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"THE KINKY COCKTAIL HOUR" AUTHENTICALLY CONNECTED IN LOVE · CALL ME MISTRESS

0:10
Hi, welcome to the latest episode of Call Me Mistress.
0:13
I'm your Hostess, Mistress Mia, and today I bring you Safra
0:17
Master and his beloved wife, Lady Petra.
0:21
How are you today? We're great.
0:23
Thanks for having us. Really appreciate it.
0:26
Absolutely. I think that we can start by
0:30
saying you 2 are kind of like the ideal fetish couple.
0:35
Well, that's very sweet of you. Really.
0:37
It's. True.
0:40
It's true. Follow you on Fetlife.
0:43
We're friends there, but over the last, I think it's been
0:46
three years since we talked and we interviewed one another for
0:50
our for our podcast. I've always looked at your feet.
0:53
I've always enjoyed it and it's been really diverse and unique
0:57
at the same time. I, I see the switch in both of
1:01
you and it's like one day I see Safra Master and his chastity
1:07
and the next, you know, I see Titty Tuesday for Lady Petra.
1:12
No, it's true. Our, our journey has been, let's
1:17
say it's not been static. You know, it's a process of
1:19
evolution. Both aspects of of being a
1:23
switch, you know, being neutral about things.
1:26
Yeah, our our viewpoint is that we're sexual creatures and the
1:31
curiosity that we have is in discovering what where our
1:36
arousal lives for each other. You know, and for me, it was
1:42
never really about being a dominant or being a submissive
1:46
as much as it is about finding ways to please my partner that
1:50
align with my own arousal, if that makes sense.
1:53
And always a living in an authentic experience of our
1:55
sexuality. Yeah, I would say so too.
1:58
I think like we've transformed over the years and I think where
2:02
we're at now is more in a like sacred sexuality or well,
2:09
transcendent sexuality because it's, it doesn't feel like
2:13
there's any context for gender or role.
2:16
It's just this kind of like yin Yang kind of ebb and flow of
2:20
each other in the actual moment of being with each other.
2:24
So that could mean anything. And, you know, I'm a bit of a
2:27
hedonist, so I'm going to gravitate the things that I
2:30
enjoy more more, you know? That is, yeah, very evident on
2:35
your profiles. Yeah.
2:38
So. So you all have been doing the
2:40
kinky cocktail hour for what, the last three years?
2:44
No, we're going into our seventh season.
2:46
Oh wow. OK.
2:48
We started right before COVID hit.
2:50
We actually, we're very fortunate in a way, because
2:56
about a month after we started podcasting, the we got the
3:00
lockdown from COVID began. And at that point, you know, we
3:03
were exploring our sexuality in ADS dynamic from a completely
3:08
different place. So to set a masochistic place
3:12
and we would see it and then podcast every day.
3:15
And that's what sort of what got us started was the conversations
3:17
we were having after we seemed, and we kept saying, you know,
3:21
these are great conversations. We should record them and then
3:24
we should podcast them. And then one day we just said,
3:25
what the hell, we'll podcast them.
3:28
And yeah, we were so surprised, you know, because we had 100
3:31
people following us and then 1000.
3:33
And then all of a sudden we've got like 600,000 downloads, you
3:36
know what I'm saying? Yeah.
3:39
And we've done like, I want to say 1000 episodes now, maybe
3:43
1100. But going into our seventh
3:46
season, eventually we started interviewing others.
3:50
You know, we were having our own conversation about sexuality.
3:55
And so we wanted to hear what is the conversation other people
3:59
are having about sexuality. And so it became just this way
4:02
of back in an inquiry that journey that we were on when
4:07
forming our own journey by talking to other kingsters.
4:11
And, you know, we learned a lot. We learned a lot about things we
4:14
weren't interested in and we learned about things we were
4:17
interested in. And we took some of the things
4:18
we were interested in and incorporated them into our play.
4:21
And, you know, some of those things persist and some of them
4:26
have sort of sort of fallen away.
4:27
And where we are right now, kinky as we are, and we're
4:31
pretty kinky. I mean, you know, she dresses me
4:33
in panty, you know, pages sometimes.
4:37
I mean, it's all very random. But kinky as we are, it isn't.
