Latest / Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families / #966 Gaming Info You Need to Know with Katie Davis

Transcript

#966 Gaming Info You Need to Know with Katie Davis · Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

• 0:03
  Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: time poor parent who just wants answers. Now, Hello, Welcome
• 0:11
  Speaker 1: back to the Happy Family's podcast. This is doctor Justin
• 0:13
  Speaker 1: Coulson continuing our conversation from yesterday with Associate Professor Katie
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Davis from the University of Washington Information School. If you
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: missed yesterday's conversation, please go back and have listen to
• 0:25
  Speaker 1: that before you listen to today's discussion, because what today
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: is a continuation of what we were talking about. Katie,
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  Speaker 1: I'd like to kick off today's continued conversation by hitting
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: you with a lightning rounde straight up? Can we get
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: your brain going really fast?
• 0:42
  Speaker 2: Sure, let's do it.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: So a lightning round one or two word or one
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: or two sentence answers. We're going to move really really quickly.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: What was your favorite TV show when you were young?
• 0:51
  Speaker 2: Oh? I guess The Full House. That's neating me.
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  Speaker 1: And I was about to say I used to watch
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  Speaker 1: that too, which is terribly for me to date myself.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: Do you ever not be the calm psychology mom, the
• 1:05
  Speaker 1: screen expert? Do you ever not be the calm mom
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  Speaker 1: when it comes to you and your one son?
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  Speaker 2: Six?
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  Speaker 1: Year old Oliver.
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  Speaker 2: Oh. Absolutely, So it's just Oliver and me at home
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  Speaker 2: and so and I have a pretty demanding job, so
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  Speaker 2: I am often extremely tired. And you know, sometimes I'm
• 1:23
  Speaker 2: trying as much as I can to make sure that
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  Speaker 2: he's engaging with technology and all the ways that I
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  Speaker 2: know are supportive of his development. But sometimes I'm exhausted,
• 1:33
  Speaker 2: or sometimes he's exhausted, and it's just okay to sit
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: in front of the TV and veg out a little bit,
• 1:38
  Speaker 2: especially when one or both of us is sick. Then
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: all bets are off and screen time is unlimited.
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  Speaker 1: Even though he is the son of an associate professor
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: of psychology who knows this stuff inside and out and
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  Speaker 1: has written the book, does he ever just lose and say,
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  Speaker 1: but I just want my screen I don't care about
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  Speaker 1: the psychological theory.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. It's really funny how he's he He doesn't seem
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  Speaker 2: to really believe that I know what I'm talking about
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  Speaker 2: when I say, you know, it's time to turn it off,
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: or especially what he really hates is when he complains
• 2:10
  Speaker 2: that he's bored and I say, you know what, boredom
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  Speaker 2: is great, that's the way you develop your ability to
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  Speaker 2: regulate your emotions and figure out what you're going to
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  Speaker 2: do next, You're going to You're developing all sorts of
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  Speaker 2: resilience that way, and he's very unimpressed by that.
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  Speaker 1: I can imagine, what is the biggest screen challenge that
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  Speaker 1: you have as an expert in technology use across the lifespan?
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  Speaker 2: Right now, with my six year old, it's pretty much time.
• 2:35
  Speaker 2: I think he's really obsessed with Pokemon right now, and
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: all of his friends are equally obsessed. And I allow
• 2:44
  Speaker 2: him to watch two Pokemon episodes a day, and he
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  Speaker 2: really struggles to get me to increase that as much
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  Speaker 2: as possible. And this is every day, so even though
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: I don't budge on it every day, it's a bit
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  Speaker 2: of a fight and it can get exhausting. But we
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  Speaker 2: have a role in the house where he can watch
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  Speaker 2: two Pokemon and then he watches two programs in German
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  Speaker 2: because we just moved back from living for four years
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  Speaker 2: in Germany and I want him to keep up his
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  Speaker 2: German speaking, so he has to divide his screen time
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  Speaker 2: between English and German.
• 3:22
  Speaker 1: We have a nine year old daughter who is excessively
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  Speaker 1: engaged with screens and especially Pokemon, and we've ended up.
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  Speaker 1: We've actually set the parental lock on the television so
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  Speaker 1: it switches off after an hour, because otherwise just it's
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  Speaker 1: amazing when we step in and say that's enough, it's
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  Speaker 1: time to switch it off, or end of the episode,
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  Speaker 1: you've got eight minutes to go, we have these huge tantrums.
