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7 Leaks in Your Personal Power That Are Quietly Capping Your Income · Beyond Limits With Olivia Marie

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to Beyond Limits, the podcast designed to unlock your highest potential with powerful strategies, energetic frequencies, and mindset shifts to create a limitless life.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: Each episode dives deep into what it really takes to build a life and business beyond the ordinary standard.
• 0:19
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• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: You'll hear from Trailblazers who have shattered feelings and know what it means to live beyond limits.
• 0:31
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• 0:34
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• 0:38
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• 0:43
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• 0:48
  SPEAKER_01: Hey everyone, welcome back to the Beyond Limits podcast.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: I'm excited to be diving into a new episode for you today, all on the leaks in your personal power, right in your nervous system that are subtly capping your income.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because most income ceilings aren't actually strategy issues.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_01: They're not a lack of implementation or doing.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_01: They are nervous system problems.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you can have all the strategic things in place, but if your nervous system is still leaking conviction, your income will either dip or it'll get capped.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: So today we're going to be walking through a number of leaks and how to know in your personal power whether they are capping your income.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_01: So there's going to be seven we're going to be diving into today, and you can audit yourself for each one of these.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_01: So number one, when business slows, you make it mean something about you.
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_01: This is the first and most common leak of personal power there is, right?
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_01: When business feels slow or the volume of sales isn't what you desire, you make it mean something personally about you.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_01: You don't just register data, but you internalize it, and that's where the leak begins.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: Because neurologically, what's happening is when sales dip, your nervous system doesn't process the numbers, it processes threats.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so your amygdala is scanning, right?
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_01: Is this a loss?
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: Is this unstable?
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_01: Is this a sign that something is wrong?
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_01: And if your identity is still fused with your income, then the brain, right, will link any kind of revenue fluctuation or money fluctuation or sales fluctuation with you being inadequate personally, right?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_01: So your sense of self-worth and self-concept decrease.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_01: So now it's not, well, sales are slow.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's I messed up, I'm missing something, I did something wrong, I'm not good enough.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_01: The threat detection is attaching number fluctuation to identity.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why it's so dangerous to personalize when sales fluctuate.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_01: Like we said, your sense of self-worth and self-concept decrease because your identity is fused with your income.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_01: And what tends to happen is this initiates a shame spiral, right?
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: The moment it becomes personal, shame enters the room.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_01: And shame is not neutral.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_01: Shame will collapse your personal power because, like those questions we asked, you make it like something is wrong with you, you're missing something, you're not enough, etc.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: Shame says, I am the problem.
• 3:34
  SPEAKER_01: And once your nervous system identifies you as the problem, you stop moving from conviction and you start moving from compensation.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: And anything you do from compensation, you might as well not do.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Anything you just do from compensation just begets more compensation.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when this happens, the mind wants to fix.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_01: The mind wants to fix it.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_01: They want to fix what's going on.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_01: What's going on?
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_01: Can I fix it?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_01: Can I change my strategy?
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_01: Can I add in, I don't know, a bonus?
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_01: Can I do this thing?
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what can I do to fix something that is broken?
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_01: The mind wants to control.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_01: The mind wants to soothe.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_01: Because if your mind can soothe by fixing the sales problem, then it gives you the illusion of forward momentum, right?
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, I feel powerful again.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_01: And I guarantee you've done this.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I've done this.
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_01: I understand.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_01: When you feel like something is wrong, it needs to be fixed, then you want to soothe that.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_01: Because, oh, if I can soothe this feeling that I need to fix something, if I can go and maybe make another post or send this other email or do this thing, then I feel like I've maybe solved the problem.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 4:55
  SPEAKER_01: And this is where that classic nervous system response shows up.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's only natural to want to soothe the feeling.
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: It's quote unquote natural to go into that micromanaging and control because your nervous system is trying to solve the problem.
• 5:11
  SPEAKER_01: What if there was never a problem?
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 5:14
  SPEAKER_01: The only quote-unquote problem was the fact that you linked your power and your identity, your self-worth and self-concept to what numbers and money are doing in the business.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to dive into the two common response patterns that happen when this goes on, because there are two.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_01: And you might, you might do both, right?
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: You might be someone who mainly does pattern one, you might be someone who mainly does pattern two, or you'll be someone who does pattern one, pattern two, pattern one, pattern two.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_01: So the first pattern I want you to look out for when this happens, right?
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_01: When the numbers are doing these things and you're feeling that is something missing?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_01: Am I doing it wrong?
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta fix this, is the flight response, right?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: So when we talk about the nervous system, we've got four responses: fight, flight, freeze, fawn.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: This is flight.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_01: We are running away.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: What happens?
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_01: You withdraw, you get quiet, you lean out of your business, you stop posting as boldly, you stop selling as much, you hesitate before sharing your offers, you overthink instead of lead.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_01: This is your nervous system trying to reduce exposure, right?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_01: Because it feels threatened.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_01: It feels like, oh my God, something is happening that I don't desire.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_01: The quote unquote best way to minimize it is to lean out.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: If sales feel unsafe, visibility starts to feel unsafe.
• 6:36
  SPEAKER_01: So you shrink, not consciously, but biologically, it's going to make you shrink.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_01: And when you shrink, you lose power because conviction requires presence.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 6:47
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll know this because as soon as they're like, ooh, you're like, oh, and you'll name it resting.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_01: And this will happen.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_01: I think about a few clients, and it's so fun with my clients, especially when they're in long-term mentorship with me for you know, six months, a year.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_01: I know their patterns, right?
