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EP167 - The Whole Nine Yards · Thirsty For More - Movie Review

0:09
The check check check. Hello, Hello, hello everybody, Hello, hello
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everyone, and welcome to Planet Bruce. Bruce. Of course, I'm your
0:30
host, Malenko. Is that happening. Oh shit, that's me. I'm
0:37
so sorry about that. I was like, where's that happening? Yeah,
0:42
hey, everybody, I'm Alex. And today we're talking about two thousands,
0:49
the whole nine yards. It's such the most two thousands movie. Like there
0:56
was a series of movies that was like this. Also, like there was
1:02
also that movie the year a year later called Novacaine. Do you remember that
1:06
movie? Yes, with Steve Martin and Helena bon Bon, Herm Carter and
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uh Laura Dern, also about a dentist, also about some scheme. Okay,
1:21
all right, dude. I was really excited to talk to me about
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this because of the fact that, like, honestly, like I was like
1:29
pretty ready to be like this is this is gonna be lunacy, And there
1:34
somehow is a balance of like the darkness and the humor. I wish it
1:41
was darker, I wish it was better filmed, but there there was this
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type of movie in the two thousands where it's like it was like really serious
1:51
talks becard like murder and people just kind of insane hand waving it away by
1:56
being zanety. I mean, it would be interesting to see a movie like
2:00
this, but now like a meta modern movie like this. This was like
2:02
an interesting one because Okay, so, like I gotta say, I got
2:06
a comment it's our first movie back from from uh, from our Saw season,
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and we did like that was like quite the marathon and felt like,
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you know, it was like a whole well, it was a whole mini
2:16
dive onto itself, so like ten fucking movies. But yeah, like it
2:23
was weird and kind of jarring because I haven't been watching really many movies and
2:28
like so it's kind of like jarring to go from Saw back to like just
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like a just like and refreshing, I have to say, to go to
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like a zany comedy. Can we talk about Matthew Perry for a second.
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Yeah, Okay, so like he's really good at this movie. He's very
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good. He's really good. Uh and he he he does what this like
2:52
material asks for, and it's it's just it's just kind of sad for him
2:59
that he's not Jim Carrey. Yeah, it's the movie. Both would have
3:04
been more awesome if it was Jim Carrey, I agree, and it would
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have had more money. Probably the tone of it would have been slightly different
3:13
to the tone and maybe better. But like it also with Matthew Perry,
3:19
it needed to be darker. I agree. If if Jim was in it,
3:23
this could have worked. This tone could have worked, and it needed
3:27
to have a little bit more scale. But it felt like a low budget
3:30
movie. It felt like Bruce Willis was just like in his own movie and
3:37
this movie no can I tell you something? This felt like the most perfect
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rusonalist movie because of the fact that he's obsessed with these like film noir ish,
3:51
like a little bit ish, but he like he always has this craving
3:54
to be funny, and he is funny. He is funny in this.
3:59
Well. It's interesting to see what various people do with the noir genre and
4:05
this. I remember actually the first time I watched this movie, I really
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hated it. I remember loving it. I really hated it because I didn't
4:16
like the tone they struck with the noirness. That's what was like that that
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felt the most like am I gonna be like? It's it was. It
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was that tension between not being dark enough like Cable Guy's a perfect example,
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because I think Cable Guy has exactly the kind of darkness that this movie is
4:34
lacking, or like the balance between the humor and the darkness that this movie
4:39
is lacking. I think I think you're right. Let me tell you what
4:43
I think it might be. That's that feel there's something about Marry at times.
4:47
Oh yeah, totally, But I don't mean it in the good way.
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Like, here's what I think is interesting about these kinds of movies that
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later on got add in an interesting way and took on some stuff from this
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type of movie that felt like it was wrong. What got this type of
5:10
movie like a film noir? No like this time in this more modern era
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post two thousands, film noirs kind of were occupied by a lot of dumb
5:18
people. Well, I think that, honestly, I think that, Uh,
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at least in this era, it was Shane Black that saved it with
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Kiss Kiss. Yeah. Well, like, I mean, I'm just saying
5:31
that, like there were people who, like, the characters are dumb and
5:35
you're supposed to laugh at them. Whereas this seems like a movie that takes
5:40
it's all of its characters pretty seriously. They all have pretty like intensely good
5:46
reasons to like kind of hate each other and kind of not be like into
5:50
each other. But they're not dumb. They're just regular, you know what
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I mean, They're regular dangular exactly. Yeah, totally totally, and like
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they're like extraordinary personalities that happen in movies now as opposed to like normal dinguses.
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Like Matthew Perry, which I watch is what I felt was the most
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charming part of him as a character, which is being like a guy who's
6:15
like genuinely scared because there's reason to be genuinely scared. Yeah, and like
6:21
it. I feel also like it helps that it's Matthew Perry because he's fresh
6:28
off of portraying this kind of character. Yeah, you know what I mean.
6:30
And it's like we believe him, you know, we believe the kind
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of sid communist. It is a situational comedy really totally, and we believe
6:40
that when we watch it because it's like, oh, what a comedy of
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errors. Like your next door neighbor happens to be a contract killer, you
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happen to recognize him, you happen to then give you your wife the idea
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that to like everything in what your wife has already tried to kill you,
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which I actually really liked about the that's a reveal, please oh please,
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sorry, But like there's so many parts of this movie that are like Dutch
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angles and like kind of like spooky a little bit, and it just felt
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like man like the Cohens could have done a rewrite and directed, and I
7:12
feel like it would have been a little bit I mean a Cohen's Well,
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they were like xam Raimi. We've seen the cons maybe flub once or twice,
7:20
like not they're really they're rarely flubbing. But I can see them doing
7:27
this. A good job with this movie, yeah, totally totally, but
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they they really really did. You're right it does. There is a sitcommunist
7:38
to the trying to make kind of everybody likable. And we said it in
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Montreal Chebec dude with of course French French Canadian actor every really good job.