4:43
We don't think of kink as our like happy place, although as
4:51
king, as kingsters, we, we were given the room to explore inside
4:57
of agreements that we made and boundaries we had established
5:01
and we got to explore. Like what is it that impact
5:05
player, for example, brings to the table?
5:08
Or what is it that hypnosis or hypno king brings to the table?
5:14
But, you know, somewhere in there we fell in love and that
5:19
changed the conversation completely because now all of a
5:22
sudden we're interacting not as kingsters, but as lovers who
5:27
happen to also have kinky fetishes, if that makes sense.
5:31
And so that changes everything. And so, you know, we've been
5:34
together for seven years almost to the day.
5:36
And I, I'll just say this has been the happiest 7 years of my
5:40
life. It's been incredible.
5:41
Oh yeah. Bar none.
5:43
Yeah. Wonderful.
5:45
I know that whenever I go back and I'll check our ratings on
5:49
any type of podcast forum like the feed spot and and different
5:52
things like that, you know, we are always neck and neck
5:56
together. That's good.
5:58
All of our ratings. I'm like, oh, kinky cocktail
6:00
hour. Oh, misters, Mia, that's so.
6:02
Great. Yeah, I I stopped looking at
6:05
ratings a while back, but you bring up the point we got a
6:09
thing from I wanna say Spotify, maybe it's for.
6:13
Rap, Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
6:14
Don't you? Love that.
6:16
I love those things. What I loved about it was it
6:18
told us that people who treated podcast listen, share it, have
6:23
conversations, comment, you know that the listeners are engaged,
6:26
which I really. Very much.
6:27
Yeah, How long have you been podcasting?
6:29
Oh, it's been almost four years I am, you know, but I haven't
6:33
been fortunate enough to find that perfect Co host.
6:41
Yeah, I I'm not bringing my lover in on the podcast like the
6:45
two of you, but yeah, it's like, it was like my first Co host.
6:49
We were just kind of starting. But she's very serious.
6:52
I'm not serious, you know, And then I had John on and John was
6:58
like overly funny and I'm not overly funny and and it was just
7:04
like, it's just, it just didn't click.
7:08
And so if. I had the right energies.
7:10
You do, you really do, Yeah. You just have to mesh with that
7:15
person. And it's sometimes it's just you
7:17
just don't mesh well. Yeah, totally.
7:19
Yeah. I will say, though, that, you
7:21
know, podcasting aside, our journey as sexual creatures,
7:27
it's been a steady journey and we literally play every day.
7:30
We have for seven years and you, you know, for us to be able to
7:35
keep up that intensity of our energy, there has to be a lot of
7:38
positivity in our experience. You know, and I think the thing
7:43
that we discovered more than anything was that kink.
7:48
Let me say this again, the thing that we've discovered more than
7:52
anything is that communication is our kink.
7:55
And the reality is, is that because we're in communication
8:01
in such an open and consistent way and, and we have it like
8:04
there's nothing wrong and we get to talk about what there is to
8:07
talk about around our scenes. We've always been able to just
8:12
keep the energy alive. And that's, I think that's been
8:14
the most like illuminating thing from the from the whole
8:18
experience to me. Yeah.
8:21
When you just connect, you just connect.
8:23
Right. You know, and it's effortless.
8:26
Yes, I do. I do think, I think also the
8:30
context of creating really living into creating each other
8:34
newly each day that this is the day we're in right now, not
8:37
yesterday or two weeks from now or it's not about looking
8:41
forward to something. It's about what are we up to
8:44
right now. And being that present we found
8:46
is the juice for everything, for the access to everything.
8:50
Like as soon as those occurrences begin happening, I
8:54
mean, orgasms changed and opened up a spectrum of orgasms that
9:00
wasn't at the buffet before. And now they are purely because,
9:06
yes, I have a wonderful partner. But I think particularly because
9:10
women are blessed with the ability for this, I think a much
9:13
on a greater scale than men. We can experience the world in
9:17
ways that are if we can open ourselves up and be vulnerable
9:22
to that. And you have to have the right
9:23
circumstances and partners. But I think there are things
9:28
there I'm seeing now or experiencing that weren't there
9:31
at all. Not even, you know, And I'm in
9:33
my 50s. I'm not even in my 20s.
