Latest / Pursuit of Sassiness / Two Loves of Your Life with Kym Douglas and Tim Robertson

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Two Loves of Your Life with Kym Douglas and Tim Robertson · Pursuit of Sassiness

• 0:15
  Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two. It's one of your hosts,
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: Jenny Garth. And one of the things I love about
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: this podcast is getting to hear people's unique ways they
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: find love. In chapter two, my guest today is living
• 0:32
  Speaker 1: proof that you should never give up on finding love.
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: She's a television host, beauty and lifestyle expert, author, and
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: co host of the podcast God's Table. Hollywood. Please welcome
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: Kim Douglas and her husband Tim Robertson to the pod. Kim,
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: you have lived such a full life of love and loss,
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: and I just want our listeners to get to know
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: sort of your chapter one before we dive into beautiful
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: chapter two. Oh so, can you tell us a little
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: bit about your first marriage?
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: Yes, absolutely so.
• 1:08
  Speaker 3: I was a news anchor in up state Michigan. I
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: always put the mitten up, and it was up here,
• 1:14
  Speaker 3: way up here. And it was my first interview out
• 1:19
  Speaker 3: of college, and I interviewed an actor much like yourself
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: from a show called.
• 1:25
  Speaker 2: The Young and the Restless.
• 1:26
  Speaker 3: He played a character named John Abbott, and he was
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: my first interview, and the joke goes, thank god I
• 1:33
  Speaker 3: didn't interview Charles Manson or Chuckie Becker because I would
• 1:36
  Speaker 3: have been married to them, and it was a good
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: interview and blah blah blah. Anyway, we were married very
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: shortly after that interview, and he was a lot older
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: than I was, and at our wedding they were making
• 1:48
  Speaker 3: bets that we would last six months.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: Ended up being.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Married for thirty seven years and we had one child, Hunter,
• 1:57
  Speaker 3: and he lives in Los Angeles. He's twenty eight. He's
• 1:59
  Speaker 3: in five finance. And I had a beautiful marriage and
• 2:03
  Speaker 3: he was a wonderful husband and a great father. And
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: he passed away almost four years ago of throughout cancer. Yes, yes,
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: I thought my life was over and the best was
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: behind me, and that you get one love in your
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: life and.
• 2:24
  Speaker 2: You know, and it just it was. It was hard,
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: it was bad.
• 2:27
  Speaker 3: I went through cancer myself and the Ellen Show, as
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: you mentioned, when we first got on, she ended up
• 2:33
  Speaker 3: ending her show. So I had all these endings that happened,
• 2:37
  Speaker 3: and I didn't think there'd be any new beginnings.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: Right, Yeah, healing and moving forward seems so unimaginable after
• 2:46
  Speaker 1: a loss like that, like all of those. I'm curious
• 2:50
  Speaker 1: did you and your first husband have conversations about what
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: he wanted for you after he passed like, did he
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: want you to find love again?
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: That's really funny.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: And I wonder if Tim went through this too, although
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: his was much faster because Jerry's was a five year
• 3:11
  Speaker 3: battle and they didn't diagnose him correctly till toward.
• 3:15
  Speaker 2: The very end. We had a long time to go through,
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: you know, how this was going to be.
• 3:23
  Speaker 3: And so what's really interesting, Jenny is that he would say,
• 3:28
  Speaker 3: I don't want anybody else to be with you, you.
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: Know, I just want it to have been me. But
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: then he.
• 3:37
  Speaker 3: Said, but I don't want to be selfish, and you're
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: so much younger than I am, and you have so
• 3:42
  Speaker 3: much more life left I do. I do want you
• 3:45
  Speaker 3: to to have love again. So it was that, you know,
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not trying to say like he was so altruistic
• 3:51
  Speaker 3: and was like, go off and find love, But by
• 3:54
  Speaker 3: the same token, he wasn't selfish either and knew that
• 3:58
  Speaker 3: I had a whole life I had me.
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: That's nice, Tim, would I would love to hear a
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: little bit more about your chapter one as well. How
• 4:07
  Speaker 1: long were you married to your first wife.
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: I was married to my college sweetheart, married forty seven years.
• 4:15
  Speaker 2: Wow, and great marriage.