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_01: I know if it's Susie, I know she tends to withdraw.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: If it's Sally, I know she tends to overwork and push.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_01: And so I get to know people's patterns that we then dissolve and what their default normally goes into.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: But when you withdraw, right, and you flight, the conviction goes down.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_01: Because you lost the conviction that was contingent on something outside of you.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I want to get into pattern two because pattern two is also very important.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_01: Pattern two is that fight response.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: So I want to think a little bit like fighting.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_01: You overcorrect, you start pushing, you get reactive, you try to win the moment.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, all right, it's not doing what I want.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: You but it's like this urgency, it's not this clean forward momentum of like, we are a vibe, we are not stopping, we're not dropping our power.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_01: But it's like the I need to win this moment.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because if I can win this moment, if I can push and get a response, if I can push and then a sale comes in, if I can do this thing and then like the algorithm rewards me, then it would soothe that feeling.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_01: And that's why you scramble or you change the messaging, or like any kind of moving from pressure instead of precision.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why actions that you take from pressure, when you move from compensation, when we move from fight mode, you end up burning so much more energy that doesn't yet, it's not gonna yield more results for you because of the frequency you moved from.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: So it feels very productive to move from this fight mode.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_01: But what happens is you get an exhausted nervous system because you can only fight for so long.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_01: And eventually, you know, you're biochemically, you're gonna get this surge of adrenaline, right?
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_01: The adrenaline's gonna kick in, you're like, I'm gonna push.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_01: And it feels powerful at first.
• 8:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's power, it's this illusion of power because it feels productive.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_01: But eventually you crash because it's compensation, right?
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_01: And compensation leaks power just as much as withdrawal.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: So you might think, well, being in fight mode is better than flighting.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_01: Where we want clean action, we want power that's not moving from pressure or urgency, but from certainty and knowing, right?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: Conviction is that you can feel the difference in your body when you are moving from a fight response of like I'm trying to fix something, or if I just try to jiggle the simulation a bit, maybe like an apple will fall from the tree, right?
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_01: Something will fall in.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: Then, oh, I'm just not reacting to my reality and I'm moving with power no matter what.
• 9:38
  SPEAKER_01: It feels more landed in your body.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: So I want you to get to know, you know, which of these is your normally your default, especially when it comes to power.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Are you a flight or are you a fight?
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_01: Or maybe you fight until the adrenaline wears off and then you withdraw.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: The key is here is that both responses are attempting to soothe that feeling, right?
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_01: That feeling of not being enough, of needing to fix it, if something is wrong.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: None of them are leading from identity.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so the moment, right, your movement, i.e.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: what you do, is about soothing your nervous system instead of expressing your conviction, your income will reflect that because sales respond to coherence.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_01: So when your nervous system is stable, you hold your standards, right?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_01: When your nervous system is reactive, you leak certainty.
• 10:29
  SPEAKER_01: You leak conviction.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_01: But certainty is what the sales flood in.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_01: It is not, oh, I am certain when everything is sunshine and rainbows, and it's the highest cash day ever, and someone just paid you 30 grand or 50 grand or whatever it is.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_01: It's I'm certain no matter what, and I can stay in the center of my field.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: I can stay on, you know, the throne of my power, and I don't withdraw when it gets quiet, but I don't go into urgency either.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_01: So you can see how fight and flight are kind of opposite ends of the same spectrum.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_01: We don't want to be in either, we want to be in our power in the middle where we're not leaning one way or the other.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now I want to talk about the ceiling pattern that happens with this, because if either of these patterns repeat enough times, your brain, your nervous system learns something very dangerous, which is when sales drop or sales dip, I collapse or compensate.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_01: Now your nervous system associates expansion with instability.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_01: So it unconsciously will start to prefer a capped predictable level.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_01: Not because you can't grow, but because your system doesn't trust itself to stay regulated when things fluctuate.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_01: And things are always going to fluctuate.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: Not every day, every month is going to be higher and higher and higher.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_01: Yes, overall, if we were to zoom out and look at your income, like we want the steady increase.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_01: But if you were to zoom in on the graph, it would be up a little down, a little up, a little down.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_01: Nobody's graph doesn't have those fluctuations.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember I heard this story about Coca-Cola.
• 12:09
  SPEAKER_01: And it really, I think it was like three years ago, and it really put something in perspective for me.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: But it was about Coca-Cola and their income fluctuating like five million dollars quarter to quarter.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_01: And here we are freaking out.
• 12:23
  SPEAKER_01: If one month is like 10 grand less than the other month, or like this week I've made$1,000 less than the next week.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, true.
• 12:31
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't hold your personal power, if income fluctuates a little, like I know, a few thousand dollars, and here Coca-Cola is with a five million dollar swing.
• 12:40
  SPEAKER_01: Well, then that makes sense, right?
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_01: You need to be able to have personal power no matter what is going on, right?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: To have those fluctuations, not then make something mean about you with you then withdrawing or going to fight mode.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: And so I find this so interesting is sometimes we need bigger examples like that to put it in perspective of when we're like, it's a like slower, and it's like, we're we're building empires, we're building legacies.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_01: That is going to happen.
• 13:08
  SPEAKER_01: There will be fluctuations, but overall, we're on the up and up.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: So how do we reclaim our power?
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: Because by now you're like, okay, live, I get it.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: There are leaks in my personal power.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_01: How do I correct that?
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_01: The shift isn't stay positive.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_01: And I think this is where a lot of people, when it comes to personal power, is just like, hold the energy, hold the power.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I find that very unhelpful, but it's also not just about hold the energy, hold the power.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_01: What it's really about is when business slows, can you stay self-referenced?
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: Can you process numbers as data instead of identity?
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_01: Can your nervous system stay solid long enough to move cleanly?
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_01: That's the shift, especially with this, you know, with all personal power, but we're still thinking about like this number one leak, is staying self-referenced, processing numbers as data, not identity, and moving cleanly.
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 14:18
  SPEAKER_01: That's power in this situation.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: So that's how you're gonna like correct this.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_01: The power is held consistently, and that's what raises ceilings.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_01: So leak number two is when projection makes you waver.
• 14:31
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_01: So this leak is all about when people project onto you, you take it personally, and then your nervous system wobbles.
• 14:41
  unknown: Right.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: When someone projects onto you, whether it's a money objection or projection, uh, this is too much, someone disagrees with what you're saying, someone's passive-aggressive towards you, someone's silent after you raise your standards, whatever it is, it makes you waver.
