Latest / ChangeMakers with Katie Goar / Episode 118: Paige Lohoefer, Founder of The Birthday Party Project

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Episode 118: Paige Lohoefer, Founder of The Birthday Party Project · ChangeMakers with Katie Goar

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: This is change Makers with Katie Gore finding the right
• 0:09
  Speaker 1: solutions for the affordable housing community.
• 0:13
  Speaker 2: Today, I'm with Paige Lowhoffer, the founder of the Birthday
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: Party Project. Page has transformed from a successful wedding planner
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: to a founder of the Birthday Party Project, a nationwide
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: non profit that has brought joy to over seventy three
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: thousand children experiencing homelessness through unforgettable birthday celebrations. As a
• 0:36
  Speaker 2: passionate advocate for creating meaningful change, Page has now expanded
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: to twenty cities across to America, mobilizing thirty five thousand
• 0:46
  Speaker 2: volunteers to prove that joy can transform lives and build
• 0:52
  Speaker 2: stronger communities. Page Welcome to the podcast. Hey, thanks Katie.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: I am so thrilled to be with you today.
• 1:00
  Speaker 2: I am so happy to talk about this because it
• 1:03
  Speaker 2: is something from a different angle that we haven't ever
• 1:06
  Speaker 2: shared on change Makers. So let's get into this and
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: let's talk about first of all, your journey from planning
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: pretty much dream weddings to creating birthday magic for kids,
• 1:19
  Speaker 2: but not just any kids, kids experiencing homelessness.
• 1:24
  Speaker 3: So how did this all happen?
• 1:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 1:27
  Speaker 4: So, like you said, I had an event planning firm
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: and love to be a part of people's celebrations. I
• 1:35
  Speaker 4: do think that there's something really magical that happens when
• 1:38
  Speaker 4: people come together in a space for one purpose. And
• 1:42
  Speaker 4: for over a decade, I had the privilege of being
• 1:45
  Speaker 4: a part of people's most intimate celebrations, whether it was
• 1:49
  Speaker 4: a wedding or bar and mitzvah's big birthday parties, or
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: corporate events. And while I was planning events, I actually
• 1:59
  Speaker 4: was very very pregnant with my daughter, Lizzie on an
• 2:02
  Speaker 4: airplane reading a magazine article about kid's birthday parties. And
• 2:06
  Speaker 4: obviously I plan events for a living, so I'm going
• 2:09
  Speaker 4: to have great birthday parties for my kid, right So
• 2:13
  Speaker 4: here I am flipping through this magazine and dreaming about
• 2:16
  Speaker 4: all the ways that I would be able to celebrate her.
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: And this was before Pinterest and Instagram and anything else online.
• 2:24
  Speaker 4: I mean, let's take it all the way back, Katie. I'm,
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: you know, been doing this a while. So after that,
• 2:29
  Speaker 4: I actually put that magazine down and I picked up
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: another magazine and it was a Time magazine, and I
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: landed on an article that just struck me to my core.
• 2:40
  Speaker 4: You know, you flip open a magazine and you expect
• 2:42
  Speaker 4: to see all types of photos, but this one in
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  Speaker 4: particular will stay with me forever. And it was this
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  Speaker 4: black and white image of a little boy in Haiti,
• 2:53
  Speaker 4: and he had sunken eyes and bloated belly, and there's
• 2:57
  Speaker 4: like chaos and destruction in the background of this image,
• 3:00
  Speaker 4: but in the foreground was this image that this little
• 3:04
  Speaker 4: boy with just these beautiful cheeks, and he was staring
• 3:07
  Speaker 4: right at me, and all I could think in that
• 3:10
  Speaker 4: moment was what about him? I mean, here, I am
• 3:13
  Speaker 4: right dreaming about these big, beautiful, elaborate parties for my
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: very unborn child at the moment, and there are children
• 3:21
  Speaker 4: in the world that might never feel celebrated on their birthday.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: And so in that moment it really hit me.
• 3:28
  Speaker 4: It was like fire in my belly, like punching my gut,
• 3:31
  Speaker 4: like I can do something about this. I need to
• 3:34
  Speaker 4: do something about this. But what does that look like?
• 3:38
  Speaker 4: And you know, I'm in the middle of planning elaborate
• 3:42
  Speaker 4: events all over the world.
• 3:44
  Speaker 3: I had very.
• 3:45
  Speaker 4: Pregnant about to give birth to my child, and so
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: while I didn't think the time was right, then, I
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: knew that the time was coming. So you know, fast
• 3:55
  Speaker 4: forward a little bit. Now I have a toddler at
• 3:56
  Speaker 4: home and I'm still planning events. But in the back
• 3:59
  Speaker 4: of my mind, you can't shake that, you know that,
• 4:01
  Speaker 4: like that intuition, Katie, like that gut feeling right, it
• 4:04
  Speaker 4: just doesn't go away.
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: And for me, it sure didn't.
