Latest / Very Fine Friends / Bonus IMPROV - I Think They Shipped the Wrong Product
Transcript
- 0:00welcome to verified friends welcome to verified friends welcome to verified friends
- 0:18Bonus improv.
- 0:25Joe?
- 0:27Can we get a suggestion, please?
- 0:29Yes.
- 0:30Your suggestion is unfathomable.
- 0:34And now let me give you your suggestion.
- 0:36Okay, nice.
- 0:37Just kidding.
- 0:38It's literally the word unfathomable.
- 0:40Someone put a nickel in you.
- 0:43You got a nickel in you?
- 0:44I'm still trying to figure out who it was.
- 0:48is that the word unfathomable? Okay. It is. Yeah. It is. Sorry. I'm sorry for any confusion.
- 0:55I may have forgive everyone or other crimes. Um, is there anything unfathomable to you?
- 1:02Um, I've had situations where the, this has happened a couple of times, like an improv
- 1:09classes where it's like the very first day and everyone's like warming up and like,
- 1:12um, like say your name and then say something that we would be surprised to know about you.
- 1:20And I'm always like, you don't know me. Why would anything surprise you about me or not? Or like,
- 1:26why would you have any kind of preconceived notions about something? Or if like that.
- 1:31Yeah, that's interesting. I don't know if that's really unfathomable,
- 1:34but it's always like, well, that's stupid. You're like, I am a woman, but I'm actually
- 1:38bad at cooking yeah
- 1:41joe coming with a hot takes yep yeah i said it
- 1:48but yeah it's like why why would you be surprised by anything
- 1:53that i said yeah because you don't know me yeah you don't know yeah that's a dumb way to phrase
- 1:58it and should just be like tell us something fun about yourself i'm like i don't fucking know well
- 2:02yeah i mean that question shouldn't exist in the first place but like the way that that's worded is
- 2:07weird that's a good question for friends like yeah great question for friends
- 2:12francis what's something we would be surprised to learn about you i don't know on the spot
- 2:19there's so many things
- 2:21so many surprising things i would have to know what are some irrefutable things that you think
- 2:30about me that are like that you would say define me and then i would find examples of things that
- 2:35contradicted those things oh uh what do i think defines you um i think
- 2:45i think you have a low tolerance for or low patience for stupidity
- 2:58and yet
- 3:01stupid puts up with me every day
- 3:04no not you
- 3:06I was just gonna say that
- 3:08there plenty of people breathing in the air in my house Barely Do I tolerate it Yeah
- 3:21Well, I think you've come pretty close to...
- 3:25Hmm.
- 3:27Huh.
- 3:27You know what?
- 3:29That's a tough one to refute.
- 3:31I do have a low tolerance.
- 3:33Oh, wait.
- 3:33My example backs up your...
- 3:36Yeah.
- 3:37Oh.
- 3:38But, okay, that's fine.
- 3:39well okay i got one um if you had to pick between living in nature for the rest of your life versus
- 3:46living in a big city for the rest of your life you would live in nature what do you mean nature
- 3:50like need toilets and stuff well like i don't like a cabin or something i'm not saying like you are
- 3:55in like living in a tent or something but like that's really interesting joe because
- 4:01because i could honestly i could kind of see it going either way well the places i like the most
- 4:07have like very nice natural elements,
- 4:10but it's still like very close to amenities.
- 4:14And you know what I mean?
- 4:15Like I really like.
- 4:17Could you go forever not having a restaurant?
- 4:19No.
- 4:20Yeah.
- 4:20No.
- 4:21When I was in Nashville for like two minutes,
- 4:22I was like,
- 4:25this is so beautiful.
- 4:25This is so nice.
- 4:27There's nothing to do.
- 4:28Yeah.
- 4:30And I need a little more.
- 4:32Yeah.
- 4:33I think we've talked about that.
- 4:34It was just kind of like,
- 4:34it can't be too small of a city.
