Transcript

This Is Us! · Skirts Up!

0:00
Being a pregnant person in high school at this kind of school
0:04
where it's just not really acceptable and it's just not the norm, The
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girls that you're not friends with that are, you know, the popular girls and like
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the the cheerleaders and stuff, they got real fascinated with me real real
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fast because that 16 pregnant show was the thing that everyone
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watched and was obsessed with. Rise and shine, ladies. You're
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tuned in to skirts up with Samantha and Melissa. We got your daily dose of
0:27
hope and humor while we discuss everything from failing to succeeding and
0:30
all the spiciness in between. Hello.
0:34
Hello. This is Samantha. And this is Melissa. How are you today,
0:38
Sam? I'm great. How are you, Melissa? I am good. I'm
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most excited because I am here with you today, and we are recording
0:45
episode 1, This Is Us. Yeah. How does that make you feel? It's
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kind of exciting because even though we're friends and I know you, I
0:53
don't know you. And I'm really excited to kinda dig deep. Right.
0:57
We never like, I feel like it'll be a surprise of what comes out of
1:00
each other's mouths. I do too. Because we know each other, but Yeah. We can't
1:02
anticipate. No. You never know what's gonna
1:06
happen next. So, Melissa, can you explain why we're gonna start off
1:10
with, fail of the week in the beginning of each episode? Okay. Sure.
1:14
Oh, maybe I should have done a little research and found out the name of
1:16
the person who I'm about to talk about. But there was a person I heard
1:20
once giving a speech and he
1:24
was talking about he seemed kind of a psychiatrist. I'll look it up, you guys.
1:27
Don't you worry. We'll have a link link. Yeah. But he basically was
1:31
talking about how at the end of the day when he sits down with his
1:33
kids at dinner, he doesn't ask them to tell him what went well. He asks
1:37
them to tell him, what did you fail at today?
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So the whole idea is when we fail, that's a
1:45
chance for us to learn. It's a chance for us to grow, and it's also
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a chance for us to won't be okay with failing, honestly. Yeah.
1:52
Finding the positive because we're gonna fail. Shouldn't be failing,
1:56
but we should. And and we're all gonna we are I think all of
2:00
us feel like each day that we failed at something. We didn't do
2:03
something well enough or as best as we could and we didn't see something as
2:07
well in ourselves as we should. And so this is a way to,
2:11
share that fail. But what we learned from it What we learned from it. Yeah.
2:15
Because we wanna we're not just wanting to fail all over the place. Right? Like,
2:19
obviously, we wanna take it and turn it into something good. And not dwell on
2:22
it. Yeah. Like a lot of us do. Not be so hard on ourselves. I
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think that's what we're trying to really improve. That's a big part of it. I
2:28
agree, actually. That is a big part of it. So This first fail
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is actually a joint fail together. Yeah.
2:35
It was fun. So Melissa and I were
2:39
meeting each other and we are meeting to have a
2:43
conversation with, our friend, Lola. And
2:46
we're meeting with her to discuss, having her as a pop in host on
2:50
our show. So, prepare to meet her in the upcoming episodes. I
2:54
think y'all will enjoy her. She's a lot of fun. So,
2:59
Melissa's not there yet. I'm there first. I already feel like I'm late.
3:04
You feel like you're late and I'm not there. That's about right.
3:09
Well, Melissa time is fine. Yeah.
3:13
So I'm sitting there and my husband dropped me off because well,
3:17
I still can't drive and Why can't you drive? Because I got
3:20
seizures, y'all. Yeah. These things are we'll talk about it. We
3:24
will. And so I'm waiting on Melissa and I'm sitting there making sure I'm all
3:27
prepared and the server comes and gets a drink for me some coffee.
3:31
Get some coffee for Melissa. And then I'm sitting there and I go, fuck.
3:35
I haven't driven in so long. I didn't bring my wallet. How am I? Like,
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I can't pay. And so I'm like, oh, man. Okay. So I'm
3:42
late. And now, I can't pay. And I'm like, what am I gonna do?
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And then Melissa shows up. You're like, I'm pretty sure Melissa will get this. She's
3:50
she's gonna be fine. So I get there, and what
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happens first thing is I'm like, okay. So my
3:57
debit card's not working. Great. And,
4:01
honestly, I don't really remember what it was. It just has has I've got a
4:04
new bank account and just kind of, like, changing things over. There was some weird
4:07
stuff. I think what happened is I had just entered the wrong
4:11
PIN. And so I thought it wasn't working. But I ended up
4:15
calling the bank and sound so nice. Well well Wait. Is there
4:19
something I forgot? There is something you forgot. Oh, what happened? You forgot the most
4:21
important thing. Tell me. You forgot your phone. Oh, God.
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So I show up with my phone. I did. No card. You
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show up with your card that's not working. No phone. That's
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actually exactly what happened. See, I can't even
4:36
remember the feels. That's how good I am. It just sweep me right by
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nowadays. Perfect. But anyway yeah. So So I ended
4:44
up having to be like, Sam, can I use your phone? And I never wear
4:48
makeup, and I was all self conscious because I'm like, I think I'm getting makeup
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on our screen. Now you're soaking up my makeup. It's fine. You're so
4:54
sweet. But yeah. So I used her phone. I got my card going
4:57
and She paid for our lunch. That's alright, but it's okay.
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I kind of wanted to anyway because you were helping me out with something else
5:05
that day. Me. So the point is
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we failed collectively, but, collectively,
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we made a whole adult that day. We figured it out. Together.
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And here's the other thing too. Like, if you had been a little bit
5:20
judgmental of me, like, oh my gosh. We're here trying to have a
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meeting. We're trying to get our podcast going. She can't even remember her phone.
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I wouldn't have felt so comfortable being able to get it back
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together with you. Right? But you totally could have judged me and been like,
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this bitch didn't bring her card so that I would pay for her meal. Well,
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that's true. So I guess the lesson that we learned for me, the
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maybe the lesson that I learned is just to kinda, like, not be so
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harsh with ourselves or each other, and we're gonna work it out. We
5:51
can do this. We just gotta be calm. And then my favorite part was
5:54
to end the whole thing. I, my husband was very
5:58
sick, but but was nice enough to
6:02
drop me off. That day. Yeah. And then I was like, well, alright, guys. Peace
6:04
out. I'm gonna go call my Uber. Unless he goes, no. No. No.
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Get in my car. And I'm like, it's like an hour out of your way.
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And she was like, get in my car. And then, she made like You
6:15
make it sound like I kidnapped you? I mean, kinda. But then, I
6:19
make her do these, like, crazy, like, you know, drift maneuver
6:23
off the road, because I'm like, wait, that's my hair salon.
6:28
And she's like, where? And I go, right there. We're passing it. And she does
6:31
this. It, like, it went slide into the
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parking lot. And she goes, okay. What are we doing? And I was like, I
6:37
just need shampoo. But that's okay because I
6:41
really, really wanted to find a new stylist, so I think I'm gonna use your
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girl. Which Kayla's awesome. I can put drop her link there too.
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She's, a hairstylist. She's the blonde goddess as we call her, and she's
6:51
outside of, the Mall of Georgia. So she's great. I'll drop her link. She
6:55
would be happy to meet you. Oh, yeah. And so then we get into the
6:58
salon and I bring up my shampoo and I look at Melissa and I'm like,
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hey, sugar mama. Can I use your card again?