• 4:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, we had wonderful marriage, five children, children and now
• 4:25
  Speaker 4: seventeen grandchildren. Yeah, it's pretty crazy. Yeah, it's it's life
• 4:31
  Speaker 4: around this house.
• 4:32
  Speaker 5: It's nuts.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: And you know, Kim had one child. She said she
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: always wanted a bigger family.
• 4:37
  Speaker 5: Well she got one sheet one she did, so anyway,
• 4:41
  Speaker 5: we have one. But it was.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: She was a picture of health. She was a very
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: strong athlete, had played in those days. It wasn't d one,
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: it was the nai or whatever they call it. But
• 4:59
  Speaker 4: she played top all sports in college. And she was
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and was kind of shock. And
• 5:08
  Speaker 4: we went through a blitz of going to everywhere from
• 5:12
  Speaker 4: you know, the best cancer center, the Mnie Anderson and
• 5:15
  Speaker 4: Houston and all these places. But that's one of the
• 5:18
  Speaker 4: cancers that is one of the most deadly. And from
• 5:22
  Speaker 4: the time she was diagnosed to the time she finally
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: died was about three months. We really didn't have a
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: lot of time to sort of figure it all out.
• 5:32
  Speaker 4: And but anyway, we had a great marriage, you know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: And I think the the thing that boid both of
• 5:40
  Speaker 4: us said it was strengthened both of us was we
• 5:43
  Speaker 4: had an extraordinary faith. And I think that's one of
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: the things that sort of brought Kim and me together
• 5:50
  Speaker 4: as well.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: How you meet.
• 5:52
  Speaker 4: We met because I was doing a business deal with
• 5:56
  Speaker 4: a former associate of mine in Los Angeles and I
• 6:00
  Speaker 4: get this strange text one day. He says, do you
• 6:03
  Speaker 4: mind if I call you about something of personal matter?
• 6:07
  Speaker 4: And I thought, you're my friend, we've been I've known
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: you for twenty some years. You can call me anytime
• 6:11
  Speaker 4: you want to call me up there, schedule a call
• 6:13
  Speaker 4: with me and anyhow, so he causes, you know, I
• 6:18
  Speaker 4: was at this gathering of women last night and picking
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: up my wife and in front of the car, in
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: front of you know, the headlights, my wife walked in
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: front of him with another lady and I just literally heard,
• 6:35
  Speaker 4: like a physical voice say.
• 6:39
  Speaker 5: Tim Robertson needs to meet her.
• 6:41
  Speaker 4: And I was like what I said, Oh, come on,
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: you know, and you know, I've been around a lot
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: of faced stuff and when people start saying they hear
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: from God, I kind of go, you know, well, that's great.
• 6:54
  Speaker 5: For you, but I want to do.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: Well. God tells me that that's so. But anyhow, I
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: had a reason to go to LA because we were
• 7:04
  Speaker 4: doing this business deal and he said, let me arrange
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: a meeting. I said, Okay, I don't know.
• 7:10
  Speaker 1: You know, when you say meeting, you mean like a date.
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: Well, it was like I said, I don't want to date.
• 7:15
  Speaker 3: Wait, but he said wait because he will relate to this.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: He didn't want to meet a blonde actress.
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: Oh goodness, you know how well I can't. I really
• 7:25
  Speaker 1: can't blame you, I know.
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: But you know I had Anyhow, we ended up arranging
• 7:34
  Speaker 4: for a lunch meeting. I thought, lunch is safe, you know,
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: coffee even better, but you know.
• 7:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, I might have to go because things aren't working out.
• 7:46
  Speaker 5: Well.
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: There were five of us at this lunch, and uh,
• 7:49
  Speaker 4: the only person I could see was Kim, and I
• 7:52
  Speaker 4: was locked in with her and we we just kind
• 7:55
  Speaker 4: of we connected on multiple levels. And it's funny because
• 8:00
  Speaker 4: the other folks said it was weird.
• 8:03
  Speaker 5: You know, It's like we weren't even in the room.
• 8:05
  Speaker 1: Oh I love that. I love that. So you guys
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: had instant feelings right away.
• 8:10
  Speaker 5: Did well?
