Latest / LIVING WITHOUT FEAR / 157. Living Without Fear - Why You Never Feel Proud of Yourself (And How to Fix It) | With Esther Buerki

Transcript

157. Living Without Fear - Why You Never Feel Proud of Yourself (And How to Fix It) | With Esther Buerki · LIVING WITHOUT FEAR

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  You have already done incredible things, but if no one ever
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  taught you to celebrate them, you probably don't even know it
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  yet. Hello, beautiful soul.
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  Welcome back to the show. I'm Esther coming to you from
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  Switzerland. And today, today I want to talk
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  to you about something that might seem small, but I promise
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  you by the end of this episode, you'll realize it might be one
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  of the most powerful things missing from your life.
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  We're talking about celebrating yourself.
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  Not in a loud, bragging look at me kind of way now.
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  I'm talking about the quiet, sacred act of looking at what
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  you've done, what you've survived, what you've felt, what
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  you've become, and actually letting yourself feel proud,
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  really feel it. In your chest, in your bones, in
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  your soul. And that's exactly where I want
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  to start today. Let me ask you something honest.
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  When was the last time you did something, Finished the project,
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  showed up for someone, got through a hard week, took one
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  small brave step and you actually stopped and said I'm
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  proud of myself, Not just moved on, not just crossed it off the
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  list, but really generally let yourself feel good about it.
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  For most of us, the silence after that question says
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  everything. I know because I lived that
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  silence for years. Growing up celebrating yourself
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  just wasn't something we did. It wasn't in my family DNA.
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  It wasn't modelled for me. It wasn't even a conversation.
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  You did the thing and then you moved to the next thing.
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  Full stop. And I think so many of us,
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  especially women, especially people who were raised to be
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  humble, to not take up too much space, we carry this invisible
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  belief that pride is arrogance, that celebrating yourself is
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  showing off. What if celebrating your
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  progress is actually the fuel that keeps you going?
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  That's the shift I want to invite you into to today.
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  A few years ago, I stepped into an an extraordinary world.
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  The world of Tony Robbins. As a crew member, as a
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  volunteer, as someone who said yes to showing up and serving at
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  his events. And inside that world, I learned
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  something that sounds almost ridiculously simple.
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  Whenever someone shared something they had done,
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  something they had accomplished, something they were working on,
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  we would stop everything and we would do this one 2-3 you rock,
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  clapping, cheering the whole group and then the person
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  themselves would say out loud, I rock.
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  I rock Esther. The first time I did it, I
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  thought, OK, this is a little strange, maybe even a little
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  silly, but I felt awkward. I felt like I was pretending.
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  But here's what I didn't expect. The more I did it, the more I
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  let myself say those words, the more I let the cheering land.
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  Something started to shift. Not on the outside.
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  On the inside, I became someone who celebrates her small wins.
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  Someone who sees progress where she used to only see how far she
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  still had to go. And I carry that practice with
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  me everywhere now. In our weekly mastermind group,
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  5 people, four different countries, all on this pass
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  together. Every time someone shares about
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  their week, we stop, we celebrate, we hold space for
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  each other's courage, no matter how small the step, because
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  small steps deserve big celebrations.
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  That's not a nice idea. That's a lot of momentum.
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  I want to share something personal with you today.
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  Last week I received a box. It came from the United States.
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  I opened it and inside there were orange T-shirts.
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  Not just any T-shirts in white letters it said senior leader.
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  I stood there holding that T-shirt and I cried happy tears,
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  full heart tears, because 10 years ago, I want you to really
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  hear this. 10 years ago, I was someone who admired the coaches
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  and senior leaders at Tony Robbins events from a distance.
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  I watched them move through the room with this presence, this
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  confidence, this deep knowing of who they were, and I thought,
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  that could never be me. I'm not the leader.
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  I hide. I don't step up for myself.
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  I speak up for my sons at school, yes, but when it comes
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  to my own life, my own truth, my own voice, I shrink.
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  And yet here I am, holding the T-shirt with the written
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  letters. Senior leader, you cannot buy
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  this title. You cannot pass an exam for it.
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  There is no diploma on the wall. It happens through years of
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  small steps, years of showing up.
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  Years of inner transformation. Years of saying yes when fear
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  said no. Years of crewing at the events,
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  attending the Leadership Academy, going back to date with
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  destiny, serving again and again, even when I wasn't sure I
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  was ready. I had already served at 2 events
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  as a senior leader. But today, holding that T-shirt
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  in my hands, seeing senior leader in white letters on that
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  bright blazing orange, my heart felt something it doesn't always
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  let itself feel. Pride.
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  Real, full, unashamed pride. And I want to celebrate it out
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  loud because that's what I've learned to do.
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  Now. I want to be really clear about
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  something. I'm not sharing this to brag.
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  I'm not sharing this to impress you or make you feel like you're
