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S3 E50 - Are You a REAL American Game Show · The Steve & Jeff Show

• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Steven Jeff Show, the funniest podcast ever.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_01: Hey people, I don't write the words, I just read them.
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_01: Be sure and follow or subscribe to the Stephen Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_02: Write us a review while you're there, too.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_02: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Johnny, and I believe that I have plenary authority to welcome Jeff from that war zone Chicago.
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_02: By the way, Jeff, did you realize this is the final episode of season three?
• 0:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now, you know, our seasons are mostly an accounting mechanism, so season four should start next week, but I digress.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_02: How is that war zone in Illinois, Jeff?
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I think that's our final episode, too.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Chicago's final episode.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Because it feels as though yeah, I didn't realize, Steve, in how bad a shape our city was in until we started.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_02: I don't think anyone did.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm I hope we got there in time because it's really quite amazing how much better our city is when there's troops lined up along the streets.
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_02: No, I mean, jack boots just make every city more appealing and more pleasant.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's unbelievable.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: And that is all the more reason why I'm excited because Kathy and I are going to Hawaii.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's sunprotected at this point, but I'm I'm hoping that maybe by the time we get there, you know, there will be troops lined up in uh I think there'll be jack dudes in Hawaii pretty soon.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_02: But anyway, so I uh why are you going to Hawaii?
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_02: You going for peace talks or maybe some other occasion, like, well, I don't know, a quick stop on the way to emigrating to Singapore.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: Well, you know, we've always wanted to go to Hawaii.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: I've always wanted to go to the Jack Lord Museum and check the beautiful.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_02: I was there a couple years ago.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_02: Beautiful.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_02: I stood at the display and I played that tape of him saying Bookham Dano.
• 1:54
  SPEAKER_02: I played that probably I don't know 50 times.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I I have fantasized about having hair like he had.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I haven't we all, I guess.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: It was beautiful, anyways.
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_00: No, it turns out that it's an unexpected vacation because we won a game show.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, Kathy won the game show, and she had never been on a game show before, and she'd never won anything before.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: So this was these are all first, along with you know, the occupying of our city.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, I never thought those game shows were legit, but I don't know, maybe they are.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_02: So what what game show was she on and how'd she win?
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: Well, she was on a it was a remake.
• 2:33
  SPEAKER_00: Do you remember the the game show You Snooze You Lose?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: It was hosted by Bill Cosby back in the 60s and 70s, I think.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah, and maybe in the 80s too.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: Well, the cool part is that Mr.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Cosby has been uh let out of prison, and he came back as as the host of the show, and you know, it was touch and go for a while.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_02: With Cosby hosting, I bet there was a lot of touching and probably even more going.
• 3:00
  SPEAKER_02: But so tell me about it.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_02: What happened?
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: This is the first game show she had been in.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: She tried out for a bunch of other ones.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_02: I remember that show, you know.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_02: I remember I remember watching that show years back.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_02: I recall it it was kind of unusual because it was filmed at his house, and you know, most shows are done at a studio like eccentric Lady Land, but you know, better.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_02: They brought back quite a few of those old game shows from the 60s, you know.
• 3:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, that's Hollywood, they have no original ideas, right?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_02: Everything's a remake, but you know, I saw a preview for the hundred thousand dollar pyramid scam.
• 3:33
  SPEAKER_02: It was hosted by Eric Trump and Elon Musk, but they changed the name to Pocket Change because that's all the contestants had left.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I'm surprised personally, I was surprised they didn't call it Petty Cash Patel.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: That would have been a good name too.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I remember that show.
• 3:47
  SPEAKER_00: I also remember, I don't know if you remember some of the some of the other shows that that they're bringing back.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: One was um Harvey Firestein.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: Firestein?
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_00: No, I guess that would be a different kind of show.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_02: No, that'd be that that actually would be an interesting show.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: That would be an interesting show, but I think that would be okay.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Harvey Weinstein.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, very different, very different.
• 4:05
  SPEAKER_00: Very different.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: And he has a new show based on an old show on Who Wants to be a movie star.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yes.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of a combination of a game show and talent search, you know, like the voice or whatever, you know, America's Got Talent.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: That should be amazing.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, I bet it will be.
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_02: And and you know, don't forget that Ghlaine Maxwell is replacing Wayne Brady as the host of Let's Make a Deal.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I heard she called in a favor to get that gig.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_02: It's amazing what can be accomplished by saying nothing at all, but but I digress.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_02: Tell me more about Kathy.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, how'd she how'd she win this contest?