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And we did. We got you your shampoo. I've beenmoed her though. We even
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you she did. And we even remembered to get the shampoo out of the car
7:14
when you got home. We did. Alright. So today is, we
7:17
just want you guys to get to know us, and we wanna share a little
7:19
bit, about ourselves with you. And I'm sure we'll learn something new about each other
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as well, which is always fun. Yeah. So Melissa, I think that
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it'd be really exciting if you take the lead and you share how you got
7:30
here. Yeah. So to
7:34
this earth, I'm a man and a woman. No. No. Yeah.
7:37
No. No. No. Let's get the okay. But actually We all know that
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Adam ate the fucking apple, so let's just get that part.
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Okay. But I do actually wanted I did wanna say that
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even though we're skipping the conception part, she
7:52
just this might take I do think any good
7:56
story starts with the very beginning with mom and dad. So
8:00
I'll just tell you real quick, a little bit about my
8:03
upbringing. My dad and my mom, my dad
8:07
was 27 when he when they met. She was
8:11
19. He was kind of a rogue. Like, he had hitchhiked across the
8:14
country. Nice. He had hitchhiked he's from Kentucky.
8:18
He had hitchhiked out to Utah because his family had joined the Mormon
8:22
church when he was, like, 13. And,
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I think he was just kind of looking for like minded people or something because
8:30
that's what the church kind of, asks you to do.
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So he was out searching for, like, missionary work,
8:38
like, out searching for people to bring back with you? No. He was he was
8:41
still a rogue. Remind remember. Oh, gotcha. No. But I
8:45
think he was kind of looking for some happiness in life. Maybe he was looking
8:49
for a partner. He'd had some failed relationships,
8:53
and I think maybe he thought, oh, if I go to Utah, there's a lot
8:56
more Mormons, and I'll maybe find a wife there or something. Okay. And
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so I'm not saying that's why he went to Utah because I don't know. I
9:03
have not interviewed him as of late.
9:06
But he hitchhiked across the country, ended up in Utah. He
9:10
was just working, as, like, doing handyman
9:14
work for just for different construction companies and stuff. He met my mom.
9:18
She was 19. She, I think
9:21
she never had a chance. I think she kinda went for him because he's the
9:24
bad boy, honestly. I'll be honest. Yeah. She she was
9:28
born and raised Mormon. Yeah. So she had,
9:32
I wanna say, sheltered upbringing, but I'm not so sure. She had a hard one
9:36
because her mom died when she was 13. So I
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remember, like, her story, like, when she got her period, she thought she was dying.
9:43
Oh. Yeah. And she had to call, like, one of her older sisters to help
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her out. And so she didn't have, like, I don't know,
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the smoothest upbringing, but she
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so they met. They got married. Well, actually, I don't know. We apparently, we moved
9:57
14 time they moved 14 times the 1st year 2 years of my
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life. Before they planted the seed, or is this after? This is I was a
10:04
honeymoon baby. Actually, I might not have been
10:09
because I they got married in August, was born in
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April. I was is that 8 months? September,
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October, November, December, January, February, March, April. Yeah. That's 8 months.
10:20
Oh, holy cow. And I was also £12. Holy
10:24
smokes. So how are you gonna tell me I came early? I don't know. Oh,
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my. So they they're they always swore up and down
10:30
that I was a honeymoon baby because, you know, you do not have premarital sex
10:33
in the Mormon church. We moved a lot. My dad and mom, they had
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no money. He ended up joining the army to try to kinda make a
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make a living. So at that point, we moved to California. Until I was
10:44
about 6 or 7, life was pretty easy, pretty great, idealistic, in
10:48
my opinion. Sometimes, I don't know if it's just because that's how I remember
10:52
it because or Rose colored bosses. Like, always growing
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up. Right. Exactly. When I was about 8, things got kind of rough.
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And I just I kind of attribute it to just a lot of
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stress. We ended up moving back to Utah when I was 12.
11:07
And parents super strict in the church. I
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ended up going on a mission when I was 21. I
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I was sent to Japan. And when I was in Japan, I met my now
11:18
husband who we were always just friends.
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So this was in 2,000. I'm 43. I went when I was 21.
11:25
So you do the math. I will not because it'll
11:29
not be accurate. So Brett, was
11:33
19. And when we were out there, we met, and we made friends. And I
11:36
really liked him as a friend. Never really had any of the
11:40
remote romantic ideas, but we stayed friends all these years. I ended up marrying somebody
11:44
else. It did not quite work out, and we can talk about that some other
11:47
day. But, yeah, Brett and I
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reconnected again in 2017.
11:55
Yeah. I think. And I moved back out. I moved out here or not back
11:58
out here. I moved out here. And, yeah. Moved in with
12:02
him. Moved in with him. Let me tell you a funny story. My husband was
12:05
not happy about it. Her husband and my husband, they
12:09
were roommates for a long time. They're BFFs, you know, got that man love
12:13
affair thing going on. Simon even told me he's like, I
12:16
did not happy. Uh-huh. He was pissed. He's like, I don't like you. He told
12:20
oh, you tell. You tell. He's he said that Brett
12:24
asked if Melissa could bring a few things in her
12:28
pets into the house, because Brett was living in it by himself at that point.
12:32
Simon was with me. That sounds just like Brett. And Brett was like,
12:35
yeah. It's just a few things. Pets, like, yeah, that's it. And
12:39
Simon was Simon and I are pulling out of the house and Melissa
12:43
comes pulling in with a giant like the largest U Haul that you can
12:46
get. And Simon's staring at it. And he's looking at Brett
12:50
and he just leaves because he's like, I have nothing. I'm really not happy about
12:54
this. Where's all this stuff gonna go? Like, I'm trying to sell my house. See,
12:58
I didn't even know that part. It was trying to sell it. Brett is so
13:00
good at just not sharing the details. Yeah. Anyways,
13:04
well, there obviously, it wasn't a long hard feeling thing there over
13:07
at you. No. Well, I think we missed we kind of skipped
13:11
over, what made you end up moving back here. So
13:15
can you go back and share with us, that you ended
13:19
up leaving Mormonism after your mission? I should have
13:23
shared that. That is important. It's not a smoothie milestone of my life.
13:28
My whole life, I kinda had, like, a struggle with the
13:32
church. And there were times when I was a teenager when I just was like,
13:35
no. And I wouldn't go to church, but then I'd go back because there's a
13:38
lot of guilt put on you if you're not doing
13:42
the right thing. And so, I thought I was a bad person and I
13:46
would go back to church. And it was kind of a cycle thing like that
13:48
that I was going through. After my mission,
13:52
ever since I was little, I remember having actually, I would say this is probably
13:56
a pivotal thing. I remember having a friend who I
14:00
must have been in 2nd or 3rd grade because we were living in
14:03
Sacramento. And I remember her telling me the story about the
14:07
origin of the world, And she had Indian heritage,
14:11
American Indian heritage. I'm so sorry. And so she was telling
14:14
me, oh, yeah, it started with a piece of clay. And I have to admit,
14:18
I don't know where this origin story came from, but it was something that she
14:21
believed. It was something her parents taught her. And And I went home and I
14:24
told my mom and dad, and they were like, well, that's not true, you know,
14:28
because Mormons are very Christian. And so
14:32
I was like, well well, she believes it though. Is she lying? And they said,
14:36
no. She's not lying. She just doesn't she doesn't believe
14:40
she just doesn't have the truth that we have. And I thought, that's really weird.
