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199. Mastering Personal Power: 7 Laws Every Leader Needs to Know · Impact Ready

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Welcome to Impact Ready, a show dedicated to helping you elevate
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your impact in the world. I'm Steph Safra, your host.
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Let's explore the power of showing up with intention and
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energy each day. This is for those who seek to
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make life truly meaningful. Get ready for Impact.
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Hello. Welcome to the show.
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So happy that you're here. We are one episode away from 200
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episodes of the Impact Ready podcast.
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And I'm so excited. I'm pumped to have been at this
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for two years. I when I started this, I
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thought, yeah, this is something I want to do for a long time.
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But you, you don't actually know what that feels like or looks
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like until you are in the trenches twice a week doing
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this, preparing episodes, doing the research, reading, you know,
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learning about your topic and, and what goes into this whole
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thing until you're actually doing it.
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And I have to say, I'm just so grateful that I get to do this
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and that we get to have these types of conversations here on
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the podcast. And then out in the real world
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when I'm interacting with you all and you're sending me
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messages and we get to talk about this.
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When I run into you on the street or see one of you out in
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the world and you say, oh, I love this episode.
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It's so awesome. So thank you for listening for
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all this time and can't wait to celebrate on Thursday for the
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200th episode. In this episode today, I want to
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talk a little bit about power. You know, personal power is
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something that I speak with my clients a lot.
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It's a big part of being impact ready.
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It's a huge component of having impact in the world is to really
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be able to stand in your personal power.
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And I have a really good sense of what that means because I'm
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in this work every single day. But when I first start talking
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to somebody about this, I can understand that they don't
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necessarily have a grasp on what exactly it would look like or
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feel like to be standing in your power.
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So I've been thinking about this a lot.
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And recently I was having a discussion with a colleague,
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somebody from my executive coaching program, and they said,
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Oh, well, Steph, have you read The Seven Laws of Power by
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Jeffrey Pfeffer? And I actually have read that
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book. And I said to him, I don't
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necessarily know if that book encapsulates what I'm talking
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about in terms of impact and power.
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And so we got into a big discussion about it and I
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realized that it was similar and that the seven Laws of Power,
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according to Pfeffer, they still apply.
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I just apply kind of a different lens to it.
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And I want to talk about what that means today.
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So you get a really good sense of what it looks like to be
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standing in your personal power. So this book, The Seven Laws of
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Power, is very popular in the business world.
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And I read it a while ago because I was interested in what
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people were saying about this. I expected that I would have
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some different ideas. And I was surprised that there
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is so much overlap in the way that traditional business and
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organizations would think about power and the way that I would
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think about power in the coaching space.
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This book can actually feel a little uncomfortable at times
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because it's very straightforward.
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It kind of pulls back the curtain and it gives you this
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idea that you can be talented, you can be hard working, you can
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be very well-intentioned, but you can still get passed over in
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the business world if you don't understand power and what it
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means to be in power. Basically, it says that if you
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care about making an impact or leading others, if you care
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about shaping outcomes, you have to be willing to be seen, take
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up space, build strategic relationships, and play the
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game. Basically, you have to play the
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game of business, play the game, whatever it might be, and very
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consciously, and I don't necessarily disagree with that,
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I think that many of those things are true.
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But I would also say that power is a tool, and when you are
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talking about a person with integrity, it's an amazing tool.
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If you are thinking about it in the hands of somebody with a
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lack of integrity, then it can be a little dangerous.
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And so many times, as this book describes, and what we see in
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the world is that people avoid standing in their power for
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multiple reasons. They don't like to be seen, they
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don't like to take up space, they struggle to build
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relationships, and they really don't like playing the game.
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They would rather retreat and be quiet and sort of not be
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engaged. And the thing about that is when
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good people avoid standing in their power, less thoughtful
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people might end up holding it. This is especially true in
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businesses and organizations of all size.
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And that was a take away for me. After reading that book, I I
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started to understand, wow, when there are good people, really
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integris people who avoid standing in their power, taking
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up space, really being seen, then what happens is less
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thoughtful people will end up holding that power.
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And I see it all the time in the real world.
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So I want to elaborate on this a little bit and compare what this
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book is saying, and then also how I want to add to it so that
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we can get a really good picture of what standing in your power
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might look like. What Pfeffer is talking about is
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sort of the external game of power.
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So what it looks like on the outside, specifically related to
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how you're interacting with people in a business world.
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What I like to teach is what it looks like to be internally
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powerful, someone who is capable of getting involved in the game,
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but also living a really joyful life and having very quality
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relationships. So let's map out directly what
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this would look like in terms of how this author talks about the
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seven laws of power. The first law of power,
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according to the book, is getting out of your own way.
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You have to get out of your own way.
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You have to stop telling stories about why you can't play the
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game. Whether it's I don't want to be
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political or I just want my work to speak for itself, whatever
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that means, what that person might really be saying is I
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don't want to get involved or I'm avoiding the responsibility
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for my impact. And what that relates to in the
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internal game of power is radical ownership.