7:53
I love her in this movie. Every every woman looked seems like they were
7:58
cast because they looked similar in this movie. Oh yeah, Henstridge and Amanda
8:03
Pete look so similar similar. Yeah. I was kept being like, yeah,
8:09
I know who's who. I know who's who. But like it was
8:11
kind of like I feel it was kind of deliberate, you know, yeah,
8:13
for sure, just way like when she came movies. I gasped like
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I was, oh my god, I know for this movie too, because
8:26
I remember it was like so fabulous. She was like, Yeah, her
8:30
hair just looked amazing. I was like, her teeth amazing in the game
8:35
of course, Yeah, I mean good enough to play in a dentist system.
8:39
Yeah, totally. And uh, you know, both the mom and
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and Rosette Kad are like laughing at Matthew Berry and they're so comically evil.
8:54
Yeah. There, he's fully cocked. He's fully cocked and gets cocked by
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so much so that he has to get Bruce back by cooking. Hi.
9:05
Oh man, okay, we'll get well, we need to pause to have
9:09
chicken wings, so we'll be back. Was continue, Yeah, yeah,
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where were we? We were right where Matthew Perry leaves his car or gets
9:22
into his car and then slams on it a hundred times and then drives a
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little bit down the driveway and then stops and slams on the car again.
9:31
Yeah, Chandler. Yeah, The thing is, it does it does feel
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like it it's a movie that really wants to be way darker than it actually
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is. No one told Hila like was gonna be this gay and and it's
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a bit like it's a bit of a bummer because of that, but also
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like all the characters seem very very sweet and like it's weird how they did
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that, and it it's all because the actors are so good. Can you
10:03
further elaborate on that? Well, Like Jimmy Tedesky, Jimmy Jones Chandler bing
10:11
Natasha. Who's Jimmy Jimmysky is Bruce Willis obviously, and he does such a
10:16
good job at like somehow being super charming but also knowing the audience of all
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knowing that he's a murderer. Yeah, And it's the most performance, it's
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the most this is his Like this is another kind of Oscar type performance like
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Stalloan's Oscar I guilt Oscar, you know, Jimmy Smith's dude, you know
10:45
what I mean? Though, Yeah, I mean, I like, yeah
10:52
totally And and for some reason, I'm like so down with this kind of
10:58
vibe, Like I like saying vibe two and hot. Amanda Peat shows up
11:05
and she gets a phone call and she's like stunning in every scene she is
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totally being stunning. But what was awesome is getting the phone call at the
11:13
beginning and like her being like dumb Jimmapelle to beat shut the phone down,
11:20
and like, you know, like him what's his name, Chandler bing being
11:26
like like a pretty good doctor, knowing that he's like good at his job
11:31
and stuff like that. And with that the one guy who's his patient that
11:35
he's like, look, I want you to pull my tooth out. You
11:39
told me you would pull my two like some weird sadist. No, yeah,
11:46
I think you didn't want it to get a drilled. He didn't want
11:48
to get a drilled. He wanted it pulled. But like the way he
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was like looking at him kind of like it was weird. It was so
11:56
weird. And the mayonnaise hating me. Every American hating mayonnaise. I mean,
12:03
let's see, honest dude, no American. They're all like, yeahs
12:09
mayonnaise slapped all over yeah, totally slapped all over it. Yeah, I
12:15
need a place in order, I need for drive trail. What kind of
12:22
combo meals do you have that come with mayonnaise slapped all over it? All?
12:26
Right, let me break it down for you real easily. Okay,
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I want a triple cheeseburger. Well, my kids are hungry, ship and
12:35
it's a goddamn s hair out here. That was very weird because I remember
12:39
seeing that when I was a kid in it or when when the movie came
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out, and I was like what, like why what? Yeah, I
12:45
don't know, and like do they put mayonnaise on putting only mayonnaise without ketchup
12:52
I underneath? Yeah, that's definitely a weird thing. And they do do
12:56
that, actually do they some some kibe? I think some restaurants do that.
13:01
Do you get back and get beck? Maybe maybe they do do that.
13:05
Maybe that was something write the writer experience that was like at one place,
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throw it in there. But Amanda Pete's hatred of the wife is really
13:15
interesting because it seems so weirdly irrational at the beginning of the movie. Well,
13:20
it starts making sense because like she's kind of like this obsessive person who
13:22
took an interest in him. Yeah, so she's like his best friend,
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but like best friend, like she's kind of like weird psycho energy too.
13:31
Yeah, yeah, totally, he's really invested in his life. I mean,
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maybe they're just really close friends. I don't know, but they were
13:37
really close friends because he's because like the end it revealed like, oh she
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got too close. Well yeah yeah, yeah, which begs the question though,
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like he's like very close to his secretary. Well like he seems like
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fucking loser or like seems like one of those people who's like I don't know
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how to make friends because everyone I bring home my wife hates and I don't
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want to deal with my wife. My wife for you, my wife locks
14:03
play my wife. So there's this is the only opportunity for him to really
14:07
have friends exactly exactly. And Bruce less his high high bands over the belly
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button, and it is the most yeah yeah dude. He even does it
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like there's one that's one scene when he's on the buddy's like yeah yeah yeah,
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And I was like, oh man, that is such a and also
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the clearest example of balding Bruce like the wispy top hair and like kind of
14:41
yeah, and and covered the they covered with a wig a little bit.
14:45
They kept him balding, which was really nice, but they kept it very
14:50
realistic, like handsome guy balding. I'm not even I feel like the back
14:54
was like those carotene fibers that you spray on or something. I don't know,
15:00
Like it was very interesting, dude. And then his constant like like
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you know, dead faced but then smiling fakely and reminds me when you come
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back from a visit to mym and thought, oh, yeah, totally.
