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14 | That's the Kirkland Difference · You Didn't Ask For This

• 0:00
  Matt: Is there something you want to uh ask me, Eric?
• 0:04
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:05
  Matt: I see the look.
• 0:07
  Matt: I see the look.
• 0:10
  Matt: I have several questions.
• 0:12
  Eric: Go ahead and say it.
• 0:12
  Eric: I know what you want.
• 0:13
  Eric: I know.
• 0:14
  Eric: Yes.
• 0:15
  Eric: Question one.
• 0:16
  Eric: Question one question phrases a statement.
• 0:20
  Eric: You are in a closet.
• 0:21
  Matt: I am in a closet.
• 0:23
  Matt: Alright.
• 0:24
  Matt: Although it's not, to be fair, what you see, what you see is a closet.
• 0:30
  Matt: What I am in, in fact, is a professional recording studio.
• 0:34
  Eric: Is this like a is this like an out-of-the-box episode?
• 0:37
  Eric: Like like is this imagine?
• 0:40
  Matt: I put sound panels on the wall, right?
• 0:42
  Eric: Shit.
• 0:42
  Eric: Okay.
• 0:43
  Matt: I can put it on the fucking roof.
• 0:45
  Eric: A single sound panel on the two.
• 0:48
  Eric: Oh, there's two.
• 0:49
  Eric: There's two.
• 0:49
  Eric: Sorry.
• 0:50
  Matt: There is two.
• 0:51
  Matt: There's two.
• 0:52
  Matt: And then a mountain of board games up there.
• 0:54
  Matt: Ooh.
• 0:55
  Matt: Okay.
• 0:56
  Matt: It's called insulation.
• 0:59
  Eric: Very good.
• 1:00
  Eric: That which cascades beautifully into my next question.
• 1:04
  Matt: Oh, yes.
• 1:05
  Matt: I think I know where you're going.
• 1:06
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:06
  Matt: Uh huh.
• 1:07
  Matt: The coats.
• 1:08
  Matt: It's an unfortunate backdrop.
• 1:09
  Matt: Yeah.
• 1:10
  Eric: I'm going to paint a word picture for our listeners.
• 1:12
  Eric: There's just a wall of coats behind Matthew right now.
• 1:14
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:14
  Matt: It's not a wall.
• 1:16
  Matt: It's like six, seven coats.
• 1:18
  Matt: It's the winter coats that I've put in here because I thought we were done with winter.
• 1:22
  Matt: Little did I know winter didn't think the same.
• 1:26
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:26
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:27
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:28
  Eric: Yeah.
• 1:28
  Eric: So I got some coats here.
• 1:29
  Eric: You got some coats.
• 1:30
  Eric: Like just by comparison, I own two coats.
• 1:34
  Matt: Uh-huh.
• 1:35
  Matt: Well, I gotta be honest, I only really wear two coats.
• 1:38
  Matt: Okay.
• 1:39
  Matt: But I've got some fan, like, there's some peacoats back here.
• 1:43
  Matt: Oh, I see.
• 1:44
  Matt: Those are those are fancy occasion coats only.
• 1:47
  Eric: Now, do you have like the dramatically long peacoat?
• 1:50
  Eric: Do you have like the the it like the i just elbow like luther peacoat?
• 1:54
  Matt: I have the the dramatically long peacoat, and you know this peacoat because I wore it during one of the drunk classics at Single Carrot that I then that we performed in.
• 2:06
  Matt: Yes, the Hamlet one, and then I looked good in it, so I just took it.
• 2:10
  Eric: Oh yeah.
• 2:11
  Eric: Oh, you you look folks.
• 2:13
  Eric: Let me first tell you uh Matt Matt wears the shit out of a goddamn peacoat.
• 2:18
  Eric: Matt was made for goddamn peacoat.
• 2:20
  Matt: No.
• 2:21
  Matt: I didn't know that until I put on the costume and said, My God, look at me.
• 2:24
  Matt: Oh, you didn't choose the peacoat life.
• 2:25
  Matt: Peacoat Life chose you.
• 2:28
  Matt: You know, I got my first peacoat to meet Lindsay's parents.
• 2:31
  Eric: I that's interesting.
• 2:32
  Eric: I love that.
• 2:33
  Eric: I like I know it didn't happen this way, but I like to imagine that like your dad took you aside and like it's time you had this.
• 2:39
  Eric: And like he like brought out the the box, like where you know the.
• 2:42
  Matt: It did not.
• 2:43
  Matt: It I I can tell you it did not happen that way.
• 2:46
  Matt: But I did I did buy this peacoat to make a good impression and realized instantaneously that I was uh overdressed.
• 2:56
  Eric: Oh no! Did you get compliment on your peacoat though?
• 3:00
  Eric: You know, nothing.
• 3:02
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 3:03
  Matt: Marriage is built on a lie.
• 3:08
  Matt: Oh man.
• 3:09
  Matt: Yeah, so I'm in the closet.
• 3:11
  Matt: Uh I got these coats and and a couple vests.
• 3:14
  Eric: Not don't forget my uh Oh, I will never forget your Back to the Future vest.
• 3:19
  Eric: Like to your one-to-one scale Marty McFly costume.
• 3:23
  Eric: Yeah, I mean, this is Marty's vest.
• 3:26
  Eric: This like Oh, I know you brand matched.
• 3:29
  Matt: Like you you I mean, okay, not quite that.
• 3:32
  Eric: But you went in hard.
• 3:33
  Matt: Like I remembered you researching this outfit.
• 3:36
  Matt: This was a gift from my brother, this this vest, but it's true.
• 3:40
  Matt: I have been for years assembling the definitive Marty McFly costume.
• 3:45
  Matt: It's not altogether because that shirt, the shirt pattern is hard to find.
• 3:50
  Matt: And lots of people, when they try let me tell you something.
• 3:52
  Matt: When lots of people, when they try to be Marty McFly for Halloween or some shit, yeah, they just put on some fucking Oxford shirt.
