Latest / Natty Unfiltered / E32 What Success Stories Leave Out: The Messy Middle, Money, and Hidden Support

Transcript

E32 What Success Stories Leave Out: The Messy Middle, Money, and Hidden Support · Natty Unfiltered

0:04
Before you compare a beginning to someone else's success,
0:08
ask yourself one question. What part of the
0:12
story am I not seeing? Social media shows
0:16
us what is possible. We see someone build a successful
0:20
business, grow a huge audience, leave a job they hated,
0:24
create financial freedom, or completely change the direction
0:28
of their life. And sometimes seeing that is exactly
0:32
the push we need. We think, if she did it,
0:36
maybe I can do it too. But social media is
0:40
very good at showing us the breakthrough, and not always as
0:43
good at showing us what made that breakthrough possible.
0:48
We see the business, but not the partner whose
0:53
income covered the bills while it was being billed. We see the
0:57
brand, but not the introductions, connections, childcare,
1:00
savings, family help, failed launches,
1:04
unpaid work, and years of repetition behind it.
1:08
We hear, I started with nothing,
1:12
but sometimes nothing still included a safe home, a reliable
1:16
income in the household, people to call, and the freedom
1:21
to take risk without losing everything.
1:24
That doesn't mean the success isn't real.
1:27
It means the story may not be complete.
1:31
And if we compare our entire reality to somebody else's edited
1:36
version, we may decide we're failing when
1:40
we're actually climbing with a very different amount of weight on
1:44
our backs. Today I want to talk about what success stories
1:49
often leave out. The messy middle,
1:52
the hidden support, the money behind, the risk,
1:56
and the truth that hard work matters.
2:00
But hard work isn't always the only thing in the room.
2:04
Welcome to Neti Unfiltered, the podcast for moms who love their kids
2:08
but know they were meant for more. I'm Nettie, a mom of
2:12
three, real estate agent and online entrepreneur,
2:16
and this is where we talk confidence, mindset,
2:19
money, motherhood, and building a life that actually feels
2:24
like yours. Today's episode is about the
2:28
hidden truth behind success.
2:31
I want to start by saying that I love seeing people succeed.
2:36
I love hearing that someone took a chance, believed in herself,
2:41
started something from the ground up, and created the life
2:44
she once only imagined.
2:48
Those stories matter because they expand our idea
2:52
of what is possible.
2:55
Sometimes we need to see other women build business,
2:59
change careers, become financially independent,
3:03
or put herself out there before we can picture
3:07
ourselves doing it. That inspiration is
3:11
real, but something else can also be true.
3:16
The version of success we see online is often incomplete.
3:21
We get the before picture and the after picture.
3:25
We hear where someone came from, and then we
3:29
see where she is now. What gets compressed
3:33
is everything in between. The years when the business wasn't
3:38
profitable, the person who paid the mortgage, the family
3:43
member who watched the children, the friend who made
3:47
the introduction, the money available for advertising,
3:51
coaching equipment, travel, and networking,
3:55
the emotional support that allowed somebody to keep going.
4:00
The failed ideas that quietly disappeared before
4:04
the successful one was born.
4:07
This episode, it's not about taking success away from
4:12
anyone. It's about adding context.
4:16
Because when we tell the truth, the fuller truth,
4:20
success doesn't become less inspiring, it becomes
4:24
more honest. And honesty helps the woman
4:28
listening understand that struggling in the middle doesn't
4:32
mean she's doing it wrong. It may simply
4:36
mean she isn't part of the story. People usually edit
4:41
out. And I actually being
4:47
on social media and seeing
4:53
firsthand, not just through the lens and through the phone,
4:57
but actually seeing it in person and hearing it and just
5:01
knowing things, it's like I've always like, wondered why.
5:06
If we're talking about the success, let's talk about the
5:11
full story. Let's not just talk about the beginning and then
5:15
the end. Because then it
5:18
kind of leaves out the important things, the important things of what
5:23
actually helped you to get there.
5:26
Because a lot of times is not everybody has the
5:29
same access, not everybody has the same means.
5:33
And yes, it might take somebody still quite
5:37
some time to get to their success, but some
5:42
people don't end up getting to that success or it takes them
5:46
longer just because they didn't have the same
5:49
means, the same circle as someone
5:54
else. It doesn't mean that you cannot still get there,
5:57
which you can. And sometimes you have to put those blinders
6:02
on. But I think living
6:06
certain things out is just does not paint
6:09
the full picture.
6:13
Now, social media can show us possibility.
6:16
There's something powerful about social media that I
6:22
don't want to dismiss. Before social media, many of us only
6:26
saw the lives and careers of people in our immediate environment.
6:31
Now we can see a mother building a business from
6:35
her kitchen table. We can see a woman changing careers later
6:39
in life. We can watch someone learn how to create content,
6:43
grow a community, sell a product, or turn
6:47
a skill into an income. That access can
6:51
change what we believe about ourselves. You may see a
6:55
woman with a similar background, age, family, situation,
6:59
or fear and think she did something I
7:02
didn't know was possible for someone like me.
