Latest / Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast / 416: How to Survive Survival: Rebuilding Identity and Finding Flow with 1/3 Emotional Projector Jessica Buchanan

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416: How to Survive Survival: Rebuilding Identity and Finding Flow with 1/3 Emotional Projector Jessica Buchanan · Unshakeable with Human Design - A Human Design For Business Podcast

0:02
Hello and welcome to Unshakeable With Human Design.
0:05
I'm your host, Nicole Laino, and I am here with a, a friend, someone that I've wanted
0:11
to have on the show for a long time.
0:13
She is a remarkable woman.
0:15
She's honestly, um, when you hear her story, you'll be blown away.
0:19
Everybody is.
0:20
Because it is this, you know, it, it, it is a real story, a survivor's
0:24
story, um, that has a happy ending.
0:27
Um, and, but I think the reason that I wanted to have her on is not just
0:31
because of that story, but because of, of this transformation that
0:35
I've watched her go through, and how every day seeing her step more and
0:40
more into this light that she holds.
0:44
For everything that she is.
0:45
It's so authentic.
0:47
It's so her, um, what she helps women do as far as writing
0:51
their stories and memorializing their story, kind of owning it.
0:55
Um, I, I can't think of anybody who's doing that better, that I'm
0:58
aware of, that I'm in contact with to actually being that example of, of.
1:06
Really holding that light of owning your story and owning who you are.
1:10
And she's someone I've talked about on this show before.
1:13
Uh, uh, because you, you're one of those famous cases, Jess, of, of
1:19
having thought you were a Manny, Jen.
1:22
Yeah.
1:22
And you discovered that you were a pr I unveiled.
1:26
Uh, I, I dropped a bomb on you, and I was like, you're actually a projector.
1:30
And it was such a funny thing, and I loved how you, you really embraced it.
1:35
Mm-hmm.
1:35
And not everybody does.
1:37
Mm-hmm.
1:37
You were just like, you know what, if I accepted this as true, what would happen?
1:41
What would that, what, what would that do?
1:44
Yeah.
1:44
Um, and it's not just the, you know, it's not just the human design thing.
1:47
It's what I saw you go through after you.
1:51
And I'm not, I'm not giving human design the credit for this.
1:54
Mm-hmm.
1:55
But since I met you, I have watched you just step into like the
2:01
bigness of what a projector can be.
2:04
And I think that that's something that's a misconception too, is that projectors
2:07
are like these, like, you know, they're meek or leaning back and it's like not at.
2:12
All.
2:12
Mm-hmm.
2:14
Yeah.
2:14
The big energy.
2:15
Yeah.
2:15
And um, and I've just seen you do that.
2:18
And now with this new book that you have coming out, how to Survive
2:21
Survival, A Guide to Turning Life's Hardest Moments Into Meaningful
2:25
Contribution for the World.
2:27
I saw that and I was like.
2:29
Now's the time to have you on the show.
2:30
I really want you to talk about this journey that you've been
2:32
on and, and to share your story.
2:35
And, you know, when you hear her story, you're gonna be like, oh wow.
2:38
Um, 'cause there's really nothing like it.
2:40
But I actually think it's so much more interesting after that, um,
2:44
what you've been through, so, and, and what you've grown into and
2:47
what you're helping people do.
2:48
Mm-hmm.
2:48
So, Jessica Buchanan.
2:51
Welcome to the show.
2:52
Thank you.
2:53
It's, it's so great to be here.
2:55
Um, yes.
2:56
I mean, human design has very much changed my approach to how I view
3:02
myself and how I, um, show up in my, my professional life and my personal life.
3:07
I was.
3:07
Joking before.
3:08
I take a lot more naps now and I feel okay about that.
3:12
Um, because projectors need to rest.
3:14
And that also makes me feel better when I kick my snoring husband out of bed
3:17
and say, look, projectors need their own space to sleep to restore their energy.
3:23
You know?
3:24
And so I use it maybe in some ways as a bit of an excuse.
3:28
But, um, at the same time, I think the thing learning about
3:32
being a projector for me that was, um, so significant was that, um.
