Latest / Banned Camp: Banned Books, Comedy, and Free Speech vs. Censorship / The Catcher in the Rye Ch. 20: Drunk Dials, Broken Records & Central Park at 1AM | Banned Books Podcast

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The Catcher in the Rye Ch. 20: Drunk Dials, Broken Records & Central Park at 1AM | Banned Books Podcast · Banned Camp: Banned Books, Comedy, and Free Speech vs. Censorship

Welcome to Band Camp.
I'm Jennifer.
And I'm Dan, and this is the podcast where we read band books out loud to try to figure out why they were banned in the first place.
This season, we're reading The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger, and you could consider this a quick spoiler warning if you want, because Jennifer is about to start reading from the book out.
Loud word for word.
But if you're new, and this is your first episode, you're totally fine starting out here.
You're not gonna get too confused.
We're gonna get you oriented real quick because we have a fact checking robot.
We're gonna introduce you to him in a second.
you probably will be confused because there's a good chance we're gonna be confused.
We've never read this book either, so you're literally hearing us read it for the first time.
Stumble over our words and then be confused.
That's the charm of band camp.
We're not too smart.
Robot, come on in here.
and tell everyone where we left off last time.
In the catcher, in the rye.
Previously on Band Camp Holden invited old loose to the wicker bar so they could catch up instead of having a normal conversation.
He annoyed the guy until he got up and left Holden in his natural state, which is 100% completely, totally alone.
Take it from your old buddy robot.
Stop being so annoying.
You can be a bit much interesting thing about breaking things.
Eventually you run out of things that are yours.
Take it away, Jennifer.
Thank you, robot.
And with that being said, scary book people.
Let's begin Chapter 20 of JD Salinger's, the Catcher in the Rye.
I kept sitting there getting drunk and waiting for old Tina and Janine to come out and to do their stuff, but they weren't there.
And those are the two French ladies.
Oh, this is right.
We are, oh, reminds me of that, uh, Melania Press conference she had.
imagine those two.
I not friend with pedophile.
I married pedophile.
By chance.
By chance, I Mary pedophile.
AFL looking guy with wavy hair came out and played the piano.
Then this new babe Valencia came out and sang.
She wasn't any good, but she was better than old Tina and Janine, and at least she sang good songs.
The piano was right next to the bar where I was sitting, and old Valencia was standing practically right next to me.
I sort of gave her the old eye, but she pretended she didn't even see me.
I probably wouldn't have done it, but I was getting drunk as hell.
When she was finished, she beat me out of the room so fast.
I didn't even get a chance to invite her to join me for a drink.
So I called the head waiter over, I told him to ask old Valencia if she'd care to join me for a drink.
He said he would, but he probably didn't even give her my message.
People never give your message to anybody.
Boy, I sat at that goddamn bar till around one o'clock or so.
Getting drunk is a bastard.
Wait, okay, so is this one in the morning? well, they went on their date, right? So they went to the movie or the play? Then he saw loose.
Yeah.
this can't all have been before one in the afternoon.
This has to be one in the morning.
Old loose, left the bar Yeah, Like minutes after old loose left.
This is going on.
So he sat there all afternoon into the night, up to 1:00 AM.
I guess so.
I guess time flies when you're having fun.
Wow.
It's a lot of booze for a little skinny kid.
The guy is not a lightweight, I'll tell you what.
like, he's like over six feet, right? So he's got the height.
Does that count for anything? yeah, probably.
But I'm like six feet.
I got a couple extra pounds on this guy too.
I would not be able to pull that off.
I'd be drunk as a bastard, as this youngster said.
I could hardly see straight.
The one thing I did though, I was careful as hell not to get boisterous or anything.
I don't want anybody to notice me or anything or ask how I was, but boy, I could hardly see straight.
When I was really drunk, I started that stupid business with the bullet in my guts.
Again, I was the only guy at the bar with a bullet in their guts.
I kept putting my hand under my jacket on my stomach to keep the blood from dripping all over the place.
I didn't want anybody to know I was even wounded.
So he's talking about the fantasy he had after the, uh, Sonny and the pimp.
Beat him up and he had that fantasy that he was shot in the gut.
Right.
now this kid is drunk, it's, one in the morning and he's pretending that he was shot in the stomach.
Yeah.
