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329. Entitlement - The Disease Destroying Men · The Impossible Life

0:01
Speaker 1: Right. You don't want to live a life of entitlement.
0:04
Speaker 1: It's not a great life. A great life is servant leadership.
0:07
Speaker 1: And so I've said this many times. If you want
0:09
Speaker 1: to live a miserable life, make things all about you.
0:12
Speaker 1: If you want to live a great life, make things
0:14
Speaker 1: all about other people. That's impossible.
0:18
Speaker 2: Let me tell you what I believe. What's your weakness,
0:21
Speaker 2: it's not your technique.
0:25
Speaker 1: Don't think you know you the Impossible Life Podcast. I
0:31
Speaker 1: mean you're sitting on a winning lot of protect an
0:34
Speaker 1: idea that is fully formed, fully understood, that sticks. This
0:40
Speaker 1: is the Impossible Life Podcast because Nick and I are
0:43
Speaker 1: attempting to live impossible lives. What we know is that
0:47
Speaker 1: nothing is impossible. So instead of using impossible as an
0:52
Speaker 1: excuse to not try, we'll use the pursuit of impossible
0:55
Speaker 1: as an accelerant for greatness. If something's never been done before,
1:00
Speaker 1: that just means it's unexplored. If they tell you it's
1:03
Speaker 1: too hard, it's just waiting to be simplified. Impossible as
1:08
Speaker 1: a default label used by uncourageous people unwilling to take
1:12
Speaker 1: a risk. The real truth is this. The solution to
1:16
Speaker 1: any impossible task starts with this question. If I had to,
1:21
Speaker 1: what would it take? What would it take?
1:27
Speaker 2: Welcome to another episode of the Impossible Life Podcast. I'm
1:29
Speaker 2: your co host, Nick Surface, and I'm looking across at
1:31
Speaker 2: a man so obstinate he refuses to be defined by
1:34
Speaker 2: a generational title. That's right, Friends the phone, Garrett Akaback,
1:41
Speaker 2: a man who has refuted the term millennial and simply
1:44
Speaker 2: refers to himself as the future. No notes, simply approved.
1:52
Speaker 2: Not that I was looking for improve anyways, but you know,
1:54
Speaker 2: no notes, no notes. I was I was gonna go
1:56
Speaker 2: like generation, Garrett, but I was like, no, it's a
1:58
Speaker 2: little bit to indulgent.
2:00
Speaker 1: Generation kill.
2:01
Speaker 2: Well, yeah, that would be more accurate. You're not really
2:04
Speaker 2: self indulgent. Uh, you're very objective in many ways. All Right, Gee,
2:10
Speaker 2: today we are going to do our job as the
2:13
Speaker 2: uh AS, as the Council of Freedom and fight against
2:18
Speaker 2: a disease that has infiltrated How much.
2:21
Speaker 1: You love this one? I do. And you've learned a
2:25
Speaker 1: lot from me, huge on this one. Yeah, I'm honestly
2:29
Speaker 1: surprised it took us this long and it wasn't he
2:33
Speaker 1: I said, we're going to talk about this. Yeah, it
2:35
Speaker 1: might have been. I'm surprised. We've made it this many
2:38
Speaker 1: episodes that you didn't say like, hey, we got to
2:40
Speaker 1: do this episode.
2:41
Speaker 2: We we touch on entitlement, but today is like full on,
2:43
Speaker 2: we want to we want to go deep on it,
2:45
Speaker 2: because when you redefine what entitlement is and you realize
2:50
Speaker 2: where it's robbing you in all your different areas. I
2:52
Speaker 2: think the killers are the ones that are subtle, right,
2:55
Speaker 2: It's like the it's the the enemy that you think
2:57
Speaker 2: is your friend is a lot more effective than the
2:58
Speaker 2: one that's coming out saying hey, I'm going to kill you.
3:00
Speaker 2: And this is one of those ones that this is
3:02
Speaker 2: your This is like in this example, this is your neighbor, right,
3:05
Speaker 2: it's the person.
3:05
Speaker 1: Oh man, it's just Jim.
3:06
Speaker 2: What a great guy, puts his trash cans out on time,
3:09
Speaker 2: always says Hi, like drop a basket of cookies around
3:11
Speaker 2: to me, Like you don't realize Jim is a spy
3:13
Speaker 2: that's like literally about to destroy your whole life.
3:16
Speaker 1: Something I said to Nick was, it's gonna be great
3:20
Speaker 1: about this one is this is one that'll destroy you.
3:24
Speaker 1: But there's a lot for us to talk about here
3:27
Speaker 1: because it's not as obvious as some of the other things. Right, Like,
3:30
Speaker 1: one of the things I've said to Nick was, look,
3:31
Speaker 1: if we talk about, you know, one of the obvious
3:34
Speaker 1: things that will destroy men's life, which is adultery and
3:38
Speaker 1: an addictive deep lust. Like every man understand, I don't
3:41
Speaker 1: need we don't need to explain anymore. You know what
3:43
Speaker 1: that is, right, Okay. Also most men can tell you
3:47
Speaker 1: the little things that lead you down that road. Right,
3:50
Speaker 1: It's it just starts with what you think about, starts
3:52
Speaker 1: with what you're looking at on Instagram, and it turns
3:55
Speaker 1: like you just keep going down that road and it
3:58
Speaker 1: ends with adultery, pornography, addiction, and destructive lust. Right, these
4:03
Speaker 1: little things that lead to the bad thing. Well, when
4:05
Speaker 1: we talk about entitlement, people, not everyone can even describe
4:09
Speaker 1: what is the adultery version of entitlement? Yeah, what's the
4:12
Speaker 1: part that'll actually destroy your life? Let alone? What are
4:15
Speaker 1: some of the little clues, some of the little things
4:18
Speaker 1: that don't seem like a big thing that leads you
4:19
Speaker 1: to that major.
4:20
Speaker 2: Right, because some of the examples we're gonna give, I'm
4:22
Speaker 2: just gonna we're gonna talk about the seeds, the small things.
4:24
Speaker 2: We're gonna talk about the process that it grows into
4:27
Speaker 2: and give very common examples of things that I'm gonna
4:29
Speaker 2: go ahead and say, there are one hundred percent people
4:31
Speaker 2: who are listening to this, including myself, who have thought
4:34
Speaker 2: those thoughts and had not identified them as entitlement. And
4:37
Speaker 2: to the points you made, no one's gonna say, hey,
4:39
Speaker 2: so when you watch that that when you were watching porn,
4:41
Speaker 2: was that lust? No, dude, No, that wasn't at all.
4:43
Speaker 1: That was just entertainment.
4:44
Speaker 2: VI Like, no one's ever going to make that argument.
4:46
Speaker 2: But in entitlement, we would have things like that when
4:48
Speaker 2: people would be like, well, that's we can't even agree
4:50
Speaker 2: on the definition. So all that being said, g you
4:53
Speaker 2: lived in the land of entitlement in baby seals, because
4:56
Speaker 2: you know there's you guys had the titlement everywhere.
4:57
Speaker 1: It's like, let's just make as many people passes, like
4:59
Speaker 1: every day is you're not special?
5:01
Speaker 2: Yeah, every day is going to crush every Like.
5:04
Speaker 1: They would actually say that, like you're not special. Yeah,
5:07
Speaker 1: the standard's not going to change. Meet the standard or
5:09
Speaker 1: go away. It is certainly an anti entitlement program.
5:12
Speaker 2: My mom told me I was special, dude, Well, you
5:14
Speaker 2: guys do these fun things called bum They would.
5:16
Speaker 1: Have a response to that that I won't repeat that
5:18
Speaker 1: you can probably guess. Yeah.
5:19
Speaker 2: I mean it's gonna be x rated for sure, and
5:22
Speaker 2: you know, probably not very honoring to my mom anyways,
5:25
Speaker 2: but god, bust my mom. So bunk checks, g these
5:29
Speaker 2: are these? Are I know about this because of you
5:31
Speaker 2: and I did not. I mean there's things I didn't know,
5:35
Speaker 2: like it's in the documentary right, oh but no bunk checks. Yeah,
5:42
Speaker 2: this is uh, this is definitely. What's funny is like
5:47
Speaker 2: some people's entitlement trigger gets hit really hard. OCD people
5:53
Speaker 2: get like busted up here and then I remember a
5:56
Speaker 2: couple officers that like got really mad really exercise and
5:59
Speaker 2: you have to understand what's happening here. Yeah, but there,
6:02
Speaker 2: but it's it's honestly, I would tell you. People say
6:05
Speaker 2: like that's not fair, but it is fair. Let me
6:07
Speaker 2: explain a bunk check.