9:36
We're there. I'm more vibrant now, more
9:39
sexualized, more aware of my own sexuality to engage in a way
9:46
where I get the biggest bang for my buck basically out of every
9:50
experience. And I think that power for women
9:54
is paramount. Absolutely, and when you have
9:57
perfect tits like yours, I mean. They definitely are the perfect.
10:04
They are perfect. It just reinforces what you say.
10:07
Yeah, our journey evolved so rapidly once we decided to get
10:11
married that I wrote the book Hard Married because we looked
10:16
at what was the journey and how did we navigate that journey to
10:20
get here? Because where we are is an
10:22
amazing place and we think it's accessible to everybody.
10:26
But we we believe that people step over some of the important
10:31
steps to get there. Like they sort of they want to
10:34
get there, but they don't want to do the, let's call it work,
10:37
but it's not really work. It's really just the engagement
10:39
in the, the relationship. So.
10:43
So I basically wrote the manual for how to have what we have and
10:48
yeah. It's my love letter.
10:50
It's a love letter. Yeah, I saw that.
10:53
It's on lulu.com. Yeah, exactly.
10:56
I'll send you the link so. Yeah, yeah, I saw your link on
10:59
fat and I'll certainly post that as well for people to read
11:02
that'd. Be cool.
11:03
I I think the best thing to, like you said it, it's so
11:06
essential that you have this connection when you're married
11:10
and that you can share it with your partner because far too
11:13
often in this lifestyle, people, they're married and they can't
11:18
play together. They don't, Yeah.
11:20
They're not on the same level. They have different kinks and
11:25
you know, it just happens that way, but it's just kind of sad.
11:28
I think it's true for any partnering.
11:30
You don't have to be married to be hard married, right?
11:33
No, it's really just the. It's that hard commitment.
11:36
It's, it's the, it's the connection, the relatedness, the
11:39
commitment, the communication, the listening, right?
11:44
Like there's a lot of different ways we engage with each other
11:48
and all of those ways are important in any relationship
11:51
you have that involves intimacy. You know, you've because if you
11:56
can't step forward in a completely authentic way, if
12:00
you're putting forward a, let's call it an act or a character,
12:07
then you're not really with that person.
12:09
You know, you're not, you're just, you're just being an act,
12:13
being a character actor. And The thing is that it's so
12:19
easy for people to get into a place where what they're telling
12:23
themselves about this sexual experience isn't what was
12:27
actually happening in the sexual experience.
12:28
They're just telling themselves about things that were
12:30
happening. So now they have this story
12:32
about how it goes, and all of a sudden there's space between two
12:36
people that shouldn't be there. And I think if you're married,
12:39
it's more important because the cultural overlay, like if you
12:45
look at the cultural overlay, it's a very particular paradigm.
12:51
That barrage is culturally right.
12:53
It's like this made into this huge thing.
12:56
It's a very kinky experience when you think about it.
12:58
The bride's being gifted to the groom kind of thing.
13:00
You're putting a ring on like a collar.
13:01
Like it's all of it's all of this kind of imagery, but none
13:05
of the work is there. None of the actual, you know,
13:09
interpersonal connection is there that allows the individual
13:15
to be in the relationship completely, if that makes sense.
13:19
So the divorce rate's like 50%, right?
13:21
So it's not working. If.
13:24
If you get second married, it's like 60%.
13:26
If you get third married, it's like 70%.
13:28
So we don't have the skills to do this right.
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So this is where This is why these skills are so valuable
13:35
because it teaches you as an individual how to engage with
13:39
your marriage in the present right now with your partner,
13:45
like collectively working on something together around at all
13:50
aspects of marriage. It's it's all aspects.
13:52
It's not just the sexuality, but that's a very important part
13:56
because if that's not there, you know, it goes away pretty
13:59
quickly. I think that a kinky couple for
14:03
AI think for a kinky couple, it's even more important because
14:07
not all kinky couples are monogamous, right?
14:09
There's a lot of open sexuality in kink, and you have to have
14:15
communication for that to work. You really do, You know, you
14:19
know, on the podcast right now, we're reading Sex at Dawn.
14:22
Oh yeah, yeah. Which is a really great book.