• 3:59
  Matt: No, that's not what he's got.
• 4:01
  Matt: Yeah.
• 4:01
  Matt: He doesn't or a flannel shirt, no, like, or just some checkers.
• 4:06
  Matt: No, it's like a it's a very particular check check checked pattern he's got on there.
• 4:11
  Matt: And I'm gonna find it.
• 4:12
  Matt: Oh, you'll find it.
• 4:13
  Matt: Probably in a thrift store, but I'm gonna find it.
• 4:16
  Matt: Most assuredly.
• 4:18
  Matt: Um so yes, uh in short, uh, I am I I I am I like to call it the pod pod.
• 4:26
  Eric: The pod pod.
• 4:27
  Matt: That's what I'm calling it thus far.
• 4:29
  Matt: Also, right outside the door, uh this closet is in fact located in a bathroom.
• 4:36
  Eric: Yeah, I well, because I remember before we were recording, you're I noticed the sheen of sweat.
• 4:41
  Eric: So what's the temperature like in there, Matthew?
• 4:44
  Eric: Uh it's climbing.
• 4:46
  Eric: It's c I can tell you that it's climbing as we record.
• 4:49
  Matt: Matt discovered what happens when you pack a room full of insulation.
• 4:53
  Matt: Uh.
• 4:54
  Matt: End coats.
• 4:55
  Matt: And then talk inside headphones.
• 5:00
  Eric: Every few minutes I'll just open the bathroom door and start like doing that wavy thing with it to circulate air.
• 5:06
  Matt: So anyway, yes, I've moved production into the closet into the bathroom adjacent to an office.
• 5:13
  Matt: Is this your midlife crisis?
• 5:15
  Matt: I was really hoping for better, if I'm being honest.
• 5:40
  Matt: My name is Matt Shea.
• 5:42
  Matt: My name is Eric Poach.
• 5:44
  Matt: Thank you all for joining us here for episode 14, baby.
• 5:49
  Matt: Eric, it's been a while for the two of us, actually.
• 5:52
  Matt: Been a while.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Been a while.
• 5:54
  Matt: Yeah, it's been a while.
• 5:55
  Matt: Yeah.
• 5:56
  Matt: So the how how the hell have you been, my friend?
• 5:59
  Matt: Oh, coping.
• 6:01
  Matt: Oh, yes.
• 6:02
  Matt: Yeah.
• 6:03
  Matt: I mean, I did the move, so Yeah, you you did the big move.
• 6:07
  Matt: Man, moving.
• 6:08
  Matt: It's it's always the worst.
• 6:10
  Matt: This time we got movers.
• 6:11
  Matt: This is the first time we had movers.
• 6:13
  Matt: Always get movers.
• 6:14
  Matt: Always get movers.
• 6:15
  Matt: Always get movers.
• 6:16
  Matt: I'm uh they I I could I can't tell you the night and day the experience of moving with movers.
• 6:22
  Matt: But let me say this.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_04: Yeah.
• 6:24
  Matt: As a first-time customer of movers, it's a little awkward.
• 6:28
  Matt: It's a little awkward.
• 6:29
  Matt: Uh for me personally, you're just standing there while people are getting your shit.
• 6:33
  Matt: Pointing every once in a while.
• 6:35
  Matt: Every once in a while, like what I was ended up doing is I felt like I was like, oh, let me basically like repack a box so it looks like I'm busy.
• 6:45
  Matt: You feel guilty for not doing anything?
• 6:48
  Matt: Yeah, like I feel like I should be helping, but also I'm paying you to not help.
• 6:52
  Eric: Exactly.
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_04: Oh, do you need it?
• 6:54
  SPEAKER_04: No, okay, I'll just be over here.
• 6:56
  Matt: Yeah, I will say though, uh, they the there was one of the movers that was putting like four, three or four boxes of my books, uh, and you know I have tons of them, on his back with like a strap at once, and I was like, Oh, you're not doing that for everybody, let me tell you.
• 7:14
  Eric: They're like superheroes.
• 7:15
  Eric: They're they're like they they do it so fast.
• 7:19
  Eric: Like so fast.
• 7:20
  Eric: Lightning fast.
• 7:21
  Matt: Yeah, no, it took us like a week to pack up the stuff they removed in 25 minutes.
• 7:27
  Matt: Yeah.
• 7:28
  Matt: My joints hurt after watching them.
• 7:30
  Matt: My yeah, I mean, somehow my joints still hurt anyway, but here we are.
• 7:35
  Matt: Now, our first question today, Eric, it wasn't necessarily submitted directly to us, uh, but it is a a bit of a trending question on Twitter, uh, and I've seen it elsewhere.
• 7:50
  Matt: It's made the jump from just being a tweet to being a screen cap of a tweet on Facebook.
• 7:55
  Matt: You know what I'm talking about.
• 7:57
  Matt: Which means it's perfect for us.
• 7:59
  Matt: Which means it's perfectly overdone for us to talk about.
• 8:03
  Matt: But the original uh sender of this was at Wiswell, and they ask the very important question of is Paul Bunyan a kaiju?
• 8:15
  SPEAKER_03: It's got it's got so much seasoning to it.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_03: Just beverage.
• 8:22
  Matt: So let's let's break this down.
• 8:24
  Matt: So for anybody, I think we gotta provide a little background, right?
• 8:28
  Matt: For anybody does not know, Paul Bunyan is uh probably the biggest piece of American folklore uh in terms of folk creat creatures, characters, characters, folk folk folk?
• 8:41
  Matt: He's a giant man.
• 8:44
  Matt: Man.
• 8:46
  Matt: He's a dummy thick he's a dummy big man.
• 8:49
  Matt: He's a lumberjack, though, right?
• 8:50
  Matt: That's yeah, that's his deal.
• 8:51
  Matt: He's a lumberjack.
• 8:52
  Matt: He's a lumberjack, he's got this big axe, and he's also got a big blue ox.
• 8:58
  Matt: Named Babe.