• 4:08
  Speaker 4: And when my daughter turned to you know, we had
• 4:11
  Speaker 4: this big cake in front of her, and her little
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: friends are around her, and everyone is like standing around
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: her and they say, you know, somebody says, make a wish,
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: make a wish as we're starting to blow out the candles,
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  Speaker 4: and at two years old, she knew to close her
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: eyes tightly and to blow out the candles. And that
• 4:30
  Speaker 4: was the moment for me, Katie, that I realized that
• 4:33
  Speaker 4: if I didn't act now like it was time, like,
• 4:36
  Speaker 4: if I didn't act now, I knew that I would
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  Speaker 4: regret it. So that was the moment that I decided
• 4:41
  Speaker 4: that it was time to decide how I could celebrate
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  Speaker 4: kids that needed to feel celebrated. And you know, going
• 4:49
  Speaker 4: to Haiti was not in the cards for me planning
• 4:52
  Speaker 4: weddings and raising a toddler, but I knew that there
• 4:55
  Speaker 4: were children in my backyard right down the street that
• 4:58
  Speaker 4: were worthy of a celebration, and so I decided to
• 5:03
  Speaker 4: go and start understanding what homelessness is and what it
• 5:07
  Speaker 4: isn't I think that you were you understand this, like
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  Speaker 4: there's there can often be stigmas associated with homelessness, right,
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  Speaker 4: like you know, bad choices, drug addiction, and and I
• 5:21
  Speaker 4: learned through you know, research that that is this simply
• 5:25
  Speaker 4: isn't always the case.
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  Speaker 2: You know.
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  Speaker 4: I got to understand that there are families that have
• 5:29
  Speaker 4: been pulled into homelessness based on affordable housing issues, based
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: on you know.
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  Speaker 3: Medical ailments that have taken them out of the.
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  Speaker 2: Ability to choose whether.
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: They were going to have a home or save lives.
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  Speaker 4: We got to understand what domestic violence looks like and
• 5:47
  Speaker 4: the shelters that you know, take care of the families
• 5:51
  Speaker 4: and the women who are fleeing. And through that, through
• 5:55
  Speaker 4: understanding what this looked like, I recognized that that was
• 5:59
  Speaker 4: the opportunity for us that we could go in and
• 6:02
  Speaker 4: infuse joy into circumstances that's truly were beyond a child's control.
• 6:08
  Speaker 4: And so that's how we started the Birthday Party project.
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  Speaker 2: Wow, what conviction. But then you acted on it and
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: really sparked a shift for you, your volunteers, the kids impacted.
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: How would you describe that deeper impact of celebrating a
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: child's birthday, Like what have you seen to be those
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: long term impacts on the child or the family and
• 6:34
  Speaker 2: then maybe even your volunteers kind of like paint that
• 6:37
  Speaker 2: picture for us.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Thanks.
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  Speaker 4: You know, in the beginning, I have to say that
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  Speaker 4: I walked into this as a as an event planner,
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  Speaker 4: Like I know how to plan a party, and that's
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: what we're going to do. I'm going to gather my
• 6:53
  Speaker 4: favorite friends around me and we are going to go
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  Speaker 4: to the agency, which was a shelter, we call them agencies.
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  Speaker 4: We're going to go to our agency and on the
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: third Thursday of every month, we're going to celebrate any
• 7:03
  Speaker 4: of the kids that have birthdays that month and will
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: and by everyone else that's staying at the party or
• 7:09
  Speaker 4: staying at the agency to participate.
• 7:11
  Speaker 2: In the party. And so for me, it felt like
• 7:15
  Speaker 2: a very.
• 7:17
  Speaker 4: Streamlined, efficient, beautiful process, right Like I was just excited
• 7:23
  Speaker 4: about that part. And then and then you get to
• 7:26
  Speaker 4: see a familiar face more than one at more than
• 7:30
  Speaker 4: one party. You know, there's a mom who will be
• 7:33
  Speaker 4: at an agency for multiple months, and you start to
• 7:37
  Speaker 4: establish a relationship with them and you know their names,
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  Speaker 4: and you understand their kids, and you get to see
• 7:42
  Speaker 4: their behaviors, and for me, I recognize that what we
• 7:46
  Speaker 4: were doing was obviously so much more than just the
• 7:50
  Speaker 4: birthday party, right, Like this was a chance for connection.
• 7:54
  Speaker 4: And once I recognized the impact that we could have
• 7:58
  Speaker 4: through these small connectictions, I started to get really intentional
• 8:02
  Speaker 4: about that. And some of the ways that I have
• 8:06
  Speaker 4: seen significant change or impact through these parties is sure
• 8:13
  Speaker 4: when kids will out a candle and then they open
• 8:15
  Speaker 4: their gifts, you know, there's often this like this moment
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  Speaker 4: of delight and excitement because kids are you know, tearing
• 8:22
  Speaker 4: through the birthday paper just to get to that gift
• 8:25
  Speaker 4: that they have, or the moms are in the back,
• 8:27
  Speaker 4: you know, filming their kids blowing out candles, like that's immediate, right.
