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Expecting Better: Debunking Common Parenting Myths with Emily Oster · Other Peoples Parenting

• 0:00
  Hello, everybody.
• 0:01
  Welcome back to another episode of Other People's Parenting, where we read parenting books and review them for you.
• 0:06
  I'm Skylar Hurwitz, amateur parent, and this is my mom, Karen Quinn, New York Times best selling author and founder of Habit Coach and Testing Mom.
• 0:14
  Hello, mom.
• 0:15
  Hi, Skylar.
• 0:16
  How are you today in your gorgeous velvet shawl shirt?
• 0:19
  Oh, thank you, thank you.
• 0:21
  All dressed up for today.
• 0:22
  Is that a paisley print I see?
• 0:24
  It is a paisley print, yes.
• 0:26
  Thank you.
• 0:27
  Thank you.
• 0:28
  Wow.
• 0:28
  I know we kind of match because we're in blue and black.
• 0:32
  Both of us do.
• 0:32
  Yes.
• 0:32
  My shoes, I can't tell if they're like, brown.
• 0:36
  Are they eggplant or brown?
• 0:37
  Eggplant.
• 0:38
  Eggplant.
• 0:39
  Eggplant.
• 0:39
  Yeah.
• 0:40
  Yeah.
• 0:40
  These are dupes of another pair of shoes that I really loved but was not going to spend $2,000 on a pair of heels.
• 0:46
  Well, I don't blame you if it.
• 0:48
  Goes on the ground.
• 0:49
  It's so hard for me to be like, you know what, two grand.
• 0:51
  Nope.
• 0:53
  No, but those are really cute.
• 0:55
  Thank you.
• 0:55
  They're actually pretty comfortable, too.
• 0:56
  I wish I got more colors.
• 0:58
  Yeah, you should have.
• 0:59
  Well, you never know when you buy a pair of shoes if they're actually going to be comfortable.
• 1:03
  That's the problem.
• 1:04
  Yeah, you find out later.
• 1:06
  Yeah.
• 1:06
  But my tennis shoes that I'm wearing right now, I love them so much.
• 1:09
  Your orthotics.
• 1:10
  And they've got orthotics now.
• 1:11
  I'm.
• 1:11
  I'm old enough now that I wear orthotics.
• 1:14
  It's so embarrassing.
• 1:15
  You also just had a knee surgery, so, like, you gotta, you know, go easy on yourself.
• 1:19
  Teen, by the way, is attacking her recovery from all angles.
• 1:22
  She has pt, she's swimming, she's doing the massage.
• 1:28
  Medical.
• 1:28
  Massage.
• 1:28
  Medical massage.
• 1:29
  I mean, I did acupuncture, which you hated.
• 1:33
  I hated.
• 1:34
  But still, I tried everything to get better.
• 1:36
  Yeah.
• 1:37
  For those of you considering a knee replacement, they're lying to you about the recovery time.
• 1:41
  It's hard.
• 1:42
  It's very hard.
• 1:43
  Go into it.
• 1:44
  Presuming it will take twice as long and be twice as hard.
• 1:46
  It's hard.
• 1:47
  But anyway, yeah, that's.
• 1:49
  We're here to talk about babies, right?
• 1:51
  We are talking about babies and we're talking about Emily Oster, who we love.
• 1:55
  We love her.
• 1:57
  She's great.
• 1:57
  Yes, we do like her team.
• 1:59
  Would you like to display the book?
• 2:00
  Oh, yes.
• 2:01
  For our viewers viewing purposes.
• 2:02
  So for those of you who can see us on YouTube, here we are.
• 2:08
  This is called Expecting Better by Emily Oster.
• 2:11
  It's A classic.
• 2:12
  It's a classic.
• 2:13
  It's a modern classic.
• 2:14
  It's a classic.
• 2:15
  Yes, obviously.
• 2:15
  It is a take on what to expect when you're expecting, which I'm sure you probably read when you were expecting.
• 2:24
  I did read that when I was expecting.
• 2:26
  I started to read it when I was expecting.
• 2:29
  And the first, like 50 pages were terrifying.
• 2:32
  Oh, were they?
• 2:33
  Yeah, they just listed all these crazy things that can go wrong.
• 2:35
  And it's like, girl, I did not ask for this.
• 2:37
  Right.
• 2:38
  Well, I think Emily.
• 2:40
  I hope I can call her Emily.
• 2:42
  I don't see why not.
• 2:43
  I don't.
• 2:44
  I don't think she's a doctor because it doesn't.
• 2:45
  She could be a doctor, but Professor.
• 2:47
  She's a professor.
• 2:49
  Professor Emily.
• 2:50
  Well, anyway, I mean, Emily does.
• 2:53
  Has a different way of doing it because what she does, she takes all of those, I guess, wives tales or things that, like they tell you, for example, in what to expect when you're expecting can go wrong.
• 3:08
  And they say, oh, and it's all based on research.
• 3:10
  Well, she goes back and she looks at the research.
• 3:13
  Whose research?
• 3:14
  Whose research?
• 3:15
  And what did it really say?
• 3:17
  She really gets to the bottom of the research and she lets you know what's true and what is really probably not true.
• 3:24
  Yes.
• 3:25
  And then she suggests you make your own decision.
• 3:27
  But still, you know, she gets to the facts.
• 3:33
  And that's what I liked about this.
• 3:35
  Book that is newly pregnant.
• 3:37
  I suggest pick this book up or if you're pregnant with your second child.
• 3:42
  So many myths were debunked for me reading this book, and it gave me such peace of mind.
• 3:50
  Right.
• 3:51
  And I really wish.
• 3:54
  I wish for every person again who is either trying to have a baby, there's a whole segment on conception or is pregnant.
• 4:01
  Just pick this book up.
• 4:03
  It's the only book you need to read before you have a baby.
• 4:06
  Or you can just listen to this.
• 4:07
  Oh, well, true.
• 4:08
  Well, we'll see how much we cover how we get covered, but we'll try to cover a lot of.
• 4:13
  We'll give you a lot of conclusions that Professor Emily came to.
• 4:18
  But if you're pregnant, you probably want to read the research behind.
• 4:23
  And so if you really are going through this, I think it's worth a read for sure.
• 4:28
  But Emily.
• 4:29
  Professor.
• 4:30
  Emily.
• 4:30
  Professor Emily.
• 4:31
  She's an economics professor at the University of Chicago.
• 4:35
  And what she does is she spends her life looking at research studies and data, and she evaluates the quality of the information and the conclusions in the studies.
• 4:44
  You guys might remember a couple weeks ago, we covered her second book, Crib Sheet with our fabulous friend Jersey.
• 4:52
  Yes, we did.
• 4:53
  But this is the book that comes before that.
• 4:55
  Right, right.
• 4:56
  That one starts as soon as the child is born.
• 4:59
  Yeah.
• 4:59
  This one is up to the time the child born.
• 5:02
  Yeah.
• 5:03
  And what happened was she got pregnant and, and she discovered that pregnancy, medical care seems to be a long list of rules based on studies.
• 5:14
  Yeah.
• 5:14
  And at that point she started, you know, researching all these recommendations that doctors made, combed through the recommendations, looked at the studies, came to her own conclusions and put out this book.
• 5:26
  Yes.
• 5:27
  Which was a service to women everywhere.
• 5:30
  Everywhere.
• 5:30
  Yeah.
• 5:31
  Because when I was pregnant, of course, this was a long time ago, you know, my doctor would say all these things to me that are in the book that she's debunking at this point, some of them.
• 5:42
  So that was interesting.
• 5:44
  And so she just says that pregnancy suffers from a lot of misinformation.
• 5:51
  Some of the studies recommendations are based on better data than others.
• 5:56
  And you really can't make any decision based on these studies on pregnant.
• 6:01
  Based on what to do when you're pregnant unless you know about the study and what, what's behind it.
• 6:06
  And that's what this all is.
• 6:08
  Okay.
• 6:10
  So she starts by telling this big story to prove her point about her husband, who's a economist.
• 6:18
  He's an economist and he wrote an a paper on the impact of TV on children under two.
• 6:25
  Because the American Academy of Pediatrics says there should be no television for children under two.
• 6:31
  They say that they can't learn anything from telev.
• 6:33
  So.
• 6:34
  Right, they can't.
• 6:35
  They can't learn.
• 6:36
  And they said, the research said that if.
• 6:39
  That if children under the age of two watch a lot of tv, they're going to perform worse on tests.
• 6:45
  And when you dig into the data, you learn that the score differences between these kids is correlated, but it's not causal.
• 6:53
  Yes.
• 6:54
  So what they, what the media said was that they said, SpongeBob, if your child watches SpongeBob, SpongeBob, your child will be dumber.
• 7:02
  And they said it was like a causal claim.
• 7:05
  And what he did was he put this whole study together where he went back and he looked at test scores of kids who had been exposed to TV when it very first started out in the 1950s, versus kids
• 7:19
  who were living in areas where TV just wasn't available at the same time.
• 7:23
  And he compared their test scores and what he found was that, no, you know, that it was just bunk.
• 7:35
  He says that, you know, you can't compare a one year old who watches four hours of TV a day.
• 7:41
  And a one year old who watches none.
• 7:44
  Because a one year old who watches none probably has more educated parents.
• 7:49
  Yeah.
• 7:49
  There are all sorts of other elements that contribute to this child's test scores.
• 7:53
  Exactly, exactly.
• 7:55
  And the lower test scores were not because they were watching spongebob.
• 8:00
  It was because they were brought up.
• 8:02
  Why do you keep saying it like educated parents?
• 8:05
  Spongebob.
• 8:06
  Spongebob.