• 8:59
  Matt: Alright, this is fun.
• 9:00
  Eric: I'm trying to remember all the bits of Paul Bunyan lore that I've made I've retained over the years.
• 9:05
  Eric: I I seem to remember like shit like when they cooked his breakfast each morning, like men would tie like giant pats of butter to their feet like skates and skate across the griddle to make his pancakes.
• 9:17
  Matt: Well, let's just get right down to it, okay?
• 9:20
  Matt: Let's go directly to the source.
• 9:22
  Matt: Yep.
• 9:23
  Matt: Paul Bunyan, according to Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia, please donate.
• 9:27
  Matt: Paul Bunyan is a giant lumberjack and folk hero in American and Canadian folklore.
• 9:34
  Matt: I didn't know that.
• 9:34
  Matt: That scans.
• 9:35
  Matt: His exploits revolve around the tall tales of his superhuman labors.
• 9:41
  Matt: And he is customarily accompanied by Babe the Big Blue Ox.
• 9:46
  Matt: The character originated in the oral tradition of North American loggers and was later popularized by freelance writer William B.
• 9:53
  Matt: Laughhead.
• 9:55
  Eric: Huh.
• 9:55
  Matt: Huh.
• 9:56
  Eric: That's an alias.
• 9:57
  Matt: In the 1916 promotional pamphlet for the Red River uh uh lumber company.
• 10:03
  Matt: Anyway, he's all over the place.
• 10:05
  Matt: Uh let's find some Oh, hold on.
• 10:07
  Matt: We gotta talk about what's listed as his birthplace.
• 10:10
  Matt: Oh what?
• 10:11
  Matt: What should I say his birthplaces?
• 10:13
  Matt: Go on.
• 10:14
  Matt: The various claimed birthplaces of Paul Bunyan are Bem-Bemidge, Minnesota, Ackley, Minnesota, Brainerd, Minnesota, Bangor, Maine, Eau Claire, Wisconsin, Ascata, Michigan, Osinki, Michigan.
• 10:30
  Matt: As I'm doing this, I'm realizing this is not interesting.
• 10:33
  Eric: But I will I will interject with this, Matthew, from uh Lancaster County.
• 10:38
  Eric: It's not Bangor, Maine, it's Bangor, Main.
• 10:42
  Eric: Alright.
• 10:42
  Eric: I I see I see what you did there.
• 10:46
  Eric: I could I saw like the reflex.
• 10:50
  Eric: Because you know it's Lancaster.
• 10:51
  Eric: I know it's Lancaster.
• 10:54
  Eric: I taught you how to say that.
• 10:56
  Eric: I correct people now on your behalf.
• 10:58
  Eric: Yeah, you, yes, you do.
• 11:00
  Eric: I well actually that shit so hard.
• 11:03
  Matt: Okay, so the point is he's got a lot of shit going on for him, Paul Bunyan.
• 11:10
  Eric: Giant list of places he was born.
• 11:12
  Eric: Clarifier.
• 11:14
  Eric: Is it just different places they claimed he was born, or is he so big?
• 11:18
  Eric: Various claimed.
• 11:20
  Eric: Okay, damn.
• 11:21
  Eric: I like the fact that like when he came out, he just laid across several state lines.
• 11:25
  Matt: And the other thing, so just so this doesn't go into a complete biography of Paul Bunyan, the other part of the question, is Paul Bunyan a kaiju?
• 11:33
  Matt: Yep.
• 11:33
  Matt: Kaiju, of course, uh is Japanese that literally translates to strange beast.
• 11:40
  Matt: Uh, but it is largely a genre of films, television, other media featuring Japanese.
• 11:46
  Eric: It originated in in Japanese like pulp films.
• 11:51
  Matt: And and I will say also, according to Wikipedia uh sources, the 1954 film Godzilla is commonly regarded as the first kaiju film.
• 12:00
  Matt: So that's what we're talking about.
• 12:01
  Matt: We're talking about Godzilla, we're talking about King Kong, we're talking about every villain in the Power Rangers.
• 12:08
  Eric: Yes, yes, yes, when they're when Rita Repulsa makes them huge.
• 12:12
  Eric: Yes.
• 12:13
  Matt: Those are child kaijus.
• 12:16
  Matt: Yes, that's what we're talking about.
• 12:17
  Matt: So Paul Bunyan and Babe the big blue ox.
• 12:20
  Matt: Now, Ba Babe the Big Blue Ox is a strange creature.
• 12:24
  Eric: Yeah, I think Babe automatically qualifies as a kaiju.
• 12:28
  Eric: A hundred percent.
• 12:29
  Eric: Because it it's got all the classic things.
• 12:31
  Eric: It is like a normal animal that is now huge with a weird twist on it.
• 12:35
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 12:37
  Matt: And Paul Bunyan, on the other hand, is a human.
• 12:41
  Matt: Now, here's the other wild thing.
• 12:43
  Eric: Or at the very least, is a giant.
• 12:45
  Eric: Giant human.
• 12:46
  Eric: There are a couple things I want to explore, but I'd be remiss if there's actually a classification for what Paul Bunyan is.
• 12:55
  Eric: So we have Kaiju for strange beast, then there's Kai Jin for strange person.
• 13:02
  Eric: So this refers to wild human beings or humanoid-like creatures.
• 13:08
  Eric: But then the question becomes so that like classification-wise, he could be that, but the question is he considered that?
• 13:15
  Eric: Because he's definitely strange, but Kaiju, I I think I'm not like outside I don't think I'm I'm saying anything wild here when I say kaiju are typically depicted as destructive, like maybe not, they don't necessarily have to be evil, because like I don't think King Kong is evil.
• 13:34
  Eric: I don't think Godzilla is evil, I think they're just giant monsters.
• 13:38
  Matt: I don't think King.
• 13:39
  Matt: Well, now this is an interesting conversation giving the recent release of Kong versus Godzilla, or Godzilla vs.