6:09
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. So if you watch Buds plus two thirty
6:11
Speaker 1: four Discovery Channel documentary, they make you like you have
6:15
Speaker 1: to clean your room to the point like they can't
6:17
Speaker 1: find it. So you say bunk check, but it's really
6:20
Speaker 1: a room check, right, And there's two sets of bunk
6:23
Speaker 1: beds in one room, so four guys in a room
6:25
Speaker 1: the size of like a normal bedrooms. It's not huge,
6:27
Speaker 1: but I mean it has to be spotless. Here's one
6:32
Speaker 1: of the problems. The barracks is literally on the beach, right,
6:36
Speaker 1: I could throw a baseball in the water, you know,
6:38
Speaker 1: you throw a baseball good, good distance. I could throw
6:40
Speaker 1: a basketball in the water. It's it's that close, okay,
6:44
Speaker 1: Like literally, the like the foundation that the barracks is
6:48
Speaker 1: on is right behind the berm. So if you have
6:51
Speaker 1: a like literally a basketball court length from the water, right,
6:57
Speaker 1: So with that amount of like ocean like there's just
7:00
Speaker 1: sand everywhere and on everything. You do everything you can
7:05
Speaker 1: to clean the room. But they come in and just
7:07
Speaker 1: like literally white glove, they'll go to the window seal,
7:10
Speaker 1: they'll go to a spot that you're not looking at.
7:11
Speaker 1: These guys also inspect these rooms all the time, and
7:14
Speaker 1: you know where to look, and they'll just wipe their
7:16
Speaker 1: finger find a little bit of sand. Fail, and your
7:18
Speaker 1: room is in your mind, your room is spotless. Right.
7:23
Speaker 1: But at the same like and you think, like we've
7:25
Speaker 1: done such a good. Do you see all the good
7:26
Speaker 1: that we've done. It's not what I was checking for.
7:28
Speaker 1: I was checking for, did you do anything wrong.
7:30
Speaker 3: Right.
7:30
Speaker 1: I'm not here to see all the things you did, right,
7:32
Speaker 1: I'm here to see did you do anything wrong? Did
7:34
Speaker 1: you make any mistakes? And the truth is it's near
7:37
Speaker 1: impossible to like it does happen, but it is near
7:40
Speaker 1: impossible to not get checked on a room. I think
7:43
Speaker 1: what happens is also instructors. Maybe you're like their seventh
7:46
Speaker 1: room in a row, and something really hilarious happened in
7:49
Speaker 1: the last room, and they know there's an idiot in
7:52
Speaker 1: the next room and they want to go mess with him,
7:53
Speaker 1: and they come in your room and they saw what
7:54
Speaker 1: they needed to see, like whatever past go to the
7:56
Speaker 1: next room. Oh really, every once in a while, So
7:59
Speaker 1: what happens.
8:00
Speaker 2: Let's say that there is something absolutely stupid, like a
8:02
Speaker 2: bed's not made correct, like all the way.
8:05
Speaker 1: Oh well here, or here's the other thing that's not fair.
8:07
Speaker 1: Before before you do not fair, but before you do
8:13
Speaker 1: the barracks inspection, you do PI personal inspection. Right, and
8:18
Speaker 1: if you don't pass personnel inspection, which again they're checking
8:21
Speaker 1: for the tiniest things in your uniform, you don't pass
8:23
Speaker 1: personal inspection. Well, let's get wet and sandy, then report
8:27
Speaker 1: to your room for barracks inspection.
8:28
Speaker 2: So you're dripping sand and they're like, look at your room.
8:30
Speaker 2: So they'll they'll literally hammer you because you just drop
8:33
Speaker 2: sand that they put you in. Yeah, so what do
8:35
Speaker 2: they do to your room? They just flip everything and
8:37
Speaker 2: go nuts or what.
8:38
Speaker 1: Yeah, they'll usually make a mess. They won't destroy like
8:41
Speaker 1: a bunch of personal property, but they'll they'll mess it
8:44
Speaker 1: up and then you have to clean it again. Yeah.
8:47
Speaker 1: And how often are they doing this? I don't remember.
8:50
Speaker 1: I think on week one it's twice a week the
8:53
Speaker 1: first week, and then it's every week like Monday's is pibi.
8:56
Speaker 2: So this is just like anxiety inducing, like because you
8:59
Speaker 2: know you're so for.
9:00
Speaker 1: The for for some of the officers, they're like, no,
9:03
Speaker 1: we did a good job. We should pass.
9:05
Speaker 2: So that they thought that the answer to the problem
9:07
Speaker 2: was to.
9:07
Speaker 1: Argue, yeah, how'd that go? And then some of the
9:09
Speaker 1: guys who were OCD the first one, they're like, okay,
9:13
Speaker 1: like I understand, I'll be better. Yeah for the second one,
9:17
Speaker 1: guys clean the room for like eight hours on Sunday, Wow,
9:21
Speaker 1: like wipe down every surface and then still still fail
9:24
Speaker 1: and it like breaks their brain. You have to have
9:26
Speaker 1: a good sense of humor.
9:29
Speaker 2: You say, good sense of humor. But that's like, okay,
9:31
Speaker 2: so that that's in buds and we don't thank God that,
9:34
Speaker 2: you know. I mean, I wish the holiday and had
9:36
Speaker 2: that level of cleaning or whatever whatever hotels there are,
9:39
Speaker 2: but they're not. And that's like, that's amusing because mostly
9:42
Speaker 2: because I'm not having to go through it, but that
9:44
Speaker 2: there's like zero room for entitlement and what you guys
9:47
Speaker 2: went through because what are they training you for.
9:49
Speaker 1: They're training for war.
9:50
Speaker 2: You can't be like, hey, that's not fair, you guys.
9:52
Speaker 2: You guys have better guns. We didn't know you were
9:54
Speaker 2: coming like stupid stuff that you would never think the
9:56
Speaker 2: same in war. People live their lives all the time,
9:59
Speaker 2: like they can set of rules.
10:00
Speaker 1: I have some more extreme examples, but maybe I won't
10:03
Speaker 1: share those today.
10:04
Speaker 2: Well, I would look forward to hearing them another time. So,
10:07
Speaker 2: as always do, let's dive into entitlement. What's so interesting
10:10
Speaker 2: about this is we went to our beloved Webster's eighteen
10:12
Speaker 2: twenty eight deaths.
10:13
Speaker 1: I knew this would be the case. Yeah, it's it's
10:15
Speaker 1: not in there in the form that we understand the
10:19
Speaker 1: old definition with entitlement. This is exactly you know. So
10:24
Speaker 1: you go to the title company and land gets entitlement.
10:26
Speaker 1: There is paper and documents that follows a piece of dirt.
10:29
Speaker 1: That document says this dirt belongs to this person. It's
10:32
Speaker 1: called entitlement right like to add rights to property or
10:37
Speaker 1: to a person to a sign. And that is the
10:39
Speaker 1: old definition. Now the current definition that we think about
10:43
Speaker 1: is a little bit different. And this is the feeling.
10:46
Speaker 1: And I pulled this from the Cambridge Dictionary. I wouldn't
10:48
Speaker 1: say the modern Cambridge Dictionary is what I would call
10:53
Speaker 1: the most intelligent dictionary. They it is the most I
10:55
Speaker 1: would say the most modern would be the right way
10:57
Speaker 1: to say that the Cambridge Dictionary is the most modern.
10:59
Speaker 1: And here's the definition for entitlement is feeling that you
11:03
Speaker 1: have the right to do, or have right to do
11:06
Speaker 1: or have what you want without having to work for
11:09
Speaker 1: it or deserve it, just because of who you are.
11:14
Speaker 1: And this is let me tell you before we just
11:16
Speaker 1: dive in. Entitlement is a disease that will just ruin
11:21
Speaker 1: your thinking. My dad did a great job of I
11:24
Speaker 1: say beat it out of me, but not really. It
11:26
Speaker 1: was like, really, my dad beat it out of us
11:30
Speaker 1: through his own character and consistency and a couple firm
11:33
Speaker 1: lessons when required. But it's just say we're not that way.
11:35
Speaker 1: We don't have that. My dad and both my parents
11:39
Speaker 1: raised us very well, me and my sister both to understand,
11:42
Speaker 1: like you're not owed stuff right. And the one that
11:44
Speaker 1: my parents would say all the time is it's not fair.
11:46
Speaker 1: Or we'd say it's not fair, and my parents would say, well,
11:48
Speaker 1: life's not fair. Fair is a place you go in
11:50
Speaker 1: the fall in a way you describe the weather like
11:52
Speaker 1: your understanding of fair is not the way that life works.
11:55
Speaker 1: Fair isn't well I tried hard, I should get I
11:58
Speaker 1: should get a treat, or I should get a reward.
12:00
Speaker 1: That's actually not the way life works. Right. The Bible
12:03
Speaker 1: doesn't say the tree that tried really hard produce fruit, right.
12:06
Speaker 1: I said.
12:07
Speaker 2: My kids will say that to me, and I'll say,
12:08
Speaker 2: you know what, you're right, Life's not fair. You were
12:10
Speaker 2: born to a loving family in the most wealthy time
12:13
Speaker 2: in all of America, and you live in a fantastic place.
12:15
Speaker 1: You're so lucky.
12:16
Speaker 2: Life's not fair because what does it do and immediately
12:18
Speaker 2: puts it back and that it goes. Oh man, maybe
12:20
Speaker 2: I should be grateful for what I have rather, folcus
12:22
Speaker 2: on the thing.