7:06
And that matters. It gives you hope.
7:10
It opens up your horizons.
7:12
You see someone that, hey,
7:16
if she can do it, why can't I?
7:20
Representation isn't only about seeing someone who looks like you.
7:24
It's about seeing someone whose life feels familiar
7:29
enough that their courage becomes believable.
7:32
Social media can make opportunity feel closer.
7:36
It can teach us skills, introduce us to ideas,
7:40
connect us with communities and show us paths within
7:44
no existed. And it actually
7:48
can create friendships. You can
7:52
now be friends with somebody who
7:55
actually even lives in a different state just because
7:59
you like them. You like what they're,
8:03
how they show up online, you connect with them and
8:07
that's a beautiful thing. But possibility in comparison
8:11
often live very close to one another.
8:16
The same story that inspires you on Monday can make
8:20
you feel behind on Tuesday. You see someone
8:23
announces a six figure year, a sold out
8:28
launch, a new home, a book deal, new podcast
8:33
or huge following and suddenly your own progress
8:37
feels too small. You don't know how long
8:41
she was building before you found her. You don't know what resources
8:46
she had, what help she received, or how many attempts
8:51
failed. You're looking at the visible result and
8:56
comparing it to your invisible work.
8:59
That's not a fair comparison.
9:03
But it's also kind of hard to get over that because you
9:07
see that success and then you make yourself
9:11
feel small. You feel like, well, how am I less
9:15
of? Why is my messaging not coming across?
9:19
Why can't I reach that goal?
9:22
And so it's now becomes from is
9:26
being inspired to basically crushing
9:30
yourself from inside because you doing that comparison.
9:34
And you can help but feel like very
9:39
small. And you feel like you cannot possibly achieve
9:43
what this person or that person or this person has achieved.
9:48
Success stories are edited backward.
9:52
Most success stories are told backwards. Once people
9:56
know which idea succeeded, the journey is
10:00
rewritten as though every earlier decision was
10:04
leading directly to that result. The story
10:08
becomes clean. I believed
10:12
in myself, I took a risk, I stayed consistent.
10:16
Then everything changed. But while you're living it,
10:20
the journey doesn't feel clean. You don't know which
10:24
idea will work. You don't know whether the opportunity you're excited about
10:28
will lead anywhere. You don't know whether you're
10:32
building something important or just simply wasting your time and
10:36
making money. You make decisions without having the
10:40
ending available to prove you were right.
10:45
That is the real middle. It's confusing,
10:49
repetitive, and often very quiet.
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There are days when you feel inspired and days when
10:57
you question everything you know. You may take a
11:01
course that doesn't change your life. You may try a business idea
11:06
that never becomes profitable. You may post for
11:09
months without meaningful growth. You may build
11:13
something, realize it it's not right,
11:17
and start over. And later those
11:22
experiences may become part of a beautiful story
11:26
about resilience. While you're in them,
11:30
they simply feel like constant disappointment.
11:35
We need to remember that when we listen to polished
11:39
success story, the person telling it has the advantage of
11:43
knowing how it ended. You don't have that advantage
11:47
in your own life, yet you're making choices from the middle
11:51
and the middle rarely looks impressive.
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And I know it firsthand that you
11:59
know, when you start something, you have that belief, you have that drive,
12:02
you know what you are wanting out
12:06
of starting, you know, personal brands, starting a business because you want
12:11
to succeed, you want to build a community, you want to
12:14
touch others, you want maybe help others
12:18
because you've helped yourself and now you feel like,
12:22
hey, I want to help others to be
12:26
a better person to,
12:30
to let them know that they don't have to play small, that they can succeed,
12:35
that whatever they're good at, they can share it with others.
12:40
And then you go one route and then it doesn't work and then
12:44
you try something else. Maybe you start a social media
12:48
account and you don't see much growth and you try, you try and then you're
12:51
like, okay, maybe I need to start a new account and start with
12:56
a different storytelling and maybe that will work. And then you
13:01
start a different account and maybe that's not working. So you kind of have to
13:04
pivot. That's where your middle mess comes
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into play. And you trying to different things and you're not giving
13:13
up because you know you made for it. You can feel the
13:17
success, you believe in it. You just maybe have
13:21
not found the right way to come across to
13:25
people because people, first thing when they discover
13:29
you, they need to see you, they need to believe
13:34
in you, trust you before they actually going
13:38
to buy something from you, before they
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going to say, hey, you know what, I can relate. And I
13:46
anything that she says, I'm going to go along with it.
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I'm going to be loyal, kind of a follower.
13:55
I'm going to be part of that community that this person is trying to build.
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Why storytelling connect us? And before
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I didn't really know this whole idea about the storytelling when
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you, let's say get on social media because nowadays
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this is kind of how you start any type of business.
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Everything is on social media and there are so many possibilities
14:22
on social media, but when you start on it, sometimes it's
14:26
very confusing. How do I get my messaging cross? What do I start?
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Where do I start? What do I start with? What do I talk about?
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There's all these ideas coming and running through your head and
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you have no idea. Okay, do I just ramble on?