And what is this, like, why is he doing this? is this a metaphor for something like, We have to keep reading.
It could be a metaphor or it could just be 'cause a 16-year-old is drunk and he's pretending that he was shot.
I mean, I, who knows? Who knows where his head is? I was concealing the fact that I was a wounded son of a bitch.
Finally, what? I felt like, I felt like giving old Jane a buzz and see if she was home yet.
So I paid my check and all.
Then I left the bar and went out where the telephones were.
I ca well, he doesn't even have a hotel room or anything, right? Like I, I, I jumped straight to logistics.
I'm like, where are you staying tonight? Are you gonna be okay? Like, that's immediately where my mind goes.
is You're totally right.
It's one in the morning.
He's a drunk teenager.
He has no place to go.
boy was I drunk when I got inside this phone booth.
I wasn't much in the mood anymore to give old Jane a buzz.
I was too drunk, I guess.
So what I did, I gave old Sally Hayes a buzz.
I had to dial about 20 numbers before I got the right one.
Boy was I blind.
Hello? I said, when somebody answered the goddamn phone, I sort of yelled it.
I was so drunk.
Who is this? This Cold Lady's voice said, this is me, Holden Caulfield.
Let me speak as Sally, please.
This kid is drunk.
It's not, the best move.
Like her mom doesn't like him, right? That's right.
This is not gonna help him with that Holden.
He goes from literally sitting in a bar saying, I tried very hard not to be boisterous.
And I'll fast forward to him.
I know.
Is this Sally? Uh, is Sally? Why? Who is this now? Is Sally Hayes there? Sally's asleep.
This is Sally's grandmother.
Why are you calling up this hour? Holden, do you know what time it is? Yeah.
Wanna talk to Sally? Very important.
Put her on Sally's asleep young man.
Call her tomorrow.
Good night.
Wake her up.
Wake her up.
Hey, then there was this different voice, Holden, this is me.
It was old Sally.
What's the big idea, Sally? That you Yes.
Stop screaming.
Are you drunk? Yeah.
Yeah.
Listen.
Hey, I'll come over Christmas Eve.
Okay.
Trim a god darn tree for you.
Okay? Hey, Sally.
Yes.
You're drunk.
Go to bed now.
Where are you? Who's with you? Sally, I'll come over and trim a tree for you.
Okay? Yes.
Go to bed now.
Where are you? Who's with you? Nobody.
Me, myself and I.
Boy was I drunk.
I was even still holding onto my guts.
They got me Rocky's mob got me.
You know that, Sally? Hey, you know that I can't hear you.
Go to bed now.
I have to go call me tomorrow.
Hey Sally, you wanna trim a tree for ya? What? Hey, Sally, you wanna you? It's just crazy.
Hey, Sally.
You want me trim a tree for you? You want me to, huh? Yes.
Goodnight.
Go home and go to bed.
She's saying basically what you've been screaming, Dan.
She hung up on me.
Goodnight.
Goodnight.
Sally baby.
Sally's sweetheart, darling.
I said, can you imagine how drunk I was? I hung up two.
Then I figured she probably just came home from a date.
I pictured her out with the lunch and all somewhere and that Andover jerk, all of them swimming around in a goddamn pot of tea and saying sophisticated stuff to each other and being charming and phony.
I wish to God, I hadn't even phoned her.
When I'm drunk, I'm a madman.
Sally, Hey, hello is me, Holden.
You wanna let me come? A trim of your tree.
Come on, baby.
You know I do it Good.
Your tree? I do it.
Good.
Okay.
I do it.
Scary book people.
What is the most embarrassing drunk text or phone call you've ever made? What did you say in what happened the next morning? Most humiliating answers make the show easiest way to answer is a Spotify comment or bandcamp podcast.com/sound
off.
I stayed in that damn phone booth for quite a while.
I kept holding onto the phone sort of so I wouldn't pass out.
I wasn't feeling too marvelous to tell the truth.
Finally though, I came out and went in the men's room staggering around like a moron and filled one of the wash bowls with cold water.
Can you imagine Dan going to a bar? Filling up the sink in the bathroom and washing your face with that Oh my God.
There is no, that would be the cold water.
Yeah, yeah.
No, no.
It would You know, people are like hucking loogie in there and everything it.
That is the grossest thing.
I think I've read in this entire book.
