Latest / The Breakfast Club / INTERVIEW: Jess & Rome Talk 'Til Death Do We Parent,' Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons +More

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INTERVIEW: Jess & Rome Talk 'Til Death Do We Parent,' Co-Parenting, Life’s Struggles & Lessons +More · The Breakfast Club

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Don't every day click yours up the breakfast club.
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: You don't finish for y'all done.
• 0:08
  Speaker 3: More thing. Everybody's j n V. Just hilarious, charlamage the guy.
• 0:13
  Speaker 3: We are the breakfast club. We got a special guest
• 0:15
  Speaker 3: in the building.
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: And first of all, make sure the door is locked.
• 0:17
  Speaker 4: And I'm glad that her phone is in here because
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: she can't use her phone to get in the room.
• 0:21
  Speaker 1: So make sure the door is locked. Correct, just hilarious,
• 0:23
  Speaker 1: can't get in.
• 0:24
  Speaker 4: We got our guy Rome room here, who is Justice
• 0:27
  Speaker 4: Baby's father's dad.
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: And you know, just put out her new book this week,
• 0:33
  Speaker 1: Tell Death Do We Parent?
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: It's available everywhere you buy books now, and it talks
• 0:36
  Speaker 4: about how they got to a healthy place of co
• 0:39
  Speaker 4: parenting with each other.
• 0:42
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 0:42
  Speaker 4: And I haven't even talked the wrong. I ain't reach
• 0:43
  Speaker 4: out to room. I wanted to talk to the wrong
• 0:45
  Speaker 4: face to face wrong.
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: What did you think of the book?
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: Was your first feeling?
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: First? Honest? Honest? First, Fiel, you read the book first chapter.
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I feel like some things wasn't explained the correct way.
• 1:01
  Speaker 4: We're not supposed to let her in, let her in,
• 1:05
  Speaker 4: You're supposed to keep her out for a little bit.
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: Okay, let Rome has the floor.
• 1:11
  Speaker 3: You can sit down, Jess, unless you leave.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: You can also leave. Okay, yes, we just asked the
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: first question.
• 1:20
  Speaker 3: All right, it's too late.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: You got nothing.
• 1:22
  Speaker 3: It's too late.
• 1:23
  Speaker 4: Now you think the book to death we paying you
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: said first chapter you were saying it was cap.
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: Honestly, not even cap. I just think after women read it,
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: they're gonna hate me, and why because of course, you know,
• 1:40
  Speaker 2: men can't go through that, but when women are going
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: through like postpartum, those stages and stuff like that, if
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: you read this the first chapter, it's going to be
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: like I was a dog, Like I did everything doing
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: those times when I.
• 1:51
  Speaker 3: Did it, so you you weren't a dog.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: No, I feel like she fabricated it. Far as putting
• 1:57
  Speaker 2: it too early, it was leap. It was later than that.
• 2:01
  Speaker 2: I didn't do any of that doing postpartum. But it
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: was a dope book, interesting, very transparent to see that
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: we've grown so much and to share other to share
• 2:13
  Speaker 2: with other people on you know that cop parents is
• 2:16
  Speaker 2: not a bad thing. I think that that's that's the
• 2:18
  Speaker 2: biggest part in the goal that we always talked about,
• 2:21
  Speaker 2: and that was for years, even when we started co
• 2:23
  Speaker 2: Parents and therapy. Back in it was COVID, so I
• 2:26
  Speaker 2: won't to say the twenty twenty one when it was
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: shut down. Man, the book is.
• 2:30
  Speaker 4: Yeah, See, that's what I got from the book. That's
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: why I said, I don't think people will hate you
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: if they read.
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: Past the first chapter.
• 2:36
  Speaker 4: You know what I mean, because you do get to
• 2:38
  Speaker 4: the growth and the evolutionary of both of y'all.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: You know what I mean, not just not just you,
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: both of y'all.
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: Yeah, And but you got some people who ain't gonna
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: read through the book. That's all right, Right, they're gonna
• 2:49
  Speaker 2: they're gonna pinpoint and take out parts, and they're gonna
• 2:51
  Speaker 2: run with a certain narratives, see the same way they
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: do clips on Instagram or TikTok, whatever the case may be.
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: They hate you off of a clip and didn't even
• 2:59
  Speaker 2: let you aborade or explain yourself.
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: Actually have to hurt your feelings the most, and don't
• 3:03
  Speaker 1: lie because I know you're ready. More than one time,
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: what chapter was it?
• 3:12
  Speaker 2: None ever really hurt me? Because none never really hurt
• 3:17
  Speaker 2: me because I'm I'm I own up to what I do.
• 3:20
  Speaker 2: I ain't never been ashamed of anything. And tell you why,
• 3:22
  Speaker 2: because I always had a choice. I decided to make
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: those choices. But what was hot woman to me was
• 3:31
  Speaker 2: that she's able to talk about it now because a
• 3:33
  Speaker 2: lot of times she would never open up about it,
• 3:35
  Speaker 2: and just to share that light on how much I've
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: grown as a man and as a father, I just was,
• 3:41
  Speaker 2: you know, a Paul I was? I was really, yeah,
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: I was. I was just excited, man, I really was excited.
• 3:47
  Speaker 5: You could tell she has a lot of love for
• 3:49
  Speaker 5: you regardless and a lot of always there.
• 3:51
  Speaker 2: I'm just excited because if anybody who really know me,
• 3:55
  Speaker 2: truly and genuly know me, that's my dog.
• 3:58
  Speaker 5: How did you feel when you know she she recently
• 4:01
  Speaker 5: exerts came out of the book and she talked about
• 4:04
  Speaker 5: not necessarily wanting your first child, but wanted to keep
• 4:08
  Speaker 5: you more than anything, so to make you happy, she
• 4:10
  Speaker 5: was willing to do anything for you.
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: How did that make you feel?
• 4:14
  Speaker 2: I felt in a moment, I don't know. I it
• 4:16
  Speaker 2: was no feeling. We was kids. Looking back reading it
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: as a father of five, now, I understand. And I
• 4:26
  Speaker 2: say that because even when I go back to her
• 4:28
  Speaker 2: and I'd be like, if you're gonna leave me alone,
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: don't go get another me. It's one of those things where, okay, well,
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: if you having a child, make sure that you know
• 4:36
  Speaker 2: that this is gonna be a family. And I never
• 4:39
  Speaker 2: wanted a lot of kids. I always wanted a family.
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: But you know, I was emotional, I would say, dumb,
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: not thinking vulnerable in those moments, even as a kid.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: But I think I don't know, I think it just
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: shaped out to be the wife that she is.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Now.
• 4:54
  Speaker 5: You look back at it and say I messed this
• 4:56
  Speaker 5: family up because she talks about she thought that y'all
• 4:59
  Speaker 5: had a perfect family. Y'all were taking pictures, and y'all
• 5:02
  Speaker 5: were doing things as a family and a couple.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: You know, all of a sudden she got a comment that.
• 5:06
  Speaker 5: Says, room but here with you. But he played a
• 5:09
  Speaker 5: house in this other house, and matter of fact, he
• 5:11
  Speaker 5: got a baby coming. Did you ever look back that
• 5:12
  Speaker 5: and be like, damn, I f that up.
• 5:17
  Speaker 2: I look back sometimes and say I wish i'd have
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: did things different. I ain't never gonna say I wish
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: I fucked it up, because who knows. If I wouldn't
• 5:28
  Speaker 2: have deal what I did, then we still would have
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: been together. Because it goes both ways, and a lot
• 5:33
  Speaker 2: of things that I've done. It was out of reactions.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: You know, it's three sides of every story, their side,
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: your side, and the truth. Me. I just wasn't that
• 5:44
  Speaker 2: heartless to just go out and do these things I
• 5:46
  Speaker 2: didn't even have access to. So that's why we're gonna dive.
• 5:49
  Speaker 2: We're gonna dive deeper into those things. But I wouldn't
• 5:52
  Speaker 2: say I fucked up. I would say I just wish
• 5:57
  Speaker 2: I'd did things different, just to give just to give
• 5:59
  Speaker 2: us a chance, because I never even gave us a chance.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: That's a great question and just a great framing of it.
• 6:05
  Speaker 4: Like if there were no kid involved, right, if there
• 6:09
  Speaker 4: was no action, would y'all still choose each other?
• 6:11
  Speaker 2: You think at that moment? No, because Ash was the glud.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Ash was the one that kept it around and me,
• 6:23
  Speaker 2: I'm low tolerance. And Jessica speaks on that, she'll speak
• 6:26
  Speaker 2: again on it. We spoke on that on the podcast.
• 6:29
  Speaker 2: When women don't do and it might sound controlling on
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: it might sound like I'm a narcissism, you know, at
• 6:33
  Speaker 2: that moment, not now, because I'm a change man. You know,
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: at that moment, it may sound like I'm being controlling.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: But I felt like at the time younger days. If
• 6:48
  Speaker 2: women wasn't in my if they want in compliance, it
• 6:52
  Speaker 2: want no benefit to me.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: So just just walk back in the room. I want
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: to want to expound on the question. I just asked you.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: What was it about just that would make you not
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: want to be with her? If there was no ask
• 7:02
  Speaker 4: because he said he wouldn't do what you do.
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: Wasn't as at that moment. At that like I said,
• 7:07
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna repeat it, at that moment, we were children,
• 7:09
  Speaker 2: so it wasn't really it wasn't really nothing to be
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: with our own, especially after all the things I did.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: And I say that to say that at that time.
• 7:19
  Speaker 2: Of course, you know a lot of men living with
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: women for conveniency and stuff like that. I didn't need
• 7:24
  Speaker 2: any of that. I'm living at home with stepmam. So
• 7:27
  Speaker 2: if it's no child, we'd have went out separate ways
• 7:30
  Speaker 2: because it was easy to go separate ways with no tie.
• 7:33
  Speaker 2: It's easy to go separate ways when you're not married, right,
• 7:37
  Speaker 2: marriage and children is the tie on. Okay, let's see,
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: because you don't really want to start over, like it's
• 7:45
  Speaker 2: hard starting over and not even hard, it's just too
• 7:46
  Speaker 2: much timing. You gotta reliine a person and then you
• 7:49
  Speaker 2: don't even know if that person gonna be the person
• 7:51
  Speaker 2: for you, So it takes time.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: Now, you said it was reactional, the fact that you
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: know you cheated. Was it reactionable because you didn't want
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: to be in a family at the time, or you
• 8:00
  Speaker 5: didn't want to.
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: Be tied down?
• 8:01
  Speaker 5: Or what's her?
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: This was?
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: You know what was reactional?
• 8:05
  Speaker 2: No? Just this ship?
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, now let's get to her.
• 8:10
  Speaker 2: Just just just just did things, and it's something. It's
• 8:13
  Speaker 2: some things I said I would never speak on. I'm
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: taking that to the grade with me because, yeah.
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: That's why you believe that it might not be yours
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: at one point.
• 8:22
  Speaker 2: No, I never I never believe that I've seen him.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: He was mind through the song ground at the moment.