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Getting out of your own way equals ownership in my world.
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Taking radical ownership of your thoughts, of your energy and
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your behavior. You know, we make excuses for
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ourself all the time for why we're not being involved, why
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we're not being seen, why we're not speaking up, why we don't
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raise our hand. We often say, oh, I don't want
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to be political or I don't want to get involved in the drama.
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But what we're really doing is avoiding the responsibility and
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avoiding taking ownership of a situation.
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Ownership means you don't get to sit on the sidelines and still
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expect to have influence. You have to get in the game.
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You have to get involved and take total personal
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responsibility. The second law in the book is to
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break the rules, and in the book it says break the rules
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intentionally and strategically. And I would agree with this.
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I think you do have to break the rules sometimes.
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However, I can recognize that this can go sideways without a
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compass, and that's where integrity comes in and what I
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would call purpose. If you can layer purpose into
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whatever you're doing, it will anchor that power that you have
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because you're not breaking the rules to win necessarily.
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You're just making bold, sometimes unconventional moves
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in service of something meaningful to you, and that
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keeps the power from turning into ego, which we've talked
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about before. There's a difference between ego
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and confidence and personal power, and it's the intention
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behind it. So yes, break the rules, but do
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it within purpose. Do it with integrity and not out
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of malice or unlawfulness. The third law of power is to
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show up powerfully, and this is almost a direct overlap for me
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in terms of what we talked about in the coaching world and how it
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translates is prepare for your energy.
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Really bring big energy to everything that you do.
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Presence is your energy. That's exactly what we're
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talking about. It's how you walk into a room.
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It's the tone of your voice. It's your emotional steadiness.
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That's what people respond to before they ever evaluate your
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competence. Showing up powerfully is
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absolutely a law of having influence and impact.
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Your frequency is always broadcasting.
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You are always sending a message out into the world, and you have
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to be very conscious of what that message is.
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You are the only person who can be responsible for that.
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You can cultivate it. You can take care of your
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energy. You can be very intentional
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about what that message that you're broadcasting out into the
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world is. And if you're not, you lose
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power, you lose influence, you lose impact.
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People don't follow titles, they follow energy.
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They trust. And that law Trump's so many
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other things. So I would actually agree with
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this almost exactly. The fourth law is to create a
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brand. We always love talking about
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personal brand, right? It's so funny because I have a
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friend who said to me one time, what is all this BS about
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personal brand? Isn't it just your freaking
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character? And it's so funny because that's
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exactly what it is. Your personal brand is your
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character. Pfeffer and the book, he frames
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this whole thing as reputation management, meaning if you
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aren't telling a story about who you are, someone else will.
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However, I would say that a brand isn't really something
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that you say. It's not a story you tell, it's
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what people experience from you over and over again.
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Are you consistent? Are you reliable?
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Do you follow through? Are you in integrity?
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Consistency is what locks in your identity.
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It means I have the same standards and the same energy
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and the same follow through day after day after day.
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We all know people who don't, and what happens is it breaks
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trust, it breaks down the relationship, and we can't count
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on those people. And so creating a personal
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brand, yeah, that might be 1 frame for it.
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But what I would say is being consistent is what it's all
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about. Being consistent in your
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character, That's how impact compounds and that's how your
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personal power grows. The fifth law is to build a
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network, and what I would say is be in connection, be in
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connection with people, build up your scaffolding, really build
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quality relationships. This isn't just about going and
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meeting people, it's about being in relationship with people who
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really aligned with you. Their energy feels good, their
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ownership is solid, their actions are consistent, their
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purpose is clear. That's when things really start
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to become quality in terms of your connection and your
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relationships. And so yes, there's overlap in
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this law here, but my focus I think would be more on quality
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connections with people and not just building up your Rolodex,
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so to speak. And I think when you do have
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that quality, you actually produce better networks with
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people than just the traditional rule of thumb, which is to meet
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as many people as you can and try to make them high-powered.
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That's not what we're looking for.
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We're looking for people who have your back and who cheer you
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on and lift you up through good times and hard times.
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That's where the magic is and that's when it becomes really
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magnetic and not just transactional, which so many
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people are sick of that type of relationship.
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Law 6 is to use your power and in the book he talks about
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people who need to get out there and actually speak up and
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exercise their influence, etcetera, etcetera.
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And I would agree with that. I would say that this is about
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ownership and consistency. So we combine those two things
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because the reality is so many people get the opportunity to do
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something great, to be in action and they hesitate, they don't
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take it. They soften their voice, they
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delay decisions, they avoid hard conversations.
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People do that all the time. They say, oh, I don't want to
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talk to, I don't want to hurt that person's feelings.
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I don't want to have the hard conversation.