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Do I just say little bit about my background,
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my, my story? I mean, how do I do go
14:50
about it? And yes, there's, there's plenty of courses that will
14:54
teach you how to build A personal brand,
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how you should be on social media, how you should be creating B
15:02
rolls and reels and static posts and what you should say and
15:07
how you should say it and how often you should be posting. Where should you
15:11
be posting? There's so many things, but when you a newbie,
15:15
they're very helpful. I've invested in multiple courses,
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they taught me a lot and I don't regret investing
15:24
in them because I invested myself. I'm much more ahead
15:28
and I'm much more knowledgeable than I was years ago.
15:31
And that's all thankful because I got
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to know people who gone through their
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own, you know, courses, their own transformations and their own learning
15:45
curves. And I was able to invest
15:50
into myself into a course and know, okay,
15:54
how I go about it. And I also invested in one on one
15:58
coaching. This is all kind of helps you to propel yourself
16:02
forward and learn about yourself in your
16:06
messaging. And lately it's like I had
16:10
to learn about the storytelling and I continued to learn how
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do I get my messaging across to be clear?
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And sometimes you kind of have to repeat yourself quite
16:22
often because whenever somebody logs into social media, they might
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just see you for the first time and
16:31
if they like what they here, then they'll go to your account and maybe
16:36
just binge on your other
16:40
content that you put out. Storytelling is one of the most powerful
16:44
ways people connect. We don't only want to hear what
16:48
someone achieves. We want to understand who she was
16:52
before it happened, what she struggled with, what almost
16:56
stopped her, and what helped her continue.
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When someone says, I was afraid to be seen, another woman thinks,
17:04
oh, that's me. When someone
17:08
says I was afraid of failure and I would start something
17:12
and I would just not finish or I just would not start and
17:17
someone else can think, oh, but that's me.
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When someone talks about growing up without much money,
17:23
losing someone young, surviving abuse,
17:27
beginning again after divorce, immigrating to a new country,
17:30
or feeling completely lost, listeners can recognize
17:35
part of themselves in that story. We naturally root
17:39
for the underdog because struggle creates emotional connection.
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We see someone who had every reason to stop and
17:49
we want to watch her win. That kind of storytelling
17:53
can give people hope. It says, your beginning doesn't
17:57
have to determine your ending. But storytelling
18:02
can also become too neat.
18:05
Pain becomes the opening scene, success becomes
18:10
the ending. The complicated years in between are
18:15
reduced to a few sentences about working hard and
18:19
never giving up. We may hear about the difficult childhood,
18:24
but not the financial, stable partner later in life who
18:28
made the risk possible. We may hear about starting with
18:32
no audience, but not the existing network that helped
18:37
the first offer reach the right people. We may
18:41
hear about being self made, but not the team behind
18:46
the scenes. This doesn't erase anyone's pain
18:50
or effort. It simply reminds us that people can have
18:54
both hardship and advantage in the
18:58
same story. A person can overcome a
19:02
painful childhood and later benefit from financial support.
19:06
A woman can work incredibly hard and also have
19:10
childcare. A founder can be talented
19:14
and also have connections. Two things
19:18
can be true. Honest storytelling has
19:22
room for both. And the
19:26
messy middle. Nobody posts, I hardly
19:30
ever would see posts where
19:34
people talk about their messy
19:39
middle. They talk about the beginning and then the
19:44
end. I remember I was listening to a podcast with Mel
19:48
Robbins and Rob Dial, which was
19:52
so inspirational to me. And I,
19:56
the first time I listened, then I actually was listening to again because
20:00
I just want to refresh my mind. I remember when Mel Robbins was talking about
20:04
her being, you know, she's an attorney and her husband,
20:08
they've had restaurant
20:12
business and they were doing well. And then she was
20:16
talking about how, you know, they decided to
20:20
open up a second business restaurant, and how it failed,
20:25
you know, drastically and how much they were in debt and how
20:30
she went into, in like the spiral and just
20:34
everything she was not being the mother she wanted to
20:38
be and all of that and just. And also what
20:42
made her crawl out of
20:45
that bottom kind of what
20:49
steps she did and what got to her to where she is
20:53
now. And Rob Dial also was talking about his
20:58
life and what he was doing and basically his
21:02
middle mess and how he got
21:06
to where he is now. And both of them,
21:10
when they, when they kind of wanted to help others and,
21:16
you know, first help themselves and then help others,
21:20
they also didn't believe that they thought like, okay, who's gonna listen
21:24
to me? They're not psychologists, they're not
21:28
doctors. They're giving advice on the mindset and
21:32
how to change your life. And to me, that's what I was
21:36
kind of talking about is that you don't necessarily need to be
21:41
a doctor professional. You can, for example, you have a
21:44
podcast, you can then bring people who are professionals,
21:48
who can speak from the professional
21:52
side of things, of how to be you know, handling maybe
21:56
your nervous system or whatever it is, or, you know,
22:00
how to go about the business, how to be saving money or investing money
22:05
or whatever it is. But the thing is, is that both of them
22:09
went through their life experiences, their own transformations.
