Latest / MyMaine Birth / 78. Nora's Intimate Home Birth in the Heart of Maine's Backwoods

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78. Nora's Intimate Home Birth in the Heart of Maine's Backwoods · MyMaine Birth

• 0:00
  Nora: Yeah, I read her.
• 0:01
  Nora: My oldest was like the way she says she's like I heard a big scream and I knew that the baby was here and I think that's great, that this is like this is their experience of birth.
• 0:12
  Nora: It's like, oh, there's a scream, but it's not bad, and it's like, yeah, there's your sister in the bathtub.
• 0:18
  Nora: I mean just pretty laid back really, and I'm I'm very glad.
• 0:23
  Nora: I mean who knows how they will remember it later, but I think it's pretty sweet and it, you know, it's really I feel really fortunate to like have a husband who's on that same page too of like she's doing a great job.
• 0:37
  Nora: Like I remember earlier in the day they were like Whoa, what's going on?
• 0:40
  Nora: Like why is she making all that noise?
• 0:41
  Nora: And he was like she's working really hard.
• 0:52
  Nora: So you can just say like good job.
• 0:53
  Angela: Yeah, it felt.
• 0:53
  Angela: You know, it really was like a family affair for sure.
• 0:55
  Angela: I'm Angela and you're listening to my Maine Birth a space where we share the real life stories of families and their unique birth experiences in the beautiful state of Maine.
• 1:07
  Angela: From our state's biggest hospitals to birth center births and home births, every birth story deserves to be heard and celebrated.
• 1:16
  Angela: Whether you're a soon-to-be mom, a seasoned mother or simply interested in the world of birth, these episodes are for you.
• 1:24
  Angela: Welcome to another episode of my Main.
• 1:28
  Angela: Birth.
• 1:29
  Angela: Today's birth story guest is Nora.
• 1:32
  Angela: She shared her first two birth stories in episode 22 of the podcast, so go check that out to hear the first part of her story.
• 1:41
  Angela: I have it linked over in the show notes and I'm so excited to have her back today to share her most recent birth story of her third daughter, theodora, which was a beautiful backwoods Maine home birth on a windy, cold and starry winter night.
• 1:56
  Angela: I know this because I had the incredible honor of witnessing and quietly photographing these once-in-a-lifetime special moments as her fly-on-the-wall birth photographer.
• 2:08
  Angela: All right, let's get right to it.
• 2:10
  Angela: Hi, Nora, welcome to my Main Birth.
• 2:14
  Nora: Hey.
• 2:15
  Angela: Hey, how is everyone doing?
• 2:18
  Nora: Really great it's been.
• 2:20
  Nora: Yeah, it's been pretty awesome.
• 2:23
  Nora: Theodora's just really really chill and smiley.
• 2:27
  Nora: It's kind of insane how happy she is.
• 2:30
  Nora: And the other girls, yeah, are like obsessed with a little baby.
• 2:35
  Angela: So that's so great.
• 2:37
  Nora: Yeah, we feel pretty lucky.
• 2:40
  Angela: Yay, that's so nice.
• 2:42
  Angela: So for anyone that hasn't heard your first podcast episode, episode 22,.
• 2:49
  Angela: Will you start by sharing a little bit about you and your family?
• 2:54
  Nora: my husband, rob, and our three daughters Irina is five, turning six in June, vita is three, turning four next month or, yeah, may 15th.
• 3:14
  Nora: So just like some weeks, and Theodora is 12 weeks today and we both, my husband and I, both work for his family's plumbing business.
• 3:25
  Nora: I work part time and got right back to that three weeks postpartum, which is sort of crazy, but also the nice thing about a family business.
• 3:34
  Nora: Just brought the baby, yeah, and we have two cats, a dog, several chickens, but recently lost some because we've got a fox coming around.
• 3:48
  Nora: So that's just our life lately.
• 3:52
  Angela: Oh no, we had a fox get one of our chickens recently too.
• 3:55
  Angela: That is definitely one of the downsides of living out in the woods, when the chickens are walking around and a fox just pops out and grabs one.
• 4:04
  Nora: Sorry.
• 4:05
  Angela: Yeah, so you shared your first two birth stories in episode 22 of the podcast, but for anyone that hasn't heard that episode yet, will you briefly share a little bit about your first two birth experiences?
• 4:20
  Nora: Sure, yeah, my first was I knew I wanted a home birth.
• 4:25
  Nora: That was the plan.
• 4:26
  Nora: And we yeah, everything was going really smoothly for that, we didn't have like a ton of tests or ultrasounds or anything.
• 4:36
  Nora: I went into labor a couple weeks before, got to 10 centimeters, was pushing for several hours and then we decided to transfer to the local hospital and pretty quickly after getting there we all kind of decided on a C-section.
• 4:57
  Nora: I mean, I was ready to at that point.
• 5:00
  Nora: I was just pushing and not making progress and when she came out she was posterior and asynclitic.
• 5:07
  Nora: So just a couple tricky things that we did not really know.
• 5:11
  Nora: And that was probably part of pushing and not making progress.
• 5:15
  Nora: And so my second was the spacing between, yeah, the two girls is about two years.
• 5:23
  Nora: So fairly quickly we knew we wanted to have another kid and I thought about all the different directions we could take and I ultimately decided on home birth again because that is just I knew I would be most comfortable there.
• 5:36
  Nora: And so I found a midwife who worked with VBAC vaginal birth after cesarean or HBAC home birth after cesarean or HVAC home birth after cesarean and yeah, that was like a very textbook, I think, in a way that almost feels like it was my first labor.
• 5:52
  Nora: In a lot of ways it was about 12 hours, about an hour of pushing, so just really yeah, straightforward.
• 5:59
  Nora: And then, once we had two kids, we needed a little break.
• 6:05
  Nora: But kind of thought we were like, you know, I think it was 50 50.
• 6:09
  Nora: After Vito was born we were like two feels really good, but we could see having more.
• 6:13
  Angela: So yeah, yes, will you share like about when you found out you were pregnant then for the third time and your thoughts in choosing your care?
• 6:22
  Nora: Yeah, so with both my first pregnancies we got pregnant the first month we tried.
• 6:30
  Nora: So I just assumed that would happen again and it did not, which I know is really common and not cause for concern.
• 6:38
  Nora: But I yeah, I kind of said this in my other podcast with you and it is what I I just think of myself as an impatient person and so even just after like not getting pregnant in the first month, I was like, oh no, what's wrong?
• 6:53
  Nora: Like do I have to think about all these things?
• 6:55
  Nora: And I, you know, I don't want to be like dismissive, because I know some people truly struggle, um, and I still feel really really lucky, and I don feel really really lucky and I don't want to like be rude about that, but it just was relative.
• 7:09
  Nora: So I really wondered and it took on the fourth month I got pregnant.
• 7:14
  Nora: So, like I know that's no time at all, but it was kind of, yeah, interesting and I started, I basically learned more about my cycle because I started like doing ovulation strips and taking my temperature in the morning, and so it was kind of a good thing because I just learned, got to learn more and realized that I, yeah, I was probably just ovulating at a very different time than I assumed.
• 7:38
  Nora: So, yeah, actually, when we recorded the last time, that was Vita's birthday, may 15th and I had a feeling and I almost said something to you, but I was like, no, that's too, like I can't, I have no idea, but I was going to be like I might be pregnant right now and I was, um, I tested on May 19th, which was still a little early, like it was before my period was due.
• 8:03
  Nora: But I was just kind of curious and I knew I would either see a faint line or not.
• 8:07
  Nora: And it was like the faintest little line and I couldn't, I kind of couldn't believe it and I went downstairs and I didn't even tell my husband at first.
• 8:17
  Nora: I like just kind of wanted to keep it a secret for a while and think about it.
• 8:22
  Nora: And then I just had a normal day with my girls.
• 8:26
  Nora: We went to the library in Bangor and while I was in town I got, you know, one of those tests that like says pregnant or not pregnant, which is kind of silly, but it felt like I just needed, I needed to see.
• 8:38
  Nora: It was like I don't know if I believe it.