• 13:45
  Matt: Kong.
• 13:45
  Matt: I haven't seen it either.
• 13:46
  Matt: But you don't think there's some inherent evil in Godzilla?
• 13:51
  Matt: The fire breathing city destroying.
• 13:54
  Matt: Okay.
• 13:55
  Matt: How many times does Tokyo need to suffer?
• 13:58
  Eric: All right.
• 13:59
  Eric: Well, alright.
• 14:01
  Eric: So, man, so this entire thing, Godzilla is like a masterclass in the hubris of mankind.
• 14:08
  Eric: We do atomic bomb tests, we do we we dump radioactive sludge in the ocean, and then somehow our minds are fucking blown when a giant angry radioactive reptile comes out of the ocean and starts stomping on shit.
• 14:24
  Matt: Are you trying to suggest that Godzilla is an American creation?
• 14:29
  Eric: No, but I think like, isn't that its back isn't that Godzilla's backstory?
• 14:32
  Eric: Like, he's like Godzilla's the result of like nuclear testing or something.
• 14:36
  Matt: I don't think so.
• 14:37
  Matt: He just kinda came out of the ocean one day.
• 14:39
  Eric: He just came out of the ocean.
• 14:42
  Eric: Okay.
• 14:42
  Matt: He's like a dinosaur situation.
• 14:45
  Eric: Oh my god.
• 14:47
  Eric: Alright.
• 14:47
  Eric: No, oh blah, blah.
• 14:49
  Eric: Hold on.
• 14:49
  Matt: Hold on.
• 14:50
  Matt: He's like a dinosaur.
• 14:51
  Matt: He's not like a what because it's not like he just became big.
• 14:55
  Matt: He's not like a m miniature Godzilla's exist.
• 15:00
  Matt: It's not some giant iguana that came out of the ocean.
• 15:03
  Matt: Breathing fire.
• 15:07
  Matt: Okay, well, so where do you think came from?
• 15:12
  Matt: I mean we're not here to we're not here to talk about Godzilla.
• 15:15
  Matt: Alright.
• 15:15
  Matt: I'm just saying.
• 15:17
  Matt: He came out of the ocean.
• 15:18
  Matt: What are you talking about?
• 15:19
  Matt: He came out of the ocean?
• 15:21
  Matt: He did, didn't he?
• 15:22
  Matt: I mean, yeah, he did, but like get it.
• 15:26
  Matt: What?
• 15:26
  Matt: What?
• 15:27
  Matt: What are you trying to huff and puff at me about?
• 15:30
  Matt: The man, the the the kaiju, walked his ass out of the ocean.
• 15:34
  Matt: That's where he came from.
• 15:35
  Matt: It's not like he came from Toronto.
• 15:37
  Matt: Like, what what what are you talking about?
• 15:41
  Eric: I always assumed he was a nuclear radio, like mutant.
• 15:44
  Eric: And that would explain.
• 15:46
  Eric: He very well could be.
• 15:47
  Eric: A growth spurt of that magnitude would make anyone stomp the fuck out of the nearest thing.
• 15:52
  Matt: Listen, he very well could be, but I don't know that that's canon.
• 15:55
  Matt: And I'm not looking it up right now.
• 15:57
  Eric: Godzilla, I think, is evil in the way the white whale, Moby Dick, is evil.
• 16:03
  Eric: In that it's not evil, it's just an animal that wrecks shit.
• 16:07
  Matt: Uh okay.
• 16:08
  Matt: I I I hear what you're saying there.
• 16:10
  Matt: Yeah.
• 16:12
  Matt: You're saying the Godzilla is just trying to live his Godzilla life.
• 16:15
  Matt: Yeah, he's just trying to be his best self.
• 16:17
  Matt: And unfortunately came upon a city of much smaller living creatures.
• 16:22
  Matt: Correct.
• 16:23
  Matt: He didn't understand what was happening, so he just killed them all.
• 16:25
  Eric: Yeah.
• 16:26
  Eric: All he knows is they're they're throwing little stingy things at him, like the tanks.
• 16:29
  Eric: And he's got no, you don't like that.
• 16:31
  Eric: So Paul Bunyan.
• 16:32
  Eric: So circling back to Paul Bunyan.
• 16:34
  Eric: Uh so he's not like that.
• 16:36
  Eric: No, he's not.
• 16:37
  Eric: There's no wanton destruction or anything else.
• 16:40
  Eric: He's a kindly, gentle giant.
• 16:43
  Eric: Oh, yes.
• 16:44
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 16:45
  Matt: He has those pancakes.
• 16:46
  Eric: He is as yeah, like I feel like the most destructive thing that Paul Bunyan does is like to the local economy.
• 16:52
  Eric: When you like, because feeding that man has to be fucking nuts.
• 16:56
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 16:57
  Matt: The restaurant that makes his pancakes has got to only make those pancakes.
• 17:02
  Eric: Yeah.
• 17:03
  Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 17:04
  Matt: Like, that's all they do.
• 17:05
  Matt: Every day.
• 17:06
  Matt: Every day.
• 17:07
  Matt: And I feel like we're getting into a dark.
• 17:09
  Matt: Oh, we could go into a deep hole in the logistics of Paul Bunyan.
• 17:20
  Matt: Yes.
• 17:21
  Matt: Uh while you're at it.
• 17:23
  Eric: But yeah, but but much like much but much like uh Heracles of Greek myth, uh, Paul Bunyan has his famous labors.
• 17:33
  Eric: He like I remember there's one where he straightens out an entire river.
• 17:37
  Eric: Oh.
• 17:37
  Eric: Just by picking it up and like shaking it like a relic.
• 17:40
  Eric: Classic Bunyan.
• 17:41
  Eric: Doing like looty-tune shit to the geography of our country.
• 17:45
  Matt: Yeah.
• 17:46
  Matt: He's just like whacking down a forest with a swing situation.
• 17:49
  Matt: Babe stomping lakes everywhere.
• 17:52
  Matt: What is Babe doing this whole time?