14:24
It's it, but it talks a lot about early human sexuality and
14:26
about how people related to each other and, and how there's that
14:35
this more of egalitarian way of being and what's happened since
14:39
agriculture is that's all gone. And so we've gotten away from
14:43
what our instincts tell us sexually should happen, and
14:47
we're now living inside of a societal construct that no
14:50
longer supports the the normal sexuality.
14:54
That's why we have, you know, so much infidelity and so much like
15:02
anxiety about sexuality and relationships.
15:06
And I think it's also unnecessary because it comes
15:08
down to just this very simple thing.
15:10
When you're sitting with another person and you're talking to
15:13
them, you have to be authentically yourself and they
15:16
have to be authentically themselves and you have to be
15:19
there together. And then you can have like the
15:21
kick is hardest sex that you can for as long as you can.
15:24
We literally have the hottest sex everyday that we've ever had
15:28
for seven years. That's what's so weird.
15:30
I feel like it's not weird. It's actually fantastic, but it
15:35
it feels completely out of sorts because it's not like I'm
15:39
looking forward to, oh, when we go on this vacation, you know, I
15:42
build up in my head that's going to be the big sex moment.
15:46
You know, we're going to be in this location and we're going to
15:49
be able to do these things or whatever.
15:51
Right now it's like every day is like, Oh my God, that was the
15:55
best ever. And it because I'm present it,
15:58
it's the only thing that exists. So it really is.
16:00
It's not even like lying to yourself or passing it off as
16:04
something else. It's in that moment we created
16:08
that kind of experience that's magical.
16:12
And then tomorrow I get to do it again.
16:15
And the next day and the next day and it.
16:18
And when you start living like that, it's endless possibility.
16:24
Yeah, we'll have to say every day is a party, right?
16:26
So we get high, we have sex, we have a great cocktail, we have a
16:31
great dinner, we curl up in the couch and watch our show, go to
16:34
bed, right? Every day is a party and we
16:38
treat every day like it's the only day that exists.
16:42
You know, like tomorrow may not come.
16:43
We'll make it hit by a meteorite and then hit the volcano.
16:46
If the Yellowstone goes, we're all gone.
16:48
So yeah, so we just we just live into each day as if it's the
16:52
only existent day that ever will occur ever.
16:56
And this the last day, you know that there is.
16:58
So we're going to take like the we got to say we use the whole
17:02
day up, right? That's kind of our strategy in
17:05
our sexuality. It's our strategy in the way we
17:07
eat. It's our strategy in exploring
17:09
cocktails. It's, it's our strategy and
17:11
just, you know, being out in nature together, you know, like
17:15
we literally operate by trying to be present at all times.
17:21
That's wonderful, It really is. Do you, do you see, though, that
17:25
so many couples right now, they're going into Poly
17:28
relationships? You know, we do, you know, we've
17:32
heard, we've heard from a lot of people, we've talked to some
17:35
Poly people over the years and you know, we've, we've had our
17:41
own inquiry about it as well, right?
17:42
We've had an inquiry about like, is it, is it appropriate?
17:46
Is it appropriate for us in the way we operate for us to like
17:51
engage in another person at the level of intensity that we
17:54
engage at? Is, is there room for that in
17:56
our life? And we decided for us, it's not
17:59
a thing. That's not to say that other
18:01
people don't benefit from that kind of experience, right?
18:08
For sure. Our inquiry was like, well, you
18:10
know, what am I going to gain by doing that that I'm not already
18:13
experiencing over here? But it's also true.
18:17
Like, you know, there are certain certainly circumstances
18:20
where people love each other, but one person's kinks.
18:23
Don't. Align, don't align with the
18:25
others. And for that reason, you know,
18:28
we took have a lot of couple friends where for that reason,
18:32
the the one partner goes out and gets their kids satisfied over
18:36
there. And that's fine, you know, and.
18:39
Some are, some of them it's just kink.
18:42
It's not even sexualized. It's just it's it's a need.
18:46
Typically it comes off by masochists expressing this,
18:51
particularly if it's a male masochist and his wife is not
18:55
feeling like they want to be dominant in that way.
18:57
And that they I've, I've had it where there's been full
19:01
agreements where they just go over here, they get the service
19:03
of the beatings that they need, whatever fills their bucket.
19:07
And then they come back and they have their completely other type
19:10
of sex or other intimacy with their with their life.