3:39
Um, oftentimes we're guides.
3:40
Mm-hmm.
3:41
And so I'm a teacher by profession, um, and which is really where.
3:46
I guess that interesting part of my story, um, begins, you know, I have
3:52
many ways in which I label myself.
3:55
I'm a wife, I'm a mother, I'm a, I'm a a, an entrepreneur, a CEO, a teacher.
4:00
But, um, I'm also a kidnapping survivor.
4:03
And so, um, 2011 I was working for an NGO, an International NGO in Somalia.
4:11
My husband and I met in Nairobi, Kenya.
4:14
A few years before that when I was teaching in an international school.
4:18
Um, and he, uh, his organization had moved him up to Somalia and, uh,
4:23
Northern Somalia to be based, um, to do a developmental development
4:27
work, uh, humanitarian work.
4:29
And, you know, teachers always find work, they always land on their feet.
4:32
So I quit my teaching job and moved up there with him and.
4:36
Um, sure enough, started working for the un, started doing work for the
4:40
Ministry of Education in armed Violence Reduction, which is not something I
4:43
knew much about until I started learning and, um, and started traveling all
4:49
over East Africa teaching, uh, conflict management strategies, um, mind risk
4:55
education, firearm safety, uh, just.
4:58
Community safety in general in these very, uh, very interesting, um, cultures.
5:04
Not these nomadic societies.
5:06
A lot of them were low literacy or no literacy.
5:10
And so my job was to use my, um, my teaching skills to basically learn,
5:15
uh, teach, um, these people who are living on the fringes, right?
5:20
Uh, how to stay safe.
5:21
They're living in, um.
5:23
Areas that are still inundated with landmines or unexploded ordinances,
5:28
little kids would be getting hurt.
5:30
And so that was my job is to make, make those, uh, messages accessible
5:35
in terms of keeping them safe.
5:37
Um, so it felt like.
5:39
Very gratifying.
5:40
It felt very fulfilling.
5:42
It was hard.
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Um, and, and I was far away from home, but I really felt like I'm
5:47
a very purpose-driven person.
5:49
I'm, I'm guessing that that has something to do with being
5:51
a projector as well, and, um.
5:55
And it was great until it wasn't, uh, which in 2011, October, 2011, I was
6:02
sent by my organization down to the southern part of Somalia to go do a
6:06
staff training, uh, with my colleague.
6:08
And I was only supposed to be there for three days, made it to the third day.
6:13
Um, we were leaving the training and our vehicle was overtaken by armed gunman.
6:18
We were subsequently, um, driven out into the desert.
6:23
Where we were forced to participate in a mock execution, and then we
6:27
were held for 93 days, um, uh, for a $45 million ransom demand.
6:33
Um, and we were kept outside in deplorable conditions.
6:38
We were starved.
6:39
Uh, we were beaten.
6:40
Um, eh, we, you know, we lived outside the entire time.
6:45
Um, it was.
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Horrendous.
6:47
You know, sometimes I, I, you know, I talk about this a lot.
6:51
I tell this story a lot, and of course as time goes on,
6:54
you know, you start to forget.
6:55
And, uh, my husband and I were watching a show last night on Netflix
7:01
called Hostage, and he was like, are, are you sure you wanna watch this?
7:05
And I said, yeah, I think it's fine.
7:07
It's, I think I'm, it's fine.
7:09
And there was, I don't wanna be a spoiler, but.
7:13
There was a great moment where some of the hostages were, you know, rescued
7:17
essentially, and we were laying in bed and we both just grabbed each other's
7:20
hands and held onto each other because it was like, even after all this time, you
7:24
know, those just like watching some stupid show, like it still feels very much like,
7:30
oh, I know exactly, exactly the relief that those people are feeling right now.
7:35
And, um, and so, uh, 93 days by order of President Obama, um.
7:42
Seal Team six, uh, the us um, most elite military force.
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Um, parachuted into the desert in the middle of the night and successfully
7:52
rescued me and my colleague Paul.
7:54
And, um, then I like to say like, that's where the second part of my survival
7:59
story begins, because I had no idea and I don't think, I just don't know if
8:06
it's that we don't talk about it enough, or maybe we just don't have enough.