• 8:40
  Nora: And so once it said pregnant on that it kind of felt more real, which I know is silly, and I actually just texted my husband a picture of that.
• 8:50
  Nora: He was at work and I did this in the Bangor library bathroom, but that's kind of like the story when it's your third kid too.
• 8:58
  Nora: I think it's like, yeah, here's a little, but I thought that was kind of sweet too and he was very excited to get that at work and be like, oh my God, it's happening.
• 9:12
  Nora: And so I just, yeah, pretty much immediately I told the girls, also my older daughters I can't yeah, I'm not one to like some people really don't tell people for a long time, or you don't even tell their kids for a long time, which I guess I mean you do whatever you want, but I can't imagine doing that.
• 9:27
  Nora: So I told them right away and, yeah, decided to just continue with Holly Murphy of Birch Moon Midwifery.
• 9:37
  Nora: She was my midwife with Vita and yeah, we liked her.
• 9:41
  Nora: So I reached out to her and just kind of got things going in that direction.
• 9:49
  Nora: I did do more or, for the first time, I did like the early genetic testing kind of I sort of just like out of curiosity, because we'd never done it and because I like wanted to find out what we were having this time to really early.
• 10:05
  Nora: I just I think again, like just it being the third time, I was like I don't, I don't need like secrets or surprises, it's okay, I'll just find out early.
• 10:16
  Nora: So that's kind of the only thing I did a little differently early on.
• 10:20
  Nora: I did do the anatomy scan at 20 weeks.
• 10:25
  Nora: I, yeah, I did not.
• 10:29
  Nora: I chose not to do the gestational diabetes test this time because that was something that had come up with Vita.
• 10:34
  Nora: I did have to do that twice, like I had to do the three hour one and then realized I had gestational diabetes and so and it was kind of this whole stressful thing that I realized was actually very easy to manage and it was kind of like more stress than I needed probably.
• 10:53
  Nora: So this time I just told Holly I'll test my blood and just kind of keep an eye on things and she was like, yeah, that's more accurate anyway than chugging a bunch of sugar and you know that's not like a normal thing for your body to do.
• 11:06
  Nora: So that was one thing I, yeah, did differently this time.
• 11:13
  Angela: Yeah, and just like eating healthy too and just really focusing on like a good diet can help prevent things getting out of control Like a lot of times too with that whole issues yeah, totally just kind of good knowledge, even when you're not pregnant.
• 11:29
  Nora: Like, yeah, focusing on protein vegetables and like movement after eating are all helpful things.
• 11:36
  Nora: Although I did notice something funny towards the very end after I ate lunch, every day I would take a nap because it was the third trimester, and then when I tested my blood after that nap it would be like a kind of high number.
• 11:51
  Nora: So then I started to wonder and I texted Holly and we both kind of were like well, it's too late now.
• 11:57
  Nora: Like if you do have gestational diabetes, you know, you're like a couple of weeks from giving birth, so there's really not much to do and it's probably just because you're napping and that does something.
• 12:08
  Nora: So again, it was kind of like testing my ovulation and my temperature.
• 12:13
  Nora: It was just getting more knowledge about my body and that's kind of a good thing, I think.
• 12:19
  Angela: Yeah, so how are you feeling overall throughout your whole pregnancy?
• 12:24
  Angela: Did you have any like morning sickness in the beginning, or are you just like feeling good overall?
• 12:29
  Nora: I did not.
• 12:29
  Nora: Yeah, I never really have had morning sickness, so that is very lucky.
• 12:34
  Nora: But I did just feel I was so bloated immediately Almost it was like I looked pregnant right away, just because I was so bloated and uncomfortable.
• 12:47
  Nora: And yeah, the first trimester was kind of crappy just in other ways, like it is for a lot of people.
• 12:53
  Nora: The second trimester was pretty good.
• 12:56
  Nora: I do feel like that's when I did some kind of nesting type things when I had the most energy, but it was.
• 13:06
  Nora: It was like a hard pregnancy, looking back, and I didn't.
• 13:09
  Nora: I wasn't able to really recognize that until I wasn't pregnant anymore and I was like, oh, I feel so much better.
• 13:17
  Nora: I mean physically, I was just yeah, I think it was like the third time around.
• 13:23
  Nora: My body was pretty tired keeping up with two little kids also and she was my biggest baby, so that probably was part of it just the most weight on my body, yeah, it was.
• 13:37
  Nora: It was pretty rough and I was like really really anxious too, which kind of was like my first pregnancy.
• 13:44
  Nora: I had a lot of like kind of intrusive thoughts and just spiraling thoughts and that did ease up postpartum.
• 13:54
  Nora: So that's interesting and nice, but yeah, it was kind of hormonal, probably, or or situational, because being pregnant is just like a major thing to, yeah, to navigate, and so it did affect me a lot.
• 14:10
  Nora: I was, yeah, just very emotional, very anxious, stressed, et cetera.
• 14:17
  Angela: So were there certain things that were coming up for you that you were starting to get anxious and worried about?
• 14:24
  Angela: Or was it like the birth, or was it just kind of like everything in general just coming together?
• 14:29
  Nora: It was, yeah, earlier in the pregnancy it was just anxiety about my daughters.
• 14:34
  Nora: Like anytime, like right before bed, I would start to have kind of just these like awful thoughts of them, like fears that they would get hurt or things like this, just having kind of racing thoughts.
• 14:45
  Nora: And as I got closer to giving birth, it became very focused on the birth and like you know, the first birth you don't know anything.
• 14:57
  Nora: So there is anxiety related to that, but you kind of don't, you don't know what you don't know.
• 15:03
  Nora: So it's just like that.
• 15:04
  Nora: But you kind of don't, you don't know what you don't know.
• 15:06
  Nora: So it's just like, well, okay, it's, this thing's coming and I will just deal with it.
• 15:12
  Nora: And then I think a lot of people I talked to the second birth they feel like they know all these things that happened during the first labor and birth and so you kind of have these ideas of what you'd like to do differently and goals and hopes for the second one.
• 15:25
  Nora: So you kind of have that to focus on.
• 15:28
  Nora: And I do feel that with Vita's birth I knew I wanted a home birth, I wanted to be back, and that was clear.
• 15:36
  Nora: It was like I had this focus.
• 15:38
  Nora: And so the third one, it was like okay, I know I can do this, I know I can have a vaginal birth, but now I have no idea, like I both know what's coming and don't, and all these things you can wonder about.
• 15:53
  Nora: Like they say, the third one's the wild card.
• 15:55
  Nora: But then I had some people telling me actually, this is kind of like your second, because the first was a C-section, there was a lot of information and opinions coming in and I was so, so nervous.
• 16:10
  Nora: I just and I was able to clarify it because I was like, okay, trying to get to the root of what I was anxious about, and it was just, I don't know when it's going to start and I don't know how long it's going to last, which you never do, I mean, unless you're like scheduled for an induction or something.
• 16:28
  Nora: But yeah, just the unknown, what felt really hard this time around, and I think I was able to always talk myself down to of just kind of like, well, there's no point living in that headspace, you don't know what it's going to be like and so you just have to accept it when it comes.
• 16:51
  Nora: But yeah, that was, that was big, and I was towards the end.
• 16:58
  Nora: It was like, uh, I want to say 36 weeks or something I had like the first little bit of prodromal labor.
• 17:06
  Nora: Maybe it was a little bit before that, and so it basically was like if I went into labor then I would have to go to the hospital because it was a little too early for legally, you know, for a home birth.
• 17:20
  Nora: And so that started to make me anxious at the end to realizing all of a sudden, oh man, like what if I have to go to the hospital?
• 17:26
  Nora: To realizing all of a sudden, oh man, like what if I have to go to the hospital?
• 17:28
  Nora: Don't want to do that.
• 17:30
  Nora: I definitely had.
• 17:32
  Nora: I had a dream towards the end of my pregnancy too, where I just went into the hospital for some other thing and they were like, oh, okay, and you're in here for a C-section today, so let's get that started.
• 17:42
  Nora: And in the dream I was so split.
• 17:48
  Nora: There was this part of me that was like, oh, this means I don't have to be pregnant anymore.