I mean, to be fair, you are adding the chucking of Louie's made it arguably What? It's a bar bathroom.
It's a bar's bathroom in New York City.
I'm thankful that he called old Sally and not old Jane.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I want him to end up with Jane because I think she's like a really positive role model for him.
And Sally is just Sally.
Nothing against her.
She seems fine.
Clearly the victim of whatever this is what is ever going on here.
right.
Sally did not have a great date with Holden today.
No, he was awful.
I mean, he plainly doesn't like her, so it's a bad date, But you wanted him come over, trim a tree.
Then I ducked my head right in, right up to the ears.
I didn't even bother to dry it or anything.
I just let the son of a bitch drip.
Then I walked over to this radiator by the window and sat down by it.
It was nice and warm.
It felt good because I was shivering like a bastard.
It's a funny thing.
I always shiver like hell when I'm drunk.
I didn't have anything else to do, so I kept sitting on the radiator and counting these little white squares on the floor.
I was getting soaked about a gallon of water was dripping down my neck, getting all over my collar and Ty and all, I was too drunk to give a damn.
Then he sounds like he's feeling really sorry for himself.
he is a kid who is drunk now.
He's one o'clock in the morning in the bathroom of a bar.
Somebody from the establishment is going to come in.
Yeah.
Whatever's gonna happen.
He better get sober real quick or he is probably gonna have a whole other adventure that, I'll be honest with you, Jennifer, I don't know if I'm strong enough to take another adventure with this kid.
I just want him to go to bed.
Then pretty soon, the guy that played the piano for old Valencia, this very wavy haired, flitty looking guy, came into comb his golden locks.
We sort of struck up a conversation while he was combing it, except that he wasn't too goddamn friendly.
Hey, you gonna see that Valencia babe, when you go back to the bar? I asked him.
It's highly probable, he said, witty bastard.
All I ever meet is witty bastards.
Listen, give her my compliments.
Ask her if that goddamn waiter gave her my message.
Will ya? Why don't you go home? Mac.
Everyone's telling him, how old are you anyway? 86.
Listen, give her my compliments, okay? Why don't you go home, Mac, Boy, you can play that goddamn piano.
I told him I was just flattering him.
he played the piano stinking.
If you wanna know the truth, you ought to go on the radio.
I said, handsome chap, like you all those goddamn golden locks.
You need a manager.
Go home, Mac like a good guy.
Go home and hit the sack.
No home to go to.
No kidding, you need a manager.
He didn't answer me, he just went out.
He was all through combing his hair and patting it and all.
So he left like Strad Ladder.
All these handsome guys are the same when they're done combing their goddamn hair.
They beat it on you Holden? Who is the.
Common denominator first.
We were ready to put the blame on Strad Ladder for kind of being a jerk.
But you're just basically explaining the exact thing that happened with Strad Ladder and now here's another guy, an innocent guy who is putting on a show, came into like freshen up so he could do their next set or whatever.
Uh, what? He's another asshole.
You seem to attract assholes, He does seem to do that, doesn't he? so it's kind of might be on you Holden.
Hate to say it.
When I finally got down off the radiator and went out to the hat check room, I was crying and all.
I don't know why, but I was, I guess it was because I was feeling so damn depressed and lonesome then when I went to the check room, I couldn't find my goddamn check.
The hat check girl was very nice about it though.
She gave me my coat anyway, and my little Shirley Beans record, I still had it with me and all.
I gave her a buck for being so nice, but she wouldn't take it.
She kept telling me to go home and go to bed.
Everyone you understand, Take the hint.
I sort of tried to make a date with her for when she got through working, but she wouldn't to bed.
You don't need to make a date on your way out.
She said she was old enough to be my mother.
I showed her my goddamn gray hair and told her I was 42.
I was only horsing around naturally.
She was nice though.
I showed her my goddamn red hunting hat, and she liked it.
She made me put it on before I went out because my hair was still pretty wet.
She was all right.
I didn't feel too drunk anymore when I went outside, but it was getting very cold out again, and my teeth started chattering like hell.
I couldn't make them stop.
I walked over to Madison Avenue and started to wait around for a bus because I didn't hardly have any money left, and I had to start economizing on cabs and all, wait, he hardly has any money left that, He was, he's spending like a madman.
he's just not in his right head.
He had enough money.