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: You did too, Kim? I love that.
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 8:14
  Speaker 3: And Jenny, here's a picture. I don't know if you
• 8:15
  Speaker 3: can see it very well. That is our wedding picture.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, you clean up so nicely.
• 8:23
  Speaker 2: Thank you it was no idea where he just came from.
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: But anyway, Yeah.
• 8:29
  Speaker 4: So I was supposed to go home the next day,
• 8:32
  Speaker 4: and I ended up extending my stay a few days
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: and Kim was I was able to take her to dinner,
• 8:38
  Speaker 4: and then we actually went to the big show, the
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: Christmas Pageant, which is sort of the City of Angels
• 8:46
  Speaker 4: Christmas concert, and with my son and his three kids.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: So I brought her right into introducing her to the
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: family right off the bat. Okay, if she can handle
• 8:55
  Speaker 4: this crowd, you know, it'd be great, and she did.
• 8:58
  Speaker 4: They all fell in love with her, and so did I.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: Was there anything that held you back from sort of
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: going that quickly or were you both like just let's go.
• 9:09
  Speaker 4: You know when you get a certain age, Yeah, it's
• 9:12
  Speaker 4: like waiting for I don't have any I don't always
• 9:16
  Speaker 4: say yeah. And you get to a point, especially when
• 9:20
  Speaker 4: you've experienced laws, Uh, you realize just how precious every
• 9:25
  Speaker 4: moment is. And and you know, so we met in December.
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: We were married in March.
• 9:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, incredible, you guys sound like me and my husband.
• 9:35
  Speaker 1: We did it really fast. To Kim, what did you
• 9:38
  Speaker 1: think of him when you met him? What did you
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: think of him, you know.
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: I so Tim is the opposite of me as far
• 9:47
  Speaker 3: as social media, Jenny. So, you know, I was looking
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: up his Instagram. He didn't have one on Facebook, He's
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: not on it. I'm like, who is this guy? Like,
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: you know, everybody we.
• 9:59
  Speaker 2: Know is you know? And then I you know, did
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: you are? But I mean you have like two pictures
• 10:05
  Speaker 2: of your grandis. You know that's not being on Facebook.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I kind of like it.
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I know, I know I did too secretly. And
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: then I looked him up on the internet. And he's
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: very very u private, which I also love because my
• 10:23
  Speaker 3: life is so in front of the camera. And so
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: the minute I met him, I really did feel a spark.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: And I don't know how to explain this, but I
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: met him and he exudes integrity and elegance and just
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: a kind of an interior strength that is very hard
• 10:47
  Speaker 3: to find in our town and in our business.
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: Did you ever think that you would find love again?
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: I sure didn't.
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: I had Actually I had a very very unfortunate relationship
• 11:15
  Speaker 4: that was very short lived.
• 11:16
  Speaker 3: Oh, let's go into the gens dating before me, Jenny,
• 11:22
  Speaker 3: I really do want to.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: I'm curious.
• 11:24
  Speaker 4: Let's talk about it and I thought this, you know,
• 11:28
  Speaker 4: this whole deal.
• 11:29
  Speaker 5: Isn't gonna work.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you don't want to date anymore after that.
• 11:33
  Speaker 4: No, it's just not gonna work. And uh, you know
• 11:37
  Speaker 4: it wasn't like you know, I you know, I never
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: went to the thing, never regressed. Okay, It's just I
• 11:49
  Speaker 4: just got a dose of crazy, and I thought, I
• 11:51
  Speaker 4: don't need any more crazy.
• 11:54
  Speaker 5: You know, I don't need a lot of you know.
• 11:56
  Speaker 5: I'm just I'm good.
• 11:57
  Speaker 1: You're done.
• 11:58
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I'm good. My life is fine. You know.
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: I got my grandkids. I got my kids, they got
• 12:03
  Speaker 4: a great life. I got a nice place, you know,
• 12:06
  Speaker 4: you know, all this stuff, and every now and then
• 12:08
  Speaker 4: I go out in the woods and kind of played life.
• 12:11
  Speaker 4: And I don't know how you feel about what. I
• 12:14
  Speaker 4: hope you're not a peed a person, but I do.