22:13
So why can't they talk about the
22:17
mindset? Why can't they talk about where they were
22:21
and how they got to where they at now, they live through
22:25
it. They've, they've gone through their own experiences. And what better
22:30
way to live life, go through hardships,
22:34
come out on the other end and then inspire
22:38
others to do the same. Because it takes a whole
22:41
lot to recognize where you
22:45
are, what steps you're going to take to change it and
22:49
actually walk the walk and start changing your
22:54
life and then be on the other side and see the success and then,
22:57
then share it with other people and other
23:02
people can see themselves and see the how their life starting to
23:05
change. That's huge. So you
23:09
know, for me it's like, yes, of course I would listen to somebody who've
23:14
gone through it, who've changed their lives.
23:20
It's not. And then I would listen to other guests that they bring
23:23
on because they're also learning through those guests that they bring on.
23:28
So life, we cannot just discount life
23:32
experiences. And I always say
23:36
you can be book smart and you can be street smart, but it's
23:40
great when you have both. Because in real world,
23:44
being just book smart is not enough.
23:50
The messy middle nobody posts
23:54
about. The messy middle is rarely one
23:59
dramatic moment. It's usually made of ordinary things that
24:03
aren't exciting enough for a highlight reel.
24:07
It's creating content after a long day, even though only a
24:11
few people may see it. It's sending another proposal
24:15
after several were ignored. It's studying while the rest
24:19
of the house is asleep. It's learning
24:23
technology you don't understand, making mistakes,
24:27
deleting things, starting again and wondering
24:31
why. The simple tutorial has 17
24:35
steps. It's showing up when
24:39
your confidence is low or non existent.
24:43
It's trying to build while also parenting,
24:47
working, paying bills, managing home,
24:51
and dealing with real life stress that doesn't pause
24:55
because you have a dream. It's investing
24:59
money and wondering whether you'll earn it back.
25:03
It's watching someone else move faster and having to remind
25:08
yourself that you don't know the full story.
25:12
It's the tension between believing in your vision and needing
25:16
practical results. That's an especially important
25:20
truth when you're building something because you need financial independence,
25:25
not simply because you want a creative project.
25:28
And when you really want that financial independence, you want
25:33
things to happen really quick. And they don't. And that's
25:37
why I'm always a proponent, is that you just need
25:41
to start. Don't wait until the
25:45
walls are crumbling down. Just start without
25:49
you knowing everything. Just start without you having enough
25:53
time to be perfectionist on
25:57
your craft, on building the personal brand. Just start
26:02
with baby steps and then you just gonna
26:06
get more confident by being showing up on the
26:10
regular basis basis and working in your
26:14
craft worth working on your dream when income matters
26:18
now the middle. The middle feels different.
26:22
There's more pressure attached to every decision that you make.
26:27
A slow month isn't only disappointing, it may
26:31
affect what you can pay for, what choices you have,
26:34
and how secure you feel. That's why telling
26:38
someone to just believe can feel incomplete.
26:43
Belief matters, mindset matters,
26:46
action matters. So do rent,
26:52
groceries, health care,
26:54
childcare, debt, and time.
26:58
They all matter. We can encourage
27:02
women to dream without pretending their practical responsibilities
27:07
don't exist. Let's talk
27:11
about the invisible infrastructure behind the success. One of
27:15
the biggest parts of success that we don't discuss enough is
27:19
infrastructure. Infrastructure is everything holding up
27:23
the visible result in the business.
27:27
That may include money, time,
27:30
childcare, technology, a team,
27:33
a supportive partner, a mentor,
27:36
transportation, a home office,
27:39
healthcare, education, or an established network.
27:44
Some people begin with more infrastructure than others.
27:48
Imagine two women starting the same business. They're equally
27:53
talented, motivated and willing to put in the work.
27:58
One has a partner whose income pays the household bills.
28:01
She can reinvest her early revenue,
28:04
hire, help attend events, purchase better
28:09
tools, and spend money time growing the business.
28:13
And then you have another woman that needs the
28:18
business to pay her bills immediately. She may
28:22
also be working another job, managing child care and
28:26
making every investment carefully because there's no backup
28:30
if it doesn't work. Both women can
28:34
succeed, but they're not taking the same risk,
28:38
moving with the same amount of time or building under the same pressure.
28:45
If the first woman grows faster, that doesn't automatically mean
28:49
she worked harder or believed in herself more.
28:52
It may mean she had more Runway. She had more help.
28:56
She had more opportunities. Runway is
29:00
the space to experiment before something has to become profitable.
29:05
That space is a major advantage.
29:08
Again, acknowledging the advantage doesn't cancel the work.
29:12
If someone trained for a race with better equipment and
29:16
expert coaching and more time, she still had
29:20
to run. But pretending everyone arrived
29:24
at the starting line with the same resources doesn't make
29:27
the story more inspiring. It makes it less honest.
29:33
Now, money provides more than things.
29:37
Money provides freedom. Money provide choices.
29:41
Money can provide time, access,
29:44
speed, and protection from certain consequences.