• 8:28
  Speaker 2: At the moment, I never really even believed it. It
• 8:32
  Speaker 2: was more so I was upset because of the heat
• 8:34
  Speaker 2: of the moment.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: But you just said that, okay, okay, she said emotional. Yeah,
• 8:41
  Speaker 1: I told him that might not be his.
• 8:44
  Speaker 2: But she and she, she and I read that four
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: or five times again on the train to day that particular.
• 8:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, but then I fell asleep. But no, how did
• 8:56
  Speaker 1: you feelhen? She said that.
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: Of course she knows the man. You're in the moment.
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: Oh in mind you you shain't in my face, so
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: I think it'll win different And she was in my
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: face shit like that, But I did. I never thought
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Ashen wasn't mine. I just think she, of all people
• 9:12
  Speaker 2: at that moment, even now, know how to get under
• 9:15
  Speaker 2: my skin. There's only two things that really bothered me,
• 9:17
  Speaker 2: my children and my mom. It ain't really nothing else
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: you can really say to me that would really move me.
• 9:22
  Speaker 5: Why didn't you fight for the relationship after? You know,
• 9:25
  Speaker 5: jess was like it's over. You know, you had another
• 9:28
  Speaker 5: baby on the way. Why didn't you fight for That's
• 9:31
  Speaker 5: clear that up.
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: Okay, it was over before I had a baby on
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: the way, Jessica, that I know.
• 9:37
  Speaker 6: Ron. I just was trying to like be with you
• 9:41
  Speaker 6: and give my family like because that's what I wanted ultimately.
• 9:44
  Speaker 6: I wanted that family dynamic. I wanted to grow up.
• 9:47
  Speaker 6: I want to ask to grow up in the house
• 9:48
  Speaker 6: with me and you together, you know.
• 9:50
  Speaker 7: And yeah, it was over.
• 9:52
  Speaker 6: I had mentally checked out. You was like moved like
• 9:56
  Speaker 6: you had moved on and everything, but like you was
• 9:58
  Speaker 6: still so fish because I couldn't be with nobody. You
• 10:01
  Speaker 6: didn't want me, but I couldn't be with nobody else.
• 10:03
  Speaker 2: No, we cleaned it up because in the book it
• 10:06
  Speaker 2: makes it seem like I had a baby on you.
• 10:10
  Speaker 8: Well you were dealing with and it's three number.
• 10:13
  Speaker 2: Two and it's fourteen is eleven? Yeah, when did we split?
• 10:20
  Speaker 8: When he was like about, yeah we split?
• 10:23
  Speaker 7: We split once and yeah yeah, yeah, but I took
• 10:26
  Speaker 7: you back.
• 10:26
  Speaker 8: I got back with you. Remember when I met yo? Correct,
• 10:30
  Speaker 8: you know I can't say his real name, but when
• 10:33
  Speaker 8: I met you was because I was about to say
• 10:39
  Speaker 8: his real name.
• 10:39
  Speaker 3: Why did you fight for it? Why didn't you fight
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: for that family back?
• 10:42
  Speaker 5: If that's what you wanted, If that's what Ashton meant
• 10:44
  Speaker 5: to you, why wouldn't you say you know what, I'm
• 10:45
  Speaker 5: gonna cut the bs out and I'm gonna fight for
• 10:48
  Speaker 5: my friend.
• 10:49
  Speaker 8: Just music, Oh, because the music.
• 10:55
  Speaker 2: I used music a lot. It's a therapy for me.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: It was influence spot.
• 10:59
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and it's one it's one person.
• 11:01
  Speaker 7: No, no you talking about Webby no Boothy? Oh yeah,
• 11:09
  Speaker 7: that's yeah, okay.
• 11:11
  Speaker 8: One thing he said and you can you can curse
• 11:13
  Speaker 8: and say it. One thing he said was.
• 11:17
  Speaker 2: A nigga can do a thousand and one things once
• 11:20
  Speaker 2: the girl that one person, we can't take it. M
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: so at that moment, and then even at that time,
• 11:26
  Speaker 2: like you know, still it's pear of pressure people around you.
• 11:30
  Speaker 2: Oh and then at that time I really cared about
• 11:31
  Speaker 2: what my friends start, so it was BC and then
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: it was like a manhood and you know, like my
• 11:37
  Speaker 2: father ain't really say too much negative, but you know,
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: he said the things he said. But you know, I
• 11:45
  Speaker 2: think I was more so heartbroken because of you know,
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: certain things that she did do with the manual, not
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: even just in mine. You know, bro, you might you
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: might as well if I see you texting five or
• 11:58
  Speaker 2: six men, you might as well and fucked all because
• 12:01
  Speaker 2: in my mind you did you had when I'm no, no,
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: I'm not making a scene like that. What I'm making
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: this scene like is if you even if I see
• 12:12
  Speaker 2: you texting him talking to over, you might, as on
• 12:16
  Speaker 2: his mind, my mind, you.
• 12:19
  Speaker 8: Have sex with them.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a double standing because you was doing it
• 12:22
  Speaker 3: even if.
• 12:24
  Speaker 7: Yeah, even if you didn't have sex with him, like
• 12:27
  Speaker 7: have sex.
• 12:27
  Speaker 6: Even if I'm just talking to somebody and he go
• 12:30
  Speaker 6: on my phone and he said, oh he looking over,
• 12:31
  Speaker 6: and I'm texting him because you know, I was going
• 12:33
  Speaker 6: pretty hard, you know what I mean. But like he
• 12:35
  Speaker 6: would look over and see he already just assumed, like,
• 12:38
  Speaker 6: oh yeah, if you got balls enough to sit right
• 12:40
  Speaker 6: here and text a nigga right in front of.
• 12:42
  Speaker 2: Me, you're sleeping with him.
• 12:43
  Speaker 6: And it's like Rome overthinks, like he creates these scenarios
• 12:47
  Speaker 6: in his mind, and he overthinks, and he thinks himself
• 12:50
  Speaker 6: out of the relationships.
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: He's not wrong for that, even though we shouldn't.
• 12:54
  Speaker 3: He's not right.
• 12:55
  Speaker 2: But when I'm right, I'm right. When I'm wrong, I
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: could have been right. But when I'm right, I was wrong,
• 12:59
  Speaker 2: but I wasn't wrong.
• 13:00
  Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, you know what I'm saying.
• 13:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but no, you know you you did some things
• 13:08
  Speaker 2: to me too, Yeah I believe.
• 13:10
  Speaker 7: Okay, let's all right, that's fine, and I'll.
• 13:12
  Speaker 2: Take you did a lot of things in me. I
• 13:14
  Speaker 2: done pulled up on Dressica a couple of times in
• 13:19
  Speaker 2: her neighborhood. And then that's one thing too. I don't
• 13:22
  Speaker 2: like you ignore my phone calls. Control don't ignore my
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: phone calls, and then don't hang up on me when
• 13:28
  Speaker 2: I'm trying to explain, because you're not let me get
• 13:33
  Speaker 2: my point across, because then that means you don't care
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: about how I feel. And that's one thing about the society.
• 13:39
  Speaker 2: Nobody cares about how men actually feel. And then when
• 13:41
  Speaker 2: men try to open up, and I looked at it,
• 13:45
  Speaker 2: and it's on the same track that Michael Beasley and
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Shannon Shock, I felt a lot of things Michael Beezy
• 13:52
  Speaker 2: said when a man tried to open up, your laugh
• 13:55
  Speaker 2: at me until it's too late. I'm just he was
• 14:00
  Speaker 2: able to get the help he needed to to be
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: able to tell his story. But it's a lot of
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: other men who are shamed to do it. But this book,
• 14:08
  Speaker 2: and that ties everything to this book. This book is
• 14:10
  Speaker 2: a great book because his father's out there. It's hopeless
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: because you got a lot of types of did beats.
• 14:17
  Speaker 2: You got did beats who they don't do something to
• 14:19
  Speaker 2: baby mother, say that did beat. Yeah, dibbies who just
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: actually don't give a fuck. You got dibbies who said, oh,
• 14:25
  Speaker 2: don't get the don't don't have that child, and then
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: you still have the child. It's so many different ones.
• 14:31
  Speaker 2: But for the men who actually want to be in
• 14:33
  Speaker 2: their father's life and they kids. I'm sorry for the
• 14:37
  Speaker 2: men who actually want to be in their kids life.
• 14:38
  Speaker 2: I just don't understand why women don't want to allow.
• 14:41
  Speaker 4: That that they didn't stay there for a second because
• 14:43
  Speaker 4: I asked m I said, wrong, if you had a
• 14:46
  Speaker 4: title for your book, what would be called?
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: You had a very interesting title. The second one.
• 14:51
  Speaker 2: I got to tell you something with the second one.
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: Let the father be your father, not when it's convenient
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: for you.
• 14:57
  Speaker 4: That's that's not when it's convenient for you, is what
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: got me. Do you feel like she only wanted you
• 15:02
  Speaker 4: to be a father when it was convenient for her?
• 15:03
  Speaker 2: No?
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: Okay, not no.
• 15:05
  Speaker 2: Not with her, I got a lot of of course
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: you knew I got a line. But no, with me
• 15:10
  Speaker 2: and Jessica, it was never about I don't understand that.
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: This was before the dis That's why it's most genuine,
• 15:15
  Speaker 2: because she didn't keep a child because of a status
• 15:17
  Speaker 2: or some some money or whatever the case man be.
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: We just was honestly thought we was in love. And
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: then when I grew up, I didn't grow up on
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: spend your Hot blocks and that type of music. I
• 15:27
  Speaker 2: grew up on Bow Wow and Little Romeo and Sammy,
• 15:31
  Speaker 2: so like it was, it was love music, and you
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: just I always just wanted those fairy tales. Like my
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: favorite show growing up was Sweet Life in Zach and
• 15:39
  Speaker 2: Cody because of the family dynamic. So it's like for
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: a young man or want that, and then you see
• 15:45
  Speaker 2: my life didn't get that. That's one of the things
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: I'd be like, damn. I don't say I fucked up,
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: but I'd be like, well, wow, why I couldn't get
• 15:55
  Speaker 2: those cards? And I used to always a lot of
• 15:57
  Speaker 2: my friends. I used to be jealous of my friends
• 15:59
  Speaker 2: growing up. They had a mom and dad and I didn't.
• 16:02
  Speaker 2: And I told him, bro, like I don't like you.
• 16:04
  Speaker 2: I love you, but I don't like you. My friends
• 16:08
  Speaker 2: because they had they had what I wanted. And then
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: I just used to see how they just never appreciated they.
• 16:13
  Speaker 5: Mom was a co parenting way that your co parent now?
• 16:17
  Speaker 5: Was that always there or had to get there? Like
• 16:19
  Speaker 5: at first was just not letting you see your son
• 16:22
  Speaker 5: or you didn't want to see your How did it
• 16:25
  Speaker 5: originally start?
• 16:26
  Speaker 2: So it was always co parenting. It's just I was
• 16:27
  Speaker 2: co parenting with my mother. With my mother, Yeah, with
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: Mama arriving.
• 16:32
  Speaker 3: Just didn't want to see you.
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: Because Jess was Ess.