12:22
Speaker 1: The Bible says the wages of sin is death. That's
12:24
Speaker 1: your fair right.
12:26
Speaker 2: Dang yeah, and that's harsh. Man Like, that sounds harsh people.
12:29
Speaker 2: I think it's so crazy to hear you talk about
12:32
Speaker 2: the difference between the eighteen twenty eight definition and to now.
12:35
Speaker 2: I like, if you could go back.
12:36
Speaker 1: Well, the spread is really where the problem came from,
12:38
Speaker 1: right exactly, because you go to the old definition, it's like, hey, look,
12:41
Speaker 1: these rights are assigned to this property following this title. Now,
12:46
Speaker 1: today's definition is feeling that you have the right to
12:50
Speaker 1: do or say certain things. And so what it is
12:53
Speaker 1: is you're you are making assumptions of I should have
12:57
Speaker 1: this right old definition, these certain rights follow this title essentially,
13:03
Speaker 1: like this land belongs to me, get off of it.
13:06
Speaker 1: That's rights following title righty. But today people will like,
13:10
Speaker 1: let me give like a cheesy example. Okay, best athlete
13:15
Speaker 1: in school is like, hey, man, you like has an
13:17
Speaker 1: expectation that the history teacher is going to pass him,
13:19
Speaker 1: which you probably did. History teacher is going to pass
13:21
Speaker 1: him on his test because like, hey, I'm the best
13:24
Speaker 1: athlete and they need me on the team. So you
13:25
Speaker 1: should just you know, I know, I know, I'm not
13:28
Speaker 1: good at history, but pass me right and gets mad
13:31
Speaker 1: and throws a fit when the teacher doesn't let him
13:34
Speaker 1: turn in his homework late or whatever at saying I
13:37
Speaker 1: should have these rights because of who I am. But
13:40
Speaker 1: and this is modern entitlement, I should have these rights,
13:43
Speaker 1: but there's actually nothing that owes you those rights.
13:45
Speaker 2: You know what it was really at the root of that,
13:46
Speaker 2: And it just dawned on me while we were talking
13:48
Speaker 2: about this. There's been a shift in authority and the
13:50
Speaker 2: recognition of authority because definitely eighteen twenty eight of entitlement,
13:54
Speaker 2: like I have this land that's based on a legal
13:56
Speaker 2: authority that comes from a governing body that's ultimately been
13:59
Speaker 2: a staufblished, the entitlement goes.
14:01
Speaker 1: It goes pretty far back to I think it's fourteen
14:04
Speaker 1: or fifteen hundreds of English law, where all the land
14:08
Speaker 1: exists underneath the monarchy right, right, and and the king
14:11
Speaker 1: has bestowed the king is the holder of all authority
14:14
Speaker 1: and has bestowed upon you these rights and title with
14:17
Speaker 1: this land.
14:17
Speaker 2: Right and the King of the universe, Jesus has bestowed
14:21
Speaker 2: you know, an assignment to all of us, right and so,
14:23
Speaker 2: but at the root of entitlement is a it's a
14:27
Speaker 2: it's a rebellion against authority. It's I'm the authority now,
14:32
Speaker 2: it's exactly, it's it's very much tree of knowledge of being.
14:35
Speaker 2: I should be able to say what's right and what's wrong. Yeah,
14:38
Speaker 2: And then isn't that like that is like you could
14:40
Speaker 2: you could modern you could say abortion is entitlement, right, yeah, yeah, yeah,
14:44
Speaker 2: because certainly be I mean one hundred percent. I want
14:46
Speaker 2: to be able to do all the things that lead
14:48
Speaker 2: to having a baby, but not have to deal with
14:49
Speaker 2: having a baby.
14:50
Speaker 1: So all, like, there's so many terrible things that come
14:53
Speaker 1: out of entitlement. But where I would say nearly all,
14:56
Speaker 1: if not one hundred percent of the people who listen
14:59
Speaker 1: to this podcast are probably people who would share our
15:01
Speaker 1: view on abortion, I would say not everyone looks at
15:04
Speaker 1: entitlement to say the same way that we do. Correct,
15:07
Speaker 1: But it is that thought process that leads to that, well,
15:09
Speaker 1: I should be able to do this, I should be
15:10
Speaker 1: able to say what's right. That is the disease of entitlement.
15:14
Speaker 1: And in some places, and it's obvious, but there's other
15:16
Speaker 1: places in your life where this mindset of assuming rights
15:21
Speaker 1: that don't actually belong to you is completely robbing you.
15:23
Speaker 1: It's also robbing you. Not only is it robbing you
15:25
Speaker 1: of your Christian character, not only is it robbing you
15:27
Speaker 1: of a life of advancing the kingdom, it's actually robbing
15:30
Speaker 1: One of the worst things that robs you of is
15:31
Speaker 1: your maturity and development. Man, And like entitled, entitled athletes,
15:35
Speaker 1: entitled business, they all they're all terrible.
15:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, there's no there's no like, here's the good
15:40
Speaker 2: side of entitlement.
15:41
Speaker 1: Man, that's the best player in the world. He's so entitled.
15:44
Speaker 1: Nor right, the best athletes are guys like Jordan, very
15:48
Speaker 1: gifted and talented people and acted like they were owed nothing. Right,
15:52
Speaker 1: hardest working person in the room. Yeah, Kobe the same. Right.
15:55
Speaker 1: So now they thought Shaq was entitled.
15:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think I think you could make a not
16:00
Speaker 2: that that's the point of this podcast. Great, but yeah,
16:02
Speaker 2: but you could. But listen to everything that you said,
16:05
Speaker 2: because I always want to highlight the practicals for people.
16:07
Speaker 2: Anytime a sentence starts with I should, I hope that
16:11
Speaker 2: that becomes a red light for you because one of
16:13
Speaker 2: the ways where it's been a blessing to be around
16:15
Speaker 2: you and my own growth of realizing what entitlement is
16:17
Speaker 2: is I started to become aware of like, oh, before
16:20
Speaker 2: this was just normal, and now I'm realizing that's actually
16:22
Speaker 2: the thing that's hurting me. So like this is red
16:24
Speaker 2: lights of awareness. Once you say like I should like
16:27
Speaker 2: I should have, or it should like should is a
16:30
Speaker 2: massive assumption because you are basically appealing to some level
16:33
Speaker 2: of expectation that you have saying this is right, and man,
16:36
Speaker 2: you better be right if it's If it's not based
16:38
Speaker 2: on the word of God, you're going to be in trouble.
16:40
Speaker 1: It's another practical example, and those of you who live
16:45
Speaker 1: in a real estate or banking or finance world will
16:48
Speaker 1: understand this. Entitlement is similar to like a bank. You know,
16:51
Speaker 1: a bank will loan you something, and the bank takes
16:54
Speaker 1: first position on a piece of property. And you know what,
16:56
Speaker 1: the bank says, me first, Right, I get paid first.
17:00
Speaker 1: Is this attitude where it's all like the bank's job
17:03
Speaker 1: is to get its money back and to make a
17:05
Speaker 1: return on the money. Okay, when we get entitled, we
17:08
Speaker 1: start doing the same thing. You take a relationship, you
17:11
Speaker 1: take an opportunity, and you put first position on that
17:15
Speaker 1: on that relationship, on that property or whatever the thing is,
17:18
Speaker 1: and say I have to I don't care if this
17:21
Speaker 1: thing succeeds, Like the bank doesn't care if your business succeeds.
17:24
Speaker 1: The bank says, I get paid first. Right, that's your problem. Yeah, okay,
17:28
Speaker 1: And entitlement is that attitude where in a situation or
17:31
Speaker 1: a relationship, whatever it is, you say I get paid first.
17:33
Speaker 1: And sometimes it's not necessarily monetary currency, but you're saying
17:37
Speaker 1: I get paid first. What happens with this situation I
17:39
Speaker 1: don't really care about.
17:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's what you said. Is it's short
17:44
Speaker 2: term thinking. I mean what you just said about, like
17:45
Speaker 2: I want what's ode to me now? You said that
17:47
Speaker 2: was like level one entitlement. Yeah, and unfortunately this can grow,
17:51
Speaker 2: but like it's it's short term, short term disease.
17:53
Speaker 1: I want what's so to me now? Is level one?
17:55
Speaker 1: Level two entitlement used to be right. Entitlement used to
17:59
Speaker 1: be like I have these rights and these rights have
18:01
Speaker 1: been violated, right, and you would bring a claim. Right,
18:04
Speaker 1: it's like, hey, this dude built his fence over on
18:06
Speaker 1: my property. This is my property. Right, that's an entitled
18:08
Speaker 1: that's by definition, by old definition, that's an entitlement problem,
18:13
Speaker 1: and the judge is going to get it surveyed and say, yeah,
18:15
Speaker 1: like get yourself off of his property. Right. But today
18:19
Speaker 1: that's like level one entitlement rights have been violated. But
18:23
Speaker 1: really the entitlement that is modern definition and where people
18:26
Speaker 1: are struggling and ruining their lives and ruining systems today
18:30
Speaker 1: is you don't have these rights. You've made an assumption
18:33
Speaker 1: that these rights should belong to you, and you're trying
18:36
Speaker 1: to make a claim for them.
18:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, think about that. You believe what's that you're owde
18:41
Speaker 2: was not actually owed to you. That's like level two.
18:43
Speaker 2: That's what you said when we when we were preparing.
18:45
Speaker 2: That's level two entitlement. That's like what it can grow
18:47
Speaker 2: into is not just I want what's mine, like I'm
18:50
Speaker 2: gonna get mine, which is a very much an athlete
18:51
Speaker 2: you know, you hear that all the time in the NFL, like, oh,
18:53
Speaker 2: he got paid. Who cares if he like talked bad
18:55
Speaker 2: and left the team and all that sort of stuff,
18:57
Speaker 2: But he got paid. What about if you're like, I
19:00
Speaker 2: should be paid, Like it's the WNBA. Like level two
19:03
Speaker 2: entitlement is basically the WNBA don't give me, we make
19:06
Speaker 2: no money, but actually we should be paid like the
19:08
Speaker 2: other guys. Sorry, Nope, you can't say that you are
19:11
Speaker 2: owed what's not actually owed to you.
19:13
Speaker 1: There we go.
19:14
Speaker 2: We just just use two great sports examples. Okay, So
19:16
Speaker 2: the opposite of entitlement g which is really where we
19:19
Speaker 2: want people to grow to. This is the mature thought process.
19:22
Speaker 2: This is Christ's attitude. Man, This is Philippians two two
19:26
Speaker 2: through eight.
19:26
Speaker 1: Read it.
19:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to it. Then make my joy complete.
19:29
Speaker 2: This is Paul talking to the Philippians. By being like minded,
19:31
Speaker 2: having the same love, being one in spirit of one mind,
19:34
Speaker 2: do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather,
19:39
Speaker 2: in humility, value others above yourselves, not looking to your
19:43
Speaker 2: own interests, but each of you to the interests of
19:45
Speaker 2: the others in your relationships with one another. Had the
19:47
Speaker 2: same mindset as Christ. Jesus, who, being in very nature God,
19:52
Speaker 2: did not consider equality with God something to be used
19:55
Speaker 2: to his own advantage. Rather, he made himself nothing by
19:58
Speaker 2: taking the very nature of a servant, being made in
20:00
Speaker 2: human likeness and being found in appearance as a man.
20:03
Speaker 2: He humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death
20:07
Speaker 2: on a cross. Man there's zero entitlement in that.
20:11
Speaker 1: That's the opposite of entitlement. And so let me build
20:13
Speaker 1: off of this to give the opposite of entitlement. And
20:17
Speaker 1: there's really two key takeaways I want you to have
20:20
Speaker 1: today listening to this episode. One is that you clearly
20:23
Speaker 1: understand what entitlement is and it's the definition of it
20:27
Speaker 1: is more severe than maybe you would have thought, so
20:30
Speaker 1: that you clearly understand all the things that are entitlement.
20:33
Speaker 1: And then second takeaway I want you to have and
20:35
Speaker 1: this is what we're going to build you here in
20:36
Speaker 1: a few minutes. Second takeaway I want you to have
20:38
Speaker 1: is what some of these things look like in their
20:41
Speaker 1: littlest form where you don't realize you're allowing entitlement to
20:45
Speaker 1: grow in your garden.
20:46
Speaker 2: Right.
20:47
Speaker 1: Okay, so Christ in that scripture is the opposite of entitlement.
20:52
Speaker 1: Let me say entitlement a different way. Entitlement is assuming
20:57
Speaker 1: or claiming rights for your own benefit. Okay, Now, what
21:02
Speaker 1: did Christ do in this scripture? Did not consider equality
21:07
Speaker 1: with God something to be used to his own advantage.
21:11
Speaker 1: That's the opposite of entitlement. Entitlement is assuming or claiming
21:15
Speaker 1: rights for your own benefit. What is the opposite of entitlement. Well,
21:18
Speaker 1: this is servant leadership. To give up rights that you
21:21
Speaker 1: have for the benefit of others. And so this is
21:26
Speaker 1: a zero in one situation. This is a black and
21:28
Speaker 1: white you. You're either living in every action that you take.
21:32
Speaker 1: You're either living and operating in an entitlement mode or
21:37
Speaker 1: and this is loocifer. By the way, well, why can't
21:39
Speaker 1: I say what's right? Why can't it be about me?
21:41
Speaker 1: Why can't I be God right? Trying to take things
21:45
Speaker 1: for your own benefit, running from pain, running towards pleasure.
21:48
Speaker 1: This is all entitlement thinking. Or you can live in
21:51
Speaker 1: servant leadership, which is this is what it means to
21:54
Speaker 1: be christ Like exactly what Christ demonstrated. Did not consider
21:57
Speaker 1: equality with God something to be used to his own advantage.
22:00
Speaker 1: He made himself nothing by taking the very nature of
22:03
Speaker 1: a servant, being made in human likeness and being found
22:05
Speaker 1: in appearance as a man. He humbled himself by becoming
22:09
Speaker 1: obedient to death, even death on a cross. Just instead
22:12
Speaker 1: of making it about you taking rights and claims for
22:15
Speaker 1: yourself to serve you, you take the rights that you
22:18
Speaker 1: have and you give them up to serve other people.
22:20
Speaker 1: This is servant leadership. This is the opposite of entitlement.
22:23
Speaker 1: And in all your actions and in all your thinking,
22:26
Speaker 1: you're doing one or the other. Right now, I will
22:29
Speaker 1: tell you entitlement is not sinful. That like actual definition
22:35
Speaker 1: one entitlement to have your land, that's not sinful, right, okay,
22:40
Speaker 1: but it is not always what's best. Right if you
22:43
Speaker 1: have food and water and it belongs to you and
22:46
Speaker 1: you're hungry and you consume that, that is not a
22:49
Speaker 1: sin right for sure, But sometimes there's an opportunity to give,
22:54
Speaker 1: to be generous. And this is where our minds should
22:56
Speaker 1: always be. I have a home that my family lives in.
22:59
Speaker 1: Don't come in here unless you've been asked. You'll pay
23:02
Speaker 1: a terrible price. You're not going to find a heart
23:06
Speaker 1: of servant leadership at three am when you come through
23:08
Speaker 1: my door, right right. That is not sinful. Also, by
23:11
Speaker 1: the way, that's biblical. Me and my buddy Ethan did
23:15
Speaker 1: an episode on that. We've talked about that here on
23:17
Speaker 1: the podcast. Really where self defense rights exist from a
23:20
Speaker 1: biblical perspective. But the point that I'm making is that
23:23
Speaker 1: it's not sinful, but it's also not what's best you
23:26
Speaker 1: should seek. And this is why this is why men
23:29
Speaker 1: should be strong. The stronger you are, the easier it
23:33
Speaker 1: is for you to give, for easier history, to have
23:35
Speaker 1: a heart of servant leadership. Those who are weak will
23:38
Speaker 1: always be the ones who are more entitled. I don't
23:41
Speaker 1: even need to name names if we just talk about culture.
23:44
Speaker 1: I mean, look at issues in culture. Who are the
23:46
Speaker 1: people that are entitled? These are the people who are
23:49
Speaker 1: really coming from a poor place.
23:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I mean that's and remember we did an
23:53
Speaker 2: episode on strength, and we made it so simple. Strong
23:56
Speaker 2: is I move the object? Weak is the object moves me?
24:00
Speaker 2: Very very simple definition about all the things that can
24:02
Speaker 2: push in on you right for for a strong week,
24:04
Speaker 2: and I can.
24:05
Speaker 1: I wish I knew the title. Some more differences between
24:09
Speaker 1: the two. Entitlement very me focused, very transaction focused, very
24:14
Speaker 1: short term focused. Okay, let me give you a great
24:17
Speaker 1: example of where this wins in business. I've done this,
24:21
Speaker 1: I'm doing this now. I'm going to live this for
24:23
Speaker 1: the rest of my life. Okay. The guy who gets
24:26
Speaker 1: paid first, by the way, or say the bank, they're
24:29
Speaker 1: gonna make depending on what kind of credit you have
24:32
Speaker 1: and what sort of institution, anywhere from eight to twenty
24:34
Speaker 1: percent return on getting paid first. Now the people who
24:39
Speaker 1: get paid last, they can make two x three x
24:42
Speaker 1: four x massive multiples on their money because they have
24:46
Speaker 1: the mindset of, Okay, I'll just keep fixing the broken
24:50
Speaker 1: things and then there will be a great reward. Right,
24:53
Speaker 1: I'm going to give up. I could demand I get
24:55
Speaker 1: paid here, I won't. I'm going to keep working. I'm
24:58
Speaker 1: going to keep fixing this thing, and it really produces fruit.
25:01
Speaker 1: The entitlement version says, I don't care if this produces fruit,
25:04
Speaker 1: just pay me now.