8:11
I don't know if we don't have enough research about it, but there
8:14
is really the space of surviving survival that happens for those of us.
8:19
And we've all experienced trauma, um, to some extent.
8:23
Um, but for many of us, um, uh, you know, if you've experienced
8:28
a death or, uh, the loss of.
8:31
A dream or a job or, um, what you fill in the blank.
8:35
Um, none of us escapes the human experience unscathed.
8:39
Um, it's that space where you feel like you should be over this by now and you're
8:45
not, because you're still surviving, but you're not surviving the trauma anymore.
8:49
You're surviving survival.
8:52
And, um, that has been, wow, that's been the longest journey of my life.
8:58
Uh, and, and that's what this, this book is about.
9:01
This next book is about, so, so talk to me a little bit about.
9:06
About that, about surviving survival.
9:09
So you're rescued by Seal Team six.
9:10
Everybody thinks that like, oh, great.
9:12
Now you just, I don't think anyone thinks you just go on with your life.
9:15
Sure.
9:15
But you know, there's a, a, a huge gap in time between that, um, what.
9:24
What inspired you to write this book?
9:27
'cause you wrote a book about your story of, of being a kidnapping
9:32
survivor and what that was like, and you know, the whole story of
9:34
everything that you just told us.
9:35
Yes.
9:36
You and you've been a, you've been a touring speaker on that book and
9:41
you know, I, I believe you've spoken at like the, the UN and you've,
9:45
you've had all of these opportunities that, that have come from that.
9:48
But why?
9:49
And you help.
9:51
Other, is it, is it exclusively women that you work with, uh, for writing
9:55
Right now we are, we are starting to branch out, but right now just women.
9:58
Yep.
9:59
Because you have your publishing company where you publish memoirs
10:03
and anthologies of, of women writing their story and owning their story.
10:07
Mm-hmm.
10:08
Um, does that feel like one chapter in itself of you having to own
10:12
that story like you wrote the book?
10:14
Did you feel like you owned it after that or was there so much more work
10:18
that you didn't even realize was needing to be lived or worked through after?
10:25
Yeah, I think impossible odds.
10:27
Um, I, while it's considered a memoir, I would consider it more so
10:31
just an account of what happened.
10:33
Mm-hmm.
10:33
Um, and so, um, I think in the like immediate aftermath, uh, you know, it
10:40
was a very high profile media event.
10:42
Of course you have Obama involved and you've got SEAL Team six.
10:46
They're the same, um, seals that, um, you know, killed Osama Bin Laden.
10:51
Mm-hmm.
10:51
So, very high profile.
10:53
Um, and so I don't think I knew which story to tell.
10:58
Mm-hmm.
10:58
I didn't know what was my story.
11:01
I, I was telling the story that I thought everybody wanted to hear.
11:06
And so I had to work through this like damsel in distress narrative
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because absolutely I was in distress.
11:13
But it took me a really long time to understand that there can be
11:16
more than one hero in a story.
11:19
And, and you know, the classic like narrative, uh, uh, uh, the Hero's
11:24
Journey only really teaches us to write one in, but what I think
11:29
I've been able to do is write.
11:30
And two and, and three, and four and five, because there are a lot of
11:34
heroes involved in my story, thank God.
11:37
Right.
11:37
Um, because teamwork makes the dream work.
11:41
And in my, my situation is the ultimate teamwork.
11:44
I wouldn't be here if it, if that weren't true.
11:46
Um.
11:47
I think for me and what I have found and really what this next, this next
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book is about, which this will be my fifth book because I've written,
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um, uh, many or been the lead author of several anthologies in between.
12:01
But, um, what I've really tried to unpack and articulate is that when
12:10
we experience something really hard.
12:14
Um, there's often a loss of identity, and then there is, along with that, the
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loss of purpose or a perceived loss.
12:24
And so when I came back from the desert.
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150000% happy to be alive, grateful to be reunited with my family and my husband.
12:35
I didn't know who I was anymore.
12:37
Mm-hmm.