• 14:57
  SPEAKER_01: That is a leak.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because projection only destabilizes you if your nervous system is still sourcing power externally.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: If you weren't sourcing your power externally, the projections wouldn't do anything.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: They would run off you like Teflon.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_01: While we don't want Teflon on our cooking dishes because toxic, we do want our nervous systems to be like Teflon.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: We do want to be able to handle projections and have them just slide off.
• 15:24
  SPEAKER_01: Because the truth of the matter is, is that if you are, and I know you are because you're watching this on YouTube or you're listening to this on Apple or Spotify, if you are, you are a powerful woman.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_01: Powerful women naturally get projections.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_01: You will get projections from, you know, random people on the internet, from friends, from family, sometimes to your face, sometimes not.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: But either way, as you grow and expand, anyone who's doing something extraordinary gets projections.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: The duality is you will get more people who love you and more people who kind of like hate you and project onto you.
• 15:58
  SPEAKER_01: You get both.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: But so often what happens is people avoid projections.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: I kind of like projections.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_01: When I get like a surge of projections, I know I'm doing something right.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_01: I know I'm going to my next level.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: And this actually happened to me around November when I was claiming my next quantum leap.
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_01: It was November of 20, like last November, 2025.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was running this incredible program, The Prelude, which was like the prelude to the quantum leap.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: It was amazing.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so many of you, so many of you that adored that program.
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: If you haven't joined that yet, you'll get access to all of the trainings.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_01: We'll link that below.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I was sharing how I made this big claim and I knew it was my quantum leap.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_01: And I started getting these two people who don't follow me.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: One of them I think is a multi-seven, the other one's an eight-figure business owner.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: And they would come in and they'd like my stories and they'd like my posts, and one of them coaches the other one.
• 16:57
  SPEAKER_01: I learned when I went to like go look at their stuff.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, the eight-figure coach coaches the multi-seven.
• 17:03
  SPEAKER_01: And they'd come like my stories and they'd like my posts.
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_01: And then that day or the next day, they'd make a post quoting one of my stuff and tearing me down.
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_01: Or being like, you can't just regulate your nervousness.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: And like, well, they just literally quoting what I said and trying to use it against me.
• 17:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought, hmm, that's interesting.
• 17:21
  SPEAKER_01: I claim a leap, and then all of a sudden, like I have specific people making like posts about me.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_01: I'm like, oh, wonderful.
• 17:29
  SPEAKER_01: That means I'm rising into a new level of power.
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I was talking about this in the prelude and it makes me giggle because I always see this.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: Anytime I'm going to a next level, there has to be both.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 17:40
  SPEAKER_01: But if you're sitting there and you're like, well, uh live, I want the growth.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: I want the income growth.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: I want the money to grow.
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_01: I want the sales to grow, but I don't want any more projections.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, you can't.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like you have to give it's both and right.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: The person who rises is able to handle those projections or people doing things like that.
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: And you kind of laugh it off.
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_01: It runs off you like Teflon.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm like, oh, that means I made it.
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: And one of the reasons this is so important is when someone disagrees with you, right?
• 18:09
  SPEAKER_01: Your nervous system, your amygdala scan for three things.
• 18:13
  SPEAKER_01: Am I being rejected?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_01: Am I excluded?
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: And am I unsafe?
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, in this case, I was everily rejected and excluded.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_01: But my system knew I was safe.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_01: And humans evolve right in tribes, right?
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: If you look at evolution, we evolved in community.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_01: We relied on community to survive.
• 18:35
  SPEAKER_01: Some people got the water, some people did the planting, pieces of meal, the harvesting and the cooking, whatever it is.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: So rejection is coded in our nervous system to mean survival risk.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Our nervous system has not yet caught up capacity-wise with dealing with social media.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Our brains are still thinking well, if Sally in my tribe rejects me, I'm potentially out there having to grow my own food, find my own food, cook my own food, raise my own children all by myself.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_01: And so it's quote unquote natural for your brain to proceed it that way.
• 19:10
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why rewiring your nervous system is so important for success and growing your business.
• 19:16
  SPEAKER_01: Because if your power is conditional and your brain is still wired to resolve that threat by making yourself smaller or dimming your power, you're never going to be able to transcend to that next level, right?
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because it's always going to protect you from being rejected or being excluded because it's marking that as unsafe.
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_01: What we need to do is we need to rewire your brain to not perceive being rejected, excluded, potentially canceled as unsafe.
• 19:43
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I want you to be on the lookout of two common responses that happen when you're worried about projections or you know, you're receiving projections from other people.
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that is number one, you shrink, right?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_01: So you soften your truth, you dilute your message, you become more palatable, right?
• 20:02
  SPEAKER_01: You don't like, it doesn't become the hill that you die on.
• 20:07
  SPEAKER_01: Or two, you overexplain, right?
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_01: You justify, you defend, you try to win them over.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to notice maybe you do one of these, maybe you do both of these.
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_01: Maybe in certain scenarios with certain people, you over-explain, justify, defend.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_01: And with other people, you shrink and you soften your truth.
• 20:26
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, I don't really need that, I don't really need that.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_01: Both are attempts to restore your power, but neither of them actually do.
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_01: This kind of goes back to what we were talking about earlier in terms of the soothing.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_01: Both of them try to soothe that feeling of like, oh, power, but they don't actually give you power.
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_01: You stop operating as who you are, and you start operating as who you believe they will approve of, but they just end up projecting onto you for something else.
• 20:53
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the thing.
• 20:54
  SPEAKER_01: Even when you shrink or overexplain, no matter how you try to contort yourself, they're gonna find something.
• 21:02
  SPEAKER_01: You could say, live the best fruit on this earth, or oranges, and someone's gonna be like, How dare you?
• 21:09
  SPEAKER_01: Apples are by far the best.
• 21:11
  SPEAKER_01: Can you believe she thinks oranges are the best fruit?
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you end up just getting resentful and you end up then tiptoeing around everything, and you become some sort of watered-down vanilla version, and nobody knows who you are and what you stand for.
• 21:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the thing, right?
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: Any woman in her power, A, doesn't need everyone else to agree with her, and B, can recognize other people in their power, even if you don't agree with that.
• 21:35
  SPEAKER_01: And this is important because in the world of social media, there are things I see every single day that truths that I don't agree with.