• 16:36
  Speaker 8: I didn't want to see you.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: Why did she had to see me because she was
• 16:38
  Speaker 2: living at the daycare, so she was going to see me.
• 16:41
  Speaker 2: But it's never been a point where I couldn't see
• 16:44
  Speaker 2: my son or he's keeping away from me because she
• 16:47
  Speaker 2: she has that family dynamic. Who this ain't that?
• 16:52
  Speaker 5: And why just why didn't you? Because most people would
• 16:54
  Speaker 5: have been like, he did me dirty, he cheated on me,
• 16:57
  Speaker 5: he did all these things.
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: I'm gonna use my son to hurt him. A lot
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: of people do that.
• 17:01
  Speaker 5: We see that a lot of relationships. Why wasn't your
• 17:02
  Speaker 5: mind for maps heard as you couldn't?
• 17:06
  Speaker 8: I just yeah, I just couldn't do it.
• 17:08
  Speaker 6: I gave Rome a lot of grace because you know
• 17:12
  Speaker 6: I was doing my my is too, But you know
• 17:14
  Speaker 6: it's not about who, well, actually it was, it was
• 17:16
  Speaker 6: about who started it.
• 17:18
  Speaker 1: But whatever.
• 17:18
  Speaker 6: But once we started going back and forth trying to
• 17:20
  Speaker 6: hurt each other and trying to make each other feel
• 17:22
  Speaker 6: the pain that each one of us felt, I got
• 17:26
  Speaker 6: I got tired of that, and once I wanted to
• 17:30
  Speaker 6: sit down with Rome and just put everything on the table, like, yo,
• 17:33
  Speaker 6: are you you that'st admit everything things that I did
• 17:36
  Speaker 6: that I was lying to him about he admitted things
• 17:38
  Speaker 6: to me, Well, he explained things to me, because that's
• 17:41
  Speaker 6: the thing Rome never really told me. Every day I
• 17:44
  Speaker 6: will find out and I'm going I'm coming to him, like, yo,
• 17:47
  Speaker 6: this is what happened.
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 17:48
  Speaker 8: Ai Ai was not we It wasn't.
• 17:50
  Speaker 6: Even that our favorite tips back then. So no, but
• 17:54
  Speaker 6: I was able to give him a lot of grace.
• 17:55
  Speaker 6: And then also like Kitch trauma, he went through a
• 17:58
  Speaker 6: lot when he was younger, and I realize them, like, yo,
• 18:01
  Speaker 6: I'm a lot more mature to see that. And and
• 18:05
  Speaker 6: my mother always instilled that in me. Give a person grace.
• 18:08
  Speaker 6: Everybody comes from different walks of life. You don't know
• 18:11
  Speaker 6: what he's gone through, and it's hard to operate in
• 18:14
  Speaker 6: this world without a mother, you know, and then with
• 18:17
  Speaker 6: an absent father, you know, father who you see, but
• 18:19
  Speaker 6: he not really there is no really is no real bond.
• 18:22
  Speaker 6: So I felt the need to be more of a
• 18:25
  Speaker 6: friend and a confidante, you know, because I think I
• 18:28
  Speaker 6: was like the only one that you can open up
• 18:31
  Speaker 6: to about a lot of things that happened in your childhood,
• 18:34
  Speaker 6: A lot of things that you know you didn't that
• 18:36
  Speaker 6: you that you didn't get as a kid.
• 18:38
  Speaker 8: After your mom's passing.
• 18:41
  Speaker 5: So I think that's what it was, because you talk
• 18:43
  Speaker 5: about being vulnerable.
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: Did she ever use that?
• 18:45
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's what I was going to say next. But
• 18:46
  Speaker 2: the big umbrella of everything she's saying a mother because
• 18:53
  Speaker 2: she wouldn't allow it. You have women, you have men,
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: you have human beings itself who when shit don't go
• 19:02
  Speaker 2: their way, they got enablers around them telling them that
• 19:06
  Speaker 2: that's right, that's right. When her mother, I loved her
• 19:09
  Speaker 2: mother so much in minds me, her mother used to
• 19:11
  Speaker 2: go through hell hargh water because I was always rebellious,
• 19:14
  Speaker 2: and then as I got a certain age, I'm already
• 19:16
  Speaker 2: defensive because of what my dad did. So you can't
• 19:18
  Speaker 2: tell me, but I had to take myself step back.
• 19:22
  Speaker 2: She's not trying to hurt you. Wrong, h and yeah
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: she she just you wrong, wrong, you're wrong. So it
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: wasn't no, oh that's my daughter. I'm gonna take her
• 19:33
  Speaker 2: side right because it was. It was honestly like I
• 19:36
  Speaker 2: think because the cole parenting itself, it got it was.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: It wasn't bad, but it got great after a while.
• 19:43
  Speaker 2: It didn't just happened overnight. It really started happening when
• 19:47
  Speaker 2: I took my feelings out of it, like I stayed
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: in the past, like when that, when that that narrative, Oh,
• 19:54
  Speaker 2: I don't want this nigga around my kid. I don't
• 19:56
  Speaker 2: want this, I don't want that. I I allowed it
• 20:00
  Speaker 2: to happen, though, because when I decided to hurt that
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: woman or not want to be with that woman, that
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: opens up the door so she can have whoever the
• 20:07
  Speaker 2: she want to have around that child.
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 20:09
  Speaker 2: So the logical part that I went with was, okay,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: just longest ain't trying to hurt my kid. I'm okay,
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: and I respect my child mom enough and I trust
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: them enough and even now all of them to not
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: allow that to happen.
• 20:25
  Speaker 4: I want, I want to ask you something wrong because
• 20:26
  Speaker 4: you said what you wanted growing up with the two
• 20:28
  Speaker 4: parent household. Yeah, And a lot of people would say,
• 20:31
  Speaker 4: how can somebody with that mindset end up with five
• 20:34
  Speaker 4: baby mothers because it's impossible to give those kids what
• 20:37
  Speaker 4: you wanted, correct, So why would you create the same.
• 20:40
  Speaker 2: Type of So let me let me elaborate and piggyback.
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: So I never really that two point household now is new.
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: I never really cared for a two point household. I
• 20:51
  Speaker 2: just wanted my mother got you h So mind you,
• 20:55
  Speaker 2: I was fine with going with my dad on the weekends,
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: going back to my mother until that last weekend and
• 21:01
  Speaker 2: get to go back to my mom. So the two
• 21:04
  Speaker 2: parent household dynamic come from, like I said, shows and
• 21:07
  Speaker 2: stuff like that, and reality and the stigma that society
• 21:11
  Speaker 2: put on you. Oh it's supposed to be like this
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: when two point household produced some of the most fucked
• 21:17
  Speaker 2: upiest people in the world.
• 21:18
  Speaker 1: But you are not a fucked up person.
• 21:20
  Speaker 4: Now your brother with high emotional intelligence. So clearly I
• 21:23
  Speaker 4: know you wanted to be better than your Yeah, correct.
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: And like I said, I may, I may, I may.
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: I made decisions. A lot of decisions I made was
• 21:30
  Speaker 2: out of vulnerability. A lot of decisions I made was
• 21:32
  Speaker 2: out of hurt, you know. And I'm not ashamed to
• 21:37
  Speaker 2: say that. People like, oh, oh, whatever, that's me.
• 21:40
  Speaker 6: Can I ask you and you just tell me if
• 21:43
  Speaker 6: you agree that. I feel like you were looking for
• 21:47
  Speaker 6: maybe your mom and these women. And that's why, you know,
• 21:51
  Speaker 6: because you had lost at a very young age, and
• 21:53
  Speaker 6: that nurturing and that you know, all that nurturing and
• 21:56
  Speaker 6: affection stopped at a very early age, and you went
• 21:59
  Speaker 6: from that household. That's all you knew, love and positivity
• 22:04
  Speaker 6: and just you know, all of that to a very
• 22:06
  Speaker 6: different type of household. You know, it wasn't much affection,
• 22:09
  Speaker 6: It wasn't nurturing. And I feel like that actually shaped
• 22:13
  Speaker 6: how you looking women in my relationships. Yeah, like it
• 22:18
  Speaker 6: affected your love life in a way.
• 22:20
  Speaker 8: Do you agree with that.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: We're going to be very transparent. I never looked in
• 22:27
  Speaker 2: my I never looked for women, and I never looked
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: for my mother and women. I did look for the
• 22:32
  Speaker 2: love and affection, right, Why I never looked in I
• 22:37
  Speaker 2: never looked for my mother and women because I'm put
• 22:39
  Speaker 2: on tape. My mother wasn't a saint mother di shit
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: like you know, like, but who she was to you,
• 22:47
  Speaker 2: who she was to me was she was great. But
• 22:50
  Speaker 2: it was like once she left, it was just that
• 22:52
  Speaker 2: that affection that loved, that holding a person. Because I
• 22:55
  Speaker 2: used to hold my mother every night. She put me
• 22:57
  Speaker 2: out every night I used to hold her. It really
• 22:59
  Speaker 2: didn't affect me until I got older and started dealing
• 23:01
  Speaker 2: with women. Because why I'm going through school, I'm always busy.
• 23:06
  Speaker 2: Maybe that's why it didn't affect me. I'm grades baseball, basketball.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: I really had no downtown to really think about it.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: I know my mom and at the like probably like thirteen,
• 23:16
  Speaker 2: I'm you know, I'm washing cars. That's what That's what
• 23:19
  Speaker 2: my mother love cause, so that's where I get that from.
• 23:21
  Speaker 2: So it's like I don't think that it. I never
• 23:23
  Speaker 2: really said, oh I want you my mother and this
• 23:24
  Speaker 2: woman because my mother ain't know how to cook cleaned up.
• 23:29
  Speaker 5: But you know you have five baby moms, right and
• 23:33
  Speaker 5: of course just had relationships before she recently recently got married.
• 23:38
  Speaker 5: How did you co parent in that situation?
• 23:40
  Speaker 2: Right?
• 23:40
  Speaker 5: Because asking to be at his house, he.
• 23:43
  Speaker 3: Has women there, you know, or you know, just might
• 23:46
  Speaker 3: have a guy.
• 23:47
  Speaker 5: Like how did y'all it's crazy that you.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Just cut that man off talking about his mom.
• 23:50
  Speaker 2: No, it's it's gonna come back now. So I can't
• 23:53
  Speaker 2: see where you're going at go ahead forget.
• 23:55
  Speaker 5: So I'm asking, so how did you deal with that?
• 23:57
  Speaker 5: Because that's what you've seen with your life?
• 24:00
  Speaker 2: So how did I see with my son there with
• 24:03
  Speaker 2: her and her man?
• 24:04
  Speaker 1: Like, how do we co parent?
• 24:05
  Speaker 2: Like?
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: How did you you know, like we're speaking.
• 24:07
  Speaker 2: On this speaking on the husband now before the husband
• 24:11
  Speaker 2: before diferent my relationships.
• 24:15
  Speaker 6: And ashe will be home with me. But then he come, Yeah, like,
• 24:19
  Speaker 6: how was the co parents and relationship between you.
• 24:21
  Speaker 2: And I when that was going on schedule?
