Latest / Terri Messenger's Genius Zone / The 8 Principles of Emotional Healing

Transcript

The 8 Principles of Emotional Healing · Terri Messenger's Genius Zone

0:00
And feels like when a person is going through it because you've
0:05
got so much superpower in being able to identify.
0:10
So perhaps you can even enlighten us with where it sits
0:15
in the body and talk me through what fear looks like, feels,
0:21
etcetera. So fear sits in your root
0:25
chakra, in the base of your spine, and fear feels like
0:31
uncertainty. It feels like you can't predict
0:34
anything. It feels a tightness in your
0:37
body. Everybody feels it in a
0:40
different way. So fear can be stored in
0:43
different parts of your body. It just depends on you and what
0:47
you went through. And it always relates to the
0:51
first time that you felt fear. So with fear in particular,
0:55
usually most people feel it when they were born or within the
1:01
womb. So that's that your commonly
1:03
your first core emotional wound that you experience.
1:08
So oftentimes that can be. Hey, welcome Sophie.
1:14
I am so pleased to have you here with us.
1:18
Thank you for having me, it's lovely to be here.
1:21
And you are all about somatic healing, and you really believe
1:28
in the fact that you've got to feel to heal your emotions.
1:34
And I can't help thinking that so many of us get stuck in this
1:42
cycle of addiction, almost like we ruminate.
1:46
And I was listening to something the other day that actually
1:50
proves that when we're ruminating.
1:53
Like if it feels bad, one would think, why do we continually
2:00
talk about what we're going through?
2:03
Nurse rehearse the negative stuff.
2:06
But did you know that studies have shown that it releases a
2:11
chemical in the brain that's like cocaine?
2:17
So that means that we're addicted to almost our negative
2:21
emotions. Yeah, we are for sure addicted
2:25
to our suffering. That is just so incredibly
2:30
ironic. So now you have a process where
2:35
you've come in to understanding that we all have 8 particular
2:42
emotions, which are the emotional cool ones, and you've
2:46
come up with this incredible process where we can identify
2:52
which one belongs to us. So why don't we just get
2:55
straight into this and let's kick off with the number one
3:02
first emotion, which is fear. What do you think fear looks
3:10
like and feels like when a person is going through it?
3:16
Because you've got so much superpower in being able to
3:21
identify. So perhaps you can even
3:24
enlighten us with where it sits in the body and talk me through
3:31
what fear looks like, feels, etcetera.
3:35
So fear sits in your root chakra, in the base of your
3:40
spine, and fear feels like uncertainty.
3:44
It feels like you can't predict anything.
3:47
It feels a tightness in your body.
3:50
Everybody feels it in a different way.
3:53
So fear can be stored in different parts of your body.
3:57
It just depends on you and what you went through.
4:01
And it always relates to the first time that you felt fear.
4:05
So with fear in particular, usually most people feel it when
4:10
they were born or within the womb.
4:13
So that's the your commonly your first core emotional wound that
4:18
you experience. So oftentimes that can be in
4:22
utero. So when you're in the, the
4:24
mother's womb and often you can feel fear from her because when
4:29
you're a baby and you're developing, you can hear
4:31
everything. You can feel everything that
4:32
your mother is feeling. So if you're feeling the anxiety
4:36
or the fear of your mom regardless, and you don't
4:39
understand what con the context of what's going on, you can
4:42
start to take on that fear and you start to get scared.
4:47
So that can be the first time that you feel fair or it can be
4:50
in your bath experience. So depending on how you enter
4:55
into this world, did you come through the womb in a safe and
5:00
through the vaginal canal safely?
5:03
And were you able to be received by your mother when she was
5:07
cognizant, she was aware that you're coming in.
5:09
Obviously, it's a scary thing for you to experience.
5:12
You've just been in a safe, warm, cozy area and you haven't
5:16
had to really deal with much and now you're having to breathe for
5:19
the first time. There's all these random people
5:21
around you. It's a very scary experience as
5:24
a child. And so how you're received in
5:28
that moment. And also because children, they
5:30
initially straight away instinctually look for the boob
5:34
to be fed. So are you given straight to
5:37
your mother's skin to skin? Do you get comforted in that
5:40
moment or are you delivered through AC section?
5:43
Oftentimes people who experience C sections, they their mother is
5:48
often drugs because she has to have the surgery and then you're
5:52
handled by nurses, you come into a bright room and that can be
5:56
incredibly scary. So oftentimes people who feel as
6:00
though they there's something wrong, essentially you come into
6:04
the world thinking there's something wrong and you don't
6:06
know why because you were delivered before you were meant
6:09
to be here, But it just doesn't mean that you're not meant to be
6:12
here at all. It just means that you came in a
6:14
very traumatic way. And people who experience a
6:18
quote UN quote good childhood, they often feel like they can't
6:23
quite put a finger on why they feel like something is off, why
6:27
they feel like something is wrong in their life.