14:44
So, like, how do you know it's true? How does she not know? How does
14:47
she like, everyone thinks that was my very first experience of
14:50
realizing that there's other truths in the world. There's a lot
14:54
of different beliefs in the world and who's to say
14:58
what is right and what's wrong. And that's probably something that obviously I'm 43
15:01
and it stuck with me all these years. So I would say
15:05
that is something that's always been in the back of my head.
15:09
So when I came home from my mission, from Japan.
15:13
Yeah. From Japan. I actually lived in South Carolina at
15:17
that point. I moved home there, because my parents had moved.
15:20
And they so yeah. So I don't
15:24
know. Like, I could say I tried to stay active in the church because I
15:27
thought that's what I was supposed to do, but I just had a hard time
15:30
with it. I've I've I've always kinda struggled with this since I was young, to
15:33
tell you the truth. The thing that made me actually get my name off the
15:37
records of the church to where I said I want nothing to do with the
15:40
church. And now, please, guys, we
15:43
know that there might be Mormons listening to this too.
15:47
And if that's the path you're on, that is I no judgment.
15:51
I have family members that are still very active
15:54
in the church. I love them and I think that we're all on our own
15:58
path. But I will say what happened for me was
16:02
I started doing a little bit of more research. I started realizing I could go
16:05
into a lot. There's that that's got to be another episode.
16:09
But, 2 things. One is they came
16:13
out with a proclamation telling a proclamation
16:17
saying, if you wanna be baptized, but your parents are
16:20
gay, you've got to denounce them. Oh my. Yeah.
16:24
Before you can get that baptized. And I just thought gotta choose between
16:28
religion or your parents? Yeah. I thought that was disgusting to me.
16:31
Interesting. And so it was it was like,
16:35
I'm sure there's, like, gray areas where we're like, yeah, you could still live. You
16:38
could still live with your family. Love the sinner. Hate the sin. I don't believe
16:42
in that. I think that because I don't think it's a
16:46
sin, by the way, to be gay. But anyway
16:50
yeah. So that was really hard for me to understand. And then that's when I
16:53
started doing even more research. And then I found out that the church
16:57
who prides themselves on being,
17:02
very philanthropic and giving money. And so, like, if there's
17:05
any kind of a disaster, they send all of the members of the church. We,
17:09
like, go there. I've been on so many service projects in my life, like
17:12
helping out, disasters, like Hurricane King Katrina and
17:16
stuff like that. And the church will send food and stuff like that.
17:21
And I realized all of that was done by the members of
17:25
the church. First of all, the church has 1,000,000,000.
17:29
The the food and money that they do provide, I found out was
17:33
less than what Walmart actually gives to charity.
17:37
Interesting. Yeah. In, like, according to, like, what they
17:40
actually own. So that kind of pissed me off. I thought, well, their
17:44
whole thing is to be loving and service
17:47
like like based on service. And they don't even donate as much as
17:51
Walmart does to charity. And that just it really
17:55
pissed me off. And so I just took my name off the records, and I
17:58
was like, I want nothing to do with the church. Okay.
18:01
That was that's only a peak. You know, obviously, there's a lot
18:05
more to it than that when you try to leave
18:09
something that you were raised in that
18:12
Yeah. Made And I'm sure there are several people that have had to break ties
18:16
with family members and religion as well. And I think that that would be,
18:20
like, another great episode to, get others feed in
18:23
and opinion on and have a whole dig into that. It wasn't
18:27
easy by any means. Like, I didn't even tell my parents for a couple years.
18:31
Mhmm. And then I found out that they had left too. And
18:35
that's what my story. I did not know that. Yeah. Yeah. It's very
18:39
interesting. So you broke up with religion and then you
18:42
moved to Georgia. Okay. So I broke up with religion, then I got
18:46
divorced, not because of that, but it didn't help. I'll be
18:50
honest. And then Brett and I lived in Texas at the
18:53
time. Brett lived in Georgia. And since
18:57
I was getting divorced, we kinda, like, reconnected. I
19:00
think he just knew I was going through some things and reached out to me.
19:05
And we also are super big geeks and we play we love board
19:09
games. And in Georgia, there's a convention.
19:13
It's a board game convention. It's called the board game geek convention,
19:16
and, they have it every year. And Brett wanted to come out to it for
19:20
the 2nd time, actually. But since we're reconnecting, he wanted to come out, and I
19:24
was like, yeah. Do. And then I started, like, oh, he's kinda cute. I think
19:27
I might like him. I don't know. And we kinda hooked up.
19:31
Nobody hooked up. Oh, cool.
19:34
Spicy. I know. Especially for a little Mormon girl.
19:39
But, because at this time, Brett had also dropped off of Mormonism.
19:42
But we did it separately, which I really like because
19:47
I think it can be really easy to just do something because your spouse does
19:50
it. Yep. If that makes sense. It came about. So he visited. We
19:54
went to the con together. I stayed with him in his hotel
19:57
room. Where it got spicy.
20:01
It did. It got really spicy. Okay. So
20:05
it's actually a funny story. So I want to hear share that. Yeah. I want
20:09
to hear about that one day. Yeah, we will. It's the beginning. Now the morning
20:11
spiciness. Oh, God. Well, we were both expo at
20:15
that point, and we both were not virgins anymore. But it
20:19
was still funny because you have, like, these deep seated, like, what I'm doing
20:23
isn't good feeling sometimes, but then that makes it all the more
20:27
alright. Anyway, moving on.
20:31
Brett went back to, Georgia, and we talked
20:35
on the phone, and it got to the point after about 6 or 7 months.
20:38
Got to the point where it was like, I needed to move out here or
20:42
what's the point? And apparently, I was just supposed to bring a few things and
20:45
then my pets. I didn't know that. And they brought my whole house, whole life.
20:50
Who's doing our whole life, as you should, moving in with a boyfriend? I mean
20:54
I mean, it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. I had no idea
20:58
that I didn't ask for it. I did say. It's Simon okay with this.
21:03
Anyway, so yeah. And then I met you. And
21:07
then from there, my understanding is that you found,
21:11
a a quilting shop and you became really
21:14
interested in
21:24
lab technician, my friend, one of my friends and I well, I said
21:28
one of my friends, but it was 2 team. And they came back from Amish
21:31
country and, and they're showing me pictures. And I was like, I always
21:35
wanted to make a quill, and she said I have to. And then I thought,
21:38
well, what's stopping us? So we ended up finding a
21:42
class by going online and finding out a quilt shop offered classes. I
21:45
didn't even know quilt shops existed. I literally thought you just get your
21:49
fabric at Joanne's and Same dude. Yeah.
21:52
Hancock's. I didn't know. I went into the quilt shop. I was probably
21:56
one of those annoying people. Now I know. Because
22:00
I was like, I wanna make that quilt. And they're like, that's not for beginners.