• 8:07
  You keep saying spongebob.
• 8:09
  Oh, do I call it with a down glide?
• 8:11
  Why spongebob?
• 8:13
  I don't know.
• 8:14
  I think of it as spongebob.
• 8:16
  Okay.
• 8:17
  I'm kind of.
• 8:17
  It's spongebob, but that's okay.
• 8:19
  Oh, yeah.
• 8:20
  Is it two words or one word?
• 8:21
  It's one word.
• 8:22
  It's a name.
• 8:22
  Spongebob.
• 8:23
  Yeah, I love spongebob.
• 8:28
  I guess I think of it as two words.
• 8:30
  Sponge and Bob.
• 8:31
  No, it's his first name.
• 8:33
  It's his first government name.
• 8:34
  His name is Sponge.
• 8:35
  And his last name is Bob.
• 8:36
  No, his first name is SpongeBob.
• 8:38
  Oh, okay, I got it.
• 8:40
  Okay, whatever.
• 8:42
  SpongeBob.
• 8:43
  SpongeBob came along after you were a child, by the way.
• 8:46
  I watched it.
• 8:47
  Well, yeah, but you were older.
• 8:49
  You were not a little child watching it.
• 8:51
  I felt little.
• 8:52
  Well, I don't remember that.
• 8:54
  That being one of the big shows we watched.
• 8:56
  I saw Blue's Clues a lot of Maury.
• 8:59
  I watched a lot.
• 8:59
  And Montel Williams.
• 9:01
  Oh, really?
• 9:02
  Yeah.
• 9:03
  Oh, anytime I would stay home from school, it would be like Maury, Jerry Springer, Montel.
• 9:09
  But what about.
• 9:10
  Didn't we used to watch those little Rugrat kids all the time?
• 9:13
  Oh, yeah, I love the Rugrats.
• 9:15
  Rugrats.
• 9:16
  And I'm trying to remember what the big.
• 9:19
  For me, I'm thinking back to the cartoons and stuff.
• 9:22
  Yeah, yeah.
• 9:23
  I mean, listen, they were all great, but spongebob.
• 9:26
  But spongebob was a more recent.
• 9:29
  Yeah, a new recent character.
• 9:30
  Exactly.
• 9:31
  Anyway, a couple of the things that she.
• 9:33
  That struck me most excitingly when I got pregnant and read this was so the reason doctors recommend that women do not drink during pregnancy.
• 9:45
  And to be clear, I didn't really drink during pregnancy myself, but they say it actually is safe to have one drink a day.
• 9:53
  A regular sized drink.
• 9:54
  Not just one drink, but six drinks in one glass after the first trimester, I believe.
• 10:01
  Well, did you.
• 10:02
  Okay.
• 10:02
  You're jumping ahead.
• 10:03
  But that's okay.
• 10:04
  But that's okay.
• 10:05
  That's okay.
• 10:05
  We can do that.
• 10:06
  Yeah.
• 10:06
  If I were speaking to another parent who was on the fence about joining Testing mom, you know what I would say to them?
• 10:13
  Is that you're never going to regret having done this.
• 10:16
  You may regret not getting help because you know, you might not get that test score that you're looking for, or you're going to go through a harder experience trying to help your child go through what's something you really
• 10:26
  need professionals to help you on.
• 10:28
  And so I think hindsight is 2020 always.
• 10:30
  And you're really not going to regret this opportunity.
• 10:33
  But did your doctor tell you you couldn't drink?
• 10:36
  Yeah.
• 10:37
  And they said no drinking, no raw fish and all sorts of stuff.
• 10:40
  And Emily was like, actually, you can have a glass of wine.
• 10:44
  There's also.
• 10:45
  Also the caffeine intake.
• 10:48
  Well, let's start with drinking.
• 10:49
  We'll start with drinking.
• 10:50
  Drinking.
• 10:51
  She says as I jump ahead to my notes.
• 10:53
  I know exactly where this is.
• 10:54
  Okay.
• 10:55
  Okay.
• 10:56
  She says, light drinking in the first tr.
• 10:59
  That's one to two drinks a week.
• 11:01
  In the first trimester?
• 11:02
  Yes.
• 11:03
  In the.
• 11:03
  Although I don't know who would want to drink during their first trimester.
• 11:06
  Well, if you are.
• 11:08
  You feel so terrible.
• 11:09
  Well, but I thought.
• 11:11
  Did you feel terrible?
• 11:12
  Yes, I felt terrible.
• 11:13
  I mean, I wasn't vomiting, but I was.
• 11:15
  I was more tired than I had ever been in my life.
• 11:18
  You were tired?
• 11:19
  There was nothing about my life at that point that was like.
• 11:21
  You know what would be great?
• 11:22
  A glass of wine.
• 11:23
  Oh.
• 11:24
  To put me to sleep.
• 11:25
  You were.
• 11:25
  I'm already asleep.
• 11:26
  Okay.
• 11:26
  Okay.
• 11:27
  Well, and then one to two drinks a day in the second or third trimester is okay.
• 11:32
  Yeah, that's what she says.
• 11:34
  She says, look, she looked at all the data, all the studies, and that.
• 11:38
  Idea came about because doctors, male doctors are like.
• 11:42
  Women can't handle limitations.
• 11:44
  If we tell women they can drink while they're pregnant, they're gonna go absolutely ballistic, and they're gonna be in Vegas on benders for nine straight months.
• 11:52
  And.
• 11:52
  No, no, no.
• 11:53
  And she's.
• 11:53
  They do say that you shouldn't drink a lot in a short time.
• 11:56
  So avoid shots.
• 11:58
  Yeah.
• 11:59
  Avoid liquor.
• 12:01
  Say.
• 12:02
  Well, I don't know.
• 12:03
  One to two drinks if liquor is your drink.
• 12:05
  I guess.
• 12:06
  I don't know.
• 12:07
  I feel like maybe that's, like, a mental block for me where it's like, I'm not going to be, like, banging tequila shots.
• 12:12
  Well, I'm pregnant.
• 12:14
  She says, probably avoid shots.
• 12:16
  And heavy drinking in general has negative consequences.
• 12:19
  But then when it comes to caffeine, she said, the studies conclude that caffeine in moderation.
• 12:25
  Coffee in moderation is fine.
• 12:27
  Yeah.
• 12:27
  200 milligrams a day.
• 12:29
  Well, that's two cups of coffee a.
• 12:31
  Day, which, if you're measuring it by caffeine intake, is 200 milligrams.
• 12:35
  Okay, see, I wouldn't know what to do with 200 milligrams.
• 12:38
  Well, nowadays, I think if you get.
• 12:40
  I get, like, cold brew cans, they tell you how many milligrams of caffeine.
• 12:44
  Which, again, if you're ever worried.
• 12:46
  Okay.
• 12:46
  If you're ever like, I need to specifically know how much caffeine I'm having, those are great.
• 12:51
  Oh, because, like, you can't go to a coffee shop.
• 12:53
  Be like, how many milligrams?
• 12:54
  Maybe some.
• 12:54
  But I don't think my coffee shop would have an answer to that question.
• 12:58
  Well, she's saying two cups of coffee, but, you know, cups are different sizes.
• 13:02
  Cups are different sizes, different kinds of coffee be.
• 13:05
  Have different caffeine percentages.
• 13:07
  Well, and then she says some evidence says you can have more up to three to four cups.
• 13:12
  And there's mixed evidence about having four cups a day.
• 13:17
  There are some possible linkages to miscarriage.
• 13:20
  So with coffee, moderation is where you should land.
• 13:25
  One thing you absolutely should not touch or be anywhere near is tobacco.
• 13:29
  Right.
• 13:30
  Smoking, nicotine.
• 13:31
  None of that.
• 13:32
  No.
• 13:32
  Secondhand.
• 13:33
  No, do not smoke, do not vape, do not dip, do not zinn.
• 13:40
  Nothing.
• 13:40
  Nothing.
• 13:41
  Don't.
• 13:41
  Don't be smoking.
• 13:42
  If you're a smoker and you find out you're pregnant, quit immediately.
• 13:46
  Yes, absolutely.
• 13:48
  Yep.
• 13:49
  So she was saying that some of the things that she was told when she started, before she started writing this book, is she was trying to figure out when she could get pregnant.
• 13:59
  And her doctor said, oh, don't worry about your fertility until you're about 35.
• 14:05
  You don't even have to worry about it.
• 14:07
  But she looked at the.
• 14:09
  And she realized, well, wait, no.
• 14:11
  Fertility goes down as you get older.
• 14:13
  And she was 28, and she decided that she really had to get started by the time she was 30.
• 14:20
  Good for her.
• 14:20
  Yeah.
• 14:21
  So, you know, and she had two kids, so, you know, she needed a little time.
• 14:24
  Knock him out.
• 14:24
  Yep.
• 14:25
  She knocked him out.
• 14:26
  I'm gonna be geriatric my next pregnancy.
• 14:28
  Are you?
• 14:29
  Yeah.
• 14:29
  Or, I'm sorry, now we're calling it advanced maternal age.
• 14:32
  Oh, okay.
• 14:33
  Which honestly, sounds bad.
• 14:34
  Sounds just as.
• 14:36
  I mean, I don't know what sounds worse, but I don't feel advanced at any.
• 14:41
  Well, it's because you waited, you know.
• 14:43
  I did.
• 14:43
  Yeah.
• 14:44
  I did.
• 14:44
  It is what it is, so that's okay.
• 14:46
  They'll take good care of you.
• 14:47
  They will all right, so she was also hearing advice about, you have to get into good shape before you get pregnant for a healthier pregnancy.
• 14:55
  She looked at the studies around obesity and pregnancy, and she learned that women classified as obese do have more pregnancy complications for both mother and baby.