6:29
And often it can be traced back to them being delivered through
6:33
AC section. So that's usually how you get
6:35
your fear. Wind yeah.
6:37
So really what you're saying, if we can now quantum leap into the
6:42
present, is that if a person is feeling the fear, what you've
6:48
done is you've described that and I love the fact that you've
6:53
brought up that feeling of uncertainty and because that's
6:58
where they feel unsafe. I'm sure each and every person
7:01
knows and there's different extents of it too.
7:05
But what I'm hearing you say is that you're doing fear as a, I
7:12
guess, a pattern that originated as early as the mother's womb.
7:20
I find that extremely interesting.
7:23
So if you were dealing with the fear, would you go back and find
7:30
that person's initial fear? And can you talk us through how
7:36
you usually come to find? It of course, so to give people
7:43
a bit more context about why the emotional wounds come up that
7:46
way. So the first time you experience
7:49
any of these emotional wounds, that is when the patent is laid
7:53
down South. Anytime that you're feeling fear
7:56
right now in this moment is always traced back to the first
7:59
time you felt that way. And the first time you felt that
8:02
way is before the age of 9 because that's when you are
8:05
developing your subconscious programming.
8:07
That's why children are incredibly emotional because
8:09
they're always running from their from their emotional
8:12
brain. Their frontal lobe isn't
8:14
developed yet. Your frontal lobe doesn't start
8:16
developing until in terms of being able to process logic
8:19
until the age of nine. So that's why children are
8:22
incredibly emotional is because that's what they're running
8:26
from. That's what how they're
8:28
experiencing the world. They're just always 100% in
8:31
their emotions and that is how you end up and you learn how to
8:34
move through the world through your emotional reactions to
8:37
things. So for example, when you feel
8:39
fear and you feel unsafe, then you react in that way to make
8:43
yourself feel better. And that's always because you
8:46
latch on to the adult in the room, the person that you're
8:50
trying to feel safest with, and that's how you and you end up.
8:55
This is also where emotional wounds can come in is that you
8:58
end up sometimes and often putting your fear aside in order
9:04
to get connection with that person.
9:06
So if they don't console you in the correct way and they help
9:10
you move through this emotion and come to safety and come to
9:13
relief. If they shame you for it or if
9:16
they deny that you're having that emotional experience in the
9:19
1st place, that can create a wound where you can't quite
9:23
process to the end and you don't feel safe.
9:25
And humans, the reason we do this is because connection is
9:29
our number one essential thing for survival above food, above
9:34
water, above housing, because humans are incredibly social
9:38
beings and that is how we gain food, water, shelter is through
9:43
our relationships, through our connections.
9:45
So that's how we often can abandoned ourselves and how we
9:49
feel in order to get that connection with other people.
9:52
But that is so good. So what I'm going to do now is
9:54
I'm going to flick through the seven remainders so #1 fear.
10:00
And we all have it #2 Shane. Now, I better just preface this
10:06
because what this beautiful lady Sophie is going to do is she is
10:11
going to probably, we're going to, I think, tap into the energy
10:17
here. And between the two of us, we'll
10:21
find the one that we feel is going to resonate with the
10:26
majority of the audience, even though we don't know our
10:29
audience and who they're going to be.
10:31
And it could reach a person that you absolutely change their life
10:38
in five years time. Let's trust the energetics of
10:41
this, shall we? Everyone listening, I'm going to
10:44
go through now. This is actually Sophie's
10:48
processes. So they are #1 fear #2 shame #3
10:54
guilt #4 worry #5 grief, number six, jealousy #7 feeling crazy,
11:03
which is like the mental overwhelm, the confusion that
11:07
goes on and #8 mistrust. So I'm just feeling into these
11:14
myself at the moment. And I'm going to tell you what's
11:18
come up for me. And I feel that I'm surrogating
11:21
our audience a bit here. So we like to treat this like a
11:25
real master class. Get ready, guys, because stay to
11:29
the end. You're going to get this
11:30
beautiful, juicy meditation from Sophie.
11:35
I'm going to go with mistrust. So what I'm going to get you to
11:39
do is articulate that you don't have to go into the complete
11:43
full extent of it, but you know what you do with a person who's
11:49
suffering from this, and it's obviously showing up in their
11:53
life where they may be mistrusting.
11:56
And just from what you've just taught us, it may go back to
12:01
something that's happened in childhood and as you say, under
12:05
the age of 8 or 9, where the person has been wounded.
12:12
And as a result, there's that mistrust.
12:14
And then as a result, they're attracting that mistrust.
12:17
So can you walk us through? That, yeah.
12:20
So with distrust, that's usually the top of.