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_01: But if that's your truth and you're solid in it, I don't like it doesn't really affect me.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_01: I don't need to project onto someone else if they don't have the same truth.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: And the reason this caps your income, right, is because income responds to certainty.
• 21:57
  SPEAKER_01: So projection makes you wobble in your certainty.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: When your personal power is conditional on people outside of you.
• 22:03
  SPEAKER_01: People feel that micro wobble.
• 22:06
  SPEAKER_01: It doesn't matter if you fix the words, your nervous system has shifted.
• 22:10
  SPEAKER_01: And then buyers don't move towards wobble.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: People move towards people who are certain.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_01: Even if you don't agree, even if they don't agree with you, they would rather you be more certain.
• 22:21
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the thing.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_01: They will always move towards someone who is more certain than not, even if they don't agree with what you are certain in.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: Because their system, right, is regulating to your system.
• 22:33
  SPEAKER_01: The human nervous system will always co-regulate, where we got mirror neurons that are always going to seek to regulate towards someone who is certain, no matter what.
• 22:43
  SPEAKER_01: And this is why having a strong opinion, right, being in your power of whatever you believe or whatever your message is and what you're seeking to do on this world is so important.
• 22:53
  SPEAKER_01: Because people will move towards that.
• 22:55
  SPEAKER_01: And then you'll also have people who come with you on that, who, yes, believe in it, who are like, yes, I strongly believe in that as well.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_01: Because your system will still prioritize belonging over that.
• 23:08
  SPEAKER_01: So this is the upgrade for this number two leak in personal power, right?
• 23:12
  SPEAKER_01: Because power is not when no one projects.
• 23:14
  SPEAKER_01: People will always project, no matter what you say, even if you try to contort, even if you try to say something really, you know, vanilla-like, you should get a lot of protein.
• 23:25
  SPEAKER_01: Someone's gonna be upset.
• 23:27
  SPEAKER_01: But power is when projection doesn't move your center, right?
• 23:31
  SPEAKER_01: When your nervous system can register that's theirs, not mine, without defending, without shrinking, without compensating, and without softening your standards, right?
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_01: Without playing down.
• 23:44
  SPEAKER_01: I think about even I was on a client call last week, and we were speaking about conviction and power.
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_01: And we're really working like in this season with her on her personal power.
• 23:55
  SPEAKER_01: And we talked about something as simple as she was out to dinner with a group of friends, and there are friends that are through her husband, and she's, you know, gluten-free, she's into health and everything like that.
• 24:09
  SPEAKER_01: But she noticed that those are her standards.
• 24:11
  SPEAKER_01: She she values her health, she values her body.
• 24:14
  SPEAKER_01: And she noticed how when she went out with these people, she wanted to fit in with the other like wives.
• 24:20
  SPEAKER_01: She wanted to be part of the group.
• 24:22
  SPEAKER_01: And so because everyone else was eating gluten, she abandoned herself and she's like, Well, I'm just gonna eat it because I don't want to be inconvenient and I essentially want to be part of the group, all right?
• 24:32
  SPEAKER_01: I want to belong to the tribe.
• 24:33
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_01: So we can see how, yes, it can be in things like your message on the internet and what you're posting, but it's also how do you behave when you're out with friends at dinner?
• 24:43
  SPEAKER_01: How do you behave at the grocery store?
• 24:46
  SPEAKER_01: How do you behave with your parents?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to notice where your standards and your power softens on different rooms.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh, I can be this way on the internet, or I can be this way with my husband, but when my parents come, all right, then I soften that.
• 25:01
  SPEAKER_01: Or if someone pushes up against, well, then I drop things, then I then I shrink, then I defend myself.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_01: And actually, as we speak about defending, I we were talking about this with her of her need to over justify or over-explain, you know, why she's not eating gluten, or also like why she's not drinking as much.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: She chose, you know, not to be drinking on this trip versus previously when she met up with them, she was drinking.
• 25:26
  SPEAKER_01: She said, Oh, trying not to go into over-explaining of like why she's not drinking and et cetera, and all this.
• 25:32
  SPEAKER_01: So when you really think about this, you'll start to notice these ways uh that you're respect or responding to projections and dropping your power.
• 25:42
  SPEAKER_01: The number three power leak that is capping your income is you need immediate validation in order to feel safe.
• 25:51
  SPEAKER_01: And in a world that is addicted to dopamine hits, this can be challenging, right?
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because if engagement is low or responses are quiet or you post and sales don't immediately come in that day or that week, notice where your system wobbles.
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 26:09
  SPEAKER_01: You you post something or you even post something maybe bold or try something new or new offer this thing, and then you refresh and you check and you monitor and you scan.
• 26:20
  SPEAKER_01: And if sales are flooding in, right?
• 26:23
  SPEAKER_01: If people were like, oh my god, this is amazing, like, like, like amazing, amazing, amazing, you'd you'd feel regulated.
• 26:29
  SPEAKER_01: You'd feel in your power.
• 26:31
  SPEAKER_01: You're actually not regulated.
• 26:32
  SPEAKER_01: You just have a dopamine hit that's giving you the illusion of power.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_01: But if that was low, right?
• 26:37
  SPEAKER_01: If you had a masterclass and no one signed up right away, well, then you'd spiral, right?
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: If you launch a thing and no one bought right away, you'd crumble.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: You'd doubt yourself.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_01: You go back into what's wrong with me?
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_01: What am I missing?
• 26:49
  SPEAKER_01: What do I need to fix?
• 26:50
  SPEAKER_01: And moving from compensation, right?
• 26:52
  SPEAKER_01: You don't just observe the data again, you internalize it.
• 26:56
  SPEAKER_01: And what's happening neurologically is your nervous system is treating validation as a safety signal, which means you're only going to feel safe when there's that validation.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_01: But humans evolved to equate inclusion, right, with safety.
• 27:11
  SPEAKER_01: Exclusion equals threat.
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_01: We've talked about that.
• 27:13
  SPEAKER_01: But if you always need that validation to feel safe, then your power is going to be conditional.
