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Wanna Get Wasted Juice Boxes? · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Hey, you want to go out and get wasted on
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: juice boxes. It's one more thing, one more thing. It'll
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: all make sense, Katie, Okay, shy. Why am I making
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: these hands in moments? I don't know. It's scaring me.
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: Stop it. So before we get to whatever that is,
• 0:19
  Speaker 2: the concept of being a human footstool came up on
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  Speaker 2: the Armstrong and Getty showed today. Oh my god, yes
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: it did.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: We got an email that suggesting that sleeve boy should
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: add that to his duties. Sleeve boy, sleeve boy, hands
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  Speaker 1: and knees right now, Daddy's legs are tired.
• 0:37
  Speaker 2: I make him call me daddy. Oh man, that's rough.
• 0:45
  Speaker 2: I was reading this book and it was a kid
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  Speaker 2: that went to a private prep school in England. And
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  Speaker 2: one of the weird things that happened at this horrible school,
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  Speaker 2: in addition to the bullying and sexual abuse, was the
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  Speaker 2: headmaster's wife would make two of the kids be a
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  Speaker 2: foot stool for her in the evening so she could
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  Speaker 2: rest her feet on top of them. And this was
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  Speaker 2: an elite, yeah, private where you sent your rich family,
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  Speaker 2: and you send your rich kids because you want them
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  Speaker 2: to be also, you know, movers and shakers in England. Yeah,
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  Speaker 2: really amazing. But and it reminded me I'd heard it
• 1:16
  Speaker 2: in a podcast last year. I wish I could dig
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: it up. I got to try to figure out where
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  Speaker 2: it was. Some war in the Middle East way back
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  Speaker 2: in the day, and like some sultan you know, takes
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  Speaker 2: over another piece of land there in the Middle East
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  Speaker 2: and makes that king be his footstool for like the
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  Speaker 2: rest of his life, be a human footstool for like
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  Speaker 2: twenty years or something like that.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: I just don't know if I'd go along. I think
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: I might. I might, I might check out.
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: Before I'd be somebody's footstool for the rest of my life.
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  Speaker 1: I think that would. Yeah, it'd be tough on your
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  Speaker 1: back and your knees. I mean, if it had her execution.
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  Speaker 2: I wasn't thinking about it physically as much as just
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  Speaker 2: it's kind of demeaning, isn't it.
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  Speaker 1: What are you I woke up demeans this morning? I've
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: done worse.
• 2:00
  Speaker 2: What kind of life is that being someone's footstool. Well,
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  Speaker 2: it's demeaning, yeah, But if it's that or execution the guy.
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  Speaker 2: The guy's not sitting all day and all night you
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  Speaker 2: get time off.
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  Speaker 1: You have no self respect I'd rather be alive.
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  Speaker 2: I'm not sure I would.
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  Speaker 1: I could write poetry in my head as I sat
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  Speaker 1: there with his feet on my back. I could think
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  Speaker 1: about anything I wanted. I could write songs. I could
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  Speaker 1: have a happy and productive life when I'm not being
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  Speaker 1: in footstool. I don't know. You live and you endure,
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  Speaker 1: you overcome.
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: I have so many questions, like if on your downtime,
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  Speaker 3: when you're not a footstool, how.
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  Speaker 2: Much freedom do you have?
• 2:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
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  Speaker 2: Do I have a car?
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  Speaker 3: Can I go about my regular day, but make sure
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  Speaker 3: i'm back for footstool hour or whatever?
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  Speaker 2: Seeing the get You're down at the mall shopping and
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  Speaker 2: they just text you and my feet are a little
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  Speaker 2: on the ground. If you know what I'm saying, I'm
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  Speaker 2: on my way home.
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  Speaker 3: We've been walking a lot. Twenty minute warning. I could
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  Speaker 3: deal I mean, I could deal with that.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it is demeaning, but yeah, as long
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  Speaker 1: as it's fairly civil. Something tells me in the ancient
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  Speaker 1: Middle East it wasn't quite that enlightened.
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  Speaker 2: Probably not.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah you get a beating on the way in and
• 3:11
  Speaker 1: one on the way out, well, then yeah, I'd hurtl
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: myself off the castle wall or onto a sword or something.