• 12:16
  Speaker 4: Ended up I'd like to hunt so and you know,
• 12:20
  Speaker 4: so that's what I do.
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: So I'm wearing I'm wearing camouflage, Jenny, and I know
• 12:24
  Speaker 3: this is a podcast and you can't really but we
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: were just out in Pongo, which is an area where,
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: you know, kind of a small area.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: You have head to toe camouflage.
• 12:37
  Speaker 2: I'm in head to toe camouflage. And you know me,
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: you know me, you know that I used a grade sport.
• 12:43
  Speaker 5: It's it's literally thirty degrees here, it is.
• 12:47
  Speaker 2: We were out in me.
• 12:48
  Speaker 4: The first time she's ever going with me to do this. Yeah,
• 12:50
  Speaker 4: and she actually had a good time until until the
• 12:54
  Speaker 4: sun went down there it's like, oh.
• 12:56
  Speaker 5: Get me out of here.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: You're very brave, very brave.
• 13:02
  Speaker 5: You're right.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: So you guys decided to get married after just three
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: months of dating, same exact story as my husband and me.
• 13:09
  Speaker 1: Really yes, but were there people in your lives, like
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: your kids or anyone that was skeptical or did you
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: just get support from everyone?
• 13:20
  Speaker 5: My your kids were supported and that was what was
• 13:25
  Speaker 5: really great.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah, because you know, I've got four, four daughters, and
• 13:30
  Speaker 4: I mean they're first of all, I mean, you know,
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: my my late wife was spectacular and they all loved dearly,
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: and you know they were like, oh, you know, I
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: don't know dad and this kind of stuff. But when
• 13:45
  Speaker 4: they met Cam, they just said, this is she's just
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: fabulous and she makes you happy.
• 13:49
  Speaker 5: And they wanted to bring to me happy.
• 13:51
  Speaker 2: They did they when they.
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: Saw the interaction between the two of us, and so
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: that whole dynamic. Uh, they're like, Dad, this is great.
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: You know, this is just great, and they're all love
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: whether all the grandkids think she's the greatest thing ever.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: Ah, well, I have an only child son, Jenny, And
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: he said, Mom, are you crazy? What were you doing?
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: Are you out of your mind? Like what are you doing?
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: You know this man in Virginia, you've only known him,
• 14:21
  Speaker 2: what are you?
• 14:22
  Speaker 3: And so he was protective, you know, loving him, protective
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: once he met him, because we did have a whirlwind
• 14:29
  Speaker 3: romance and we would meet in different places and always
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: with chaperones. He'd always bring other couples with us, and
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: before we were married, and you know, Hunter didn't get
• 14:42
  Speaker 3: a chance to meet him. So when he did, that
• 14:45
  Speaker 3: was when he knew for sure. But you know, till
• 14:47
  Speaker 3: the very end he was like, Mom, are you sure?
• 14:50
  Speaker 2: Is this you know? And I understand he was protecting.
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: Yeahed him to join me on a trip over New
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: Year's and so I called Hunter center. I just want
• 15:01
  Speaker 4: you to know I have nothing but honorable intentions towards
• 15:04
  Speaker 4: your mother, and I hope it's okay with you if.
• 15:08
  Speaker 5: She comes and joins me.
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: And I think he was a little surprised about that.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: So it really was at Tim.
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: Fall, that was a little bit of a role reversal, right.
• 15:21
  Speaker 1: I like that though. So since you've both lost your spouses,
• 15:26
  Speaker 1: which I'm very sorry for you guys, what kind of
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: bond or foundation did that have for your new relationship together.
• 15:36
  Speaker 3: I think it was everything because we both came from
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: very strong, loving, solid marriages, so neither of us were
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: willing to settle for anything less. And I did tell Tim,
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: you know, I did go out on a few dates
• 15:51
  Speaker 3: with some girlfriends that would set me up with people
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: in our town. And you know, one of the first
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: red flags would be I would sit down with a
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: man and we would ask, you know, about our backgrounds
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: and he would say, oh, my ex wife she is
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: such a witch. You can't believe, I mean, And right
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: away I knew we didn't have anything in common.
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: That's a red flag.
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah. And not to say anything negative about folks who've
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: been divorced, because there are a lot of reasons they do.