19:14
Yeah. And then we have people that
19:16
are, I also go over, oh, it's an open relation.
19:18
I go over here and I have a full buffet over here and I also get
19:23
to come home. But this is my primary partner.
19:26
And I just think if it if there's good communication, if
19:29
it works for a couple or three summer or what have you, I think
19:34
that's great. I don't really want to yuck on
19:36
anyone's Yum. I just want to be able to.
19:40
I think my experience has been not as much what other people
19:46
are doing and should I keep up with the Joneses or whatever to
19:49
to supposedly have this great experience, right?
19:52
What I'm learning is my great experiences is where I feel the
19:55
most comfortable and self expressed.
19:58
And so I'm trying to stay in my lane and there's other people in
20:01
other lanes, you know, obviously.
20:02
Yeah, and there's nothing wrong. I don't think there's anything
20:05
wrong with, you know, particules that are grounded in
20:11
communication. I think that if everyone's in
20:15
agreement and if it's all what you know, rather than polyamory,
20:20
I prefer the term ethical non monogamy.
20:23
If it is truly ethical, right, If there really is agreement, if
20:26
there really are standing arrangements.
20:30
You know, when we've talked to Poly folks in the past, the
20:33
biggest problem is the calendar. They can't figure out when to
20:35
get with each other, you know, because everyone's busy.
20:38
And so that's a, that's just a thing.
20:41
When I was originally concerned considering polyamory, I was
20:45
considering it from the perspective of, you know, I'm a
20:48
sadist. And not every woman is a
20:49
masochist. And so if I'm a sadist and I'm
20:53
dating somebody and she doesn't want to be a masochist, I might
20:56
want to go find my opportunity to play with a masochist as
20:58
well. But what I discovered was for
21:01
myself, that really wasn't the the issue, right?
21:05
The issue for me in my in my experience was I was really
21:11
operating from a place to feel like I'm missing out over here
21:15
and really living with Petra, I get everything.
21:18
I get the host notice for it. I'm not missing anything.
21:21
And I learned that. So yeah.
21:23
So I think, I think that there's, if you read the, the
21:28
book Sex at Dawn, genetically, we're programmed to be open in
21:35
relationship sexually. We're, we're, we're programmed
21:38
genetically for that. So it doesn't surprise me that
21:40
there's a lot of polyamory afoot, you know, because it's
21:44
just instinctively like what people are about.
21:48
They, they get attracted, they want to act on that.
21:50
They want to act on those impulses.
21:54
And you know, genetically, if you go back to our original
21:58
biology, we, we're bonobos. We that's what we would do.
22:02
Yeah, I have an inside joke about the Bonobo monkeys
22:05
because, yeah, apparently scientists have done a lot of
22:10
research with them because they were kind of secretive in what
22:12
they do, but ultimately they're the most highly sexual monkey
22:16
species. Totally.
22:18
Yeah, with the the group orgies and and Everything Everywhere.
22:22
Like that because humans are the we have sex for just enjoying
22:25
it. It's all the time we're
22:28
actually. More related to bonobos than any
22:30
other of the big apes. We are actually big apes.
22:32
We're, we're, we're, we're, we're part of, we're part of the
22:35
giant apes. It's what we are.
22:36
You know I was. Going to say there's there's
22:38
only so many species of animals that actually mate for for fun.
22:43
I think dolphins is another one. They are.
22:45
Yeah, right. There aren't any species that
22:50
are monogamous, by the way. Yeah.
22:53
I mean, they say. They save life, partners with
22:56
birds that nest, but that's just nesting.
22:58
But still, birds will still cross, you know, pollinate, if
23:02
you will, before they get to the full nesting point.
23:06
So it's not just that. Yeah.
23:08
No, this is this monogamy situation that we have in our
23:11
current iteration of a lie of lives as human beings on planet
23:16
Earth. Is is impacted by Christian
23:20
morality, right? So basically, basically you've
23:24
got, you know, 10,000 years of the church sort of poo poo and
23:28
sexuality. And and you know, we're at a
23:32
point now where we're starting to see people, you know, walk
23:36
away from religion. But the societies like construct
23:40
is this sort of monogamous religious construct.
23:43
You know you can't legally marry like multiple people, but in the
23:46
past you you could you could marry as many people as you are
23:49
just be just sleeping next to them was considered marriage.