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And then like constantly Chandler being like like have we met before? And he's
15:22
like no, no, and then and then he like waves his hand and
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he sees the tulip and he realizes that it's Jimmy the tulip, which I
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actually loved this like scenes of flashback where he's like reading all the newspapers or
15:37
whatever it was a Hungarian mom oh totally, and yeah, and what's his
15:43
name? Just using all different kinds of old stock images of brace Willis in
15:52
different movies. And then at the end when it just comes up the words
15:58
freed and leaves the friend and gross Chandler's face being like man like yeah,
16:07
like the faces he makes like I don't know, like sweating by bulging.
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Wait was okay? Was Friends already done at this point or was it still
16:18
going? I think it was still going. Do you think he was like
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when he was on sete he's like, mister Willis, I'm I'm really humble.
16:32
Such a was in Friends. That's true. Yeah, so I'm sure
16:37
they have like I think this kid could do it, you know. Yeah,
16:40
yes, he's good. He's good. He's good. Yeah, And
16:42
like he has got like a very frumpy body and not not Chandler, but
16:48
but Bruce Willis is wearing a lot of like Billowy jacked. No, totally,
16:55
he is jacked. But he's also like armscar, arms to the arms
17:00
car. Yeah, dude, it felt like the it felt like real,
17:03
it felt like like part of the character, which was great. Armscar's guard,
17:07
Armscar's guard. Yeah, totally. And then when he throws all the
17:12
he's like throwing his luggage in the house and he's like, oh you throw
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put in a Hamburger's ketchup and maybe mustard. Yeah. And then and then
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he's like some special sauce that I think has made. That was really fun.
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I liked that. I loved what's wrong with mayonnaise on a Burger Delicious?
17:36
I don't know, I don't know, but I loved Heys's it's nice
17:40
to me, you know, like that kind of like yeah, totally.
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And then he goes back. Do you know who could have also played this,
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who also could have been really good? Is is Ryan Grantston we have
17:56
to leave, you know, like a young Brian Frank Granston playing this two
18:03
thousands of Brian Malcolm in the middle the middle of Brian Kranston. Yeah,
18:07
I think, yes, yes, yeah, or Jim Carrey, but probably
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Jim Carrey because this is what he's doing. He's just doing Jim Carrey,
18:15
which is kind of what I think was like the weird thing about this movie
18:19
when I was watching it for the first time that I couldn't articulate before because
18:23
it like it also has that kind of like it's nineteen ninety eight liar liar
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Jim, Oh yeah, totally totally. But like whenever it got to like
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like you know, the Oz brings out Oz played by Chandler brings out the
18:38
best Arquat and and she he's like, there's a contract killer out there,
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you know, uh, and she's She's like it is totally and then her
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Rosanna being like, oh he saw sexy. That was really funny, and
19:02
like Brucetelle is just being like just weird, like an uncomfortable seeming in his
19:07
body in departs like it's like when no one's watching him, He's just behaving
19:12
in like such a weird way. I thought that was an interesting character quirk
19:17
because it seems like he's like uncomfortable with like he's Jimmy Jones. Yeah,
19:22
he's just he's not. I mean, you know what it is, dude,
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He's had to get so used to being this like common collected guy that
19:30
like he's kind of cracking a little bit, you know what I mean.
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He totally seems like it. And when he he pulls in Oz, he
19:37
stops him from mowing the lawn and pulls him into his car, and man,
19:45
just like the slumpy, slouchy scared because I like, I feel like
19:49
I would be scared too, it wouldn't manifest in this way. But he
19:53
does such a good job at being like I'm sorry, you know, just
19:57
like nervous. But then they come like they come to a weird point in
20:03
the movie where they start talking about like, oh, like where are you
20:07
from? And he's like, Chicago. I don't know anything about Chicago And
20:11
he's like, yeah, I'm from New Jersey. No, I don't know
20:15
anything about New Jersey either, And then later on they like I don't know
20:21
are having. He has this moment where he's telling Bruce Willis like, yeah,
20:26
you know, like my father in law ended up molesting a patient.
20:30
That was so so dark, and also like that was very something about Mary
20:36
as well. It was something you're right, like kind of throwing indies.
20:40
I remember, this was kind of like an edge edge Lord time when like
20:45
you know, just throwing something like that in there. It seemingly had nothing
20:49
to do with the plot, like I guess because well because like wait,
20:56
it's her dad right that did that? Yeah, her dad did. I
21:00
guess. That's pretty fucked up and like left them with all this debt.
21:03
It's just like a weird dark turn, and it seems like such a huge
21:07
overshare in the moment. That's totally trauma dumping on bruceless. But that's what
21:11
kind of makes their closeness seem like it makes sense because it seems like Bruce
21:17
kind of reacts to Chandler's trauma responses Yeah totally. He's kind of like,
21:22
oh, this guy's like fucking harmless. I'm just gonna like yeah totally.
21:26
It totally feels like I know this guy won't do anything. Everyone treats this
21:32
guy completely. Well, it's interesting that you mention the Coen Brothers because this
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movie reminded me of another picuresque movie, and that's The Piglebowski, where like
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a character finds himselves and that's not exactly the definition of a picresque, but
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it's a kind of picaresque where like a character finds himself in or themselves in
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like a like a a strange circumstance where they have to kind of where they're
22:00
thrust into this main characterness. And that's kind of what we get with Chandler
22:03
in this. But it's funny because everyone treats him like the whole point of
22:10
the movie is that nobody. Everyone underestimates him at every turn, and that's
22:14
why he sort of like gets to be kind of a hero. Yeah,
22:18
the difference, you're absolutely. I think that's a good point of comparison.