25:05
Speaker 2: Right, by the way, that's episode one seventy five. I
25:07
Speaker 2: was looking up that where we redefine strength. It's worth
25:10
Speaker 2: listening to that. I think it would pair nicely with
25:12
Speaker 2: this reference. So, like you said, when we fix a
25:15
Speaker 2: broken system, we'll all reap the reward. And it's such
25:19
Speaker 2: a simple thing, but it really, like I said, the
25:22
Speaker 2: short term, long term, like I hope you're starting to
25:23
Speaker 2: get a few filters, a few like flashing red lights,
25:26
Speaker 2: because there's subtle seeds that starts this.
25:30
Speaker 1: And I just want to reiterate it again so that
25:32
Speaker 1: it's clear a starving person asking for food, even begging
25:37
Speaker 1: or demanding someone feed them, that's not sinful. It's just
25:40
Speaker 1: not where you want to be right, right, The whole
25:43
Speaker 1: point of this podcast this is not judgment podcast. This
25:47
Speaker 1: is not tell everybody else who they're wrong. This isn't
25:49
Speaker 1: where you know, there's a lot of podcasts out there
25:52
Speaker 1: that talk about, hey, we're a great Christian podcast for men,
25:55
Speaker 1: and go listen to their podcasts and they talk about
25:56
Speaker 1: all the other Christian leaders who aren't doing a good job. Right, Okay,
25:59
Speaker 1: maybe check your view of what you think is constructive
26:02
Speaker 1: for sure, help people be great. I could do that.
26:05
Speaker 1: I have a lot of strong opinions on other Christian leaders.
26:09
Speaker 1: That's I don't think it's helpful. It's not it's certainly
26:11
Speaker 1: not helping people grow. And it's me saying I'm better
26:13
Speaker 1: than those people. I don't ever want to be that guy,
26:16
Speaker 1: So I say that to say, what we're not trying
26:18
Speaker 1: to say is like, oh, entitlement is wrong, it's evil,
26:20
Speaker 1: it's sinful. There's certainly a version of it that is
26:23
Speaker 1: very selfish and prideful. But more so, what we're saying
26:26
Speaker 1: is you should seek to live in servant leadership as
26:28
Speaker 1: much as you can. It's what's going to get the
26:31
Speaker 1: greatest outcomes. It's what glorifies God. Okay, like when you
26:35
Speaker 1: feed a starving person, that glorifies God. The starving person
26:40
Speaker 1: getting fed. That that person's life is not glory, right,
26:45
Speaker 1: Jesus said, the poor will always be among you. I
26:47
Speaker 1: won't always be There's always going to be someone who
26:49
Speaker 1: needs to feed those people. But the glory is the
26:51
Speaker 1: person who gets the opportunity to give to a starving person.
26:54
Speaker 1: And that's where we should seek to be. We're not
26:57
Speaker 1: we're not beating up starving people for starving. What we're
26:59
Speaker 1: saying is I want to live. I want to be
27:01
Speaker 1: the person who can help other people. And when you
27:05
Speaker 1: live entitled, you're not getting stronger because hopefully and this
27:09
Speaker 1: is look, you can have different opinions on it. This
27:11
Speaker 1: is also the life of a homeless person. Okay, you
27:14
Speaker 1: can focus all on well, let's just help get this
27:17
Speaker 1: person what they need. Yes, feed the starving person. However,
27:21
Speaker 1: teach a man to fish, right, Okay, and so the
27:24
Speaker 1: greatest thing for that, if you really want what's best,
27:28
Speaker 1: you'll approach this person and say, how do we get
27:31
Speaker 1: you to a place where you can take care of yourself.
27:33
Speaker 1: That's what's best for them and what's best for society.
27:36
Speaker 1: If you have vanity in your heart and you want
27:38
Speaker 1: to continue to get photographed feeding homeless people, but never
27:41
Speaker 1: fix the problem, and also think about how you can
27:44
Speaker 1: make a bunch of money off of it. California, I'm working.
27:47
Speaker 1: I'm okay with calling out states. Then that's what you
27:50
Speaker 1: would focus on. But what again, the point I'm making
27:55
Speaker 1: in all this is that the focus should be how
27:57
Speaker 1: do I get to servant leadership? And is I want
27:59
Speaker 1: to be my best? Is I want to grow? I
28:01
Speaker 1: want to remove as much entitlement from my life as possible.
28:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, what you're giving is a mature thought process. And like,
28:07
Speaker 2: we exist to help train and grow and develop men.
28:11
Speaker 2: That's that's why we're here. It's the mission of that
28:13
Speaker 2: that fits into our vision and or serves our vision,
28:16
Speaker 2: I should say. And so a big part of that
28:18
Speaker 2: is bringing people to maturity. So when we talk about entitlement,
28:21
Speaker 2: if you're going, oh man, and that's hitting you and
28:23
Speaker 2: you're going like, well, I could never live up to there,
28:25
Speaker 2: you feel look wherever you're at, do what you know
28:27
Speaker 2: to do right because you're gonna have it. You and
28:30
Speaker 2: I are not fully mature people, believe it or not.
28:32
Speaker 2: We have more mature and more growing.
28:34
Speaker 1: I'm a strong man who wants to be a stronger man.
28:36
Speaker 1: And if you listen to this podcast, you're probably a
28:38
Speaker 1: strong man who wants to be a stronger man or
28:39
Speaker 1: a man who wants to be a strong man. And
28:41
Speaker 1: if either of those are the case, what I'm saying
28:43
Speaker 1: is you should remove as much entitlement from your life
28:45
Speaker 1: as hundred percent.
28:46
Speaker 2: Because here's the subtle seeds, And we said, anything is
28:49
Speaker 2: entitlement that's not you moving from a position of strength
28:52
Speaker 2: to serve other people. So that's if it's anything that's
28:55
Speaker 2: not strength member strength moves the object rather than being
28:58
Speaker 2: moved by it to serve other people, that's entitled.
29:01
Speaker 1: If you are not giving and serving other people, Okay,
29:05
Speaker 1: that's one. If you're complaining and asking for something, you're entitled.
29:10
Speaker 2: Right, yeah, I mean, you know it's so crazy.
29:13
Speaker 1: G even just think about it from this perspective. Okay,
29:16
Speaker 1: let me just be extreme in the sense of an
29:20
Speaker 1: entitlement problem. Okay, God doesn't have an entitlement problem. No
29:24
Speaker 1: one can encroach on God. God doesn't need rights given
29:27
Speaker 1: to him by somebody else. God. The only thing that's
29:30
Speaker 1: taken from God is what he allows, right, Okay, even
29:33
Speaker 1: in the context of hey, I have rights that are
29:35
Speaker 1: assigned to me by this title. What are you having
29:37
Speaker 1: to do? You're having to appeal to authority. Hey, this
29:40
Speaker 1: guy built his stuff on my land. If you were God,
29:44
Speaker 1: you just say that you can't do that, right, and
29:46
Speaker 1: you would fix it. Right. It's all the more strength
29:50
Speaker 1: you have, the less you have to deal with entitlement, right.
29:53
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that's exactly I mean, I never really thought
29:56
Speaker 2: about it in this life. The gee's temptations are so
29:59
Speaker 2: interesting to because there's so much you can pick out
30:01
Speaker 2: from the devil tempting. And we see it three times
30:03
Speaker 2: a scripture where like the devil is literally speaking to
30:06
Speaker 2: somebody and so it's Adam and Eve Jesus, I said
30:09
Speaker 2: three times because it's in Matthew and Luke. But yeah,
30:11
Speaker 2: Jesus and Adam and Eve, and you see him, like,
30:14
Speaker 2: what does he do? He's basically tempting Jesus to use
30:17
Speaker 2: his own authority and power for his own needs. Yeah,
30:20
Speaker 2: which a lot of us will be like, dude, you're
30:22
Speaker 2: hungry stones to bread like it, what's the big deal? Well,
30:24
Speaker 2: you would think that's not a sin, correct, And that's
30:27
Speaker 2: how he tempted him if he's a son of God.
30:29
Speaker 2: So it was identity based, but it was also just
30:31
Speaker 2: do this for yourself. It was such a small, subtle seed.
30:34
Speaker 2: Same thing with protection, Hey, throw.
30:35
Speaker 1: Yourself because he knew what Christ really came to do
30:39
Speaker 1: was to give up his rights for the benefit of others.
30:41
Speaker 1: And if he could get him going down, if he
30:44
Speaker 1: could get Christ going down the road of use your
30:46
Speaker 1: strength for you, yeah, he knew it would take him
30:48
Speaker 1: away from the cross.
30:49
Speaker 2: Right, it's and really capture what you said, because this
30:52
Speaker 2: is what we're talking about. It starts with seeds. Here's
30:54
Speaker 2: a few simple seeds.
30:55
Speaker 1: Blame.
30:57
Speaker 2: Really, I mean, how often are we going like, yeah,
30:58
Speaker 2: but it's this all the time my kids, I go, hey,
31:01
Speaker 2: clean clean.
31:02
Speaker 1: Up that mess.