• 15:06
  So if you are overweight significantly, there may be some health benefits to losing weight before pregnancy.
• 15:14
  Oh, and this one's, I think, a good one because this was one I remember hearing because I had trouble getting pregnant.
• 15:21
  And so a lot of times obs will say, have sex every other day around the time you ovulate just to make sure that the sperm gets better.
• 15:33
  You know, it has.
• 15:34
  Has a chance.
• 15:35
  Like, if you just have sex every day, the quality of the sperm isn't as good.
• 15:40
  So skip a day, go every other day.
• 15:42
  That's what I was told.
• 15:43
  Okay.
• 15:44
  Yeah.
• 15:44
  And we were trying to get pregnant, so we were following that advice.
• 15:48
  But what she said is, no, there's no benefit to alternating sex days.
• 15:53
  You just have to hit the day of ovulation or the day before.
• 15:58
  That's it.
• 15:58
  Yeah, yeah.
• 15:59
  There was one other thing that she mentioned, too, in the conception section where she's like, a lot of people are worried when they find out they're pregnant, but they didn't.
• 16:08
  They weren't really trying.
• 16:09
  And they're like, man, I was in Mexico.
• 16:11
  I was like.
• 16:12
  I was drinking, I was smoking.
• 16:13
  I was doing all of this stuff.
• 16:15
  Like, is this gonna impact the health of the baby?
• 16:18
  And what she says is, in the first, like, six to eight weeks or something, I'd have to go back and look for the specific timeframe.
• 16:26
  But she's like, that can really only impact your ability to conceive.
• 16:30
  But if you conceive, it's not gonna impact the baby.
• 16:34
  Okay.
• 16:34
  Okay.
• 16:35
  So you're safe if you were in Mexico.
• 16:38
  Don't freak out.
• 16:39
  Yeah, don't freak out.
• 16:40
  Okay.
• 16:41
  Okay, good.
• 16:43
  Now, again with conception, she talks about charting your temperature.
• 16:49
  Is that better than home ovulation kits?
• 16:51
  And she said that ovulation pee sticks cost more, but they are more accurate than temperature methods.
• 17:00
  So that's according to the studies.
• 17:02
  Good to know.
• 17:03
  Yeah.
• 17:03
  So, anyway, so there you go.
• 17:06
  And she talks about the two different kinds of studies, and we know that randomized trials are the best.
• 17:14
  We see this in every one of her books where she talks about this, that that's where they get two groups of people.
• 17:19
  They assign them to different groups randomly, and they're all similar except for one variable that's the best.
• 17:27
  But they don't have A lot of those studies.
• 17:29
  And then when they can't randomize, they do observational data where they compare people who say they do the behavior or not.
• 17:40
  But then you're dealing with people's own personal accounting.
• 17:43
  And it's less scientific.
• 17:45
  It is bit more subjective.
• 17:46
  Exactly.
• 17:47
  So she says those aren't the best, but anyway.
• 17:50
  So we should get to miscarriage.
• 17:52
  Yeah.
• 17:53
  You can get an ultrasound around seven weeks, and this would identify an ectopic pregnancy, if that's what's going on.
• 17:59
  And it can also show if your embryo is developing normally or not.
• 18:02
  There isn't much you can do to prevent an early miscarriage.
• 18:08
  They say that 90% are the result of a chromosomal issue.
• 18:11
  So miscarriage rates do fall from about 11 to 2% after the first 12 weeks, which is why a lot of people wait to do.
• 18:20
  I think you have to wait to do the NIPT test, but also why the people wait to tell anyone.
• 18:25
  Right.
• 18:25
  You know, because you just don't know.
• 18:27
  They're like three months out.
• 18:29
  Yeah.
• 18:29
  And even then, I mean, you just don't know.
• 18:31
  Anything can happen in a pregnancy is the truth.
• 18:34
  But, you know, I mean, we.
• 18:36
  I had a very scary situation like halfway through my pregnancy, but it ended up being fine.
• 18:41
  And like, that's the thing.
• 18:42
  Like, you just don't know.
• 18:44
  Being pregnant is such a.
• 18:46
  Every pregnancy is different.
• 18:47
  Every person is different.
• 18:48
  And you really do just sort of have to like, keep calm and carry on as best you can.
• 18:53
  Because it's all this new weird stuff.
• 18:56
  I know.
• 18:56
  It is.
• 18:57
  It is.
• 18:57
  And they said that the risk of miscarriage is higher if you have a history of miscarriage and if you're older and, you know, I had had a miscarriage and the first time I got pregnant and so the second
• 19:16
  time with you, when I did finally get pregnant, my doctor was able to do some things.
• 19:22
  I went to a doctor who specialized in miscarriage and he was able to give me.
• 19:27
  I think I took like, progesterone suppositories to hold on to the pregnancy.
• 19:33
  So there's things you can do if you've had a miscarry.
• 19:36
  Yeah.
• 19:36
  You can also, if it's an issue with cervical length, you can get a cerclot early on in your pregnancy.
• 19:44
  And like, I wish I had known this because that would have saved me a lot of grief.
• 19:50
  My pregnancy was classified as high risk because we found out late in the pregnancy that I have a short cervix.
• 19:56
  And there's nothing.
• 19:57
  There's like no way of knowing it unless you ask.
• 20:00
  So ask your gynos, ladies.
• 20:02
  You mean they can tell you before you get pregnant?
• 20:05
  They can.
• 20:06
  Or if you're at risk for shortening.
• 20:10
  And I wish I'd known because I might have opted for a cerclage, which would have taken me off of partial bed rest.
• 20:17
  I was partially bedridden for my pregnancy because it's a stitch they put in your cervix that just keeps it closed because I was at risk for preterm delivery.
• 20:27
  I see.
• 20:27
  Okay.
• 20:27
  And the whole big thing was getting me to the point of viability, which I think is around 24 weeks, which obviously high risk.
• 20:34
  You don't want to deliver a baby at 24 weeks, but they have a much higher chance of survival at that point if you have to deliver them early.
• 20:41
  Right.
• 20:42
  But scary.
• 20:43
  And then I went on Reddit to shortservix Reddit, and I learned some amazing tips.
• 20:48
  That's why I love Reddit.
• 20:49
  I love Reddit.
• 20:50
  Yeah.
• 20:51
  Crowdsource your information, ladies.
• 20:54
  Yeah.
• 20:55
  They're so helpful, the people.
• 20:57
  So helpful.
• 20:57
  And so many women had been through something similar where they were like, yeah.
• 21:01
  I mean, I was at the point when I found out that it was too late for a cerclage because at a certain point, it's higher risk than it is beneficial.
• 21:10
  But there were other things I could do to help, and I did all of those things.
• 21:15
  But for my next pregnancy, God willing, I would.
• 21:18
  I might opt for a sur clage just because it will make my pregnancy.
• 21:21
  Now that I have a toddler, I'll be taken care of.
• 21:24
  I can't really be on partial bed rest.
• 21:26
  So you have to consider these things.
• 21:27
  Right, Right.
• 21:29
  Going into a second pregnancy or if you're.
• 21:31
  If you're first pregnancy and you're working and you don't have the ability to be on partial bed rest, like, well.
• 21:36
  And by the way, there's one of the things.
• 21:38
  She says it's farther along, but I'll.
• 21:41
  Tell you now, 18 hates when I go out of order.
• 21:45
  But it's funny because I'm so unorganized in life, but it's.
• 21:49
  You are so organized in pod, in.
• 21:51
  Pot, in the podcast.
• 21:53
  But anyway.
• 21:54
  No, but.
• 21:55
  No but.
• 21:56
  But the bed rest question was one of the things she researched, and she said, really, A lot of people get put on bed rest, but they.
• 22:05
  They.
• 22:06
  She's not sure.
• 22:08
  The evidence suggests it.
• 22:10
  There are risks for bed rest.
• 22:11
  There could get blood clots, which you are at higher risk for when you're pregnant, and a number of other things.
• 22:16
  They say moderate activity is Suggested they were just like, Skylar, don't run a marathon.
• 22:21
  Don't pick anything heavy up.
• 22:24
  Don't go too crazy because.
• 22:27
  So it's not like being in bed sometimes.
• 22:29
  No, it's just they were like, be in bed when you sleep.
• 22:31
  And then the rest of the time I couldn't work out.
• 22:35
  Yeah, there were a lot.
• 22:35
  I wasn't supposed to take stairs after a certain point in my pregnancy if I could avoid them.
• 22:39
  Okay.
• 22:41
  There were all these things that, like this could just send you into preterm delivery.
• 22:44
  And I was like, wow, the world, it's so hazardous.
• 22:47
  I guess so.
• 22:48
  Oh, my gosh.
• 22:49
  Well, anyway, being older is a.
• 22:52
  Gives you a risk also for miscarriage.
• 22:54
  You know, if you're under 20, the miscarriage risk is 4.4% and then 6.7 if you're 20 to 35 and 19% if you're over 35.
• 23:06
  That's scary.
• 23:07
  And if you, if you got pregnant via IVF, one study reported a 30% miscarriage rate.
• 23:14
  And this is interesting.
• 23:16
  A risk factor is nausea.
• 23:18
  If you're not nauseous, you are more likely to miscarry.
• 23:22
  Yeah.
• 23:22
  They say because what causes the nausea is the pregnancy hormone.
• 23:26
  Right.
• 23:27
  So maybe you're producing less of it.
• 23:28
  Less of it.
• 23:29
  But I, I had no nausea and I was able to carry.
• 23:34
  Maybe not no nausea, but I wasn't vomiting.
• 23:36
  I didn't have anything.