29:49
You know, you can pay for childcare while you work.
29:52
It can pay for a coach who helps you avoid mistakes.
29:55
It can pay for advertising that puts your business in
30:00
front of more people. It can pay for travel to conferences where
30:05
you meet someone who changes your career. It can pay for
30:09
professional branding, legal advice, better Equipment,
30:12
a team, a photographer,
30:16
somebody you know, like a personal coach.
30:20
It can also allow you to live in,
30:24
you know, an unhealthy environment,
30:29
turn down the wrong opportunity, or continue building during
30:34
a slow season. Money doesn't
30:38
guarantee talent, happiness, integrity, or success,
30:42
but it does create options. And options
30:46
matter. Sometimes people say money
30:50
doesn't matter because they already have enough money not to think about it
30:54
every day. For someone you know, living without the security,
30:58
money is not about luxury. It's about breathing room.
31:03
It's the ability to make a decision based on what is best for
31:07
you. Not only would you can survive financially,
31:11
that's one reason financial independence matters so much to many
31:15
women. It's not simply about buying more,
31:18
it's about having more control over your choices.
31:22
When we hear a success story, we should be allowed to
31:26
ask, what financial foundation made this risk
31:31
possible? That question isn't jealousy,
31:35
its context. Also,
31:39
connections create access. Money is
31:43
only one form of support. Connections can be just
31:48
as powerful. Who introduces you matters.
31:52
Who answers your call matters. Who's willing to recommend
31:56
you, invite you into the room, share your work,
32:00
or tell you about an opportunity before it becomes public matters.
32:06
Networking is often described as though everyone can
32:09
simply walk into the same room and meet the same people.
32:13
But access isn't distributed equally.
32:18
Now, some people grow up around business owners,
32:21
executives, investors, and professionals who can explain
32:25
how systems work. Others are learning
32:30
the language, the expectations, and unwritten rules
32:34
for the first time. You know, one person can send
32:38
a single message to someone she already knows.
32:41
Another person may send years building enough credibility.
32:47
Another person may spend years building enough
32:51
credibility to receive the same response.
32:56
That doesn't mean connections are dishonest.
33:00
It's just relationships are part of how opportunities happen.
33:05
Building genuine relationships is valuable.
33:10
But when we tell the, you know, when we tell the success story,
33:14
we should acknowledge the introduction along with the hard work
33:18
that followed it. Yes. I mean, it's. People not
33:22
going to go into the nitty gritty and say, well, I had all these
33:26
opportunities. I, my, the doors were more open for
33:30
me. I didn't have to think about the financial aspect
33:35
or how I'm going to pay the bills, how I'm going to,
33:39
you know, if I need to hire a photographer,
33:42
if I, if I need to have doors open for me.
33:47
A lot of people are not going to really tell you those
33:50
things. They might be kind of. They don't want to seem like,
33:54
hey, I had more opportunity than somebody else, whatever. Everybody has
33:59
their own reasoning.
34:03
I worked hard and someone opened a door
34:07
for me. Can't exist in the same sentence.
34:15
Now. Emotional support is also a resource.
34:19
Not all support is visible or financial.
34:25
Having people around you who believe in you can change
34:28
how much energy we have available to build.
34:32
Imagine pursuing a goal while the people closest to you encourage
34:36
you, respect your work time, celebrate your progress.
34:41
They're rooting for you and remind you of your ability when you doubt
34:45
yourself and when you're trying to build something new. This is the
34:50
time when you want people or even one person
34:54
around you that believes in you. When you have doubts, when you have
34:58
fails, they still believe in you and they are rooting
35:01
for you and telling you to just get up and continue on pursuing
35:06
your dream and your goals. Now imagine pursuing the
35:10
same goal while being questioned, dismissed, interrupted,
35:13
or made to feel guilty for wanting something of your
35:17
own. Those are not the same conditions.
35:20
The second woman may spend part of her energy doing
35:24
the work and the rest defending why the work
35:28
matters. That emotional cost is real support
35:32
doesn't mean everyone has to agree with every idea.
35:37
Of course honest feedback is valuable and you want to
35:40
have that feedback. You also want to see, okay,
35:44
the person's giving you feedback. Do they have kind of knowledge of
35:47
where you're going, what you're doing? But feedback
35:51
is also very valuable. There's a difference between thoughtful concern and
35:56
repeatedly making someone feel foolish for trying.
36:00
If you don't have the support you wish you had, it doesn't
36:04
mean your dream is wrong. It may mean you need to
36:08
build support differently. You may
36:12
find community through other creators, business groups,
36:15
mentors, professional organizations,
36:19
or women who understand what you're trying to create.
36:23
Sometimes the people who support your next chapter will
36:27
be people you meet after you begin.
36:31
And you might find that the support a lot of times comes
36:35
from people you barely know and not the people
36:39
who are closest to you. Context isn't
36:44
an attack. I want to be careful here,
36:48
because conversations about advantage can quickly become conversations
36:52
about whether someone deserves her success.
36:57
That is not the point.
37:00
This episode isn't about looking at every successful woman and
37:04
trying to find a reason her accomplishments don't count.