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  Speaker 1: But the fact that the guy hung in there for
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  Speaker 1: twenty years says to me, you know, it's all right.
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  Speaker 2: You know that's a that's a decent comment right there.
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  Speaker 2: That great benefits. You're off hours, hit a creep, got
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  Speaker 2: a four wooden k.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and I'm traded very well. Yeah, it's dirty
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  Speaker 1: feet around my back. Other than that, it's pretty enlightened.
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  Speaker 1: He's got great taste in music, and I get to
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  Speaker 1: listen to it. Obviously, I'm there.
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  Speaker 2: I'm furniture for a rich guy. But every now and
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: then he clips his toenails, you.
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  Speaker 1: Know, and you know the harem girls. I'm not supposed
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  Speaker 1: to look, but I'd grab a glance. I mean, he's
• 3:50
  Speaker 1: not looking at me. It's it's fine. Beat's getting your
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: head sawed off anyway. So my reference to getting wasted
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: on juice box is a ten year old California girl
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  Speaker 1: is set to graduate from college this spring. She says,
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  Speaker 1: I just enjoy learning. There's so many interesting things out there,
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  Speaker 1: which is true.
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  Speaker 2: Ten. Is this the youngbe eleven at the ceremony? Is
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  Speaker 2: this the youngest ever?
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  Speaker 1: I don't know.
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  Speaker 2: I've heard, you know, we've all heard the sixteens, fifteen thirteen.
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  Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever heard of ten.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah. She learned how to read at two years old
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  Speaker 1: and began doing algebra at the age of five. Started
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: taking classes at a community college in Ukaypa, California, when
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  Speaker 1: she was eight. It's very fun to me, she says.
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  Speaker 1: It's almost as fun as playing outside or riding a
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: bike or doing whatever. I just enjoy learning. There's so
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  Speaker 1: many interesting things out there, you know, it's it's funny people.
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  Speaker 1: Uh no, I don't think so. Let me let me
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  Speaker 1: say probably not. I mean she's a child. Oh there,
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  Speaker 1: she is, lovely gal, Oh what a cutie. Anyway, she's
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  Speaker 1: not gonna end up a human footstool. People react with
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: incredulity and wonder and amazement at this sort of thing.
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  Speaker 1: And I've for years and years and you just thought
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  Speaker 1: it's so silly. And it reminds me of one thing
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  Speaker 1: I hate, Katie. That's very odd. I hate when people
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: gush over a child who can sing like an adult.
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  Speaker 2: That is something that sets Joe off, Katie out of
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  Speaker 2: you didn't know that.
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  Speaker 1: Well. People are like, oh my god, she's amazing. Listen
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  Speaker 1: to that voice. Oh my god, and she's only a child.
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  Speaker 1: Oh my god, it's like this little girl. It's not
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  Speaker 1: merit that she's that intelligent. I mean she has a
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  Speaker 1: fair amount of character and a curious mind, which I
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  Speaker 1: think is great. She's not better than you. Her brain
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  Speaker 1: just works differently. It's like being exceptionally tall. I don't
• 5:50
  Speaker 1: point at somebody who's very tall and say, oh my god,
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  Speaker 1: he's six foot five. That's much taller than average people.
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  Speaker 1: Because sand a certain number of people fall outside the
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: averages and stuff like that. So some kid's throat is
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: formed in a way that she sounds somewhat like an
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  Speaker 1: adult when she sings. Who cares you know what she's
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  Speaker 1: gonna sound like when she is an adult, like a
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  Speaker 1: sing an adult. It's not like she got anywhere worth getting.
• 6:17
  Speaker 1: She's just there earlier. It's not like she's going to
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  Speaker 1: continue to be so much better a singer than the
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  Speaker 1: rest of humanity by the time she's an adult. Her
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: her voice can some of the angels and care cancer.
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  Speaker 1: That's not the way it works. I have never heard
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  Speaker 1: someone this upset about Oh I'm implementing get upset. I'm
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: upset about stupid people who gush about someone who can
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  Speaker 1: sing like an adult at age twelve.