• 8:31
  Speaker 4: You get to see the immediacy of that. And we've
• 8:36
  Speaker 4: had opportunities where we will celebrate with a family at
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: one agency, which we would say is like a it
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: is an emergency shelter, and then we see that mom
• 8:48
  Speaker 4: rise through it with such resilience through that program and
• 8:54
  Speaker 4: get into like a permanent support of housing program.
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  Speaker 3: Where we also were celebrating.
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  Speaker 4: Kids and when we get to see kids again on
• 9:02
  Speaker 4: the other side in a different environment. One time I
• 9:06
  Speaker 4: walked into a party and this girl ran up to
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  Speaker 4: me and said, you're the birthday lady.
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  Speaker 3: You're the birthday lady. And I thought, Hi, I'm Paige.
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: What's your name? And I'll never forget this.
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  Speaker 4: Her name was Kendre and she said, you celebrated my
• 9:18
  Speaker 4: birthday last year.
• 9:19
  Speaker 3: Are you going to celebrate it this year?
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  Speaker 4: And those moments for me, they add up, right, but
• 9:26
  Speaker 4: they create a mark. But there's other moments also, Katie.
• 9:30
  Speaker 4: One that I'm particularly proud of is and we speak
• 9:34
  Speaker 4: about her a lot. Her name is Francesca and when
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: she was fifteen, we celebrated her birthday at a place
• 9:39
  Speaker 4: called Family Gateway and downtown Dallas. And then her family
• 9:44
  Speaker 4: also moved to another agency and we got to celebrate
• 9:47
  Speaker 4: her sister's birthdays and one of her sisters got to
• 9:52
  Speaker 4: experience a petting zoo for the very first time in
• 9:54
  Speaker 4: her life. She was around live animals, right, and she
• 9:57
  Speaker 4: was young, I think she was ten at the time,
• 10:00
  Speaker 4: And from that moment, her sister said, I want to
• 10:03
  Speaker 4: be a veterinarian. Well, fast forward, right fast forward from
• 10:08
  Speaker 4: this moment of these moments of being, of celebrating her
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  Speaker 4: family members, and I had the privilege of speaking to
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  Speaker 4: a group here in Dallas. And after speaking to this group,
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  Speaker 4: a young, tall, beautiful girl approaches me and says, Miss Page,
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  Speaker 4: my name is Francesca, and when I was fifteen, you
• 10:32
  Speaker 4: celebrated my birthday and you celebrated my sister's.
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  Speaker 3: Birthday too, And I thought, you're kidding me.
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  Speaker 4: And she says, I'm the youngest ever intern here. And
• 10:44
  Speaker 4: she told me all about taking a bus two hours
• 10:48
  Speaker 4: to her internship and two hours home. That she was
• 10:51
  Speaker 4: working on her getting the best scores that she could
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  Speaker 4: to get into the best university that she could because
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: she wanted.
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  Speaker 3: To go to college.
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: And we started to develop this relationship that allowed me
• 11:05
  Speaker 4: to see the impact of our moments, not because we
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: changed the trajectory of her life, not necessarily. But what
• 11:12
  Speaker 4: I do know is we infused confidence in us world.
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  Speaker 4: We allowed them to feel, these girls to feel seen, right,
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  Speaker 4: And I think when we feel seen, there's this validation
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  Speaker 4: that comes with that, like my work is not done,
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  Speaker 4: there's somebody that believes in me.
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  Speaker 2: And Francesca will say to this day.
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  Speaker 4: That that is absolutely true of our relationship with the
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  Speaker 4: Birthday Party project.
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  Speaker 2: Well, that power of hope, that power of being seen,
• 11:42
  Speaker 2: and that power of confidence, and it's coming at a
• 11:46
  Speaker 2: time of real desperation and insecurity. So the intersection of
• 11:52
  Speaker 2: those two things, you know, that being able to give
• 11:55
  Speaker 2: them this glimpse of power at a time where they're
• 11:59
  Speaker 2: so desperate. What a unique way to turn their minds
• 12:07
  Speaker 2: to say, hold on, I can get out, hold On,
• 12:10
  Speaker 2: I feel seen, hold On, I have a glimpse of hope.
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: I mean that is all coming from just recognizing them
• 12:18
  Speaker 2: on their birthday.
• 12:19
  Speaker 3: Wow, thank you for saying that.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Thanks, So I've seen some statistics. The National Center
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: for Homeless Education estimates that there are three point five
• 12:29
  Speaker 2: million children in the United States that are homeless.
• 12:32
  Speaker 3: Yes, that's a lot of children.
• 12:35
  Speaker 2: Yes, who did not pick to do that. Okay, they
• 12:39
  Speaker 2: are in circumstances that have yielded them where they are.
• 12:46
  Speaker 2: Is that the same kind of numbers and volume that
• 12:49
  Speaker 2: you're hearing seen or you know, I mean, is that low?
• 12:54
  Speaker 2: Is that high? What are some of the types of
• 12:57
  Speaker 2: volumes your team estimates, or even what are the touch
• 13:01
  Speaker 2: points that you are actually had getting hands and seen
• 13:06
  Speaker 2: as far as you know the kinds.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: Of numbers, Yeah, No, I think that very much tracks.