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  Speaker 1: But when the TV switches itself off because the screen
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  Speaker 1: time is up, she just sort of gets up off
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  Speaker 1: a couch.
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  Speaker 2: And oh, it's amazing. Yeah, no, it's incredible. Some of
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  Speaker 2: my colleagues at the University of Washington wrote a paper
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  Speaker 2: where they they found that tantrums in the house substantially
• 4:05
  Speaker 2: decrease when Alexa intervenes. So instead of a parent saying
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  Speaker 2: it's time to turn off the TV or turn off
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  Speaker 2: your tablet, if Alexa says time is up, or some
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  Speaker 2: other conversational agent, then the kids all of a sudden
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  Speaker 2: say okay, Alexa says, so, so I'll turn it off.
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  Speaker 2: It's really a little bit disconsidering.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, they intuitively know that Alexa is not going to budge,
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  Speaker 1: whereas parents maut, that's right. I want to switch that
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  Speaker 1: question up, and now I'll ask you what's your biggest
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  Speaker 1: screen challenge for you? As an adult, as an expert
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  Speaker 1: in the lifespan development and technology use.
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  Speaker 2: Oh I'm so glad you asked that, because that's the thing.
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  Speaker 2: Adults are struggling just as much as kids, and our
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  Speaker 2: kids are seeing us struggle, and I think there's a
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  Speaker 2: lot of opportunity there to own our struggles and not
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  Speaker 2: just sort of, you know, become embarrassed and put them aside,
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  Speaker 2: but lean into them and share these struggles with our kids.
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  Speaker 2: So with me, I definitely struggle. You know, I'm a
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  Speaker 2: bit of a workaholic, so I'm always checking my email
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  Speaker 2: and I have this compulsion to respond to emails quite quickly,
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  Speaker 2: and whether it's on my phone or my computer, and
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  Speaker 2: Oliver certainly calls me on that if we're playing Pokemon,
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  Speaker 2: which I admit I'm not always super engaged with, so
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  Speaker 2: I find my eyes wandering to my phone a lot.
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  Speaker 2: But when I do, I try to catch myself and
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  Speaker 2: call attention and say, oh, you know what, Oliver, these
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  Speaker 2: phones are designed to really hook us and it can
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  Speaker 2: actually come develop into a good teachable moment, especially as
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  Speaker 2: he gets older. So with a lot of my research
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  Speaker 2: focuses on older tweens and teens, and as their thinking
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  Speaker 2: gets more sophisticated. They're able to really understand how you know,
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  Speaker 2: if you talk to them about how these devices and
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  Speaker 2: applications are specifically designed to hold our attention, that can
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  Speaker 2: be a really fruitful conversation because then it's not all
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  Speaker 2: on us. It's not just we are weak because we
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  Speaker 2: are succumbing to these social media apps or the phone notifications,
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  Speaker 2: but actually, you know what, they're designed specifically for that purpose.
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  Speaker 2: So those kinds of conversations I really encourage parents to
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  Speaker 2: engage their kids around.
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  Speaker 1: I love everything that you've shared there about that. Thank
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  Speaker 1: you for that offering. When I look at the impact
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  Speaker 1: that technology has on our children, our adolescents, and even
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  Speaker 1: on us, I think it's hard to make an argument
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  Speaker 1: that the impact isn't becoming increasingly concerning over time as
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  Speaker 1: technology becomes increasingly pervasive and integrated into our lives. I'd
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  Speaker 1: like to spend the last part of our conversation talking
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  Speaker 1: about two areas that this is particularly the case, mainly
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  Speaker 1: for adolescents, although younger children are involved as well. Those
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  Speaker 1: two areas are gaming and social media. So if I
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  Speaker 1: can start with something, I am going to read you
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  Speaker 1: to you for just a second if I can from
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  Speaker 1: your book Technology's Child, You've said interactivity, low cost of failure,
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  Speaker 1: clear and immediate feedback, an optimal balance between challenge and frustration,
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  Speaker 1: and social interaction. These are the things that video games
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  Speaker 1: can offer children. When I read that, it reminded me
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  Speaker 1: so much of everything that's in mid new book, The
• 7:31
  Speaker 1: Pairing Revolution about children and their basic psychological needs. That's
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  Speaker 1: a really dense sentence that I read, with many many
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  Speaker 1: parts to it. Can you explain from all of your
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  Speaker 1: research what you're really seeing happen when kids are engaging
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  Speaker 1: with games online and how that's affecting their psychology?