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I don't like conflict. I know nobody does, but we have
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to suck it up and be personally responsible for the
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circumstances in our sphere. We have to be consistent in our
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character. And I would say if you don't own
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your authority and you don't consistently act on it, you are
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simply leaking impact. And you are leaking.
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You are draining your personal power when you are not using it
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and really standing in your authority and in your personal
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power because power unused is just impact lost and we see that
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all the time. So I would actually agree with
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this sixth law of using power. Just a little slight spin on it.
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And then finally, the seventh law is that power is a skill.
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It's a skill that can be learned.
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It's a muscle that can be flexed and you can get stronger within
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it. Guess what?
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Totally agree, completely agree. This is about exercising all of
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these muscles, building all of these tools into your
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day-to-day. Remember, we talked about
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tolerance to extremity, that idea of building up resilience
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to things that are hard. We've talked about putting in
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the reps so that you can build competence in something, and
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then that competence leads to more confidence in whatever you
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are doing. It's that positive upward cycle
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that we reference here on the podcast all the time.
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But power is absolutely a skill, just like influence and impact
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is a skill. Just like preparation and
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consistency are skills, like communication is a skill.
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All of these things are not just something you're born with, they
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are something that are learned and strengthened through
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repetition. And if I were to end with
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something, it would be my challenge to you to put the reps
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in and practice all of these things.
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Practice your radical ownership by saying, Yep, whatever's in my
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sphere, I'm going to take personal responsibility for it.
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Practice being in your purpose, meaning really get clear on what
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matters to you and act out of that.
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Practice having powerful energy, having consistency, and really
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creating that as part of your scaffolding, saying I am this
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person who does what I say I'm going to do.
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Practice building a network and getting out there and building
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quality connections with people, Such a skill.
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And then of course, practice using your personal power and
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your impact and your authority to help the world to be of
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service. You have gifts within you that
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we need, honestly, like we need the artist in you, we need the
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author in you, We need the teacher in you.
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We need the coach in you. We need the creative in you.
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Whatever you bring to the table, we need that.
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Your imagination, your brilliant mind, whatever it is.
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And so many times people are sitting on the sidelines because
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they're afraid of getting involved because other people
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might have perceivably more power than them.
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Trust me, we need the ones with the character and the integrity
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to step into the arena, and that is you.
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For people who don't really know what it means to stand in power
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or who aren't used to doing it, or who don't really know where
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to start, I want to tell you this really silly example that I
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use with clients that we always laugh about in a session when
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we're talking about it, but it actually works.
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So I want to share with you. Anytime somebody asks you what
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you want for dinner or where you want to go, pause, think about
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it and give your direct, honest answer of what you really want.
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Most people never do this. They say, oh, I don't know,
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where do you want to go? Oh, well, maybe we could go here
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or well, how are you feeling? What, what do you feel like
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eating for dinner? They rarely pause, think about
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it and give their honest response.
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And we start with this because practicing standing in power can
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be done in very low stakes moments.
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And thinking about what you want for dinner is very low stakes
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moment. Even if you don't get it right.
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And you're like, actually, that sucks.
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I wish we hadn't gone there. It doesn't matter.
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So you can practice being, in your opinion, being very clear
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and direct about what you want. And that is a start to standing
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in power. I know it sounds really simple
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and kind of silly, but I got to tell you it works for people.
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They're like, Oh my God. I did not realize how often I
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outsource my own opinions and my own thoughts about what I might
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want in my life, including dinner.
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I do it every time with dinner and they say, OK, as soon as I
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start thinking about that, now I'm applying it to other things
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in my life and I'm catching myself in the moment every time
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I have the tendency or the temptation to outsource my own
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power. I think if I were to summarize
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this conversation in this comparison between what power is
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written, as in this Seven Laws of Power versus how I'd think
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about it in coaching, I would say that Seven Laws of Power
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teaches people how to gain power, especially when it comes
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to business and organizations. And that's wonderful.
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But what I'm really interested is teaching people how to hold
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power without losing themselves, to really stand in power in an
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integris way where it will serve people and create a positive
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impact in the world. That's what I'm very interested
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in. And there can be a gap there
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because power without awareness or emotional regulation or
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intentional energy, it can turn into ego or inconsistency and
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eventually distrust. So my challenge to you this week
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is to think about where you are and how you might step into your
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power in an even stronger way. Because honestly, one person
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creates change in their community and it spreads from
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there. And that's what starts to create
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change in the world. So I hope this conversation
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sheds a little more light on what personal power is and how
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to walk in it. Thank you for being here and for
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listening. And as always, thank you for
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being ready to Impact. Thanks for listening to Impact
18:43
Ready. I hope today's episode inspired
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you to own your impact and recognize that you are powerful.
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By elevating our energy and awareness, we can create
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exponential change in this life. If you enjoyed today's insights,
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share them with a friend and subscribe to the show for more.
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I truly appreciate you. Thanks again for being here.