real wide world, and you're going
36:12
Speaker 1: to arrange for Chuck a very public meeting YEA, A
36:16
Speaker 1: crowded place ye, lots of people a k A. Witnesses. Uh,
36:21
Speaker 1: And you should set up a date that is going
36:24
Speaker 1: to last no more than about an hour quick dinner, yeah,
36:29
Speaker 1: meet for coffee, maybe a movie, but a short one. Yeah,
36:33
Speaker 1: and that's that's. Um, we'll meet for a TV show right. Um.
36:40
Speaker 1: That is for your own safety and for your own sake,
36:43
Speaker 1: because sometimes you get it wrong or the dating site
36:46
Speaker 1: gets it wrong and you end up with someone who's
36:48
Speaker 1: not a match, and you don't want to waste each
36:50
Speaker 1: other's time, So make it quick. You can all if
36:53
Speaker 1: a feeling, if you're having a great time you both are,
36:56
Speaker 1: you can always extend that date. Sure, say hey, let's
36:59
Speaker 1: go that wine bar too, because dinner, dinner was great.
37:02
Speaker 1: I'd like to keep talking to you, right. It's harder
37:04
Speaker 1: to shorten a date, right, Like, remember how we were
37:07
Speaker 1: going to go to that wine bar after this, Let's
37:08
Speaker 1: not do that. And if I found out I hate
37:11
Speaker 1: your guts. Yeah, and it's real easy to say, you
37:14
Speaker 1: know what, I lied, I don't have to go help
37:16
Speaker 1: my mom clean out her sock drawer. I really like you.
37:19
Speaker 1: Let's keep the staate going. And it's super easy to say, no,
37:22
Speaker 1: I really do have to go help my mom clean
37:24
Speaker 1: under sock drawer. It's crazy. Yeah. Um, you also want
37:28
Speaker 1: to meet in public, like we said, for your safety
37:31
Speaker 1: as um, there's a woman from Las Vegas who's suing
37:35
Speaker 1: Match dot Com for ten million dollars right now because
37:38
Speaker 1: there was a man who she met and dated for
37:40
Speaker 1: like eight days who four months later came to her
37:43
Speaker 1: house and stabbed her a bunch of times and like
37:47
Speaker 1: kicked her head and neck and left her for dead.
37:49
Speaker 1: Was this after their relationship had gone bad or just yeah?
37:53
Speaker 1: So they dated for eight days. Four months later he
37:56
Speaker 1: shows up at her house and this guy apparently confessed
37:58
Speaker 1: to murdering another woman he met on match dot com too,
38:02
Speaker 1: and then killed himself in jail. Wow. Yeah, And there's
38:07
Speaker 1: it happens to men as well. There's a man who
38:09
Speaker 1: arranged to meet a woman and was beaten and robbed
38:11
Speaker 1: by the woman and her son. So you you don't
38:14
Speaker 1: want to invite people to your house and he's like,
38:16
Speaker 1: you didn't tell me you how to son? That's nice? Um,
38:24
Speaker 1: So you don't want to meet him at your house,
38:25
Speaker 1: You want to meet him in public? Yeah, just protect yourself.
38:28
Speaker 1: He has common sense and caution. Don't be a dummy
38:32
Speaker 1: that'd suggests a college sporting event. Yeah, you know, I
38:36
Speaker 1: Colledge was very because Ed wants to take a girl
38:38
Speaker 1: to a college sporting event, not pro. It doesn't like pro.
38:42
Speaker 1: If it's like pro, he would have written pro. Yeah,
38:45
Speaker 1: that's true. Uh you got anything else? Yeah, I totally do.
38:52
Speaker 1: So we were saying that, um, the this online dating thing,
38:58
Speaker 1: the sites themselves, there's they're still growing and it's becoming
39:02
Speaker 1: more and more normal. But then apps are becoming a
39:05
Speaker 1: little more um prevalent as well. Yeah, Like there's one
39:10
Speaker 1: called Tinder where you can see based on GPS. Is
39:15
Speaker 1: it Facebook profiles? I don't know, or maybe you have
39:18
Speaker 1: to make a Tinder profile I don't know, of the
39:21
Speaker 1: people who are literally right around you at like a
39:24
Speaker 1: coffee house or a bar or a club or whatever,
39:27
Speaker 1: and you can basically say I'm interested in this person,
39:32
Speaker 1: I like how this person looks, I like this person.