12:23
So all of these emotional wounds are connected to the seven
12:26
chakras. So I should say that the first,
12:29
the root chakra, is connected to fear and guilt, and that's how
12:33
we move up. But with distrust, that's
12:34
connected to your crown chakra. And that's to do with God,
12:38
that's to do with the universe. That is where you distrust
12:41
something happened in your childhood.
12:43
And I'm sure that everybody can relate.
12:45
This is that whether you believe in God or not, or it's or if you
12:49
have another higher power that you believe in, you can apply
12:52
this to anything. You feel as though something
12:56
happened, you wished for something and you didn't get it
12:59
and you feel betrayed. You feel as though you were
13:03
abandoned. You feel as though, you know,
13:04
when you ask for a Christmas gift and from your parents and
13:09
they don't give it to you for whatever reason, either they
13:11
couldn't afford it or they chose to get you something else they
13:13
thought you might like more. And you have have this shock to
13:18
your system where you're like, I really needed you.
13:21
Oftentimes as can be in a moment of desperation, we really need
13:24
help. And you don't get it.
13:27
And this can break your trust in God because every child
13:31
understands that there's something bigger than them.
13:34
It's written into their cells. They have this unusual
13:37
understanding, this connection to something that's out there,
13:40
and they don't quite know what it is.
13:42
But the moment that they feel like they really need help and
13:46
they don't get it, this can cause this distrust.
13:50
And often a big one, a big indicator that you're having a
13:54
distrust issue is are you afraid of death?
13:58
Because death is. Yeah, death is.
14:00
This is the ultimate wound in terms of feeling scared of
14:04
change, of the unknown, because you can't forget.
14:08
Yeah, you don't know what's going to happen because
14:10
ultimately we're not in control at all.
14:12
We're only ever in control of ourselves and to put our trust
14:16
in God, which is in control of everything else.
14:19
If you don't have that connection, if you don't have
14:21
that trust, you feel completely disconnected and you can't,
14:25
you're blocked off. You can't have any miracles
14:27
happen in your life because you're constantly like, trying
14:31
to. You can't give somebody else
14:34
your own autonomy. You feel as though, no, I can't
14:37
trust God in order to be able to get what I actually need.
14:41
And you feel like everything you're given or not given is an
14:45
attack on you. You don't feel like you're
14:47
supported by God, even though you can't quite see that God
14:51
might not be giving you something that you're not
14:53
supposed to have. And sometimes this, we often
14:56
experience this negative situations and traumatic
14:59
situations where we feel like it's unfair, where we feel like
15:04
that whatever happened to us is not OK.
15:07
It's how could God do this to me?
15:10
That's often the rhetoric that you have, that you know, that
15:13
you have a distrust wound. And I can't help feeling like I
15:19
want to say to people with what you've just said.
15:23
It reminds me of the other day I was in church.
15:27
And the people who are very close to me, they may know that
15:31
I've just recently lost my husband and he died of an always
15:36
fatal disease, CJD, which we didn't know until 11 weeks
15:41
before he died. But leading up to it, there had
15:45
been so much anticipation, so much fear, so much almost like
15:52
all of these elements. I think I could tap into every
15:57
single one of them and just go through what you go through.
16:03
And then you find yourself almost attracting people that
16:08
are perhaps in that same way of grieving or especially because
16:14
of the work that I do. I know that I'm called to
16:19
perhaps encourage people. So I met this lady.
16:23
Not only had she lost her husband, she lost her son as
16:28
well. Not to say that anyone's grief
16:31
is larger, more significant, because it's just not linear.
16:36
You can't measure it, it's impossible and it's
16:39
unpredictable, she said to me. And I could hear that distrust
16:47
in terms of asking God, why? Why did you let this happen?
16:55
And because we happen to be in a church service, I said to her
17:00
can I have permission? Because I don't like to give
17:04
advice, especially with grieving because we know you just have to
17:07
go through the process. And I said can I make a
17:10
suggestion about your question? She said sure.
17:14
I said instead of asking why did why me?
17:19
Why did you let this happen? What about if you changed that
17:25
to what? What is the purpose?
17:29
Because it feels different somatically in our body.
17:32
And this is where I want to lead you into your expertise.
17:36
And what I'm going to do is I'm going to go into one that also
17:40
comes up like intuitively feeling into the audience here.
17:44
And that is mental overwhelm, confusion, feeling crazy.
17:51
So let's go with perhaps this lady forward Pacer, maybe down
17:56
the track, she's in a different realm and dimension of her
18:00
grief. And then all of a sudden she
18:02
goes into this mental overload, overwhelmed confusion.
18:07
And then five years later, she might be getting overload,
18:11
craziness, this mental stuff. Can you walk us through how you
18:17
get them to rather than just run away from it and let themselves
18:22
stay in it? Can you take us through the
18:25
process of feeling it, to heal it?
