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Transcript

Happy Hour #76: An Ace on Our Sleeve · Stuff Mom Never Told You

• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Hey, this is Annie and Samantha, and welcome to stuff
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: I ever told your protection of iHeart radio, and it's
• 0:19
  Speaker 1: time for another happy hour and this one's gonna be
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: mostly happy, although there will be some unhappy parts of it.
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: But mostly happy? Is that another segment? Mostly happy? Mostly
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: it's just me. I like it. I think that's more
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: accurate to most of you, probably probably as always. If
• 0:39
  Speaker 1: you are choosing to drink, please do so responsibly. Uh, Samantha,
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: what are you sipping on? Uh? You know, I discovered
• 0:46
  Speaker 1: the Brooklyn Summer pale Ill and it's nice and crisp
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: in low a b b Uh. It's called the Sunny
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: Pale l and thoroughly. So that's what I'm drinking on today.
• 0:58
  Speaker 1: What about you? Yeah? Well, I just lamented to you
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: that I have no cold drinks available to me right now,
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: so I am drinking boxed red wine in my delicious
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: hot hot studio closet. You can, you know, fancy it up,
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: but I think ice. I've never added ice to straight
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: boxed red wine, and I have to say my immediate
• 1:22
  Speaker 1: reaction is like recoiling drinking box wine, baby bou. I
• 1:28
  Speaker 1: mean no hate on boxed wine. I love some boxed wine.
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: I'm just saying, that's what's making you recoil. I think
• 1:33
  Speaker 1: you'll be okay. But I get you. I get you. Yeah,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: like saying yeah, I get it. I mean it's true,
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: You're right. Maybe I'm drawing lines where they don't need
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: to thank you, thank you. It's not bad, but it
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: is quite hot and I would love a refreshing, cool beverage. Right. Well,
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: so today's Julife fifth. Um, so we're out of Pride month.
• 1:59
  Speaker 1: But I did want to do kind of a little
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: update that I shared with Samantha because it's sort of
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: a powerful moment I experienced recently. Uh, and it happened
• 2:08
  Speaker 1: after we had are now real friends. I r L
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: friend Kay Osborne, who was a guest on this show
• 2:16
  Speaker 1: a couple whiles back. We met at a restaurant. We
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: had a lovely lunch together. Delicious. We did We made
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: a friend as an adult, Samantha, we did it. We
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: did that too. You and I were yes. I mean
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: I like a few of them, and it's nice to have.
• 2:36
  Speaker 1: It is funny though, because it feels like a set
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: up in a weird way. You and I kind of
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: happened naturally, but a lot of times when I've personally
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: made friends as an adult, it's felt kind of like
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: a setup or something. What if they don't like me? Sure?
• 2:52
  Speaker 1: I mean, to be fair, we did sit like we
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: were interviewing Kate at one point, so that was super awkward.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: It was awkward, but it was it turned up to
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: be love plate and it was great. I think we're
• 3:01
  Speaker 1: gonna hang out again, you know, fingers crossed. I don't
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: think she's lying to us, but I hope not. But
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: she posted about, uh, the episode we did together on
• 3:14
  Speaker 1: a D H D in sex and also the episode
• 3:17
  Speaker 1: I was on on her show about just D and
• 3:20
  Speaker 1: D and fangirl stuff. And after that I got a
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: lot of followers. Um a lot. I mean for me
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: a lot. It's like five to ten and that's essentially happened,
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: but yeah, that's a lot mm hmm. And a lot
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: of them we're ACE. They were a sexual uh, and
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: they kind of reached out to me and we're like, oh, hi,
• 3:40
  Speaker 1: I see, you know, nice to meet another person who's ACE.
• 3:44
  Speaker 1: And I broke down into tears about the started crying
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: because I just like it felt like a belonging I
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: haven't felt because I've been I've told people I was
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: queer since high school, but it's always been something where
• 4:04
  Speaker 1: I felt like I'm on the outskirts of it and
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I had no right to claim the label, and like,
• 4:10
  Speaker 1: I don't know, like if I went to a Pride event,
• 4:11
  Speaker 1: they'd see me be like, no, you don't belong here.
• 4:14
  Speaker 1: You are fake. And as I said in many of
• 4:18
  Speaker 1: these episodes, I didn't know a sexuality was a thing
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: until two thousand eleven when I was working on this show.
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: I didn't know like there was a romantic spectrum until
• 4:27
  Speaker 1: even later, I think, And I pretty much came out
• 4:30
  Speaker 1: to you all on this podcast like that was my experience.
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: I have come out to people in person since then,
• 4:37
  Speaker 1: but everyone I've come out to you and this is
• 4:41
  Speaker 1: this is gonna sound kind of bad, but I think
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: it's true. It's partly my fault because I've done it
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: in sort of a cowardly way, like a little back doorway,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: like I don't like sex and that's how identify and
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: a sexuality is a thing, right, And then they'll be
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: like yeah, sure. So it's sort of been like that
• 4:58
  Speaker 1: kind of roundabout method. Um So a lot of people
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: who do know I'm a sexual found out through the show.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: So what I'm saying is basically, I've done it in
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: a kind of an isolated environment, kind of a strange,
• 5:11
  Speaker 1: strange way to do it, but you know, every fretty
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: story is different. I'm a big believer in that. But
• 5:17
  Speaker 1: and also the pandemic hit like soon after, so it's
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: I don't know. I just felt very I'm not sure
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: lonely is the right word. But I've still felt very
• 5:30
  Speaker 1: unsure about it, and like I cut and claim it
• 5:33
  Speaker 1: or someone would tell me I'm wrong, and like that's
• 5:36
  Speaker 1: not a thing which people have. But but after I
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: got all these people and I saw these people following
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: me back or following me, and I was like, oh
• 5:46
  Speaker 1: my god, this is a thing and I've along and
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I could like meet people who are like me and
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: it's not just me, and oh my god, I sobbed.