• 17:50
  Nora: Like what a relief, I can just be done now.
• 17:52
  Nora: But then immediately I was like, oh my God, no, like I can't.
• 17:56
  Nora: I can't have surgery.
• 17:57
  Nora: That's the nightmare.
• 17:58
  Nora: So yeah, it was just a lot, a lot of fear at the end there.
• 18:04
  Angela: Yeah, that's really interesting how your mind can really mess with you and those thoughts.
• 18:10
  Angela: And so now share with me about those final days or weeks leading up to when your labor started and about your birth.
• 18:19
  Nora: Yeah, well, you must have.
• 18:22
  Nora: I forget how many weeks I was when you came to do some maternity photos.
• 18:28
  Nora: I don't know if you remember.
• 18:29
  Angela: I think it was like 37 weeks.
• 18:31
  Nora: Right, it was for your home midwife visit yeah, okay, and that's when I think I was like I was in this interesting balance of being so done, being pregnant, just, yeah, really feeling huge and tired and not quite being ready for labor either, like, and every night I would go to bed with this mix of like, okay, maybe we'll just start tonight, and if it starts, I will accept it and be ready, and then every night I'd be like I just want to sleep, I just want a good night's sleep and I'm so tired and I think that's something probably a lot of women can relate to at the end.
• 19:15
  Nora: And I was having yeah, there were a handful of nights in the last weeks where I had this prodromal labor again too that I experienced with Vita, and it was more intense this time.
• 19:28
  Nora: Two, that I experienced with Vita, and it was more intense this time.
• 19:33
  Nora: I would get in the bath and sometimes they would slow down, but they would stay, the contractions would like stick around, and so I never really I was always questioning my body and, yeah, one night I like came down to sleep on the couch and I started timing them a few times and they would.
• 19:50
  Nora: They would last for like an hour more and be pretty regular and pretty strong, but then I would end up passing out and waking up like some hours later and they would be gone.
• 20:00
  Nora: So that's a weird thing to to not trust your body, sort of.
• 20:05
  Nora: To not trust your body sort of, and yeah.
• 20:15
  Nora: So that even continued until the night before I went into labor.
• 20:16
  Nora: Yeah, so it was at that point, after it was like just over 40 weeks just past my due date, and I had done a few things like I'd been seeing this pelvic floor therapist who I go to in Bucksport, casey Hutchins, and so I had like a few late appointments with her.
• 20:38
  Nora: And a few days before I went into labor I went to a chiropractor, a Webster certified chiropractor in Blue Hill.
• 20:48
  Nora: And I almost wonder, you know, I think this is kind of funny that I had on a Friday and I gave birth on a Sunday.
• 20:56
  Nora: I had this kind of last minute adjustment just to get everything.
• 21:01
  Nora: Yeah, like it was like right at the end I started to get nervous about like, ah, I just want to make sure like everything is aligned and I am kind of relaxed and comfortable.
• 21:09
  Nora: And after I saw her I stopped at the Hannaford in Bucksport and I saw I ran into my midwife just randomly, she was also there and it that felt like a sign kind of just another little funny thing before labor.
• 21:26
  Nora: And so it was, yeah, I also like I picked up my.
• 21:31
  Nora: I picked up Vita, my youngest daughter at the time, at the little school she goes to at this woman's house in Belfast and I kind of said I was like I don't think I'm going to see you next week.
• 21:43
  Nora: I think this is going to be the last time and you know Rob will be there to do the pickups.
• 21:49
  Nora: And that was February 2nd and I was like it'd be cool if she came tonight.
• 21:54
  Nora: You know, two, two would be a cool birthday.
• 21:56
  Nora: And then I even said but it would be really cool if she came on two, four, two, four.
• 22:01
  Nora: So we'll see.
• 22:05
  Nora: And it was Saturday night of that weekend that I again was having prodromal labor and it was like an hour of contract.
• 22:13
  Nora: It's the beginning, and so you'll probably hear from me soon or something like this.
• 22:30
  Nora: Like I knew we were still early, but I just felt like this was the real deal.
• 22:35
  Nora: And then I fell asleep and texted you both again like oh sorry, it was a false alarm and you were very encouraging.
• 22:45
  Nora: You were like this is all real, like your body is getting ready and you'll be fine, which was really good to hear at that time.
• 22:55
  Nora: And so that morning I basically slept pretty well that night.
• 22:59
  Nora: But that morning I came downstairs and had what I call the big cry with my husband, which I think is a pretty good sign Usually like when you really are at your limit and you are done and I just was like I felt so defeated.
• 23:16
  Nora: I was like my body hurts, I am exhausted, I'm scared, just kind of like venting all the things that I needed to get out.
• 23:24
  Nora: And he, you know, said like the absolute right thing, he was like I think you're being too hard on yourself and this baby's going to come.
• 23:34
  Nora: You know that and you just have to trust.
• 23:36
  Nora: But in that moment I just, like you know, kind of sighed and was like oh, you don't get it.
• 23:43
  Nora: You know like I just was so tired and sad and I went to the bathroom and when I wiped it was like a little bit pink and this.
• 23:54
  Nora: Then I started laughing kind of and I was just like okay, this tracks like right as I'm done, this, this is the end, and that had never happened to me either time before with my first my water actually like a trickle, started before I had any other symptoms, and with my second I lost my mucus plug, like in full blown labor.
• 24:17
  Nora: So I never really had like this little hint and I thought, okay, it's either going to be today or tomorrow.
• 24:24
  Nora: I think I feel pretty confident about that.
• 24:27
  Nora: And I must have texted you that morning too.
• 24:33
  Nora: I definitely called Holly and she was like, okay, well, I'll just be home today, like you know, keep me posted.
• 24:41
  Nora: And even like, yeah, it's my third time around.
• 24:45
  Nora: You'd think I would just like have it under control.
• 24:47
  Nora: But I still was asking her.
• 24:48
  Nora: I was like, well, how long?
• 24:50
  Nora: You know, how long do you think it's going to be, and do you think I should like pretend, like tell myself that it's going to be days?
• 24:55
  Nora: And she was like you could tell yourself that and I could.
• 24:59
  Nora: It was, yeah, her way of being, like I think I'm going to be seeing you sooner than that, but sure, like do do.
• 25:10
  Nora: And she kind of said she was like I, I'll be home, but I don't anticipate anything happening until your older girls go to bed, which makes sense, and that's, you know what they always say.
• 25:15
  Nora: And and so, yeah, I just was kind of.
• 25:19
  Nora: It was this really cool zone to be in.
• 25:22
  Nora: Like I was excited, but I knew not to get too like psyched up and so I just said, you know, let's, it was a Sunday.
• 25:30
  Nora: We usually like go into Belfast and get donuts and take a walk and just like have a day.
• 25:36
  Nora: So I was like, let's just do that, let's get coffees, you know.
• 25:39
  Nora: And Rob was kind of like, are you sure we should be doing this?
• 25:43
  Nora: Like, are you sure you want to go out?
• 25:44
  Nora: And I was like, yeah, I have to pretend that it's a normal day and what's the worst that's going to happen?
• 25:54
  Nora: Like we come home, or you know, I I've never been a precipitous labor person and I don't think I ever will be.
• 25:56
  Nora: So I was like, yeah, I think it's going to be fine.
• 25:59
  Nora: We went for a walk.
• 26:01
  Nora: Um, oh, actually right, when I like came out of the bathroom and I told Rob what was going on, my daughters had put on just like a random playlist and the mother by Brandy Carlisle was playing, and this felt like a sign too, and I texted my friend who had told me about that song because I hadn't heard it until like that year when she sent it to me on mother's day and I was like, oh man, this, yeah, this is a sign.
• 26:29
  Nora: And so we went for a walk just up our road and I had like four contractions on that walk, which is only maybe 20 minutes, um, and they were pretty strong.
• 26:40
  Nora: I had to kind of, like you know, waddle and sway a little bit, but they still felt like good.
• 26:50
  Nora: In quotes, you know, it was kind of exciting and after one I would feel like kind of energized, like okay, like this is happening and I'm doing a great job.