12:37
I didn't know what I could do, what I was qualified to do.
12:41
Um, you know, my, my particular situation came with a loss of my job.
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I was no longer able to go and continue doing what I had.
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So I had, I had worked so hard.
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To get there.
12:54
Um, and then it was just, poof, it was gone.
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I lost my home.
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Um, we had to relocate back to the us, um, which I, you know, my husband is not from
13:03
this, the us and so that was difficult.
13:05
And then all of a sudden, I am, I'm having a baby, which everybody
13:08
was like, oh, how amazing.
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And I'm like, I'm not so sure about that.
13:13
So then you got that secondary loss of identity.
13:16
Mm-hmm.
13:16
And then this, you know, and so.
13:19
I really struggled.
13:20
I really wondered, I think understanding I was a projector
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if I had understood that earlier.
13:26
Might've been very helpful for me.
13:28
Mm-hmm.
13:28
Um, but I'm better late than ever.
13:30
Um, but I think that, um, yes, it's in that space of the now what?
13:38
That really, really gets people stuck.
13:42
And what I have attempted to do with this, this offering is I've, uh, I,
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I've, um, interviewed 20 people who have been through their own crises and
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I highlight how they have chosen to turn their, um, pain into contribution,
13:59
their horror into contribution.
14:00
And some of it's big, some of them have created nonprofits and then
14:04
some of them have made a career change and decided to become.
14:07
Massage therapists, you know, so I try really hard to cover the
14:11
whole spectrum, um, women and men.
14:14
Um, and I'm, I'm really proud of the people in the book, and I'm
14:20
proud of being in this space and learning what I've learned so
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that I can, so I can offer this.
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And I, I should say you're, you're a one three emotional projector and
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you're on the cross of rulership.
14:33
I think one of the things that's interesting about that is that it
14:36
inherently comes with like power struggles and, um, you know, there's leadership.
14:44
Innate in that, and I think you have led yourself through all of
14:49
these stages that you have been in.
14:51
Mm-hmm.
14:51
But I When you were explaining like that loss of identity, it is,
14:56
I, I think that that's something that people take for granted is the
14:58
fact that like, I can't go back to being Jessica before this happened.
15:02
Like, I don't even, I don't do, do you just like, not even
15:05
feel like the same person?
15:07
Yeah.
15:08
And I remember when I, I, I write about this, um, I remember exactly
15:13
when I came to that realization.
15:15
You know, I tried to go back to teaching, you know, and I was, I was teaching in
15:20
a, you know, a title one public school.
15:22
I had a really cool teaching job.
15:24
I was like teaching outdoor education, like you couldn't have gotten any better.
15:29
And I was sitting at a stoplight coming back from the grocery
15:32
store, and I, it just hit me.
15:35
I can't go back and do what I used to do because I am no longer, I have
15:39
been changed on a cellular level.
15:41
Mm-hmm.
15:42
So the person I was before, some of the things are the same.
15:46
Like, yes, I still like garlic bread and you know, um, yes, I love the ocean.
15:53
Those things haven't changed, but.
15:55
My, my, my stress, um, level and tolerance has changed because of PTSD.
16:01
Mm-hmm.
16:01
Um, the, the things that I used to believe were so black and
16:05
white are now very, very gray.
16:08
Um, and what I want.
16:10
Who knows, that's such a moving target all the time.
16:13
But, um, what I feel like I can give to the world has changed
16:18
because I'm a mother now.
16:19
Yes.
16:19
And because I'm a person who carries around complex PTSD,
16:23
um, and this experience.
16:25
And so,
16:28
uh, you know, there's so much grief.
16:32
Um, and then there's probably, it's, I think it's is the stages of grief, but
16:38
right, that new, that newly added stage, um, to the, the acceptance, the denial
16:43
and the acceptance, um, is, is meaning.
16:46
And so when you get to a place, what I, what I really hope people
16:50
understand is this, this, when you're, you're standing there and
16:55
you're on the rubble of your life.
16:58
There is, you can still make something beautiful from that.
17:02
You can still create something, meaningful.
17:05
Things take the time they need to take.