18:29
Sure. So I'll answer that question and
18:31
then I'm going to please remind me.
18:33
I would like to distinguish between, so in terms of an
18:37
overload of information that's actually worry, in terms of
18:41
feeling crazy, that's in terms of seeing the unseen and knowing
18:47
the unknown. So there's two different ones.
18:50
And the reason that in terms of with her feeling all of this
18:54
grief and then asking, they're all interlinked, but they're all
18:56
stacked on top of one another. So the reason that why I say
19:00
every person has these 8 core emotional wounds and one is more
19:04
dominant than others is they're all on stacked on top of one
19:07
another. So you have fear, guilt, then
19:09
you have shame stacked on top of that worry, stacked on top of
19:12
that great stopped on top of that, jealousy stacked on top.
19:16
And then am I? Then you get into, am I crazy?
19:19
Because you've got all of these blocks of these other emotions
19:22
correctly, and you get into distrust and you're like, blown
19:25
apart. Yeah, That's why they're all
19:29
into LinkedIn, why it can feel so extreme.
19:32
But in terms of my process or how I would take somebody
19:35
through one of these. So in terms of how I tell,
19:38
because when somebody tells their story to me, I can always
19:40
tell which emotion is coming through with them the most.
19:44
And in this, I get them to just explain to me what's going on
19:48
for you lately. Everybody's life is their
19:50
curriculum, so I never am. I have my process, and I trust
19:56
that process is objective. It works for everyone, but the
19:59
way that I use it with my clients is different.
20:01
And especially because with these emotional wounds, you get
20:04
them for different reasons to varying degrees.
20:06
And my motto is, as somebody who has extreme facial scars, never
20:11
compares scars. Nobody's pain is worse than
20:16
yours. Nobody's pain is better than
20:18
yours. Every pain is valid.
20:21
And so with this, when a person comes in and sees me, I will ask
20:26
them what's going on in their life.
20:28
And in terms of this question, I'll just use this lady as an
20:31
example. If she came to me and she said I
20:34
was really struggling and I'm feeling like I can't trust God
20:37
anymore, she might not say that, but she'll say it through Why
20:41
me? Why this happening to me?
20:43
Why did this horrific thing happen to me?
20:45
And the thing about God is there's three faces of God.
20:48
There is the building phase of God, the destroying phase of
20:53
God, and the neutral phase of God.
20:55
So oftentimes people always think that God only operates in
20:59
a positive way and we think it's the devil if God is destroying
21:03
us. But there's actually 3 phases of
21:05
God. You can't build a new unless you
21:08
destroy the old life that you've had.
21:10
And there's always a purpose to it, even if we don't understand
21:13
what that is. And oftentimes people and
21:16
situations, houses, pets, all of that all influence us and how we
21:21
move through the world. Whether God is destroying a
21:23
phase of our life or building, or you're just sitting there
21:26
neutrally and just waiting for things to come to fruition.
21:30
There's different aspects of that with her.
21:32
I would listen to her and I would ask her these questions,
21:37
get her to talk about what she is actually experiencing.
21:41
And then as she's speaking, I'll get her to focus on her body and
21:44
I'll ask her what is she feeling as what is coming up for her in
21:48
her body as she's speaking. And there might be a certain
21:52
part, often with grief, it sits in the heart.
21:55
That's linked to the heart chapter.
21:57
And oftentimes there might be a pressure.
22:00
And then I'll ask her, OK, does it move fast or slow?
22:04
And then I'll ask her, does she have, is there a color to this
22:07
feeling? If you could draw it, what would
22:10
it be? And then from there, oftentimes
22:14
people get scared at this point. This is the kind of the crunch
22:17
point, and I have to hold people here because this is where
22:21
people get squirmish, especially if they've never done this
22:24
before. If this takes practice as a
22:26
skill that you learn is that I asked them when was the first
22:29
time they felt this way and then from there with memory.
22:34
So the reason that we trace the emotion is because memory is
22:38
stored in different parts of the brain and your emotions stored
22:41
in the amygdala. They are able then the most
22:44
easily accessible aspect of your memory because we're constantly
22:48
feeling emotions to smell a certain smell that you might
22:52
have smelled in a traumatic situation, that's a lot more
22:54
difficult to access. Whereas emotions are much
22:58
easier. They carry, they come up all the
22:59
time and they are also the strongest aspect of a memory.
23:04
Do you know how when people say, oh, people might remember what
23:08
you say, but they'll make, they'll remember how you made
23:09
them feel? Yes, for that.
23:12
So that's why we trace the feeling.
23:14
And then with a memory, this is where people say, oh, I don't
23:17
remember. You always remember.
23:20
Your body remembers. Memory is stored in the body.
23:23
It's stored in your tissues and your cells.