22:03
And I said, that's okay. I'm gonna do it anyway. And they're like, it's a
22:06
lot harder on our teachers, but whatever. But, yeah, I made
22:10
my first well, I made all the quilt blocks. I did not put them together
22:13
in a quilt. Then I kind of made some baby quilts on my own. And
22:17
then when I moved here, Brett's mom was a quilter, and I just didn't realize
22:21
that that was, like, one of her the loves of her life. And so when
22:24
I moved here and was looking for a job, she one of the other ladies
22:28
there was trying to move out on her own. And
22:32
so, they were trying to replace her, and they hired me,
22:36
and I loved it. I found out that these things called long arms
22:39
exist and they are 12 foot long,
22:43
frames with huge, like, 20 inch throat and
22:47
larger machine sitting on them that do the quilting of the
22:50
quilts. And then when that shop closed, I branched out and decided to open
22:54
my own. I will say this, I would not have done it if it weren't
22:58
for Jeannie Sullivan. Oh. She is the one who
23:02
owned a Georgia Sewing and Quilting, and she called
23:06
me multiple times and gave me pep talks. And she was basically saying,
23:09
look, you're buying my long arm when I close. And I was just gonna try
23:12
to quilt quilts for people. She goes, you're already a technician.
23:16
You really need to be a dealer. And I said Because how easy is it
23:20
to find a dealer? It's not common. It's not super common. I would
23:24
say there's a dealer here in, well, me in Suwanee,
23:27
and there's one in Marietta, and there used to be one in south of
23:31
Atlanta. She's not eating there anymore, though. So, yeah. So she
23:35
was like, look, you really need to do that. I said, but you have to
23:37
have a storefront. I don't know how I would ever do that. I don't have
23:40
the money to have a storefront. And she just basically
23:43
said, look, you're a strong woman. Things were hard for me. I
23:47
was homeless at one point in my life. Yes. And now she's this
23:51
businesswoman that and she just gave me
23:56
the motivation to at least just try. And so I got
24:00
an LLC, and I found a way to open a very
24:04
tiny 650 square foot storefront. And,
24:08
now this year, I've been in business about 2 years, and now we're gonna
24:12
be we've been doing a couple shows. We're gonna be in one of the
24:16
biggest shows in the area in March. So it's kinda crazy. It's at the
24:19
main arena for us too. Which arena is that? It's, Gas South is what it's
24:23
called now. It used to be Infinite Energy Center. Mhmm. Yeah. Nothing
24:27
changes all the time. Yeah. So every year it's called the Sewing and Quilting Expo,
24:30
and I get to be the handy quilter dealer there. Whoop whoop. I know.
24:34
Sounds like a a win. I know. It's kind of amazing
24:38
to think how far we can go with each
24:41
other because, again, sure, maybe I could have done all that on
24:45
my own, but I wouldn't have. I just I just wouldn't have in your
24:49
head. Yes. It was Jeannie. And so we need that person that we can share
24:53
like that back voice in our head and just, you know, kind of shrugging it
24:55
off and then someone will tell you, like,
24:59
I'm you'll get that handful of people that tell you like, oh, yeah. That would
25:02
be nice. Okay. But then I straight up had an old boss tell me
25:06
I was out in fucking left field because I wanted to become a dentist at
25:09
one point. And I think that that's just how it is. I think the majority
25:12
of people are like, yeah. Okay. Like Yeah. I know that I wouldn't be able
25:15
to do that and you sure can either. But it just takes that one
25:18
voice, that one person to be like, no. It's insane that you think
25:22
that because you can do it. Like Yeah. It is yours. You just gotta make
25:26
it happen. Yeah. It's true. And you did. Well,
25:30
thank you. So your quilt shop is called the Oh, yeah.
25:33
It's called A Crafted Cottage. I wanna
25:37
get some shirts that say craft your cottage. I think that would be so
25:41
cute. Yeah. Yeah. We like to support as many of the local ladies as we
25:44
can here. So That is. Actually, that's one of the main reasons we try to
25:48
we decided to start this. Yeah. So we partnered partnered.
25:52
We're, you know, cross referencing with several of the ladies
25:55
around us, and they all make some really beautiful stuff. So
25:59
Yeah. You can check their links out there. Melissa will have the Crafted Cottage link
26:03
down there if you wanna learn about quilting. If you live nearby and We do.
26:06
Wanna check it out. Or if you have any questions and you may not live
26:09
nearby, she can probably help you find a shop near
26:13
you to learn. Absolutely. Absolutely. Give me some tips. She's gonna start doing some
26:17
videos and posting them on how to even start, and that's really
26:20
helpful. So how do you get here? How did I
26:24
get here? What's here? Like, in your house? Skirts
26:27
up. Skirts up? Okay. This is the fun part.
26:31
Okay. It was you. Another one.
26:35
Another situation no. Don't even. She's gonna try to be, like,
26:39
okay. But remember here, we're trying to save face with my friends, so
26:42
cut that out. Melissa
26:47
was What happened is I said I've always wanted to
26:50
start a podcast, and my friend Sam said, yeah,
26:54
me too. And I was like, again, oh god. It's the same thing
26:58
in reverse. It is the same thing as I've always wanted to make a
27:01
quilt. Yeah. Me too. And then what's
27:05
stopping us? And then literally, it was
27:09
Sam. I have said that so many times in my life. Like, I kinda wanna
27:12
do a podcast. How well,
27:16
she texted me. She goes, here's some mentors. Here's this. Here's that. I'm
27:19
doing research on the equipment that we
27:23
need, this this stuff. And I was just
27:27
So are you in? I know. And I was like, oh, damn. She's serious.
27:31
I mean, I was serious that I would
27:35
do it, but I obviously wasn't serious serious enough to, like, you know,
27:39
get to it. And she did. She got to it, and it was I'm very
27:42
proud of you. Oh, thanks. Yeah. I'm very proud of you because this
27:45
has been well, first of all, huge learning curve, and we'll probably
27:49
still keep learning. It's been so fun. It has been
27:53
fun. And I'm just excited to be able to hopefully bring other women
27:57
together and just, like, give you guys the nudge that you need
28:01
to That is what our community, our face Facebook, our social media
28:05
community will be. It's gonna be like that voice to give each other, like,
28:09
yeah. You can. Do it. Because I was there and I did it.
28:13
Because there's always gonna be that one person. You're you're never the only. So you
28:16
tell me then. I said I always wanna start a podcast and you're like,
28:20
yeah, me too. What made you tell us how you got
28:23
here. I wanna know where you came from. Well, I
28:27
mean, nothing significant growing up. We moved around a lot
28:30
too, but not I mean, not because we're military or
28:34
anything. We just if I moved around to like 8 different states about
28:39
and then once I was in middle school, we landed in Georgia. And
28:43
that's just where where I stayed. And then when I was
28:47
in high school, I ended up having a baby.
28:51
So I was that 16 and pregnant person, not on
28:55
the TV show. That'd be wild.
28:59
But, so yeah. So I was my
29:02
junior year, the end of my junior year, pregnant when
29:06
I started the show and I just had
29:10
some teachers pull me inside and be like and just straight up
29:14
ask me like, are you pregnant? And then, you know, not gonna lie. I
29:17
mean How did you like tell us more. I
29:21
mean, did your mom knew already and you guys just hadn't told
29:25
anyone else? Or Oh, yeah. My mom knew before I started showing.