23:52
In some. Tribes, you know, but I don't I
23:56
don't think that you can make an argument today, but knowing what
24:00
we know now that we're not related to bonobos, everything
24:05
about the the way we relate to each other sexually have sex for
24:11
fun, have sex for settling an argument, have sex for, you
24:16
know, just procreation, whatever.
24:19
It's all in the world of what bonobos are up to.
24:23
And because male certainty of offspring is no longer
24:31
consideration or or it was the consideration in the past, but
24:35
by when you look at the sort of detail, it's not the
24:38
consideration. It really does come down to
24:41
women are the most powerful sexual creatures.
24:43
Women are definitely the ones who Dr. sexuality and if you
24:53
look sort of through history, that's the standard.
24:57
You know, in female led societies, sex is freely
25:01
available. The older men are getting more
25:04
sex because the women are are having more sex.
25:07
There's less there aren't even words for a divorce or words for
25:12
a rape or there's like none of that, right?
25:14
Because it doesn't. It just doesn't exist in a
25:16
female led society. And so that's really, that's
25:19
really like what we're trying to do in our home.
25:21
We believe that a female led relationship is the best
25:25
relationship. That's our experience.
25:28
Such a smart, wise man, aren't you?
25:29
Isn't he? That's great.
25:34
That's great. I know My husband always tells
25:36
me you're just always right. And I'm like, exactly, exactly.
25:40
You figured this out. Yeah, exactly.
25:43
Yeah, there's nothing wrong at all with, you know, multi
25:49
partner relationship. Communication is the thing.
25:53
That's the most important thing because if everyone's on the
25:55
same page and it works for everybody, As soon as somebody
25:59
doesn't carry the water, though, something will be jealousies and
26:02
resentments, and that's no good. Doesn't make you better sex,
26:05
let's put it that way. No, not at all.
26:10
So where do you all see yourself with your kinky cocktail hour
26:14
and and say three to five years it's.
26:16
A great question. Yeah.
26:19
Our our conversation, I think, I think that the primary or the
26:25
prime directive of our podcast is to demystify kink and
26:28
sexuality. And at the same time, it's also
26:31
been there for us to inform ourselves.
26:34
And because of the place we're in, our next sort of step is to
26:38
do a series on sacred sexuality. And, you know, and continue that
26:44
we we continue to do readings of interesting books in the world
26:48
of sexuality. The team have conversations with
26:50
interesting kicksters and we continue to review like movies
26:55
and things we watch around sex and sexuality.
26:58
And so the the long as long as there are humans having sex and
27:02
humans fighting about sex, there'll be a worthy
27:05
conversation about sex and and and kink, you know?
27:08
Very much so. So, you know, we're just going
27:11
to keep plugging away at it and eventually it'll make sense.
27:14
It won't make sense for us to do it anymore.
27:16
But, you know, for right now, we find it enjoyable to share our
27:23
thoughts and to listen to those who have something to offer.
27:29
And I think that's beautiful about kink and human sexuality
27:34
is every single person has a story and has a journey to to
27:40
share. And it's in that sharing that
27:43
allows somebody listening, you know, to hear something for
27:46
themselves. Yeah, we've had a lot of
27:50
feedback from random people who have heard a podcast here or
27:56
there and heard something for themselves and got something
27:58
really out of it. We got a message once from a
28:01
couple, a young couple that said, you know, we're just
28:04
getting started and we've been listening to your part.
28:06
It's been so helpful, you know, So we think we'll just keep
28:09
plugging away at it and I don't know, six or seven years, not
28:12
sure that you know. It's just part of our life
28:16
though, so it's, it's, you know, we're going to have a
28:19
conversation anyway post sex, so sometimes it's just great to
28:22
turn the microphone on. Don't you just love those emails
28:25
though, too, To know that you make such a difference with
28:29
people that they can, they can listen to your story and be
28:32
like, yeah, you know, it's so great.
28:35
It is. It's amazing people.
28:39
You know, the way I think about it is there are a certain number
28:41
of people who write and then there's a number of people who
28:45
who would never write, but also getting something out of it.