• 23:37
  I maybe had one day of feeling a little sick to my stomach.
• 23:41
  Honestly, my PMS is worse than my pre pregnancy.
• 23:45
  Oh, my God.
• 23:46
  I remember when I got my period after being pregnant, I was like shocked.
• 23:49
  Oh.
• 23:49
  I was like, wait, I forgot about this.
• 23:52
  Oh, no, this is okay.
• 23:54
  And for me, it happened after I stopped nursing.
• 23:56
  Oh, it did.
• 23:57
  Okay.
• 23:58
  All right, well, well, all right.
• 24:00
  So then she gets into off limit foods, which is really interesting because she says don't worry about sushi and raw eggs, which they do tell you not to eat.
• 24:09
  She says it's okay.
• 24:10
  I ate raw salmon during pregnancy.
• 24:13
  I avoided tuna in every form because of the mercury content.
• 24:16
  Yeah, mercury.
• 24:17
  She said don't eat tuna because of mercury, but eat fish because omega 3 fatty acids are very good and they're correlated with kids having higher IQs.
• 24:28
  Also take a fish oil supplement if you can stomach.
• 24:30
  Stomach it.
• 24:31
  Oh, yeah.
• 24:31
  But it makes you burp up this fish oil.
• 24:33
  Well, okay.
• 24:34
  Ritual pro tip has one that tastes like mint.
• 24:37
  Oh, nice.
• 24:37
  Yeah, so peep that.
• 24:39
  All right.
• 24:40
  Then she talks about toxoplasmosis, but you can avoid that.
• 24:46
  It's damaging to the baby.
• 24:48
  But you can cut your risk in half by thoroughly washing your vegetables and not eating raw or rare meat.
• 24:55
  Listeria.
• 24:56
  Very bad.
• 24:57
  Very bad.
• 24:57
  Very bad.
• 24:58
  But it's associated with.
• 25:00
  With foods like cantaloupe, celery, sprouts.
• 25:04
  It can be clear.
• 25:05
  It can be in anything.
• 25:06
  It can be in any food.
• 25:08
  Exactly.
• 25:08
  So you hope that you just.
• 25:10
  You just have to be careful.
• 25:11
  Yeah.
• 25:11
  And avoid litter boxes because of toxoplasmosis.
• 25:15
  Yeah.
• 25:18
  Also, there's.
• 25:18
  There's a cat scratch thing that you're supposed to be careful about.
• 25:21
  I don't remember what.
• 25:22
  But remember, I guess cats can be a little more perilous during pregnancy.
• 25:26
  Okay, okay, okay.
• 25:29
  Let's see.
• 25:30
  So we talked about nausea a little bit.
• 25:33
  So prenatal screening.
• 25:35
  This was fun.
• 25:36
  Oh, my God.
• 25:37
  Oh, yeah.
• 25:37
  That's interesting.
• 25:38
  Okay, so you feel like you're at.
• 25:40
  The doctor every week.
• 25:42
  Well, you cut.
• 25:42
  You are there a lot.
• 25:43
  You're there so much.
• 25:44
  Yeah, you go a lot.
• 25:46
  And the question is, should you do a prenatal screening?
• 25:50
  And it says the goal is to.
• 25:52
  Learn if your child or baby has any chromosomes.
• 25:56
  Chromosomal.
• 25:57
  Did I say that right?
• 25:58
  Yeah.
• 25:59
  Abnormalities such as down syndrome.
• 26:01
  And they have amniocentesis, which they do at 16 to 20 weeks.
• 26:05
  And it's said to have a 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage or chorionic villus sampling, CVS done at 10 to 12 weeks, which is said to have a 1 in 100 risk of miscarriage.
• 26:19
  And there's other screening options, like blood tests that you can sequence the DNA they carry.
• 26:24
  No.
• 26:24
  No miscarriage risk.
• 26:29
  But they can't tell you for sure if your baby's gonna be affected.
• 26:32
  Yeah.
• 26:33
  And honestly, even with the other tests, it's not as if they can detect absolutely every potential abnormality.
• 26:39
  Not every potential.
• 26:40
  And also for some people, they suggest doing genetic testing prior to see if you are predisposed for certain things, which, you know, depending on your circumstances, worth considering might be.
• 26:52
  That's right.
• 26:52
  And so in her case, she said, okay, I was trying to figure out what should I.
• 26:56
  And she said, one, I could do nothing and just wait and see.
• 27:00
  Two, I could just start with less invasive screenings and only do more invasive screenings if the results indicate a risk.
• 27:07
  Or three, I should just do the tests and find out for sure.
• 27:12
  And she spends a lot of time on these tests, so, I mean, you really have to read this part.
• 27:17
  But she researched everything.
• 27:20
  She wanted to know how accurate it was at detecting chromosomal problems.
• 27:28
  And specifically which ones.
• 27:30
  Right, which ones.
• 27:31
  Exactly.
• 27:32
  Anyway, where she Came down was, she said, with CVS and amniocentesis, those are the ones that have a needle going into your uterus where they take cells out of your head.
• 27:42
  Those are the ones that carry a risk of miscarriage.
• 27:45
  The rest are just a blood test.
• 27:46
  Exactly.
• 27:47
  And so she said doctors do cite the 1 in 200 risk of miscarriage for amnio, 1 in 100 for CV.
• 27:55
  She says these are high figures.
• 27:57
  She looked at the data.
• 27:58
  She concluded these figures are from low quality historical data.
• 28:03
  The risks are much lower.
• 28:05
  More like 1 in 800 or possibly even 1 in 1600, which is good.
• 28:10
  Well, also you have to consider, you know, this is the, the data they were citing was global.
• 28:15
  So if you're in a more developed country, the chance of, of most of these complications is inherently lower because the quality of care you'll be receiving is typically higher.
• 28:26
  Typically, yes.
• 28:27
  Uh huh.
• 28:27
  So she says, you know, when making the decision, look at your age, you know, the older you are, the higher the risk and the, versus the risk of miscarriage, what's most important to you?
• 28:38
  It comes down to your own preferences.
• 28:41
  She says she decided to skip invasive testing with her first child, but she did it with her second.
• 28:47
  Yeah, I might do it with my second, but I'll see.
• 28:49
  I mean, I'm gonna be over 35, so.
• 28:52
  Yeah, yeah.
• 28:53
  So yeah, I think it's worth considering.
• 28:56
  And again now knowing that the risks are so much lower than they're initially sort of, you know, represented.
• 29:02
  That's comforting.
• 29:02
  That is comforting, exactly.
• 29:05
  Other things, other perils.
• 29:08
  There are so many.
• 29:09
  There really are.
• 29:10
  Gardening.
• 29:11
  Another thing that is a risk of toxoplasmosis, which causes low iq, vision problems, and occasionally worse, worst case, death for babies.
• 29:20
  If you must garden while pregnant, use gloves and a mask to avoid inhaling, I imagine fertilizer particles, I guess, and then hair dye.
• 29:28
  Chemicals can cause birth defects in rodents and cancer.
• 29:33
  But she looked at the studies and says that there's not really a reason to worry about hair dye during pregnancy.
• 29:38
  Okay.
• 29:39
  Don't take Accutane, which is an acne medication.
• 29:42
  It has so many, many side effects.
• 29:44
  So if you don't need it, don't take it.
• 29:46
  Either way.
• 29:47
  One of its ingredients is associated with birth defects, but the data isn't super clear on topical retinoids.
• 29:53
  So retinol, Retin, A, Evita.
• 29:56
  But she suggests avoiding them because again, there's just not that much data one way or another.
• 30:03
  But you can use salicylic acid and sunscreen and self tanners while pregnant.
• 30:08
  So avoid anything that raises your temperature above 101 degrees.
• 30:12
  So.
• 30:12
  So hot tubs.
• 30:14
  Hot tubs, honestly, are kind of gross regardless.
• 30:16
  Unless they're, like, your personal hot tub.
• 30:18
  Oh, I didn't think of that.
• 30:20
  And I've been getting in the hot tub at the health club.
• 30:22
  Oh, I don't do that.
• 30:23
  Public hot tubs are a no for me.
• 30:25
  Are they?
• 30:27
  It's like a water park.
• 30:29
  I guess you're right.
• 30:30
  I don't know, Bevy.
• 30:32
  My nanny growing up instilled the fear of God in me about water parks.
• 30:37
  Really?
• 30:37
  She's like, skylar, you don't understand.
• 30:39
  You think you know about germs, but then you get to a water park.
• 30:43
  Every germ under the sun exists in great quantities at water parks.
• 30:48
  So public water things I'm generally a bit wary of.
• 30:51
  Okay.
• 30:51
  Just in life.
• 30:54
  So no saunas, hot baths.
• 30:56
  I mean, I was.
• 30:58
  My first few months being pregnant, I was literally measuring the temperature of my bath.
• 31:02
  And then I was like, you know what?
• 31:03
  This is silly.
• 31:04
  I can't live like this.
• 31:05
  And it was fine.
• 31:06
  Okay.
• 31:07
  People worry about radiation on planes, but she says unless you travel, like, super frequently, you're probably.
• 31:12
  Probably fine.
• 31:13
  So if you're a flight attendant or a pilot, you may need to limit your flights, but anything less than that, you're probably fine.
• 31:20
  And sex is generally safe during pregnancy.
• 31:23
  Unless you find out you have a short cervix, in which case it's not.
• 31:27
  Now we know.
• 31:28
  Now we know.
• 31:29
  Okay.
• 31:30
  So eating for two.
• 31:31
  This is another myth.
• 31:32
  She's like, you don't really need to eat twice as much as you usually do.
• 31:37
  You can get by with an extra, like, 300 calories.