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  not enough. I'm sharing this because I know.
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  I know that there's something in your life right now.
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  A dream sitting on the shelf. A goal that feels too big, too
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  far, too impossible for Someone Like You.
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  Maybe it's starting your own business.
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  Maybe it's healing a relationship, maybe it's writing
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  the book, recording the first episode, having the difficult
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  conversation, leaving but no longer serves you, stepping into
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  who you know you're meant to be. Whatever it is, it's not too
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  far, it's not too big, it's not impossible.
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  It just requires something we often forget.
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  Patience, small steps, and the courage to celebrate every
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  single one of them. Think about how a mountain is
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  climbed not in one giant leap from the valley to the summit.
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  Step by step, breath by breath, and that every clearing, every
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  view, you pause. You look at how far you've come
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  and you say, look at that, I did that.
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  That pause, that celebration is what gives you the energy to
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  keep going. For me, it started with crewing
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  virtually at the Tony Robbins event from my living room in
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  Switzerland. That was step one.
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  Then attending the Leadership Academy, showing up at his
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  events in person in Colonia, crewing, serving, growing into
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  leadership, and today the T-shirt.
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  Each step was a celebration. Each celebration gave me courage
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  for the next step. And I want that for you.
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  So how do you do this practically?
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  Let me give you something real to take away today.
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  Step one, notice the next time you do something, anything,
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  pause before you move on. Don't rush to the next task.
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  Just stop for three seconds and ask, did I just do that?
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  Step two, name it, say it out loud.
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  I made that call I was afraid to make.
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  I showed up today even though I was exhausted.
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  I said no when everything in me wanted to say yes to keep the
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  peace, I took the first step. Step three.
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  Feel it. Don't just think it.
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  Let it move through your body. Put your hand on your heart.
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  Smile, jump if you need to, need to say I'm proud of myself for
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  this. Step 4.
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  Tell someone, send a voice message, write it in your
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  journal, share it in a group of people who get it.
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  Celebration multiplies when it's witnessed.
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  Because here's the truth. What you celebrate, you repeat,
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  and what you repeat you become. The more you celebrate, the
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  small wins, the more your nervous system learns.
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  Progress is safe. Growth is good.
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  I'm capable. I'm becoming, and slowly,
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  quietly, beautifully, the small steps start to add up to
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  something that takes your breath away.
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  I want to leave you with this before we close.
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  Whatever you are working toward right now, be patient with
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  yourself. The world is so fast, social
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  media shows you everyone else highlight and your nervous
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  system whispers you're falling behind.
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  But you are not falling behind. You are on your path, and your
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  path has its own timing. Don't compare your chapter 3 to
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  someone else's Chapter 20. Don't give up because the goal
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  seems far. It only seems far when you're
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  standing at the bottom looking up.
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  Start walking. Take one step, celebrate it,
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  take another. And please, please be as kind to
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  yourself as you would be to someone you love.
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  Celebrate yourself the way you would celebrate your best
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  friend, your child, your sister. You deserve your own applause.
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  123 You rock. Say it, say your name, mean it.
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  I'm so grateful you spent this time with me today, that you
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  showed up for yourself by pressing play.
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  That is already a win worth celebrating.
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  I'm Esther, coming to you from Switzerland, a country of
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  mountains that know something about patients and about the
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  view that rewards every step. If today's episode touched your
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  heart, please share it with someone who needs to hear it,
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  someone who has been too hard on themselves for too long.
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  Someone who is doing so much more than they give themselves
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  credit for. And if you have a moment, leave
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  a review or send me a message. I love hearing from you, I
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  really do. And before I let you go, I want
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  to offer you something. If today's episode steered
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  something in you. If there's a goal you've been
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  carrying quietly, a dream you're not sure how to start, or a
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  version of yourself you keep glimpsing but don't quite know
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  how to step into, I want to invite you to a free coaching
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  session with me. Just you and me.
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  No pressure, no pitch. Just a real, honest conversation
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  about where you are, where we want to go, and what that next
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  small step might look like for you.
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  This is the work I love most. Sitting across from someone or
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  across from a screen and helping them see what's they cannot yet
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  see about themselves. Helping them feel, maybe for the
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  first time, what it's like to be truly celebrated, to have
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  someone say, I see you, I believe in you, you've got this
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  because you do. You absolutely do.
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  All you have to do is reach out. You'll find the link in the show
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  notes, or you can send me a message directly.
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  I would be so honored to walk this next step with you.
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  Until next time, keep going, keep celebrating, keep becoming
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  with so much love Esther from Switzerland for the World.