23:25
If you allow to trace that feeling, which is sitting and
23:28
your body focused entirely on your body, your eyes are usually
23:32
closed, you are then allowing this memory to just come from
23:36
your subconscious. It's like, I explain it, like
23:38
stepping into a river. And then you'll allow a stream
23:42
of consciousness just to bring the memory to you.
23:45
You don't need to go seek it out and then patterns start coming
23:49
up. I will say also depending on how
23:52
you think, so some people think in images, majority of people do
23:56
they see in images, but oftentimes some people think in
24:00
words or they think in shapes or sometimes they don't think at
24:03
all. So that can be a little bit
24:05
challenging. But as long as the person
24:06
understands how they think, we can get them to either ride it
24:10
out in words or to see an image. And then you allow these little
24:15
fragments of the memory to come through.
24:17
And oftentimes there is little you.
24:20
It always has to be the age before of nine.
24:22
Sometimes people might remember this feeling from when they were
24:25
14, but we just go and we ask that 14 year old, you always
24:28
want to introduce yourself and show your eyes because that's
24:31
how you recognize yourself. And you ask them when was the
24:34
last time, first time they felt that way.
24:36
And then you move through your psychologically digging through
24:40
your memory and then you allow this memory to come through.
24:44
And then in that moment you want to, you're wanting to validate
24:48
the feeling that you're currently are having.
24:50
Cause what you're trying to do is bring safety to the body.
24:52
You're wanting to make sure the body learns through you,
24:56
focusing on the emotion that it is safe to feel 'cause that's
25:00
essentially what the emotional wound is, is you're gone through
25:03
so many moments in your life where you have felt incredibly
25:06
unsafe to feel this emotion. So you have shoved it down and
25:09
pretended like it's not there, but now we're going in to
25:12
acknowledge it. And then you go up to little
25:14
you, however old you are, and you talk to it like at the age
25:18
that child can understand. So whether it's 18 months old,
25:21
two years old, six years old, and you just get there and you
25:25
show them that it's OK to feel and you talk to them and you
25:29
calm them down. You go through a process.
25:31
You're re parenting yourself and you bring safety to them.
25:35
You make them feel better. There's different ways that you
25:37
can do it and depending on the person.
25:39
And you always ask the child what do they need?
25:42
Because that's always where the wound comes in as you did not
25:46
get what you needed in that moment.
25:48
So you're giving it to yourself and once the child has calmed
25:51
down, once they've processed their emotions and you can feel
25:55
the relief, you can feel the tension literally leave your
25:58
body because your body finally feels OK.
26:01
I can breathe now. I'm OK.
26:03
That's all that it needs to know.
26:05
That's all that healing is, processing your emotions to
26:08
completion. Once that happens, we bring you
26:11
back present moment and then we go through that again with all
26:14
these different emotional blocks.
26:16
And you can use this anytime that you feel like you're really
26:19
struggling with something in your life.
26:20
You can use this technique on yourself.
26:23
Well, I can really tell that you are fully.
26:26
The absolute guru on this? Topic because wow, you're just
26:31
all over it and I can remember going to a seminar workshop and
26:37
we were taught something very similar and it was in terms of
26:42
protecting your your health and your immune system.
26:46
And what people don't realize is that every time they have these
26:51
unprocessed emotions and like what you just said, the body
26:54
doesn't lie. So it's like the book, the body
26:57
keeps the store and that's not the store, but that's the score.
27:01
But the body does keep the score.
27:03
And you know, what you're teaching is to not allow it, but
27:09
to actually, I love what you said to, to validate it and know
27:16
that we're storing these emotions, which are really
27:20
energy in the body. And this teacher was saying that
27:24
every time we just, we don't allow ourself to process it,
27:29
what you're talking about, we're setting off all of this cortisol
27:35
and all of these bad enzymes that shoot the immune system
27:41
down in flames and cause us to have that weakness in our immune
27:46
system. So I noticed that when I did
27:50
start doing this work that I stopped being a crap magnet
27:53
because I remember I used to be a crap magnet and everything you
27:57
were talking about just makes so much sense.
28:02
So you're talking about releasing it semantically now
28:05
you gave me an example backstage of how you dealt with something
28:10
yesterday. Do you want to share that story?
28:12
Because I thought that was classic.
28:15
And that will really help these listeners that are probably
28:19
praying for some resources just to hear this.
28:24
Sure. So I'm currently in France and I
28:28
will be flying to Peru next week.
28:32
And I was feeling this apprehension, this kind of
28:35
stress of moving again, of saying goodbye to this place and
28:39
going to a new place and having that change.
28:42
And I often feel this when I have this big change that's
28:45
coming on. And it felt like a knocking in
28:48
my chest and it just wouldn't go away.