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  Speaker 2: Right, So, all of those qualities that you just read out,
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  Speaker 2: I was as you were reading them, I thought, oh,
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  Speaker 2: I wish that school were more like that, you know, totally,
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  Speaker 2: if only it were that engaging for kids, and unfortunately
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  Speaker 2: it isn't. But one thing that games really get right,
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  Speaker 2: and it's the reason why kids and adults keep playing
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  Speaker 2: and playing, is that they're just a little bit hard,
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  Speaker 2: a little bit too hard to be completely successful all
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  Speaker 2: the time, but not so hard that you become so
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  Speaker 2: frustrated that you abandon it. And often school is the
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  Speaker 2: complete opposite. It's either too easy or it's way too hard,
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  Speaker 2: and either one of those will disengage kids. But video
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  Speaker 2: games hit that sweet spot of being just hard enough
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  Speaker 2: but not too hard. They give very clear feedback. It
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  Speaker 2: just all of the things that keep us engaged. Video
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  Speaker 2: games have nailed and they just know how to do it,
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  Speaker 2: and so for that reason, they're extremely compelling. Also for
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  Speaker 2: that reason is why I'm really delaying the time when
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  Speaker 2: I introduce myself to video games. Not because I'm anti
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  Speaker 2: video game by any means. I think there's a lot
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  Speaker 2: of great, great opportunities, learning opportunities. There are games that
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  Speaker 2: support exercise, well being, all sorts of different kinds of learning,
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  Speaker 2: lots of research showing benefits of games. But however, they
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  Speaker 2: are so compelling. I don't want to say addictive, because
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  Speaker 2: you know, research is conflicted about whether or not we
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  Speaker 2: can use that term.
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  Speaker 1: Yes, just get pretty cranky about the term addiction.
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  Speaker 2: Ba they do. That's a very polarizing word. But I
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  Speaker 2: think it's pretty safe to say they're very compelling and
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  Speaker 2: for some kids, for many kids, it's really difficult to
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  Speaker 2: find a balance. And so for me, I'm just trying
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  Speaker 2: to avoid it entirely until Oliver is a little bit older,
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  Speaker 2: and then we're going to have to really do a
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  Speaker 2: lot of hard work of trying to get that balance right.
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  Speaker 2: And it's not something I believe that you can actually
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  Speaker 2: achieve once and for all and say, Okay, I am
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  Speaker 2: now engaging with video games in a balanced way. It's
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  Speaker 2: sort of ada a daily act that you have to
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  Speaker 2: engage in with your children because it's just too easy
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  Speaker 2: to keep playing and playing and playing. And so yeah,
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  Speaker 2: I think that there really is a danger sometimes to
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  Speaker 2: let that balance get a little bit out of whack.
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  Speaker 2: And so things to keep in mind are here. It
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  Speaker 2: is really how long has my child been playing this game?
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  Speaker 2: And what might they have been doing otherwise if they
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  Speaker 2: hadn't been engaged with the game, Because sometimes it might
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  Speaker 2: be that there actually wasn't so much great other alternatives
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  Speaker 2: for them to do. Maybe they're on a plane and
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  Speaker 2: there really isn't any opportunity, or maybe it's raining outside.
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  Speaker 2: If you're noticing that there probably could have been some
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  Speaker 2: other activities that might be good for them that they
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  Speaker 2: could have been engaging, but instead they're just playing video
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  Speaker 2: games over and over again, that's when we're starting to
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  Speaker 2: think that maybe the balance needs to be recalibrated.
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  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's that whole and balanced life kind of thing.
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  Speaker 1: One of the things that frustrates me with video game
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  Speaker 1: research is it doesn't say what I wanted to say,
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  Speaker 1: Like I really want video game research to say too
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  Speaker 1: much time gaming is bad for you and it lead
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  Speaker 1: to all sorts of negative outcomes in your life. And
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  Speaker 1: no matter how much of it I read it, it
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  Speaker 1: doesn't know.
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  Speaker 2: It doesn't say that.
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  Speaker 1: It doesn't tell me that. It says that kids have
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  Speaker 1: a great time, that they love it, that it's good
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  Speaker 1: for their relationships, there's some cognitive benefit to it. Like
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  Speaker 1: it's so frustrating that there's more advantages than the disadvantages
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  Speaker 1: really stem from parent child conflicts, because parents want their
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  Speaker 1: kids to go and live a whole and balanced life.
