Latest / WOMEN MAJORING IN MARRIAGE / EPISODE #22 KNOWING OUR HUSBAND'S LOVE LANGUAGE
Transcript
- 0:00Welcome to the women, majoring in marriage podcast with your
- 0:05host Janice L. Vans, girl, if you are a married
- 0:10woman that desire is not just to have a surviving marriage, you
- 0:14know, the kind that's just on cruise control but actually want
- 0:17a thriving marriage. You are in the right place.
- 0:20If you are engaged, this show can inspire you to prepare for
- 0:24your marriage, before preparing, for that expensive, wedding day.
- 0:27Oh, and all my single ladies out there.
- 0:30There that are in their season of waiting on God, to send your
- 0:32husband. We've got something for you as
- 0:34well, girl, marriage is not hard, but it certainly is work.
- 0:39So relax. Get your pen and paper, and let
- 0:41us major in marriage. Hello and welcome to all my
- 0:51Queens to the women major in marriage podcast with yours
- 0:57truly, Janice L Vance. As always, I want to say thanks
- 1:05to all of you that continue to Rob with me some of these
- 1:09eversole may not be. Something they resonate with
- 1:15you, but you listened anyway? And I'm hoping when you listen,
- 1:22maybe there's some kind of take away that you can get from this
- 1:26episode today might not resonate with everyone and because it is
- 1:31particularly for wise married women, we're now on episode
- 1:38number 22. Can y'all believe we in the
- 1:40month of February already? It is so hard to believe.
- 1:44Where's time going? I tell you whatever you're gonna
- 1:48do, you better do it now because we've got not gonna be able to
- 1:51get these days back the years back so we better do it.
- 1:55Now episode number 22 to us. Why no one?
- 2:02I will husband's love language. No one hour, husband love
- 2:08language. Yeah, as we know the divorce
- 2:11rate is 50%, I mean half of the people that get married.
- 2:17They said I Do For Better or For Worse richer people, whatever.
- 2:23I have given up and thrown in the top tied.
- 2:29People are not. Fighting or considering their
- 2:34vows that they made the vows. They they so happily said I do
- 2:39too. Things have happened in that
- 2:43marriage. And people are leaving with no
- 2:47conviction, I always say. Ask God, do you stay or go?
- 2:55My friend, Donna wrote a great book, Donna Martin and I think
- 3:03the book the title is should I stay or should I go?
- 3:10I should have gotten a book out, a great book, a great book to
- 3:14read a great book. Donna Martin should I stay or
- 3:18should I go or it might be stay or go?
- 3:22I forgot which one it is, but such a great book, but I want to
- 3:25encourage us, as wise, to fight for our marriage, I don't
- 3:31suggest an an abusive marriage or one that adultery is the
- 3:36issue. We have people that get tired of
- 3:41each other, grow apart, people just go on by their own separate
- 3:48ways. He doing his thing, she doing
- 3:51her thing and I considering each other and they grow apart, they
- 3:55grow apart, but before they grow apart they become roommates
- 3:59living. Like roommates just.
- 4:02Hi how you doing by? We're going to eat what we're
- 4:06going to do. Just roommate grow apart.
- 4:11We have people that getting tired of each other growing
- 4:16apart. I don't know that we can make a
- 4:21person where I do now. I do know this, that we can't
- 4:25make a person love us but we must do all that we can for our
- 4:30marriage. This is to us wives that are
- 4:35still majoring in our marriage. So wives include a mean this
- 4:44deal. Major, I'm still trying to make
- 4:47our marriage work. Still trying to make us have a
- 4:51thriving marriage, not getting so comfortable and thinking that
- 4:54is perfect and not trying to make things better.
- 4:57There's always room for growth. This is for us and hopefully
- 5:01this will encourage you to push a little harder if you that
- 5:07woman. That is not majoring.
- 5:09You just tired. Y'all just just staying
- 5:11together. There's no communication.
- 5:18The love is gone. I hope this will encourage you
- 5:22and push you just a little bit harder.
- 5:27Why is it? Let us examine to see which is
- 5:30our husband love language. It could possibly be more than
- 5:35one. Also, a person love language
- 5:38does not have to stay the same because the love language can
- 5:42change with season. What was His love language.
- 5:48We when he was in his 20s, might not be the same in this story
- 5:53but it is 50 might not be the same as any 60, examine your
- 5:57husband and see what is his love language.
- 6:01The first love language. Ladies is words of affirmation.
- 6:07Affirm our appreciation to our husband in words.
- 6:13Let our husband know that we appreciate them.