• 24:24
  Speaker 8: You had girlfriends and I ain't gonna hold you.
• 24:26
  Speaker 2: That took my feelings out of it. A couple of
• 24:28
  Speaker 2: men that one two, one and a half you literally
• 24:33
  Speaker 2: only liked one and a half. I ain't like the
• 24:35
  Speaker 2: our one, but you didn't like him first I didn't,
• 24:38
  Speaker 2: but we're going, yeah, yeah, one and a half because
• 24:43
  Speaker 2: what half be half? I adn't really cared for him,
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: but he loved her, so he loved my he loved
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: my son. So like I said, it's times where Rome
• 24:54
  Speaker 2: just taking taken to the house when they them two
• 24:57
  Speaker 2: was you know, in one household and I would drop
• 24:59
  Speaker 2: them off problems or none of that. So that that
• 25:01
  Speaker 2: was it. That was the only transaction for us that
• 25:03
  Speaker 2: really wasn't us how by whatever, nothing. I ain't really
• 25:06
  Speaker 2: care for him because of what he was saying to
• 25:09
  Speaker 2: the other women who was coming to me. If that
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: makes sense, I'm still I'm confused.
• 25:14
  Speaker 3: Break it down a little bit.
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: Okay, So he wasn't a sane in this that in
• 25:17
  Speaker 2: that relationship neither, okay, And we then came across a
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: couple of the same women. I ain't disclosing anything.
• 25:23
  Speaker 3: But did you ever tell just that, like, it's not my.
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: Business she figured wrong, was not your business.
• 25:30
  Speaker 3: It's not what your son did.
• 25:32
  Speaker 2: That's my sun. But they wasn't in the household. He
• 25:34
  Speaker 2: was doing what he did on his free time when
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: he was doing How I know that because my son
• 25:40
  Speaker 2: was with me majority of the time when he's doing.
• 25:42
  Speaker 8: It on his free time. Well, cheater was supported cheater anyway.
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: I'm not supporting the cheater. You chose him, and that's
• 25:48
  Speaker 2: on you.
• 25:49
  Speaker 8: I didn't know he was cheating.
• 25:50
  Speaker 2: Well I didn't either. I didn't either, but it was
• 25:57
  Speaker 2: no problem after the real.
• 26:00
  Speaker 6: Quick Yeah, you said there was no problem to answer
• 26:02
  Speaker 6: this question, but he was saying something earlier when I
• 26:05
  Speaker 6: came in and he was asking you, did I did
• 26:08
  Speaker 6: I ever use like anything against you, like as far
• 26:11
  Speaker 6: as your mind.
• 26:11
  Speaker 2: No, No, So I.
• 26:16
  Speaker 8: Have not done that.
• 26:16
  Speaker 2: It was more comfortable with talking to her about it
• 26:19
  Speaker 2: because she never used it against me. Got you, But
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: of course you know, I deal with that every day,
• 26:25
  Speaker 2: Like I think. The worst that my child mom has
• 26:27
  Speaker 2: said to me was kill yourself and lay next to
• 26:30
  Speaker 2: your mother.
• 26:31
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 26:32
  Speaker 8: Mm hmm.
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: That's that's that's beyond ports.
• 26:34
  Speaker 2: But then call me and ask me for a hot
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: shot the next day. Mm hmmm, and I did it?
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Mmm? Have you have you ever? Have you ever gone to?
• 26:44
  Speaker 4: Like a therapist is somebody to talk about, like the
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: clear mother wound that you have, you know, the mother.
• 26:50
  Speaker 2: I talked to the actually was consistent until I felt
• 26:54
  Speaker 2: like I ain't never needed no more, But it was consistent.
• 26:58
  Speaker 2: The therapist that you gave to me a couple of
• 27:01
  Speaker 2: years ago, I was using him and it just was
• 27:03
  Speaker 2: over the phone. I don't really need to face to face.
• 27:05
  Speaker 2: It just be just listening. You listen to me and
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: then you give me everything you can to just help me.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: Like so that that therapist. Yet, So that's why I
• 27:15
  Speaker 2: always even it be Sometimes I might text you like
• 27:18
  Speaker 2: piece of Blessings can be cause I got that from
• 27:19
  Speaker 2: you to Peace and Blessing spot. But yeah I did.
• 27:23
  Speaker 8: And why do you feel like you can't go in person?
• 27:26
  Speaker 2: Ain't I ain't saying I can't. I just I ain't
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: saying I can't. I just saying that it probably is.
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: But it's just like I don't feel like I would
• 27:34
  Speaker 2: need to to go in person, like even now we're
• 27:38
  Speaker 2: in the world now where everything is virtual and a
• 27:40
  Speaker 2: lot of things are virtual and stuff like that.
• 27:42
  Speaker 6: So but sometimes that's not the best because there's that
• 27:45
  Speaker 6: that human connection. You can't get that through a screen
• 27:47
  Speaker 6: all the time, you know what I mean. The atmosphere
• 27:50
  Speaker 6: is different than an actual therapist's office now if you
• 27:52
  Speaker 6: need to, if you want a roll on the go
• 27:54
  Speaker 6: all the time. I do understand that, but I think
• 27:56
  Speaker 6: that you would truly benefit from person that whole atmosphere,
• 28:02
  Speaker 6: like a different atmosphere, a different environment where you can
• 28:04
  Speaker 6: feel safe enough to open up about things because you
• 28:08
  Speaker 6: probably things that you probably haven't even confronted.
• 28:10
  Speaker 8: You know, you never know, like the trauma a lot.
• 28:14
  Speaker 6: It could be other traumas that stemmed from you know,
• 28:16
  Speaker 6: before Keisha, before your mind passed. You know, it could
• 28:19
  Speaker 6: be things that you didn't deal with or you know,
• 28:22
  Speaker 6: you don't know about until it's activated. So the trauma
• 28:25
  Speaker 6: is like activating you gotta face it, you know what
• 28:27
  Speaker 6: I mean.
• 28:28
  Speaker 4: I never had the language to explain you and just
• 28:32
  Speaker 4: his energy, but I feel like I have it now.
• 28:34
  Speaker 4: Like when I see just with you, she's literally trying
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: to heal that mother womb, not by trying to be
• 28:42
  Speaker 4: your mother in anyway. But I I the way she
• 28:44
  Speaker 4: talks to you, the concerns she has for you. I'm
• 28:47
  Speaker 4: sure that the deep conversations y'all have. I constantly see
• 28:50
  Speaker 4: her trying to put neo's boring and you know all
• 28:53
  Speaker 4: of the things that help treat that mother womb that
• 28:56
  Speaker 4: exists in you. And it makes sense when you're telling
• 28:57
  Speaker 4: me that you have had other baby mothers with poor
• 29:00
  Speaker 4: so they use.
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: It against you.
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she just keep me mellow. If y'all knowiced I'm
• 29:06
  Speaker 2: more relaxed. I'm always on the uppity because I'm always
• 29:10
  Speaker 2: in defense mode. Yeah, it's like I'm always trying to
• 29:13
  Speaker 2: prove myself and that's why a lot of times you
• 29:17
  Speaker 2: stress yourself out.
• 29:18
  Speaker 5: But how did it affect you when she got married?
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: Right?
• 29:21
  Speaker 5: Because they said there was boundaries. And the reason I
• 29:22
  Speaker 5: asked is if I'm marrying somebody, I know y'all might
• 29:26
  Speaker 5: have a relationship, and I know y'all might be tight,
• 29:29
  Speaker 5: but you kind of got to find your own personally
• 29:31
  Speaker 5: on because that's mine, you know what I mean, That's
• 29:33
  Speaker 5: that's my wife, now, you know what I mean. But
• 29:35
  Speaker 5: y'all was so tight for so long how did those
• 29:37
  Speaker 5: new boundaries affect co parenting and your relationship?
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because somebody had to build the wall.
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: It ain't affect nothing. Guess what it wasn't It wasn't
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: the wall built a man. So when she leap and
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: in mind I need to step by step. But and
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: it wasn't even o wrong. I want you to meet Chris.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: It's just a genuine and it wasn't no wall, my man,
• 30:07
  Speaker 2: I always have respect. How did I deal with uh
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: not being around them more or talking to.
• 30:15
  Speaker 3: Its best friend y'all?
• 30:17
  Speaker 2: But I never thought about that because you're selfish if
• 30:20
  Speaker 2: you don't want your best friend or you're the person
• 30:23
  Speaker 2: that you love to be happy. So if this is
• 30:26
  Speaker 2: what makes her happy, Okay, I got one child mom
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: that's happy.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: Mm hmmm.
• 30:32
  Speaker 2: One found the Russell Wilson.
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: Thank you.
• 30:36
  Speaker 8: This is what you used to say in the future.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: I'm like, you know you wanted somebody. You wanted her
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: to get somebody better.
• 30:44
  Speaker 2: I want her to get a Russell Wilson.
• 30:45
  Speaker 1: Let me ask you. That's a good that's a good segue,
• 30:48
  Speaker 1: and it is.
• 30:48
  Speaker 4: What's one thing just I don't want to say exposed,
• 30:51
  Speaker 4: but said about you in the book that made you say, Damn,
• 30:54
  Speaker 4: I didn't realize I.
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: Was that toxic.
• 30:57
  Speaker 2: Mhm mm hmmmm.
• 31:05
  Speaker 8: Definitely think about it.
• 31:12
  Speaker 2: The baby, my son first birthday.
• 31:14
  Speaker 7: M hmm.
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: That's one but a lot of them. When she stated
• 31:20
  Speaker 2: that sounds like I did it. I don't remember that
• 31:22
  Speaker 2: part though, but she said I bought the girl in
• 31:26
  Speaker 2: the birthday party.
• 31:28
  Speaker 8: Mm hmm.
• 31:29
  Speaker 2: How friends made the girl leave or whatever the case
• 31:31
  Speaker 2: may be.
• 31:32
  Speaker 3: You brought your new chick to yourself, just asked him.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: I want to be I want to be clear, explaining.
• 31:39
  Speaker 2: All that, explained all that she was like. At that time,
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: toxic wasn't thrown around, so I ain't looking at it
• 31:55
  Speaker 2: as toxic now. It's always just got my way. So
• 32:00
  Speaker 2: that son ship. If you're saying how that made me feel,
• 32:04
  Speaker 2: I said I. And the crazy part is I didn't
• 32:15
  Speaker 2: even tell a DJ to play that song. I think
• 32:18
  Speaker 2: my brother somebody what song was played it was? I
• 32:21
  Speaker 2: think it was Yeah, But I'm telling you you, oh yeah, No,
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: I don't think I think my brother not time because
• 32:26
  Speaker 2: I came late on purpose because I wanted to make
• 32:28
  Speaker 2: a drank grand interest. Yeah at this time, action one
• 32:33
  Speaker 2: only twenty. I'll just imagine I've been so the song
• 32:38
  Speaker 2: was a homie was wrong with you? That bitch don't
• 32:40
  Speaker 2: belong to you?
• 32:41
  Speaker 8: Yes, see him five or see him four.