• 31:40
  So, like an apple, that's not a lot.
• 31:43
  Okay.
• 31:46
  And she says it's not clear that.
• 31:48
  If you gain excess weight when you're pregnant that this is going to impact your child's weight later.
• 31:52
  She thinks that the impact is, like, small to none.
• 31:54
  But if you do gain more weight than recommended, your child might be bigger at birth, which, you know, do with that what you will.
• 32:02
  Depending on your method of delivery, I might be concerned about that.
• 32:06
  But in terms of impacting your baby, it's probably worse if they're born too small than if they're born too large.
• 32:12
  That's across the board.
• 32:13
  Agreed upon.
• 32:14
  Yes.
• 32:14
  Okay.
• 32:16
  Illness in pregnancy, unless, like, the flu and Covid, can be very serious in pregnancy, but it won't cause fetal complications.
• 32:24
  But talk to your doctor about getting vaccinated before you're pregnant.
• 32:27
  Like, if you're trying, it's worth getting mmr.
• 32:31
  Potentially Covid.
• 32:32
  Potentially flu.
• 32:33
  I think you can't.
• 32:34
  Can still get them.
• 32:36
  Oh, yes.
• 32:37
  While you're pregnant.
• 32:37
  I think I got.
• 32:39
  I think I got.
• 32:40
  I know I got a vaccine while I was pregnant, but I don't think it was mmr.
• 32:43
  Okay.
• 32:47
  Oh, my God.
• 32:47
  You can get Parvo.
• 32:49
  People can get Parvo?
• 32:51
  Well, it says.
• 32:51
  Yeah.
• 32:52
  Parvo virus.
• 32:53
  It says it doesn't cause birth defects, but will cause fetal anemia that needs treatment.
• 33:00
  And there's two other things they said to watch out for.
• 33:03
  They're very common.
• 33:04
  Common cytomegalovirus.
• 33:06
  I never heard of that.
• 33:07
  It's a herpes virus and parvovirus.
• 33:10
  Yeah.
• 33:10
  Herpes can be very dangerous for babies.
• 33:13
  Oh, I didn't know that.
• 33:14
  Yeah.
• 33:15
  Okay, but she said talk to your doctor.
• 33:18
  Yeah.
• 33:18
  Because this is a case by case basis.
• 33:21
  Exactly.
• 33:22
  That's crazy.
• 33:23
  I had no idea people could get Parvo.
• 33:25
  I've only ever seen my dogs get vaccinated for Parvo.
• 33:27
  Oh, yeah, my dog.
• 33:29
  Yeah, mine too.
• 33:30
  And most doctors, when you find out you're pregnant, they will give you an STD test and just sort of confirm, like, what you have and don't have and see what's treatable and what's not.
• 33:40
  Cause there are certain things, if you have a vaginal delivery that you can then transfer to your baby.
• 33:45
  And you might opt for another form of delivery.
• 33:48
  If that's the case, if you can't treat it before the baby's born.
• 33:53
  Honestly, guys, I elected for a C section, and I would do that a million times over.
• 33:57
  But you didn't elect.
• 33:58
  Your baby was breached.
• 34:00
  But before I knew she was breech, I was there campaigning for a C section.
• 34:06
  And all my doctors are like, oh, you know, just give it a try.
• 34:10
  I'm like, no, thanks.
• 34:11
  Will they now allow you to have.
• 34:13
  A.
• 34:13
  I don't know why they would.
• 34:14
  I have the scar.
• 34:15
  Listen, the door exists.
• 34:17
  Just open it, get right in.
• 34:19
  Both mine were C sectioned.
• 34:21
  Yeah.
• 34:22
  Was Sam's easier?
• 34:23
  Oh, yes, much easier.
• 34:25
  Because you knew it was coming.
• 34:26
  I knew it was coming.
• 34:27
  We planned for it.
• 34:28
  Yours was an emergency.
• 34:29
  Yeah.
• 34:29
  Surprised?
• 34:30
  Yeah, yours was.
• 34:32
  I.
• 34:32
  I don't know.
• 34:33
  Yours was very painful.
• 34:35
  His was better.
• 34:36
  Okay, so boy or girl?
• 34:38
  You obviously can learn the baby's sex if you do prenatal testing, cvs, amniocentesis, ultrasound.
• 34:46
  There's no evidence that the fetal heart rate or how you're carrying the baby predicts gender.
• 34:52
  Those are.
• 34:53
  You know, people will say, oh, I can tell by you're carrying high.
• 34:56
  Yeah, it's A boy.
• 34:57
  Exactly.
• 34:58
  No, no.
• 34:59
  She says no.
• 34:59
  These are wise tales.
• 35:01
  You cannot impact gender by changing the timing of sex before conception.
• 35:06
  What a crazy thing to believe.
• 35:08
  No, they used to believe it when I was.
• 35:11
  You know, because people were trying to control.
• 35:12
  Back when they.
• 35:13
  I was going to say back when they believed in witches.
• 35:15
  No, in my day.
• 35:16
  In my day, I would read about this.
• 35:18
  Oh, yeah.
• 35:19
  Should do it this way.
• 35:20
  And you might have a boy.
• 35:21
  It's like, really, I was just trying to get a child at the time.
• 35:25
  Any child.
• 35:25
  I didn't get whatever.
• 35:28
  Exercise or rest during pregnancy.
• 35:32
  I see some girls doing CrossFit.
• 35:33
  I'm just saying.
• 35:34
  Oh, yeah.
• 35:35
  I mean, the crazy people.
• 35:36
  But.
• 35:37
  Well, she says exercise really does not impact that much.
• 35:41
  There's no reason to stop it or start it other than it's good for you.
• 35:45
  You know, avoid exercise, like playing football, where there's trauma involved.
• 35:50
  Okay.
• 35:51
  You think that would go without saying?
• 35:53
  Yeah.
• 35:53
  Sometimes women are advised not to let their heartbeat go above 140 during exerc, but she says there's absolutely no data supporting that.
• 36:01
  Elite athletes, talk to your doctor.
• 36:03
  Like me.
• 36:04
  Yeah, no, I'm an elite athlete.
• 36:07
  Doing Kegels does help pregnant women avoid urinary leakage later.
• 36:13
  But let me just tell you, you're going to pee yourself every time you.
• 36:16
  Cough, laugh, or sneeze for months after having a baby.
• 36:20
  And while you're pregnant and later, when you get old, like me happens.
• 36:26
  Okay.
• 36:27
  Something to look forward to.
• 36:28
  But I, you know, I should be doing my Kegels.
• 36:30
  I haven't been.
• 36:32
  Oh, well,.
• 36:35
  A big thing that I remember from testing moms is definitely my tutor, Maddie.
• 36:40
  She was a lot more patient and made tutoring a lot more fun than learning about things with my mom.
• 36:46
  I remember that there were a lot of games, and it made me look forward to going to tutoring every week.
• 36:53
  There's some evidence that prenatal yoga leads to less pain and shorter labors.
• 36:59
  Oh, love it.
• 37:00
  One small study.
• 37:01
  So she says you could maybe try, maybe not.
• 37:03
  You know, if you have trouble sleeping during pregnancy.
• 37:07
  She says unisom is safe to take if you need help with sleep.
• 37:11
  But she.
• 37:11
  Advil is not under any circumstances.
• 37:14
  Yeah, you're not supposed to take Advil.
• 37:15
  Okay.
• 37:16
  And if you hear that sleeping on your back is bad for you when you're pregnant.
• 37:19
  Pregnant.
• 37:19
  She says the studies do not support that.
• 37:21
  That's crazy, because I bought that.
• 37:23
  I believed it.
• 37:24
  Yeah.
• 37:24
  Oh, well, my doctor basically just said, you know, after a certain point, it can just put pressure on something for the placenta.
• 37:33
  And I was like, which I risk you.
• 37:35
  Well, I don't.
• 37:36
  Listen, girl, I.
• 37:37
  Well, it's up to you.
• 37:38
  It's up to you.
• 37:39
  Yeah.
• 37:39
  Again, a lot of.
• 37:40
  Just take, take all of this and just say, okay, this is what will make my pregnancy easier.
• 37:45
  And this is just something I'm gonna buy into too.
• 37:48
  You decide.
• 37:49
  It's like, this is what this.
• 37:50
  You have your own and you can read all about the study in the book.
• 37:54
  Then she gets into this whole thing, a whole lot of information.
• 37:57
  And this book is kind of scientific.
• 37:58
  Yeah.
• 37:59
  Because it's all about studies, but not.
• 38:01
  Like in a boy way.
• 38:02
  Yeah, it's.
• 38:03
  It's in a boy way.
• 38:05
  Yeah.
• 38:06
  Man, scientists are like annoying and condescending with their charts.
• 38:10
  Girl scientists, like, she's just explaining, it's accessible.
• 38:13
  It's very accessible.
• 38:14
  Okay.
• 38:15
  She does make it accessible.
• 38:16
  She says, okay, drugs are divided into different categories.
• 38:19
  To me, this is a great explanation.
• 38:21
  A, B, C, D and X categories ABC have strong evidence they don't harm babies.
• 38:29
  Category D and X should not be used if you're pregnant.
• 38:32
  For category C, there's no risk that has been shown, but there's no large scale human data, so avoid taking them just to be safe.
• 38:40
  Say, or talk to your doctor if you need to for.
• 38:44
  So I thought that's.
• 38:45
  That makes it pretty.
• 38:46
  Keep it simple.
• 38:47
  Keep it simple.
• 38:49
  Okay.
• 38:49
  Check the chart.
• 38:50
  Third trimester, preterm birth, fetal size and bed rest.