• 13:11
  Speaker 4: What we have seen statistically is a number between two
• 13:14
  Speaker 4: point four to four point four children experiencing homelessness within
• 13:20
  Speaker 4: a year. So I think the three point five million
• 13:23
  Speaker 4: number very much tracks.
• 13:25
  Speaker 3: Katie.
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  Speaker 4: What I know is, and I'm sure that you understand
• 13:29
  Speaker 4: this too, is that this also encompasses.
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  Speaker 3: This encompasses a lot of things.
• 13:34
  Speaker 4: This is children who you know, Oftentimes when we talk
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: about this, people think they're they're imagining that we're celebrating
• 13:42
  Speaker 4: with children who don't have families, right like they're just
• 13:44
  Speaker 4: and that is the case in some times that we
• 13:48
  Speaker 4: do celebrate children who are staying alone at the ages
• 13:52
  Speaker 4: of thirteen to twenty four. There are youth programs in
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: which they have made the choice to opt out of
• 13:58
  Speaker 4: foster care or they didn't it didn't work for them
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: and so they found a different path. We absolutely celebrate
• 14:04
  Speaker 4: those kids, and we're celebrating with a lot of families,
• 14:07
  Speaker 4: whether they are dual parent families or single parent families.
• 14:12
  Speaker 4: But back to what we kind of talked about in
• 14:14
  Speaker 4: the beginning is these are victims of sex trafficking, and
• 14:18
  Speaker 4: human trafficking, these are victims of domestic violence, these are
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: people who have been chronically homeless, they're families, you know,
• 14:27
  Speaker 4: it's a systemic thing. And then these are people who
• 14:30
  Speaker 4: truly just down on their luck, like one wrong turn
• 14:34
  Speaker 4: has taken them to this place. And so as you
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: look at the breadth of these numbers, we take into
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: consideration that there are you know, an in one ISD
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: school district in the country, there will be thousands of
• 14:49
  Speaker 4: children who are couchshurfing, who are experiencing homelessness. We're actually
• 14:54
  Speaker 4: have the ability to impact and to celebrate even those
• 14:59
  Speaker 4: children in some of those school districts.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: So we're doing what we can to reach as many
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: as we can.
• 15:05
  Speaker 4: But the statistics to me are alarming, and you're right,
• 15:09
  Speaker 4: children don't have a choice.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: So I had the opportunity to give a ted X
• 15:13
  Speaker 2: talk and I actually shared about my own experiences of
• 15:16
  Speaker 2: housing instability as a child. At one point, our family
• 15:20
  Speaker 2: of five was homeless and living in the tent. So
• 15:25
  Speaker 2: your birthday party project really strikes a chord with me.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: And one of the things in this talk, I mentioned
• 15:34
  Speaker 2: the misconceptions of homelessness and I went through you know
• 15:40
  Speaker 2: what people sometimes think what they say and how we
• 15:43
  Speaker 2: can you know, look at that differently from your perspective.
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: You are on the front lines working with families and
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: children who are experiencing homelessness. What are some of the
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: misconceptions that you you would want to tackle or that
• 16:03
  Speaker 2: you would want to speak some truth into.
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: Can you share some of those?
• 16:07
  Speaker 4: Yes, thank you for touching on your story. I have
• 16:13
  Speaker 4: heard your story and am just grateful for the opportunity
• 16:18
  Speaker 4: to speak with someone who has had such resilience and determination.
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: I truly am grateful for that. I think that you're
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: hitting this just dead on. I I often hear words
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: like lazy, or I even hear systemic, which I think
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: is a true it's a true scenario that we're working with, right.
• 16:45
  Speaker 4: I hear words of you know, not caring, or would rather,
• 16:53
  Speaker 4: you know, take something from the government than ever you know,
• 16:57
  Speaker 4: try to work. I mean, all of these, all of
• 17:00
  Speaker 4: the ways people talk about other individuals, I mean, it
• 17:03
  Speaker 4: can just be so hateful and so hurtful. We try
• 17:06
  Speaker 4: to approach our work with a different lens, which is
• 17:10
  Speaker 4: that we're all human beings created by God and by goodness,
• 17:13
  Speaker 4: like we should be treated with dignity.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: I think some of the things that we learned early on, and.
• 17:21
  Speaker 4: I'm not sure if this is helpful, but one of
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: the things I learned early on is like this child
• 17:26
  Speaker 4: first language. So rather than deciding what a child is,
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: we have the opportunity to just talk about a child
• 17:35
  Speaker 4: and what they're experiencing.
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: So instead of.