- 4:37is there anything about me that you think is irrefutable?
- 4:44Yeah.
- 4:45Yeah.
- 4:45Yeah.
- 4:45Let me see.
- 4:47I'm not even going to crack open my file.
- 4:52Irrefutable.
- 4:53Irrefutable.
- 4:56I will say about you that you will not say something that you don't believe
- 5:04or like you will not agree with something or or like if it's not something that you think
- 5:12you know what i mean like you won't go with the flow you know what i mean yeah like you will
- 5:20speak like stand up for your your thoughts well i don't know if i always stand up but you can
- 5:24definitely tell like i hedge if someone says something and i'm just like i'm not in the mood
- 5:28to like tell you no but i'll just be like yeah uh-huh like you can tell when i don't agree with
- 5:34you even though i'm just like yeah okay i see where you're coming from i guess i think that's
- 5:39stupid like when you thought we should change it to the big premise yeah exactly and i was like
- 5:45listen in order yeah um yeah but i mean you agree right yeah see now we gotta do joe
- 5:51i i will absolutely agree with something that i don't believe in if it's convenient or habit
- 5:58advantageous for me. He doesn't agree with that.
- 6:01No, I meant we got to come up with an irrefutable
- 6:03Joe.
- 6:04I wasn't asking for you to weigh in on that
- 6:06about you.
- 6:09I wish I hadn't talked for the last
- 6:1010 seconds. I want the listeners to know
- 6:12how weak-willed I am in terms of my
- 6:14moral flexibility. It's on the website.
- 6:17They know.
- 6:20That was fun. That reminded me of that time
- 6:22we did the personality typing. Yeah.
- 6:26Previous bonus episode That right Well they all know What kind of a clownfish is going to listen to everything available immediately
- 6:36And now, improv.
- 6:45Barbara.
- 6:46Yeah?
- 6:48The gift that you got me came in the mail.
- 6:50Oh, good.
- 6:51Oh, I'm so excited, Barbara.
- 6:52I'm so excited, Dennis.
- 6:54I'm so excited for you.
- 6:56Can I just say I've never felt as close to another human being as I feel to you, Barbara?
- 7:02Oh, I'm so happy.
- 7:04That's what I wanted this gift to do is bring us closer together.
- 7:07It's just so hard to find someone that you connect with on such a deep spiritual personal level.
- 7:11Oh my God, I feel the same.
- 7:12To be known is to be loved.
- 7:15Can I open it?
- 7:16Please, please.
- 7:16I can't wait anywhere.
- 7:17I can't wait anywhere.
- 7:18Open, open.
- 7:18I don't want to ruin the wrapping.
- 7:19Let me go slow.
- 7:20It's beautiful.
- 7:22Thank you.
- 7:22Oh, it's a box.
- 7:23I'm going to open the box now.
- 7:24Okay.
- 7:25Oh, this is so exciting, Barbara.
- 7:27This is so exciting.
- 7:32There must be a mistake.
- 7:33Do you love it?
- 7:34Well, I think they shipped the wrong product.
- 7:39No, no, this is it.
- 7:40Do you love it?
- 7:42Maybe I don't get it.
- 7:44What's this supposed to be?
- 7:46I don't understand what's not to get.
- 7:48you love it right you love it hold on hold on hold on you meant to buy me this yeah
- 7:59oh i wrapped it too do you like how i wrapped it really well but it's a bra yeah oh my god you
- 8:10love it i can tell i don't get it what do you mean you don't get it barbara i'm dennis yeah
- 8:22i don't have anything to put in these yeah you do i see you
- 8:32for who you are in the inside and you have huge emotional knockers
- 8:38you've got the biggest knockers i've ever seen
- 8:43oh okay this is a gift for your soul oh that's funny okay that's funny what that's good no do
- 8:55you love it i it came from the heart yeah no no i i are you okay i think i get it now thanks um
- 9:01you don't seem happy i just it could have been clear that it was a
- 9:05a joke.