• 27:02
  Nora: We went into town.
• 27:03
  Nora: I had one in the car.
• 27:05
  Nora: It seemed like as long as I wasn't moving, they slowed down a lot, but I did have to get out at some point to like I don't know, probably help one of my girls out of her car seat or something.
• 27:16
  Nora: And I got hit with like a really big contraction outside, and it was really cold that day, I remember too, and I was just like outside the car having this huge contraction and there were people around and stuff and I was like, oh my God, okay, it's probably time to go home.
• 27:32
  Nora: This is getting kind of intense.
• 27:34
  Nora: I still ate lunch.
• 27:36
  Nora: I had an appetite at that point and I knew too.
• 27:39
  Nora: I was like you got to eat while you can and drink.
• 27:44
  Nora: I was like drinking a ton of you know water with electrolytes and stuff and really trying to do all that before it got too heavy.
• 27:52
  Nora: And yeah, when the girls went down for their nap, things picked up, so it was kind of that.
• 27:59
  Nora: Like once I had a moment to focus on it, it got pretty intense then.
• 28:04
  Nora: So that was, yeah, between like one and three they nap usually and kind of around three.
• 28:10
  Nora: It was really getting pretty strong and it was not fun anymore.
• 28:15
  Nora: So I sort of count this as like okay, that's.
• 28:19
  Nora: Yeah, that's when things really got real and I was losing a lot of mucus, like I could feel it coming out of me.
• 28:26
  Nora: It was so weird and I had to lean over our countertops and I was like moaning and really like squatting low.
• 28:36
  Nora: And when I I had one intense one and walked away and realized there was like kind of a puddle of pink water on the floor, I was like, okay, I guess I'm like losing water now too.
• 28:46
  Nora: I was like okay, I guess I'm like losing water now too.
• 28:48
  Nora: And I called Holly and must have texted you again, kind of around this time, just saying, yeah, like things are getting wet to basically and pretty strong.
• 29:00
  Nora: And yeah, I think she said too, but I know you were kind of like okay, do you want me to come now?
• 29:07
  Nora: Or like what are you thinking?
• 29:08
  Nora: And I just kept saying to both of you like I'm just, yeah, I'm going to wait, I think I'm still good.
• 29:16
  Nora: It was, and I will say the contractions were never consistent and that was a big part of me kind of wondering.
• 29:23
  Nora: I was like no, I think I'm still good, because they could still be like 10 minutes apart, totally random, but clearly getting stronger and kind of getting to that point where, like after I had that huge one and there was water on the ground, I went to the bathroom and it was kind of like I couldn't walk normal anymore.
• 29:43
  Nora: It felt like I mean, it's probably like the bag of waters was in you know the birth canal at that point, because I was just like, oh my God, I feel like there's something.
• 29:51
  Nora: Yeah, like it was no longer normal feeling and I think, yeah, I got in the bath.
• 29:59
  Nora: At this point, rob like got a bath going for me and got the girls.
• 30:04
  Nora: So this was kind of between like three and four in the afternoon that I got in the tub to just, yeah, relax, and we had told Holly because she can bring a birth pool.
• 30:17
  Nora: But I had that for both of my first births and I just was like let's not bother with it, like I don't usually give birth in the tub and it takes so long to fill it up and like boiling the water and all these things just felt like too much and I was like we have a nice tub upstairs so I'll just do that to get comfortable.
• 30:34
  Nora: And that helped a lot.
• 30:37
  Nora: But it was getting really strong.
• 30:39
  Nora: Like things did not slow down up there and Rob took we usually go on an evening walk too so he took the girls out and kind of checked in.
• 30:48
  Nora: He was like are you good if I take them for the walk?
• 30:51
  Nora: And I was like, yep, we're still like, I'll just call Holly when I need to.
• 30:53
  Nora: But again, it felt nice.
• 30:56
  Nora: It was just like I know that there's nothing to do until the very end, and that was kind of one of my intentions.
• 31:03
  Nora: I was like I don't want to be watched this time.
• 31:07
  Nora: Like I don't want to be watched this time.
• 31:11
  Nora: That's really hard.
• 31:12
  Nora: I needed that more with Vida and with Irina, like I felt like I did need more of that support, but this time I kept leaning like I knew it wasn't for me, but I kept understanding free birth more and more.
• 31:21
  Nora: I was like, yeah, I can totally get just like letting your body take over, being totally alone.
• 31:28
  Nora: You know like how animals give birth and that this is the ideal way to just be quiet, dark, warm.
• 31:35
  Nora: But um, it is funny, like towards the end of pregnancy and in labor I was like no, no, no, I need someone there, like I'm not.
• 31:42
  Nora: I support you if you want to do that, and it is also like not where I'm at, but yeah.
• 31:47
  Nora: So he took the girls for a walk and when they came back I got out of the tub for a little while and like, washed my face, got dressed, came downstairs.
• 31:58
  Nora: So this must have been around five and they had picked up a present from one of our neighbors on the walk, which was very sweet Like.
• 32:08
  Nora: They ran into our neighbor and Rob was like yep, nora's in labor.
• 32:10
  Nora: And Dave was like, oh my God, what are you doing out here?
• 32:12
  Nora: Like, why are you?
• 32:13
  Nora: Why is she alone in there?
• 32:15
  Nora: And he gave us this like little onesie with chickens on it, which is very sweet.
• 32:20
  Nora: So I opened that and like I mean, it's just crazy to think how close I was to giving birth.
• 32:25
  Nora: Rob started dinner and he was making salmon which I like.
• 32:31
  Nora: I kept it to myself but I was like, oh my God, why did you choose?
• 32:35
  Nora: Like to be in labor and smelling fish?
• 32:37
  Nora: I was like this is way too much.
• 32:39
  Nora: And he was like do you want some?
• 32:41
  Nora: And I was like no, at that point I was way past.
• 32:44
  Nora: Yeah, I couldn't eat anything.
• 32:46
  Nora: Went back upstairs to get in the tub and I called Holly at five 40 and was very like.
• 32:55
  Nora: I looked at the timestamps on my calls to her.
• 32:57
  Nora: I called her three times and they each like the first one was like two minutes and then it was one minute and then it was 58 seconds.
• 33:02
  Nora: Was the five 40 phone call and I remember just being like I'm ready for you to be and she's about an hour away, which I was figuring in the whole time, and I texted you at that point also to say Holly was coming and you asked if I wanted you there now or like in an hour when Holly would be there, and I was like yep, I think an hour is fine.
• 33:24
  Nora: And I was definitely in like transition and getting a little panicky.
• 33:29
  Nora: At that point I was on my hands and knees up in our bedroom and I had a really intense contraction.
• 33:35
  Nora: I was like really moaning and Rob came up again to just kind of be like are you good?
• 33:42
  Nora: Like do you need anything?
• 33:43
  Nora: And still, everything was fine.
• 33:46
  Nora: So I got back in.
• 33:47
  Nora: Um, and this is when time starts to really get weird also.
• 33:54
  Nora: So it was probably yeah, I probably got in the tub just before six.
• 33:59
  Nora: I remember him like putting on a movie for the girls.
• 34:03
  Nora: I could tell that this was happening downstairs, like dinner was finishing up.
• 34:07
  Nora: He put on Toy Story for the girls to watch and was kind of he kept like coming back up and sitting next to me, sitting on the floor next to me and just checking in and doing cold washcloths, cause I really was at that point where I couldn't even ask for what I want or I didn't even really know what I wanted.
• 34:25
  Nora: And so it was nice that he just like remembered to do that and I had a glass of water and I had the comb, which I was sort of just curious about trying this time and I don't know if it helped, but it was like I don't.
• 34:41
  Nora: I don't know if it helped with the pain actually, but it did help my mind to just like have another thing to grip onto during each contraction.
• 34:50
  Nora: So yeah, I don't know if people know that, but it's like if you hold a comb in your palm, apparently like the pain receptors go there first, which is funny to tell someone when they're in like full blown.
• 35:03
  Nora: But it did help.