• 27:18
  SPEAKER_01: So when the response is quiet, right, your amygdala goes on red alert.
• 27:23
  SPEAKER_01: It starts asking, are we being rejected?
• 27:26
  SPEAKER_01: Are we losing status?
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_01: And are we safe?
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so your body doesn't experience that lack of validation or that low engagement as neutral.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_01: It experiences it as a social threat.
• 27:39
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is where we go into those two common nervous system responses, either the flight, where you end up withdrawing and posting less and softening your voice and questioning your message and your positioning, or you go into the fight response where you over-post, you over-explain, you over-correct your messaging, or you chase engagement.
• 28:00
  SPEAKER_01: Both of these are attempts to regulate discomfort, right?
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: To soothe that feeling out, but neither are actually rooted in conviction.
• 28:08
  SPEAKER_01: And this ends up leaking power because the moment validation regulates you, you are no longer self-referenced, right?
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_01: Your reference is no longer just within you because your power has become conditional and external.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_01: Your nervous system is saying, well, I'll believe I'm powerful once they respond.
• 28:27
  SPEAKER_01: That is a leak because now your power depends on applause.
• 28:31
  SPEAKER_01: Now your power depends on things outside of you.
• 28:34
  SPEAKER_01: And if that fluctuates, right, if the validation fluctuates or the applause fluctuates, well, then so does your power and your conviction.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_01: But then so will your income, so will your sales, right?
• 28:45
  SPEAKER_01: If engagement and validation determines your internal state, your consistency will always be unstable.
• 28:51
  SPEAKER_01: Buyers feel stability.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_01: They don't consciously think it, but their nervous systems register it.
• 28:58
  SPEAKER_01: Unconsciously, we have co-regulation going on.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_01: We have mirror neurons.
• 29:03
  SPEAKER_01: So someone else's neurons in their body are trying to mirror yours.
• 29:07
  SPEAKER_01: So if yours is wobbly, if your power, your energy shifts based on feedback, your frequency shifts.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_01: And sales respond to a frequency that is stable, to power that is stable.
• 29:18
  SPEAKER_01: This brings us to number four.
• 29:20
  SPEAKER_01: So the fourth power leak is you end up over-explaining your decisions.
• 29:26
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a subtle leak that a lot of high-functioning, especially women, don't catch, which is you make a decision and then you explain it.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_01: Not once, but you know, but preemptively, in detail, with context, with reasoning, with justification.
• 29:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, I'm raising my prices because I'm pivoting because.
• 29:51
  SPEAKER_01: I know this might sound crazy, but you know, just to clarify, all of that clarification, that because that's a leak.
• 30:00
  SPEAKER_01: And you'll notice where you're doing this, where you announce something powerful and then immediately try to soften it.
• 30:07
  SPEAKER_01: Immediately try to justify it, right?
• 30:10
  SPEAKER_01: And you add context to make it more digestible, or you explain the reasoning so that people don't misinterpret, right?
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that is why you are doing it.
• 30:18
  SPEAKER_01: You are adding it in so that hopefully people will understand you, they won't misinterpret you, or you're justifying the decision so that people don't feel blindsided, right?
• 30:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you can preempt their objections right before they arise, then you can be quote unquote safe.
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_01: So on the surface, this looks good.
• 30:39
  SPEAKER_01: This is like, yeah, I'm preemptive.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: But underneath, it's your nervous system trying to prevent rejection.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I remember when I was pivoting from like bloating and hormones to this, I never did any kind of justification.
• 30:54
  SPEAKER_01: I never said, I know this is crazy, but I'm doing this, and here's what I'm doing because of this, or I'm raising my prices because, or none of that.
• 31:03
  SPEAKER_01: Because I wasn't looking for anything outside of me to confirm it.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: But what's going on in your nervous system, right, when you are overexplaining is this preemptive threat response, right?
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: Your brain predicts potential disapproval because your amygdala is trying to flag.
• 31:19
  SPEAKER_01: Will this create tension?
• 31:21
  SPEAKER_01: Will this cause rejection?
• 31:23
  SPEAKER_01: And will this shift the status in the group?
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 31:26
  SPEAKER_01: Before any real rejection occurs, your nervous system is trying to neutralize the threat.
• 31:32
  SPEAKER_01: So you add explanation.
• 31:34
  SPEAKER_01: A great example that I mentioned in some previous podcasts when we were speaking about money, but it's a perfect example here is I manifested this, but I also worked really hard.
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 31:45
  SPEAKER_01: People add that in because they think, well, if I just own that I manifested that, I might cause rejection.
• 31:52
  SPEAKER_01: I might create tension for people.
• 31:54
  SPEAKER_01: So they need to overexplain and justify and drop their power.
• 31:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because like, well, if they understand, right, if I can preemptively plan that they might, you know, project onto me that I didn't work hard, let me just add in this thing that I also worked really hard so that I won't be rejected by people and you know, people won't have a problem.
• 32:12
  SPEAKER_01: But the problem is that that's actually a dip in personal power.
• 32:16
  SPEAKER_01: That's you dropping your power and your authority because you want to be understood, because you think, oh, I don't want to cause any rejection.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_01: Let me keep the status quo in the group.
• 32:26
  SPEAKER_01: And this is another one of those fond responses, right?
• 32:29
  SPEAKER_01: It's not necessarily a full-blown panic, it's not a full collapse, but it's this subtle appeasement, right?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_01: Of trying to control the room before it reacts.
• 32:40
  SPEAKER_01: And it comes from an unsafe nervous system, right?
• 32:42
  SPEAKER_01: A nervous system that isn't fully in its power, that isn't fully free, but isn't fully sovereign will always try to control the room before it reacts to give it that illusion of safety.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 32:53
  SPEAKER_01: So you soften the impact, you make yourself more reasonable, you make yourself more digestible, more explainable.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_01: And the moment you do that, you lower your voltage, you lower your power, you lower the power of your decision and whatever you're saying, your stance, and over-explaining sends out this unconscious signal.
• 33:10
  SPEAKER_01: It basically says, I need you to agree with me.
• 33:13
  SPEAKER_01: That is outsourced authority, that is conditional personal power, right?