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: Why, as I said, this was Kathy's first time being on a game show, and you know, the competition was fierce.
• 4:48
  SPEAKER_00: It was nip and tuck down to the very last question.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I bet there was nonstop nipping and tucking with old Bill as the host.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_02: What was the winning question?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this is kind of where we caught a break, too.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: You know, she was nervous, and but all of a sudden, Bill Cosby's ankle bracelet malfunctioned.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: They had to postpone the show right before they asked the final question.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: But the the cool part is, you know, I'm a big fan of all these game shows, and I I've watched probably every episode of You Snooze You Lose.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: These were the same questions that they asked 30 years ago.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: So I I knew what was coming.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we had a heads up on what was coming and we could practice.
• 5:29
  SPEAKER_02: So you knew the question and the answer, and you had all night to rehearse it with Kathy.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_02: Well, that's outstanding.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: That's cool.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_02: Now, what was the question and the answer?
• 5:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, it is outstanding.
• 5:38
  SPEAKER_00: But again, Kathy was really nervous.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_00: And we were rehearsing all night, never quite got it right, you know, till early morning.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: And and I still wasn't quite sure.
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: But question was what are the three main parts of the male anatomy?
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: And the answer was the head, the heart, and the penis, obviously.
• 5:59
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, that doesn't sound so hard, and that's not a double entendre.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_02: But then again, you know, after a Cosby cocktail, anybody could forget anything, I'm sure.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: The next morning, I'm still thinking about how hard that must have been for her and for Bill.
• 6:14
  SPEAKER_00: And for Bill.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: But, anyways, the next morning we go to Mr.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: Cosby's home.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, recreating the the mood, so to speak.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: And they started the show, and sure enough, Bill asked Kathy to name the three parts of the male body, and he gives her 10 seconds, and I was nervous, but Kathy looked okay, and then you could just see the light bulb go on.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: So she says, the head was the first answer.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Mellow Jell O Bill, he was like, Congratulations, that's great.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: What's the second?
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then you could see some confidence building, and she said, Yeah.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_02: And he's like 37% of the way there.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: And she says, he says, So, final part of the question, what was the third part of the male body?
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then she froze.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, the clock is ticking.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_00: I'm worried.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: And all of a sudden she just starts talking to herself out loud.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: And she says, My husband drilled this into me last night, and I had it at the tip of my tongue this morning.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Close enough, congratulations, you won your trip to Hawaii.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_02: Oh man, congratulations.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_02: You know, that's another example of getting a break by saying nothing at all.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_02: Unfortunately, you might not be able to use the prize, though.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: I guess some bad news, or at least, you know, news.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: My dad, did he get paroled?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Because if he if he got paroled, he's gonna want to stay with us.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: And which would be good.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, that would be great, but probably wouldn't want to go to Hawaii.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I don't think he'd be allowed to leave the state.
• 7:39
  SPEAKER_02: No, he's not getting paroled anytime soon.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_02: So you can keep that guest room for yourself.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_02: But no, it turns out that our king is also a big fan of game shows and has created a new one to measure people's loyalty to him and our country, which you know in today's America is the same thing.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, the game show is called Are You a Real American?
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: The way it works is people, I mean, real Americans, just answer a few easy questions.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_02: And if they get them right, they're gonna be allowed to live in this great country.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_02: But maybe this is the good news.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_02: The king heard some of our episodes, and because of that, we get the opportunity to prove to him that we are real Americans.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's great.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: It should be a piece of cake.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, obviously, we're real Americans, and everybody knows what we think of the king.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, we we compliment him every week.
• 8:29
  SPEAKER_00: So, how will this yeah?
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, how will this work?
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do we have to head down to Florida to take the test?
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_02: Oh no, that's more good news.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: See, our king has designated someone local to administer our tests for us.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_02: And you remember in the last episode when Johnny said that he and my mom might join ICE?
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_02: Well, you know, my mom didn't want to because she thought she couldn't smoke on duty.
• 8:51
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, it turns out that she could, but you know, she didn't want to do it.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: But Johnny joined up, he passed their non-existent standards, and he joined ICE.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_02: And I gotta tell you, our test proctor, if you will, is our very own Johnny.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_02: That should make this really, really easy.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_02: Johnny, of course, is involved with my mom, so we should be a shoe-in.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Wow, that's great.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: And the best part is maybe can we do this on the air?