29:29
Keep it? My mom knew I was pregnant before I started showing. I told
29:32
her, I actually found out I was pregnant on my
29:36
birthday. Wow. Yeah. So that
29:39
was, birthday surprise. But, How did
29:43
your mom handle it? It sounds like you had a good relationship. We had a
29:46
good relationship. We were living on our own. She had separated from my
29:50
dad for like the first time, maybe. And,
29:54
so we're living on our own and she was really upset and really bummed. And
29:57
I, you know, I think like any mom that has high hopes from
30:01
their kid, like had that in the back of their head of like she doesn't
30:04
have to do this. She doesn't have to have a baby. Like you're in high
30:08
school and you you got things to do. But I was like, I don't know
30:11
that I want to consider that. Yeah. It's is what it
30:15
is. She supported you in what you wanted to do. Yeah. Keeping the baby.
30:19
So I decided to keep him. And so I started showing
30:22
the end of my junior year. Teachers were pulling me aside and,
30:26
you know, would ask me if I'm pregnant. I had one teacher straight up
30:30
telling me that I don't belong in the school if I'm gonna be pregnant.
30:33
Really? Yeah. Now that person has stuck with me and I actually saw that
30:37
teacher when I was
30:41
I was engaged and me and my bridesmaids were out at,
30:45
in Walmart and we were goofing off. We were getting some alcohol, just goofing off
30:49
in the store. And I remember I was wearing a crop top and I remember,
30:52
like, turning a corner, an aisle and becoming face to face with
30:56
that teacher that told me he did not approve of me being in school and
30:59
did a lot that he could to make sure I didn't graduate. Oh my god.
31:03
Yeah. And I remember just stopping in my tracks and we're just face to face
31:06
and I'm like looking at him and I'm like, yeah, this dude probably thinks that
31:10
I went real far. Here I am in a grocery store, no baby in a
31:13
crop top with alcohol in my hands and I just turned around real fast and
31:17
it was just like that freeze freeze sponge. You didn't know what to do? Fight
31:19
or flight? Yep. It was I got the the freeze and,
31:23
I left the store real fast. Man. And you
31:27
I don't know. If it was me, I'd be like, man, I wish I said
31:30
this. I wish I did that. Or do you just feel like,
31:34
no. It was best. I don't know. I just I don't know. It
31:37
just is what it is. That's just who he was. And so
31:41
then I'm still I'm obviously mega pregnant when senior year starts.
31:45
So there is no secret there. And then also I
31:49
have special treatment that I get to leave. My classes are really, because I'm so
31:52
big and I need to like waddle through the hallways before everyone else gets out
31:55
there. I remember being so
31:59
embarrassed because people would look at me and like, you know, make faces
32:03
and, you know, point, oh, there's the only pregnant girl in the
32:06
school. Yeah. And, so I was an ROTC and all the
32:10
ROTC ROTC boys would they, like, would make arrangements
32:14
behind my back and 2 of them would always be near my classroom
32:18
at all times interview? To walk me to my next class. And you didn't know?
32:22
I didn't know that they had arranged. I would just always be like, oh, why
32:24
are y'all here? And they're like, oh, well, we just run into you. God
32:28
makes my heart melt. They saved me. Yeah. I would always have 2 guys walk
32:31
me to class because they didn't, you know, they wanted to make sure that, behind
32:35
my back, they'd they'd, like, stay kinda behind me. And then if anyone, like, gave
32:38
me looks and I wouldn't even notice, they'd be giving them mean mean mugs. And
32:41
I'm like Okay. Don't you dare. Loved it. I
32:45
was really close with my friends. Just about all of my
32:49
teachers would send me to principal's office any chance that they
32:52
got. So if I like walked into my classroom while the bell was
32:56
ringing, they'd be like, go get a, a late
33:00
tardy slip. Oh my God. And so that would happen so often. If
33:03
I looked at a teacher wrong, spoke to a teacher wrong, if I was wearing
33:07
2 shirts, like highly covering
33:10
my chest, they I would get sent to the principal's office. And so
33:14
I was getting sent out of class so much for normal things that everyone does
33:18
and like the rules were just somehow like more aggressive for me. I guess remember
33:21
we're in the cell, then it's just a little more. And this is one of
33:24
those high rated schools, in Georgia. And so I would get so much
33:28
that I would then end up in detention, like mega pregnant after
33:31
school. And, and I had one teacher and she
33:35
was she was really cool. We're still, you know, follow each other on social
33:39
media. She was like the one person that would come and sit with me and
33:42
ask me how I'm doing. And if I needed, like, to leave
33:46
class early, if I needed like something extra, she would always pull me
33:49
aside, chitchat with me, tell me how special it is that like
33:53
I'm still here and that I'm pregnant and I can still do it and then
33:56
I'm gonna graduate. And, I mean, what the fuck? Like, pregnant
34:00
mothers need an education too. Like, does he I'm
34:03
so mad at that other teacher. Does he not care about the future? I mean,
34:06
but it wasn't just him. It was many teachers holding him to the I'm so
34:10
glad that you had her. Did you feel like she kind of like, obviously,
34:13
you remember her still today. She was very compassionate. One of the
34:17
things that I remember is that she had shared
34:21
that, you know, she can she feels this compassion
34:24
because, she does have a strong religious belief, but also she had
34:28
been trying many years to have a baby with her husband and it wasn't hell
34:31
like happening. And so she was kind enough to,
34:35
you know, be like, okay, well, you know, this child
34:39
is having a child, but I'm still gonna help where I can and support that.
34:43
And I think that was really special in it. And I remember it just it's
34:46
always made me like, just a little emotional because then she ended up
34:50
I'm getting chills. She ended up she has 2 babies now. And
34:54
so when I found out that she was having her first baby, I was like,
34:57
yes. Oh my gosh. She deserves it. That's amazing. So, yeah,
35:00
so now she's got 2 babies. She's back in school. Do you feel
35:04
like you could have dropped out if it weren't for her? Well,
35:07
honestly, my mom wouldn't let me drop out. Your mom was that person? Yeah. Because
35:11
there was one at one point, where I was like, I you know,
35:15
I don't know that I have to put up with this. I think that I
35:18
I can just get a GED and call it a day. And my mom put
35:21
a quick stop to that. She said, absolutely not. But you know, that
35:25
teacher, you know, was the one nice teacher for me.
35:29
So So it wasn't pure torture. Yeah. There's at least that. And then it did
35:32
get to the point, so I have so I come back to school the
35:36
second half of my senior year, after having my
35:39
babe and, not pregnant.
35:43
And I will say that then, I got a lot more
35:47
respect from teachers, when I came back because now I'm not
35:50
pregnant. I don't look pregnant. I'm still there and my grades actually got
35:54
even better while I was on maternity leave. All my grades went up to A's.