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  Speaker 1: And even the violent.
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  Speaker 2: Video game content, yeah, a lot of it does come
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  Speaker 2: from that parent child conflict. A lot of it also
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  Speaker 2: does come from you know, there are young people and
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  Speaker 2: adults for whom if they're playing so so much, they're engaged,
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  Speaker 2: you know, in video games for most of their day
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  Speaker 2: or in a big part of their night. If it's
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: starting to interfere with sleep, if it's starting to interfere
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  Speaker 2: with school work or social relationships outside of the game.
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  Speaker 2: That's when alarm bell should be going off, and there
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  Speaker 2: are certainly instances of that, but on the whole, you're right,
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  Speaker 2: a lot of the research does show small but positive effects.
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  Speaker 2: And then when it comes to violent video games, you know,
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  Speaker 2: there's a camp of researchers who are pretty adamant that
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  Speaker 2: there's a relationship between violent video games and aggression, and
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  Speaker 2: then there's another camp that's pretty adamant that there isn't.
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  Speaker 2: I think that there's very little evidence that convinces me
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  Speaker 2: that playing violent video games causes kids to become violent.
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  Speaker 2: There is research showing that perhaps right after a child
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  Speaker 2: plays a violent video game, aim they're more aroused and
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: perhaps acting in a slightly more aggressive way. That doesn't
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  Speaker 2: necessarily mean they become more aggressive, but they certainly are
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  Speaker 2: more aroused. But you know, that's a far cry from
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  Speaker 2: actually being violent. And so yeah, the research is a
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  Speaker 2: little bit murky, and I think it you know, again,
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  Speaker 2: we should come back to how is this affecting my
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  Speaker 2: individual child? And here again I use this two step
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  Speaker 2: decision tool to think about is this self directed? Are
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  Speaker 2: they in control or is the game more in control?
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  Speaker 2: And that's where that question can really help tease apart.
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  Speaker 2: Is this something that where it's more likely to go
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  Speaker 2: in the direction of the research that shows positive benefits
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  Speaker 2: or more likely to go in the direction of the
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  Speaker 2: research showing negative And then the second question is is
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  Speaker 2: it community supported? Am I providing support around this experience?
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  Speaker 2: Are they engaging with friends while playing games or family members?
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  Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of opportunity for community support
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  Speaker 2: during video games, but then there's also an opportunity for
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  Speaker 2: bullying and other things. So you want to take a
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  Speaker 2: look at what are the social dynamics that are going
• 14:14
  Speaker 2: on during the scheme play those are that's can be
• 14:16
  Speaker 2: really important.
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  Speaker 1: Sometimes it would be great if research just said what
• 14:20
  Speaker 1: we wanted to say. That's I know, I'm really compelled
• 14:24
  Speaker 1: by what you've said, though I'm reading it the same way.
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  Speaker 1: Even things like empathy. There's some really cool studies that
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: show that when somebody walks out of playing a violent
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  Speaker 1: video game, they may be a little less likely to
• 14:35
  Speaker 1: help somebody in the corridor that needs a hand with something.
• 14:38
  Speaker 1: But it's not like they go out and start beating
• 14:41
  Speaker 1: people up, or go and buy small arms and threaten people,
• 14:45
  Speaker 1: rob a bank, absolutely, there's no which is kind of frustrating.
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: Although I will say when I was a teenager, I've
• 14:50
  Speaker 1: got to I've got to say this, Katie. When I
• 14:51
  Speaker 1: was a teenager, race to play this car racing game
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: at the local arcade called I think it was called
• 14:56
  Speaker 1: Daytona five hundred or something like that, and I would
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: leave the arcade and get in my car, and I
• 15:03
  Speaker 1: did drive a little faster on the way home from
• 15:04
  Speaker 1: the arcade as I was driving.
• 15:06
  Speaker 2: Sure, sure, yeah, research definitely would support that. But whether
• 15:09
  Speaker 2: that turns you into just someone who's always racing fast
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: in your car, that's less supported.
• 15:17
  Speaker 1: Yeah, totally. And I would have to say I was
• 15:20
  Speaker 1: erratic for the first few minutes and then I sort
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: of calmed down and I was driving a human again.