• 17:37
  Speaker 4: Saying homeless kid, homeless children, homeless families, we talk about
• 17:42
  Speaker 4: it as people who are in a phase of homelessness. Right,
• 17:46
  Speaker 4: these are children experiencing homelessness. This is very different than
• 17:50
  Speaker 4: deciding who they are as individuals. I think that it's
• 17:54
  Speaker 4: really important that we are looking at human beings as
• 17:59
  Speaker 4: just that people who are on a journey somewhere and
• 18:03
  Speaker 4: with something. And we often have the opportunity to speak
• 18:07
  Speaker 4: with people, especially when we're talking about people who have
• 18:11
  Speaker 4: been trafficked or in domestic violent situations. When our birthday enthusiasts,
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: that's what we call our volunteers, When our birthday enthusiasts
• 18:21
  Speaker 4: gather before a party at one of these agencies that
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: are housing families that have gone through this experience, we
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: talk about the fact that it takes a woman seven
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: times to leave an abuser. And while people say like, well,
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: why would it take so long? Well, think about their
• 18:38
  Speaker 4: circumstances being very different than than maybe years were, right,
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: maybe they grew up in a place where they were
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: never shown love or affection or didn't know their value
• 18:48
  Speaker 4: or worth.
• 18:49
  Speaker 2: And talk about this as a way to say.
• 18:51
  Speaker 4: Like, our job tonight is to walk into this room
• 18:56
  Speaker 4: and to celebrate with children and their family members, to
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: connect with them and remind them that they are also
• 19:03
  Speaker 4: human beings, that we are all on journeys.
• 19:05
  Speaker 2: It is not a place to feel judgment. It's not
• 19:08
  Speaker 2: a place to even ask questions why are you here?
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: Right?
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: That's not our That's not my business. My business is
• 19:15
  Speaker 4: to love and to spread jay. But I often find
• 19:19
  Speaker 4: that even in conversations now, Katie, I often find that
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: people are like, what issue are you actually solving? Like
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: why this isn't what people need? And why would you
• 19:31
  Speaker 4: help people that are unwilling to help themselves? These are
• 19:35
  Speaker 4: the myths, right, These are the things that we're talking
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: about right now. There are too many barriers in people's
• 19:41
  Speaker 4: way for us to be able to paint a clear
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: path for any of us. But eventually people experiencing homelessness
• 19:48
  Speaker 4: to paint this clear path of Well, of course this
• 19:51
  Speaker 4: looks so simple from the outside, but when you really
• 19:54
  Speaker 4: get into it, it's so layered. Anyway, I just that
• 20:00
  Speaker 4: there is an opportunity for us to extend grace, to
• 20:03
  Speaker 4: ask different questions, and just.
• 20:04
  Speaker 3: To be reminded that we're all human beings.
• 20:08
  Speaker 2: I mean, it is so layered, and it's economically, it's physically,
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: it's mentally, it's community, it's structures. I mean, like there's
• 20:19
  Speaker 2: just so many parts of that layer. But what you're
• 20:23
  Speaker 2: doing is saying it doesn't matter what happened or why
• 20:28
  Speaker 2: you're here, you still can celebrate you. That's right, right,
• 20:35
  Speaker 2: And I think that's the beauty of what you're doing,
• 20:37
  Speaker 2: because when life implodes, you don't celebrate. No, no, I
• 20:44
  Speaker 2: mean you just don't to go I mean right, Like
• 20:48
  Speaker 2: the first thing out is yes, celebration, yeah, right, And
• 20:53
  Speaker 2: that does impact your psyche and your ability to sort
• 20:57
  Speaker 2: of like when people say, well, you know, why can't
• 20:59
  Speaker 2: they just go get a job or why can't they
• 21:02
  Speaker 2: just get an apartment? You know, sometimes there's not even
• 21:05
  Speaker 2: that core ability to say, Okay, how can I develop
• 21:10
  Speaker 2: a process by which I can go do that? And
• 21:13
  Speaker 2: they're you know, so this is very, very complex. Let's
• 21:18
  Speaker 2: talk about those birthday enthusiasts you mentioned. Do you guys
• 21:22
  Speaker 2: are in twenty cities? I mean, first of all, how
• 21:25
  Speaker 2: in the world did you get to twenty cities? And
• 21:27
  Speaker 2: then how do you this big group of volunteers like
• 21:33
  Speaker 2: talk to us, How you're able to just make all
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: that happen? Because that, to me is fascinating. What a
• 21:38
  Speaker 2: big footprint there.
• 21:39
  Speaker 4: It is truly the power of people. What I would
• 21:42
  Speaker 4: say is we have had this remarkable opportunity to connect
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: with so many people. My background alone in events has
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: put me all over the country, which means that and
• 21:53
  Speaker 4: you know, I'll talk to anybody.
• 21:55
  Speaker 2: So I made lots of friends and lots of places.
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: And when it comes down to the op opportunity to grow,
• 22:02
  Speaker 4: we reach out and people just say yes. But it
• 22:04
  Speaker 4: started as such a grassroots effort here in Dallas, and
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: then our story was picked up and told, and then
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: it was told again, and it was told again. And
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: when that happens, when the storytelling elements of this come
• 22:17
  Speaker 4: in and people are hearing about what we're doing, I mean,
• 22:20
  Speaker 4: birthdays are something that we all experience, right, we can
• 22:23
  Speaker 4: all identify with what it feels like to be celebrated
• 22:27
  Speaker 4: or to not be celebrated, and those are the motivating
• 22:30
  Speaker 4: factors that I have often found bring people into our world.