• 17:54
  Eric: So actually, like everything Is that Babe's role?
• 17:57
  Matt: Babe just makes rivers and shit.
• 17:59
  Eric: Yeah, I don't know.
• 18:00
  Eric: Or oh, I think like for the river thing, he tied like a yoke to Babe and like wrote and like had Babe pull.
• 18:08
  Eric: So like everything I'm sensing so far, Babe's doing the heavy lifting.
• 18:13
  Matt: If if Paul and Babe straightened out America's rivers, they did a shit job.
• 18:19
  Matt: They did a fucking terrible job.
• 18:20
  Matt: Also, who wants a straight river?
• 18:22
  Matt: Let those rivers ramble.
• 18:24
  Matt: Let those rivers ramble, babe.
• 18:25
  SPEAKER_04: Let them ramble down on the big muddy.
• 18:28
  Eric: Um now the more I think about Paul Bunyan, the angrier I'm getting.
• 18:34
  Eric: Because, well, not angry, but think of it this way.
• 18:37
  Eric: Angry at Paul Bunyan?
• 18:38
  Eric: Angry at Paul Bunyan, because A, fucking Babe's doing all the work.
• 18:42
  Eric: Ah, it does seem like that, doesn't it?
• 18:43
  Eric: Paul's good at cutting down trees, but again, don't really think we should be uh patting this guy on the back for deforestation.
• 18:49
  Eric: You know what I mean?
• 18:50
  Eric: Yeah, like he might have good intentions, but uh.
• 18:53
  Eric: Yeah.
• 18:53
  Eric: Uh also it sounds like really the only difference between Babe and Paul Bunyan and like Godzilla is that this is like controlled destruction.
• 19:04
  Eric: We're like grossly we're stomping lakes.
• 19:07
  Eric: Oh, but we want those lakes.
• 19:08
  Eric: All right, this is cool.
• 19:09
  Eric: Yeah, it's kind of like a symbiotic relationship.
• 19:12
  Matt: Yeah, we're we're pleased with the results, as opposed to we are we are we are but the bird living on the back of this wild bison.
• 19:21
  Matt: Yeah.
• 19:22
  Matt: Oh man, babe's a hero.
• 19:24
  Matt: Babe's a baby.
• 19:25
  Matt: Babe is the real hero here, is what I'm saying.
• 19:28
  Eric: Paul Bunyan just shows the fuck up.
• 19:30
  Eric: He's just babe's like owner and gets paid in pancakes.
• 19:35
  Matt: Which, to be honest, like, uh wouldn't we have a better economy if we were rewarded for our labors with pancakes?
• 19:42
  Matt: Pancake-based economy, sign me the fuck up.
• 19:44
  Matt: Yeah, yes, please.
• 19:46
  Matt: And think of the trade with Canada that's gonna go up.
• 19:49
  Eric: Gotta get that syrup.
• 19:51
  Eric: So where I'm kind of landing with this is that Paul Bunyan isn't a kaiju.
• 19:56
  Eric: He's technically a kaijin.
• 19:57
  Eric: Babe is a kaiju, but more importantly, Paul Bunyan's just kind of a dick.
• 20:02
  Matt: Well, uh, I feel a little bit bad about saying that about Paul Bunyan.
• 20:08
  Matt: He's a person I've grown up respecting.
• 20:11
  Eric: Who I've seen many statues of on 95.
• 20:16
  Matt: Whom I've seen many statues of countrywide.
• 20:20
  Matt: Uh, yeah, I think he's uh unintentionally a bit of an asshole, yeah.
• 20:26
  Eric: I I will give him that.
• 20:27
  Eric: I think it's completely unintentional.
• 20:29
  Eric: Like he can't help that he's big, giant.
• 20:31
  Eric: He can't help that he's big, no more than you can.
• 20:33
  Matt: Makes me mad that Babe didn't get more recognition.
• 20:36
  Matt: I do think Babe deserves more recognition than just being a side character.
• 20:40
  Matt: We need the standalone film for Babe, the big blue ox.
• 20:44
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 20:46
  Eric: Could you could you imagine like homeward bound, but it's babe?
• 20:50
  Eric: Okay, well, uh, I can imagine that, but I don't like to think much about homeward bound because it's very emotional.
• 20:57
  Eric: Where I I am still in that mud pit.
• 20:59
  Matt: No, don't no! He got out, he made it out.
• 21:03
  Matt: I can't believe you would plague our listeners by referencing Shadow being stuck in the mud.
• 21:09
  Eric: I I I cannot watch that scene to this day without crying.
• 21:13
  Eric: Cannot watch that scene to this day without crying.
• 21:15
  Matt: Of course you can't.
• 21:16
  Matt: Because I'm human.
• 21:17
  Matt: Because you're human watching dogs cope with mortality.
• 21:21
  Eric: I know!
• 21:22
  Matt: He gets out.
• 21:23
  Matt: He gets out and goes on to two sequels.
• 21:28
  Matt: Just to remember, just to remember that.
• 21:31
  Matt: Just to remember.
• 21:32
  Matt: Only only one of them's worth it.
• 21:35
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 21:36
  Matt: Anyway.
• 21:37
  Matt: So Well, you truly, in all senses of the word at Wiswell, you didn't ask.
• 21:44
  Eric: But we answered specifically.
• 21:46
  Eric: Bonus question, Matt, who do you think would win?
• 21:48
  Eric: Paul Bunyan or the Megazord?
• 21:50
  Eric: Megazord.
• 21:51
  Matt: I mean, Megazord's got weapons beyond just an axe.
• 21:54
  Matt: Yeah, Paul's got babe.
• 21:56
  Matt: Paul does have babe.
• 21:57
  Matt: Paul's got babe.
• 21:58
  Matt: I think the question is who wins?
• 22:00
  Matt: Megazord or Babe.
• 22:02
  Matt: Or Babe, yeah.
• 22:03
  Matt: In which case it's Babe.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_00: Babe is plowing.