He could've had a really nice like, experience, like at a nice hotel room, have nice meals, and he's just like, he's not right in the head.
because he is so Holden, this is gonna sound dumb, but honestly, you know, like when you live in a place that is sometimes like a touristy kind of place, like I lived in New York for three or four years.
I never did any of the touristy stuff that people come from all over the country to do.
Like go see the rocketts, right? You know what would've been really great for him back when he had money, which was like back like 80 chapters ago.
But in reality, seven hours ago maybe in this story, remember the three witches from Seattle and they had to go to bed early because they were gonna wake up the next morning and go to see the Rockets.
Oh yeah.
it have been great? if they said, Holden, do you wanna come with us tomorrow morning? You should have said, yeah, let me go back, get some sleep.
I'll meet you girls there.
He'd have such a really nice time, right.
can't get out of his own way.
It's sad.
It is really sad.
And then again, the other thing, like how you just read that made me think, remember this, this is going on a week or two before Christmas.
This is December.
It is freezing out there.
So the coat check girl saying, put your hat on.
It's not because she thinks you look cute.
She really is worried that here's this young kid with a wet head going out in the middle of the night in New York.
Like, put your hat on, go to bed.
So you actually make it through the night.
I walked over to Madison Avenue and started to wait around for a bus because I didn't hardly have any money left, and I had to start economizing on cabs and all, but I didn't feel like getting on a damn bus.
And besides, I didn't even know where I was supposed to go.
So what I did, I started walking over to the park.
I figured I'd go by that little lake and see what the hell the ducks were doing, see if they were around or not.
Oh, here we go with the ducks.
It wasn't far over to the park and I didn't have any place else special to go.
I didn't even know where I was going to sleep yet, so I went, I wasn't tired or anything.
I just felt blue as hell.
Then something terrible happened just as I got to the park.
I dropped old Phoebe's record.
It broke into about 50 pieces.
It was in a big envelope and all, but it broke.
Anyway, that is terrible.
I damn near cried.
It made me feel so terrible, but all I did was I took the pieces out of the envelope and put them in my coat pocket.
they weren't any good for anything, but I didn't feel like just throwing them away.
Then I went in the park.
boy, was it dark? I've lived in New York all my life and I know Central Park like the back of my hand because I used to roller skate there all the time and ride my bike when I was a kid.
But I had the most terrific trouble finding the lagoon that night.
I knew right where it was.
It was right near Central Park South and all.
But I still couldn't find it.
I must have been drunker than I thought.
I kept walking and walking and it kept getting darker and darker and spookier, and spookier.
Boy, I don't like this.
This is dangerous.
I don't like this.
Why? people are seeing this kid suffer.
He needs someone to say, okay, I'll have a drink with you.
Alright, here, why don't you come over to my place? And then, put him to sleep on the couch, take his boots off, and um, give him a warm blanket or something.
It's sad that no one's doing that.
I think you're totally right and it's really sad and I just cannot shake the feeling of doom.
I, I am just so worried about this kid.
I didn't see one person the whole time I was in the park.
I'm just glad I probably would've jumped about a mile if I had.
Then finally I found it what it was, it was partly frozen and partly not frozen, I walked all around the whole damn lake.
I damn near fell in once in fact.
But I didn't see a single duck I thought maybe if there were any around they might be asleep or something near the edge of the water, near the grass and all.
That's how I nearly fell in, but I couldn't find any.
Finally, I sat down on this bench where it wasn't so goddamn dark boy.
I was still shivering like a bastard.
And the back of my hair, even though I had my hunting hat on, was sort of full of little hunks of ice.
Oh, this sounds so miserable.
This is so miserable.
That worried me.
I thought probably I get pneumonia and die.
I started picturing millions of jerks coming to my funeral.
And all my grandfather from Detroit that keeps calling out the numbers of the streets where you ride a goddamn bus with him and my aunts, I have about 50 aunts and all my lousy cousins, what a mob there'd be.
They all came when Ally died.
The whole goddamn stupid bunch of them.
I have this one stupid aunt with halitosis that kept saying how peaceful he looked lying there.
DB told me I wasn't there.
I was still in the hospital.
I had to go to the hospital and all after I hurt my hand.
Oh, Holden didn't go to Allie's funeral.
I mean, probably better.
He didn't, honestly, It's a lot for a kid to take in.