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: But because of the grassroots energy and power of people
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: and people just saying yes to our mission, we've had
• 22:41
  Speaker 4: the opportunity to say yes back, and so we just
• 22:45
  Speaker 4: had to keep adding chances to celebrate. When we first launched,
• 22:49
  Speaker 4: we had somebody in San Francisco say I love what
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: you're doing and I think I can help, and they
• 22:56
  Speaker 4: helped with financial resources and people resources, and we just
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: went for it right. We just said yes to the opportunity,
• 23:03
  Speaker 4: and as we continued to grow, we would grow obviously
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: very steadily, with a lot of intention and care. Because
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: one of the things that we talk about is once
• 23:13
  Speaker 4: we partner with an agency and we and we will
• 23:17
  Speaker 4: commit to them for life. So if we start with
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: them on and celebrating on the fourth Wednesday of every month,
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: you better believe that as long as we are here,
• 23:26
  Speaker 4: we will be celebrating with you on the fourth Wednesday
• 23:29
  Speaker 4: of every month.
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: Wow.
• 23:31
  Speaker 4: So we have agencies that we've been celebrating with for
• 23:33
  Speaker 4: twelve thirteen years now, and we have shown up every
• 23:38
  Speaker 4: single month. You know, COVID through us a little bit,
• 23:40
  Speaker 4: but the people that have come into our path, this
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: is what I love so much, is that whether you
• 23:46
  Speaker 4: are three, and we have had eighty three year olds
• 23:49
  Speaker 4: join us for celebrations, there's always something for someone to
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: do at our parties. Whether it is simply, you know,
• 23:57
  Speaker 4: playing with another kid, whether it is sing at a
• 24:00
  Speaker 4: table and coloring, whether it is a person who is
• 24:04
  Speaker 4: energizing the room and getting people to dance. I have
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: found that there is a place for all of us
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: to use our skills and our talents to serve in
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: that way. And so really, when we go into other cities,
• 24:17
  Speaker 4: it's because someone has heard about our mission and wants
• 24:21
  Speaker 4: to advocate and champion for us to be here.
• 24:23
  Speaker 3: But here's the coolest part to me.
• 24:25
  Speaker 4: I am sitting in our headquarters in Dallas, Texas, of
• 24:30
  Speaker 4: which I never imagined that we would even have as
• 24:32
  Speaker 4: much space as we do here now. And I have
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: a great team of people who work for the Birthday
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: Party Project, our little small but mighty team Katie of
• 24:41
  Speaker 4: six people, and we have what we call party coordinators.
• 24:46
  Speaker 4: These are one hundred and thirty dedicated individuals who show
• 24:50
  Speaker 4: up every single month to host parties on our Behalf.
• 24:55
  Speaker 4: We celebrate with them, and we recently just celebrated milestone
• 25:00
  Speaker 4: of years that they've been with us, and most of
• 25:03
  Speaker 4: our party coordinators have been with us for more than
• 25:05
  Speaker 4: eight years. Over half of them have been showing up
• 25:09
  Speaker 4: every single month to the same agency in their city
• 25:13
  Speaker 4: to host Parties on our Behalf as a volunteer. And
• 25:17
  Speaker 4: they create connection with our agency partners, and they create
• 25:21
  Speaker 4: connection with our kids and their families. They are the
• 25:24
  Speaker 4: steadiness right of their kind of like that that helped,
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: like the undercurrent. And then we have birthday enthusiasts, and
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: that's people like you and me, and we get the
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: opportunity to come in, whether it's individuals or corporate groups,
• 25:38
  Speaker 4: or we have people who share their birthday and bring
• 25:40
  Speaker 4: their friends with them to a party. And these are
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: people who may show up once or they may come
• 25:45
  Speaker 4: back every single month and celebrate with us.
• 25:47
  Speaker 3: But it does not happen without.
• 25:50
  Speaker 4: These thousands of people all over the country just continuing
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: to say yes, to show up for our kids and
• 25:56
  Speaker 4: to take an hour and celebrate.
• 25:59
  Speaker 2: I want to ask obvious question that's kind of hitting
• 26:02
  Speaker 2: in my mind here, but you have the microphone, so
• 26:06
  Speaker 2: I want to know, quite frankly, how you're paying for
• 26:10
  Speaker 2: all of this. I mean, I want you to tell
• 26:14
  Speaker 2: our listeners if you need people to come alongside of
• 26:18
  Speaker 2: you and help you through this in a collaboration, just
• 26:23
  Speaker 2: be open with us, because I'm sure this is not
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: all cheap, and so that we've got listeners who I'm
• 26:31
  Speaker 2: sure are incredibly impressed by what you're doing. So let
• 26:36
  Speaker 2: us know what you need here. Thank you for asking
• 26:38
  Speaker 2: that question.