37:08
It's not about resenting someone for having a
37:12
supportive partner, family, money, child care,
37:15
education, or valuable connections.
37:19
If you have support, use it,
37:22
appreciate it, be honest about it,
37:25
then help open a door for someone else when you
37:29
can. The goal isn't to make successful people apologize.
37:33
The goal is to stop making struggling people believe
37:37
that a lack of visible results must mean a
37:41
lack of discipline, talent, or worth.
37:44
Context makes room for fuller truth.
37:49
Someone can be hardworking and privileged,
37:52
someone can be talented and connected.
37:56
Someone can have survived terrible circumstances and
38:00
later receive meaningful help. Someone can have
38:04
very little support and still make mistakes.
38:07
There are hers to own.
38:11
Human stories are complicated. We lose something when
38:15
we reduce success to one slogan. She wanted
38:19
it badly enough. Wanting it matters.
38:24
So do resources. So does timing,
38:28
health, opportunity, responsibilities,
38:31
luck, and the people around you.
38:35
Comparison without context becomes self punishment
38:41
when you compare yourself to someone online,
38:43
you're usually comparing results, not conditions.
38:48
So you see that she posted every day for a year.
38:52
You may not see that content creation was her full time
38:56
job while you were building around a job, children,
39:00
clients and a household. You see
39:04
that she invested in the business coach. You may not see that
39:09
the investment didn't affect whether her bills were paid.
39:13
You see that she attended every networking event.
39:16
You may not see who was home with her children.
39:19
If you ignore those differences, you may begin using her
39:24
progress as evidence against yourself. She did it,
39:28
so why can't I? That's the question you keep on asking yourself.
39:33
A better question is what can I learn from her
39:37
and what needs to be adopted to
39:41
fit my actual life? Inspiration says her.
39:46
Result shows me something may be possible.
39:50
Comparison says her Timeline proves I'm
39:53
behind and recognize
39:57
that those aren't the same message.
40:01
Take the possibility and lead the punishment.
40:05
You don't need to dismiss someone else's success to
40:09
respect your own pace. We all go at a different pace
40:13
and we all go like kind of read the book and
40:17
go through chapters at the different pace at
40:21
a different time. You don't owe the Internet
40:25
your trauma because storytelling connects so
40:30
deeply, you know there can be pressure to turn every painful
40:34
experience into content. You don't have to be sharing
40:38
every painful experience with the entire world.
40:42
You can share part of it and leave parts out because
40:48
you also don't want to be compromising other people in your life.
40:51
I believe in honest storytelling. I also believe you're allowed
40:55
to have boundaries. You don't have to reveal
40:59
you know every detail of your childhood, marriage,
41:03
family, finances, or grief to prove that
41:07
message is real.
41:13
You can share what an experience taught you without identifying
41:17
every person involved. You can speak about the
41:21
pattern without exposing the private details.
41:25
And you can wait until you've processed something before
41:29
turning it into a lesson.
41:33
And you can decide that certain parts of your life aren't content
41:37
at all. The most powerful story isn't
41:42
always the one with the most painful details. It's the
41:46
one that is honest, clear, and useful to a person listening.
41:51
You can say I spent years doubting myself and
41:55
talk about how that affected your choices. You can say,
42:00
I know what it feels like to want financial independence without
42:04
explaining every private reason behind that desire.
42:08
You can say, I didn't always have the support I needed.
42:12
And focus on what you're learning about building self trust.
42:17
Your story belongs to you before it belongs to
42:21
an audience. And that's something that I also
42:25
kind of had to learn and continue to learn, is that you want to
42:28
tell your story, but how
42:33
exactly do you tell that story without compromising
42:38
people in your life? Because you want
42:42
to be relatable to other people, but you also don't
42:46
want to be hurting people in your life by
42:50
telling your story. How to build when
42:54
you don't have the same advantages? That's a question that
42:59
I know I've asked myself before and continue to ask,
43:02
and maybe you've asked that question yourself before.
43:07
So if you're listening and thinking, okay,
43:11
I understand that other people had support or have
43:14
support, but I still have to build my life with what
43:18
I have. And you're absolutely right.
43:21
I look at so many people and see, oh well,
43:26
you know, this person had
43:30
kind of advantages because of the fight, the finances,
43:35
the people in the circle, the access
43:39
to certain things, the being
43:43
able to hire photographers on a regular basis, being able
43:47
to have people that help with social media, being able to hire coaches
43:52
and go to different retreats to help
43:57
with, let's say, the mindset to.
44:02
To send to. To set herself to be in the path
44:06
that she's at and to build the business that
44:10
is thriving right now.
44:14
Recognizing an equal starting point should give you clarity,
44:20
not helplessness. The question becomes,
44:23
what resources do I have? What resources do
44:28
I need and how can I choose the gap? One step
44:32
at a time. Start by taking inventory.
44:35
What skills do you already have? Who do you genuinely know?
44:41
What time can you realistically protect?