No, he'd have to be around all these phonies.
Oh.
So I went in the other room and I found the undertaker and I asked him if he joined me for a drink anyway, I kept worrying that I was getting pneumonia with all those hunks of ice in my hair and that I was going to die.
I felt sorry as hell for my mother and father, especially my mother, because she still isn't over my brother Allie yet.
You know, if he's having that thought, I can't believe that he's doing this to himself.
being so reckless where he could die.
Yeah.
Like, doesn't he love his mother enough to take care of himself? Is that a selfish thing for me to say? 'cause I'm a mom, not even a little.
he is like a, a bus ride to home right now.
Just go sober up.
get yourself a coffee.
You know, if you die tonight, you're gonna ruin your mom's life.
And even though you're drunk, you understand that.
I kept picturing her not knowing what to do with all my suits and athletic equipment and all.
The only thing I knew, she wouldn't let old Phoebe come to my goddamn funeral because she was only a little kid.
That was the only good part.
Then I thought about the whole bunch of them sticking me in a goddamn cemetery and all with my name on this tombstone and all surrounded by dead guys.
Boy, when you're dead, they'll really fix you up.
I hope to hell when I do die, somebody has sense enough to just dump me in the river or something.
Anything except sticking me in a goddamn cemetery.
People coming and putting a bunch of flowers on your stomach on Sunday and all that crap.
Who wants flowers when you're dead? Nobody.
Well, there's a good point.
You know, when I die, I wanna be a, they got this new composted thing where you can be, I know.
About it almost every season, Jennifer wants to, when she's dead, she wants to be put in a cardboard shoe box and put out in a field just be nice to have some mushrooms growing out of, outta me and just fulfilling the, the whole cycle of nature and giving back.
I've taken so much.
God knows we all have.
we're going to a majority of takers versus makers in America.
you know, like when he's imagining all this stuff, people putting flowers on his stomach, do you think he pictures the tombstone that says, old Holden, air lies old Holden.
When the weather's nice, my parents go out quite frequently and stick a bunch of flowers on old Alley's grave.
I went with them a couple of times, but I cut it out in the first place.
I certainly don't enjoy seeing him in that crazy cemetery surrounded by dead guys and tombstones and all.
It wasn't too bad when the sun was out, but twice.
Twice we were there When it started to rain, it was awful.
It rained on his lousy tombstone and it rained on the grass on his stomach.
It rained all over the place.
All the visitors that were visiting the cemetery started running like hell over to their cars.
That's what nearly drove me crazy.
all the visitors could get in their cars and turn on their radios and all, and then go someplace nice for dinner.
Everybody except Ali, I couldn't stand it.
I know it's only his body and all that's in the cemetery and his soul's in heaven and all that crap, but I couldn't stand it anyway.
I just wish he wasn't there.
You didn't know him.
If you'd known him, you'd know what I mean.
It's not too bad when the sun's out, but the sun only comes out when it feels like coming out that's uh, that's so spooky when you think about people out there that are dead.
I think that's why I got my, all my pets cremated.
'cause I want them in the house with me.
I know it's just their bodies or their the remains, but I don't want them buried under the grounds where worms can go in and out of their eyeballs.
It's that ironically, that's what I want to happen to myself though.
after a while, just to get my mind off, getting pneumonia and all, I took out my dough and tried to count it in the lousy light from the street lamp.
All I had was three singles and five quarters and a nickel boy.
I spent a fortune since I left Penn C.
Then what I did, I went down near the lagoon and I sort of skipped the quarters and the nickel across it where it wasn't frozen.
What? You don't have any money.
You have limited money, and now you're skipping the limited money you.
have.
He's being so reckless and he, he's not right in the head.
None of this makes sense.
I don't know why I did it, but I didn't, I guess I thought it'd take my mind off getting pneumonia and dying.
It didn't though.
I started thinking how old Phoebe would feel if I got pneumonia and died.
Yes, Holden, what you should be thinking about.
It was a childish way to think, but I couldn't stop myself.
She'd feel pretty bad if something like that happened.
She likes me a lot.
She's quite fond of me.
She really is.
Anyway, I couldn't get that off my mind.
So finally what I figured I'd do, I figured I'd better sneak home and see her in case I died and all, I had my door key with me and all, and I figured what I'd do.