• 26:39
  Speaker 4: Yes, I can paint an incredible picture of the amazing
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: volunteers that we have. And I say that because I'm
• 26:46
  Speaker 4: really proud of the numbers that allow us to continue
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: to do our work in a really effective way while
• 26:54
  Speaker 4: stewarding our resources. Eighty one percent of every dollar that
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: we receive, you've go straight to celebrating our kids. And
• 27:02
  Speaker 4: I'm damn proud of that number. Eighty one eighty one cents.
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: Of every dollar.
• 27:07
  Speaker 4: But we we rely on the help of our community absolutely,
• 27:12
  Speaker 4: whether it's kids who share their birthday who ask for
• 27:15
  Speaker 4: donations to the Birthday Party Project, whether people do toy
• 27:20
  Speaker 4: drives their at their offices. We have corporations who partner
• 27:25
  Speaker 4: with us, and they are our corporate partners, allowing us
• 27:29
  Speaker 4: to do big strategic moves to really help, you know,
• 27:34
  Speaker 4: support our mission in the ways in which we need
• 27:37
  Speaker 4: that support in terms of like just financial stability. You know,
• 27:42
  Speaker 4: that allows us to bring in talent that helps us
• 27:44
  Speaker 4: to continue to grow. And of course, like you know,
• 27:48
  Speaker 4: we love family foundations, but really we rely on the
• 27:51
  Speaker 4: help of our community. It does not happen without them.
• 27:54
  Speaker 4: And so it's thirty five dollars to sponsor a birthday kid.
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: We also have a parallel program that I haven't mentioned
• 28:02
  Speaker 4: yet called Birthday in a Bag. This allows us to
• 28:05
  Speaker 4: reach kids in Harden, to reach places. It started during
• 28:08
  Speaker 4: COVID and when we were not able to party in person,
• 28:12
  Speaker 4: we quickly shifted to Birthday in a Bag and we
• 28:15
  Speaker 4: provide kids and their family members a draw string backpack.
• 28:20
  Speaker 4: It's his best day ever. And in that backpack it
• 28:23
  Speaker 4: has everything a kid needs to feel celebrated on their birthday,
• 28:26
  Speaker 4: down to the tape to hang their streamers and their
• 28:31
  Speaker 4: birthday banners in whatever place they are in.
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: And those birthday bags.
• 28:35
  Speaker 4: You can sponsor one of those birthday parties for fifty dollars.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: I mean, it takes very little to make a big impact.
• 28:44
  Speaker 2: Tell us some of those twenty cities because I think
• 28:48
  Speaker 2: as somebody's listening here, they're like, oh wait a minute,
• 28:51
  Speaker 2: that's in my town, and I want to kind of
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: bridge some of that attachment. So give us a sampling
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: of those cities.
• 28:59
  Speaker 4: Sure, So you know, West Coast is LA and San Francisco,
• 29:04
  Speaker 4: and then of Texas, our home state is Dallas and
• 29:07
  Speaker 4: Houston and Austin. We have Chicago, we have Detroit and Minneapolis.
• 29:12
  Speaker 4: We go to Atlanta and New York, and we're headed
• 29:15
  Speaker 4: to Charleston soon and there's layers in between. So on
• 29:21
  Speaker 4: our website we have a big map and with stars
• 29:24
  Speaker 4: on it, and it will show you all the places
• 29:26
  Speaker 4: that we are celebrating children.
• 29:29
  Speaker 2: One more question here. If somebody is listening to you
• 29:33
  Speaker 2: and your journey and they have a seed that's planted
• 29:38
  Speaker 2: in their mind about maybe not a birthday you know scenario,
• 29:43
  Speaker 2: but something else that they're going through some of that
• 29:46
  Speaker 2: conviction like you experience, and they really want to launch
• 29:50
  Speaker 2: some type of an initiative or a nonprofit, but they're hesitant.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: What would you say to somebody who is one to
• 30:00
  Speaker 2: help with community issues create some kind of change agent
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: that they just haven't done it yet. What do they
• 30:10
  Speaker 2: need to hear from somebody who has done it and
• 30:13
  Speaker 2: who has launched.
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: Your question brings up tears behind my eyes because the
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: journey is not one straight path, Right, it doesn't happen
• 30:32
  Speaker 4: change like this.
• 30:35
  Speaker 3: Can certainly happen instantly.
• 30:37
  Speaker 2: But I think that when we talk about, like.
• 30:42
  Speaker 4: When we talk about like truly changing a trajectory, a life.
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: Whatever you're whatever it is that you.