• 32:43
  Speaker 2: One of them four m three or see him four.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: She threw my shot out the window. I mean, I
• 32:48
  Speaker 2: think I told you that before she did the window.
• 32:50
  Speaker 7: But you walk in the party. But wait, we were
• 32:53
  Speaker 7: supposed to sugar together, all.
• 32:56
  Speaker 3: White with.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she forgot to leave out the book that she
• 33:03
  Speaker 2: inserted herself and me and my son pictures.
• 33:05
  Speaker 8: What are you talking about?
• 33:06
  Speaker 2: When we took baby pictures me and him, I inserted myself. Yeah,
• 33:09
  Speaker 2: you weren't supposed to be with us.
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: Damn.
• 33:12
  Speaker 2: Wow. That's how I knew that it wasn't it was
• 33:14
  Speaker 2: over because when I schedule for them pictures, Uh yeah,
• 33:21
  Speaker 2: me and I wasn't together.
• 33:22
  Speaker 6: I was trying to force the relationship wrong. I really
• 33:25
  Speaker 6: really wanted to give my give our son that family dynamic.
• 33:30
  Speaker 6: Like I tell the truth about it, I take accountability,
• 33:33
  Speaker 6: like I was really trying to.
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: You don't want to really hurt me.
• 33:37
  Speaker 6: You didn't want to really hurt because he goes because
• 33:40
  Speaker 6: he don't want to admit like you're talking about. Hell, remember,
• 33:43
  Speaker 6: and it didn't happen like that shorty came to listen
• 33:45
  Speaker 6: and this was the time when love and hip hop
• 33:47
  Speaker 6: was hot.
• 33:47
  Speaker 8: He thought he was Stevie J.
• 33:48
  Speaker 7: He thought he had walked in with Joscelyn HERNANDEZK.
• 33:51
  Speaker 2: And I never walk in with a woman who was illiterate,
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: liked because that is my friend. Let me take that back.
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: That's my girl, and let me take that back.
• 34:01
  Speaker 2: That's not what I mean. Go ahead, Oh my god.
• 34:04
  Speaker 8: So yeah, he walks in with the girl.
• 34:07
  Speaker 6: You can obviously see she don't really know she know
• 34:11
  Speaker 6: what she at but she didn't really like understand until
• 34:14
  Speaker 6: she got in there, like.
• 34:15
  Speaker 8: Oh, English, this is his kid whatever, this is this,
• 34:20
  Speaker 8: this is his.
• 34:21
  Speaker 6: Kid's first birthday party. And everybody's looking at me like
• 34:24
  Speaker 6: I'm not supposed to be here. He told her that
• 34:26
  Speaker 6: I was gonna that we were broken up and I
• 34:28
  Speaker 6: was gonna have my boyfriend there.
• 34:30
  Speaker 8: You was just my boyfriend.
• 34:31
  Speaker 6: Stupid he Why would you tell her that? And he
• 34:34
  Speaker 6: come in there, he got a chaise on, he dressed
• 34:37
  Speaker 6: just like our son or whatever. He walks off, leave
• 34:40
  Speaker 6: her right there in the middle of the party. So
• 34:41
  Speaker 6: now me and my friends were my friends because I'm
• 34:43
  Speaker 6: you know, I'm not about to walk up to a
• 34:45
  Speaker 6: fighter like, my friends are like, yo, let's get this
• 34:48
  Speaker 6: bitch out of here.
• 34:49
  Speaker 1: You know.
• 34:50
  Speaker 6: Instantly my father grabbed me like, come on, come on,
• 34:52
  Speaker 6: let let me talk to you. Let me talk to you,
• 34:53
  Speaker 6: and he had told my father, Yo, mister Kevin, she
• 34:57
  Speaker 6: told me that Ashton wasn't mine. So so my father
• 35:00
  Speaker 6: understood like, wow, okay, you don't do this, but damn
• 35:03
  Speaker 6: I do get it. I don't know why she would
• 35:04
  Speaker 6: tell you that. So it was that was his reaction
• 35:07
  Speaker 6: to me saying that. But it was like, Yo, you
• 35:10
  Speaker 6: can't look at this little boy and say that he's
• 35:12
  Speaker 6: not yours. Obviously, I was trying to press the button.
• 35:15
  Speaker 6: I shouldn't upset it. I apologize for it, and I
• 35:18
  Speaker 6: encourage women to never do that, you know what I mean.
• 35:20
  Speaker 6: But I encourage men to never show up to a
• 35:24
  Speaker 6: baby shower or a first birthday party with a whole
• 35:28
  Speaker 6: nother girl unless you with that girl and you're not
• 35:30
  Speaker 6: with your baby.
• 35:32
  Speaker 1: Because you heard.
• 35:33
  Speaker 2: How can you control how somebody reacted you that you
• 35:36
  Speaker 2: are so right?
• 35:37
  Speaker 3: You could have got that girl's ass was like.
• 35:41
  Speaker 1: English, she was bad too.
• 35:44
  Speaker 8: You can tell she didn't even know what was going on.
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: You paid for the coming. That was your girl.
• 35:48
  Speaker 8: Man, That wasn't this girl?
• 35:49
  Speaker 2: Ain't you saying actter?
• 35:50
  Speaker 1: That why she didn't speak English? Still, so both of
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: y'all got a thing for Latino.
• 35:56
  Speaker 2: Oh my god.
• 35:59
  Speaker 7: Where I don't know where he got her from whatever,
• 36:01
  Speaker 7: But like that was a big statement.
• 36:03
  Speaker 8: That was a big statement on his end, you know.
• 36:06
  Speaker 2: And I've always been a troll, right because yeah, I
• 36:15
  Speaker 2: always been a troll because it was going to hurt
• 36:17
  Speaker 2: her more if I did it publicly like that, opposed
• 36:21
  Speaker 2: to her telling me what my son solidly because you
• 36:25
  Speaker 2: told me solently, but it hurt me big, so you okay,
• 36:31
  Speaker 2: I set that up too.
• 36:33
  Speaker 1: I said it.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: I said it a real nice home run. But looking back,
• 36:38
  Speaker 2: I wish I wouldn't have did it, because I didn't.
• 36:40
  Speaker 2: I never meant to humiliate her. But this is the
• 36:44
  Speaker 2: thing that I tell people all the time. It's so
• 36:46
  Speaker 2: easy to co parent when you keep your family and
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: your friends out of shit. I've never had that problem
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: on my end. My people are not saying I control them.
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: My people in compliance, you overstep that boundary, you're cut off.
• 37:02
  Speaker 2: I ain't married, but that's how I carry things. Because
• 37:05
  Speaker 2: we said last time, when I was here. You can
• 37:07
  Speaker 2: say what you want about this person, I'm still gonna
• 37:09
  Speaker 2: be with them.
• 37:10
  Speaker 8: M hmm.
• 37:11
  Speaker 2: Sometimes that messes up relationships because you can still love
• 37:15
  Speaker 2: this person and be with this person, but yet you
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: don't want to be around this person family because you
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: know that they don't like you. I can't sit and
• 37:20
  Speaker 2: fake I love you. If I don't want to be
• 37:22
  Speaker 2: ring your family, I'm not going. So that means no functions.
• 37:25
  Speaker 2: I don't want them at none of l functions. So
• 37:26
  Speaker 2: where does that leave us? You're gonna have to make
• 37:29
  Speaker 2: a decision what you had to choose to. Don't choose me.
• 37:32
  Speaker 6: But where is the compromise though, because if you love
• 37:34
  Speaker 6: that person, then you with you love that person.
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: The compromising is I'm compromising for you, but that family
• 37:40
  Speaker 2: don't want that. Family ain't compromising. They're not compromising for
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: the person that they love.
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: But this not it is.
• 37:46
  Speaker 7: But guess what the ultimate You will go to this
• 37:50
  Speaker 7: wedding or you will go to this cookout.
• 37:52
  Speaker 2: You know, Oh, I feel like that's fake, and that's fake.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: You can't relate because we never had that well I've
• 37:59
  Speaker 2: never been in that situation either.
• 38:01
  Speaker 8: No, we haven't.
• 38:02
  Speaker 2: We haven't. But I've been in situation like that, but
• 38:05
  Speaker 2: so you can't relate to me because me and you
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: haven't been in that relationship, that that type of environment,
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: because it was always more of a a family narrative.
• 38:16
  Speaker 2: So even when we was beefing in those times, like
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: we still was a family. Like I didn't really just
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: push you to the curve because we still was a family.
• 38:24
  Speaker 4: I think a lot of this is gonna get conflated
• 38:26
  Speaker 4: when people are watching it only because a.
• 38:28
  Speaker 1: Lot of this ain't you in jest? Yeah, you and
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: your other correct baby mother?
• 38:33
  Speaker 2: Correct. And it's it's the co parting part about that
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: is it's times that I don't even want to talk.
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: Then I tell how to go talk to him the
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: other baby mamas, what right, man, just gonna help me
• 38:44
  Speaker 2: get a child's port? I went back on, but get
• 38:47
  Speaker 2: our child support. I tell her what I tell her.
• 38:49
  Speaker 2: I say, I said, witch, fuck you, I don't want
• 38:51
  Speaker 2: to talk to you, and walked off. If she go
• 38:55
  Speaker 2: no wrong, no wrong, no wrong, I'm like, I don't
• 38:57
  Speaker 2: want to talk to her, she don't want to talk.
• 38:59
  Speaker 2: It's okay, let it go, m But you know it
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: was you know, it's a beneficial right, And I think, man,
• 39:05
  Speaker 2: if more men had child mom like this one, I
• 39:07
  Speaker 2: think the world will be better because when you're not
• 39:10
  Speaker 2: the gathers and that's the biggest problem. When you're not together,
• 39:13
  Speaker 2: everybody want to be just controlling or better. Why if
• 39:18
  Speaker 2: you really loved that child, you would the best interest.
• 39:21
  Speaker 2: The best interest is not just for the father to
• 39:23
  Speaker 2: just pay for shit. The best interest is for the
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: father to be around the child. Allowed that man to
• 39:28
  Speaker 2: love his kid, allow that man to take kid his kid.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: One of the biggest things I don't like today is
• 39:32
  Speaker 2: people calling dad's weekend dads just come. Mother helped me
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: understand that. Okay, if the child live with his mom
• 39:38
  Speaker 2: money through Friday and you working money through Friday and
• 39:40
  Speaker 2: you get them on Saturday and Sunday, which my mom
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: did that with me and my dad, that's your time
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: your dad, like this weekend dad is during the week
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: that okay, you want then then here's a contradiction here,
• 39:51
  Speaker 2: weekend dad, but yet you want full custody, or you
• 39:55
  Speaker 2: want the full time, or you want the benefits of
• 39:57
  Speaker 2: being a full time mom. Okay, so if you want
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: you want to benefits of being a full time an,
• 40:01
  Speaker 2: I will take on the benefits of being a full
• 40:02
  Speaker 2: time It just makes no sense to me, like, how, oh,
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: I'll never get my kid up, But yet you complain
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: about the dad getting a child Friday through Sunday or Monday.