17:08
Mm-hmm.
17:08
And there is no hack, there's no shortcut.
17:10
Um, but I do believe, um, that you, you can turn your pain
17:17
into something purposeful.
17:18
Um, if you want to.
17:20
You don't have to, but it's an invitation.
17:23
It's a choice.
17:24
Yeah, for sure.
17:25
And I think that, that, like, that identity shift we we're all experiencing
17:29
identity shifts if you're growing mm-hmm.
17:31
Um, and you went through something traumatic that probably forced you to
17:38
grow into this next version of you.
17:41
You know, we think about the next version as always being like, you know,
17:44
oh, it's, it's better, it's higher.
17:46
It's like.
17:47
Most of us walk through some kind of fire to get to that next version of
17:53
ourselves, or we find ourselves sitting in this moment saying, I don't know why
17:57
I'm not connected to everything that I've always been connected to before.
18:00
There's not always like a, you know, large scale traumatic event like
18:05
you experienced, but I do think that that is a very human experience
18:09
to, if you're paying attention.
18:11
I think some of us are so busy and we compartmentalize and
18:16
we, we avoid and, and detach.
18:19
Yeah.
18:19
So, so we don't feel those things.
18:21
Like, I'll just stay busy.
18:21
I'll just keep going.
18:22
I'll just be, and then, you know, like your husband cheats on you or something
18:26
happens and you're like, oh wait.
18:29
Yeah.
18:29
And then, then you have the identity.
18:31
So it's sometimes it's the event that forces us to change.
18:34
Well, isn't it all, I mean, I, I was just talking to my sister about this, like, why
18:39
do, why does it, why is it always the big stuff that forces us to make these changes
18:44
that we probably should or wanted to make?
18:47
But we wait until it's like.
18:50
Really major and I, and, and maybe that's just me.
18:53
Like I, I don't move until I'm forced to move.
18:57
You'd think I'd like start learning that lesson a little bit more quickly,
19:01
but, um, I, I agree completely.
19:04
I think it's one of those things, you know, they say like, you know,
19:06
it starts as a whisper, but it's so easy to ignore a whisper for sure.
19:09
And then it becomes a knock.
19:11
Yeah.
19:11
And then it becomes banging and then eventually it kicks the door down.
19:15
You know, it's your choice when you answer the call.
19:17
Yeah.
19:17
Um, and.
19:19
You know, some of them will require more courage to make a choice that
19:23
maybe you don't think, why do we wait?
19:26
I think it's because sometimes we're so scared of making the wrong decision.
19:29
Yeah.
19:29
Or making the change.
19:30
What if we choose wrong?
19:32
Right.
19:32
And I think that's one of the things that people look to human design for.
19:36
And I think that's one of the things that I, I hope to correct in the
19:40
thinking, which is that human design doesn't guarantee that nothing will ever
19:43
be uncomfortable in your life again.
19:45
Yeah.
19:45
Um, it, in fact, it's, it's probably going to drive you into discomfort
19:50
because it's gonna take you away from what you always felt was safe mm-hmm.
19:54
Or your regular mode of operation, and it's gonna drive you to something else.
20:01
Now something else might be better.
20:02
It might not look better right away, or it might cause some things to fall apart.
20:07
Mm-hmm.
20:07
Because you changed course.
20:08
And I think that that's probably why we don't listen to the whispers.
20:12
Why we don't change sooner is because we're afraid of things falling apart.
20:16
Don't rock the boat.
20:18
Yeah.
20:18
You know the devil.
20:19
I know.
20:20
Yep.
20:20
Absolutely.
20:21
And I think too, like we're afraid to trust ourselves.
20:25
Mm-hmm.
20:26
Right.
20:26
Because we've been conditioned for generations.
20:29
To not to listen to the voice of reason or, you know, um, practicalities or,
20:36
you know, more pragmatic or logical.
20:40
And sometimes those whispers are not logical or pragmatic at all.
20:46
Exactly.
20:47
And so what is human design helped you with?
20:51
You know, outside of napping, which I'm very happy that you're doing
20:54
because there, it's not an excuse.