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: I saw the way and then like I found out,
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: I was so excited it. I almost sent you this
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: very long text and I deleted it because I was like,
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: you need to calm down and think about this first.
• 6:04
  Speaker 1: Come on. This is how I found out about twittles,
• 6:20
  Speaker 1: because I was like, oh, I could put the flag
• 6:22
  Speaker 1: on mine and then on my Twitter account and then
• 6:26
  Speaker 1: I could they would know. But twitterles is a whole thing,
• 6:29
  Speaker 1: that's what they're called. Yeah, you told me about it,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: so we're gonna actually planning an episode on that. But
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: those are basically the icons you can have uh in
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: your Twitter bio and it's kind of a politics game,
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: sort of similar to like emojis about which ones are made,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: aren't um, But I found like the a sexual flag
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: with a bi romantic heart, and it just so happened
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: that night one of my very favorite fan fiction authors
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: wrote a story about someone who is a sexual viromantic
• 6:56
  Speaker 1: and it was so sweet. Oh my gosh. But like
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: I know, the capitalization of Pride month is a whole
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: thing and it's a problem. But I bought a shirt, everybody,
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: I bought a shirt, a sexual Pride shirt, and I
• 7:08
  Speaker 1: bought some pins and I bought a flag. Oh my god,
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: and it was so nice. It was like something was
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: clicking into place where it's sort of just been slightly
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: out of place this whole time. Um and I all
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: of you, we always say it and it's true, but
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: so many of you have written in and you've been
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: so welcoming, and you've told me about your own experience. Um,
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: and even some of you specifically a sexual by romantic
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: experience or a sexual spectrum at all. And it's been
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: so nice. But I've still always felt like I haven't
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: been in this world long and I haven't known my
• 7:45
  Speaker 1: stuff long enough. It's not right for me to claim it.
• 7:48
  Speaker 1: So it's it was just it felt good. It felt good.
• 7:53
  Speaker 1: I got a bunch of pins. We're gonna put them
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: all over. Yeah, it was. It was really nice. It
• 8:01
  Speaker 1: was like an easing of tension, I guess. And all
• 8:04
  Speaker 1: this just came from seeing other people who are identify
• 8:08
  Speaker 1: the same way. UM, so thank you. If you're listening,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: thank you. I'm sure you had no idea that's impact
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: on me, but it did. It did. So Yeah, I'm
• 8:17
  Speaker 1: very excited. My shirts coming in today. Okay, I was
• 8:19
  Speaker 1: gonna say when is it coming in? It's coming in today,
• 8:22
  Speaker 1: and I'm gonna rocket at the beach because I'm about
• 8:25
  Speaker 1: to go to the beach. You got like an ACE
• 8:28
  Speaker 1: card on it. You can take the flag to, yeah, probably,
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: but the whole the flag is a lot of drama people.
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you can imagine why. But I have family
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: members who are not as cool with queer people and
• 8:40
  Speaker 1: it caused there's a lot of gossip in trauma, but
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: they wouldn't know what that flag was. That's say. I
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: wonder how many people would know what it is. I
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: don't think they would know, but they would ask whatever.
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: We'll see how much drama I want to cause on
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: my reach? Oh oh I will, Oh, I will. I'm
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: excited for you to see the shirt. Pretty cool. I
• 9:04
  Speaker 1: think it's pretty cool. I did want to mention very briefly,
• 9:07
  Speaker 1: there has been a lot of sad stuff during Pride
• 9:10
  Speaker 1: this year, where there's violence at Pride events and now
• 9:13
  Speaker 1: with row v weight overturned. I've had a lot of
• 9:15
  Speaker 1: friends who are in gay marriages that are very scared.
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: I've had friends who have come out to their parents
• 9:20
  Speaker 1: recently and partly because of this, and haven't had a
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: great reaction. But um, I don't know. I'm just we
• 9:30
  Speaker 1: should talk about those things, and we will talk about
• 9:31
  Speaker 1: those things. But it is nice to know. But there's
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: a community and there is belonging. And thank you, just
• 9:37
  Speaker 1: thank you, thank you to you Samantha for being so
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: supportive on this whole thing with me listening to we're
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: I'm sure you're like, what is she talking about But
• 9:50
  Speaker 1: I'm telling you it's good. Yes. So, and thank you
• 9:56
  Speaker 1: to all your your listeners because he really helped me
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: and it's just like that get to share this story
• 10:01
  Speaker 1: with all of you. So cheers, cheers, Ran, cheers yes
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: um and as always, we do love hearing from you. UM.
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: If you would like to write to us, you can
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: or emails Stuff Media Mom stuff at I hurt me
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: dot com. You can find us on Twitter at most
• 10:19
  Speaker 1: of podcast or an Instagram at stuff I Never Told You. Thanks.
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: It's always to our super producer Christina. We love you,
• 10:24
  Speaker 1: thank you, we do love you, and thank you. Yes,
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: and thanks to you for listening Stuff under told the Protection,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: But I Heart Radio For more podcast on my heart
• 10:31
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• 10:34
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