31:02
Speaker 2: But I didn't make it, like I didn't ask you
31:04
Speaker 2: if I made That's not that I said clean that up.
31:07
Speaker 1: You live here, make it better. You don't have a
31:09
Speaker 1: lot of strength, but you have a little hands, right,
31:11
Speaker 1: so yeah, you can get in there. Put on.
31:13
Speaker 2: Yeah, let's go another one. And this is such a
31:15
Speaker 2: subtle one. I put it down as estimation. G what
31:18
Speaker 2: this is. This is us determining how long something should take,
31:22
Speaker 2: what something's worth or the price I should have to pay.
31:25
Speaker 1: That's when it eats people all the time, all the time.
31:27
Speaker 2: I've been working really hard, Garrett. You you don't know
31:30
Speaker 2: what I've done. Yeah, like I thought it was gonna
31:32
Speaker 2: it shouldn't it.
31:34
Speaker 1: This is an inherent human quality. Yep. Okay. The thing
31:38
Speaker 1: about real estate is everyone thinks their real estate is
31:40
Speaker 1: worth more than it is. Bro my house is worth
31:41
Speaker 1: ten million dollars. This is. This is the rules of
31:44
Speaker 1: real estate. Anytime somebody's selling a property, they think they
31:47
Speaker 1: get you know, they bring you the comps, they show
31:49
Speaker 1: you the best of market, but the market says otherwise. Right.
31:53
Speaker 1: This is we do the same thing with any product
31:56
Speaker 1: that we've developed, any words that come out of our mouth.
31:59
Speaker 1: It's like you should have taken the highest and best
32:01
Speaker 1: value of what I said, and that's just not reality.
32:05
Speaker 1: We overestimate our efforts all the time. We overestimate our
32:11
Speaker 1: value all the time. You've got to be someone who
32:13
Speaker 1: instead trying to claim or right say I'm going to
32:16
Speaker 1: over deliver. I'm going to give more than what it's
32:19
Speaker 1: worth and let them pay market price even though I
32:23
Speaker 1: over delivered. You'll find that you have a lot of customers.
32:26
Speaker 2: No kidding, And you know, like, because we're talking so
32:28
Speaker 2: much about the dangers of this. If the root of
32:31
Speaker 2: this is rebelliousness towards authority and it's based in sin
32:34
Speaker 2: and pride, when is when is uh? When is selfishness
32:37
Speaker 2: ever satisfied?
32:38
Speaker 1: G It takes you. Selfishness is the same as running
32:44
Speaker 1: from pain, right, Okay, if you run from pain, people
32:47
Speaker 1: who quit running, walking gets hard for them. And then
32:51
Speaker 1: when you quit walking, like just sitting up, like it
32:54
Speaker 1: gets hard for you. The more you run from what's right,
32:57
Speaker 1: the harder it is. Yep, yeah, one hundred percent. Man.
33:01
Speaker 2: So, so going back to our small seeds, so blame estimation, recognition.
33:05
Speaker 2: It's you know, it'd be nice if someone would just
33:08
Speaker 2: I did this, and I've been doing this for this
33:10
Speaker 2: long and no one sees this, you know, and like
33:12
Speaker 2: we're all we can all fall into this, right, every
33:15
Speaker 2: single person. Sometimes you're like, man, I've been doing this
33:18
Speaker 2: for a long time and like I don't even think
33:19
Speaker 2: people even care. I should just stop doing it, right, Like,
33:21
Speaker 2: these are normal thoughts that come up, and you need
33:24
Speaker 2: to see these for what they are. These will destroy you.
33:26
Speaker 1: Jesus wasn't crying and complaining that even the people he
33:30
Speaker 1: was closest to weren't there in his most difficult moment. Right,
33:34
Speaker 1: he says, I'm not here for that, right, I'm here
33:36
Speaker 1: to serve. I'm here to help. And you know what,
33:38
Speaker 1: when I finish this work, then you'll see and I'll
33:41
Speaker 1: be so happy that you finally saw it. Yeah. And
33:44
Speaker 1: this is this is because he doesn't look at the
33:46
Speaker 1: recognitions not for him. Right, doesn't have an identity problem. Right,
33:49
Speaker 1: he doesn't have a value problem, but he knows what
33:51
Speaker 1: he's worth. He's like, I'm here to give you my value.
33:54
Speaker 1: And I've been telling you how great a summer peach is.
33:57
Speaker 1: But when you finally taste it, then you'll tell me
33:59
Speaker 1: and I'll be glad that you finally get it. Yeah.
34:01
Speaker 2: And then this is one that's a little bit more
34:03
Speaker 2: of a mature seed. But I would say, it's your rights.
34:06
Speaker 2: And like Garrett said, it's not like hey burst into
34:08
Speaker 2: my house because I'm just I have no rights, and
34:10
Speaker 2: I'm gonna that's not what we're saying. But think about
34:12
Speaker 2: what Paul said. Am I not an apostle? Do I
34:14
Speaker 2: not have a right? He was saying, I have a
34:16
Speaker 2: right to demand.
34:17
Speaker 1: The scripture I use from Meiami yester day, Yeah, me
34:20
Speaker 1: andmih as the governor. He's like, I could have demanded
34:23
Speaker 1: forty shekels from each of it, but instead I had
34:25
Speaker 1: one hundred and fifty people in my house every day
34:27
Speaker 1: and I fed all of them. Right.
34:28
Speaker 2: And so the the mature subtle that you have to
34:31
Speaker 2: be careful of is that you have your rights. I mean,
34:34
Speaker 2: Pastor Keith talks about you give up your right to
34:36
Speaker 2: be right, and that's like, that's whenever it's like, you
34:39
Speaker 2: know what, I'm not trying to win an argument, I'm
34:41
Speaker 2: trying to get the right.
34:42
Speaker 1: And I love the verse at the end of Niami five,
34:45
Speaker 1: after Niamiah says all that he is, he's asking God
34:48
Speaker 1: for a little bit of recognition. When he says all
34:51
Speaker 1: of that, he says, I've done all these things, and
34:52
Speaker 1: I could have demanded this, and he says, or that
34:54
Speaker 1: you would see this and have.
34:55
Speaker 2: Favor on your But you know what, I don't.
34:57
Speaker 1: I think that that's the right heart.
34:59
Speaker 2: That's exactly right. I wanting recognition from God is the
35:02
Speaker 2: right recognition. And because that's that's where I would say,
35:04
Speaker 2: that's one place where you're like, yeah, seek that recognition
35:07
Speaker 2: because if Paul laid down him, it's not a demand either, correct,
35:10
Speaker 2: it's oh Lord that you would right, because you have
35:12
Speaker 2: the understanding of authority. I can't demand anything from God like,
35:16
Speaker 2: good luck with that. You can try, yeah, good luck
35:18
Speaker 2: with that. So we're gonna give some exact examples of
35:20
Speaker 2: these fully developed I shouldn't say developed, but fully grown
35:24
Speaker 2: of wrong seeds. But listen to how this progresses ge
35:28
Speaker 2: And then I think if we had to sum up
35:29
Speaker 2: everything we said, remember we said that the seeds are
35:31
Speaker 2: blame estimation recognition rights.
35:33
Speaker 1: Because in entitlement in its fullest form, it robs you
35:37
Speaker 1: of your growth. Yeah you, It destroys relationships, It destroys
35:41
Speaker 1: opportunities or even in a business business example, maybe you
35:47
Speaker 1: only get ten percent where you could have had double
35:49
Speaker 1: or triple. Yeah yeah, and you will never know it.
35:52
Speaker 2: That's the thing that would that's the thing that should
35:54
Speaker 2: as somebody who's hungry should eat you. But if I
35:56
Speaker 2: had to sum it up, it's expectation. That's I mean,
35:58
Speaker 2: if we had to just go, like, look, let's real simple.
36:00
Speaker 2: You start out with some expectations, and what that is
36:04
Speaker 2: they should.
36:04
Speaker 1: I've had this conversation with my wife and with people
36:07
Speaker 1: i'm close to. Often, wherever they get frustrated, I'm like, look,
36:12
Speaker 1: lower your expectation. Well, is that in that just like
36:14
Speaker 1: letting people off the hook. No, that's not what I mean.
36:17
Speaker 1: I mean you're wanting them to get better, right, you
36:20
Speaker 1: make it better?
36:21
Speaker 3: Right?
36:22
Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's what.
36:23
Speaker 2: So it starts off with they should and then what
36:24
Speaker 2: does that progress to disappointment? Well, they should have done
36:27
Speaker 2: this and they didn't, so then it's resentment and that's
36:30
Speaker 2: not fair. Who do they think they are? And then
36:32
Speaker 2: it goes to withdrawal. Well, you know what, if they're
36:34
Speaker 2: going to be like that, then I'm just not going
36:35
Speaker 2: to even talk to them. I don't want to be
36:36
Speaker 2: around them. I'm not going to serve. And then it's
36:38
Speaker 2: like because they don't deserve my best. Now you've justified
36:41
Speaker 2: but all of it.