I'd sneak in the apartment very quiet and all, and just sort of chew the fat with her for a while.
The only thing that worried me was our front door.
It creeks like a bastard.
it's a pretty old apartment house and the superintendent's a lazy bastard and everything creaks and squeaks.
I was afraid my parents might hear me sneaking in, but I decided I'd try it anyhow, so I got the hell out of the park and went home.
Yay.
Finally.
I walked all the way.
It wasn't too far and I wasn't tired or even drunk anymore.
It was just very cold and nobody around anywhere.
End of chapter.
okay.
Before we get into PPP, let's take a couple seconds and read some comments that have come in, emails, comments from people on Spotify.
Some of this is really, uh, right in tune of what we're talking about with, uh, old Holden here.
Shannon commented, I think you're both forgetting what it was like to be a teenager sitting at just over 40.
It's easy to yell at Holden to go to bed.
I'm with you, she said, but he strikes me as deeply lonely.
In an earlier episode Jennifer said she thought he might have a DHD, and I screamed because I had been thinking the same thing.
It's not that he believes these people are phony so much as he's disenfranchised and unsupported.
Also, he's still very much in black, white thinking, so he can't see why he's being so judgy.
Mm.
Mm-hmm.
Chode commented, I'm 71, but there were still families like this when I was growing up.
Children were more like accessories than treasured human beings.
Holden probably doesn't want to go home.
Not for fear of being yelled at or disappointing his parents, but because the next step would be to commit him to a mental institution and throw money at the problem.
Wow.
That is, I was not thinking actually of the time this was written, Yeah.
And wasn't it actually brought up that it was kind of threatened that that's what would happen? Like didn't he say something like that, I don't wanna have to go see a shrink again, or, or it like wasn't, didn't mental institution come up I think maybe it did.
At the beginning of this season, our listener called j Jobb JibJab.
commented, uh, on Spotify.
Ha Well, I guess I can give the catcher and the r another try.
I started it in high school and refused to read more than a few chapters because the main character is a whiny bitch.
Oh my god.
now let's fast forward.
We are now through, uh, chapter, what are we in Chapter 1819.
What, what are we in We just did 20.
Yeah.
Okay.
J jb has now updated.
I've enjoyed listening to you grow sick of Holden's bullshit.
I hated this kid when I read this in high school.
You've gotten further than I did and I still can't stand him.
Oh, no.
Yeah.
Oh Yeah, he is an annoyance.
I, I'll give you that much job.
Job, but I'm pulling for him.
I still want this kid to pull it off.
yeah.
I, I think that's, you know, the people who said it's easy to judge him as a 40-year-old.
I mean, it, it's like.
he's in the time of his life when things are extra confusing.
and he just, I think he just needs somebody, a friend to help him along, you know? he needs that person to, to take him in and, and, uh, wrap them up in a warm blanket.
And I All right, Jennifer, what about J Jobb though? Doesn't j JB deserve some love? You have to admit, Holden does drive you crazy.
Half of the he really does.
It's time for PPP Problematic Points to Ponder.
What, if anything, would be considered ban worthy in this chapter? hopefully he will get home safe in bed.
It seems like though, just even him talking about is he going to even be able to get into his house without his parents waking up and all, who cares if they wake up? Like it doesn't matter.
Like everything is such a monumental struggle.
When you are in this weird mindset Yeah, I think it's, uh, like that one.
Who, who was it who said he's not afraid of his parents? He's afraid of being institutionalized.
Chode that struck me, you know? Yeah.
That is literally holding over your head that that will affect your actions for sure.
Right.
well, I mean that, that ultimately that would be great.
But again, like that might even be more reason to institutionalize him.
If, if he came out and said like, you know, I, you know, I, here I am vulnerable, like.
That's, that would be, I don't know, like, maybe that would happen where they think, oh my God, you're crazy.
No one talks like that.
Wow.
What's wrong with you? And job.
Job, man.
So much negativity.
Robots log thoughts on broken records, skipped quarters, and the one person who makes a kid walk home in the code, he sat at that bar until one in the morning, called Sally Hayes at 1:00 AM and asked her four times if she wanted him to come trimmer.
Christmas tree.
She kept saying, go to bed.
He kept asking.
Jennifer went straight to logistics.
Where is he sleeping tonight? Like a mother watching a kid walk toward a cliff, Dan noticed something harder.