28:50
Like I was just walking around the house and I was doing work
28:52
and it just kept sitting there. And eventually after I had over
28:58
a cup of tea, I was like, OK, I know what to do.
29:00
And often, like the greatest gift you can give yourself is
29:04
just to sit down and focus your attention on your body and just
29:08
close your eyes. Put your in terms when I say
29:12
attention, just your energy, your eyes, internal eyes on the
29:15
part of your body that's feeling just irritated.
29:19
It's just feeling uncomfortable. And often I think this is the is
29:24
a remnants of anxiety. It can feel a bit like worry,
29:29
this apprehensions, fear of the unknown.
29:32
And that comes up and sits in your chest.
29:34
And I sat down and I just focus my attention on it.
29:37
And as soon as I put my attention on it, I burst into
29:40
tears. I just started crying.
29:42
And I just started feeling all of what I was feeling that I was
29:45
feeling scared that it was. I was sad to say goodbye to
29:48
France. And I just let myself cry.
29:51
And the whole time that I was crying, I just was like, it's
29:53
OK. I'm allowed to feel.
29:55
That's truly the most powerful mantra I've ever come up with
29:59
myself in terms of when I've had really intense emotions.
30:02
It's just to constantly on repeat, just say I'm allowed to
30:06
feel, I'm allowed to feel, I'm allowed to feel.
30:08
And that allows it to just keep coming up until you complete
30:12
talk to until you process the emotions until completion.
30:17
Because oftentimes when you start to cry, I know this is a
30:21
habit of mine from when I was a child because I just could not
30:24
cry. I didn't cry for 10 years when I
30:25
was a child. And I would always just hold it
30:28
in and my jaw would get really tight and I just would refuse to
30:32
let the emotions out. And when I would process and
30:35
finally started to let these emotions out when I was 23, when
30:39
I would cry because I would see that as a weakness, I
30:41
immediately would be like, oh shit.
30:44
And then I would be like, I'm so sorry.
30:45
I don't want to cry. And I've had to practice and get
30:49
better at just allowing the tears to come out because crying
30:54
is the most healing thing that you can do for your body,
30:58
physically releasing those emotions through your tears.
31:02
Wow, I heard that it was also really clumsy.
31:06
And no, one day you are all over this subject, Sophie, because
31:11
you have got some brilliant teachers.
31:14
And I'm going to mention the first one, Mommy Onami, and I'm
31:19
not sure if I'm saying her name right, who really taps into the
31:23
chakra energy and the memory cognition and helps trace back.
31:30
But obviously this is what you're doing in your step by
31:32
step process. You're helping people as that
31:37
brilliant person who's helping process through these emotions
31:42
of fear and grief and jealousy and all of these things that are
31:48
you just blowing the whistle on them all basically.
31:51
And you're saying don't run away from it.
31:54
Focus on the specific emotion and identify where it is in your
32:00
body, whether it's tight, whether it's heavy, even attach
32:05
color and figure that out and then trace it back.
32:09
So when you trace it back, do you find what happens when you
32:12
trace it back? Often it can be very emotional.
32:17
It can be often depending on the emotion itself.
32:21
So oftentimes shame and grief, those are the usually the two
32:25
most difficult emotions that people process or they don't
32:29
process at all. That's the shame is that I'm not
32:32
good enough. I was born bad.
32:34
Grief is the oscillation between emotions.
32:38
So you're not able to accept what is currently happening, and
32:41
that's accepting the highs and the lows.
32:44
And those are the two emotions that we struggle with the most
32:48
in terms of coming to and understanding that is incredibly
32:55
important. And the thing about healing is
32:58
that I've had this, a lot of people in my comment section
33:02
when I'm posting about these incredibly raw emotions, people
33:05
like, oh, gentle healing and things like that.
33:08
I personally disagree with gentle healing.
33:09
Healing is not gentle. Gentleness comes afterwards
33:13
because in these moments when you're feeling this incredibly
33:18
intense, you have to go through the pain, you have to go towards
33:21
it. I always describe when you're
33:24
ignoring how you're feeling. It's like you're walking through
33:27
life and you have two mirrors on either side of you and you've
33:31
got your shadow, which is your subconscious.
33:33
It's the part of you that you've never quite acknowledged.
33:36
And that's where all your stored memories and emotions are and
33:39
where a lot of your pain is. And it's like they're waving at
33:43
you in this mirror and you can see them in the periphery
33:45
vision, but you just don't want to look.
33:47
You're like so focused on going forwards, even though you might
33:50
be dragging yourself through life emotionally, you might be
33:53
really struggling to even get up out of the out of bed every day.
33:57
And the thing about acknowledging all you have to do
34:00
is just slightly turn your head and look in the mirror to see
34:04
it. And that is what acknowledging
34:07
how your feeling is and talking to it and going towards the
34:11
pain, you have to go through it. You can't.