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: But true, people who've been divorced have some scars, and
• 16:24
  Speaker 4: they uh and they bring some baggage. And not that
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: we we don't, we don't, but but there's a there's
• 16:34
  Speaker 4: a trust factor that is may not it's just different.
• 16:39
  Speaker 4: And I'm not saying what it's good or bad, but
• 16:42
  Speaker 4: it's different. And I think that there are a lot
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: of data that shows that people who have lost spouses,
• 16:48
  Speaker 4: as opposed to people who have have been been separate.
• 16:51
  Speaker 5: Or divorced, are.
• 16:55
  Speaker 4: First of all, much more eager to be remarried and
• 16:58
  Speaker 4: uh and much more willing to trust people.
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: And that's certainly our case.
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: I had a very very happy marriage, and I'd like
• 17:05
  Speaker 4: being married, so he did, and I kind of I
• 17:11
  Speaker 4: hope that maybe God will give me a chance to
• 17:14
  Speaker 4: do it again, and he did.
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: So here we are and he did, and he did.
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: A lucky guy you are. How do you How does
• 17:23
  Speaker 1: marriage in chapter two look or feel different than chapter one?
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: I mean, do you have different values or things that
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: are important to you more important to you the second
• 17:33
  Speaker 1: time around?
• 17:34
  Speaker 3: Well, you said this to me a couple of times,
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: and he said, and I don't think this is the case.
• 17:40
  Speaker 3: But for both of us, anything that we did do
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: in our first marriage is like, for instance, when you're
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: married twenty seven years or forty seven years, Oh, thirty
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: seven for me, forty seven for him.
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: You know, there becomes.
• 17:54
  Speaker 5: You're only thirty seven years.
• 17:56
  Speaker 2: Thank you?
• 17:57
  Speaker 4: Yeah, but Jenny, we're one of those Appalachian places where
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: you get married.
• 18:03
  Speaker 5: Ten years old.
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: Look, you two are so adorable. I can't take it.
• 18:09
  Speaker 3: But you know what we said is that after many
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: many years, and you may have found this too.
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: You know, sometimes you take your spouse for granted, or
• 18:19
  Speaker 2: you may not say, oh my god, you're so why
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: are you so cute?
• 18:23
  Speaker 3: You know, it's been so many years, and I think
• 18:26
  Speaker 3: we both feel like, you know what, we're going to
• 18:29
  Speaker 3: do that all the time with each other. Every we
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: realize how fragile life is now and we don't have
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: that many years. We have less years to be together.
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: My kids like that, what happened to You're so nice?
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: You're like, I'm a happy man. That's what Leve will
• 18:49
  Speaker 1: do to right.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: But it's I think there's a situation where you get
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: to the point where, because you've had laws, you this
• 19:01
  Speaker 4: whole deal becomes a you just appreciate it. You appreciate
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: the new, the new thing and you and you uh,
• 19:13
  Speaker 4: and so.
• 19:15
  Speaker 5: You know that.
• 19:17
  Speaker 4: I think you know, when you when you've go with
• 19:20
  Speaker 4: somebody as long as both of us were, you know,
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: there are patterns should develop. There's a little bit of
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: scar tissue that builds up because you know this, and
• 19:28
  Speaker 4: uh uh and so you don't ever want to take
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: anybody for granted, but sometimes you do a little bit.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: And uh and that's the thing with me, I've learned.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: You know, you can't take anything for granted. You can't
• 19:39
  Speaker 4: take any day for granted. You don't know what's gonna
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: happen tomorrow. And so we just want to be appreciative
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: of everything we have every day. Yeah, and beyond that,
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: we also want to express that appreciation to each other,
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: uh every day and uh uh you know, I think
• 19:56
  Speaker 4: you know, with my wonderful wife Lisa, I probably didn't
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: appreciate her as much as I should have.
• 20:01
  Speaker 5: I mean, she knew I did.
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: I knew she did, but we were now a lot
• 20:06
  Speaker 4: more vital about it.
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: And so you know, it's a good thing.