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_01: Where you defend before being attacked, right?
• 33:21
  SPEAKER_01: Because you lack that internal power and people feel that.
• 33:24
  SPEAKER_01: Not necessarily always consciously, but unconsciously.
• 33:28
  SPEAKER_01: Although now, after this episode, you're gonna go and you're gonna see on the internet where people are softening their power.
• 33:33
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, is that when it comes to money, when it comes to sales, sales respond to conviction.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_01: Conviction doesn't overexplain, right?
• 33:41
  SPEAKER_01: If every price raise or pivot or boundary is wrapped up in layers of justification, then you subtly teach people that, well, this is negotiable, this needs to be validated, I'm actually not fully anchored in my power.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 33:56
  SPEAKER_01: And that negotiable energy caps sales, right?
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_01: Unconditional personal power raises it.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_01: So the upgrade for this is to make the decision and be clear.
• 34:07
  SPEAKER_01: With no paragraph of justification, no emotional cushioning, right?
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_01: No apology, you let the silence do its work.
• 34:15
  SPEAKER_01: You let people process, you let them project if necessary, you let discomfort exist and you let your nervous system learn I can survive without explaining myself.
• 34:27
  SPEAKER_01: And that is power that doesn't leak.
• 34:29
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's move on to power leak number five, which is you soften your standards around people you like.
• 34:39
  SPEAKER_01: This one is quiet.
• 34:41
  SPEAKER_01: This one is it's chances are it's happening and you don't even realize it.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_01: You soften your standards around people you know, people you look up to, people you like, but you can hold them around people you either don't really know or don't like, right?
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_01: People you're neutral for, like you've never met them before, or you're like, uh, doesn't matter.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_01: This is huge.
• 35:06
  SPEAKER_01: And what this looks like is you extend deadlines, right, for clients that you like or enjoy, right?
• 35:13
  SPEAKER_01: You lower requirements for people like you like or enjoy, you ignore subtle red flags, right?
• 35:20
  SPEAKER_01: You let them get away with certain behavior.
• 35:22
  SPEAKER_01: You say yes when you actually feel a no in your body, right?
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_01: You tolerate behavior you wouldn't normally accept.
• 35:30
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, because it's so and so, I tolerate this behavior.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: I wouldn't normally do this, but because it's so and so, then you do it.
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 35:37
  SPEAKER_01: You over-accommodate to maintain some sort of connection and you justify it with it's fine, it's not that big of a deal, it's fine.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: It's you know, it's so and so, it's Susie, so we'll do it.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_01: But afterwards, there's tension.
• 35:52
  SPEAKER_01: Afterwards, there's irritation.
• 35:54
  SPEAKER_01: You will probably feel resentment, especially if you do this multiple times over time with different people, you'll feel resentment.
• 36:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 36:01
  SPEAKER_01: You would have done it, and then you feel bad afterwards, like, oh, this is annoying or this is heavy.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: That resentment is information.
• 36:10
  SPEAKER_01: And what's happening here in your nervous system is that relationships, right, relational bonds regulate your nervous system, right?
• 36:16
  SPEAKER_01: When we have connection, we have safety.
• 36:18
  SPEAKER_01: So when a situation potentially threatens that relationship, right, threatens the harmony in it, threatens the peace, if you will, your nervous system will prioritize preserving the connection, preserving the relationship over preserving your standard.
• 36:34
  unknown: Right?
• 36:34
  SPEAKER_01: Your brain registers, well, if I enforce this boundary, I risk tension.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: If I risk tension, I risk belonging.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: Too big of a risk, let's just abandon ourselves and abandon our power.
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 36:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because, like we know historically, belonging meant survival.
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 36:50
  SPEAKER_01: Historically, we were in tribes, we need other people to survive.
• 36:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in our day and age, less true, but our brains, our nervous systems have not caught up to that yet.
• 36:58
  SPEAKER_01: So your system tries to choose harmony over integrity, right?
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: Over integrity with yourself, your brain, your positioning.
• 37:06
  SPEAKER_01: And the thing is, is that it's actually not fair to everybody else.
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 37:10
  SPEAKER_01: When you make exceptions for Sally and Susie because you know and like them, but you don't hold the same boundary and standard with everyone else, that's actually a lack of integrity for you.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_01: You imagine if you make exceptions for some people and then other people, and then they found out like that's that's incongruent.
• 37:29
  SPEAKER_01: Miss is also very much a fawn mode, right?
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: We spoke a lot about fight and flight earlier.
• 37:34
  SPEAKER_01: A couple of these power leaks have been fawned.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_01: This is another leak that is a fawn mode because you go to smooth things over, to minimize any kind of discomfort, to adjust yourself, or you override that internal no.
• 37:48
  unknown: Right.
• 37:49
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't feel dramatic.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_01: You think you're being kind, but kindness without standards is actually just self-abandonment.
• 37:55
  SPEAKER_01: And self-abandonment leaks power.
• 37:57
  SPEAKER_01: And it also ends up leaking respect.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 38:00
  SPEAKER_01: Because if you say this is the standard, but then you you're always lowering it, why would people respect you?
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_01: Every time you soften your standard to preserve comfort, your nervous system learns my truth is negotiable and you weaken your internal power, right?
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_01: Because the same nervous system that's softening these boundaries, it's gonna soften other times.
• 38:21
  SPEAKER_01: It's gonna soften your pricing, it's gonna soften your expectations, it's gonna soften your positioning.
• 38:27
  SPEAKER_01: And if your standards fluctuate based on how much you like someone, your business will become emotionally inconsistent.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_01: But consistency is what builds trust.
• 38:36
  SPEAKER_01: Trust builds income.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_01: But if you have an emotionally inconsistent business, so is gonna be your income.
• 38:43
  SPEAKER_01: Your sales are gonna be inconsistent as well.
• 38:45
  SPEAKER_01: If you overgive, overextend, under enforce, under price, under, you know, uh match your standards, you're gonna feel resentment.
• 38:57
  SPEAKER_01: And resentment is a nervous system signal that you betrayed your own boundary.