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  Speaker 2: Honest to god, if my kids started reading really well
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  Speaker 2: at age two and everything, I'd think, WHOA, we have
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  Speaker 2: got a situation to manage. Yeah, I wouldn't. I wouldn't.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, if I could choose it or not, I'd
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  Speaker 2: choose not. I'd rather have a kid of normal intelligence.
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know's It's definitely a challenge and an opportunity. Now,
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  Speaker 1: unlike the singing youngster, this young lady might continue to
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  Speaker 1: learn throughout her lifetime and achieve great things.
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  Speaker 2: I certainly hope that for or only fans.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of super geniuses don't end up happy.
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  Speaker 2: So oh yeah, go ahead.
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  Speaker 3: No, No, I was just gonna say a crack a dumb joke,
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  Speaker 3: so continue.
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  Speaker 1: Oh I'm sorry I missed it. Yeah. I've known more
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  Speaker 1: than one person who is of like a crazy intelligence
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  Speaker 1: that can't get their act together and or their borderline,
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  Speaker 1: or actually just mentally ill and fantastically intelligent. It's just
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  Speaker 1: as we've said for a long time, genius is another
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  Speaker 1: brand of my brain. Doesn't work like other people's brains,
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  Speaker 1: and sometimes it can be great, but not always.
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  Speaker 2: Uh. I meant I wouldn't not from a parenting standpoint
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  Speaker 2: for my kid, I wouldn't choose them to have that
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  Speaker 2: brain just because. Okay, so now you're at community college
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  Speaker 2: and you're eight. That's not a comfortable situation. Now and
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  Speaker 2: you're at college at ten, you're not going to have
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  Speaker 2: the college experience that you'd have with an average intelligence
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  Speaker 2: that is, and having a high school experience, none of it.
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  Speaker 1: It's just and so I actually know somebody. I'm going
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  Speaker 1: to be very very vague about this for obvious reasons,
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  Speaker 1: but mom is exceptionally bright and her daughter is off
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  Speaker 1: the charts, and it's tough sometimes for the kid to
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  Speaker 1: relate to kids her age. Sure she has nothing to
• 8:42
  Speaker 1: say to them. Well, I don't want to go any
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  Speaker 1: further than that, because I'm not like intimately in their lives.
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: But I'm reminded of a great line from the best
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  Speaker 1: incarnation of Sherlock Holmes that's ever existed, the Benedict Cumberbatch
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: with Mark what's his who's Mycroft homes? But that's Sherlock
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: homes smarter older brother who says to Sherlock, you think
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: it's difficult for you, For me, it's like living in
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: a world of goldfish, which is you know, obviously a
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  Speaker 1: tad demeaning sort of fellow who might use you as
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  Speaker 1: a stool school. But yeah, to be that bright as
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: a child, maybe you're still into playing with Dolly's and
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: think puppies are cute and stuff like that and want
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  Speaker 1: to draw rainbows. But it'd be tough.
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  Speaker 2: And uh, what is a kid going to major in?
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  Speaker 2: Do we know that?
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  Speaker 1: I don't know. But her dream is to someday work
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  Speaker 1: in artificial intelligence. She's talking about building a startup with
• 9:46
  Speaker 1: her dad, which is sweet.
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  Speaker 3: Cool.
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  Speaker 2: We're all going to be her footstool someday. I'd be
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  Speaker 2: happy to be a hunter. Indeed.
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  Speaker 1: Now I'm going to grunt a little as I get
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  Speaker 1: to the ground as an old older fellow. But let's
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: get this started. Imagine being a singing human footstool, not
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: only letting them put your feet on their back, sing
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  Speaker 1: me a song, footstool. Yeah, I could see that being
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: part of the deal. I mean, if you're a human footstool,
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: you're not going to say no, I don't want to sing. No,
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  Speaker 1: I'd say you're a human footstool. You're gonna do what
• 10:23
  Speaker 1: you're told.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: Everybody cut everybody cut foot loose now, don't sing foot
• 10:27
  Speaker 2: related songs. I want other stuff.
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: I am going to kick you if you make another
• 10:32
  Speaker 1: joke like that footstool.
• 10:35
  Speaker 2: Well, I guess that's it.