44:44
What can you learn from a free or lower
44:48
cost before making a larger investment? What can you test in
44:52
a small version before building the full thing? Where could
44:56
you exchange value instead of paying immediately? Who's already
45:00
serving the audience or market you want to reach?
45:04
You may not have a large financial Runway, but perhaps
45:09
you can build proof slowly while maintaining another source
45:13
of income. You may not have a powerful network,
45:17
but you can begin creating real relationships
45:21
by being helpful, consistent and interested
45:25
in people, not by asking strangers for favors before
45:29
they know you. You might not be able to hire a full
45:33
team, but you can identify the one task where
45:37
limited help would create the greatest amount of
45:41
time. You may not have perfect emotional
45:45
support, but you can find People who understand
45:48
your goals and stop sharing every new idea
45:52
with people who automatically discourage it.
45:56
Strategy matters most when resources are limited so
46:01
you don't have to copy the path of someone whose life is
46:05
structured differently. Build a path that respects
46:09
your responsibilities and still moves you forward.
46:13
Now, it may be slower, but slower doesn't mean
46:17
less meaningful. Tell the story while you're
46:22
still in the middle. One thing I'm learning about content is
46:26
that you don't have to wait until you've reached the final success story to have
46:31
something worth saying. I've seen plenty of people,
46:34
you know, when they reached
46:39
their success, let's say they were, they decided to get to digital affiliate
46:43
marketing or TikTok shop, and they had the
46:47
opportunity and they were successful in growing fast and
46:53
being able to then become financially kind of successful,
46:57
that now they are more kind of
47:01
inclined of talking about their success and saying, hey, I invest in
47:05
this and this helped me to get to where I am and I
47:09
make this X and X amount of money and, you know,
47:13
on and on and on. And of course, when someone
47:18
like me looks at it like, oh my God, like, I want to be there,
47:21
I want to be that potentially successful, I want to have that financial
47:24
freedom. But then you think about, okay,
47:29
so let's say I got into digital market, affiliate market, I have
47:32
this product to sell. How am I going to sell it? How am I going
47:36
to get my messaging across? I haven't reached that success. And I used to look,
47:40
look at it and say, well, of course it's easier to talk about your success
47:44
when you're already as successful. And you can say,
47:47
you can talk about the finance, the financial independence
47:51
and what you can do and how your life is now. It's easier
47:56
messaging than for somebody like me who's starting from chapter
48:01
one. How am I going to tell somebody, hey, you can be successful if I'm
48:05
not successful yet? And that's something that, that mindset
48:08
that I had to work through and just realize that,
48:12
well, okay, then you can take people on the journey if you want to
48:17
be, let's say if you want to pay off your bills and your,
48:20
your credit card bills, your debt and stuff like that, or you're trying to save
48:24
money for house you want to buy, or you want to save
48:29
money for a family vacation, or you want to save
48:32
money to buy a new car, you take the people on that journey
48:37
of what you're planning on doing, what hustles that you were
48:41
trying to do on the side to start saving money little by
48:45
little to Achieve that goal. I didn't know that at first,
48:48
and I made so many mistakes not knowing that.
48:53
But I had to go through those times and
48:57
fail so many times before I learned
49:01
how I can be telling my story and
49:06
where I'm going, where I wanted to, what.
49:10
What I'm trying to reach.
49:13
So telling the story while you still in
49:17
the middle, it's very. It's very important. It makes
49:21
people believe in you. It makes people, like,
49:25
trust you. It makes you are more relatable to people because
49:30
they see there's so many people that you don't realize that are in the same
49:34
boat as you are, and they want to go along the journey
49:37
with you. And when they see you success,
49:41
when they see you actually buying that car with the
49:45
money that you've been putting aside and we've been hustling to
49:49
earn that extra income, when you're trying to build a personal
49:53
brand and you're going through struggles, and when you reach that success,
49:57
then you know how many messages like I have seen in accounts and say,
50:01
hey, I followed you when you were going through
50:05
that journey. And seeing you succeed, it just gives me hope.
50:10
So it's like taking people on the journey is so
50:14
important. And of course you're going to then have people who going
50:19
to follow you and see you when you already reached that destination,
50:22
but you still continue to grow. And you know, how many people actually breach that
50:27
success? And they're like, you know what? I want to be doing something else.
50:30
Maybe something happened in their life. And they're like, you know what? I want
50:34
to pivot. I want to go completely different directions. And yes,
50:38
maybe there are people who followed you for the long time. They're like, yeah,
50:41
that's not for me. And they're gonna drop off or they're like, oh, yeah,
50:44
you know what? I'm gonna go with her, wherever she's going. You just never
50:47
know. But you taking that leap and you putting
50:52
that, that maybe your new dream into action,
50:56
and you will have people who are gonna fall off, and you're gonna have people
51:00
who are gonna continue on this new journey of yours, and then you're gonna
51:04
have new community that's going to be building.
51:07
One thing that I'm learning about, you know, content is that you
51:12
don't have to wait until you reach the final success story
51:15
to have something worth saying. And that boy, that took
51:19
me quite some time to realize that.
51:23
But hey, life is a journey, and we're
51:26
all learning through it. Through every mistake, through every success.