• 38:57
  She talks about premature birth is when it happens between 22 and 26 weeks.
• 39:04
  One thing I learned from Reddit and not from this book is if for some reason you are after 16 weeks, but before 22 weeks and you went leg up and you are bleeding, according to Reddit, what you do
• 39:15
  when you go to the doctor or to the hospital, the ER, tell them you are 23 weeks, they will send you to L and D, they'll send you to labor and delivery, they won't send you to the standard
• 39:27
  emergency room, and you will get more specialized care if you make that distinction.
• 39:33
  And eventually, listen, you'll meet the doctor, obviously, they'll do an ultrasound and they'll be like, you know, you're not this far along.
• 39:40
  You.
• 39:40
  Oh, my God, that's crazy.
• 39:42
  Okay, wow, whatever.
• 39:43
  But just, I.
• 39:44
  Again, dissolve on Reddit, but I've seen situations that could go either way, that went a better way because they got more specialized care.
• 39:53
  Okay, that's good Reddit advice.
• 39:55
  Good Reddit advice is why we love Reddit.
• 39:57
  You know why we love Reddit.
• 39:58
  I was so scared Because I again, every time I went to the doctor, like, you are still at risk.
• 40:02
  You're still at risk.
• 40:02
  And I read that and I was like, okay, yeah, if something happens, I know what to say, exactly who to ask for.
• 40:08
  The Reddit moms are, are just good.
• 40:11
  Yeah, they're very helpful.
• 40:12
  Okay.
• 40:13
  Synonymous moms.
• 40:15
  One good thing to know is that, you know, they've just made really so many advances in survival due to improvements in assisted ventilation.
• 40:23
  Lungs are one of the last organs to develop.
• 40:26
  Babies born as late as 36 weeks can need mechanical breathing machines to help them if a child is very immature or premature, not immature.
• 40:37
  If a child is very premature.
• 40:39
  A key determinant of survival is just the quality of care and the type of intervention that's available to that.
• 40:46
  So there you go.
• 40:48
  They're going to do in something called in utero fetal measurements, at around 24 weeks, they're going to measure you from the top of the pubic area to the top of uterus, and that's called a fundal height measurement.
• 41:03
  The height should be the same as your weeks of pregnancy.
• 41:06
  So at 24 weeks it should be 24 inches.
• 41:09
  If it's too small, it's predictive of the baby being born small for their gestational age.
• 41:15
  At birth, eight out of 10 people get a concerning result on the screen, but they go on to have a normal sized baby.
• 41:22
  And the doctor's going to call for an ultrasound if the baby seems small.
• 41:26
  So about 30% of the ultrasound measurements have errors of more than 10% in either direction.
• 41:32
  If they ask you to make a important decision based on bundle height measurement, like let's do a C section or in dubbed labor.
• 41:39
  Now, because of this, she says ask for a second ultrasound measurement if it's.
• 41:44
  Not an emergency situation.
• 41:46
  Right, Right.
• 41:46
  If it's an emergency.
• 41:47
  Just trust the professionals, guys.
• 41:49
  Okay?
• 41:49
  Okay.
• 41:50
  That's always.
• 41:50
  That's my personal advice.
• 41:52
  I'll let you talk about bed rest since you were kind.
• 41:54
  Yep.
• 41:55
  Mono.
• 41:56
  You know, modified bed rest is.
• 41:58
  It's been proven that if you sit in bed all day when you're pregnant, you're at much higher risk for blood clots.
• 42:03
  Don't do that.
• 42:04
  Um, the only situation I've seen that specific recommendation is for if you are having twins, triplets, just multiples, and you are nearing term, but it's like getting precarious and they just want you to be able to keep the
• 42:19
  weight onto it for as long as you possibly can.
• 42:21
  Our twins are often born prematurely.
• 42:24
  Yeah, um, multiples are.
• 42:26
  Multiples are and just they say, you know, the advice for me was again, again modified.
• 42:33
  Right.
• 42:33
  So don't do anything crazy.
• 42:35
  Don't, don't run a marathon, don't move boxes yourself, don't lift your dog.
• 42:42
  But I was still able to like walk like half a mile at a time.
• 42:46
  I could still do some physical activity.
• 42:48
  But she says that there's really no compelling evidence that bed rest works.
• 42:54
  The American College of Gynecologists and Obstetricians recommend against it.
• 42:58
  There are medical reasons not to do it.
• 43:00
  Bone muscle atrophy, atrophy, atrophy, weight loss and possibly low infant birth weight plus the risk of blood clot.
• 43:09
  So that is not something that people typically recommend anymore.
• 43:13
  I imagine again, in unusual cases they can high risk pregnancy, which I'm very familiar with.
• 43:21
  The third trimester is when many problems in a pregnancy can start to emerge.
• 43:26
  These are things like placenta previa, placental abruption, gestational diabetes.
• 43:31
  You're going to have to take a disgusting test around this time.
• 43:35
  I remember that test.
• 43:36
  They're gonna, they make you drink.
• 43:39
  It's.
• 43:39
  It looks like Gatorade.
• 43:41
  It's, it tastes like what I imagine they feed flies in a lab.
• 43:46
  Just pure sugar water.
• 43:48
  I failed I gestational diabetes test at so the first test you go, you're in, you're at half an hour.
• 43:55
  If you fail it, you're there all day.
• 43:57
  You have to drink five times as much of a cigarette stuff.
• 44:00
  It's an absolute nightmare.
• 44:02
  You're going to hate it, but you're also going to get through it.
• 44:04
  Uhhuh.
• 44:08
  Well, if there's complications there.
• 44:10
  She has written a follow up book called the Unexpected so I didn't even know that either.
• 44:16
  So if you do have complications, her book is probably one you want to read.
• 44:21
  Yeah.
• 44:21
  The Unexpected.
• 44:22
  The Unexpected.
• 44:23
  Yeah.
• 44:23
  I didn't even know answer.
• 44:25
  She probably looks at all the studies.
• 44:26
  Behind all that stuff.
• 44:28
  Okay, right.
• 44:28
  So don't read it unless you have those issues.
• 44:31
  But if you may have them.
• 44:33
  Yeah.
• 44:34
  Because one thing about being pregnant is you're incredibly susceptible to anxiety.
• 44:37
  Yeah.
• 44:38
  Don't read it.
• 44:38
  I don't know what happens.
• 44:40
  It's like a hole in our brain opens up and anything remotely scary just fills the hole.
• 44:44
  You don't want to get all, you know, I'm sell exercise, don't get exercised.
• 44:51
  Right.
• 44:51
  My favorite word.
• 44:52
  Yes.
• 44:54
  When will you deliver?
• 44:55
  Most babies arrive within a week on either side of your due date.
• 44:59
  So week 39 or 40 if they're scheduling a C section, it will be sometime after week 39 or 38.
• 45:06
  Because they don't.
• 45:07
  If you are anticipating needing a C section, they don't want you to go into labor before.
• 45:13
  And this chapter explains, like cervical effacement, Bishop score, which are predictors of when you will deliver.
• 45:19
  So how dilated are you at any given time point, et cetera?
• 45:23
  It's more than dilation.
• 45:24
  It looks at everything.
• 45:25
  Yeah, but it.
• 45:26
  Yeah, but that's one element.
• 45:28
  The cervix stays closed until the time leading up to labor, when it will open up to 10cm.
• 45:35
  It also softens, shortens, and thin so that the baby can move down in your pelvis.
• 45:41
  I'm so glad I did not do this.
• 45:43
  Cervical length is a better predictor of labor onset than dilation.
• 45:49
  So do with that information what you will.
• 45:51
  Get your cervix measured.
• 45:53
  Your doctor may give you something called a Bishop score.
• 45:56
  This is a number between 0 and 13 that takes into account the cervix position, how effaced you are, how dilated you are, and the position of the baby so high.
• 46:06
  Bishop score, 6 or above means you're far along and indicates an increased chance of having a vaginal birth.
• 46:12
  Labor induction.
• 46:14
  Care to take it away?
• 46:15
  All right.
• 46:16
  Two ways to induce labor.
• 46:19
  Oh, I could talk about this because I had labor induction, too, that failed.
• 46:23
  It failed because by the end, you were having an emergency and.
• 46:28
  Please take me out.
• 46:29
  Take mom.
• 46:29
  I got anxiety.
• 46:31
  But anyway, we started with Tosin, which is a synthetic version of oxytocin, which starts contracting.
• 46:40
  Or they can also give you a drug like misoprostol and plus an apparatus called a balloon catheter.
• 46:49
  It's not fatal.
• 46:50
  I know.
• 46:50
  The drug softens the cervix, and then the balloon stretches it out.
• 46:55
  So they.
• 46:55
  They may combine this with pitocin.
• 46:58
  So you might get everything electively.
• 47:01
  Inducing labor has become much more common than ever these days.
• 47:05
  People want to get the show on the road.
• 47:07
  Well, they do.
• 47:08
  And they say that if you get induced at 39, there's.
• 47:12
  There's a lower C section rate that one of the studies showed that.
• 47:15
  That women were.
• 47:16
  That because of that, it's bringing down.
• 47:19
  Let me allay your fears about a C section, guys.
• 47:21
  If you would like to do it, it is truly not that bad.
• 47:24
  It is like a day at the dentist.
• 47:26
  I thought, well, my first C section was bad.
• 47:30
  Yeah, because of anti emergency.
• 47:31
  Not a choice.
• 47:32
  Right, right.
• 47:33
  But my second one that was planned was much better.
• 47:37
  Yeah.
• 47:37
  Yes, definitely.
• 47:39
  So, yeah, I mean, I.
• 47:41
  I know they want to avoid the surgery at all Costs.