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's really a beautiful thing, actually new when you
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: really understand the value of what you are blessed to
• 20:19
  Speaker 1: have in your life, you know, and like you said,
• 20:23
  Speaker 1: you don't take it for granted. Kim. You I know
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: you were diagnosed with breads cancer. How old were you
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: at that time?
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: It was eight years ago and I'm sixty six today.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: Okay, not that long ago, not that long.
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: Ago, but eight years completely cancer free and clean and healthy,
• 20:50
  Speaker 3: and yeah, it was.
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: It was quite the journey.
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: Do you think that changed your perspective on life? Because
• 21:00
  Speaker 1: you had lost your first husband, now you have breast cancer,
• 21:04
  Speaker 1: you're fighting, you're battling breast cancer. And then how long
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: have you all been married? Since twenty twenty five?
• 21:12
  Speaker 4: Ye?
• 21:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we're not quite a year yet.
• 21:13
  Speaker 1: Okay, that makes sense. So you but you were battling
• 21:16
  Speaker 1: this on your own.
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: Uh huh?
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: I was, and I think it changes you. You know,
• 21:23
  Speaker 3: it was hard for me because after I had gone
• 21:29
  Speaker 3: through so I was doing beauty, as we talked about
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: before we came on the air on the Ellen Show,
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: and I had none. I had lost all my hair,
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: I lost my eyebrows, my eyelashes, I was green in
• 21:42
  Speaker 3: my skin tone. And I had lost seventeen pounds in
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: about six weeks because of the drugs.
• 21:50
  Speaker 2: So I'm here, I'm talking about beauty and you know,
• 21:53
  Speaker 2: I don't have any And.
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: It was very difficult to go on and talk about
• 21:58
  Speaker 3: surface things when you're going through such a depth of
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: fighting for your life. And I do think it changed
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: me a lot after that because I really did want
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: to make a difference, and I wanted to have a deeper,
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: richer purpose, And after Jerry's passing, I did pray for
• 22:18
  Speaker 3: that and I really believe that this man right here
• 22:22
  Speaker 3: is the answer to that.
• 22:24
  Speaker 2: And he just was. You know, he has such a
• 22:26
  Speaker 2: great purpose in his life.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: He lives his life in such a way of giving
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: back to others and doing enormous charity and philanthropic work.
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: He goes to Africa and Tanzania.
• 22:39
  Speaker 3: We went for our honeymoon to Tanzania and we were
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: with the Massai people and there are a group of
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: people that have no internet, don't want to do anything
• 22:48
  Speaker 3: regarding you know, computers, and it was really so refreshing
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: and it was what I had really wanted and prayed
• 22:57
  Speaker 3: for after going through cancer, to have a deeper me
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: and do more with my life.
• 23:03
  Speaker 1: I can imagine it became less fulfilling to talk about
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: that superficial beauty stuff. Yeah, at that point, do you
• 23:11
  Speaker 1: think you'll ever return to that space or are you still?
• 23:14
  Speaker 1: Are you back in that space? I mean, you are beautiful.
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: I don't care if you're what.
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: Is that story you like to her?
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: Brandy All? No, yeah, I mean, never.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Mind you never mind, you know what, I think that you.
• 23:37
  Speaker 4: Should see the amount of brush as she has in
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: her I mean.
• 23:41
  Speaker 1: Understand, it takes a lot of work, Tim Do you.
• 23:45
  Speaker 2: Think this just happened right?
• 23:49
  Speaker 3: No, But honestly, we are in the process of writing
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: a book about our story and about loss and grief
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: and age and to never get up hope and that
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: love is always right around the corner, no matter how
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: old you are, and it's really going to be a
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: beautiful story. But by the same token, I know that
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: people do know me from the beauty space, and I
• 24:15
  Speaker 3: think talking about beauty and keeping yourself looking your very
• 24:19
  Speaker 3: best is really important too.
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: For sure. It's self care. It's it's very important how
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: we take care of ourselves, how we want to show
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: up in the world and for the people that we
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: love around us.
• 24:30
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, I'm never going to get I wanted to
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: get us raid.
• 24:34
  Speaker 2: Yet would you not look better with us?
• 24:36
  Speaker 4: Right? Yet?
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Everybody does look better.
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: That?
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: Okay? You know what I backt that, I'm okay, sorry, sorry,
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: maybe he'll let you put lotion.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Bronzer. O.