51:32
This is. We are evolving you can
51:36
share from the middle. You can talk about what you're trying,
51:40
what you're learning, what you once believed,
51:43
and what you're beginning to understand differently. You don't need to
51:47
pretend you have every single answer. In fact,
51:51
people may trust you more when you say, I'm working through this too.
51:55
There's a difference between teaching from a pedestal and
51:59
sharing from your from the experience, you can say,
52:03
here's what I've learned about fear while building something new here.
52:07
Here's what I wish I understood before I started. Here is
52:11
what didn't work and what I'm changing. Here's what
52:16
progress looks like when you also have a full life that
52:20
is still valuable. Storytelling. Your audience doesn't
52:25
only need the person holding the trophy. Sometimes they need the
52:29
woman a few steps ahead who remembers exactly
52:33
how heavy this part of the climb feels.
52:38
Redefining Success Honestly part
52:42
of protecting your mindset is defining success for yourself.
52:46
If success is only a certain income number,
52:49
follower count, home title,
52:52
or lifestyle, you may miss what you're already building.
52:57
Of course, financial results matter. I don't
53:01
believe we should pretend money is unimportant while talking about business.
53:06
But success can also include becoming more confident,
53:10
learning to communicate, developing a skill,
53:14
creating choices, setting boundaries,
53:18
and no longer abandoning yourself whenever progress
53:22
is slow. Success can be making
53:27
your first sale. It can be posting when you're
53:30
afraid of judgment. It can be hearing no
53:34
without deciding that you're the problem. It can be building
53:38
something gradually instead of placing your family
53:42
in a financial dangerous position. It can be realizing
53:47
that a plan isn't working and having enough self
53:51
trust to change it to pivot. The visible result
53:55
may take time, and a lot of times it really does.
53:59
The person you're becoming while building it is part of
54:03
the success story too.
54:07
Now, this week, I want you to choose one success
54:10
story that inspires you. Instead of comparing
54:14
yourself to the result, study the full story as
54:18
carefully as you can and ask these questions.
54:23
How long did it actually take? What skills
54:26
did this person build? What support did this person
54:30
have? What did money make possible?
54:34
What failures or changes came before the breakthrough?
54:39
What part of the strategy can I use?
54:43
What part doesn't fit my current life?
54:47
Then turn the attention back to yourself.
54:51
What is one invisible resource I already have that I
54:55
may be overlooking? What is one missing resource I need
54:59
to begin building? Maybe you need knowledge, protected time,
55:03
encouragement, child care, better financial
55:07
information, a connection, or simply
55:11
a clear plan. Name it without
55:14
shame. Needing support doesn't make you less
55:18
capable. It makes you honest about what sustainable success
55:22
requires. And finally,
55:26
write one sentence about your current messy middle.
55:31
Right now I'm learning to da da da.
55:34
Right now I'm building da da da. Right now I'm
55:38
trying again after da da da. Don't rush past
55:42
this part of your story. One day it may be the
55:47
part that helps someone else believe she can continue.
55:52
Success stories are powerful. They show us possibility.
55:57
They remind us that a life can change, an idea can
56:01
grow, and a person can become more than she once
56:05
believed. But success is rarely created by
56:09
hard work alone. There's usually a bigger story. There may be
56:13
money that provided Runway, a partner who created stability,
56:17
a family member who helped children, a mentor who
56:21
shortened the learning curve, a connection who opened the door,
56:25
a friend who kept believing during the quiet years.
56:29
There may also be failed ideas, fear,
56:33
exhaustion, repetition, private disappointment, and years
56:37
when nothing looked impressive from the outside.
56:41
Acknowledging those things doesn't make success smaller.
56:45
It makes the story whole. So next time social
56:49
media shows you someone's beautiful result,
56:53
allow it to inspire you. But don't use it to punish yourself.
56:58
You don't know every advantage she had. You don't know every price
57:02
she paid. You don't know how many chapters were removed to
57:06
fit the story into a 32nd 60 second
57:10
video. Learn what you can celebrate,
57:14
what is worth celebrating, and then turn to your own
57:18
path. Build with the resources you have.
57:22
Be honest about the support you need. Create relationships,
57:27
develop your skills, protect your finances,
57:30
take the opportunity seriously and give yourself permission
57:34
to move at a pace you really you know your
57:38
real life can sustain. And when you when
57:43
your own success story begins to unfold.
57:46
Tell the truth about the middle.
57:50
Talk about the work. Talk about the help,
57:53
the doubts, about the people who open the doors.
57:58
Talk about money, like what money made
58:02
possible and what it couldn't fix.
58:05
Your success won't become less impressive because
58:09
you acknowledge that you didn't build it in complete isolation.
58:14
It may become more relatable, more useful,
58:18
and more human. Thank you for
58:22
tuning in to Nadi Unfiltered Podcast. If this episode hit home
58:27
for you, save it, share it, and pass it along to
58:31
another woman who may be comparing her messy middle to someone
58:35
else's. Finished story. And remember your story,
58:39
your pace and your lane are enough.