20:55
I'm gonna go take a nap, I'm gonna go take a nap after this prescribed naps.
21:00
Um, but, but what else has human design allowed you to do?
21:04
Has it allowed you to trust yourself?
21:06
'cause at least from the outside looking in, I know that you and I have kept in
21:09
touch, but we're, we're not like talking all the time or anything like that.
21:12
But from the outside looking in, it looks like you are trusting yourself.
21:16
More.
21:17
Um, but what, what, how do, how do you, how has it changed
21:21
you from your perspective, or what has it shifted for you?
21:25
Yeah.
21:25
Um, I think like from a really practical perspective, um,
21:30
professionally, um, I don't.
21:33
Feel like I have to force things anymore, you know, which
21:36
has, has been very liberating.
21:38
Um, and it's been, I've been practicing a lot, so I've, I've lost that,
21:43
or, you know, it'll resurface every once in a while, but I don't feel
21:45
like I have to make things happen.
21:47
Mm-hmm.
21:48
Um, and so there is this, I think, um, steadier trust within myself and,
21:56
you know, I'm a person who's like.
21:59
Rejection is protection and I, I really believe in the universe has got my back.
22:04
And so, um, when it comes to like clients for, in, for instance, or like,
22:09
um, prospective authors, you know, I'll have a call with someone, maybe they'll
22:16
be very interested in working with us.
22:19
Um.
22:20
And then for whatever reason, a lot of times it's just about resources.
22:24
They decide that, you know, or you don't hear from people.
22:28
And I don't know if you deal with this, but you know, you
22:30
get time ghosted or whatever.
22:31
Maybe I'll follow up once.
22:33
Um, and then I don't hear from people and I'm like, that's okay.
22:37
Like, you know, I don't need to like chase people down if it's not,
22:40
it's not my, it's not my issue.
22:43
Bless and release.
22:44
Um, and the same thing with clients who can be a little sticky.
22:48
You know, I can tell like from the very beginning before we even sign a
22:51
contract if it's gonna be a problem, and I'm like, I just feel much more, um.
22:57
Secure in saying, I don't think that this is a good fit, and I'm not worried
23:02
about the loss of income, or, you know, the whatever else could happen.
23:06
I just trust that.
23:07
Um, all I have to do is, is show up, put, put our offerings out there, put
23:14
our work out there, show up, be on podcast interviews, tell my story.
23:18
And then I really do feel, and I hope, I hope I haven't misinterpreted
23:22
this, but I really do feel like it's such an easier way for me.
23:26
To operate it.
23:28
It should be, yeah, it should be.
23:30
Particularly for proje, for projectors.
23:31
What I think, um, so pleasantly surprised me about you and the way that you
23:36
took to this, because you just really were like, you're like, I'm Manny Jen.
23:39
I'm like, no, you're not your projector.
23:41
And you were like, that blows my mind, but okay.
23:44
And, and you seemed to slip into, like you got rid of the podcast that you were on.
23:50
Yeah.
23:50
You cut a bunch of things.
23:51
Like you were like, this is, it seemed like you took it as
23:54
permission to cut the fluff.
23:56
What a hundred percent.
23:57
I was doing all kinds of things that I didn't wanna be doing.
23:59
'cause I felt like I had to be forcing things.
24:03
People ask me all the time, in fact, somebody I have to write
24:05
back on Instagram wrote me.
24:06
She was like, well how do I quit my corporate job and work three
24:09
to four hours a week without like, lose, like losing all of my income?
24:13
Mm-hmm.
24:13
And it isn't about.
24:15
The three to four hours, uh, sorry, not three to four hours per week.
24:18
Three to four hours a day.
24:19
Mm-hmm.
24:20
It isn't about, I was like, yeah, how do you do that?
24:23
How do I not work at all?
24:24
Yeah.
24:25
Um, no, but like the, the three to four hours a day, it's, it, it isn't
24:29
so much about like clocking that.
24:31
It's about looking at your life and saying what isn't necessary that I
24:35
have made feel like I have to do.
24:38
Mm-hmm.
24:38
But that's really because of somebody else's model.