Every person in this chapter almost helped the coat check girl.
The piano player, Sally's grandmother, not one of them, took the next step.
Then Phoebe's record broke 50 pieces on the pavement, the only uncomplicated gift he had for the only person he trust without conditions.
He kept the shards in his coat pocket.
Then he threw his last coins into the lagoon, like someone who stopped believing he'll need money where he's going.
Every adult Holden has reached for in 20 chapters, has let him pass through.
Every hand he extended, came back empty, but a 10-year-old sister he hasn't even seen yet.
The thought of her alone is the thing that makes him stand up off a freezing bench.
Walk home.
The people who ban this book will tell you it's about a bad kid making bad choices.
That is the oversimplified extremely shallow excuse groups like Moms for Liberty make after 10 seasons of analyzing why books actually get banned.
A better reason might be that it's a story about a kid who ran out of adults and a little girl who didn't know she was the last one holding the rope.
But those small-minded ignorant pricks would hate that because it might expose that they are exactly the kind of adults who let a kid pass through.
Standing by for today's news segment with Be Wolf Rocklin.
Woo.
It is time for Band Camp News.
Truth Seeker.
News Speaker Wolf Rocklin.
It's a weird name, but he's got good news because he can't ban the truth band.
He's broadcasting live from the good news for Lefty Studios buried deep inside his socialist safe house hidden somewhere deep in the Oregon woods.
He is Bay Wolf, Rocklin, because you can't be in the truth, babe.
Hello Dan.
Hello Jen.
Hello.
Scary book people.
Well, I've got some good news and it's comes out of a kind of a bad environment, but I'm very glad that this is happening and it's important that it is.
Panamerica, that wonderful organization that supports authors and proposes book bans with support from major publishing houses and literary agencies today announced plans to establish a US author safety program to help protect writers facing harassment and threats.
Driven by a pernicious wave of censorship that is eroding free expression.
Disrupting authors professional lives.
There are more book bands.
There are more threats against authors.
There's more doxing of people who are just trying to exercise their First Amendment rights and put information out there, disseminate important ideas that we all need to learn about and discuss.
And yet they're facing more danger than they ever have before.
And so publishers and Pan America are getting together and training them how to protect themselves.
Oh, wow.
How to be more safe.
They're, they, they have in-person, group, and individual safety consultations, procedures that you can use to kind of check things as you're traveling, things of that nature.
I don't like to, yeah.
Have an environment where that sort of thing is necessary.
But I'm so glad that they're thinking about things like this because we know that authors have been attacked and threatened.
Yeah.
Before Solomon Rushdi had for decades and still has, uh, a fais, uh, against him and was attacked, stabbed within the last few years.
And that was a fais that was put in place, you know? 40 plus years ago, so, yeah.
And remember how you Republicans felt when he got attacked and you said that was stupid.
That should never happen.
Yeah.
Listen up.
You, you guys think you're different.
Yeah.
When one of your like Joe Blow types with a MAGA red hat calls up and leaves a threatening message with, you know, often it's members of Congress or something like that, but it's authors too, and they track them down.
And they threaten their families.
And they terrify them.
Yeah.
I mean that essentially is terrorism.
Wow.
And so they have to have a way to protect themselves.
Seriously.
I don't know why it popped into my head when you said Joe Blow, but I, for some reason I thought of Joe the plumber.
Oh my gosh.
He Now, what happened with that guy? Because that guy seems real.
Yeah.
Now, I'll be honest with you, dealing with this whole crew now, I think, I think he passed away a couple.
A year or two really, or something wild that well then let us be the first to say our condolences to the widow plumber.
Sure.
Everyone, go find good news for lefties wherever you listen to your podcast.
All right.
We've caused enough literary chaos for one day.
Scary book people.
If you want the fun to keep going, follow us on Blue Sky.
Just head on over to bandcamp podcast.com/bluesky.
And remember, that's banned with two ends.
And look just like the Trump administration, we're not exactly above bribing you to get what we want.
So follow us there, drop your handle on that page, and we'll send you a little something something.
I think you'll like it.
Yes.
Little quid pro quo.
Bandcamp is produced and hosted by Dan Schultz and me, Jennifer Davis.
All media used in this episode falls under the protection of fair use, and finally, America isn't what it used to be.
So be careful out there and resist when it matters.