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because then everybody in the world, you know, the millions of people will get a chance to see what great Americans we are.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: Johnny, we are ready.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_02: Let's play Are You a Real American?
• 9:26
  SPEAKER_01: Right, Steve?
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_01: Live from Omaha, Nebraska.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: That tiny blue dot in that big, beautiful, bright red state for real Americans is the new game show, Are You a Real American?
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_01: The only game show where facts don't matter.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Feelings are optional, unless they're the king's feelings, and loyalty is everything.
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready to get deported?
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: Just kidding.
• 9:54
  SPEAKER_01: Now let's meet our contestants.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_01: Let's see, you're Jeff, is that right?
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I uh I am Jeff, Johnny.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: You really are taking this seriously, aren't you?
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_01: I need to.
• 10:08
  SPEAKER_01: Are you the Jeff from the Steve and Jeff show?
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, Johnny.
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: That's me.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: I I am that Jeff.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: I'm willing to play along.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I am the Jeff from the Steve and Jeff show, and as you know, I'm from Illinois.
• 10:23
  SPEAKER_01: Illinois?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: That war zone?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because our king wants to solve your problems, even if you don't, you are still allowed to take the test anyway.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_01: And I guess that means that other guy over there is Steve.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, Johnny, I'm Steve from Omaha.
• 10:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, you're involved with my mom.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_02: I had drinks with you and my mom last night, remember?
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, no playing favorites here.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_01: Well, I think it's time we got started to see if either of you will have that right to join MAGA and stay in this country.
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_01: Are you ready to take the test?
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_01: And if you're not, you have no choice.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_01: Let's move on to the first question.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, Johnny, I'm ready, but just for the record, Jeff and I are business partners, not partners like you know, partners.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_02: Uh, there's nothing sexual or political.
• 11:14
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm in Nebraska, not Illinois.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but Johnny, I do need to point out that Steve was born in Peoria, Illinois.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: And for the record, I've I've always been a man, and I only live in a blue state to fight the enemies of this state and of our country.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, I'm ready to take the first question.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, oh, but and just to clarify, I was born in Illinois, but I left as soon as I was old enough to read a map and find big, beautiful red Nebraska.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_01: You're both off to a very good start.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, question one Which of these is the most American breakfast?
• 11:54
  SPEAKER_01: Avocado toast?
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_01: Freedom Flakes cereal?
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: A bald eagle's tears, or whatever our king eats while tweeting at 3 a.m.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Mr.
• 12:06
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, it's obviously the Freedom Flakes.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_01: I'm sorry.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_01: It is, of course, whatever our king eats while tweeting at 3 a.m.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: And we would have accepted KMC, Burger King, or Deep Fried Siberian Husky.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: Christy got a meaning that one.
• 12:27
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, Mr.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_01: Steve, please complete this sentence.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_01: The media is controlled by Jews, controlled by Israel, controlled by George Soros, or all of the above.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_02: Oh, wow, let's see.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_02: Controlled by Antifa?
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_02: You know, Antifa, she's married Uncle Taffa.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_02: Judges?
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: We will accept that answer.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: Always.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: We would have also accepted the media is fake and dishonest unless it praises the king.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's move to the next question.
• 13:03
  SPEAKER_01: Is your turn, Mr.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff?
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_01: True or false?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: The president can declassify documents by thinking about them really hard.
• 13:13
  SPEAKER_00: I kind of feel like this might be a trick question.
• 13:16
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's obvious on the surface.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, he can declassify them.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm gonna say false because it says that he has to think about it really hard, and I don't think he really has to.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent answer.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_01: We would also have accepted that the only documents that can never be declassified are the Epstein files, otherwise, like we always say, classified schmassified.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, Mr.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_01: Steve, here is your next question.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_01: Which of the following can be used to arrest un-Americans?
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_01: The FBI, the National Guard, ICE, or Superman?
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_01: Wow, I I'd say all the above.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_01: That is incorrect.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, Superman is a fake hero.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_01: There's only one superhero in America with superpowers, and that's our king.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_01: We'll give you partial credit though, since Dean Kane was Superman.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_01: Alright, Mr.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff.
• 14:20
  SPEAKER_01: Your next question is name our country's closest ally.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_01: Is it Russia?
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_01: Israel?
• 14:29
  SPEAKER_01: Saudi Arabia?