• 40:14
  Speaker 2: You're picking a child. You're picking a child up from
• 40:17
  Speaker 2: school or daycare Friday, and if you want to be
• 40:20
  Speaker 2: technically honest, the dad spend more time with the child
• 40:24
  Speaker 2: on Saturday and Sunday because the child's are in school,
• 40:27
  Speaker 2: going a week with daycare. And by time you get
• 40:29
  Speaker 2: off working and getting from school daycare, what you do
• 40:31
  Speaker 2: you getting ready for the next day where the dad's
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: on a Friday night, we can have fun. They gonna
• 40:36
  Speaker 2: be on the phone all night, be on an iPad,
• 40:37
  Speaker 2: go to sleep. Whenever Saturday we go to Themorrow, we
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: go shop, we go wherever you want. Sunday we probably
• 40:42
  Speaker 2: relax or not, or we do what we do. Then
• 40:44
  Speaker 2: Monday is back to business. So it's like, I just
• 40:48
  Speaker 2: don't don't I don't get all of that. Man, It's
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: just so much. Man, I feel like the dad is
• 40:52
  Speaker 2: just father. We go through hell and huh water.
• 40:55
  Speaker 4: Jess, what did you mean when you said and I
• 40:56
  Speaker 4: saw you say this on tearing in of course I
• 40:58
  Speaker 4: read in the book when you talk about having a
• 40:59
  Speaker 4: deep program and reprogram as after spending the weekends.
• 41:04
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so when he goes to Rome my house, because
• 41:08
  Speaker 6: we had we had Yeah, we had two different co
• 41:10
  Speaker 6: parenting vibes, right, two different co parents and styles.
• 41:14
  Speaker 8: I am the Rome is the lenient parent. I'm the
• 41:19
  Speaker 8: I'm strict, I have rules, I have structure.
• 41:22
  Speaker 6: I'm not saying there's no structure, but there is definitely
• 41:26
  Speaker 6: a lot more rules and discipline.
• 41:30
  Speaker 2: In my house on the week.
• 41:36
  Speaker 8: On the weekend.
• 41:36
  Speaker 6: Yeah, so you know, he kind of lets, you know,
• 41:39
  Speaker 6: ask just be and just do whatever he wants to.
• 41:42
  Speaker 6: Let him stay up all night, you know, just talk
• 41:44
  Speaker 6: on the phone or night. He's on the internet all day.
• 41:47
  Speaker 8: I don't really like that.
• 41:48
  Speaker 6: So when he comes back home with me, he's on
• 41:51
  Speaker 6: the phone, he's nonchalant, he's I'm asking him to do something.
• 41:55
  Speaker 6: I gotta tell him more than once, and I'm like, Okay,
• 41:57
  Speaker 6: you were just there for three days.
• 41:59
  Speaker 7: You gotta get it together.
• 42:00
  Speaker 6: Because the things that you do at Dad's house you
• 42:02
  Speaker 6: can't do here, you know what I mean, Like when
• 42:05
  Speaker 6: when you get up and get out of got when
• 42:08
  Speaker 6: you get up and get out of your bed.
• 42:09
  Speaker 8: And make it up.
• 42:10
  Speaker 6: You got your own bathroom, got your own balcon You've
• 42:12
  Speaker 6: got a big space in this house.
• 42:13
  Speaker 8: You need to clean it up, you know what I mean?
• 42:16
  Speaker 8: Like I just make him do certain things.
• 42:19
  Speaker 6: And that's the the dprogramming, reprogram having to remind him
• 42:22
  Speaker 6: where he.
• 42:23
  Speaker 8: At in which house he in.
• 42:25
  Speaker 2: I just think that's just mom and dad, right, and
• 42:28
  Speaker 2: it's good.
• 42:28
  Speaker 8: It's the house is going to.
• 42:30
  Speaker 2: Do a child. A child is going to do what
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: they do with their mom, and they gonna do what
• 42:36
  Speaker 2: they do with their dad. But father's not not you, Jessica.
• 42:40
  Speaker 2: So I'm speaking general when I'm saying this, but as
• 42:42
  Speaker 2: father's we always you go with your mom. Need to
• 42:45
  Speaker 2: do this, respect your marvel. I tell my son Christian
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: had to take that trash out. You are too in mind.
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: You and I don't even have to text hell when
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: it comes to him and him to deprogram to brief
• 42:57
  Speaker 2: about what Ashley are the best things of him. If
• 42:59
  Speaker 2: we need mom and she coming other than that, she
• 43:02
  Speaker 2: stay ass all out business and that's that. But like
• 43:05
  Speaker 2: it's it's it's never right man. The weekend is fun. Man,
• 43:10
  Speaker 2: Like I understand as a child, man you're going to
• 43:13
  Speaker 2: school my son got. My son got a full point two.
• 43:15
  Speaker 2: That's hard maintain in the life. He living full point two,
• 43:21
  Speaker 2: like my son has never made honorall. It's principal's honorable, principal's.
• 43:25
  Speaker 8: List, the principal's list.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and get it honest. You know it's dad, it's
• 43:29
  Speaker 2: you know, the man that is. I graduated saludatoria eighth
• 43:32
  Speaker 2: grade at the ninety nine average September cent at Unbell
• 43:35
  Speaker 2: High School at ranking number seven, and I graduated with
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: three point five from college. It's it's distance stone that
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: my son gets. His brain's not saying his mother is
• 43:45
  Speaker 2: not smart.
• 43:45
  Speaker 6: I graduated the three point nine from a college preparatory
• 43:48
  Speaker 6: school and Yellstown Pensylvania Place.
• 43:50
  Speaker 8: Don't talk that too, don't play with me.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: I ranked number seven Toptember cent. Only people that beat
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: me was all nerds.
• 43:58
  Speaker 5: What was what was the most difficult thing when it
• 44:01
  Speaker 5: came to ash Like, what was the one thing that
• 44:03
  Speaker 5: your guys kept bumping heads or y'all couldn't agree on
• 44:06
  Speaker 5: when it came to co parenting.
• 44:08
  Speaker 8: I want to go first.
• 44:10
  Speaker 6: When he was younger, you wouldn't send back the clothes
• 44:15
  Speaker 6: that I bought When I was sending him with you,
• 44:18
  Speaker 6: and you would go on Instagram. You would post it like, yeah,
• 44:20
  Speaker 6: I got myself, I took you, I bought it.
• 44:23
  Speaker 8: What do you mean?
• 44:24
  Speaker 2: I never took your clothes? Always had his own wardrobe
• 44:26
  Speaker 2: with me.
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: Bro.
• 44:28
  Speaker 8: That was when he got a little older.
• 44:30
  Speaker 6: That's what we made about him, Like, YO, send back
• 44:32
  Speaker 6: to that, Yes, send back the bag, I said earlier,
• 44:36
  Speaker 6: send back the bed.
• 44:39
  Speaker 7: I be Russian.
• 44:40
  Speaker 8: He kept the clothes.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: I washed him, fold him or put him in the cleanest.
• 44:44
  Speaker 8: Okay, kline, But I'm saying.
• 44:47
  Speaker 7: It's still my stuff that you got.
• 44:52
  Speaker 2: It's his stuff. And you didn't send a bag every
• 44:56
  Speaker 2: week because if I if I kept something that you sent,
• 44:58
  Speaker 2: you ain't need to send it the follow one week
• 45:00
  Speaker 2: and then another. How many how many times every pair
• 45:04
  Speaker 2: attendance I bought him? I bought him two pairs, one
• 45:06
  Speaker 2: for you, one for me. Okay, I mean, I mean
• 45:09
  Speaker 2: Gucci belts. You don't lost?
• 45:11
  Speaker 8: Well, why are you buying a kid?
• 45:12
  Speaker 2: How many?
• 45:13
  Speaker 8: How many like designers that young? I will grow out
• 45:16
  Speaker 8: of it.
• 45:18
  Speaker 2: That's just been me. Okay, I'm sorry. That was my
• 45:21
  Speaker 2: mother logic. I felt like that logic was a great life.
• 45:24
  Speaker 8: That's how you grew up.
• 45:25
  Speaker 7: Yep, he would always he was in designer at a
• 45:27
  Speaker 7: very young age.
• 45:28
  Speaker 8: That's not my damn fast.
• 45:33
  Speaker 7: Well yeah, it didn't matter, and I was hating a
• 45:37
  Speaker 7: little bit.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: But so what like, no, like you got your kids designing,
• 45:41
  Speaker 1: I mean.
• 45:41
  Speaker 8: Because I was out here in TJ Max.
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: But that's you. You You were moving different.
• 45:49
  Speaker 4: Either one of you have a reflection that made you
• 45:51
  Speaker 4: see a situation differently now that you're old.
• 45:54
  Speaker 8: Hm hmm.
• 45:55
  Speaker 6: You go first, Well, I feel like I feel like
• 46:00
  Speaker 6: I've been seeing things different for a while since Ash
• 46:04
  Speaker 6: was like five, you know what I mean. I feel like,
• 46:06
  Speaker 6: once we got past our feelings, I always saw you
• 46:08
  Speaker 6: in a different light. Like I always was like, Okay,
• 46:10
  Speaker 6: this will be, this is gonna be my friend. I
• 46:13
  Speaker 6: feel like nobody else got this young man any help.
• 46:16
  Speaker 6: Nobody ever, you know, try to guide him, you know, properly.
• 46:21
  Speaker 6: Even when you came into like your ex settlement, you
• 46:23
  Speaker 6: was getting money, you was out here. You feel me,
• 46:25
  Speaker 6: I felt like nobody was trying to help you in
• 46:28
  Speaker 6: any way.
• 46:29
  Speaker 2: You want to hear that to finish, but I won't
• 46:32
  Speaker 2: speak on that because that's a big part in the
• 46:35
  Speaker 2: woman eyes and stuff like that too. Finish, you know.
• 46:38
  Speaker 6: So, yeah, that's that's how I felt. I've always was
• 46:40
  Speaker 6: able to give grace and see and see the bigger picture, like, yeah,
• 46:44
  Speaker 6: this this is my friend, and I honestly feel going
• 46:46
  Speaker 6: back to the question that Charlamanne asks you when I
• 46:48
  Speaker 6: first walked in, if we didn't have Ashton, I know
• 46:52
  Speaker 6: we would not be together because that wasn't our story.
• 46:55
  Speaker 8: But we would be friends. You know, we will be
• 46:59
  Speaker 8: best and.
• 47:00
  Speaker 6: Still you know, so I do feel that way. But yeah,
• 47:03
  Speaker 6: I've always been reflecting.
• 47:04
  Speaker 8: What what were you gonna say?
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: I agree on that I do cause m your mother
• 47:10
  Speaker 2: hold all my stuff.
• 47:12
  Speaker 8: It always goes back to my mom.
• 47:13
  Speaker 1: What's the good that I've done?
• 47:15
  Speaker 2: You know, I'm just saying your mother plays a big part.
• 47:17
  Speaker 2: I just wish more women had mothers like you.
• 47:19
  Speaker 1: Mm.
• 47:20
  Speaker 4: What Roman is saying is true, cause it's always It
• 47:22
  Speaker 4: can always be a mother putting a negative battery in
• 47:24
  Speaker 4: a woman's backs.