22:22
The difference is the filmmaking is way better in the Bill Glowski, obviously,
22:26
But the bigger difference I think is that there's big Lebowski. The whole movie
22:33
is from his point of view. Like the whole movie basically it's true,
22:37
and because you're seeing that very particular worldview, everything seems calm and cool and
22:45
collected and kind of funny and kind of ridiculous. So it's really nice to
22:52
have that guiding force through that movie, whereas this because it doesn't have enough
22:59
of a like maybe directorial courage. Maybe it doesn't have enough. That's why
23:03
there are some like neat stuff like the Dutch angles and like making things a
23:07
little bit weirder and a little creepier work really well for the movie. But
23:12
it does. It's the it's a budgetary restraint as well. But I like
23:18
the darkness that it goes for because in the next scene, after Oz gets
23:23
dropped off back at his house, Rosetta arc is like, oh my god,
23:29
I have such a good idea. Go search for god what's his name
23:37
again? Go search for Yanni Gogolac of the Gogolac Gang, who Bruce Willis
23:45
the When Bruce Willis rated out and he got seventeen years and Bruce Willis caught
23:53
five years, she's like, and maybe you can work out a finder's be
23:59
And he's like, he's the thing that I've really, actually really loved about
24:03
Bruce Willis's performance Bruce Willis Chandler's performance is that he's very consistently like a very
24:11
very humane person. He really really actually doesn't want to hurt anybody. No,
24:17
and he's the only one like really advocating for any sense. And in
24:21
the whole situation, Yeah, leave him alone. We'll just pay whatever,
24:25
We'll pay off her debts. But the adding the debt in there is such
24:27
a good is a motivating motivating factor that I really love in this movie.
24:33
But like it also kind of has the like, you know, shit wife
24:37
kind of like thing. He's like a nice guy and his wife is like
24:41
just a horrible person. She does a really good job, dude. That
24:47
end scene when she's like like a wreck in the like police station and then
24:52
looks up to see if she's if she's getting away with it, it's so
24:59
good. And and then Amanda Pete is in the office being like, yeah,
25:03
dude, you should just get your dick wet while you're in Chicago.
25:06
Just wrap very very like excited for this guy to fuck. I know.
25:11
It's so weird in a way that like a man wishes that a woman would
25:18
be excited for him to fuck another woman. And then every time, every
25:22
time Rosada Ka tries to be sexy with Chandler He's always like it's grothy,
25:30
and it makes me grossed out a little bit because it's like I felt grossed
25:34
out by her in this movie. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah. And then
25:40
she immediately backstabs him and is like, so yo ski my husband. It's
25:48
like whoa. Immediately it was so funny. I laughed so much. It's
25:52
just driving really fast and then being excited to tell him brucellis doing that kind
26:02
of half smile that Bruscellis does, suspicious half smile. Bruce, such cheeky
26:07
Bruce Entergy. Totally totally. What I do like about this movie too,
26:11
is that Chandler comes to Chicago and we know he's he comes from here and
26:15
then goes to meet this like random friend that he has ever comes back.
26:19
I love the friend and and but he's such important though, because he reveals
26:26
the information totally totally yeah. Basically he's like my next door neighbors Jimmy to
26:33
Desky and the friend is like what what, Oh my god, what are
26:41
you gonna do? Such like halfless Danny mulroon energy. Totally. It would
26:47
if it was Sandler playing the main character role, this would be Alan Covert
26:51
for sure. What what what but yeah, and then and then we get
26:59
our first reveal of Michael Clark Duncan pulling this performance up with such ease and
27:07
gravitas and and totally like like scary in the kind kind way that he can
27:15
be. Oh dude, no, because it works so well with him being
27:18
intimidating by we're just smiling politely and being really gentle for the most part of
27:25
that, but then using his size the side and like not even doing anything
27:30
that like like he doesn't have to chase him or anything. He's just and
27:34
then gently holding him like later when he carries like a baby totally totally,
27:44
but he's like testing him. He's testing him because of the reveal later,
27:48
which is also a layer upon layer of like Oz being used in this like
27:53
game as a pawn, which I also really liked, which is how Lebowski.
27:57
You're right, there is a lot of crossover between the Big Lebowski,
28:02
but there's also a crossover with it feels like you know what, it feels
28:04
like. It feels like if the Fairly Brothers wanted to do And when Chandler
28:14
is holding on to his head, he gets punch and is like trying the
28:22
hold. Yeah wait, wait, how is he holding on? He like
28:26
grabs him and when he gently tries to pick him up, Chandler tries to
28:30
pick himself up by holding on what's his name his head to his head?
28:34
Yeah, what's his name? Michael Clark, Michael Clark, Duncan's head.
28:37
Yeah, it's so it's so funny. He is such amazing casting and he
28:44
he does such a good job. And the thing I was thinking is,
28:47
look at the fabric of his suit and how billowy extra billery. It has
28:51
to be around that enormous chest. Totally, totally. And then we get
28:56
introduced to Janny Gogolak, who's played by Kevin Paula. Like, r I
29:00
P. Michael Klak Duncan, Yeah, yeah, r I P. He
29:04
he looks Jack the whole time, full time. Yeah, he lost a
29:07
bit of weight, it did it? Did he? He died from a
29:11
heart attack, right, something like that. I'm pretty sure it was a
29:12
heart attack. Yeah, he's He was so awesome. And he had that
29:17
voice too. The voice was the like key factor, you know, just
29:22
like that was the gateway to him being gentle, you know what I mean?
29:26
Like this man who's like very intimidating looking but he also has such a
29:32
kind face, like it's like like he like when he smiled, he does
29:37
have gentle and so when he smiles, there's a real like you're like,
29:41
oh my god, it's like it's like a it's like somebody like, uh,
29:45
like familiar to you smiled at you. Yeah, totally, totally.