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: Or Florida?
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: I'm thinking the first three since Florida is not really a country.
• 14:38
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd say Russia, Israel, and Saudi Arabia.
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_01: That is correct.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_01: Florida is not a country.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_01: But we would have also accepted Texas and Arkansas.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, this next question is for both of you.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_01: Name three people in this country that you know aren't real Americans, and include their social security numbers, addresses, and voting histories.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: Bonus points if they're Antifa.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_01: Steve?
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, let's see.
• 15:07
  SPEAKER_02: I don't know, my mom, uh, Jeff's real dad, and uh George Antifa is our accountant.
• 15:13
  SPEAKER_02: Uh he shortened his name from Antifa with you know, I don't have their socials and addresses, though.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, that's too bad.
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_01: You were doing so well.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_01: But fortunately, I already have all that info for both your mom and Jeff's dad.
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff, it's your turn.
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'd say, well, obviously, Governor Pritzker, uh, Steve's mom.
• 15:33
  SPEAKER_00: I guess that's already been uh my fake dad, and George Longo, who works as a bud tender at the dispensary that I go to.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: And his address is 420 Antifa Court, Downers Grove, Illinois.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent, Jeff.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, let's move to the category of how well you know America.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_01: This one is for Steve.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_01: Steve, name three states where all the citizens should be deported.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_02: Okay, I this sounds pretty easy.
• 16:05
  SPEAKER_02: I I it'd be California, New York, and Oregon.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_02: Wait, can I also add Washington and New Jersey?
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent answer, Steve.
• 16:14
  SPEAKER_01: And extra credit for naming more than three.
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_01: What about you, Jeff?
• 16:19
  SPEAKER_00: Uh Chicago, Detroit, and Minneapolis.
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: I like the way you think outside the box, Jeff.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_01: Those are not states.
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_01: But we would have accepted any big city, especially if they're in red states but have Democrat mayors.
• 16:37
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, one final question, and this is worth double, triple or no points, depending on the mood of our king.
• 16:46
  SPEAKER_01: Jeff, you're first.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_01: The question is: if you could change one law in this country, what would it be?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_01: Eliminating statutory rape is a crime, legalizing prostitution, if she's hot, legalizing marrying your daughter, if she's hot, or banning women from voting in the military unless they're hot.
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_00: I want I I I just gotta say all of them.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: Alrighty!
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_02: And now you, Steve?
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: I agree.
• 17:16
  SPEAKER_02: All of them sound like a MAGA master plan, MAGA wet dream, you could even say.
• 17:22
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that completes our contest.
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_01: Now I can't share the results of the last question, but obviously, both of you forgot that any changes in the law can only be made by our king and only relate to him, he who is above the law.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you, John Roberts.
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_01: Well, that completes your exam to see if you're real Americans.
• 17:45
  SPEAKER_01: You'll be receiving the results at possible destination in a couple of weeks.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: Until then, please stay in the area.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And Jeff, you may want to cancel that trip to Hawaii.
• 17:56
  SPEAKER_02: Well, see, Jeff, I'm not sure how we did, or should I say how well you did?
• 18:00
  SPEAKER_02: Now I I gotta tell you, I did submit your address and social to Johnny, but only because I know yours is I mean, it's not personal, it's just it's just the new patriotism, you know, turning people in.
• 18:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that that's okay.
• 18:12
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I have to be honest too that I submitted a picture of you.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_00: You remember when you were in that frat initiation party where they dressed you up as a cheerleader?
• 18:22
  SPEAKER_00: So yeah, I thought it looked pretty good, actually.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, you you definitely dress up well as a woman.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_00: I guess we'll just have to wait and see what's gonna happen as we head into season four.
• 18:34
  SPEAKER_00: If not, it's been so fun.
• 18:37
  SPEAKER_00: Send me a postcard from wherever they send you.
• 18:39
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_02: And you too, Jeff.
• 18:41
  SPEAKER_02: You know, have fun at that No Kings rally.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_02: Normally at this point in the show, I would ask Johnny to take us out of here, but uh, I'm not sure he wouldn't take us out of the country and off to Panama or Uganda or Peoria.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_02: Let's just take ourselves out, so to speak, metaphorically speaking, not you know, literally.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, I hope we have a season four and hope to see all your listeners soon with the start of season four.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Me too.
• 19:05
  SPEAKER_02: Bye, everyone.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_02: Bye.