- 6:17Give praise and give compliment. We often tell other people how
- 6:22you know we appreciate them but never remember to tell our
- 6:27husbands, remember everyone loves praise.
- 6:31It can easily be done unintentionally because we just
- 6:34assume already know. I appreciate.
- 6:37She ate him, he know, I think him.
- 6:41Just try saying thanks more often, if you know that your
- 6:45husband love language, do everything you can to show
- 6:51appreciation. The second one is acts of
- 6:55service acts of service number two, Put action to our words no
- 7:03that's the old saying. Say actions speak louder than
- 7:06words. That is particularly true of
- 7:10love for most people. If acts of service is our
- 7:14husband primary, love language, then nothing will speed more
- 7:18deeply to him. Emotionally then simple acts of
- 7:23service start expressing Love by doing those things that are
- 7:28important. To him.
- 7:32Talk is cheap. if no action is associated with it, sometimes we
- 7:39as wives have to do some things that may not interest us, but it
- 7:45interest, I husband if you know active service Is his love
- 7:51language then, focus on what you can do to enhance that act of
- 7:57service. Number three, receiving gifts.
- 8:04Don't forget Everyone likes receiving gifts.
- 8:08Once in a while, regardless of our society we live in
- 8:12throughout all human history, gift-giving has been perceived
- 8:17as an expression of love and people over and other countries
- 8:23ladies. They Love giving gifts.
- 8:29They love receiving give gift giving is one of their main
- 8:36things and a lot of these countries, you go.
- 8:40Those people in Africa, they disbelieve and gift giving those
- 8:45people in Jamaica. Those people over in Europe,
- 8:49they love giving gifts everybody like gifts.
- 8:56Every now and then. So if your husband is one that
- 9:00really, really, really, really, really like a lot of gifts and
- 9:04just get so excited about you, thinking of him, then show him
- 9:10your expression of Love by giving gifts.
- 9:14If that's his primary love language, presenting, what the
- 9:17occasion of guilt. When people receive a gift, they
- 9:21feel loved most deeply. If I husband really love gifts,
- 9:27then we must give them just because gift and I just because
- 9:32gift is, you know, An on occasion gear.
- 9:36It's not it's not his birthday is not Father's Day.
- 9:41You know, honey, he is a gift. I remember one time.
- 9:49No, I can remember. Several on Sarah, silver case, I
- 9:54have sent my husband flowers on his job and people would ask
- 10:00him. What have you must be in the
- 10:02doghouse? What have you done?
- 10:05And I'm thinking Okay, but women do this.
- 10:10This is not, this is not uncommon cinnamon, cinnamon
- 10:15flowers on his job and and and he will really get excited but
- 10:20I'm thinking. Okay, everybody does, they do
- 10:24look things in look gills or come home to flowers or come
- 10:28home and I wrap a gift or whatever.
- 10:31But if that is your husband love language, put forth, effort
- 10:37women, Put forth effort. The number four is quality time.
- 10:45If our husbands love language is quality time, giving him, our
- 10:49undivided attention, is one of the best ways to show.
- 10:54Love quality. Tammy, said, underside of time
- 10:58to give our husband, our undivided attention.
- 11:02You know, sometimes we as wives, you know, we have a lot on her
- 11:05plate in a day. It could be hard, trying to find
- 11:10time on a consistent base, but we have to do that.
- 11:15We have to find time. We might be busy with the
- 11:21children. We might be busy with our job.
- 11:25Might be busy with the church. We might be busy with our
- 11:28friend. We might be locked down on
- 11:31social media. Stop and give him quality time.
- 11:37If that is his love language. We have to make time women.
- 11:45We might not like sports, but if that is important to her
- 11:49husband, then speak his language.
- 11:52Sit down and watch a game sometime.
- 11:55You might not even like sports like me.
- 11:59It's not that. I don't like, on careful.
- 12:01I really don't care for sport. It's okay, but if that's if
- 12:06that's our husband love like ain't nothing wrong.
- 12:09With sometimes sitting down watching the game just seemed
- 12:12sad. you know, he watching the guy just go to sit beside I'm
- 12:18going to give us this challenge this week, look to see if we
- 12:23give each other. Undivided attention, you're not
- 12:28gonna believe. How many minutes I'm going to
- 12:32say for 15 minutes of our time? For 7 days.
- 12:41Don't say anything to your husband.
- 12:42This is the challenge. Don't say anything to him, just
- 12:46pay attention and see if you are giving each other. 15 minutes,
- 12:5415 minutes undivided attention. Not you have in your phone and
- 13:01talking in the phone on your phone and looking up, no
- 13:05undivided attention. Take the challenge.