36:42
Speaker 1: This is so good. I'm going to just repeat it
36:44
Speaker 1: so that we go slower through this because like this
36:47
Speaker 1: is such the core of what people go through. Yeah,
36:51
Speaker 1: you have this expectation. Why why is the situation not
36:53
Speaker 1: this way? Why isn't it better? Why are these people
36:55
Speaker 1: so dumb? How do they not understand? Like what right
36:59
Speaker 1: is feel that sometimes no, yeah, and then you and
37:03
Speaker 1: then it comes from turns from expectation into disappointment, which
37:07
Speaker 1: really looks like you start to devalue those people, right,
37:11
Speaker 1: that's really what disappointment is. Disappointment one time is like, man,
37:14
Speaker 1: I'm upset people disappoint you multiple times in a row.
37:17
Speaker 1: It's like, no, you're not a good person, you're not
37:19
Speaker 1: a good leader, you're not a good friend, you're not
37:21
Speaker 1: you're not a good whatever. And then that turns into resentment,
37:25
Speaker 1: which is, I don't like those people they're but like you.
37:29
Speaker 1: A thought turns into a statement, which turns into withdrawal,
37:33
Speaker 1: which is, fine, I'm not even gonna be around you.
37:35
Speaker 1: You guys are I've already determined what your character is
37:39
Speaker 1: and you guys are not great. And then finally it's justification.
37:45
Speaker 1: They don't deserve me, they're not good enough for me,
37:48
Speaker 1: or you know, you you talk back to people, you
37:50
Speaker 1: talk bad about people, you leave situations, you burn bridges,
37:53
Speaker 1: and you feel.
37:53
Speaker 2: Justified in doing it. Yeah, I mean that's that's and
37:56
Speaker 2: how many people are walking around that is and that
37:59
Speaker 2: carecharacter and that progression of entitlement. It's the opposite of
38:03
Speaker 2: servant leadership. Servant leadership is I'm here to help this
38:06
Speaker 2: place be better.
38:07
Speaker 1: Yeah.
38:08
Speaker 2: Man, I can think of so many different examples that
38:10
Speaker 2: would not really be helpful to everybody, but we I
38:14
Speaker 2: just want to highlight this again, Gary and I are
38:16
Speaker 2: not sitting on the perfect servant leadership throne casting judgment
38:21
Speaker 2: on all the entitlement. This is all of us.
38:23
Speaker 1: Sometimes you can't, and I get it. That's why I
38:26
Speaker 1: called it out. My expectation is not that everyone sacrificed
38:30
Speaker 1: themselves at all times for all things. However, have the
38:34
Speaker 1: understanding of what entitlement's doing, and look to be someone
38:38
Speaker 1: who's a servant leader in every situation of saying, how
38:40
Speaker 1: can I bless this place? How can I bless other people?
38:43
Speaker 1: How can I take these problems and make them better? Yeah?
38:46
Speaker 2: So, I'm sure we've all got examples in our head
38:47
Speaker 2: right now as we're listening of entitlement, and I'm guessing,
38:50
Speaker 2: let's just be honest, a lot of people are probably
38:51
Speaker 2: thinking about other people they know, So let's go ahead,
38:54
Speaker 2: of course, not me, not me, I'm not the man
38:57
Speaker 2: these blue hairs on Instagram. Yeah, so let's look at
39:01
Speaker 2: some exact exactly, some very ones that we can all
39:03
Speaker 2: relate to g How about this one. I expect a
39:05
Speaker 2: promotion because I've been here for this amount of time.
39:08
Speaker 2: I've been here for seven years. How am I not
39:12
Speaker 2: this like VP or executive VP. I need to be senior?
39:15
Speaker 1: This what have I been doing?
39:17
Speaker 2: These guys are idiots. They don't see what I'm putting in. Man,
39:19
Speaker 2: I need to go somewhere else. This place doesn't appreciate me.
39:22
Speaker 1: Is that entitlement? It's entitlement when really the especially the
39:27
Speaker 1: time served portion of like, hey, look, I've been here,
39:30
Speaker 1: I've been punching the clock for this long. Good tree
39:33
Speaker 1: does not produce bad fruit. Right, Man who's faithful with
39:36
Speaker 1: little will become ruler over much.
39:39
Speaker 2: Right.
39:39
Speaker 1: And if you had the heart of servant leadership, Now
39:44
Speaker 1: here's the tricky part. Yeah, here's the tricky If you
39:48
Speaker 1: had the heart of servant leadership, here's what you can't
39:51
Speaker 1: be afraid of. And this is what people who This
39:54
Speaker 1: is one of the This is one of the little
39:56
Speaker 1: monsters that drags you back into entitlement because is your
40:00
Speaker 1: greatest fear is being taken advantage of? Man, do you
40:04
Speaker 1: think people take advantage of Christ? Do we say, well,
40:10
Speaker 1: I know Christ, Blood's going to be there tomorrow, so
40:12
Speaker 1: I'm going to sin. Anyways, we take advantage of God
40:14
Speaker 1: all the time, So don't think that because you're a
40:17
Speaker 1: servant leader that people won't take advantage of you. Yet
40:20
Speaker 1: Yet those who live this way still move forward. So
40:25
Speaker 1: don't say like, well, but they're just this or there,
40:29
Speaker 1: you know, but they just don't see my value. And
40:30
Speaker 1: I and I have been performing, serve, give, and I
40:34
Speaker 1: promise you you'll grow and you'll move forward. And if
40:37
Speaker 1: you get to a place where you can outgive people's
40:41
Speaker 1: ability to steal from you, what has that said about you?
40:44
Speaker 1: And that that sounds like a crazy thought process. But
40:47
Speaker 1: if you could outgive somebody's ability to steal for you,
40:49
Speaker 1: what does that say about you? It says that you
40:52
Speaker 1: are abundantly capable. People can't even take from you before
40:56
Speaker 1: you can give to them. And what that's done. And
40:58
Speaker 1: I promise if you're that case, you'll be very highly paid.
41:02
Speaker 1: But if you're on the flip side of saying, look,
41:04
Speaker 1: I have checked all of the boxes to the minimal
41:07
Speaker 1: degree that I deserve a promotion, you are far less
41:10
Speaker 1: talented and far less capable than the person who says, oh,
41:13
Speaker 1: they don't see it, yet I'll give more. And so
41:16
Speaker 1: if you'll think long term, because what we're pointing out
41:20
Speaker 1: is little seed. But I'm also giving the opposite thought
41:22
Speaker 1: process and how it makes you better. If you want
41:24
Speaker 1: to win in the long term, just live this way.
41:27
Speaker 1: You might get robbed in the short term, you might
41:29
Speaker 1: get taken advantage of in the short term. But the
41:31
Speaker 1: most important thing is that you grow and get better.
41:34
Speaker 1: If you grow and get better, I promise you'll get
41:36
Speaker 1: paid more. I promise you'll be a better disciple.
41:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, because God, ultimately, God's going to be the one
41:39
Speaker 2: who's going to open up your door. And maybe it's
41:41
Speaker 2: at that company, maybe it's somewhere else. Maybe you start
41:43
Speaker 2: your own business.
41:44
Speaker 1: We don't know. We're not the stay at one company
41:46
Speaker 1: for every God promotions are way better than corporate promotion.
41:49
Speaker 1: And maybe you're making eighty K working for people, and
41:53
Speaker 1: you should you deserve that promotion to one hundred or
41:56
Speaker 1: to one hundred and ten K. But you work for
41:58
Speaker 1: them for five years and you just keep doing your
42:00
Speaker 1: boss's job, and keep doing your boss's job, and someone
42:04
Speaker 1: finally it's your time, and someone sees your value and
42:06
Speaker 1: you get promoted to twenty five.
42:08
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, yeah, amen, All right, here's one that might
42:11
Speaker 2: sting a little bit. Expect a spouse, parent, or friend
42:16
Speaker 2: to always meet your emotional needs. Man, well, Gret, come on,
42:21
Speaker 2: don't not have like you know.
42:23
Speaker 1: Don't have that expectation of me.
42:25
Speaker 2: Well, I don't have that expectation of you, But but
42:27
Speaker 2: I think a lot of people have that expectation of
42:31
Speaker 2: their spouse. You know, I can't believe they they don't
42:35
Speaker 2: realize this, like what they're doing. Why would you?
42:37
Speaker 1: You know, you put yourself first, right if you want
42:40
Speaker 1: your emotional needs met meet their needs?
42:43
Speaker 2: Yeah, now that's okay. We've said that about marriage. You
42:46
Speaker 2: know where that's hard with your parents? Yeah, because, like
42:50
Speaker 2: you talked about it, you want to see the most
42:51
Speaker 2: entitled people in the world, it's kids, and a lot
42:53
Speaker 2: of us never grow out of that, even when our
42:55
Speaker 2: parents are older and we're fully grown adults as well,
42:58
Speaker 2: because you know what, sometimes you're parents aren't going to
43:00
Speaker 2: be equipped to give you what you would expect a
43:03
Speaker 2: parent should give. And so guess what you got to do.
43:05
Speaker 2: You got to realize that, Okay, this isn't going to
43:07
Speaker 2: go the way I thought.