24:40
Not because I really feel like this is.
24:43
What I'm supposed to be doing.
24:45
Yeah.
24:45
And you did that without really much prompting.
24:48
Mm-hmm.
24:49
You were like, yes, I got rid of the podcast.
24:51
I remember you sent me a voicemail.
24:52
You, you were like, I just wanted you to know, this is amazing.
24:55
So I just got rid of this.
24:56
I got rid of this.
24:57
I'm only doing this, I'm just doing the publishing.
24:59
Like I'm just.
25:00
Doing the books.
25:01
That's what I want to be.
25:02
And to me that was like, that's what you wanted to be recognized for.
25:05
Like this is who I am.
25:07
And that's the most important thing for a projector is like,
25:10
who do I want people to see me as?
25:12
Mm-hmm.
25:12
And then if I'm just that thing, that projection gets super strong.
25:18
Mm-hmm.
25:18
Mm-hmm.
25:19
And you know, you're like, I'm a survivor.
25:21
This is my story and I can help you tell your story.
25:25
And it's like, that gets to be like a super strong tractor beam.
25:28
Right.
25:29
When you're scattered and fragmented, that diminishes and
25:33
you work harder to get everything.
25:36
Yes.
25:36
Did you find that people, more of the right people were finding you when?
25:40
Oh, a hundred percent.
25:41
I mean, I think too, like after, after all of that.
25:46
I did just start showing up and telling my story, particularly on, um, social
25:51
media, Instagram, and everything just blew up like it was, you know, and my
25:57
ordeal happened really before Instagram.
26:00
But um, you know, and then it was so cool because all I had to do was just show up,
26:06
tell my story, or if I had a thought on my mind or an anecdote or whatever, and
26:11
then all these women started finding me.
26:14
You know, and one of, you know, one of our offerings is we do these, we work
26:18
with a cohort of women once a year, um, and, and we walk them through the memoir
26:22
writing process as a group and, and we pick a theme and everybody writes, and,
26:27
you know, so it's a really cool offering, but like, how do you reach 20 women at a
26:32
time for, you know, to fill these spots?
26:34
And, and it was just like all you said was like, you just have to keep
26:37
showing up as your authentic self.
26:40
Now the problem is if you don't know who your authentic self is.
26:43
And, and that, that's a lot of hard work.
26:46
That's a lot of digging deep.
26:47
Um, and I think I had done a lot of that work and I was primed and ready to just
26:53
show up because I finally knew who I was.
26:55
I knew what I wanted to say.
26:58
Um, and, and it, and it, like you said, like.
27:02
It's growth, it's, it's evolving and so it's always changing.
27:05
And so who I was, you know, two years ago, I'm different.
27:09
And now I, you know, I'm, I'm starting to dream about other things.
27:12
Mm-hmm.
27:13
And, and I'm, it's super exciting.
27:14
Instead of like, overwhelming and making me afraid and exhausted, I'm like,
27:19
oh, I can show up as that, you know.
27:23
Yeah.
27:24
And, and you know, from your lips to God's ears or to every listener's
27:28
ears that you know what you said about, you had done the work, you
27:32
knew who you were, you had you, you'd done, you had to, you were forced to.
27:38
We've, we've covered this.
27:39
You had to do that work.
27:41
So what that created for you was like, when human design comes in and
27:46
tells you, you just have to show up as who you are and be the lighthouse.
27:50
Yes.
27:51
Go step into the spotlight, own it, and claim your space.
27:55
Right?
27:55
You were like, oh, I can do that.
27:57
I know who I am.
27:58
I know what space I wanna claim.
28:00
I'm gonna get rid of everything else.
28:01
So, you know, I, I think that some people expect human design to be
28:05
this magic, like silver bullet.
28:06
And it can be when you've done a lot of other work for me, I had
28:11
done a lot of work, so human design kind of clicked things into place.
28:16
Yeah.
28:16
I didn't do it as, I hadn't done as much work as you did
28:19
at the time that I found it.
28:20
I was still sort of finding a lot of that, but it allowed me to find it.