• 35:05
  Nora: It just helped to have it was kind of like a meditation, so every contraction I would just like grip on that comb, grip one side of the tub, and Rob would have the washcloth going and it was really in that kind of like meditative state at that point.
• 35:19
  Nora: And I asked him, I was like how do I seem right now?
• 35:24
  Nora: And he was like you seem really high and I knew that this was because that's what he always says.
• 35:31
  Nora: He's like it's weird, like when you are really close in labor, you seem so high, like out of your mind, and so I was like, okay, this is good, like I'm getting close if that's what he is seeing, and so you showed up a little.
• 35:44
  Angela: I don't know if you know what time exactly you showed up but I was around seven o'clock, I think it was just maybe five minutes before Holly got there.
• 36:06
  Nora: Okay, yeah, and the girls were getting ready for bed in the bathroom and that was a moment that was pretty intense for me to try to cause.
• 36:09
  Nora: You know, like little kids right before bed are kind of at their maximum hyper and they were like brushing their teeth and laughing and doing all this stuff and I was like Whoa boy, this is a lot to just be in the bathroom with them, but Rob was handling it and it didn't last that long.
• 36:26
  Nora: And I remember when you showed up and if I remember I feel like I was having a contraction kind of right as you were coming upstairs, I remember Vita being like Angela's here, angela's here, and you came in like you were super calm and you like peeked in the bathroom and you were like this is hard or this is intense or something like that, I don't know.
• 36:54
  Nora: Like I really was a little, a little panicked.
• 36:59
  Nora: But again I kept.
• 37:01
  Nora: I kept going back into my head and being like you can't, it's not going to help to like get in that head space, so you got to just keep going.
• 37:10
  Nora: And then Holly showed up and the girls must've been in their bedroom at this point, but obviously not asleep like just kind of playing in there and I could tell when she showed up because our dog barked and so I knew yeah, and she kind of came right up and started getting everything out, which made me feel really good, like obviously I knew I was close, but it's always reassuring.
• 37:31
  Nora: She just started calmly like, yeah, setting everything up and getting the blankets warmed, I'm like.
• 37:37
  Nora: And then kind of the stressful things to see too.
• 37:40
  Nora: Like it's always a little stressful when you see like the neonatal resuscitation kit come out and it was just like, of course, all the things they need.
• 37:47
  Nora: But it is kind of an interesting thing at the end of labor to be like, oh, yeah, like that, might, that might be a thing.
• 37:55
  Nora: And she also, like she, her presence is so nice, like you and her, both were just like, yeah, very calm and quiet when you showed up and she kind of got right next to me in the tub and was like hey, how's it going?
• 38:09
  Nora: And I, yeah, I think.
• 38:11
  Nora: I think what I said to her was like this is hard.
• 38:13
  Nora: And I said yeah, I was like I am having all these thoughts, like I'm ready for the epidural, I don't want to be here anymore, I just want to go to the hospital.
• 38:24
  Nora: And I I was aware that these were just, yes, very end of labor thoughts, but it was pretty real this time, like more so than I've ever experienced in labor.
• 38:34
  Nora: I really was like man, I don't want to do this anymore.
• 38:39
  Nora: And I know I have to and I know that the hardest part is coming.
• 38:43
  Nora: And I, you know, probably had a couple more contractions and I said to her again this kind of last ditch, like help me.
• 38:50
  Nora: I was like, well, what do you think, holly?
• 38:57
  Nora: And she was like I think you're not going to bed until you have this baby.
• 39:00
  Nora: And I was like, okay, thanks a lot.
• 39:01
  Nora: Yeah, like I know.
• 39:02
  Angela: But I think she also asked you at that point if your water had broken, and it happened when she got there.
• 39:10
  Nora: Yeah, so that, yeah, so she got there.
• 39:13
  Nora: I looked at her notes and she got there at 7.10.
• 39:15
  Nora: And it had not broken, which I wasn't totally surprised by, because with Vita it didn't break until kind of the very end too.
• 39:24
  Nora: And yeah, she went back down to get some more stuff downstairs.
• 39:29
  Nora: I was on my hands and knees and I was starting to get pushy.
• 39:33
  Nora: I was on my hands and knees and I was starting to get pushy and then my water like popped in the tub and it was such a relief which was what it was like with Vita too and I think I even said I was like, oh, thank God, like that part, because that just it's so much pressure and to have that release was like it was a relief, and that felt a lot better and I knew it just meant we were getting closer, and I did.
• 39:56
  Nora: I remember it must've been after my water broke that I did check myself like a few times, but I couldn't feel ahead and so I was like, ah, okay, I guess we're not.
• 40:05
  Nora: I guess we're not as close as I thought.
• 40:08
  Nora: Holly came back up.
• 40:09
  Nora: Her assistant must've showed up kind of right around like seven, 20 or something, dion, who I had not met before because I thought we were going to have aura.
• 40:21
  Nora: She was there for the home visit, but she works at Holly number seven and they were like so busy in February.
• 40:29
  Nora: Yeah, I guess I haven't mentioned that my due date was January 31st, but yeah, so she, it was like a last minute change and this other woman, dion, was going to be there and I didn't mind.
• 40:40
  Nora: I was like, you know, at that point I don't care who shows up, kind of I'm not going to be in it, but she was really great.
• 40:47
  Nora: Like her presence was so nice also, and so that's a really special thing to get to meet someone that you probably will never see again.
• 40:55
  Nora: But you're like, wow, you really.
• 40:56
  Nora: You know you made my birth very special and I must have started pushing after my water had broken because, yeah, at this point I looked at the notes and I think it was seven, 25, my water broke and I think I started pushing shortly after that because I was feeling like it was I was bearing down, but it was not the fetal ejection reflex, like I knew I was going to have to work pretty hard, but my body was also, you know, working with me and I was leaning back.
• 41:28
  Nora: So, yeah, again, I kind of ended up on my back, like this position that I didn't think I would be in this time.
• 41:36
  Nora: I pictured being on my hands and knees, but I think I feel more vulnerable in that position, actually, or like more out of control for some reason, and so it was more relaxing to just kind of like lean back in the tub, I guess, because that's what you do in the tub also, like you usually are reclining, and I started pushing and I was very aware this time to not I was really trying to not make noise until like the end of the contraction, really keep all of that energy in and like push it downwards and all these things that I could remember from labor and it was really hard.
• 42:12
  Nora: I mean, pushing is very hard for me.
• 42:15
  Nora: I don't yeah, I don't have that like ejection reflex, but it also felt very effective and I do.
• 42:23
  Nora: I know I checked myself like after maybe one or two pushes and I could feel her head like right there.
• 42:31
  Nora: I think she was like maybe two knuckles.
• 42:35
  Nora: You know I could, and I said that to Rob.
• 42:38
  Nora: I was like, oh, the head's like right there and he was in disbelief.
• 42:41
  Nora: He says he like had no idea, like he knew I was close, but he was surprised too that that was how close it was getting.
• 42:49
  Nora: So I don't really remember how many pushes it was.
• 42:52
  Nora: It was not very many no-transcript do right now and it was nice because Holly just said she was like, hmm, you know, I think it's just a matter of her head molding, like basically, she was just like you need to be patient right now and it's fine and I think, yeah, like she started crowning and that that was probably the most intense.
• 43:42
  Nora: You know, when they're kind of not quite out, not quite in, and you're like stretching and the water, I think, did really help.
• 43:49
  Nora: This was my first time giving birth in water, so that was interesting and but that to be like in between, because inevitably or not with everyone, but with me, like I had a pause, it was like her head started coming out and then I needed to wait for the next contraction and that's like she really was kind of this terrible feeling.
• 44:11
  Nora: And rob Rob says he noticed he was like, yeah, you seemed pretty frantic at that point, like frantic to be done or to get her out, and with the next contraction her head like popped out is what it felt like.
• 44:26
  Nora: It was crazy and I in my head I was like you can go slow, you can take your time and like, stretch slowly and that's probably better for your body.
• 44:37
  Nora: But I was like, or you could be done now, you could just be done with labor and done with pregnancy.
• 44:45
  Nora: And that's really what took over for sure.