39:34
Speaker 1: And if the those people on Tinder say the same
39:38
Speaker 1: thing about you, then you can communicate with one another. Apparently,
39:42
Speaker 1: like that's a big thing now. Yeah, some of them
39:44
Speaker 1: are are less about dating and more about just kind
39:49
Speaker 1: of hooking up. Maybe like, hey, I found someone who's
39:52
Speaker 1: two blocks for me. Do you want to go kiss
39:56
Speaker 1: each other for a little while in that alley? You
39:59
Speaker 1: can and do that, and I don't I don't know,
40:02
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's an online dating site, but
40:04
Speaker 1: it's a thing that exists. Now. Well, yeah, dating, it
40:08
Speaker 1: depends on your interpretation of the word date. Um. And
40:11
Speaker 1: then lastly, Chuck Wired got together with Okay Cuping and
40:15
Speaker 1: match dot com and did some data mining and came
40:19
Speaker 1: up with some tips for um, how to optimize your
40:23
Speaker 1: online dating profile. Uh so, for example, this is real.
40:29
Speaker 1: This is based on Okay cuping and match dot COM's figures.
40:33
Speaker 1: And apparently that's another surprising byproduct is these dating sites,
40:39
Speaker 1: the raw data they do have are serving the fields
40:42
Speaker 1: of like anthropology and sociology. They're starting to open up
40:46
Speaker 1: their their raw data archives and say go go get
40:49
Speaker 1: whatever you want from us, and it's helping. It's helping
40:53
Speaker 1: things like wired. So if you're a guy and you
40:56
Speaker 1: have a tattoo, it's cool. If you're a woman you
40:58
Speaker 1: have a tattoo, you're you're going to have a harder
41:02
Speaker 1: time getting a date. Really, statistically speaking, mass dot com
41:06
Speaker 1: and Okay keeping all right, if you talk about karaoke,
41:09
Speaker 1: you're going to bomb. Really yeah wow, this one says
41:15
Speaker 1: be hotter than you are. Now that's a good tip.
41:18
Speaker 1: Send a picture that underrepresents yourself slightly and then show
41:22
Speaker 1: up and be like, oh, yeah, actually dropped ten pounds.
41:26
Speaker 1: Check check it out if you if you are a female,
41:30
Speaker 1: you want to talk about London, New York City, yoga, surfing,
41:34
Speaker 1: and the word athlete. If you use those in your profile,
41:37
Speaker 1: you are likelier to get dates. You all, you want
41:41
Speaker 1: to always refer to yourself as a girl, never as
41:44
Speaker 1: a woman. Okay, and if you're a boy, you never
41:49
Speaker 1: want to use the word girl when referring to women.
41:52
Speaker 1: You always use the word women. Interesting. Someone took us
41:55
Speaker 1: to task the other day in an email about saying
41:57
Speaker 1: female like we should say or should you should not
42:01
Speaker 1: say female? Saying you guys don't say male, you say
42:04
Speaker 1: female though, And I was like, I didn't know that
42:06
Speaker 1: was a bad association with about what I would have
42:09
Speaker 1: think saying like dames or broads would be superfensive. But
42:12
Speaker 1: I thought female was like a like kind of the
42:14
Speaker 1: straight and narrow way to go with identification of someone's gender. Yeah,
42:18
Speaker 1: I'm confused, I almost dude. I didn't get a response,
42:20
Speaker 1: so maybe I misunderstood it. Apparently Wired says men who
42:24
Speaker 1: use the word whom get more contacts from women. The
42:29
Speaker 1: word what whom? W h O m oh, yeah, even
42:33
Speaker 1: when it's used incorrectly, I guess that's that's that's an
42:37
Speaker 1: impressive thing to say. Whom. Uh. If you're a man,
42:42
Speaker 1: you can talk about crafting and your children. If you're
42:45
Speaker 1: a woman, don't ever bring up crafting and never bring
42:48
Speaker 1: up your children. Man, that is just so wrong. It
42:51
Speaker 1: is very wrong, you know. I mean like, this is
42:53
Speaker 1: this is what I'm talking about. Anthropologically speaking, This is
42:58
Speaker 1: like misogyny is alive. And yeah, what else you got? Uh?
43:02
Speaker 1: Radio Head is the only band you should ever talk about? Apparently, Um,
43:09
Speaker 1: let's see, that's funny. The word retirement is attracted as
43:14
Speaker 1: far as it's related to men's profiles, but not women's. Yeah,
43:17
Speaker 1: if you're on wealthy men dot com and you see
43:20
Speaker 1: the word retirement, that's probably pretty good, I'm sure. Uh.
43:23
Speaker 1: And then also, if you have a shureless pick of yourself,
43:28
Speaker 1: you're not gonna do very well if you put a
43:31
Speaker 1: shortless pick of yourself as a man or woman, I
43:34
Speaker 1: imagine either way, but probably it's even worse with men.