28:24
But a lot of people won't go through that work, or they're disappointed
28:28
when it doesn't happen instantly.
28:30
Yeah, and really the, the differentiating, the, the, the big
28:35
differentiating factor right there is.
28:38
The work, right.
28:39
Have you done it already and you're coming in at, you know, one of the last chapters
28:43
of the book and we're just closing it out and shifting you into like the third act?
28:47
Mm-hmm.
28:48
Or are you coming in questioning a lot and you have some soul searching to do
28:53
before you can ground into these things and human design can help you do that, but
28:57
it still might take you some time to Yeah.
29:01
Find that alignment.
29:02
So like, I'm curious like how often, like.
29:06
How often do people come to you that are in that state that they
29:09
still need to do some of the work?
29:12
Oh, often.
29:13
Yeah.
29:13
Very often.
29:15
Yeah, because they're, they're, they're questioning a lot.
29:17
It depends on the stage that they, they are at.
29:19
But I get a lot of people who are, things haven't worked and things
29:23
have been really hard and they've struggled and they're looking for human
29:27
design to be kind of that framework that helps them get their footing.
29:30
And I tell them, I'm like, if you do the work, I promise you that it.
29:34
It, it can provide that for you.
29:36
Yeah.
29:36
But.
29:37
If you haven't done, if you're not willing to do the work, then
29:41
I don't wanna take your money.
29:43
Uh, right.
29:44
Because it's required.
29:45
This isn't gonna work because it's required.
29:46
It's sort of like, I wanna write a book.
29:48
And it's like, well, will you write?
29:49
Yes.
29:50
You know, it's, it's, it's a path that you walk.
29:52
Exactly.
29:53
You know?
29:54
Yeah.
29:54
Um, and so I tell everybody.
29:58
Um, where can they find out more about this new book that you have coming out?
30:03
It comes out in October, right?
30:05
Is it October 27th?
30:06
Is that the date?
30:06
Yep.
30:07
Absolutely.
30:07
So October 27th.
30:09
And then you also have ways, if someone listening is a, an
30:13
aspiring writer and they're looking to be published, you also help.
30:17
Women get published and published, absolutely.
30:19
Publish books.
30:20
So tell tell them about those, those two ways and, uh, of, of connecting with you.
30:24
Sure.
30:24
So, um, you can always find out more about my story and what
30:28
I'm up to@jessbuchananuh.com and then, uh, soul Speak Press.
30:34
Dot com is our, uh, website for, um, publishing company.
30:38
We're a non-traditional publishing company for women who've been through something.
30:41
Now they know something and they wanna teach us something.
30:44
Um, and so follow us, so Speak Press or Jessica Buchanan on Instagram.
30:49
We're always, we've always got something going on.
30:52
Now.
30:52
We've got a riding retreat next year in Italy.
30:55
Like, I mean, there's just constantly stuff that we're
30:57
putting out, so it's super fun.
30:59
Um, and I, I don't think I'd be here if it weren't for you.
31:03
So, thanks, Nicole.
31:05
Thank you.
31:06
I, I, I don't know if I deserve that much credit, but I, I really
31:09
do wanna give, I please receive it.
31:11
It really has made such a huge difference in my life.
31:14
That means more to me than, than, uh, than I could even say.
31:18
Mm-hmm.
31:19
Um, and once again, the, the name of her upcoming book is How to Survive
31:23
Survival, A Guide to Turning Life's Hardest Moments Into Meaningful
31:26
Contribution for the World.
31:28
We will link everything up in the show notes for you so that
31:31
you can get the details on that.
31:32
You can order this book, pre-order it please and um, and then stay
31:36
in touch with Jess on Instagram.
31:38
She has a wonderful feed over there where you can see.
31:41
Her brand really in action.
31:43
Jesse Buchanan, um, on Instagram.
31:46
Thank you so much for being here.
31:48
Absolutely.
31:48
Thank you for the invitation and allowing just to show up.
31:51
I appreciate you and remember, in order to have an unshakeable business, you
31:55
must first become an unshakeable human.
31:57
So thanks for letting us help you become unshakeable with human design.
32:01
We'll see you next time.