• 44:47
  Nora: And I pushed so hard and screamed with that push and her head was out and I think Rob kind of started laughing, or he, cause he has never seen me give birth actually.
• 45:00
  Nora: I mean, he was there for my C-section, so that's, he did see that, but it was obviously very different.
• 45:06
  Nora: And then with Vita, he had just missed the moment she came out, like he was with our older daughter and so she was already out of me and it was really cool to have him right there and see her like come out and I could feel her moving, like they do, like the way that they make that rotation kind of or wiggle, and that was so surreal and I'm really glad that I got to experience that.
• 45:34
  Nora: It was like, yeah, she was wiggling but like not totally out of me.
• 45:37
  Nora: And then I really started to get frantic and afraid of her shoulders and just like, yeah, I just asked Holly for help with the next contraction and I don't know exactly how I said it.
• 45:52
  Nora: I think I just might've said I need help or I want help with this one.
• 45:56
  Nora: And so, yeah, with the next contraction the rest of her body was born.
• 46:00
  Nora: And I asked Holly what she did and she said I think what she said was that she just pushed on her top shoulder to kind of just make sure it came under the pubic bone a little easier.
• 46:12
  Nora: I wasn't like super afraid of shoulder dystocia but I just at that point in labor I was just freaking out because it's the end of labor, so it's kind of frantic and that was crazy Like it felt so fast.
• 46:27
  Nora: I was sure when I went into labor that morning that it would be past midnight.
• 46:31
  Nora: You know, before I had a baby I was like there's no way.
• 46:33
  Nora: And it felt so quick once things really got going.
• 46:39
  Nora: So she, that was like seven, 56.
• 46:41
  Nora: It was right before eight and Holly got there a little after seven.
• 46:44
  Nora: So that's pretty, pretty quick for me, especially like for my other births, the timelines and it was great.
• 46:52
  Nora: And I don't know who brought the girls in then.
• 46:56
  Nora: I don't know if you did that, did you go with?
• 46:59
  Angela: them.
• 46:59
  Angela: So there was like kind of a minute right after she was born and then Rob went and got them.
• 47:03
  Angela: Yeah.
• 47:04
  Nora: It was like all right, let's see, you know, they can meet their sister.
• 47:07
  Nora: And they were awake still and they knew yeah, I read her.
• 47:09
  Nora: My oldest was like the way she says she's like so, yeah, irina, my oldest was like the way she says she's like I heard a big scream and I knew that the baby was here.
• 47:16
  Nora: And I think that's great, that this is like.
• 47:19
  Nora: This is their experience of birth.
• 47:22
  Nora: It's like, oh, there's a scream, but it's not bad.
• 47:24
  Nora: And it's like, yeah, there's your sister in the bathtub.
• 47:28
  Nora: I mean just pretty laid back really, and I'm I'm very glad.
• 47:32
  Nora: I mean, who knows how they will remember it later, but I think it's pretty sweet.
• 47:37
  Angela: Yeah, it was really special.
• 47:38
  Angela: After they brushed their teeth, Rob got them settled into their room and they're asking him is the baby going to come soon?
• 47:45
  Angela: Is it going to be loud?
• 47:47
  Angela: And Rob said, well, there might be some noise, but everything's okay, or something like that, which you could tell was just perfect and exactly what they needed to hear to be reassured all is well and everything happening was totally normal.
• 48:02
  Angela: And after he closed the door and went back to sit with you, I could hear them singing songs and giggling and they were having such a great night.
• 48:11
  Angela: It was a really special thing to witness.
• 48:16
  Nora: Yeah, I feel like they I mean they knew obviously, like they were aware of the energy, but that is really sweet Like and it, you know, it's really I feel really fortunate to like have a husband who's on that same page too, of like she's doing a great job.
• 48:33
  Nora: Like I remember earlier in the day they were like Whoa, what's going on?
• 48:36
  Nora: Like why is she making all that noise?
• 48:38
  Nora: And he was like she's working really hard.
• 48:40
  Nora: So you can just say like good job.
• 48:42
  Nora: Yeah, it felt, you know, it really was like a family affair for sure.
• 48:48
  Angela: Yeah, he did a great job guiding them through that.
• 48:51
  Nora: yeah, just yeah, yeah, so then, yeah then the timing is weird for me too, because it felt really short.
• 49:01
  Nora: It felt like just a blip of just staying in the tub yeah like getting to see the baby and just like cuddling with her and the girls meeting her, and it was really sweet and very exciting.
• 49:13
  Nora: And I thought, when she came out, I was like, oh, she seems so small, you know, cause I hadn't seen a baby in a long time and I was like, oh, she's probably smaller than Vita was when she was born and Vita was like eight, 13, like kind of getting close to nine pounds, but this baby just seemed, I don't know.
• 49:33
  Nora: I was like she's not that big, but I did feel.
• 49:36
  Nora: I think I said like after she came out, I was like I think I tore and Holly was like, oh well, we'll see, like whatever.
• 49:43
  Nora: But I just, I don't know, I I feel like I could tell that that had happened and then it had probably been.
• 49:59
  Nora: I think Holly said it had been like around 45 minutes and this is this is sort of hard for me to remember.
• 50:01
  Nora: I don't know if I started bleeding and then she kind of was like let's work on the placenta, or maybe it was a little of both.
• 50:08
  Nora: Like I w I wasn't having any afterbirth contractions and I started to be like huh, like okay, we should probably start thinking about the placenta, but to me it felt like it had been 10 minutes.
• 50:20
  Nora: So I was like, well, you know there's no rush.
• 50:22
  Nora: And I had you know, theodora is my third baby's name, but she didn't have a name yet, but I so I was starting to nurse her.
• 50:31
  Nora: Holly was like why don't you just see if that will bring on contractions?
• 50:44
  Nora: And it wasn't.
• 50:44
  Nora: And I started getting a little anxious because, just because of what I know about birth, I was like, oh, like retained placenta can be a thing.
• 50:48
  Nora: And, yeah, I started to get a little worried just knowing that that might be what was happening.
• 50:55
  Nora: And Holly was sort of like doing traction on the cord while I pushed.
• 51:01
  Nora: But it was so hard for me to push at that point, especially when my body was not like helping, uh, with any contractions there, because I just, yeah, it's like you've just pushed a baby out, there's not a lot of like muscle strength left.
• 51:17
  Nora: And then I think the the tub like got totally red and so it's hard to tell if that's just a little blood or a lot of blood.
• 51:24
  Nora: But Holly was like, okay, why don't you get up, you know, and let's see if it just she kept being positive.
• 51:29
  Nora: She was like it'll just come out.
• 51:30
  Nora: It'll probably just, like you know, fall out when you stand up, and that didn't happen.
• 51:34
  Nora: And I was pushing and she was kind of like pulling while I was pushing and standing and holding Theodora.
• 51:40
  Nora: And then, yeah, you like helped me remember what she actually said.
• 51:44
  Nora: She was like okay, I want you to like stop bleeding now or something like this.
• 51:48
  Nora: And to see her face change in that moment was really a little scary for me, because she's and I think a lot of midwives, you know, it's like they are very hands-off, they're really laid back and then, like, when they say something, it usually means it's time to do something.
• 52:06
  Nora: So, yeah, I got out of the tub, kind of made my way to the bedroom, but I was getting and it's pretty like a very short walk to the bedroom, but I did start like my ears started ringing and I started getting really faint and that was pretty scary to recognize too, like I've never felt like that after giving birth.
• 52:25
  Nora: And I got in the bed and it immediately, you know, like once I was just laying down, it was better, but everyone was moving pretty quickly and I don't know where Rob was at this.
• 52:36
  Nora: I mean, I think he joined me pretty quickly.
• 52:38
  Nora: But I don't know, maybe he was like I think he tried to like go back downstairs with the girls to put a movie on again, to just like occupy them.
• 52:46
  Nora: But so, yeah, I got a shot of Pitocin.
• 52:49
  Nora: The assistant midwife did that, Holly, maybe the assistant too.
• 52:53
  Nora: Someone checked my blood pressure and it was okay.
