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Ohhhhh...Are you E-N-M? · Armstrong & Getty One More Thing

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Ooh, are you E and M. I don't know. It's
• 0:03
  Speaker 1: one more thing, I'm strong andy, one more.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Oh wow, I have no idea where this is going E, NM,
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: you say, I'd say on your bumble dating profile thingy
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: the dating website.
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: Ten percent at least our E and M lists themselves
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: as E and M. We'll get to that in a second. First,
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: I wanted to hear the thing about the ghosting and
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: that trend in dating. Can we hear that?
• 0:37
  Speaker 3: Michael, you're dating somebody, you're talking, you haven't defined anything,
• 0:41
  Speaker 3: everything's going well. They text you good morning, you know,
• 0:43
  Speaker 3: you're feeling good about it, and then all of a
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: sudden they disappear. There's no explanation, there's no why, just crickets.
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: And then some time passes and they pop.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Back up again.
• 0:52
  Speaker 3: And here's the catch. They act like nothing happened. They
• 0:54
  Speaker 3: don't acknowledge the absence. They don't say, hey, sorry, I
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: had a couple of days that we're really busy at work.
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: It's just like, hey, what's up? What are you doing?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: That's called ghost lighting, So I guess it's a combination
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: of ghosting and gas lighting. No, it's not.
• 1:09
  Speaker 4: Had someone do that to me? And he was a narcissist.
• 1:13
  Speaker 1: That was about it. So you disappear and then you
• 1:17
  Speaker 1: come back as if you didn't disappear.
• 1:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah, just expecting everything was going to be just fine,
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: and it's not.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: I think I've done that with people. Not on purpose, though,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: but it is a good indication that you're not quite
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: as into it as they were hoping.
• 1:33
  Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm torn between conflicting impulses, admiring the
• 1:42
  Speaker 5: cleverness of the term ghost lighting while despising internet trends
• 1:48
  Speaker 5: in general.
• 1:48
  Speaker 1: I'm say, who are you?
• 1:51
  Speaker 5: Who?
• 1:52
  Speaker 1: Is awful? Yeah?
• 1:53
  Speaker 5: It just does again as a word smith, I appreciate
• 1:56
  Speaker 5: the trickery there. Uh yeah, I mentioned this tour. The
• 2:00
  Speaker 5: show could paid off now, China maxing is the hottest
• 2:03
  Speaker 5: new online trend. Here's a question for you. And I'm
• 2:07
  Speaker 5: not even gonna get into that. I don't want to
• 2:08
  Speaker 5: dignify it.
• 2:09
  Speaker 1: But well, we got to find out what E and
• 2:10
  Speaker 1: M means. So oh, I can't wait.
• 2:13
  Speaker 5: How much longer will people fall for the clickbait of
• 2:19
  Speaker 5: here's the hottest new trend online because it's always stupid.
• 2:24
  Speaker 5: It's five people who did something. It's not a trend.
• 2:26
  Speaker 5: It's the way human beings behave. I think that's got
• 2:29
  Speaker 5: maybe three four more months in it. Then nobody will
• 2:31
  Speaker 5: click on that stuff.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Well, this particular article I hold in my hand is
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: trying to claim that open relationships are on the rise
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: in the United States, and I know, I don't know
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: if it's actually true or not. All kinds of online
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: surveyed data stuff the States gear it's most likely to
• 2:47
  Speaker 1: have an open relationship Texas, California, Florida, Georgia, New York. Okay,
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: maybe maybe not. I don't know, but it does have
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: a couple of things in here that I'm aware of
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: their existence, though I don't participate myself. Terms that I
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: don't know what polyfidelity is that one I actually don't know.
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: But em yes.
• 3:09
  Speaker 5: It means you got like two lovers and you're faithful
• 3:12
  Speaker 5: to the two of them.
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: Well, the why is that difference than E and M,
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: Because that's what E and M is ethical non monogamy.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: And I've seen that listed lots of places. I had
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: to look that up and then I'm a no, I
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: don't quite get the thing there.
• 3:27
  Speaker 5: I've read about it. You come to an agreement about
• 3:29
  Speaker 5: what the parameters are. They're non monogamous, but you like, say, hey,
• 3:35
  Speaker 5: I'm thinking of sleeping with the barrista down the street,
• 3:38
  Speaker 5: and you let each other know or whatever.
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Ethical non monogamy is where three or more people
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: in a closed group agree to exclusively have sex with
• 3:46
  Speaker 1: one of another. It's just the three of us or
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: the four of us, or whatever number you come up with,
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: and then you're honest about it, which differentiates it from
• 3:58
  Speaker 1: cheating or infidelity or whatever. I don't know, I don't I.
• 4:05
  Speaker 4: Don't have either. Have you ever been propositioned into this ever?
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: Ah, my neighbor many many, many many years ago, gladys,
• 4:15
  Speaker 1: I mean it was a long time ago.
• 4:16
  Speaker 6: Okay.
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: My neighbor asked my wife when they were both drunk,
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: if we wanted to bring him into our relationship, which
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: we both howled in laughter at the idea of DNM.
• 4:34
  Speaker 5: Drunk non monogamy.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: Just seemed ridiculous on for a number of reasons. But
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: that's as far as I go. Yes, Katie, you're a young,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: attractive woman. I could see how this would be.
• 4:47
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 4:47
  Speaker 6: I was at some well, this this is my first mistake.
• 4:51
  Speaker 6: I met some bartender at a club in San Francisco.