• 39:00
  SPEAKER_01: The upgrade here is can you hold standards even when you like someone?
• 39:06
  SPEAKER_01: Can you enforce deadlines without apology?
• 39:10
  SPEAKER_01: Can you say this is the container or this is the price, or like this is this is what it is, without explaining or softening it.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to add in one more example is notice not just with people you like, but with people you really value.
• 39:26
  SPEAKER_01: Like if there is someone you really look up to and they were to email you or slide into your DMs, and you'd be like, oh my God, it's so and so, would you hold the same standards as you do for every other client or opportunity?
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_01: Would you hold the same boundaries?
• 39:48
  unknown: Right?
• 39:48
  SPEAKER_01: If that person that you really value, and you were like, some of that it would shock you.
• 39:52
  SPEAKER_01: You're like, oh my God, so-and-so wants to hire me.
• 39:54
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, first of all, it shouldn't shock you.
• 39:56
  SPEAKER_01: We'll talk about that in different episodes of your personal power and pedestaling, but whoever it is, someone you really value, they were to come into your DMs and they were like, Well, uh, I want to hire you, but I want to pay you this much, and I I want you to have a 24-hour turnaround, or I want you to take a call at midnight or whatever it is, something that would be outside of your boundaries and standards, would you bend?
• 40:21
  SPEAKER_01: Would you make an exception?
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: Like if Layla Hermosis slid into my DMs and was like, I want to hire you, I guarantee you my standards and would be the same for her as it is for my clients that have been with me for years, as it would be for my clients who joined me last week, who just started with me last week.
• 40:40
  SPEAKER_01: It would be the same.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_01: There is emotional inconsistency.
• 40:44
  SPEAKER_01: I would not waver.
• 40:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I actually think about this.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_01: There was a time early in my business, I think about this celebrity client I had who late on a Friday asked me if I can meet for a session that next morning, like that next Saturday morning.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_01: And I don't take calls on Saturdays.
• 41:03
  SPEAKER_01: I also had somewhere I was going, I'd have to like, I was leaving for some sort of trip or something.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_01: I don't remember where I was going, but I I had to leave early in the morning.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_01: And I thought about, oh my God, this is a celebrity, this is so and so.
• 41:16
  SPEAKER_01: I remember struggling with my body.
• 41:17
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, do I do I give in?
• 41:20
  SPEAKER_01: Do I hold my power or do I make an exception be because it's so and so?
• 41:26
  SPEAKER_01: And I didn't.
• 41:28
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, this is hard.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta hold the standard.
• 41:32
  SPEAKER_01: I gotta stay in my power.
• 41:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I did.
• 41:36
  SPEAKER_01: And she respected me more for it.
• 41:38
  SPEAKER_01: And she referred me to people she knew.
• 41:40
  SPEAKER_01: But I can guarantee there are people or times that that would happen to you, and you would just make the exception, you would just do it anyways, and you abandon your power.
• 41:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, power leak number six is that you confuse urgency with power, right?
• 41:58
  SPEAKER_01: You move from pressure instead of conviction.
• 42:01
  SPEAKER_01: So, what this looks like is sales slow, right?
• 42:05
  SPEAKER_01: You feel it in your body, kind of linked to the first power leak we were talking about, but then you end up launching something, you add urgency, you change your messaging, you offer a bonus, you you create some sort of scarcity.
• 42:17
  SPEAKER_01: It feels like momentum, but it's actually reactivity, right?
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_01: That urgency is at sympathetic activation.
• 42:24
  SPEAKER_01: It's your nervous system getting dysregulated because your amygdala senses some sort of resource threat.
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so your system mobilizes, right?
• 42:34
  SPEAKER_01: Your nervous system gets dysregulated.
• 42:37
  SPEAKER_01: That dysregulation can feel powerful, right?
• 42:39
  SPEAKER_01: Because that surge of urgency is some adrenaline, some cortisol, but it's survival energy, not leadership energy.
• 42:47
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 42:48
  SPEAKER_01: So you move fast, you force things, but it works only in the short term.
• 42:53
  SPEAKER_01: It isn't sustainable, it's more erratic behavior.
• 42:56
  SPEAKER_01: This ends up leaking your power because it's like, well, I don't trust this to work unless I force it.
• 43:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't trust my power.
• 43:04
  SPEAKER_01: I'm I don't actually feel convicted.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_01: So I need to leverage urgency because I'm really lacking in certainty.
• 43:11
  SPEAKER_01: But certainty is what sales respond to.
• 43:13
  SPEAKER_01: This ends up capping your income because if every dip triggers urgency, right?
• 43:18
  SPEAKER_01: Your system never learns to stabilize at higher levels because it associates growth with pressure.
• 43:24
  SPEAKER_01: So it unconsciously starts to prefer more predictable caps.
• 43:29
  SPEAKER_01: It'll keep you in a smaller reference range.
• 43:33
  SPEAKER_01: This is huge because when you realize where you're moving from urgency and where that's capping your income and where that's leaking your power, you can start to audit your behavior to make sure is this coming from certainty, is this coming from urgency?
• 43:47
  SPEAKER_01: Is this coming from the false sense of momentum that I'm trying to ride that I'm actually going to crash after?
• 43:52
  SPEAKER_01: And you might not notice it in the moment.
• 43:54
  SPEAKER_01: You might only notice it after because your nervous system crashes.
• 43:58
  SPEAKER_01: And our final power.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_01: Leak power leak number seven is you flinch around your pricing, right?
• 44:06
  SPEAKER_01: So you regularly have to hold the energy around your pricing.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_01: And the moment someone says that's it's too expensive or that's this, you contract.
• 44:16
  SPEAKER_01: You say your price, someone objects.
• 44:18
  SPEAKER_01: And immediately your nervous system shifts.
• 44:22
  SPEAKER_01: If your nervous system, your body shifts at all when someone reacts to your price, that's an indication that you're leaking your personal power.
• 44:30
  SPEAKER_01: You go into second guessing, overexplaining.
• 44:33
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that's my price because it includes blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
• 44:36
  SPEAKER_01: You're justifying it.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_01: You maybe then you add in a discount or a bonus.