35:57
Wow. Yeah. Really weird. Teachers were supportive when I
36:01
came back. And another student ended up getting pregnant, the
36:05
second half of our senior year. And some of the teachers were being
36:09
a little more supportive to her and she had shared like, oh, I'm,
36:12
I'm not keeping this baby. It's gonna go up for adoption. Like I'm not doing
36:16
it and I'm going to drop out of school because I don't want this kind
36:19
of treatment and I don't want to be like this. And,
36:23
and I had a teacher come up to me and say, hey, Samantha,
36:27
you did you were pregnant for, you know, 2
36:31
halves of a year. You are no longer pregnant and you're gonna graduate in a
36:34
couple of months. Can you get the student to hang in there a few
36:38
more months? Yeah. And I was like, I can try. And so then
36:42
teachers were believing in me that I could make a difference in someone and
36:46
get them to stay through school. I will say I cannot remember if she graduated,
36:49
but, I do remember
36:53
that my cousin was actually going to adopt her baby and that was,
36:57
a long process. And then, unfortunately
37:00
fortunately, unfortunately, when the baby was born, she did decide to
37:04
keep the baby. That would be really Yeah. So but,
37:08
you know, the baby would stay with its with its mom.
37:11
So happy ending there. But then there's still
37:15
that negative. There were still a lot of negative experiences.
37:19
So I'm I'm just stuck at home all the time.
37:22
Not leaving anywhere. Really not leaving my computer because it was a lot
37:26
harder to do schoolwork at home. A not so great
37:29
story, that I remember from high school after having a
37:33
baby was, I remember my mom encouraged me and
37:37
my son's dad to take me out to a football game. My son's dad
37:41
already graduated. He was a year older than me. And, so we
37:45
go to this football game. And being a pregnant person
37:49
in high school at this kind of school where it's just not really
37:52
acceptable and it's just not the norm, The girls that you're not friends with that
37:56
are, you know, the popular girls and like the the cheerleaders and stuff,
38:00
they got real fascinated with me real fast because that 16 pregnant show
38:04
was the thing that everyone watched and was obsessed with. And now
38:07
like live vicariously through the whole Yep. So now they know unfair.
38:12
They're almost like yeah. How does that make you feel? It was Double edged sword.
38:15
It was interesting that, you know, these people would start talking to me and they
38:19
actually, like, would hang out with me. And that was really weird because I definitely
38:23
had a whole different type of friend group. I remember one of the cheerleaders, she
38:26
was like, come like, you know, if you ever can come to a football game,
38:29
please Like, you know, I would love for you to meet my mom. And so
38:33
my mom encouraged us to go out to the football game. We go to the
38:35
football game. We go down to the fence where where she is and
38:39
she's cheerleading. And she gets real excited to see me and she's waving in the
38:42
stands. And then she's like pointing to the sign. She goes, that's my mom. And
38:45
so then there's like a tap on my shoulder and I like turned around and
38:48
this lady goes, hey, I'm her mom. And, I
38:52
think she wants me to come say hi to you. And I was like, oh,
38:55
hi. I was like, yeah, I'm Samantha. And her mom goes with this
38:59
flat, disgusted face goes, oh,
39:03
and walks away. Why did she want
39:07
you to meet her mom? I don't know. I don't know if
39:10
she thought that her mom wouldn't react like that or or or what. I
39:14
don't know. See, I was expecting it was gonna be like, oh, my mom
39:18
can relate to you because I was born No. It was
39:21
that, oh. That's weird because my thought is
39:25
like, did she not know her mom very well? Like, you know,
39:29
growing up really young with a young child, that's
39:33
probably news for another story. You get all kinds of judgmental looks. All
39:36
the there's comments that have stuck with me being, you know, just being
39:40
out in public with a with a baby. But anyhoo, so
39:44
Can I just share something small? I remember being
39:48
probably 14 or 15, and one of the girls at church, she was a little
39:52
older than me. She was 15 or 16, got pregnant, and she
39:56
was shunned. And I don't shunned is a harsh word
39:59
because I know there are some religions that actually shunned. You are not allowed to
40:03
talk to that person. This was more of kind of a, like,
40:09
not a true Shunning, but you didn't talk to her.
40:12
Right? You weren't supposed to. And I remember being
40:16
friends with her and I
40:20
still talked to her. I didn't know her that well, to tell you the truth,
40:23
but I would go over and visit her and try to just stay her friend
40:26
so that she kind of felt some support. And I just remember
40:29
thinking, like, that could be any of these girls. Like, I hadn't had
40:33
secondhand. Okay. It's not because I was a good girl. It's just because I wasn't
40:37
cool. Yeah. There was a girl that she she was
40:41
known as one of the stronger souls in in the school and,
40:45
she knew that everyone's talking badly about me. And so one time she's
40:48
like, let me walk you outside. And I'm like, oh,
40:52
okay. And someone looks at me wrong and she goes, oh, don't
40:56
act like you're not fucking having sex too. You just haven't gotten caught. Thank you.
40:59
And that's exactly what I was gonna say. I was like, it could be any
41:01
of these other girls. You guys are doing the same shit, and
41:05
then you're gonna act like she's this horrible person and Yeah. Should be going
41:09
to hell or whatever it is. And
41:13
she did the exact same thing you're doing. It's just that hers is showing. Yep.
41:17
Yeah. Just different life experiences. But,
41:22
yeah. So I had a baby in high school,
41:26
ended up not staying with high school baby daddy,
41:30
living on my own for a small amount of time,
41:34
dated my current husband for, you know, like a
41:37
month and then I ghosted him. That's true. Both of our husbands we had in
41:41
our lives and then kinda like But I ghosted him.
41:45
Later. You did. It's true. You guys actually dated. Brett and
41:49
I Kinda. I mean, is that what you call, like, just Going on a date.
41:52
Night night nightly get together gathers. Is that Hook ups? I
41:55
mean Booty calls? I guess. I don't know. I think that's what I was. You
41:58
could probably call that date. Anyhoo, I ghosted him. Ended
42:02
up Why'd you ghost him? Are we not showing that on here? I mean,
42:06
he just he has a lot of dogs. There is a lot of dogs. There's
42:10
a lot of dog hair, and I'm a clean freak. But I mean, I have
42:13
like he was really sweet. He made me dinner one time with, and I
42:17
brought brought the babe over and he made us dinner. And I just remember getting
42:20
there and there's a freaking husky on the dinner
42:24
table. And then he brings the food over to the table and then there's
42:27
fucking dog hair still on the table and I'm just staring at the dog hair
42:31
and I'm like, oh, no. And then, like,
42:34
anytime, anytime I woke up in his house, like, it doesn't
42:38
matter where I put my underwear. The fucking dog would buy my underwear and
42:41
eat it. Eat it. Eat the crotch out. And I was
42:45
like, why? Like, I could hide it in the bed and this
42:49
fucker would find it and eat my underwear. Damn, Falkor.
42:52
But oh, Falkor was the one. Oh, he was so dumb and
42:56
sweet, though. He was so dumb. Anyhoo. Yeah. So
42:59
ghosted him. I ended up, having a baby with another sweet
43:03
soul, that didn't last more than 3 years
43:07
and, decided that I just had other
43:10
plans and other other thoughts for life. And so I
43:14
served for a few years and then A server?