• 47:44
  Yeah.
• 47:44
  Doctors want to avoid it too because again, there are more risks.
• 47:47
  You know, there's higher risks of bleeding, higher risks of all sorts of things.
• 47:52
  Right.
• 47:53
  But that said, you know, for me what mattered was not having a traumatic birth experience if I could avoid it.
• 48:01
  And what can sometimes happen when you go in for having to have a vaginal delivery is it doesn't go as bad plans.
• 48:08
  Right.
• 48:08
  And it gets chaotic and sometimes you end up having a C section regardless.
• 48:11
  And it's scary and it's rushed and you don't know if you have the right amount of drugs in your system.
• 48:15
  You don't know how much you're going to feel or experience.
• 48:18
  And if you go and have a fearful experience, it might put you off from ever doing it again in the right.
• 48:24
  And that's what happened to me.
• 48:25
  Although I did go ahead and have another one.
• 48:27
  But.
• 48:27
  Yes, but inductions become non elective if your pregnancy goes 41 to 42 weeks.
• 48:34
  They're going to do it anyway.
• 48:35
  Yeah.
• 48:35
  Because at that point the placenta stops.
• 48:36
  Stops working.
• 48:37
  Well, the baby's getting really big.
• 48:39
  Yeah.
• 48:40
  So if your water breaks and you don't start labor on your own, they're going to induce.
• 48:44
  If you have any complications like preeclampsa.
• 48:47
  So scary.
• 48:48
  Or yeah.
• 48:48
  Low amniotic fluid, they may also induce.
• 48:52
  Your doctor should be monitoring your amniotic fluid through ultrasound.
• 48:56
  And if it starts to get low, drink water before the ultrasound as that dramatically increases the fluid level.
• 49:04
  When you're pregnant, you are going to be thirstier than you have ever been in life.
• 49:07
  So you drink a lot of water because you're.
• 49:09
  Nothing will quench it.
• 49:10
  You will always feel thirsty, but drink a lot of water.
• 49:12
  Yeah.
• 49:12
  Well, it sounds like you want.
• 49:14
  I wouldn't do it just for this test.
• 49:15
  I would do it to keep.
• 49:16
  Do it all the time.
• 49:17
  Do it all the time.
• 49:17
  You need a lot of fluid.
• 49:18
  Yeah.
• 49:19
  And then they give you a non stress test and they put you on a monitor for like 20 minutes to make sure the baby's moving.
• 49:26
  And okay.
• 49:26
  If the baby's asleep, sleep.
• 49:29
  The non stress test doesn't work.
• 49:31
  The baby likes to sleep during the day and be awake at night, FYI.
• 49:34
  Okay.
• 49:35
  And they said give that.
• 49:36
  Some doctors will try to give you sugar if the baby isn't moving, but the author says evidence says that doesn't work.
• 49:43
  And if you just clap three or five times above your abdomen, that will wake up the baby.
• 49:48
  And if the baby doesn't respond to attempts to wake them, it's time to take action.
• 49:53
  Which is usually an emergency.
• 49:55
  C section.
• 49:55
  Yes.
• 49:56
  Which is what?
• 49:56
  What you had.
• 49:57
  Yeah.
• 49:57
  Or I had.
• 49:58
  For you.
• 49:58
  You had to deliver me.
• 50:00
  That's right.
• 50:02
  The Internet and folklore have many suggestions for encouraging labor.
• 50:07
  Certain teas or oils, castor oil.
• 50:09
  I remember.
• 50:10
  Have sex, eat Mexican food.
• 50:13
  They're all like nut.
• 50:14
  It's all duds at starting labor.
• 50:16
  Yeah.
• 50:17
  Except nipple stimulation does help.
• 50:20
  And doctors can do something called membrane stripping.
• 50:23
  They put their fingers through the cervix.
• 50:25
  Sounds so.
• 50:26
  That sounds very painful.
• 50:28
  But they put their fingers through the cervix and detach the membrane holding the baby from the wall of the uterus.
• 50:33
  And that will get Skyler.
• 50:36
  That will get the labor started.
• 50:37
  That sounds so horrible.
• 50:39
  No, thanks.
• 50:40
  Okay.
• 50:41
  And then they get into C sections.
• 50:42
  And.
• 50:42
  And it says 30% of births in the United States are by C section.
• 50:47
  10% are elected.
• 50:48
  I'm not like other girls.
• 50:49
  Very rare.
• 50:51
  Right.
• 50:52
  Born by C section, given birth by C section.
• 50:55
  So far, C section delivery recovery is slower than recovery from a vaginal birth.
• 51:01
  With vaginal births, the rate of urinary incontinence and the risk of pelvic organ prolapse.
• 51:08
  I don't know what that is, but it does not sound good.
• 51:10
  It's not.
• 51:11
  It sounds awful.
• 51:12
  Don't Google it.
• 51:13
  Don't.
• 51:13
  That sounds bad.
• 51:14
  Okay.
• 51:15
  With C section births, there's a small increase in asthma and obesity in the children.
• 51:21
  Also with C section, the risk of.
• 51:23
  Of placental complications in later pregnancies is increased.
• 51:27
  And all of these are rare complications.
• 51:29
  Yeah.
• 51:30
  They also.
• 51:31
  If your baby is in the wrong position and you are nearing the weeks of delivery, they will offer to turn the baby manually.
• 51:40
  Two things about this.
• 51:41
  One, you will need to get an epidural, probably.
• 51:43
  And if you're not trying to have any unnecessary epidurals, this is not for you.
• 51:49
  The other thing about it is that the baby can turn back around and it will all be for naught.
• 51:54
  Oh, you.
• 51:55
  So something else to consider.
• 51:56
  Yeah.
• 51:57
  And that was your situation.
• 51:58
  They offered and I was like, no, thanks.
• 52:01
  Let's just go for the schedule.
• 52:02
  My C section.
• 52:03
  That's right.
• 52:03
  I'll see you in two weeks.
• 52:04
  Right.
• 52:05
  So with an epidural, your lower half is numbed.
• 52:08
  It's a.
• 52:09
  It's a.
• 52:09
  They got a needle in your back.
• 52:11
  And you feel like you have sandbags on your legs.
• 52:14
  Yeah, that's what I felt.
• 52:16
  Uh huh.
• 52:16
  Yeah.
• 52:17
  You may not feel the contractions at all.
• 52:19
  And the pain of pushing, itching is lowered.
• 52:21
  And they do it for a C section and they do it for a vaginal.
• 52:24
  They gave me a spinal tap.
• 52:26
  A spinal tap?
• 52:27
  Is that the same as an epidural?
• 52:29
  I don't know, but I will tell you.
• 52:30
  I didn't feel a thing.
• 52:32
  Oh.
• 52:32
  I didn't feel them pulling.
• 52:34
  I didn't.
• 52:34
  That's amazing.
• 52:35
  Anything?
• 52:35
  I felt a lot.
• 52:37
  I was on Jupiter.
• 52:38
  Really?
• 52:39
  Yeah.
• 52:39
  I was like, whoa.
• 52:41
  But you weren't.
• 52:42
  You.
• 52:42
  It was not like.
• 52:43
  Not like taking drugs that you were, like, you know, spaced out.
• 52:47
  You.
• 52:47
  It was just.
• 52:47
  No, I mean, I knew what was happening.
• 52:49
  I was definitely conscious.
• 52:50
  I was barfy, but I was conscious.
• 52:52
  Barfy.
• 52:53
  Yeah, I was barfy.
• 52:54
  Oh, so you're.
• 52:55
  You felt a little sick at your stomach?
• 52:57
  Yeah.
• 52:57
  There was a man in the room who was specifically there to address my barfiness.
• 53:01
  Oh, good.
• 53:01
  I know.
• 53:02
  That's nice.
• 53:02
  He's like, how do you feel?
• 53:03
  I'm like, up it.
• 53:05
  So they were giving you stuff for that?
• 53:07
  Yeah.
• 53:07
  All right.
• 53:08
  It was crazy.
• 53:09
  And then they pulled her out, and they, like, held her over the curtain like the Lion King.
• 53:13
  And I was like, oh, hey, great.
• 53:15
  Do you want to hold her?
• 53:16
  I'm like, not now.
• 53:19
  I know.
• 53:19
  When they were doing me, I remember dad kept going to the other side of the curtain because he wanted to be with the doctors and watch it from that angle.
• 53:29
  Psychotic.
• 53:30
  I kept saying, get back here.
• 53:31
  Get back here.
• 53:33
  Don't leave me alone.
• 53:35
  And you don't need to see this.
• 53:37
  I know.
• 53:37
  And he and the doctors kept talking about investment strategy, and I kept saying, stop talking about that.
• 53:44
  Talk about me.
• 53:47
  You're, like, filleted on the table like a.
• 53:48
  Like a Dorado.
• 53:50
  I was section.
• 53:52
  And they're talking investments.
• 53:54
  It's like.
• 53:55
  Because at the time.
• 53:57
  Yeah, I mean, it was.
• 53:58
  I can't.
• 53:58
  Anyway, Mark was in that business, and they all had questions, so.
• 54:02
  But of course, this was a good time.
• 54:04
  We're all here, aren't we?
• 54:05
  That's right.
• 54:06
  This isn't a conference call.
• 54:07
  Okay.
• 54:09
  Okay.
• 54:10
  So they do give the epidural at the beginning of labor, and there's just no negative effects for the baby.
• 54:17
  Yeah, that's a big misconception that I think actually deters a lot of people from getting epidurals is that they say that there is a risk, I guess, because it goes to your bloodstream.
• 54:26
  That it.
• 54:27
  I don't know.
• 54:27
  But apparently it's not.