• 4:56
  Speaker 6: But we were talking a majority of the night and
• 5:00
  Speaker 6: even took a picture together.
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: Blah blah.
• 5:01
  Speaker 6: Anyway, the next day he sends me a text message
• 5:03
  Speaker 6: and it said something along the lines of, hey, I
• 5:06
  Speaker 6: showed my fiance our photo and she would really like
• 5:11
  Speaker 6: it if you would come over and join us. And
• 5:15
  Speaker 6: this was I mean fifteen years ago or so, so
• 5:19
  Speaker 6: this was kind of before all this stuff came onto
• 5:21
  Speaker 6: the internet, and it freaked me the hell out.
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: Yeah, well, so how.
• 5:27
  Speaker 4: Was It's very good?
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: Yeah?
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: I said, uh no, thanks, you know.
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: But that's the three of you together, that's a threesome.
• 5:38
  Speaker 6: Yeah.
• 5:38
  Speaker 4: They wanted me, Yeah, they wanted me to join their relationship.
• 5:42
  Speaker 1: My sense of the ethical non monogamy thing is that
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: the three of you aren't together in a bed ever,
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: it's just you pair off the three or four of
• 5:52
  Speaker 1: your how whatever the number is.
• 5:53
  Speaker 5: It's like you're in the same league exactly.
• 5:56
  Speaker 1: You're all in the NBA West right exactly, and you
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: each do your thing and you all know what's going
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: on and you're okay with it.
• 6:05
  Speaker 5: But no dore to circle and get diseases or complicate things, right.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I have no interest in that. Like zerolated, well,
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: I just emotionally, well, sexually, emotionally everything. It just it
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: doesn't appeal to me. I guess it appeals to some people.
• 6:22
  Speaker 5: Yeah, clearly it does. I'm not made that way either.
• 6:25
  Speaker 5: I admire it in a way because they're like, I'm
• 6:29
  Speaker 5: not monogamous, I don't plan to be, but I'm not
• 6:33
  Speaker 5: a liar and I know anybody's feelings.
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess that's I guess a step in the
• 6:39
  Speaker 1: right direction. But how do you avoid the anybody in
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: the group thinking, boy, you had a date with him
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: three times last week and you haven't had a date
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: with me in two weeks. Seems like you date him
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: more than you date me. I mean, how do you
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: not end up with that at some point in one
• 6:57
  Speaker 1: direction or the other. I think it's very that you
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: don't right right. I think I'm guessing in a lot
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: of these things. The most attractive person, male or female,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: often who can just pick and choose with who and
• 7:16
  Speaker 1: whenever they want. Feels like everybody is as comfortable with
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: it as they are. I'm kind of like setting the standard.
• 7:24
  Speaker 5: I've read a couple of long pieces of writing. I
• 7:27
  Speaker 5: can't remember if it was like The Free Press or
• 7:30
  Speaker 5: New York Times magazine or something I was in an
• 7:34
  Speaker 5: open relationship. I was fine with it and grew to
• 7:37
  Speaker 5: hate it. And I've come across a couple of things
• 7:40
  Speaker 5: like that.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Well, right, I mean, if you're both equally attractive and
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: have equal options, I suppose it possibly could work for
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: But if one of you is like, got all kinds
• 7:49
  Speaker 1: of options in the other one doesn't, or it's taking
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: advantage of all kinds of obe, I just wouldn't think
• 7:54
  Speaker 1: there'd be a chance of that. But I don't know.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: I've never done it, and I have no interest in
• 7:58
  Speaker 1: doing it. But I was surprised how often you see
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: E and M on people's profiles in the dating app
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: thing more than I mean, it's not like very rare.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: It's not. It's not the common. It's nothing close to
• 8:12
  Speaker 1: the majority. It's fairly common, probably mostly younger people. I
• 8:16
  Speaker 1: don't know. I don't actually know. Why did you bring
• 8:18
  Speaker 1: me this article, Michael, want to a trip to your
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: trigger about it? You seem to be really interested. Yeah,
• 8:23
  Speaker 1: and your you and your wife and your cats.
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: No, No, it's just it was put in front of
• 8:27
  Speaker 5: the hill. Yeah.
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: By the way, I do think my cats may be gay.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: I was going to ask that my next question do
• 8:33
  Speaker 4: we have that song for me?
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, no reason not to play that again.
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: That stupid song was in my head for it.
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: That's stupid.
• 8:42
  Speaker 5: It's an earworm. And you got to bring your cats
• 8:44
  Speaker 5: to the vet to make sure they don't get that.
• 8:46
  Speaker 5: I want to know if the game, if they are brothers.
• 8:51
  Speaker 4: I want to know if they if they are, do
• 8:56
  Speaker 4: I happy cats that.
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: My cats are gay? Gay cats?
• 9:05
  Speaker 4: They are gay?
• 9:06
  Speaker 5: Then that's okay?
• 9:07
  Speaker 4: Do you gay cats?
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: Gay cat?
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: The d gay cat?
• 9:15
  Speaker 5: It's so perfect?
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: Uh, maybe your cats are E and M. They want
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: to bring another kitten in or something?
• 9:24
  Speaker 5: Tom, Yeah, a kitten, No, that'd be sick.
• 9:27
  Speaker 1: I don't know what what if there are age limits
• 9:29
  Speaker 1: and cats, I don't know what the ethics are for
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: gage of consent now means me how you perfect cat pervert? Anyway? Well,
• 9:40
  Speaker 1: I guess that's it.