• 22:06
  Eric: I don't even think the Rangers could bring themselves to harm Babe.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_00: It's just a big ox.
• 22:09
  Matt: Come on, babe.
• 22:13
  Matt: That'd be like that'd be like Harmon Clifford.
• 22:16
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 22:17
  Matt: Could you imagine he was in that mud pit?
• 22:20
  Matt: No.
• 22:21
  Matt: And that's how we got New Orleans.
• 22:25
  Matt: That's how we got New Orleans.
• 22:27
  Matt: Oh my god.
• 22:29
  Eric: The mud pit for Clifford the Big Red Dow.
• 22:31
  Matt: Uh, bring us your Clifford the Big Red Dog-related questions as well.
• 22:34
  Eric: This is now a babe Clifford the Big Red Dog fan cast.
• 22:38
  Eric: Yes.
• 22:38
  Eric: Welcome.
• 22:39
  Matt: Yes, it is.
• 22:40
  Matt: So uh we do have another fictional animal on our list, but before we get to that, let's talk about um uh another question submitted by the prolific question submitter, Alex Kafarakis.
• 22:53
  Matt: Uh I was wondering if we were gonna get it this time.
• 22:58
  Matt: I don't know that anyone understands.
• 23:00
  Matt: They don't need to.
• 23:01
  Matt: That's just for me and calf.
• 23:02
  Matt: All right then.
• 23:03
  Matt: Anyway, uh let's talk about out at Alex Kafarakis's question this episode, which is of course, the Fedora.
• 23:11
  Matt: Tainted Forever?
• 23:13
  Eric: Oh, well, I I Matt, I hate to well actually our listeners.
• 23:20
  Eric: But I'm gonna.
• 23:21
  Eric: Here he goes.
• 23:22
  Eric: So what we commonly refer to as a fedora.
• 23:27
  Eric: Uh-huh.
• 23:28
  Eric: Is not a fedora.
• 23:30
  Eric: What we commonly refer to as a fedora icon of hipsters and tryhards everywhere is actually a trilby hat.
• 23:41
  Eric: A fedora is a wide-brimmed hat.
• 23:45
  Eric: You know, uh, goddamn Indiana Jones wears a fedora.
• 23:49
  Matt: Yeah.
• 23:50
  Matt: It is not a cowboy hat, he wears a fedora.
• 23:53
  Matt: Humphrey Bogart's character in Sri Blanca has a fedora.
• 23:57
  Matt: That's probably one of the most famous traditional fedoras.
• 24:00
  Eric: Uh, if you'll remember uh an equally revered film, The Mask, starring Sir Jim Carrey, his he was wearing a fedora with his fits.
• 24:09
  Eric: He does.
• 24:10
  Eric: Those are fedoras.
• 24:11
  Matt: Is maybe I'm wrong, but is Dick Tracy wearing a fedora?
• 24:15
  Matt: Yes.
• 24:16
  Eric: I believe he's wearing a fedora.
• 24:18
  Eric: So, but that being said, the question still stands because fedoras are now associated with trilby hats.
• 24:26
  Matt: Yes.
• 24:26
  Matt: I I I think the name Fedora.
• 24:30
  Matt: Oh, it could very well be tainted forever.
• 24:34
  Eric: It it is.
• 24:34
  Eric: It's kind of like the word literally, like we used it to mean figuratively so much that now the definition includes literally meaning figuratively.
• 24:42
  Eric: So now trilby hats are synonymous with fedoras.
• 24:45
  Eric: Tainted, it it is, let's be clear, it is tainted.
• 24:48
  Eric: Uh yeah.
• 24:50
  Eric: Is it tainted forever?
• 24:52
  Eric: Can there Matt?
• 24:54
  Eric: Can we facilitate?
• 24:56
  Eric: Matt, is this our holy charge?
• 24:58
  Eric: Can we create the opening that the Trilby hat need to make a triumphant comeback?
• 25:07
  Eric: Right now it's an underdog.
• 25:08
  Eric: You and I?
• 25:09
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:11
  Eric: How can we change the world?
• 25:12
  Eric: It it like I'm trying to imagine the situation in which the trilby is the hero that Gotham City needs.
• 25:19
  Matt: The Trilby, I don't know, is I think it could become untainted simply by going out of fashion again.
• 25:27
  Matt: But then one day I mean, this is how it came back to begin with, right?
• 25:30
  Matt: Like hipsters, as you said, started wearing a trilby and suddenly it's everywhere.
• 25:34
  Matt: Somebody called it a fedora, uh, probably on a podcast, and now here we are, with everyone referring to it as a fedora unnecessarily and undeservingly.
• 25:45
  Eric: Yeah.
• 25:45
  Eric: And I think you're you're on to something you it it is tainted, and I think you're right when you say it needs to like go away, because it's not gone.
• 25:54
  Eric: It is not gone.
• 25:55
  Eric: Clinging.
• 25:56
  Eric: As long as there are ska bands, there will be trilbys.
• 25:59
  Matt: And but here's the thing: like, the the trilby, I feel like had its own deserving place in American fashion and fashion in general.
• 26:11
  Matt: There was a time when we loved the trilby.
• 26:13
  Matt: But now people are just wearing trilbys with t-shirts and and surfer shorts.
• 26:19
  Eric: Or that we've we're caught in a feedback loop because we're wearing trilbies ironically because they're trilbys.
• 26:26
  Eric: Yes, yes.
• 26:27
  Matt: And calling them fedoras to you.
• 26:29
  Matt: And calling them fedor.
• 26:30
  Matt: Maybe that's whereas this the fedora, maybe what needs to happen is the true fedora needs to rise again.
• 26:37
  Matt: The return of the king.
• 26:39
  Matt: What I need to do is I need to take this long peacoat that I have behind me.
• 26:43
  Matt: Get myself a fedora.
• 26:45
  Matt: Yes.
• 26:46
  Matt: And get out into the world.