29:49
And then there's this one scene where Kevin Pollack is being introduced to Oz and
29:57
it's a terrible accent, but he does such a good job. It's like,
30:03
I wish he didn't do the accent. I wish it was just kind
30:06
of like like an immigrant kid accent. Maybe because he could do that,
30:10
He could do that, just enunciates some of your consonants a little more,
30:12
Yeah, exactly. But we are going, we are going. Yeah,
30:18
totally. But there's also a part which is really funny that I noticed happening
30:23
twice, and it's where Yanni Gogolaco's excuse me, and then it repeats again
30:33
in the same way, and I was like, wait, was that the
30:36
same take that they just put twice? And they totally did. There was
30:40
something so jarry about it. What did it happen here? Yeah? Yeah,
30:45
I thought I mad for sure. Yeah, And then I watched it
30:48
again and I was like, excuse me, and what an interesting choice?
30:55
What an interesting choice? Totally totally excuse me. Kevin pollic man something you
31:00
got it? You kid? Did I about poll shows up for every single
31:04
role he's ever cast? Yeah, dude, yeah, he he could actually,
31:08
I just I just saw it. Excuse me, excuse me, but
31:21
yeah, and then Natasha Henstridge comes in, and you know, Chandler also
31:30
has this amazing ability to like really show a lot on his face. It
31:34
is sort of over the top. It is very theater kid acting, but
31:38
he does do it really compellingly and really well. And I do think that
31:45
he's really actually a really solid actor. I think that he could do a
31:48
lot of I don't know with his melty face. Now. I think that
31:52
he's due for a comeback. I think that he could be very very cool
31:56
in a movie. Well, what would you cast him in? Like,
31:57
what do you imagine him being? I imagine him doing like an S.
32:01
Craig Zoler, like being in an S. Craigsoler movie. And sort of
32:08
he can be hapless. I'd be okay with him being hapless, but a
32:13
totally muted down kind of hapless. None of the same like what he what
32:16
s Craig did to mel which is like rob him of everything that makes him
32:22
a scary guy, and he needs to portray that very stoically, you know
32:27
what I mean? Yeah, I agree? Do you want to do for
32:30
a few dollars more? Do you want to finish it? Yea? We
32:30
should. We should finish it. We should, we should do bone to
32:34
Hawk dude, Yeah we should. Okay, Michael Clark duncant? Do you
32:37
want to go through this? How do you want to go through this?
32:38
I don't know, Like I mean, the thing I was thinking and I
32:43
wanted to see how you feel about this. There was something about this movie
32:49
that made me anticipate all of the procedural aspect of the farcical nature of it,
32:55
where like all of the like goofy, hapless things are happening all the
32:59
time time, and you're just like, oh my god, like this thing
33:05
has to happen because then this thing will happen. And there's just a kind
33:07
of like comedy of errors vibe to it, of like this thing he leads
33:15
to this thing, and like I just felt a little like bored by that
33:21
part of it. It was good and I really enjoyed it, but like
33:24
that part of it made me feel like kind of roll my eyes at times,
33:29
Like I was like, I'm bored because I'm like anticipating certain aspects.
33:34
It doesn't it's not written well enough in parts to keep the interest of a
33:40
movie like this. That's true, and it's it feels like a lot of
33:44
it has to be shouldered by the fact that it's like it's him. He's
33:49
a comedy guy, he's funny. And then when when he goes, look
33:52
Bruce willis you've seen him in Friends? Yeah, totally. And then when
33:57
when Chandler goes to barf and Natasha head straighte gets really close to him and
34:01
she's like, have you vomited recently? It's like really funny stuff like that.
34:07
And did you catch that they totally cheated that that was that he was
34:12
puking where the bathtub would be definitely on the other side. Yeah, one
34:17
hundred percent. One hundred percent. I saw that, and I was like,
34:22
this, they just wanted that. They wanted that shot. Of course,
34:25
of course, because he doesn't get it from the phone. He doesn't
34:28
even hunch over like goes and and then he gets a call from Bruce Willis
34:35
and he's like, just come home. Yeah, we can talk when you
34:37
come home. And it seems that every time that Bruce Willis is reassuring him,
34:43
it really is like, no, I'm not going to kill like he
34:45
actually will never never even intended to kill him. Yeah, totally totally.
34:50
He will kill everyone but him totally. And then but when Natasha Ridge comes
34:55
in and she blows the smoke and is in his face, he's like blinks
35:00
a little unnayingly. He oz Chandler manages to do a lot of excelling at
35:10
what he's good at and that's what he's been hired to do. Yeah,
35:15
and that's the thing that also it's it's fun for me, fun, it's
35:21
fun for me, but it's also man like. It's so it must be
35:24
one so annoying for him, but also to like it doesn't really stretch him
35:29
in any way, Bruce or No, Bruce is like I got his total
35:37
side character and also is like a little bit it's a little bit dead eyed,
35:43
but it works really well for the character. Not good. We're far
35:46
away from goofy eyes at this point, dude, dude, But I wouldn't
35:51
give her some wacky eyes, dude, yeah, that would be amazing.
35:54
But yeah, Oz like brushes his teeth and they like he ends up like
35:59
some I want trauma dumping on Natasha as well, and she trauma dumps on
36:04
him, and she reveals to him that like, oh, like Yanni wants
36:08
to kill me. Yanni wants to kill Bruce because Yanni needs to collect ten
36:13
ten million dollars because it's his money that's in our account, but he needs
36:15
both of us dead to collect it. Whatever, we get that sort of
36:20
thing. But that reveals that Bruce wants to kill Natasha as well. So
36:24
there there's a lot of like fuckedness going on and like complexity to the characters,
36:30
which like can bring them closer together quickly, but it's also feels like
36:37
it's just too quick, Like it's like they just end up fucking immediately.