43:38
Speaker 1: But it is true. I mean, like, even if you're
43:40
Speaker 1: a girl and you just put up like kind of
43:42
Speaker 1: a smudgy selfie or something like that. Yeah, it definitely
43:46
Speaker 1: says a certain amount too, and you're gonna attract like
43:48
Speaker 1: a certain kind of guy that you might not be
43:50
Speaker 1: interested in. You just said smutty selfie. Ye. Yeah, it's
43:56
Speaker 1: almost like the Golden rule. Treat others as you want
43:59
Speaker 1: to be treated. Its represent yourself how you want to
44:02
Speaker 1: be viewed. Well, yeah, I mean, if you want to
44:05
Speaker 1: represent yourself as a smutty person, then put a smutty selfie.
44:11
Speaker 1: But you're the people you get, you know what you're
44:13
Speaker 1: gonna be getting, right, that's exactly I think that's well,
44:16
Speaker 1: well put like you're you're asking for it in that
44:18
Speaker 1: case from the dregs of society to send you a
44:21
Speaker 1: date request at that point and to try like hell
44:25
Speaker 1: to find out your address. That's right. Uh. If you
44:29
Speaker 1: want to learn more about online dating, go give it
44:31
Speaker 1: a shot. There's free sites and stuff. You don't have
44:34
Speaker 1: to listen to us we've never even done it. Or
44:36
Speaker 1: you could also look up this article from Ed Grabanowski
44:39
Speaker 1: for some pointers and tips. Um by by typing online
44:43
Speaker 1: dating in the search bar at house to works dot
44:45
Speaker 1: com and let's see, everybody has the search bar, which
44:48
Speaker 1: means it's time for listener. Mail you said it's muddy selfie,
44:53
Speaker 1: so it's time for listen. If there's something wrong with it,
44:55
Speaker 1: I just think it's a funny pairing of words. Well,
44:58
Speaker 1: it's the on a montopia. No know that alliteration, Yeah, literation,
45:01
Speaker 1: It sounds funny. Aunt amount of would be like um
45:05
Speaker 1: smooty popping, right, I think so? Or yeah? Is that
45:10
Speaker 1: when the word sounds like the sound? Okay, hey guys,
45:15
Speaker 1: I'm gonna call this pinged from Sacramento. Hey, guys, have
45:19
Speaker 1: just finished the podcast on robots replacing human doctors. There's
45:22
Speaker 1: a reason I don't think we'll see that soon. Um.
45:24
Speaker 1: Doctors are trained scientists who specialize in human health. The
45:27
Speaker 1: whole reason we need trained scientists doctors is that human
45:30
Speaker 1: physiology and chemistry very enough. That's not sufficient to treat
45:34
Speaker 1: each patient in the same way. If we can treat
45:36
Speaker 1: all patients the same way, nurses and diagnostic manuals or
45:39
Speaker 1: computer systems would be sufficient. Because all humans don't respond
45:42
Speaker 1: the same to the same treatment, you actually do need
45:45
Speaker 1: a specialized scientists actively involved in the process. Still, I
45:48
Speaker 1: think robots or computer systems will replace many human doctors
45:51
Speaker 1: in time, though, we just need more intelligent robots, ones
45:54
Speaker 1: that are capable of thought beyond a simple preprogrammed or spots.
45:58
Speaker 1: Our current tech as you indicated, suitable for initial screening
46:01
Speaker 1: and such. With thinking machines, we could actually replace doctors,
46:04
Speaker 1: as you said, With thinking machines, we could actually replace doctors,
46:08
Speaker 1: and as you said, they'd be more current on their
46:10
Speaker 1: medical knowledge. The big question would be whether such machines
46:13
Speaker 1: would consent to serve humanity as our current automatons do.
46:19
Speaker 1: And that is from Andy Ping and Sacramento. Nice. Thanks
46:22
Speaker 1: a lot, Andy Ping. That's the kind of name you
46:25
Speaker 1: say first and last. Never just say Andy or Mr Ping,
46:29
Speaker 1: Andy Pink or Dr Pain Maybe is he a doctor? No?
46:33
Speaker 1: I don't think so. Is the evil super villain? Yes? Okay,
46:39
Speaker 1: then Dr Pain it is uh. If you want us
46:42
Speaker 1: to make a nickname for you, or just say your
46:44
Speaker 1: first and last name together, because that's how it should
46:46
Speaker 1: be said. You can get in touch with us by
46:49
Speaker 1: tweeting to us at s Y s K podcast. You
46:52
Speaker 1: can join us on Facebook dot com slash stuff you
46:54
Speaker 1: should know. You can send us an email to Stuff
46:57
Speaker 1: Podcast at Discovery dot com and is always check us
47:00
Speaker 1: out at our home on the web. Stuff you Should
47:02
Speaker 1: Know dot com for more on this and thousands of
47:10
Speaker 1: other topics. Is it How stuff works dot com? Hey.
47:19
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