• 52:56
  Nora: So that was good to hear Like it was holding, but lower than normal obviously, and Holly kind of had to like she didn't have to do a fully manual extraction, whereas like I mean I think they have to like put their whole arm basically inside of you if they have to do that.
• 53:16
  Nora: So luckily it had started to come out, but just like was not fully coming out and she was afraid that it was coming out in pieces.
• 53:23
  Nora: So she kind of went in and just like helped it out gently, although it felt pretty awful I mean that was probably the worst part of the burn.
• 53:32
  Nora: It felt pretty awful, I mean that was probably the worst part of the burn.
• 53:35
  Nora: But she did get it out pretty quickly and noticed that the bleeding subsided a lot like once it was out.
• 53:40
  Nora: So she wasn't too worried.
• 53:42
  Nora: I think pretty quickly she felt like it was okay.
• 53:44
  Nora: She checked it over to make sure that there were no like little pieces left inside.
• 53:49
  Nora: And she, yeah, she did.
• 53:51
  Nora: She could tell that it was all one, but it had just started to kind of like some pieces of it were kind of coming apart, yeah.
• 54:00
  Nora: So that was like a pretty quick turn after like a great birth and all of this excitement.
• 54:06
  Nora: And then it was like, oh my God, okay, this quick shift.
• 54:09
  Nora: And I started to wonder like, oh my God, if I have to transfer now, that would be really, really hard and I hope I don't have to do that and I'm really glad that I did not have to do that.
• 54:21
  Nora: So that was a little bit of yeah, like an anxious moment that passed quickly.
• 54:26
  Nora: And then, yeah, then I like had some peanut butter toast and Holly asked me if she wanted to do the like the newborn exam or to do stitches, because she did.
• 54:42
  Nora: She was like, okay, you did tear and we'll have to do that.
• 54:44
  Nora: I was like, yeah, let's get the bad thing out of the way.
• 54:47
  Nora: First, like let's do the stitches.
• 54:51
  Nora: And with Vita I had a second degree tear and had to get stitches and it didn't really bother me, like I wasn't, it wasn't that uncomfortable and even getting the shot of lidocaine and everything I was like, yeah, it's fine, but this with this one maybe because it was a faster birth and I just wasn't as numb from giving birth, I don't know, but that was pretty uncomfortable and I was really grateful to have Rob right there.
• 55:15
  Nora: Like I was like squeezing his hand and leaning on him and it went pretty quickly.
• 55:19
  Nora: But, yeah, that was also not totally pleasant.
• 55:23
  Nora: Um, and it was a second degree tear this time as well.
• 55:27
  Nora: Yeah, and I think that's like all I remember.
• 55:31
  Nora: Really, we got to like do the tour of the placenta and yeah, I mean, that's such a sweet thing about having a home birth like that all of that can happen just in your bed and like with, yeah, I was nursing her and she latched right away and was like eating right away and Holly did, she picked her up and, you know, like a midwife's hands.
• 55:56
  Nora: I think she was like this is like a nine pound baby, for sure, but when she put her on the scale, she was 9, 11 and a half and I think all of us were like whoa, okay, that, and it felt yeah, it was like okay, that's why I was really uncomfortable at the end and that explains yeah, like I know that you can have a big baby and not tear, but her head was like close to 15 inches too.
• 56:25
  Nora: I mean she's just, she's a big baby.
• 56:27
  Nora: So I was like, okay, yeah, that's, it's a little harder to get that out, and she was.
• 56:33
  Nora: I mean, everything else was fine after that placenta issue and yeah, I mean they were there, like everyone was there for a couple hours after birth, but then we just, yeah, we're like cozy in bed.
• 56:46
  Nora: I think I had some nettle tea because of blood loss.
• 56:51
  Nora: Yeah, holly said I think I lost like four cups of blood, is what I want to say.
• 56:59
  Nora: So that's, as she said, like more than you like to see with a vaginal birth for sure.
• 57:06
  Nora: Yeah, I can't remember if anything else really happened in that time, but it was sweet.
• 57:11
  Nora: It was just like cozy, the wind, I yeah, I remember it being like howling outside.
• 57:16
  Nora: It felt super cozy and you had lent me that book about home birth.
• 57:21
  Nora: I forget what it's called welcome with love.
• 57:25
  Nora: Yeah and that is like a story of a windy night and like getting the wood stove going, and that was one of the last things before everyone left.
• 57:33
  Nora: Rob was like, oh, I gotta go stoke the wood stove.
• 57:35
  Nora: Like it just felt so cozy and nice to be with this, this giant baby.
• 57:41
  Nora: All cozy, though, yeah, we didn't have a name for a couple days, especially because especially because, you know, I was just up in bed and Rob was downstairs with the girls, and so we kind of almost couldn't like communicate a ton and I was like we got to pick a name, like we got to.
• 57:58
  Nora: We're going through this list and at the very end of pregnancy my mother-in-law had suggested.
• 58:05
  Nora: She was like, you know, these two names came to me, I really like Theodora or Alexandra, and I liked both of them and it is also funny because those are Keith Richards daughter's names, which she didn't know.
• 58:18
  Nora: But I was like, do you realize that this is you've picked like rockstar children's names?
• 58:22
  Nora: And so we kind of, yeah, we're like going down and we had this list of names and none of them felt quite right and I was like, oh, what about Theodora?
• 58:27
  Nora: And we had this list of names and none of them felt quite right and I was like, oh, what about Theodora?
• 58:29
  Nora: And then and Rob said it was like you know, when her head came out, the name Dora like flashed kind of.
• 58:36
  Nora: So I was like, okay, I guess that's her name.
• 58:39
  Nora: Like it kind of came to us or she, she chose it.
• 58:44
  Nora: So and I finally did the thing that midwives always say like I really stayed in bed for the first week and I think that helped a lot, especially with blood loss.
• 58:54
  Nora: Like the first night and day I couldn't really get out of bed to go to the bathroom.
• 59:01
  Nora: Like it just felt too shaky kind of and it felt like I was going to pass out if I stood up or walked.
• 59:08
  Nora: So it was like kind of rough.
• 59:11
  Nora: The first day I just like peed on Chuck's pads in the bed because that's about all I could handle.
• 59:18
  Nora: And then, after you know a day or so, I felt a lot better and it was kind of crazy like how quickly I felt better and I was taking Floridix and, yeah, just drinking a lot of metal, tea, bone broth, eating a ton.
• 59:34
  Angela: Yeah, I think it's so important, especially in that very early postpartum period and definitely if you've had some tearing, to really follow your body and not move around like really minimize it If it feels too hard for you, even if it means peeing on pads and freeblading onto pads and, like you said, that time period passes quickly, but it's so important to tune into what your needs are in that early postpartum time.
• 1:00:00
  Nora: Yeah, it was nice that Holly like gave me a couple options.
• 1:00:03
  Nora: She was like, well, we could get a bowl, like you can try to get out of bed and pee in a bowl.
• 1:00:07
  Nora: I was like I can't imagine doing that.
• 1:00:09
  Nora: She was like, okay, well, you can just pee in the bed.
• 1:00:12
  Nora: Yeah, it's like that's what I'm gonna do.
• 1:00:15
  Nora: It is very like, very humbling to give birth and, yeah, really important, like you said, to like listen and slow down, sure so how has your postpartum time been going since then?
• 1:00:31
  Nora: It's been the best, the best postpartum that I've had, I think, because I just took it really easy and that is, like you know, largely in part to Rob doing so much, so that's that was like pretty major and very lucky in that way.
• 1:00:49
  Nora: He just like took care of everything, fed me a lot, um, and we set up a meal train this time, which we'd never done, and that is huge.
• 1:00:58
  Nora: Like you know, people want to help and that's such an easy way to help and we got like several weeks of dinners just, and that's just so nice and nice like for everyone to just not have to think about it and, yeah, really sweet to be like cared for by your community.
• 1:01:19
  Nora: So that helped a lot.
• 1:01:21
  Nora: Yeah, and just, I don't know, we also I think just Theodora's like temperament is very laid back and that helps and you never know, you know, but with the older girls we always had like that witching hour of just screaming and crying in the evenings, but she kind of like hasn't done that, and so she's pretty, yeah, she's pretty sweet the third time around, you just know, like you're just more in tune and you're less anxious, and so that helps.