34:14
This is why I personally I disagree with certain tools and
34:17
things that are constantly trying to suppress how you feel.
34:21
So I always have the classic example because this is what I
34:23
got taught when I had extreme anxiety and I did CBT as to when
34:26
I was having a panic, panic attack was to put a frozen lemon
34:30
in my mouth was to like shock my body.
34:35
And I'm just like, how about we stop the panic attack from
34:40
happening in the first place? And you do that by when you're
34:44
in a calm state. So This is why I teach this
34:48
method through. So you're in a meditation and
34:50
it's the safest way to access these emotions because your body
34:54
is calm, your nervous system is calm.
34:56
You're not in a fight or flight state.
34:58
That's incredibly important. So while you're processing these
35:01
emotions, you're not kicking up your parasympathetic nervous
35:06
system, you're not going. And because that is also where
35:08
the trauma is stored, that's why your fight or flight goes off
35:11
every time you get triggered is because you haven't been able to
35:15
experience that emotion in a calm state and process in a calm
35:19
way. But it is incredibly painful.
35:21
Often people cry and but that's helpful and you're really just
35:26
hold yourself through it. Yeah, yeah.
35:29
So guys, the next time you get triggered, the other mentor that
35:34
you, you swallow and you've obviously got so many different
35:39
great teachers because I find the best of them all aides do
35:42
with Teal Swan, the completion process.
35:45
And you're emulating pieces from the best of all these teachers
35:52
and you're bringing them into your own process.
35:56
And I can see how you are enabling people to identify the
36:03
trigger of their emotion by tracking it back.
36:07
So not only are you telling them to face it, feel it, heal it,
36:12
but also identify where it comes from so you can uproot it and
36:17
dissolve it rather. And just ruminating, running
36:21
away from it. And then like a dog returning
36:24
towards vomit, just it's constantly returning.
36:28
And I love how you are really encouraging the audience to
36:33
notice their body and their sensations.
36:37
And really, I think one of the biggest things is what you said
36:42
about validation and being able to let go of judgment.
36:49
It's a really big one, isn't it? Because we are our biggest
36:52
judges on our self and it's just not productive.
36:58
But you also encourage about speaking into the younger
37:02
version of themselves. And I love the way you've said.
37:07
What is it that you want? What is it that you need?
37:09
Is that kind of like where they might not have resources in the
37:15
here and now, in the present, So you go back and you take them
37:19
back to where it's originated and then realize that in a child
37:25
was caught up in this situation that brought about that fear or
37:29
brought about that mistrust or brought about that grief.
37:33
And then is it then that you're saying what does that in a child
37:38
or that younger version of you need?
37:41
Is that where they get the gift from the resources?
37:44
Yeah. So in terms of so the first step
37:48
is awareness and oftentimes is where people can get stuck.
37:52
They can say, oh, I know that I have all this trauma from my
37:55
childhood. I know that I get I had this
37:58
abandonment wound from my father, but they can't get to.
38:02
The second step is always the somatic.
38:05
So this is where it's going in and finding that original moment
38:08
that you felt this way. And then the third step, this is
38:12
where need finding out what your inner child needed in that
38:16
moment that she felt abandoned by her father.
38:19
That is where. And then you take that, you give
38:23
your inner child what you need and then you take that and you
38:26
bring it back into the present moment.
38:28
And so for that it might be comfort.
38:31
So you might need yourself, you might need in terms of say
38:35
little, you just really needed a hug and really needed to be told
38:38
that she was loved. You do that for yourself in the
38:42
present moment. So anytime that you might go on
38:44
a date with a guy and he's emotionally unavailable and he's
38:47
not there and you're attracted to him because of this long term
38:49
pattern that you've had, you've gotten used to having men not be
38:54
there for you because you didn't have a man for you when you were
38:56
a child to show up for you. So you keep attracting that into
38:59
your life. It's in those moments
39:02
recognizing that pattern and then giving yourself what you
39:05
need. So what you're doing is you're
39:06
building your relationship with yourself.
39:09
You're learning to trust yourself again because when your
39:12
father, when you're a child abandoned you, you abandoned
39:14
yourself because it was too emotionally painful for you to
39:18
accept that you felt like you were betrayed by your dad.
39:22
And then that, that is how. And that's where that's the
39:25
painful that that's the hard part people can't accept.
39:28
But then you give that to yourself.
39:30
You give yourself the love, acceptance and presence that
39:33
you've always craved and needed. And you keep giving that to
39:37
yourself in the present moment. So you go through life and you,
39:40
that's how you stop attracting the emotionally unavailable men
39:44
is because you are prison with yourself.
39:46
You're no longer a match for somebody who is not also present
39:49
for you. Oh my gosh, boom, boom right
39:53
there. Wow.