• 26:47
  Matt: Now, I don't think fedora looks cool with a peacoat, does it?
• 26:49
  Matt: No.
• 26:50
  Matt: No, fedora goes with a peacoat.
• 26:51
  Eric: Fedora goes with a peacoat.
• 26:53
  Matt: It goes more with like a I'm picturing it like a rain jacket, but I'm also now picturing myself as Humphrey Bogart, which is a miscasting.
• 27:02
  Matt: I don't think so.
• 27:03
  Matt: Ah okay.
• 27:05
  Matt: He is looking for you Trilby.
• 27:07
  Eric: He is looking for you trilby.
• 27:08
  Eric: Trilby, I also just want to talk about the word Trilby.
• 27:12
  Eric: Well like Trilby.
• 27:14
  Eric: Yeah, it sounds like uh a fantasy race on like Star Trek.
• 27:18
  Eric: It does, it's not a great word.
• 27:20
  Eric: Not a good word, not a fun word.
• 27:22
  Eric: And that's probably why they're called fedoras, because some asshole was like, I'm wearing a trilby, and they threw up in their mouth a little bit.
• 27:28
  Matt: Yeah, and they're like, what if I just called it a fedora?
• 27:31
  Matt: Now I sound like some sort of mysterious exotic man.
• 27:36
  Matt: Yeah, no one says, fetch me my trilby.
• 27:40
  Matt: No one says, fetch me my fedora.
• 27:42
  Matt: Fetch up me trilby.
• 27:43
  Matt: I'm hitting the town.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_03: Lo, the Lord approaches and without his trilby upon his head.
• 27:52
  Matt: Can I tell you something?
• 27:54
  Matt: Untrilby related, but very butler related.
• 27:58
  Matt: Yes, always.
• 28:01
  Matt: There was a time when I wanted you know how when you're a kid, you go through like a lot of things that you wanted to be when you grew up.
• 28:09
  Matt: Oh yes.
• 28:10
  Matt: And maybe you're ahead of me on this.
• 28:12
  Matt: Where what were some things that you dreamt uh you could be when when you still had possibilities in your life?
• 28:18
  Eric: Oh, when I still had the the sky was still the limit.
• 28:21
  Eric: When the sky was still blue.
• 28:23
  Eric: I wanted to, I I wanted to create video games.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-huh.
• 28:28
  Eric: Video game designer.
• 28:29
  Eric: I feel like that's something every fucking 10-year-old did.
• 28:32
  Matt: I still tell myself somewhere I can make that career switch when I cannot.
• 28:37
  Eric: No.
• 28:37
  Eric: I wanted to be a world-class chef.
• 28:40
  Eric: Um what else did I want to be?
• 28:42
  Eric: At one time I did consider becoming a vigilante crime fighter.
• 28:47
  Eric: Who among us?
• 28:48
  Eric: You did not.
• 28:49
  Matt: What you got for me?
• 28:50
  Matt: Well, so the first job I the first like oh, here's what I want to be when I grow up was an author.
• 28:57
  Matt: Which I haven't necessarily gotten into.
• 28:59
  Matt: No, you're a phenomenal writer.
• 29:00
  Matt: I am still a writer.
• 29:01
  Matt: The as our our good mutual friend Steve Baroga used to say all the time, I feel like I got a book in me, at least, at least.
• 29:09
  Matt: Uh but but that being said, that so that was like the first, like, this is what I'm gonna be when I grew up.
• 29:14
  Matt: But there were lots of daydreams, and one of them was how cool would it be to be a butler?
• 29:21
  Matt: You know, you know, like a good one, you know what I'm talking about?
• 29:25
  Matt: An Alfred Pennyworth level.
• 29:27
  Matt: Now, I'm not saying I watched the Batman the Animated series now on HBO Max, uh, and was like, ooh, fuck Batman, I want to be Alfred.
• 29:36
  Matt: But I was equally like, ah, how cool would it be to be Batman?
• 29:40
  Matt: And how cool would it be to be Alfred?
• 29:42
  Eric: See, how much wilder would Batman the series have been if Alfred was Batman and like the whole cut like that he you are a mild-mannered, not mild-mannered, you are a resplendent butler, and by night you're fucking fighting crime.
• 30:00
  Matt: And like on a related note, I also um thought about like being like owning a hotel.
• 30:07
  Matt: I don't know why.
• 30:08
  Matt: I don't know where these dreams came from.
• 30:10
  Matt: Don't know where they went.
• 30:10
  Matt: Probably so you could be the butler.
• 30:12
  Matt: Yeah, I mean, I feel like when and like I think like hearing about like the White House butlers sort of like re-ignited my interest in the fashion.
• 30:22
  Eric: Like legit butlers are like I know they're not rich, otherwise they wouldn't be butlers, but like they make a ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-bank.
• 30:32
  Matt: Good money if you're if you can butle.
• 30:35
  Matt: Yeah.
• 30:36
  Matt: If you're a good if you are good with the art of buttling.
• 30:39
  Eric: Oh, if you bottle with the best of them, you yeah, yeah, yeah, you are you are well taken care of.
• 30:45
  Eric: Yeah, obviously.
• 30:47
  Eric: Yeah, yeah.
• 30:47
  Eric: Like Because if you're a butler, you are literally head like you are head of the kitchen, you're head of the like the you you are the top, you are the alpha.
• 30:57
  Matt: You're the health household, baby.
• 30:59
  Matt: Yeah.
• 31:00
  Matt: The and like, you know, the the the master of the house isn't coming to the staff necessarily.
• 31:08
  Matt: You know, they don't need to associate with the staff because they associate with Matt the Butler.
• 31:13
  Matt: Although I'd have to be Matthew.
• 31:16
  SPEAKER_00: Matthew.
• 31:16
  Eric: And if I I was watching this really good documentary about butlers, it was called Downton Abbey, and I was just about to be like, oh fuck, I can't wait to watch this shit.
• 31:27
  Eric: I was like, you bust down the pen of paper, like, all right, well, man.