• 1:01:50
  Nora: It's like, is she chiller or are we chiller?
• 1:01:54
  Nora: It's probably both, but it really has been great.
• 1:01:57
  Nora: It's, you know, obviously super emotional.
• 1:02:00
  Nora: Like the first week is a roller coaster.
• 1:02:03
  Nora: And I was so sad this time in the first week, like just sobbing, being like is this our last baby?
• 1:02:11
  Nora: Which is funny, because at the end of pregnancy I actually like recorded a voice note for myself that was like remember, remember this, like remember how hard it is and how anxious you are, because if you think that you want another, just like think about the end of pregnancy and how nervous you are to give birth.
• 1:02:29
  Nora: So, but right away, like oh no, is this our last baby?
• 1:02:34
  Nora: And rob was just like you know, you don't have to decide that right now, you don't have to make that decision.
• 1:02:41
  Nora: And yeah, like I think at this point it's kind of like, well, we'll see.
• 1:02:45
  Nora: You know, still we don't have to decide.
• 1:02:46
  Nora: It's kind of like well, we'll see, you know, still we don't have to decide.
• 1:02:50
  Nora: It's not a given whether she'll be our last.
• 1:02:53
  Nora: She certainly could, but who knows?
• 1:02:56
  Angela: Yeah, it's so funny how you go through all those emotions, like with the hormones and everything right after it's wild.
• 1:03:03
  Nora: Yeah, I was talking to Holly postpartum and she was like I can remember on day five that I was crying about my son going to college, like that he was one day going to go to college, like that's how kind of out of your mind you are postpartum.
• 1:03:19
  Nora: So luckily that has subsided and I feel pretty balanced at this point.
• 1:03:24
  Nora: But yeah, it's pretty wild.
• 1:03:27
  Nora: You just like have to let it all come and I wrote a lot of it down.
• 1:03:32
  Nora: It's like I do want to remember all these things, but it will pass too.
• 1:03:37
  Angela: Yeah, oh, my goodness, that is an incredible story and I really love how you you really did trust your intuition and you knew you didn't want to be watched and you just, you know, waited until that last minute to call everybody there and it was literally the perfect timing, because we were all there just for like 45 minutes or like an hour before the baby was born.
• 1:03:59
  Nora: So I know I was kind of like, well, that's I guess a nice birth to get called to, like to just be there at the end you still get to go to bed that night.
• 1:04:07
  Nora: Yeah it was.
• 1:04:08
  Nora: I even wonder and kind of think that I maybe was holding off at the end, Like I think she could have been born sooner and I kind of did need Holly to be there in this way to really let go.
• 1:04:21
  Nora: But who knows it was, it was like a perfect birth and perfect timing.
• 1:04:26
  Angela: So now I know I asked this the last time you were a podcast guest, but now, after your third birth, as a final question if you were to give advice to someone who's expecting, or even new parents, what would be the biggest thing right now that you would say to someone?
• 1:04:44
  Nora: Yeah, I really like this question and have been thinking about it because I know that you ask this, so I've been really thinking about this a lot.
• 1:04:49
  Nora: And the first I really like this question and have been thinking about it because I know that you ask this, so I've been really thinking about this a lot.
• 1:04:51
  Nora: And the first I have a few things.
• 1:04:54
  Nora: But the first thing is this quote that I read towards the very end of pregnancy and I probably am not going to exactly quote it, but it's a Ram Dass quote.
• 1:05:04
  Nora: That's like you can do it like it's a great weight on you, or you can do it like it's part of the dance and this really like stuck with me.
• 1:05:13
  Nora: I was like that's such a great way to approach a really hard transition, like you can you know it can be really rough or you can really try to go with it, and that can apply to pregnancy labor post.
• 1:05:29
  Nora: Yeah, so I have been thinking about that a lot and it's some days are easier than others, you know to think about that, but it is nice to and then to just really like slow down and be like forgiving with yourself, even if you go back to work early, even if you have all these things that are objectively difficult.
• 1:05:53
  Nora: Like to try to take what you need and go slow, even within those constraints.
• 1:06:00
  Nora: Um, because this is just, it's such a short time and such a like yeah, fleeting time in your life, and so really like do what you need and if people have a problem with that, that is their problem and not yours and to really just like do what you need to do, go easy on yourself, because it's not going to last forever, like even the really hard things are pretty temporary, not going to last forever, like even the really hard things are pretty temporary and that you don't like.
• 1:06:35
  Nora: Well, I actually asked Rob before this.
• 1:06:37
  Nora: I was like, well, what would you say?
• 1:06:38
  Nora: And one of the things he said was don't let anyone else tell you how to do it, which I agree with.
• 1:06:44
  Nora: Like there are so many things that you'll hear from people that are well-intentioned, but you know, you just have to follow your gut and, along with that, I would say you get to like pick and choose and you can change your mind too.
• 1:07:00
  Nora: You know, I feel like there's just so much intense information in any direction about parenting and birth and all these things, and it can make you feel really bad and that's not gonna help, and so you really do just have to like trust your gut.
• 1:07:15
  Nora: And yeah, like I feel like I don't quite fit in completely with like like yes, I have home births, but then I can get a lot of like information.
• 1:07:28
  Nora: That's like you know you have to do this and you like have to co-sleep and you have to.
• 1:07:32
  Nora: And it's funny, it's like, well, we do a little of everything.
• 1:07:34
  Nora: Like she co-slept for a couple months and now she's in her crib because she's like sleeping through the night most of the time, and so it's like you get to.
• 1:07:43
  Nora: Yeah, you just have to pick what is best for you and your family, and that is probably going to look super different for everyone.
• 1:07:51
  Nora: You just like have to follow your intuition with that.
• 1:07:56
  Angela: Yeah, there's so much information out there and everybody's like, oh, you should do it this way.
• 1:08:01
  Nora: Yeah, it's like, well, you can take it all in, but you have to, you know, just go with, yeah, go with what you feel, and I do actually.
• 1:08:11
  Nora: I ended up recommending this book to a lot of people because it was recommended to us when our first was like a few months old, um, bringing up baby, and it's kind of like cheesy and dated and silly, but we really like kind of took a lot from that because I think it's a nice, you know, attitude of like sometimes the American way of parenting can be really anxiety inducing, I think, and it's about like an American woman who lives in France and sees the way that they do it and it's a lot more like kind of respectable, I think, of the baby and the parents and everything.
• 1:08:49
  Nora: It's just like, yeah, I don't know.
• 1:08:51
  Nora: So that book too, I would recommend.
• 1:08:55
  Angela: Wow, oh my gosh.
• 1:08:56
  Angela: Well, I'm going to have to look that up and I'll link that book in the show notes for anyone who might be interested.
• 1:09:01
  Angela: And yeah, thank you so much, nora, for taking the time to chat with me today and for sharing about your most recent birth.
• 1:09:10
  Nora: And thank you for being part of it.
• 1:09:12
  Nora: You were a really great presence to have there and I mean the pictures, yeah, are really, really special, and I didn't mention a lot of that, but we had a photographer with our second and so I knew that I really wanted to prioritize that again, and I'm so glad I did, because it's so cool to have images of a time that you are a little out of your mind for.
• 1:09:33
  Nora: So it's nice to look back and then it's fun to look back to that, just like these sweet memories.
• 1:09:39
  Nora: So thank you.
• 1:09:41
  Angela: And that's the end of another episode of the my Main Birth podcast.
• 1:09:46
  Angela: Thank you for joining me and listening.
• 1:09:49
  Angela: If you're looking to document your birth story or if you're interested in doula support for your upcoming birth, head over to my website, mymainbirthcom and check out my packages.
• 1:10:02
  Angela: I'm a certified professional birth photographer and an experienced doula, and I offer in-person services to families throughout the state of Maine, as well as virtual birth coaching worldwide.
• 1:10:15
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• 1:10:20
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• 1:10:29
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• 1:10:31
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• 1:10:41
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• 1:10:43
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• 1:10:46
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• 1:10:53
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