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: Lord, Well, I have to say, it wasn't you know,
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: all for nothing? I told you before we were on
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: the air that you brought me so many giggles whenever
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: I saw you in any segment, whether it was on
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: the news or on eleanor wherever it was. So your
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: work was important. Thank you in just a different way.
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: And I love that you're focusing now and writing this
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: book together, and I think that readers are really going
• 25:20
  Speaker 1: to love it. Have you titled it yet?
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: Well, we have a working title, Love After Loss and
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: you know, but then we're going to have a little
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: bit more and yeah, I think it's important that we
• 25:34
  Speaker 3: share our story with others and that people do see that,
• 25:38
  Speaker 3: you know, there is life after terrible loss and grief
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: and whatever your loss is, if it's the loss of
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: a home with the fires that we've been akin to
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: in Los Angeles, or a job or God forbid, a child,
• 25:53
  Speaker 3: or a marriage, you know, or even your breast, whatever
• 25:56
  Speaker 3: it is, you can overcome it.
• 25:58
  Speaker 2: And our faith was our foundation.
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: Are you living in Los Angeles and Virginia now?
• 26:06
  Speaker 5: Yes?
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: Okay by coastal almost? Yeah, this is great. How do
• 26:11
  Speaker 1: you both or do you both still honor or? I
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: guess think about visit whatever it is for you your
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: late husband and wife. Do you do that separately. Do
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: you do that together?
• 26:26
  Speaker 3: Well, you know, we just went through Christmas, and one
• 26:30
  Speaker 3: of the things that we did. Tim's late wife passed
• 26:34
  Speaker 3: away around the Christmas season, which made it extra hard.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: And we were putting up the Christmas tree and we
• 26:44
  Speaker 3: were doing it together, and he came across a box
• 26:47
  Speaker 3: of ornaments and one was a beautiful ornament that had
• 26:51
  Speaker 3: Lisa's name on it and had been made for her.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: And he so sweetly said, you know, this was an
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: ornament that was recently to Lisa, and I don't want
• 27:03
  Speaker 3: to make you feel uncomfortable at all, so I'm going
• 27:05
  Speaker 3: to put it back away and keep it.
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: And I said, let's not.
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: Let's open it back up and let's put it on
• 27:12
  Speaker 3: the center of the tree. Because first off, this is
• 27:17
  Speaker 3: she built this family with Tim, and they built the
• 27:20
  Speaker 3: five children and the beautiful home. And I feel and
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: I really mean this. I know it sounds all, you know,
• 27:26
  Speaker 3: cheesy or whatever, but I feel privileged to be a
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: part of this family that Tim and Lisa built and
• 27:33
  Speaker 3: these beautiful children. And I want her always to have
• 27:36
  Speaker 3: a place of prominence in our lives.
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: I really do.
• 27:39
  Speaker 3: And she made him happy for forty seven years, so
• 27:42
  Speaker 3: I want to always thank her.
• 27:45
  Speaker 1: That's so beautiful, not really God really.
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: And the same with Jerry, and so you know, because Hunter,
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: you know, he's his dad, right, and so it's very important. Yeah,
• 27:56
  Speaker 4: you know, you still forget on, but you know, at
• 28:01
  Speaker 4: the same time, we're building a new life together.
• 28:03
  Speaker 5: So you know, it's you know, we just we just
• 28:08
  Speaker 5: kind of deal with it.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, what would you say to anyone listening out there
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: right now who is grieving the loss of a spouse
• 28:15
  Speaker 1: and thinks that there is no future for them as
• 28:18
  Speaker 1: far as another relationship or another love of their life.
• 28:21
  Speaker 4: I would say it's hard, but I was able to
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: bounce back, maybe a little more quickly than a lot
• 28:29
  Speaker 4: of people. And in my case, I was really pretty
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: pretty devastated because right to the very end, you asked
• 28:40
  Speaker 4: Kim the question, you.
• 28:41
  Speaker 5: Know, did Jerry say it's okay, you know, find somebody later.
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: We never had that conversation because right to literally the
• 28:51
  Speaker 4: day Lisa passed away, she was still doing the chemo
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: treatment and.