36:40
And it's like Chandler's not that charming, definitely not charming. Not Natasha can
36:49
she would like not even look at him like that. No, not Natasha
36:52
Henstridge. And it's kind of interesting, actually that what did you make of
36:59
because he falls in love with her immediately and it's like I love her and
37:02
that's fine and that's okay, but what did you what did you make of
37:07
her reaction where she's kind of like, I don't know, like what do
37:12
you mean, Like I just met you. I really liked that. It
37:15
was really cool. It was cool, yeah, because like interesting, it
37:19
was interesting, and that also gave a little bit of tension to their relationship.
37:25
That was like like you know, when she has sex with him and
37:30
he's like I'm not gonna let that happen, you know, and and like
37:32
he's not gonna let her get killed or whatever, and it's kind of cool
37:37
that he like he earns, like thirty minutes in, he like sort of
37:40
earns the motivation that he can get to do all the things that he ends
37:45
up doing, even though he's kind of a goofy like dork. So you
37:52
know, like I was pretty down. And then yeah, you know,
37:58
then the Bruce b he goes back with Michael Clark duncan to to Bruce and
38:05
they get a hotel and but before that he calls what's her name, Amanda
38:10
Pete and he's like, I've got my dick wet, I don't know what
38:14
to do, and she's like keeping on that face that like eyes, Yeah,
38:27
totally, she had excited eyes for sure. I mean, she definitely
38:30
had the face of someone who's very excited to hear about someone's which is the
38:35
face that I make when I'm excited to hear about someone. And then Bruce
38:39
Bruce is waiting at the hotel for both of them, and Chandler sees Bruce
38:45
and immediately runs into Michael Clark Duncan and falls and I don't know, just
38:51
like this is the scene where I was like, man if Jim was he
38:54
did a really good job doing the body body comedy. He can't do what
39:00
Jim Carrey does that thing, Like Jim Carrey is like a stunt person.
39:07
Yeah, he is a stunt person. And then Bruce is like franky fix
39:13
Jimmy t And then they hug each other and Bruce likes black people in this
39:19
movie, and black people like Bruce in this movie absolutely absolutely. But it
39:22
feels more natural in this than a lot of the other I mean, we'll
39:25
talk about what happens later, but I mean, yeah, dude, we
39:29
will. We will talk about what happens later. And then they go to
39:31
a restaurant where there's some like weird Terry Gilliam shots that I know, there
39:39
is a lot of stuff in this that's like really interesting looking and really like
39:45
warping me into an uneasy reality that is like fully in in line with how
39:52
anxious, not only how anxious Oz has felt, but is feeling in the
39:58
moment that it's like surreal for him. And it just it didn't maintain that
40:04
energy throughout. And I think that's why you were bored, because it's like
40:09
you get these parts where like even Frankie Figs when he grabs Oz and it's
40:14
like shaking him like violently. I love that because it's like they're they're like
40:21
caving in on him. He looks like he could like easily rush him.
40:25
Yeah, totally, Yeah, absolutely, And it's like chunky fist, just
40:30
like grabbing this pencil neck dufist, you know. Like and this hair,
40:37
this hair that every kid my age had, that Chandler has, the only
40:43
hair you could have right now is sticky up at the with a little bit
40:49
longer everywhere else on top and then pushed to the front and then the skateboard
40:52
swoop you know where it's like, damn, dude, you're wearing a baseball
40:59
cap at all times. At all times. Yeah, absolutely, and then
41:02
like you know, having these like little moments of Chandler being like, you're
41:06
gonna kill her and he's like, yeah, yeah, I'm gonna kill her,
41:13
and it was so like that. Yeah, and even like when he's
41:19
like going to drill the tooth and he's shaking and the man it cuts to
41:23
the man and he's like so terrib They got this other Danny Malroon who did
41:29
a really good job being just afraid and he was like, you know what,
41:31
mister Halpern, I we're gonna have to pull out the tube and he's
41:37
like he leaves, like oh when he left, I was like, is
41:42
that Mike White? And I was like, oh my god. He totally
41:45
looked like Mike White, right Yeah. And then he tries to kill himself
41:49
by gassing himself. And does he try and kill himself? I think so
41:52
yeah. I think that's what he's trying to do because he doesn't want to
41:55
deal with anything really, And then I thought it was just like trying to
42:00
like relax. I mean maybe maybe, But Amanda Pete comes in and she
42:05
and he's like, I have Jimmy the Tulip living next to me, and
42:07
she was She's like Jimmy the Tulip and she gets so wet. It's it's
42:14
very weird, like she decides in that moment that she's going to be in
42:17
a relationship with him, and I loved it because it's she seems unhinged.
42:23
But this is also the kind of thing that gave it a Fairly Brother's reality,
42:29
just how this thing happens. And you know what, that's the go
42:34
between between feeling like it's too dark in the Gilliam sense or too light in
42:40
the the Fairly Brother's sense, And like the Fairly Brothers also do dark,
42:49
they just kind of make it stupid. Well, they make it like really,
42:52
they make the image very saturated and very like pleasant to look at,
42:58
and it's very off putting. Dark things happen like pretty bird, Pretty bird,
43:02
you know, Oh my god, he's yeah, you know, and
43:10
then like that contrast where you're like, oh no, you're such a bad
43:15
person. Kind of the difference between a dumb and dumber and a dumb and
43:21
dumber uncut because more like this ringe sociopathic weird. Yeah, and like the
43:30
other one, there's some deniability to totally honestly, it feels nicer to watch
43:36
the because it's people trying to do their best with the limited brain capacity they
43:42
have, whereas the other thing is just like, well, like the thing
43:45
is everybody's mistaking their idiocy for intelligence because everybody else is smart. That's what
43:54
makes it makes it interesting is that everybody else is really actually like smarter than
44:00
they are. But then they're like giving too much credit anyway. I when
44:06
when they come to Bruce Willis and she's like when she's smiling huge, she
44:21
wants to fund this dude's soundary right away. Like this movie kind of wrote
44:27
her as like a dumb slovering slid basically, like like but it worked,
44:32
It worked really well. She did a really good job. Yeah, yeah,
44:37
I just yes, she did a very good job. But it was
44:43
a little bit outrageous. I mean, that's the thing is that it kind
44:46
of has to be outrageous because like you have to collect the knowledge that she
44:52
tried to kill Oz her his wife called her to do that. Bruce w
45:00
know then that he was, Oh, your secretary, this person I hired
45:05
to kill you. Would she not know that she was on purpose? She
45:09
got the job on purpose because she was trying to get to know Oz.