• 47:26
  Speaker 2: Or or she just ain't care for the child. You
• 47:28
  Speaker 2: just like your mother?
• 47:29
  Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean, but yes, it seemed like she feel
• 47:32
  Speaker 5: like you. You give a lot of profits to kudos
• 47:34
  Speaker 5: to her mom.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: But because she's great, No, I give kudos to both.
• 47:38
  Speaker 2: But as children. We speaking, we speaking right now, we
• 47:40
  Speaker 2: speaking on them. Then we was kids. I didn't have that.
• 47:45
  Speaker 2: I didn't have nobody to show me or teach me
• 47:47
  Speaker 2: how to be a father. It ain't no rule. But
• 47:49
  Speaker 2: got to figure that shit out my own. You you
• 47:52
  Speaker 2: know how I feel to go to college and you
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: got your son in your left hand and you gotta
• 47:55
  Speaker 2: do work.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: No, I don't know what I feel.
• 47:58
  Speaker 2: Look, yeah, that's why I bought it ash and the
• 48:00
  Speaker 2: iPad at that young age, and beats don't nobody know
• 48:04
  Speaker 2: the hard work that I put in. And then for
• 48:07
  Speaker 2: the other children of mine, I do the same. So,
• 48:09
  Speaker 2: like I said, when you let her father be a father,
• 48:14
  Speaker 2: you're gonna see you. You're gonna see the finishing product
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: of it. Like I shouldn't have to fight my child
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: mint and take care of my kid. I helped you
• 48:22
  Speaker 2: make them right or her right? Why is it you
• 48:26
  Speaker 2: you shut the fuck up when oh here here, here, here, here,
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: here here, No, because you know, like I know, I
• 48:33
  Speaker 2: just had my boys at the market the other day.
• 48:35
  Speaker 2: We was having a moving night. We was on the
• 48:37
  Speaker 2: h the cart I took. You know, I'm a big kid,
• 48:40
  Speaker 2: especially when I'm babies around me. Man, my NX kid
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: come out. I'm on the cart I rolled from the
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: top with the mark of that all the way down
• 48:47
  Speaker 2: on the cart where Brice and Improves boys had the
• 48:49
  Speaker 2: best time of life. It's little things like that. My
• 48:51
  Speaker 2: money can't buy that. Yeah, so it'd be like, damn
• 48:55
  Speaker 2: if you do, damn if you don't.
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: He's talking about the other baby mother's right now.
• 48:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm talking about this period don't have so I
• 49:04
  Speaker 2: don't call that's my sister. So you know we you know,
• 49:08
  Speaker 2: we clear on that. So like the world. No, when
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: I'm talking, I ain't talking about her. She's excluded. She's actually, yeah,
• 49:13
  Speaker 2: she's excluded.
• 49:15
  Speaker 1: Just got a baby from her brother.
• 49:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 49:23
  Speaker 3: It was about to say something about the settlement.
• 49:25
  Speaker 2: He was like, you get sold the settlement. Honestly, man,
• 49:27
  Speaker 2: the settlement, the settlement.
• 49:29
  Speaker 8: Really nobody taught you to invest or any of that investing.
• 49:33
  Speaker 2: I'm a hurt young man and I already got alla
• 49:38
  Speaker 2: got a little style, nice teeth. I ain't bodies teeth,
• 49:41
  Speaker 2: so you know, whatever the case may be. When that
• 49:43
  Speaker 2: money came, oh, I can get women to do whatever
• 49:46
  Speaker 2: the fun I want them to do.
• 49:49
  Speaker 8: But why was that the goal?
• 49:50
  Speaker 2: That was a goal? Because it made me feel better.
• 49:53
  Speaker 2: It blocked all the pain and hurt that I had mother,
• 49:57
  Speaker 2: the mother one. It blocked all that out. So you know,
• 50:01
  Speaker 2: at that time we talked about that nigga and went broken.
• 50:04
  Speaker 2: Had to really sit down and really, you know why
• 50:08
  Speaker 2: you want that? Okay, okay, cool, But looking back at yeah,
• 50:13
  Speaker 2: fucked up. That wasn't a way to go because all
• 50:17
  Speaker 2: you're doing is creating something that cost and it's going
• 50:21
  Speaker 2: to cost you over time, and you got to maintain
• 50:23
  Speaker 2: to be able to afford that cost. If not where
• 50:26
  Speaker 2: they're going out the door. So I created a problem
• 50:30
  Speaker 2: for myself and that's where I went to press that
• 50:32
  Speaker 2: a long time ago as well, trying to maintain a
• 50:36
  Speaker 2: lifestyle that I really couldn't keep up with because of
• 50:42
  Speaker 2: I have more children.
• 50:43
  Speaker 1: M I loved it.
• 50:45
  Speaker 4: Yourself away of it though, because like a lot of
• 50:47
  Speaker 4: people have the mother wound and don't even know that
• 50:49
  Speaker 4: they're turning to external things to self south like the alcohol,
• 50:53
  Speaker 4: the sex with the other women, Like they don't even
• 50:56
  Speaker 4: realize I'm only doing this because I'm.
• 50:58
  Speaker 2: Actually hurt And it's no dis my lady now, but
• 51:01
  Speaker 2: like it was, it was in no disrespect to my
• 51:04
  Speaker 2: child mom. I was fucking but it was a time
• 51:09
  Speaker 2: I went on a ramp page. I felt like one
• 51:11
  Speaker 2: of the athletes type niggas. And it's not I'm not
• 51:16
  Speaker 2: it's not good. I'm not ashamed of it. I'm not
• 51:18
  Speaker 2: glorifying it.
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: But that ship.
• 51:23
  Speaker 2: I don't know if other men feel like that, but
• 51:26
  Speaker 2: it was a different woman every day for probably two months.
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: Didn't kid about then't know their names, didn't nothing.
• 51:32
  Speaker 1: Sometimes you gotta let let a legend.
• 51:35
  Speaker 2: And and it's like because like, well like people don't
• 51:38
  Speaker 2: understand people. They judge you so much, but people don't understand. So,
• 51:43
  Speaker 2: like I said, and I do.
• 51:45
  Speaker 8: Feel like he has well talk to you.
• 51:47
  Speaker 6: I do feel like you have issues with your other
• 51:53
  Speaker 6: co parents, the other moms of your children, because never
• 51:56
  Speaker 6: got past all the hurt that y'all that you know
• 51:59
  Speaker 6: that that they it indor the relationship never got past
• 52:02
  Speaker 6: y y'all, y'all never sat down.
• 52:05
  Speaker 8: Okay, so we never sat down with you, Yes we
• 52:08
  Speaker 8: sat down after the fact.
• 52:10
  Speaker 2: Well, yes, yes we already been. Don't put on you
• 52:14
  Speaker 2: on them, No, I'm over everything over them, Okay. They
• 52:18
  Speaker 2: don't want to and honestly I can't figure it out.
• 52:21
  Speaker 2: And I'm done trying to figure it out. That's why
• 52:22
  Speaker 2: I lost hair. I'm done. But no, no, I'm one
• 52:28
  Speaker 2: for five. I'm good.
• 52:29
  Speaker 6: No, I know, I understand, but I was just saying,
• 52:32
  Speaker 6: that's why it's not a healthy co parenting team there,
• 52:37
  Speaker 6: because y'all didn't get through the issues. Y'all never really
• 52:40
  Speaker 6: sat down and had those uncomfortable conversations and got the
• 52:43
  Speaker 6: closure on the relationship side to move forward on.
• 52:46
  Speaker 8: The co parents' side. That y'all never did what we did.
• 52:49
  Speaker 6: You know what I mean, we were we were already
• 52:51
  Speaker 6: past each other once we sat down and talked. But
• 52:54
  Speaker 6: y'all were always just bickering every relationship after you know,
• 52:57
  Speaker 6: you and I when you had a kid, it was
• 52:59
  Speaker 6: just a bunch of bickering.
• 53:01
  Speaker 7: And now that you're here saying that, yes, I was.
• 53:03
  Speaker 8: Hurt, I was hurt.
• 53:03
  Speaker 4: I was hurt.
• 53:04
  Speaker 6: They didn't understand that. They didn't understand that, you know,
• 53:09
  Speaker 6: and you got bitter baby moms. Like I say in
• 53:12
  Speaker 6: the book, it's okay to be better, just don't stay there.
• 53:14
  Speaker 6: But you kept them there because you kept going back
• 53:16
  Speaker 6: dealing with this one, that you dealing with that when
• 53:18
  Speaker 6: you never closed the door with this one.
• 53:19
  Speaker 8: And that you dealing with this when this one.
• 53:20
  Speaker 2: Got about it, and I keep going back? And why
• 53:22
  Speaker 2: did I keep going back and going back because it
• 53:24
  Speaker 2: was convenient? Why did I keep going back and going back?
• 53:28
  Speaker 2: Was because that was the only way that I can
• 53:30
  Speaker 2: get my child. I went back three times to two
• 53:35
  Speaker 2: different women. I do really why because that was the
• 53:38
  Speaker 2: only way that they will be out of their feelings
• 53:40
  Speaker 2: and I can see my child. I remember that, and
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna speak on my last child mom. We will
• 53:45
  Speaker 2: never be like you, but were moving in that direction, Charlatne.
• 53:48
  Speaker 2: We talked about it earlier. You said why did you
• 53:50
  Speaker 2: move back from South Carolina? And I stayed it at
• 53:53
  Speaker 2: that time and my last child Mom, we wasn't seeing
• 53:56
  Speaker 2: an eye, We wasn't talking. I couldn't even face time.
• 54:00
  Speaker 2: And then it wasn't until I brought the kids back
• 54:02
  Speaker 2: up here for school before it hit me that, damn,
• 54:05
  Speaker 2: I'm just down here by myself. I don't know how
• 54:08
  Speaker 2: to function without just going to work. Might get some
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: free time on myself and get my kids. I don't
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: know how to function like that. So I try to
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: do everything I could with them for them to wanting
• 54:19
  Speaker 2: to half months before they were at school, but prosper
• 54:21
  Speaker 2: I wasn't talking to prop but I couldn't see Prized,
• 54:23
  Speaker 2: but I couldn't FaceTime, so I'm in back in my mind,
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: I'm like, damn, he said.
• 54:26
  Speaker 8: He a baby?
• 54:27
  Speaker 4: Is he?
• 54:29
  Speaker 2: Did he even know me?
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: It's crazy you said that?
• 54:31
  Speaker 2: Do you even know me?
• 54:32
  Speaker 8: Like dang?
• 54:32
  Speaker 2: Is he? I don't know? And and that hurt it.
• 54:35
  Speaker 2: So no, my uncle tough love. And I'm glad that
• 54:38
  Speaker 2: I had my uncle around here, like, man, suck that
• 54:39
  Speaker 2: shit up, you'll be odd. So that kept going. My
• 54:44
  Speaker 2: son mom get diagnosed with breast cats.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: Mm hmm.