• 30:52
  Speaker 4: Want to do, truly making this impact, it takes grit,
• 30:58
  Speaker 4: and sometimes it hard and lonely, and there are nights
• 31:04
  Speaker 4: that you want to give up, and there are mornings
• 31:07
  Speaker 4: that you want to race out of bed with energy. Right,
• 31:11
  Speaker 4: you absolutely run the roll like ride the roller coaster. Yeah,
• 31:16
  Speaker 4: but none of that happens without starting somewhere, and none
• 31:20
  Speaker 4: of that happens without saying yes. And so in my opinion,
• 31:25
  Speaker 4: you can look at this and think, oh my gosh,
• 31:28
  Speaker 4: there are miles to go, or you take the first
• 31:32
  Speaker 4: step and you see what it looks like at the
• 31:34
  Speaker 4: first step, and then you take the next step, and
• 31:37
  Speaker 4: as you're taking these steps, remind yourself that what you're
• 31:41
  Speaker 4: doing is worth it, and bring other people into the conversation,
• 31:45
  Speaker 4: because the more that you engage people like there's this
• 31:48
  Speaker 4: vulnerability aspect right to starting something. And if we hold
• 31:53
  Speaker 4: on tight because we're so uncomfortable, I think we lose
• 31:58
  Speaker 4: the opportunity to to learn and leverage other people's talents,
• 32:02
  Speaker 4: right Like, if we hold on so tight to things,
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: we're not giving other people the abilities and the and
• 32:10
  Speaker 4: the chance to like shine through and shine with. And
• 32:14
  Speaker 4: so I prefer to take one step at a time
• 32:18
  Speaker 4: to bring smart people around me, to admit where I need,
• 32:22
  Speaker 4: you know, help, to ask for it often, to give,
• 32:26
  Speaker 4: you know, to listen for the feedback and the advice
• 32:29
  Speaker 4: more than I give it.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: And I don't always do that well these days, but
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: I try really hard.
• 32:35
  Speaker 2: But there's something about this, like, you know, imposter syndrome
• 32:39
  Speaker 2: is real.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: It's real me.
• 32:41
  Speaker 4: And there are moments along this journey of thirteen actually
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: fifteen years where I've thought, why why am I up here?
• 32:48
  Speaker 3: Why am I the one I'm doing this? Why is
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: this mean? This should not be?
• 32:51
  Speaker 4: I do not have, you know, But what I do
• 32:54
  Speaker 4: have is determination, and I got grit, and I've got
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: people that I can call on to make this better.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: And that recipe for me has been profound, not only
• 33:07
  Speaker 4: as me, like changing who I am as a human being,
• 33:12
  Speaker 4: but I hope has really helped create these ripple effects
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: of joy that can be felt far beyond anything that
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: I will ever know.
• 33:22
  Speaker 2: That is amazing, and I'm hoping that somebody really says, Okay,
• 33:26
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to launch. I'm ready to take that step.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: I'm ready to not be comfortable and move forward. Because
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: I know it sounds corny, but one person can make
• 33:37
  Speaker 2: a huge difference. I mean, if you had not acted
• 33:42
  Speaker 2: on what your heart and what your conviction and just
• 33:45
  Speaker 2: you as a person, if you hadn't acted on that,
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: you know, that's missed opportunity. Sure, but it's also like
• 33:53
  Speaker 2: all of these kids that their whole physical and mental
• 33:59
  Speaker 2: will be has been given a chance to I mean,
• 34:02
  Speaker 2: like this is just to me, and so I just
• 34:05
  Speaker 2: sit there and think, you know, I hope somebody who's
• 34:07
  Speaker 2: kind of toying with their own version of what they
• 34:10
  Speaker 2: want to launch actually is now urged and prompted to
• 34:14
  Speaker 2: do that just by hearing what you've been able to accomplish.
• 34:17
  Speaker 4: Thank you so much, Katie, Thank you, And you know what,
• 34:21
  Speaker 4: I hope so too, because if I can do it
• 34:23
  Speaker 4: imperfectly and I'm still here, yeah, you know, then so
• 34:29
  Speaker 4: can someone else.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Yep, So I dotted down a few notes while we
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: were talking here, and I cannot wait for Quadel to
• 34:37
  Speaker 2: come alongside with you and see what we're able to
• 34:40
  Speaker 2: help support you in. This is a an issue that
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: unless we build more affordable housing, yes, is actually projected
• 34:51
  Speaker 2: to get worse as far as homelessness. So you know,
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: we've got a couple of dynamics in our industry that
• 34:58
  Speaker 2: need to happen. But we really appreciate what you are
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: doing on the human side and kind of feeding into
• 35:07
  Speaker 2: that hope cycle for those kids who didn't ask to
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: be homeless. So Page, I appreciate you and what your
• 35:15
  Speaker 2: team of thirty five thousand volunteers are doing. So we
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: just want to sprinkle success so you're in even more
• 35:23
  Speaker 2: cities across America.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: Thank you so much, Katie.
• 35:26
  Speaker 4: It's just a pleasure to talk with you, and thanks
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: for the work that you guys are doing.
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: You are welcome.
• 35:31
  Speaker 2: I've been talking with Paige Lowhoffer, the founder of the
• 35:34
  Speaker 2: Birthday Party Project, so I encourage everybody to go out
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: and find out how you can also help support her
• 35:42
  Speaker 2: and what they're doing.
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: Thank you, Thanks, thanks for listening to change makers. With
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: Katie Gore. To find out more about Katie, go to
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: quadel dot com. That's quad el dot com. This has
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: been a production of Forbes Books, Rate Yo