28:47
You know, I appreciate the folks who let us know that they've
28:51
heard something good that inspired them to have better sex
28:55
in their life. But I also know that for
28:58
everyone that does, it may be 20 or 30 or 100 or 1000 who didn't
29:03
but are also getting some advantage from this information
29:07
that I think is some of it's great information.
29:10
You know, like we're making the information, we're talking to
29:13
people that, for example, we don't play with fire.
29:16
We've talked to somebody who played with fire.
29:18
You know, there was a lot of information that I hadn't even
29:21
considered when it comes to playing with fire.
29:24
And I think like somebody else who's a fire player might go,
29:27
you know, that was actually worthwhile.
29:29
I heard that that was great. So, I mean, I remember we, we
29:32
did a thing. On Oh the knife play too.
29:34
We didn't the guy that is the MMA session, MMA fighter that
29:38
now. This guy wrote this really
29:40
interesting article on fat life about trying to think of the
29:44
topic of his conversation, but it had to do with consent.
29:47
It was a consent sort of based conversation, but in that
29:52
conversation it came out that he was a knife player.
29:55
And so he started sharing about how he plays with knives.
29:59
It was the most fascinating conversation because I hadn't
30:02
really considered playing with knives.
30:03
And certainly Petra was like, I don't want to play with knives,
30:07
but but what? But she didn't understand.
30:08
And I didn't understand what that what that meant, what
30:11
playing with knives. Meant we had it a picture in our
30:13
head. What that meant, it was
30:15
completely different when he explained it.
30:17
Yeah, so, so things like that were really valuable.
30:19
We talked to this amazing guy in Holland who ties up penises.
30:27
Yeah, artistically. Artistically, yeah, he does.
30:30
That's amazing. He's got these amazing
30:33
photographs. And they're amazing.
30:34
Like there's a plate of spaghetti and then the penis
30:36
just flopped on top. So he must have had a hole in
30:39
the plate in the bottom. He pulls the person through and
30:44
he laid it like a sausage. It just, and it, I mean, at
30:48
first glance you would think it was a sausage on some spaghetti.
30:51
I mean, we really would. It was that artistic.
30:53
And then when you look close, you're like, Oh my God, that's
30:55
what it is. Yeah, but I mean, he was, he was
30:58
really interesting because it was such a specific fetish.
31:02
It was such a specific fetish. You know, it's just been fun.
31:06
The whole the whole experience of talking to people about human
31:10
sexuality has been really fascinating.
31:13
Yeah. Yeah.
31:14
You know, I often say that, you know, back in the 70s, eighties,
31:19
it was still even then, after the fact that BDSM has been
31:22
around for centuries, you know, it was still so taboo.
31:29
And it is, yeah, it is. And but it's only been within
31:32
the last 10 years that they're starting to put it in this this
31:37
fresh light. Well, it's much more mainstream.
31:39
We were watching. The.
31:41
Other night, what were we watching?
31:43
Dodge ball, dumb movie. And there's a whole scene in
31:46
that movie where they get some gear and it's all like hardcore
31:50
kink gear. Yeah.
31:51
And they go. It's on main mainstream TV, you
31:54
know what I mean? That would have never been on
31:56
TV. Yeah.
31:58
No, I. Mean they could barely run
32:00
tampon ads in the 80s. Yeah, it's definitely
32:03
mainstream. It definitely is at the same
32:06
time there it's it's it's mainstream and kind of a
32:10
titillating kind of way. Like it doesn't really get at
32:14
the only a few movies we've seen where it really gets at what the
32:19
draw is for something like, you know, BDS and M, you know, like
32:24
what's what's the draw? And so I think you know, that if
32:29
you ask like, where are we going to go in the part in the future?
32:32
I think that's an interesting conversation to keep having
32:35
because yes, the language and the images are more mainstream,
32:42
but that they're still it's, it's almost like it's
32:46
titillating and we have to get underneath that to, to really
32:49
get, you know, at what the draw is and what the benefits really,
32:53
truly are. I mean, most people, average
32:56
person doesn't realize that, say impact player produces a
33:00
chemical cascade that gives some relief to the, you know, bottom,
33:04
for example. But that sort of that sort of
33:07
information is valuable, you know, and, and the more it's out
33:10
in the world, the more people will enjoy the experience of
33:15
being able to experiment for themselves.
33:18
Interesting, isn't it? Yeah.