43:08
Speaker 1: But God's put me there. Why don't I have parents
43:11
Speaker 1: like this? Or why couldn't my parents be that?
43:13
Speaker 2: If I had Garrett's parents, then maybe I would be
43:15
Speaker 2: able to do this stuff. But I don't, like I
43:16
Speaker 2: didn't get Scott and Darlene. Man, my life's so hard, bro.
43:20
Speaker 1: It's an opportunity for you to learn and grow ye
43:23
Speaker 1: in the same way, right, Nick, Because you know you
43:27
Speaker 1: get to see this Nick being so much spending so
43:29
Speaker 1: much time around my family. What they've done is helped
43:32
Speaker 1: me grow. And also I had to take that and
43:35
Speaker 1: turn it into growth. Right I could have been like
43:37
Speaker 1: you know, I could have been a dufis right? It
43:40
Speaker 1: was right there for me in the same way people
43:44
Speaker 1: who don't have parents like the parents that I have.
43:47
Speaker 1: It is also an opportunity for you to learn and grow, right,
43:51
Speaker 1: I have one of I have made my life scripture
43:54
Speaker 1: out of having great parents to who much is given,
43:56
Speaker 1: much is required.
43:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, now, let me let me help people with this,
44:00
Speaker 2: because you know, if you're this is you getting upset
44:02
Speaker 2: because your friends didn't make a big enough deal on
44:05
Speaker 2: your birthday.
44:05
Speaker 1: That's like a very obvious entitlement. I don't tell me this. Yeah,
44:08
Speaker 1: I don't want to hear I won't, Garrett.
44:10
Speaker 2: But but like with your spouse, Look, you're gonna have
44:12
Speaker 2: times when your spouse is going to disappoint you. It's
44:14
Speaker 2: just the truth. A lot of people their issues for
44:17
Speaker 2: a lot, why they lack identity or why they lack
44:18
Speaker 2: things root with their parents. And here's what I want
44:21
Speaker 2: to say, very clearly, the only person who can love
44:24
Speaker 2: you perfectly is God. And like if you expect that
44:28
Speaker 2: from your parents, if you need that from all the
44:30
Speaker 2: people around you, no matter how great they are, you're
44:33
Speaker 2: going to be disappointed. Garrett's a great friend, He's a
44:35
Speaker 2: He's one of the closest brothers I've ever had in
44:37
Speaker 2: my life. If I start going like Garrett, you.
44:40
Speaker 1: Know, there's there's a lot of things about me that
44:42
Speaker 1: you could be like, Garrett's a crappy friend for that, right. Yeah.
44:45
Speaker 2: But if I'm looking but I'm not, If I'm looking
44:48
Speaker 2: to you to fill some need that I have, you're
44:51
Speaker 2: putting an un Really, what you're doing is you're putting
44:52
Speaker 2: an unfair expectation on other people because nobody can live
44:56
Speaker 2: up to filling a hole that's only designed for God
44:58
Speaker 2: to fill. And when you have the relation the revelation
45:01
Speaker 2: of God's perfect love. Nothing will break your heart in
45:04
Speaker 2: the best possible way more and cause you to feel
45:07
Speaker 2: more secure, more accepted than when you actually realize that
45:10
Speaker 2: God has truly loved you from before you were formed,
45:13
Speaker 2: has put every single thing in your life by design,
45:15
Speaker 2: knows the number of hairs on your head, and has
45:18
Speaker 2: put the innermost desires in you. When you start realizing
45:20
Speaker 2: how carefully you were crafted and how much God loves you, man,
45:24
Speaker 2: no one else could love you that way. But all
45:26
Speaker 2: the time we see people getting disappointed because their friends,
45:28
Speaker 2: their spouse, their parents aren't doing that, and like that's
45:32
Speaker 2: a hard one. But man, if you can capture that,
45:34
Speaker 2: now you're the person that, because you're perfectly loved, you
45:36
Speaker 2: can love other people the way they need it.
45:38
Speaker 1: Yeah. Really, the cure for any entitlement example, it comes
45:43
Speaker 1: back to having a christ like attitude and godly character,
45:46
Speaker 1: because even when people are you know, not getting a
45:49
Speaker 1: promotion or a spouse or a friend or a parent,
45:53
Speaker 1: they're not meeting your needs or people should forgive you,
45:56
Speaker 1: but they're not. You know, like, maybe you did the
45:59
Speaker 1: right thing, maybe you've tried to fix it, maybe you haven't.
46:01
Speaker 1: You're expecting people to forgive you. Maybe you just want
46:03
Speaker 1: people to be nice to you and not you know,
46:06
Speaker 1: you just feel like you're not treated right. Whatever it is,
46:09
Speaker 1: it is for your best, it's for the best of
46:12
Speaker 1: the kingdom, it's for the best of people around you.
46:14
Speaker 1: You had. This is the challenging part. But how great
46:17
Speaker 1: to get the opportunity to live a challenging life where
46:19
Speaker 1: you can grow, where you can become great. This is
46:21
Speaker 1: the challenge that you would look at any of these
46:23
Speaker 1: situations and say, how could I love other people? How
46:27
Speaker 1: could I serve other people? And I promise you, by
46:29
Speaker 1: the way, the more you love and serve other people,
46:32
Speaker 1: the more you'll feel like your emotional needs have been
46:34
Speaker 1: met when you are just when you've got your hand
46:37
Speaker 1: out all the time. Who are the poorest people the
46:40
Speaker 1: people who are continually looking for handouts When you change
46:43
Speaker 1: your mindset and say like, okay, I need some help,
46:47
Speaker 1: but these aren't the this is not, unfortunately, the people
46:50
Speaker 1: who are struggling in life. They're saying like I need
46:52
Speaker 1: people to help me all the time. They're not the
46:54
Speaker 1: people say like, man, I messed up. There's been a
46:57
Speaker 1: series of mistakes in my life. If I could just
47:00
Speaker 1: get a job, like help me get I need help,
47:03
Speaker 1: like help me get a haircut, and help me find
47:05
Speaker 1: a job. And if I could get a job, I
47:07
Speaker 1: know I could turn this into more. And I'm not
47:11
Speaker 1: picking on homeless people by any means. I'm just making
47:14
Speaker 1: an example. If you'd look at every challenge in your
47:17
Speaker 1: life through this lens of man, I could really help
47:20
Speaker 1: somebody else here, like if I could instead of being unforgiven.
47:24
Speaker 1: It's like, Man, I get the opportunity. These people aren't
47:26
Speaker 1: forgiving me, but I can demonstrate the love of Christ
47:29
Speaker 1: by not letting that bother me and just can even
47:32
Speaker 1: though they don't love me. Even though they don't forgive me,
47:34
Speaker 1: I'm gonna love them back. Do what Christ has done
47:37
Speaker 1: for us for other people, And you know what, you
47:40
Speaker 1: might You just might change that person's heart, change that
47:43
Speaker 1: person's character, and not only get the forgiveness that you wanted,
47:47
Speaker 1: but show that person what living like Christ actually looks like.
47:50
Speaker 2: Yeah, And isn't that such the reason that we're here
47:53
Speaker 2: at Gee? If our job is to glorify God and
47:56
Speaker 2: glorifies to make Him known, is there anything more synonymous
47:59
Speaker 2: with God than showing mercy and grace. It's like it's
48:02
Speaker 2: a lot more fun to be like and then I
48:04
Speaker 2: beat that guy up than to be like. This guy
48:06
Speaker 2: treated me like like crap, And I absolutely just looked
48:08
Speaker 2: at him and loved him and did something for him.
48:11
Speaker 2: That's not a story we want to tell. That's the
48:13
Speaker 2: story God tells all the time.
48:15
Speaker 1: I can summarize all of this through something that we've
48:18
Speaker 1: said many times here on the show. Right, you don't
48:20
Speaker 1: want to live a life of entitlement. It's not a
48:23
Speaker 1: great life. A great life is servant leadership, and so
48:26
Speaker 1: I've said this many times. If you want to live
48:28
Speaker 1: a miserable life, make things all about you. If you
48:31
Speaker 1: want to live a great life, make things all about
48:33
Speaker 1: other people.
48:35
Speaker 2: Thank you very much for listening.
48:37
Speaker 3: Guys, remember to share, like subscribe. If you think that
48:41
Speaker 3: this would be something that someone would enjoy it, please
48:43
Speaker 3: send it to him.
48:43
Speaker 2: We appreciate it all.
48:45
Speaker 3: If you want to get in touch, you can follow
48:46
Speaker 3: us on Instagram at the Impossible Life. You'll find us
48:50
Speaker 3: on there.
48:50
Speaker 2: You can also email at.
48:52
Speaker 3: Impossible Life Podcasts at gmail dot com, or you have
48:55
Speaker 3: any questions. If you want to get in touch and
48:57
Speaker 3: find out about Carrett's personal or business coaching, that's the
48:59
Speaker 3: way to do it. Thank you again for listening. Go
49:02
Speaker 3: out there and think better and live the impossible to
49:05
Speaker 3: see again soon