• 28:55
  Speaker 5: We were thinking she's going to get through it.
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: So we never had a discussion about while I'm going
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: goodbye kind of thing. And uh, you know, because she
• 29:03
  Speaker 4: I read to the very end. It was like, no,
• 29:05
  Speaker 4: you're not going anywhere, so uh and so I was
• 29:09
  Speaker 4: pretty devastated. And I also was kind of like, what's
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: the deal here?
• 29:13
  Speaker 5: You know?
• 29:13
  Speaker 4: And I mean I've been a very strong Christian literally
• 29:18
  Speaker 4: all my life, but I was sort of like question.
• 29:20
  Speaker 5: Well, gud, why where did you take her?
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: I mean, we we just got to a point where
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: we're having sort of fun, you know, and you know,
• 29:27
  Speaker 4: we we we there're a lot of trips together, we
• 29:30
  Speaker 4: you know, we you know, fair the exotic stuff, and
• 29:33
  Speaker 4: it was really a lot of fun and we're having
• 29:34
  Speaker 4: a great time.
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: And now she's gone. I'm on, you know, well I'm
• 29:38
  Speaker 5: not by myself my family, but they're not here.
• 29:41
  Speaker 6: And and I I began a much more intense study
• 29:49
  Speaker 6: of the Bible than I had up to that point,
• 29:52
  Speaker 6: and I really started reading through the songs.
• 29:53
  Speaker 5: And I read through the songs.
• 29:56
  Speaker 4: And it's it's almost like I suddenly had this phone
• 30:02
  Speaker 4: called a revelation.
• 30:03
  Speaker 5: That's a little too strong.
• 30:04
  Speaker 4: But I realized that grief had to was fine, you
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: have to grieve. But then I began to really appreciate
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: the life we had had, and the grief really moved
• 30:19
  Speaker 4: over and became joy, because I really began to become
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: more and more thankful for what we had experienced together,
• 30:27
  Speaker 4: and that was more important to me than feeling sorry
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: for myself.
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: It's gone when they say that, Yes, the gratitude is
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: what moves you forward, It really is.
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: And that's so that was a huge thing for me.
• 30:42
  Speaker 5: And as I moved into.
• 30:44
  Speaker 4: The sort of the gratitude stage, it just was able
• 30:49
  Speaker 4: to make me open to sort of a home new
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: series of things.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: And you know, she does that to me, You got seriously.
• 31:00
  Speaker 5: That's not a pot belly, but you know, it's so funny.
• 31:06
  Speaker 4: But you know, you know, well, I mean that's for
• 31:10
  Speaker 4: other people. I would say the same thing. You look
• 31:12
  Speaker 4: back on it and and start focusing on the good.
• 31:16
  Speaker 7: Stuff and the fun and the joy and and just
• 31:21
  Speaker 7: be thankful for what you had, because you know a
• 31:25
  Speaker 7: lot of people never even get that.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: And so if you if you look back and say, yeah, God,
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: you know, you gave me this great time with with
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: whomever it is, uh, and and thank you for it,
• 31:39
  Speaker 4: it gives you the ability to sort of move on.
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: And you know, and I realized I needed to move on. So,
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: you know, I had a couple of false stars.
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: But that's shall we go back there? Let's go back there.
• 31:53
  Speaker 1: I don't think he wants to. He's like I like
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: you too, are just horrible. I'm beyond happy for you.
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: Thank you both so much for coming on to share
• 32:06
  Speaker 1: your love story and why you should never give up
• 32:11
  Speaker 1: on finding love at any age or any stage of life.
• 32:14
  Speaker 3: That's right, Absolutely, that's our motto and we want to
• 32:18
  Speaker 3: share that.
• 32:19
  Speaker 2: So just never give up. It's always around the.
• 32:21
  Speaker 1: Corner, beautiful. Thank you so much for hanging out with you.
• 32:26
  Speaker 1: I have wonderful Thank you, Thank you soon, Kim.
• 32:30
  Speaker 2: All right, any bye bye.
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: Do you have an I Do Part two story you
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: want to share? Call us or email us. All the
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: Make sure to rate and review the podcast I Do
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is
• 32:48
  Speaker 1: the main objectives