39:55
So here's the juicy part. So we're going to where time has
39:58
just flown by. This has just been so exciting.
40:01
But we're going to now just have a couple of minutes in your
40:05
presence with what you can perhaps move us through in a
40:10
like a release or a meditative process.
40:14
So are you happy? To move us into that comfortable
40:18
place and space and or do you have another modality that you
40:23
feel? Because I really love going by
40:25
what the expert specialist on the show feels that they want to
40:32
bring to the audience. What do you think?
40:35
So in terms of the somatic process that I explained with
40:39
going into your emotions, I can't facilitate that obvious
40:43
ethically. I'd have to have everybody in
40:45
front of me and I'd have to be monitoring them because my job
40:49
is to hold space for you to make sure that you're safe while
40:52
going in into it, especially because it literally is
40:55
psychological surgery. And so there's a lot of care and
40:58
a lot of space that needs to be held in that.
41:00
However, I do have another. This is one that I created,
41:04
which is getting into and opening your heart.
41:08
It's a somatic meditation that opens your heart and everybody
41:10
can do it. It takes about 5 minutes and
41:12
it's a great, yeah, it's a great way for you to connect to
41:15
yourself and your body. Perfect, let's do it because
41:19
we've got about 5 minutes left so that's perfect.
41:21
So if you are driving, firstly, if you want to contact Sophie,
41:26
she has all her contact details in the show notes so you can
41:32
connect with this beautiful lady.
41:35
And if you are driving or you're requiring attention to whatever
41:40
you're doing, we would ask you to perhaps pause and come back
41:44
later to experience this. If you are in a nice space where
41:49
it's quiet and relaxed, sit back and enjoy.
41:53
Over to You, Beautiful Sophie. I do need to pause for just a
41:58
second because I have a Bunny rabbit who is literally trying
42:01
to break into the room and he is trying to gnaw at the door so
42:05
I'm going to go. I love that.
42:08
So guys, this is what it's all about.
42:11
When you are listening live, you are getting the real deal.
42:16
And even if it's rabbits gnoring at the door, I believe there is
42:21
a reason for everything. But that's just gorgeous.
42:24
I love it. Are you ready, Sophie?
42:27
Yes. He wanted to join us in the
42:28
meditation. Absolutely, and I don't blame
42:32
him. OK, so you're going to close
42:34
your eyes and you're going to take a big deep breath in and
42:42
hold and breathe out and hold and breathe in and hold and
43:02
breathe out and hold and breathe in and go back to your regular
43:15
breathing pattern. Just focusing your attention on
43:19
your chest, noticing the rise and fall of your breath, feeling
43:27
it come in through your nose and out through your mouth.
43:29
Just going to sit here a moment, allowing yourself to tune into
43:35
your body. And then you're going to focus
43:50
in on your heart and you're going to imagine your heart.
43:55
There's a flower on your chest, Any flower.
44:00
The first one that comes to mind and the flower is your heart and
44:04
it's just sitting on your chest. See what color it is, what
44:13
petals does it have and then imagine it opening.
44:22
Imagine your flower blooming and your heart is opening and feel
44:32
your body relax as you keep taking those breaths and
44:38
focusing your attention on your chest.
44:42
And when you're ready, you can open your eyes.
44:52
Wow. Wow, I just I got this Crimson
44:57
Rose. Beautiful.
45:01
Sitting right there on my chest and then when you said and I
45:04
couldn't get over the depth of the colour and then it just
45:09
opened up and wow. And it's almost my mind said I
45:15
knew she was going to say that. And so beautiful.
45:19
Thank you so very much. And it just wouldn't be Terry
45:22
Messenger's genius zone without one last question that I always
45:27
love to ask. Because quite often people get
45:30
on to the podcast Momentum Fields that all the spicy stuff
45:34
comes out, they get off and they go, oh, I would love to really
45:41
just mention that or emphasize on that.
45:45
Is there anything that you would like to say or emphasize on what
45:50
you've already said before we conclude?
45:54
I would say with the first one would be with that heart
45:59
meditation. It's a great one to use anytime
46:02
you want to walk out the door and you feel like you want to
46:05
connect to people. So anytime you're going to a
46:08
networking event, anytime that you're meeting a friend, because
46:12
essentially it's just a very quick meditation to help you
46:15
open your heart and open yourself to connection.
46:17
And you can do it. You don't even have to do it in
46:19
that way. You can just imagine the flower
46:21
in your heart blooming and opening and that allows you to
46:25
be more of a magnet to things that you want in your life.
46:29
Oh, thank you for that. I think that might have been a
46:32
very powerful little tip. Sophie, from the bottom of my
46:36
heart, I say thank you so much for bringing such beautiful
46:40
value to our. Audience, thank you for having
46:43
me. It's been such a pleasure
46:44
talking to you, Terry.