• 15:25
  Speaker 1: And I was a young adolescent boy, which probably had
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: something to do with it as well, Katie. The last
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: thing that I just want to touch on, and we
• 15:30
  Speaker 1: have such limited time, is social media. I've been really
• 15:34
  Speaker 1: taken by the research that Jonathan Hate has been doing.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: For those who are not familiar Jonathan Hate, he's probably
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: one of the world's foremost thinkers in social psychology, and
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: he has been working with Gene Twiney on some really
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: interesting ideas around kids, teenagers social media. He's got a
• 15:51
  Speaker 1: substack called after Babel, Katie. Have you been watching what
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Jonathan Hate has been writing there, and I'd love to
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: get your take on the impact of social media and
• 16:01
  Speaker 1: whether or not, as he's saying, your rate of the
• 16:04
  Speaker 1: research is showing that it is a genuine, significant contributed
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: to the mental ill health that so many of adolescents
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: are struggling with.
• 16:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, so I have to say I have been
• 16:16
  Speaker 2: following Jonathan's work and gene twiness work, and they are
• 16:21
  Speaker 2: doing a great job. They have this ongoing document where
• 16:24
  Speaker 2: they're collecting all the research related to teen social media
• 16:28
  Speaker 2: use and their mental health concerns. And I'm convinced by
• 16:31
  Speaker 2: that research and my own research that there's definitely something
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: going on when it comes to teen social media use
• 16:39
  Speaker 2: and their mental health challenges. It's by no means the
• 16:43
  Speaker 2: sole cause. Whenever you have a mental health challenge or concern,
• 16:48
  Speaker 2: it's multifactorial. There are many factors involved, family relationships, pure relationships,
• 16:55
  Speaker 2: and existing vulnerability towards anxiety or depression. But what I
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: see in my work is that social media often acts
• 17:02
  Speaker 2: as an amplifier of existing challenges or struggles for teens,
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: and it can be a pretty profound amplifier. And so
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: I'm pretty convinced now that you know, at least in
• 17:14
  Speaker 2: the United States, where we're seeing some pretty alarming rises
• 17:18
  Speaker 2: over the last ten years in depression and even just
• 17:23
  Speaker 2: persistent feelings of sadness, particularly among teen girls in LGBTQ
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: plus youth, I am convinced that social media is having
• 17:33
  Speaker 2: a role in that, in addition to many factors that
• 17:37
  Speaker 2: are involved in young people's lives right now, not least
• 17:41
  Speaker 2: of which was the pandemic and the you know, young
• 17:44
  Speaker 2: people are still experiencing the pandemic and what you know,
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: the things that have transpired from it.
• 17:52
  Speaker 1: Yep, Katie, we have, during the course of our conversation
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: over the last two days, dropped several nuggets in terms
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: of how we can help our children to feel like
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: they have agency, to be self directed, to have the
• 18:03
  Speaker 1: level of community support that they need, and how we
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: as parents can engage with them and have hard conversations,
• 18:09
  Speaker 1: as you said, in that exhausting day to day business
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: of working with kids and their technology use. As much
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: as I'd love to do another two episodes talking further
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: about those solutions. What I'm going to do instead is
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: direct people to your book, Technologies Child, Digital Media's Role
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: in the Ages and Stages of Growing Up. It's a
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: book that takes a developmental approach and essentially says, here's
• 18:34
  Speaker 1: what's going on in kids a little, when they're medium,
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: when they're big, and even when they're grown ups in
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: terms of their technology use and what we can do
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: to help them. I found the book immensely helpful, as
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: somebody who has a background in psychology and has been
• 18:46
  Speaker 1: talking about this for a long time. I underlined and
• 18:50
  Speaker 1: made so many notes on what you've written. The science
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: is fantastic, and I just love the way you've made
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: it so accessible for parents. Thank you for your book,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: and thanks for the conversation.
• 18:58
  Speaker 2: Well, thank you so much. I really enjoyed it.
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: Katie Davis is an associate professor at the University of
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: Washington Information School and the author of the brand new book,
• 19:06
  Speaker 1: Technologies Child Digital Media's Role in the Ages and Stages
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: of Growing Up. The Happy Family's podcast is produced by
• 19:14
  Speaker 1: Justin Ruland for Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our executive producer.
• 19:17
  Speaker 1: For More information about Technology's Child you can see the
• 19:20
  Speaker 1: show notes and also check out Katie's website katidavisresearch dot com.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: If you go there and sign up for Katie's newsletter,
• 19:27
  Speaker 1: she'll be able to send you a weekly tidbit of
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: research and ideas for how you can manage to tech
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: better in your home with your kids. That's Katidavisresearch dot com.
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: Sign up for the newsletter there