43:17
I was a server and restaurant. Oh, yes. Couple of restaurants. Did that
43:21
for several years. And then, my daughter's dad. So he
43:25
ended up taking over kind of that father role for for my first high
43:29
school baby. So he is who we call the dad of of both of those
43:32
children. So he really took that role and was So much so that for a
43:35
long time, I thought he was both of their staff. I think
43:39
most people do if they don't know, because he is daddy to both of
43:42
them and he you know, we're not together anymore. And on the weekends, he takes
43:46
both of them every other weekend, as his own kids. Well, before
43:50
we we split up, he took Andrew took me to the aquarium because I just
43:53
had this, like, passion. I wanted to see dolphins and the
43:57
Georgia Aquarium had just gotten dolphins for the first time and they had a had
44:00
a dolphin show. And so he takes me to this dolphin show and I'm
44:04
sitting in the audience and I'm just balling at this magical existence. And
44:08
then after the show, there's the trainers out and they wanna meet you and they
44:09
talk to you and they answer questions. And so he, like, makes me
44:18
talk to me. Like, what am I gonna say? And,
44:22
he goes, well, what does it take to be a dolphin trainer out
44:25
there? And the girl goes, oh, well, it's, it's not that hard. You
44:29
actually just need at least 3 years experience of working with any animal,
44:33
just animals in general. And then you apply and see if you get
44:37
it. And I was like, okay. Went
44:40
home that day and I started applying to a bunch of animal hospitals thinking that,
44:44
oh, I'll just be some kennel help somewhere for 3 years and see if that's
44:47
enough. And, animal hospital interviewed
44:50
me and they didn't give me a kennel job. They gave me basically,
44:54
an assisting veterinary assisting, tech job.
44:58
And so I was actually hands on caring for animals, learning
45:02
how to draw blood and run tests and labs and
45:05
communicating with clients and being educated on on pet health and how to care
45:09
for them. And I did that for many, many years. Ended
45:13
up being someone who opened up a franchise pet
45:16
resort with 5 departments on that. And
45:20
I I rocked that. I rocked both those jobs. I was real good at it.
45:25
And then took a break from working to have my 3rd child,
45:28
second daughter, and that is mine and Simon's little red
45:32
headed fireball. Took a little break and then I became
45:36
a practice manager at another animal hospital for a little bit of time.
45:39
And that was short lived. I was really struggling trying to figure like
45:43
postpartum depression is real, guys. That was it was
45:47
tough. And so, you know, I had marital stuff going on, had,
45:51
you know, the stressful job going on, had this baby
45:54
and that was probably the hardest baby I've had. And She
45:58
has a will. She she is. She's red headed. She has how she has
46:02
a very strong will. I love her now. I quit that
46:06
job and then I was staying home and it's been 2 years. And then by
46:09
the time I start, you know, within those 2 years, it's just
46:13
depressing working your whole life and being home and just not knowing like where
46:16
places and what you're gonna do. And like I being a single
46:20
mom for a lot of my life, I was the provider. It took a lot
46:23
to even feel like I can accept Simon to be the sole
46:27
provider. And so that was kind of depressing too. I felt like I needed to
46:30
be a provider too. But I also needed to take time and figure out what
46:33
am I doing with my life? It was just 2 years of sitting around the
46:37
house and then, you know, I finally decide like, okay, I'm gonna I'm gonna find
46:40
a job. I mean, sitting around the house is strong. You
46:44
were raising your children. Stay at home moms, I'm sure it's not
46:47
it's not, some people I'm just gonna I just get throw that out
46:51
there. No. I think there's 2 different people, and there's 2 different ways to view
46:55
it. Yeah. I have always known I'm not a stay at home mom. But, you
46:58
know, some of my best friends, like, they wish that they were a stay at
47:01
home mom and they are good at it when they're given the opportunity. That, I
47:05
just meant knowing you, you weren't sitting around the house. No. I was
47:09
depressed. I was doing a lot of sitting around. Okay. Sure. Yeah. That's
47:12
another story. A lot of sitting around, just staring at walls as I call it
47:16
to my therapist. Yeah. And as you said, you knew that stay at home mom
47:19
wasn't big for you and that's gonna even make it worse. Yeah. So
47:23
then I had decided, like, okay. I'm gonna find I'm gonna find a job that
47:26
I'm gonna find some passion in again and it's time. And my husband is supportive
47:29
of that. And we go on vacation. I like have had
47:33
this strong desire to, see
47:37
more ocean ocean life in their natural habitat.
47:41
And so I planned out what countries in the migration path
47:44
of different types of whales. And it so played out that,
47:48
we could go to Costa Rica and we could see, it was the time of
47:51
year where humpback whales were going to give birth. And
47:55
so Simon was sweet enough and booked that trip and
47:59
wasn't took us 4 or 5 attempts to get to Costa Rica.
48:03
During COVID? Yeah. COVID and then, it's like a
48:07
sickness. And then, the flight just got canceled in general and it was just
48:11
a whole process. Took about 5 attempts, but we finally,
48:15
after a couple of years, made it to Costa Rica. We got to see the
48:19
migration part where the whales are giving birth
48:23
and it was magical. And that's we finally make
48:27
it there. And our 2nd day in Costa Rica is when my seizures start happening
48:30
out of the country, doing this magical thing that we've been trying to do for
48:33
years. And so, you know, that was the first time we're like,
48:37
okay, I don't know what happened, But okay. Something weird happened. It
48:41
keeps happening on this trip, keeps happening, and then we come home and
48:44
we're like he takes me to the hospital the next day because the next day
48:48
after we get home from Costa Rica, I have another episode. And this
48:52
time, he's sure you're having seizures. And so he takes me to the hospital. We
48:55
end up in the hospital for 5 days. No one can figure out what's going
48:59
on. And so here we are, 6 months later, still having
49:03
seizures. So, you know, then that's that leads you into a whole another realm
49:06
of depression of like, man, I was finally ready. I was about to like
49:10
get a life back because, you know, I I have a life. Don't get
49:14
me wrong. Like, I just haven't always appreciated getting to stay home
49:18
and, you know, that's that's on me. Like he said it I wouldn't even say
49:21
it's on you. Like, it's just you. Many people would be very thankful
49:25
and grateful to be able to stay home and raise their children. But it doesn't
49:28
mean you're doing something wrong for having different kids. It doesn't mean I'm doing something
49:31
wrong. But I could have embraced it more and taken that
49:35
as a more joyful thing to do Okay. With my last baby Gotcha. Which
49:39
is something that I really should have done. Probably learn from that actually.
49:42
Yes. Because there's things that, like, I think I'll be happy when if I
49:46
can have a child. Right? No. You gotta reframe that mind. He needs to appreciate
49:50
enjoy appreciate the situation I'm in now. And it's easier said than done. It is
49:53
because, you know, this is hindsight. But here we are again. Now I'm having seizures.
49:57
Physically cannot work. Physically cannot do anything. And so that leads us
50:01
to, you know, here, I'm sitting at home, I'm depressed. I'm trying to
50:04
find joy in raising this my last baby. And I'm finding some joy in
50:08
it now. And, you know, I'm starting to appreciate it, but I'm
50:12
I literally can't do anything. We never know when a seizure is gonna happen and
50:14
we don't know what the trigger is and we don't know what the right medication
50:16
is yet. And so now here I am stuck at home, but this time I
50:19
can't even leave the house. So literally stuck at home with this
50:23
hard wheeled baby. And so Melissa mentions,
50:27
you know, on on New Year's when we're getting together, like, I always
50:31
wanna do a podcast. And then I'm like, bet. Alright.