- 9:08Oh, no, it's not a joke. I mean it.
- 9:10Barbara, what?
- 9:12I have huge emotional
- 9:13knockers? Yes. What does that mean?
- 9:15It's a double D cup. Of emotional
- 9:18knockers. That means that
- 9:20you are so full
- 9:21of emotional range
- 9:23and stability.
- 9:25No, use it in a sentence. I don't get
- 9:27this.
- 9:30Your emotional knockers have helped me
- 9:31through the hardest times in my life.
- 9:34What?
- 9:35Okay.
- 9:36Here's a bra that's representative of your huge, huge emotional knockers.
- 9:41Let me Google this Emotionalknockers Oh it a whole organization Yeah it a real thing Oh Barbara I had no idea Yes
- 9:51Oh my God, I'm on here.
- 9:52You nominated me.
- 9:53Yes, I nominated you of Knockers of the Month.
- 9:56Dennis's D's.
- 9:57Who wrote this?
- 9:58I did.
- 9:59Barbara, thank you.
- 10:01I've completely changed my mind.
- 10:02This is so nice.
- 10:03This is so, so nice.
- 10:05I'll get these framed.
- 10:07Thank you.
- 10:09That's all I wanted.
- 10:10I just wanted it to show just you've been such a good friend and how supportive you are,
- 10:16just like the bra.
- 10:17It's another bit of symbolism and just how full I think your metaphorical memories are.
- 10:26It's nothing.
- 10:27It was not supposed to be a physical thing at all.
- 10:28Okay.
- 10:29No, I get it now.
- 10:30Barbara, I get it.
- 10:31Thank you.
- 10:31I did hear you call us friends.
- 10:33We'll talk about that later.
- 10:34But thank you.
- 10:36Wait a second.
- 10:37What's that behind you?
- 10:38What?
- 10:40Is that a, wait, I see a present.
- 10:42Barbara?
- 10:42Do you have a present for me?
- 10:45I wasn't going to give it to you till tomorrow.
- 10:49But yes, I've got a present.
- 10:51Oh my God.
- 10:52Thank you.
- 10:53Oh.
- 10:53Oh, just take it.
- 10:54Can I open it?
- 10:55Can I open it?
- 10:56Well, sure.
- 10:58Thank you.
- 11:01Oh, oh, it's, look at you with a ribbon.
- 11:04I love this.
- 11:05Oh, I watched a video online.
- 11:06I can do that now.
- 11:07It's beautiful.
- 11:07Yeah.
- 11:08Oh.
- 11:09Oh.
- 11:10it's
- 11:12it's a jockstrap
- 11:16yes
- 11:18tis
- 11:19what do you think
- 11:21is this oh I know why
- 11:24I know why you got me this
- 11:25I know why you got me this
- 11:28well yeah it seems obvious right
- 11:30because I'm
- 11:31I'm so strong and sturdy
- 11:34like a turgid phallus
- 11:36i'm like an emotional turgid phallus that makes sense now right that's why you got it for me
- 11:45isn't it the emotional turgid phallus yes that could be a band name but it's not how i feel
- 11:51wait wait then what i don't understand think barbara why would i get you a jock strap
- 11:59because i'm strong and sturdy no get more literal
- 12:04What does it say on the inside?
- 12:09There's a name
- 12:10It says
- 12:12Barbara on the inside
- 12:14It's stitched in
- 12:16That's interesting, isn't it?
- 12:17Yeah
- 12:17Why would Charles
- 12:20Get Barbara's name
- 12:22Embroidered into his jockstrap
- 12:24And leave it for me to find
- 12:27At the gym
- 12:31In the sauna
- 12:32Where we were almost nude
- 12:34What?
- 12:38Charles?
- 12:39I know about Charles
- 12:40Why?
- 12:45Just kidding, I have a penis
- 12:47Scene
- 12:52Music
- 12:54Music