33:21
So. So what movie do you think is
33:24
really beneficial right now for someone to watch about PDSM?
33:31
There's some. Standard ones that I think
33:34
there's, they're still a little stylized, but I do think it
33:39
offers a a window into a masochist is the secretary.
33:43
Secretary is great. Yeah, because I think I think
33:45
both both roles play at the the pulling extremes of those
33:51
dynamic, you know, roles themselves.
33:54
And you do learn that the mischievous of like putting the
33:58
bug in the bed later, the brattiness of that, the
34:04
titillation she got from that and that she knows she's going
34:07
to get caught and she's going to be punished or something.
34:09
But she that turns her on and and they do a what a great job
34:13
at demonstrating that. Whereas when I, if I was just to
34:17
serf, you know, fed or something, what I'm running into
34:21
a lot is a bunch of caricature pictures of people in whatever
34:28
role they're describing themselves to be.
34:30
And it doesn't let you know who that person is or what it really
34:33
means to be a little or what have you, you know.
34:37
And so even in fact, Neil and I were talking about Fetlife has
34:44
changed a lot in at least the last five years, six years
34:49
dramatically, where when I first went on, I thought I had access
34:56
to something that was I'd never seen before.
34:58
So then I was like, this is a whole new pool of people to
35:01
interact with. And now it's like only fans
35:06
practically. Yeah, interesting, huh?
35:10
You know which movie that I I recently watched was Baby Girl
35:16
with Nicole Kidman. I don't know if you've seen that
35:19
yet. You would really enjoy it.
35:22
It's on Amazon. OK.
35:24
But her role was just a very domineering woman in the
35:29
workplace. And she meets this younger
35:32
gentleman who's just an intern, and there is this instant
35:37
connection. And she realizes how submissive
35:41
she is, even more so once she meets them.
35:45
And she's already married to Antonio Banderas.
35:48
And she has never been able to, like, you can just tell she's
35:51
never had like, this mind blowing orgasm with him because
35:55
he can't be dominant with her. And he's just doing vanilla sex.
36:01
And ultimately, like, at the very beginning of the movie,
36:04
right off the RIP, she is having sex with him.
36:07
She gets him off. She sneaks off into her office
36:12
and watches this submissive video and masturbates and then
36:18
the rest of the movie, it's just like, wow.
36:20
It's so good it. Is a wonderful movie.
36:25
Yeah, it. Is a good one.
36:27
Yeah, you need to check it out. I think you all would enjoy it.
36:30
But yeah, I think that what we do as podcast host, I think it's
36:35
just so cool because we do. We reach out to so many people
36:39
and all over the world and they just benefit so much.
36:43
And between the uniqueness of your show and how you represent
36:48
stuff and talk about things and you're like you, like you said,
36:52
you're so fluid with everything and in your connection, I just,
36:55
I think it's really such a cool thing.
36:58
It's such an amazing thing that you can do and and just kind of
37:01
give back to the community with that.
37:03
I think people genuinely appreciate that tremendously.
37:06
I feel like that too. And I also think, you know, on a
37:09
very personal level, you know, we obviously talked about
37:11
starting the pod because we think these are valuable
37:14
conversations. But but also, umm, it's
37:16
interesting for us to even just go back and listen to some of
37:20
those first podcasts from where we are now standing now and
37:23
hear, you know, my old self and think, Oh, you're silly one, you
37:28
don't even know yet, you know, but just to to follow that
37:32
journey. I mean, who this is what I think
37:35
is fantastic is who has a running dialogue of their love
37:40
affair, right? And we do.
37:42
And you do exactly. Yeah, exactly.
37:46
That's wonderful. Yeah, That's a wonderful thing.
37:49
Well, I think that's a good note to leave it on.
37:51
OK. Great.
37:53
Thank you. Patrick, I've got one of my one
37:57
of my associates has some kink movies that he's been
38:01
recommending, so I'll grab a few of those and send them to you as
38:03
well. Yeah.
38:04
Oh, that'd be wonderful. All right.
38:07
Thank you both very much. Thank you.
38:09
Thanks for. Having us really appreciate it.
38:11
Thank you very much. It's been a treat.
38:14
So until then, this has been the latest episode of Call Me
38:17
Mistress.