45:13
In fact, that's what she's telling him. Oh I did I got a
45:16
job at his work very good, you know, it's like he's like talking
45:23
about her skills. But what I loved about this scene is when when they
45:28
come to the door and Oz is like so despondent because he's like, I
45:32
don't know what's happening anymore. I'm not the main character anymore. This is
45:37
an ensemble piece, and Bruce Willis goes, what is this sus like like
45:45
so scary? He like he knows how to do just so little and just
45:51
be like, whoa dude like that would be so scary. If Bruce Willis
45:55
did this to me, I'd be like, oh my god, dude.
45:58
She didn't move his forward head, not at all, not at all.
46:01
What he did he did this school effect. And also I love what do
46:09
you relax? Why don't you go and make yourself a martini and just constantly
46:14
like making this nervous already nervous guy trying to relax by giving him alcohol.
46:24
But yeah, but then Bruce Willis goes into this story about how he got
46:30
too close to him Mark, and this I think is the best part of
46:32
the of Bruce Willis's performance in the movie, where he's like explaining this guy
46:39
who was like it felt like Bruce Willis knew this guy and he just told
46:43
this story as a murderer basically, and was like, this is this cute,
46:46
short guy who like, I don't know. He was just like made
46:50
me laugh, made me feel good, like, you know, and then
46:52
I told him. I was like when I was gonna kill him, I
46:54
was like, go run, run, I just I'm gonna look away,
46:58
you just go, and the little fucking weasel when I turned around shot me
47:02
in the back. And then he was like and then I he took a
47:07
long time to die, you know what I mean. It's like it was
47:10
the perfect combination of this guy being kind of a sociopath, liking who he
47:16
likes because he like, you know, he is a human or whatever,
47:22
but then like letting that viciousness come out and like with only a couple of
47:25
words, being like nah, and then I tortured him to death because he
47:29
fucking shot me, you know what I mean? I mean? And then
47:34
and then uh, what's her name? Evan Appede like is like goes to
47:39
see the scar and then she licks her lips. It totally tries the tooth.
47:45
But then Bruce Willis is like smiling, and it's like it's nice,
47:49
it's a nice moment, and they're they're all weirdly treating it like again,
47:53
he shouldn't be nervous about anything, but I actually really like that contrast.
47:59
Throughout the entire everybody's so confident except for him. Oh he's also got some
48:06
like Matthew Broderick energy of this. Yeah yeah, totally, yeah, absolutely,
48:13
yeah yeah yeah. And then of course one of the best actors,
48:21
Harlan Williams talk about Fairly Brothers. Oh, dude, And that was also
48:24
another thing. He's also somebody who Harlan Williams is somebody who could fully cross
48:29
over to any of the people we named. I'm sure the obviously the Fairly
48:35
Brothers. Sam Raimi could definitely cast him in a movie. The Coen Brothers
48:39
could totally also cast him in a movie. You know, it would be
48:43
one of their zanier ones. But of course still they're like, oh,
48:46
we can't have Harlet Quinn in his serious role totals so funny, dude,
48:52
he immediately as soon as you see his face, it's funny. It's so
48:54
funny. And then because he knows how to make the done guy and he
49:02
does it all for was so much yeah, totally. But yeah, then
49:06
the plan unravels and Yanni Gogolac comes to fucking kill Bruce Willis. The thing
49:15
about this movie that's interesting. It's not good about this movie, it's but
49:19
it's interesting is that Yanni Gogolac, set up as the villain of the movie,
49:24
gets killed almost like thirty minutes before the movie ends. We set up,
49:30
we have to set up Harlan Williams, who's been who's been paid by
49:37
his oz's wife to kill him. And it turns out that Harlan Williams is
49:43
a cop, which is perfect. He played like all the cops on this
49:46
perfect copcast like a loser, sweeer, bullied in high school guys. But
49:57
Harlan Williams seems like the badass of them, which is really funny. And
50:04
then Jannico Black with his teammates like get fucking killed by Bruce Willis and and
50:10
what's his name, Michael Clarke Duncan And what's her name? I mean,
50:16
Pete gets her first kill with her mobies. Yeah right, she comes out
50:21
in a stunning shot of like almost her entire naked body and she's just like
50:29
shooting and and they're distracted by her beauty. Yeah, and like there was
50:36
that, there was that moment after Okay, what do you make of their
50:40
fucking plan dude to like shave and carve out? Okay, Okay, So
50:46
this is an interesting Yeah, this is interesting because they do the same thing
50:51
in Novacane, which came out a year after this, where what's his name,
50:57
what's his name, Steve, Steve Martin houlds his teeth out and puts
51:00
it in a in a different person, which that would radically change your face.
51:06
It would so radically change his face. Absolutely. I liked the idea.