50:36
That gives me something that I can be hands on with and, like, I can
50:39
control that. Oh, and you have done so good. Like,
50:43
I just was talking on my ass a little bit. Not really. Like, yeah, I
50:47
always have wanted to, and I feel like I have a lot of things I
50:50
can share. Granted, I mean, a lot of things I can learn still too,
50:53
but you took the reins and you It gave me
50:57
something to write. It was amazing. It gave me something that I could put my
51:00
brain to when my brain allows me and do something. Yeah. And so
51:04
that's where we are. This is something that I can do as my brain allows
51:07
me and stay at home and raise the baby. And so as long as I'm
51:11
well enough, I got it. So it's been fun.
51:15
Yeah. Yeah. But that's how I how I got here. Oh, it's funny. I
51:19
see that one of your notes is about missing out on the real party phase.
51:22
I always felt that way too because of how my religion was so
51:25
strict. For me, it was hard because my living
51:29
arrangements were very, very limited. I
51:33
have very little money. I'm a server, single mom with a tiny
51:36
human. So even a basement apartment, $800, like, that's really
51:40
tight. It's tight space wise. It's tight money wise.
51:44
And not to mention, I got myself a shepherd,
51:48
because I just A German shepherd. A German shepherd. A a man who
51:51
watches shepherd. I got myself a shepherd. Her name is
51:55
Ada and she's my whole life, but now she's old. That was very
51:59
limited. Obviously, German shepherds aren't welcome also into very many places.
52:03
And sometimes I feel when I think about high school, I missed out on
52:06
the party phase that everyone else has. The going out, you know,
52:10
interacting
52:18
And to to that man and, that
52:22
didn't work out. And you were very young. I was very young and it just
52:26
wasn't ready. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I hadn't ghosted him
52:29
because he was a great man, but I still felt immature. I mean, he
52:32
was like 25, 28 and I was like
52:36
18, 19. It's kind of a large age gap in maturity
52:40
as well. And I just didn't feel like I was ready to have
52:43
adult conversations and just didn't feel
52:47
like my maturity was there. And, you know, in hindsight, I don't think his maturity
52:50
was there either. And and in the long run, we both think that we probably
52:53
wouldn't have worked out had we not split apart. Interesting, because
52:57
I also will think, what if I had just met? What if no. Brett and
53:01
I didn't. What if we had just tried, and why didn't we try to connect
53:04
more? But, and then
53:08
I wouldn't have married the other person that I married, and I don't
53:12
think we're ready. We just weren't ready. We weren't the same person people that
53:16
we are now. First of all, we might still be struggling, like, should we leave?
53:19
Should we not leave the church? Because there's 2 of us now trying to make
53:23
that decision. I just yeah. And then you also made me think of
53:27
how my mom because my dad was 27. My mom was 19.
53:30
And I think we can both leave it at
53:34
we had examples that we did not want to be.
53:37
Yeah. And I think that maybe the
53:41
reason my mom is still in the situation she's in is because
53:45
she chooses it because it's comfortable. And I don't wanna
53:49
do that. I wanna learn from that. Yeah.
53:53
That was a side note, but I think it is something that's kind of important.
53:57
So sometimes you wonder what it would have been like if you and Brett would
53:59
have stayed together. Is there anything Or gotten together Gotten together Like,
54:03
organically. Yes. Is there anything else you would have changed
54:07
or in hindsight, you're glad nothing did?
54:11
I have some small regrets. I kind of
54:15
maybe wish that I was younger just for the fact that we both do wanna
54:19
have a family, and, we are struggling
54:22
with, trying to conceive. And it's
54:26
very expensive to do IVF, so we haven't gotten to that point yet. We're
54:30
anyway sometimes I think yeah. We're winging
54:34
it. Sometimes I do think, yeah, I wish it happened when we were younger. I
54:37
wish we got together when I was younger, but I don't know that
54:41
it would have been like I said, he's a completely different
54:45
person. He had to go through a phase and he had to go through his
54:48
party phase with my husband. That. Maybe once in a while, we'll have him on
54:52
here and just kinda share that, but he did. He had
54:56
to have his his his time of just having fun
55:00
and experiencing things that he didn't get to experience
55:04
growing up in the church. And I guess I I
55:07
know I learned a lot. I mean, how can you not getting married and divorced?
55:14
Obviously, I still am, like, far from the human that I
55:17
want to be, but I have yeah. I think I
55:21
wouldn't change anything. I'm I'm happy. I'm happy how
55:25
my life is going, honestly. Good. I think the only thing
55:29
that I still would have changes. I wish that I would have been able to
55:31
reframe that mind and appreciate getting to raise my last
55:35
baby fully. Yeah. That's the only thing I wish that I would have done better
55:39
if I had to pick something. But other than that, no. Nothing. I suppose
55:43
I can agree with that. I just if I had to change anything, it would
55:45
be my frame of mind in the times. Yeah. I think that's what we all
55:48
would probably agree on. Yeah. It's not what's happened to us. It's the frame of
55:52
mind that we put on it. A 100%. I mean, that's a fair I remember
55:55
I can look back and see things where I thought at the
55:59
time, oh, it's something as simple as your body image. Right? I remember
56:03
thinking that I hated my body when I was in my early twenties. That's
56:06
really cool. Fine. There wasn't anything wrong with it. And if I
56:10
could have that body now, I would be so happy. So I do wish that
56:14
I could just, you know Appreciate what you thought when you got it. Yeah.
56:18
That. But, I don't know if it's always it's not always possible. It's just
56:21
not. We sometimes have to go through those hard and rough times to get to
56:24
the point where we learn to appreciate. Yeah. But that's why we got each
56:28
other. Alright, guys. I think that that wraps us
56:32
up for today's show and I really hope you guys enjoyed and thank you for
56:35
bearing with us as we got through our first Our
56:39
recording time. I'm really excited for this community that we're about
56:43
to build. Yes. I can just see it now. I wanna see
56:47
more of you guys coming and telling and sharing us with your stories
56:51
and maybe things that you would have changed in your past Things you agree with.
56:55
Wouldn't have. Things you don't agree with because we don't agree
56:59
all the time with Yeah. What we think and hear and that's a fun conversation.
57:03
And so, you know, what we hope is to have just a supporting,
57:06
loving community where we can agree to disagree, support each other and
57:10
We're all together. You're not alone and find all these people that can come together
57:14
and help each other out. You know, a lot of us want to be
57:17
home with our children. So, we have these side hustles to make money and,
57:22
this is also another great way that we can help support the other moms who
57:25
do that. We're really excited to share on, like, some of these businesses. We've got
57:29
some really exciting, I guess, interviews that are coming up.
57:33
We'll see you next time. See you next time. Don't forget to like us on
57:36
social media. Don't forget to share your story with us on social media. That's really
57:39
what we want. We wanna hear from you. If you like what you heard today,
57:42
hit subscribe now. Oh, apparently, they
57:46
say when you see things in real life, you never ever ever can see
57:50
yourself as you truly are because when you look in a mirror, you're seeing a
57:52
reflection. And so even in photos, like, you're seeing
57:56
a kind of reflection in a way, too, apparently. Interesting. So are we looking at
58:00
each other or are we looking like in the opposite direction?
58:03
Okay, that
58:12
like this, not looking at each other? But our
58:15
perspective saw a different look. You're
58:19
killing me. No. We aren't looking at each other. Just looking
58:23
at a kick