• 54:29
  It's not.
• 54:30
  Don't let anybody convince you that you shouldn't have an epidural if you want one.
• 54:35
  Okay.
• 54:36
  So there is a small, small risk that an epidural would.
• 54:39
  Will make recovery a little harder for the mother.
• 54:42
  It's possible mother may run a fever from the epidural, which would be treated with antibiotics and that means the baby would get antibiotics.
• 54:50
  They will also pump you with fluid, so you're going to be puffy for a while.
• 54:55
  Yes, I remember that.
• 54:56
  And there's an increase in forcep usage or vacuum extractor with epidurals.
• 55:03
  It also may lengthen labor a bit.
• 55:07
  Well, I guess because you just can't really feel anything.
• 55:09
  Right, right.
• 55:10
  And there's an increased chance of needing pitocin and a C section if you have an epidural.
• 55:16
  But there's no increase or evidence that nursing is impacted by the epidural.
• 55:23
  Yeah, they say that C sections can impact nursing.
• 55:26
  Just that, like it will take your milk longer to come in.
• 55:30
  I didn't have that experience, but they say that can happen.
• 55:33
  Okay.
• 55:34
  Okay.
• 55:34
  Well, the author said she did not use an epidural.
• 55:38
  She was up and walking 45 minutes after giving birth.
• 55:42
  She said alternatives to epidurals are natural childbirth, Lamaze, the Bradley method, hypnotherapy or something.
• 55:52
  Couldn't be me.
• 55:53
  Some do.
• 55:53
  I didn't know this.
• 55:54
  Some girls use nitrous laughing gas, which would take the edge off and they say it's safe for babies.
• 56:02
  That's crazy.
• 56:03
  I didn't think it would be that.
• 56:05
  Okay.
• 56:06
  Okay.
• 56:07
  Now, she recommends having a bullet pointed birth plan that you discuss with your doctor ahead of delivery.
• 56:15
  She says you should still be flexible because unexpected things happen.
• 56:19
  But it's good to think and write down in advance what you want and don't want so you don't have to make decisions ahead of in the heat of deletion.
• 56:27
  Yeah, but I think it is weird to walk into your doctor's Office with a PowerPoint bullet points and to say, here's my delivery plan and the doctor, you know, it's your first baby you've never had.
• 56:39
  I'm sorry, when did you go to medical school?
• 56:41
  No, I just think my doctor would laugh at me if I tried to do that.
• 56:45
  But I think people have a lot of ideas around how they want to give birth.
• 56:50
  And people, I mean, even throughout the pregnancy, people are obsessed with like the delivery, the delivery, the delivery.
• 56:56
  It has to be perfect.
• 56:57
  And the thing about it is, like, the delivery is like, you know, sometimes 20 minutes in my case.
• 57:03
  Sometimes it can be like a day or two.
• 57:04
  What nobody really thinks about is the weeks after.
• 57:08
  Yeah, that is way more important to consider than your birth plan.
• 57:12
  Like I want.
• 57:12
  I want, you know, this Madonna song to be playing as the baby emerges.
• 57:18
  Oh, I want this lighting scheme.
• 57:20
  I want this ambiance.
• 57:22
  Oh, my gosh.
• 57:22
  And it's like, I never thought of that.
• 57:24
  People do it.
• 57:24
  People do it all the time.
• 57:26
  I want to give birth in a body of water.
• 57:28
  And it's like, I know people do that.
• 57:30
  People love that.
• 57:31
  Yeah.
• 57:31
  But again, you know, it.
• 57:34
  Don't think so hard about this.
• 57:36
  Yeah.
• 57:36
  You know, and be flexible is the best advice.
• 57:38
  Well, that, that is what she says.
• 57:40
  You never know what's going to happen.
• 57:41
  It never.
• 57:42
  Yeah.
• 57:42
  It never happens the way you think.
• 57:44
  But she did say that.
• 57:45
  That eating and drinking during labor should probably be allowed.
• 57:49
  There's no reason not to.
• 57:50
  But many hospitals won't let you have any solid food.
• 57:54
  And I remember I couldn't.
• 57:55
  I think that's because in case you get a C section.
• 57:58
  Right.
• 57:58
  They don't want you to have.
• 57:59
  I was told.
• 58:02
  And then having a doula decreases the chance of a C section and an.
• 58:07
  And an epidural if you don't want one.
• 58:08
  I think having an advocate, I think.
• 58:10
  That's a great idea in general, whether.
• 58:12
  It's a doula or a pushy husband or a pushy mother in law or mother.
• 58:16
  Like, you just need somebody who's gonna.
• 58:18
  Who knows what you want and who can advocate for you in the moment.
• 58:22
  Yeah.
• 58:22
  She says try to avoid an episiotomy.
• 58:25
  But I don't know how you can avoid it.
• 58:26
  Yeah.
• 58:26
  I don't think anyone asks.
• 58:28
  They don't say, oh, would you like,.
• 58:29
  Do you want us to, like, snip?
• 58:31
  It's like, no, nobody wants one.
• 58:33
  She says Pitocin is used after birth, which she recommends to prevent postpartum hemorrhage.
• 58:40
  She said after the baby is born, you're gonna hold him and then they'll take him to the baby, him, her, whatever, to another part of the room for weights, measures and footprints.
• 58:51
  For premature infants born before 37 weeks, they say this is important.
• 58:56
  Delayed court clamping is a good idea.
• 58:59
  It's good for any baby.
• 59:00
  And it turns out it's good for all babies because it just halves the need for blood transfusion for anemia or low blood pressure.
• 59:11
  For all babies, it's a good thing.
• 59:13
  And it's standard to give babies these vitamin K supplements within the first hours of giving birth as it avoids bleeding disorders.
• 59:21
  And they may give your baby eye drops to prevent eye infections.
• 59:25
  Yeah.
• 59:25
  Which accept these things.
• 59:27
  I see all sorts of people on the Internet being like, they gave My baby, this without my consent.
• 59:32
  And I understand that that feeling of, like, anybody giving your child anything without your consent is frustrating and infuriating.
• 59:39
  But there are reasons for this.
• 59:41
  And.
• 59:41
  And yes, you know, it is a chance that your child might develop an eye infection.
• 59:46
  It is a chance that they might develop a bleeding disorder.
• 59:49
  But if you can eliminate that, why not?
• 59:52
  Yeah, get rid of it.
• 59:53
  Let it.
• 59:53
  Let them do it.
• 59:54
  They've done millions of births, and this is what they do.
• 59:58
  Standard operation.
• 1:00:01
  Now, this was interesting.
• 1:00:03
  Some people want to store their baby's cord blood.
• 1:00:06
  This costs a few thousand dollars because it's something that can be used as an alternative to a bone marrow transplant for something.
• 1:00:15
  For leukemia stem cells.
• 1:00:16
  But a couple caveats.
• 1:00:18
  Not for your child personally, for a sibling or another blood relative.
• 1:00:23
  And another caveat to that is that it has to be a match.
• 1:00:26
  So there's not a guarantee that it will be an exact match.
• 1:00:30
  Right.
• 1:00:30
  He says it's a very small chance it'll ever be used, but she says future technology uses are possible, but very hard to predict.
• 1:00:38
  And she said you can consider public cord blood donation that's free, and it's very helpful, especially if you're a member of an ethnic or racial minority.
• 1:00:48
  So I think if.
• 1:00:49
  Why not do that?
• 1:00:50
  That would be if it.
• 1:00:51
  Do the free one.
• 1:00:52
  Do the free one for sure.
• 1:00:55
  And she says with home births, there are pros that, you know, because you're going to have no use of medication.
• 1:01:01
  Fewer C sections.
• 1:01:02
  Sections.
• 1:01:03
  Less instrument delivery, easier recovery, less tearing.
• 1:01:07
  But there's a 30% chance you'll end up in the hospital anyway because of complications.
• 1:01:12
  And studies are mixed about whether mortality rates are higher with home births.
• 1:01:17
  But be sure you've got an experienced certified nurse midwife with you if you do this.
• 1:01:22
  Totally.
• 1:01:23
  And this kind of covers the.
• 1:01:25
  Some of the conclusions she came to.
• 1:01:27
  But I will say, say that, you know, if.
• 1:01:30
  If it were me and, you know, I'm pregnant, I want to read the studies or about the studies.
• 1:01:36
  So this is a book that is worth picking up because it's got all the backup information to many of the conclusions that we gave you.
• 1:01:43
  Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:01:45
  So I loved this book.
• 1:01:46
  I loved it.
• 1:01:47
  It really put my mind at ease during a time where, like, there's just so much to be stressed out about, where you're like, if anybody can give me some information, that makes me feel like, oh, okay, you know,
• 1:01:59
  because think about pregnancy.
• 1:02:00
  Yes, women do it every day, but that doesn't mean it is not a miracle.
• 1:02:04
  It doesn't mean it is not an insane experience every single time.
• 1:02:09
  Right.
• 1:02:09
  You know, and I just.
• 1:02:10
  I love her perspective on everything.
• 1:02:13
  She's such a calming voice.
• 1:02:16
  She's so reasonable.
• 1:02:17
  She's so reasonable.
• 1:02:18
  Right, Right.
• 1:02:19
  So that's.
• 1:02:20
  That's why she's nice to read.
• 1:02:22
  Yeah, for sure.
• 1:02:23
  No, it's a really good book, and I understand why you liked it so much.
• 1:02:28
  Loved it.
• 1:02:28
  Yeah.
• 1:02:29
  Loved it.
• 1:02:29
  I suggest it to everyone.
• 1:02:31
  Thank you guys so much for joining us for this episode of Other People's Parenting, and we'll see you next week.