- 13:07Ladies number 5, number 5 is physical, touch, Communicating
- 13:15love more clearly by touching your spouse.
- 13:20If physical touch is his love language.
- 13:24If physical touch is our husband primary love language.
- 13:30Then take the initiative to reach out and touch your husband
- 13:35wise, a rub on the shoulder holding hands in public.
- 13:40Rub your fingers, do is whatever the physical Teja, he like being
- 13:45touched. Tension if you know that really
- 13:49is what he really really likes. And since I'm talking to all of
- 13:54us that a wife talking to me too, I want to stress the
- 14:00importance annoying as love language.
- 14:03It is also important that we know our own love language and
- 14:07that I husband knows hours. Here's another challenge.
- 14:13Ask your husband what is your love language and if he doesn't
- 14:16know the five love languages name you don't have to go in
- 14:20detail. Just named gift-giving physical
- 14:23touch with and if he doesn't know what the Love Lane, tell
- 14:27them what they are. And then say what what are you,
- 14:29which one you think is minor? Do I have to love to love?
- 14:33Mango, do I have three or do I have all five of them?
- 14:38That's the challenge. Ask your husband.
- 14:42Why is it let us start today by studying our husband, pay
- 14:47attention to the things we know are important to him.
- 14:51We will be amazed at the very small things that speak to his
- 14:57language. When we as why I began to focus
- 15:01on our husband, God will bless us and allow us to focus more on
- 15:09our love language. We need to remind ourselves of
- 15:13the things we did before we mayor, when we were dating,
- 15:18please. And I husband was the sugar that
- 15:22spice and everything nice about the relationship.
- 15:28Now that we're married ladies, please, I make is not the sugar
- 15:33in the spice. Guess what it is?
- 15:37It is the preservative that which preserve romance and the
- 15:43relationship over the Long Haul. It is so easy to become content
- 15:49and complacent and began to live like roommate.
- 15:53The Bible talks about pleasing our neighbor who is our clothes
- 15:58Nate I spouse. Notice that Christ did not seek
- 16:04to please himself, he gay? His life.
- 16:10So we might hear he gay. We must give and not just think
- 16:20about ourselves consider. I husband started a Find your
- 16:27spouse, Loveland. Put them in action and watch our
- 16:30marriage Thrive, Mary ladies, remember no matter how great our
- 16:37marriage is there is always room for improvement.
- 16:44Don't get content. And saying you have a perfect
- 16:49marriage because you won't ever strive to make it better because
- 16:55you think that's the best that it can be.
- 16:59Always strive, you don't have a perfect marriage.
- 17:01I hate to bust some people bubbles, but you don't have a
- 17:04perfect man because we aren't perfect people.
- 17:07We striving for Perfection. So, if you have a ride, would
- 17:11make you think that your marriage is perfect?
- 17:14When you're not perfect? Let's be true to our own sales.
- 17:18Ladies we don't have a perfect marriage, you might have a great
- 17:22marriage but it's not perfect. I hope that these five love
- 17:28languages will help make our marriage.
- 17:33A great love affair. Ladies, go enjoy your day, be
- 17:40blessed. And as I always say, always try
- 17:44to leave a person better than you found them Yours.
- 17:49Truly Janice Vans. And these videos, these are
- 17:54podcast As ladies, share with somebody this month of February
- 18:01take, take time and share the video, you can copy the link and
- 18:05paste copied the link, it'll tell you when you when you
- 18:09listening to it you copy and paste incentive to send it to a
- 18:13couple of your friends that are married.
- 18:15That this might help and be a blessing to them.
- 18:18Latest go and be blessed. Thank you so much for joining us
- 18:25for this episode of the women majoring in marriage podcast.
- 18:29If you're enjoying the show, please feel free to like
- 18:31subscribe, leave a review or comment, you know, all that good
- 18:35stuff that helps other folks. Like you find the podcast,
- 18:37please come back every month on the second and fourth Wednesday
- 18:41for new episodes. You can also find Janice on our
- 18:44website, www.jfn.co.jp/toho order her book, women, majoring
- 18:50in marriage, and for more fun content, be sure to Our Facebook
- 18:54group at women, majoring in their marriage.
- 18:57Also, if you have any questions or would like to reach out, feel
- 19:00free to send us an email at the marriage, major at gmail.com.
- 19:04Thanks again for tuning in and we'll catch you in the next
- 19:07episode.