• 44:41
  SPEAKER_01: And afterwards you feel resentful because you know you collapsed your power.
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 44:46
  SPEAKER_01: Because what's happening neurologically in your nervous system is these objections trigger that social threat.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_01: Your brain registers, huh, rejection, loss of approval.
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 44:56
  SPEAKER_01: If your power is not fully stabilized at that price point, your nervous system perceives the objection as proof.
• 45:03
  SPEAKER_01: It's not proof, it's just one person.
• 45:05
  SPEAKER_01: But what ends up happening is you end up adjusting to soothe that feeling.
• 45:09
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 45:10
  SPEAKER_01: Your nervous system goes into that fawn mode.
• 45:13
  SPEAKER_01: You soften, right, to try to stay like, you adjust to reduce tension, right?
• 45:18
  SPEAKER_01: You trade your power to try to be accepted.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_01: That's a leak in your power.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_01: And this ends up capping your income massively.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_01: And the funny thing is, is that even if you soften to stay liked, even if you adjust your pricing to kind of like reduce tension, right?
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_01: To reduce that friction or to try to be accepted, there's no guarantee that A, they're gonna pay the lesser price.
• 45:43
  SPEAKER_01: The only thing you've done is devalued yourself and leaked your power.
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_01: You know, an example of this that I've given the clients before, I'm gonna bring it here.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_01: At every price point, no matter what you're charging, there will be somebody who objects.
• 45:56
  SPEAKER_01: I have seen people complain about$20 a month for, you know, workout programs and a meal plan.
• 46:04
  unknown: Right?
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_01: Where they get to log on to the computer and she has these beautiful workout programs and she shows you what to do every day and what to eat for like, I think$20,$30 a month, dollar a day.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_01: Someone said that's too expensive.
• 46:17
  SPEAKER_01: There will always be somebody.
• 46:19
  SPEAKER_01: But I guarantee if you were to adjust a pivot, no matter what, you're never gonna please.
• 46:24
  SPEAKER_01: The only person you're going to end up causing anything for is yourself.
• 46:28
  SPEAKER_01: You're gonna get exhausted and be like, oh, I don't know what they want.
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_01: Like I lowered it and then they still didn't buy.
• 46:33
  SPEAKER_01: And this is so huge.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: People think that just because you lower the price or you offer a lower price that they will buy, and that is not true.
• 46:40
  SPEAKER_01: And this is really how you can see how it starts to cap your income, right?
• 46:43
  SPEAKER_01: Because if your nervous system cannot remain neutral, when someone says it's too expensive, you will subconsciously, or even actually consciously, underprice, over-deliver, overexplain, or attract misaligned people.
• 46:59
  SPEAKER_01: And that builds that resentment.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_01: And resentment is a sign that you've betrayed your standard.
• 47:03
  SPEAKER_01: So the upgrade here isn't about convincing people, it's about can your nervous system stay steady in the presence of objection?
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_01: Because somebody will always object.
• 47:12
  SPEAKER_01: And when your body doesn't flinch, your authority solidifies, right?
• 47:18
  SPEAKER_01: And then people buy from you no matter what your price point is.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: Right?
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_01: I've had people find me and in the same day invest in like my highest ticket mentorship.
• 47:27
  SPEAKER_01: They feel the power, right?
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_01: You can stay steady in your price and people will circle back.
• 47:32
  SPEAKER_01: Right.
• 47:33
  SPEAKER_01: Here's what I want you to understand.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, none of these leaks that we've spoken about today means you're incapable.
• 47:39
  SPEAKER_01: They just mean your nervous system is still sourcing safety externally, either from validation, from projection, from you know, urgency, from approval, from trying to be liked and accepted.
• 47:51
  SPEAKER_01: And every time your nervous system sources safety outside of you, your power leaks.
• 47:56
  SPEAKER_01: Because sales only rise to the level of your nervous system that it can maintain coherence inside of, that it can maintain power inside of.
• 48:05
  SPEAKER_01: Sales will literally only rise to the level of personal power in your nervous system.
• 48:10
  SPEAKER_01: If validation regulates you, your income will fluctuate.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_01: If objections destabilize you, your pricing will wobble.
• 48:18
  SPEAKER_01: If urgencies are the only thing driving you, your business will spike and crash.
• 48:22
  SPEAKER_01: If you have these emotional swings, right, your power is going to feel inconsistent.
• 48:27
  SPEAKER_01: Power isn't loud, it's simply unconditional.
• 48:30
  SPEAKER_01: It's the ability to remain self-referenced when nothing outside of you confirms it.
• 48:35
  SPEAKER_01: Let me say that again.
• 48:36
  SPEAKER_01: Personal power is your ability to remain self-referenced when nothing outside of you confirms it.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_01: It's neutral when sales dip.
• 48:45
  SPEAKER_01: It's grounded no matter if someone objects.
• 48:48
  SPEAKER_01: It's consistent when engagement is quiet.
• 48:50
  SPEAKER_01: It's convicted when people are projecting.
• 48:52
  SPEAKER_01: That's unconditional personal power.
• 48:54
  SPEAKER_01: And that's when income rises.
• 48:56
  SPEAKER_01: That's when sales start flooding in.
• 48:59
  SPEAKER_01: Because people don't just buy offers, they buy you, they buy nervous systems, they buy stability, they buy conviction, they buy someone whose power isn't leaked when the room shifts.
• 49:10
  SPEAKER_01: So if you're noticing these leaks that we've talked about in this episode, good.
• 49:14
  SPEAKER_01: Not because you're failing, because now you can see where the real ceiling is for you.
• 49:19
  SPEAKER_01: And once you stop leaking your power, your income then doesn't need to be forced.
• 49:23
  SPEAKER_01: It's going to start growing and compounding.
• 49:25
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the shift.
• 49:27
  SPEAKER_01: So I hope you enjoyed this episode.
• 49:29
  SPEAKER_01: Let this be full of ahas.
• 49:31
  SPEAKER_01: I can't wait to hear how it landed.
• 49:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I will see you in the next episode.