• 54:48
  Speaker 2: Sat on it for like two weeks if I was
• 54:49
  Speaker 2: wanting to move back or not, because I felt like
• 54:51
  Speaker 2: and she said no, she had moved on, she had
• 54:53
  Speaker 2: a friend, or whatever the case may be. But I
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: wasn't moving back for that. I was moving back because
• 54:59
  Speaker 2: I wanted to be closer to my son, and I
• 55:01
  Speaker 2: felt like she needed me more to be there physically
• 55:04
  Speaker 2: for my son because of the transition that was about
• 55:06
  Speaker 2: to happen.
• 55:06
  Speaker 8: Because imagine what she's going there, and.
• 55:08
  Speaker 2: That transition is all chemo radiation. Yes, and she decided
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: to take that route instead of going I know some
• 55:15
  Speaker 2: people that went to.
• 55:16
  Speaker 6: The natural holistic route, and Prosper was a baby. He
• 55:21
  Speaker 6: was young, so that was a lot of pressure on her,
• 55:24
  Speaker 6: you know what I mean. So, yeah, although she has family,
• 55:26
  Speaker 6: they're not always there for her. She has to do
• 55:28
  Speaker 6: a lot by herself too, you know, she has another kids.
• 55:32
  Speaker 2: And then they say when you know, when she explained
• 55:34
  Speaker 2: that to me, when you're going through that, you need
• 55:36
  Speaker 2: as much support as you can. Yes, So no, I
• 55:38
  Speaker 2: didn't think, oh no, I'm gonna be with this woman. No,
• 55:41
  Speaker 2: I said this woman need me. Yes, you do have
• 55:43
  Speaker 2: another child as well, but I say, this woman needs me,
• 55:46
  Speaker 2: and I moved back. Uh, I got to see my
• 55:50
  Speaker 2: son and that was history. And now we, like I said, so,
• 55:54
  Speaker 2: I'm saying, I don't have another co porta with all
• 55:57
  Speaker 2: but my last one. And they the twins actual looked
• 56:00
  Speaker 2: just alike. Yeah, so I got a coke parenting with
• 56:03
  Speaker 2: her and yeah, but I feel like if she didn't,
• 56:08
  Speaker 2: which wasn't diagnosed, I might have not moved back so fast.
• 56:13
  Speaker 2: But yeah, that was that was one thing and I'm
• 56:15
  Speaker 2: dealing with that now. Of course, you know always heard
• 56:17
  Speaker 2: about that because I projected my once again, I projected
• 56:21
  Speaker 2: another my trauma on my son as well. I'm like,
• 56:24
  Speaker 2: I don't want baby to be without his mother. That's
• 56:26
  Speaker 2: all I'm thinking about. Like, I don't want that phone
• 56:28
  Speaker 2: call and I'm not there.
• 56:30
  Speaker 6: Right, That's what I wanted you to say. I don't
• 56:31
  Speaker 6: want to say I want him to use his mom.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but she she healthy now and she needed she's
• 56:39
  Speaker 2: doing she's in a gym, she's fit, high spirit, still
• 56:45
  Speaker 2: changing her dreams. But yeah, what's prospers? You know you're
• 56:48
  Speaker 2: about to turn for June. Yeah, but it's two for five.
• 56:53
  Speaker 2: I don't mean to keep saying one.
• 56:54
  Speaker 6: It's too for I do see it being five for
• 56:57
  Speaker 6: five with with like this negative this book. No, seriously
• 57:02
  Speaker 6: is the space that y'all in right now? I understand,
• 57:04
  Speaker 6: but I do see it being that way.
• 57:07
  Speaker 2: Ho, I'm cutting you off. No pross for three? Yeah,
• 57:11
  Speaker 2: and mother ones is no props for three And it
• 57:14
  Speaker 2: happened and mother ones is no seven.
• 57:21
  Speaker 8: No, I'm not gonna hate each other, trust me.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: Check this out.
• 57:26
  Speaker 4: M hm.
• 57:26
  Speaker 2: I just want to take care of my kids. I
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: don't care if you hate me, and you don't, I
• 57:29
  Speaker 2: got it. Hey, everybody wanna be like you. Everybody ain't
• 57:33
  Speaker 2: coming to save me. Mm hmm. Everybody don't care about
• 57:37
  Speaker 2: if I'm happy or not, because when I'm happy, everybody
• 57:40
  Speaker 2: around me happy. So I get it. But I don't
• 57:45
  Speaker 2: think like that no more because that burns me up
• 57:46
  Speaker 2: and eats me up. It's nice where you know, whatever
• 57:50
  Speaker 2: the case may be. But no, I take my first
• 57:52
  Speaker 2: and last, and I'm good with that. When mother ones
• 57:55
  Speaker 2: start to be mature, Oh here, take your kid, don't just.
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I get what both of y'all saying. I get
• 58:01
  Speaker 1: what just saying.
• 58:02
  Speaker 4: I get what you were saying, just as like, you know,
• 58:04
  Speaker 4: this book should show you that healing is possible because
• 58:07
  Speaker 4: y'all weren't always in the best.
• 58:09
  Speaker 2: But we ain't never been like this. I never not
• 58:12
  Speaker 2: seen my kid. I don't give a fuck about not
• 58:15
  Speaker 2: having a relationship with the woman. I don't beat my kid. Yeah,
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: give me my kid. That's all I got. But if
• 58:22
  Speaker 2: you you're using that against me, obviously it's something you
• 58:25
  Speaker 2: that ain't right. You're a fucked up person, right.
• 58:27
  Speaker 6: But at one, at some point y'all loved each other. Yeah,
• 58:31
  Speaker 6: I know, I'm saying. It's still it's still existed, you know,
• 58:34
  Speaker 6: So if you can, if you're not, I'm not saying,
• 58:36
  Speaker 6: get back to that place. But at one point, if
• 58:38
  Speaker 6: there was a point where you did love a person,
• 58:40
  Speaker 6: then you can actually see the good in them, you
• 58:43
  Speaker 6: know what I mean, to try to start to mend
• 58:45
  Speaker 6: that and that that that just starts with confronting the
• 58:48
  Speaker 6: things that eat you up about that person. That's all
• 58:51
  Speaker 6: it is, is just an uncomfortable conversation. But I'm gonna
• 58:54
  Speaker 6: get you robbed up no more. There is one thing
• 58:55
  Speaker 6: before we end it is well with one thing.
• 58:58
  Speaker 2: I know. I wondered because because this is the topic
• 59:04
  Speaker 2: that now the world is talking about it, I wan't
• 59:06
  Speaker 2: talking about it before.
• 59:07
  Speaker 7: But you know, I mean, we we've been doing this
• 59:09
  Speaker 7: since the pandemic.
• 59:10
  Speaker 2: I think that the funny part about it is because
• 59:11
  Speaker 2: even right now I'm talking and I'm going through the ship, like, yeah,
• 59:15
  Speaker 2: I moved back a year and a half ago, seeing
• 59:19
  Speaker 2: my nine year old daughter twice. Right, I came back twice.
• 59:23
  Speaker 2: My mother text called me that probably eleven o'clock three
• 59:27
  Speaker 2: four last week night. You called him this sleep for
• 59:30
  Speaker 2: I missed it because I was sleeping. Next morning, what up,
• 59:34
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to have a conversation about our daughter. Are
• 59:36
  Speaker 2: you free? I said? What I said? What would the
• 59:39
  Speaker 2: conversation be about other than her? You went missing? I didn't?
• 59:44
  Speaker 2: I did? I own it?
• 59:47
  Speaker 8: Mm hmm.
• 59:49
  Speaker 2: So here's a father trying to be a father. Guess
• 59:51
  Speaker 2: what I said? Hey, she like in a call, I'm
• 59:54
  Speaker 2: like ashing Bryce in the price for sleep. Talk to
• 59:57
  Speaker 2: you tomorrow. I can eat you tomorrow. At that dropped
• 1:00:01
  Speaker 2: them off to school.
• 1:00:04
  Speaker 8: And that's it.
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 2: Did you did you went missing again?
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 1: Hmm?
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 2: Okay, text? Hey free? Hey, So what's like? But she'll
• 1:00:14
  Speaker 2: call me a dead beat? See what I'm going at
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 2: with it. I'm not bashing her. She's a great mom,
• 1:00:21
  Speaker 2: all of them. She'll call me all of them all. Ye,
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: I would never take that. I got a nice line
• 1:00:25
  Speaker 2: up for the great moms. So with without me, I
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 2: think my kids, you know, besides of trauma, whatever can
• 1:00:31
  Speaker 2: they have been, they have been taken care of well.
• 1:00:33
  Speaker 2: But but you see the type of things that fathers
• 1:00:36
  Speaker 2: that actually care. I know some niggas that just don't
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: give a fuck.
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 5: Mm hmmm.
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: Hey, I'm free, I want to meet up go missing again? Yeah?
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 1: What I want to know is why I haven't just
• 1:00:49
  Speaker 1: en through a copy of the book.
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 8: They just came out of the book. I'm gonna get.
• 1:01:00
  Speaker 2: To be honest, bro, I don't think you can read
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 2: Oh my god, what do you mean. I don't think
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 2: they'll read it.
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 8: You don't think that.
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 2: We might want Yeah, I've already read the book.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 8: Amazing, thank you.
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 2: We was in court, yeah, the whole thing.
• 1:01:20
  Speaker 8: But that's good. That's the one that you were on
• 1:01:22
  Speaker 8: good terms with it like that.
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: Yep.
• 1:01:24
  Speaker 2: And it's like it's like it's one of those things
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 2: man for men. I'm protecting my mental It is what
• 1:01:30
  Speaker 2: it is. It ain't what it ain't. I'm a control
• 1:01:34
  Speaker 2: If I can't control, only control what you can control.
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 2: Mm hmm. That's my logic. It is what it is.
• 1:01:40
  Speaker 2: And when you and when you go by that on
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: a man or your peace part, things be, it just
• 1:01:46
  Speaker 2: comes to you. It'd be easy. So, like I said,
• 1:01:48
  Speaker 2: if it happens, it happens, but I'm not expecting it
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 2: to because because if it don't, I won't be hurt again.
• 1:01:54
  Speaker 2: I look so forward to death.
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: Do we parent too?
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 2: That you're writing and see that's what it is.
• 1:02:01
  Speaker 1: Uh.
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna say it. Don't want you to steal
• 1:02:04
  Speaker 2: my ship nobody yet, but you have to be parent part.
• 1:02:09
  Speaker 1: What is it you.
• 1:02:11
  Speaker 2: To you know it's too you have to be parent
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 2: part to let her father be your father.
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 8: Yeah, I love it and I love you too, y,
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 8: I really do.
• 1:02:24
  Speaker 3: The book is out right now.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 1: Make sure you get my guy room, sending room, healing
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 1: energy all the time.
• 1:02:30
  Speaker 2: Eight fellas, protect your peace.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 1: Man.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 3: All right, it's the Breakfast Club. It's big room, little one, It's.
• 1:02:36
  Speaker 7: The Breakfast Morning and just god damn okay.
• 1:02:45
  Speaker 3: Sometimes sometimes no, that was yo.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: Every day I waiting click yours up the Breakfast Club.
• 1:02:55
  Speaker 2: You don't finish for y'all done