51:10
I thought it was a clever idea for a movie, you know what
51:13
I mean, Because what happens is Harlan Williams sees that Yanni Gogolak is in
51:16
there, and then he's like, oh, I gotta go in there because
51:20
he's a cop and she doesn't know that yet. And then Michael Clark Duncan,
51:24
after they kill him, realizes that he's a cop. And then there's
51:29
this whole like process of of like Natasha Henstridge and Oz leaving him, finding
51:39
out that that he Oz is in love with his ex wife, and you
51:45
know all this kind of stuff, which like is nice to wrap that story
51:50
up. But because there's no tension. The only tension is that, like,
51:53
Bruce Willison might kill Oz and that's the whole tension of the last movie,
51:59
that last part of the movie. But we kind of know that he's
52:01
not going to kill him, and they're like with the Cones, there would
52:05
always be that feeling. You could always feel that the Cones are going to
52:07
kill any random fucking person that you like, but instead, do you want
52:15
to go to the ending? Instead? He kills Michael Clark Dunkin, And
52:20
you know what, the justification it's fine, Like I didn't I'm not mad
52:24
at it. I just thought it was you know, like it's kind of
52:28
interesting, like and the rationalization makes sense, but like we've grown to like
52:34
love this character. I know, I know, and it's just felt a
52:37
little like wait, why, Like but here's the here's what felt weird I
52:42
think, And maybe maybe it's it's different for you, But what I think
52:46
is the weirdest part is that why would Bruce Willis be any more willing to
52:54
like be rational human being than well, it goes back to something that you
53:04
said earlier. It goes back to something that you said earlier, and I
53:07
think if we're following the line that the movie wants us to take, then
53:10
it makes sense, and that is that Michael Perry, Matthew Matthew Perry is
53:17
somehow like otherworldly good, like he's too nice. But I don't think we
53:24
read it as that anymore. I think we kind of read also his neuroses
53:30
as like manipulative and a little like he's a little bit of a fucking sad
53:34
sack that you know what I mean, like a suck you know what I
53:37
mean, Like and so like I'm not reading him as like this like overarching
53:40
good that like needs to be saved like over Michael Clark Duncan. Yeah,
53:45
there's no more likability to either of those characters for me. That's the thing
53:51
is that, like both of them have pretty charmed except one guy's a killer.
53:54
I guess that's the big thing. Well, that's the thing, right
53:57
and this guy, that's what Bruce Willis says, He's like have killed me
54:00
if I didn't kill him, Yeah, because it was like he would have
54:01
thought I gone soft because I saved your life. And that's what it just
54:06
seemed callous to kill off this character at the end of the movie. I
54:10
know, like it's like that. It's like doubling down on the darkness of
54:15
the movie in the wrong places sometimes sometimes yeah, exactly exactly, But we
54:21
do get these moments of Bruce Willis testing Matthew Perry being like, Okay,
54:28
well, maybe if she actually loves this dude, I won't kill him and
54:30
I'll actually be free of all of this and it'll be fine, right,
54:36
And Amanda Pete and Natasha Henstridge go to the bank to transfer all the money,
54:43
and then Amanda Pete Is I guess in the background was like being like,
54:47
Okay, well, if she says we'll take the money and run,
54:51
I'll just kill the bitch and we'll get the money and leave and even kill
54:53
Oz. But if she doesn't, we'll give them a million dollars. And
54:59
seems like like a weird purity test. Yeah, it's like a Saw test,
55:02
dude. Yeah, I'd like to play game. Yeah, totally totally
55:09
would like to gently play a game. Hey, yeah, I'd like to
55:14
play game. I'd like to play game. Yeah, And then and then
55:22
what happens due full What was that? No? What would you give the
55:25
movie? Like a six? Yeah? Watching it, I was like,
55:37
this is like a good seven for me, But then like talking about it,
55:40
I'm just kind of like, it's just like a very shallow It's a
55:46
very shallow movie. There's there's no substance, but it's it's well made and
55:53
it's fun and funny and interesting and charming, but it's just very charming.
55:59
There's no there's nothing of like, there's nothing to really sink your teeth into.
56:02
It's just like that's kind of what's like annoying about it, is like
56:06
there's like a I don't know, I was I kept thinking about Frasier watching
56:09
this movie too, Like it's the kind of like sort of like errors that
56:14
would happen playing the same sort of things for laughs. Yeah, totally so.
56:20
But I don't know, I don't know if I like every Fraser episode
56:23
for that reason. Yeah, that's the thing. Ultimately, it's a six
56:28
for me, it's a six for maybe, it's even a five for Bruce's
56:31
interesting because because like he was good, he was good in it. It's
56:36
just like there wasn't enough of him in it, and there wasn't enough like
56:38
side variety for him to be in it. He's like on the poster,
56:44
you know what I mean. I mean He's side character. I mean,
56:45
are we gonna do the whole ten yards? Dude? Of course we have
56:49
to. We have to. It's laurified at this point. Follow us that
56:53
there's for more presents on Instagram, ats on Twitter, and guys, please
56:59
join us on Patrion, join us on the Patreon at patreon dot com slash
57:04
thirsty for more. We just did the whole Sau series and honestly, saw
57:08
isn't the zeitgeist. You guys need to get on that shit and listen to
57:13
it before it's too late. It'll never be too late. You can always
57:15
get it. There's something called collections on Patreon. It's really cool, dude.
57:22
It's like I've been uploading all of our collections and you can put multiple
57:30
episodes in different collections. Like we have a Samuel l season, we have
57:36
a we have a s. Craigsolar season. We have a Schwartzy obviously the
57:40
full Schwartzy season. We have a Renny Harlan season. Dude. We have
57:45
so many mini dives that were inadvertent but that now because of collections, I
57:50
can group them in a way that if you want to just go on a
57:53
Van dam anidive, you can do it. But if you want to see
57:57
here Samuel L. Jackson movies that we've done, you can do that too.
58:01
So and you know, also did a weird Travolta dive as well,
58:05
Predator Jontra Volta. All of the aliens are on there. We've got the
58:09
back to the futures on there. We did do. I should make a
58:13
little Travolta folder. I haven't see you next week. I see you next
58:17
week. Speaking of Spreaker,