• 31:31
  Eric: Okay.
• 31:32
  Eric: No, but yeah, if you're a butler, not only are you the head of the household, but you get to deal with fun stuff all the time, like being embroiled in sex scandals and murders.
• 31:41
  Eric: It's a kick-ass job.
• 31:44
  Eric: You have to hide the illegitimate sons.
• 31:47
  Eric: It's a good time.
• 31:49
  Matt: Listen, there are those are more exciting work challenges than many people face.
• 31:55
  Matt: Oh my god, yeah.
• 31:56
  Eric: Put that into rally.
• 32:00
  Eric: That's just that one goes out to all my agile kids.
• 32:04
  Matt: Okay.
• 32:05
  Matt: Well, let me um I let me just say I think we've lost the plot of this question.
• 32:10
  Matt: Fedora's slightly back to Fedora's.
• 32:13
  Eric: So it's it's it's tainted.
• 32:15
  Eric: It's not forever tainted.
• 32:17
  Eric: I think it can come back.
• 32:18
  Eric: I agree with Matt.
• 32:19
  Eric: It needs to die first, though.
• 32:20
  Eric: We need to give it a nice end of the I want someone, I want to, we need to bury it so hard that like one day someone has to like like pull out a unearthed like a fossil.
• 32:31
  Eric: Yeah.
• 32:31
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, what's it?
• 32:33
  Eric: And like blow the archaeology.
• 32:35
  Eric: Yes.
• 32:35
  Eric: Yes.
• 32:36
  Eric: Yes.
• 32:36
  Eric: With their little brush.
• 32:38
  Eric: They find a fucking ancient crate.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_03: They're like, what was JC Penny?
• 32:41
  Matt: Uh this is in the future when everyone is now wearing fedors.
• 32:44
  Matt: I just to clarify my own.
• 32:46
  Eric: Are we gonna have like, is our equivalent of the Titanic film gonna be someone discover rediscovering Trilby's?
• 32:52
  Eric: Uh no.
• 32:54
  Matt: Uh well, yes.
• 32:56
  Matt: Maybe, maybe, maybe we're describing the opening scene of a Titanic-esque moment.
• 33:01
  Eric: Or like several centuries from now, are they just gonna assume everyone in our era like wore like like kind of how we assume everyone in the 1920s wore zootsuits and for ours is Jinko jeans and trilbies?
• 33:13
  Matt: Yes, this is what this is what people wore in the early 21st century.
• 33:18
  Matt: Uh okay.
• 33:20
  Matt: Well, I think there you have it.
• 33:22
  Matt: They ultimately it is tainted, but not forever.
• 33:26
  Matt: But it but in order to come back, we need to first kill it all.
• 33:30
  Eric: We need we need to we need to mercy kill it so it can rise again from the ashes.
• 33:34
  Matt: Yes, yes.
• 33:35
  Matt: Well, uh, Alex Cavarakis, you've done it again.
• 33:38
  Matt: Thank you for the question.
• 33:39
  Matt: Uh and Eric, should we should we continue on?
• 33:43
  Matt: What what do we got next?
• 33:44
  Eric: So, our our our we're gonna wrap this up.
• 33:48
  Eric: Our nice little tasty tasty uh sandwich here with our weird creatures and our fedora question.
• 33:55
  Eric: How does cat dog reproduce?
• 33:59
  Eric: Also from a man, Alex Kafarakis.
• 34:02
  Matt: Um definitely didn't talk about that.
• 34:04
  Matt: It was two Kaffarakis questions.
• 34:07
  Eric: Can we address the Kafarakis in the room?
• 34:10
  Eric: Oh man.
• 34:11
  Eric: A tip of our a tip of our trilbies to Alex Kafarakis for such a good one.
• 34:14
  Matt: You know, and let me just say, if you want to compete with Alex Kafarakis for probably I think at this point he is the most prolific question submitter.
• 34:25
  Matt: Maybe we should have an award.
• 34:26
  Matt: We should have an award.
• 34:29
  Matt: Come come our one year anniversary.
• 34:32
  Matt: The person who submitted the most, that's something I'm gonna have to track.
• 34:38
  Matt: As they're like, All right, glad I'm the editor and not social media.
• 34:42
  Matt: Let's or or questions uh or most questions on the show, perhaps.
• 34:47
  Matt: Oh, most questions accepted?
• 34:49
  Matt: Accepted questions?
• 34:50
  Matt: Because they must be, you know, we we have a running list, but you know, we also need it needs to meet a certain quality.
• 34:58
  Matt: Right now, uh yeah, we we have we have standards.
• 35:03
  Matt: We have them.
• 35:04
  Matt: I yeah, I'm not a hundred percent sure on what they all are.
• 35:06
  Matt: Oh no, there's a bar.
• 35:08
  Matt: But uh but we we should probably talk about we should have a standard meeting after this, maybe.
• 35:13
  Matt: That that is of course of no interest to the listener.
• 35:17
  Matt: So the question.
• 35:18
  Matt: The question.
• 35:19
  Matt: How does cat dog reproduce?
• 35:22
  Matt: Fascinating question.
• 35:24
  Matt: I I watched cat dog quite a bit.
• 35:26
  Eric: Yes, MIJ.
• 35:27
  Matt: Oh yes.
• 35:28
  Matt: I don't remember seeing any reproductive.
• 35:31
  Eric: No, that is decidedly Yeah, like that is and they've addressed it.
• 35:36
  Eric: They've they like they've danced around the fact that there's no there's no PP or boop shoot.
• 35:42
  Matt: You know, that saying, how did let alone reproduce?
• 35:46
  Eric: Yeah, how do they how do they how does their digestive system work?
• 35:52
  Eric: So I know that depending on what one side eats, the other side could just kind of rout it out, but like a direct consequence of it's just like, yeah.
• 36:02
  Matt: Yes, and there is the episode where I think it's cat goes inside dog.
• 36:08
  Matt: Yes.
• 36:09
  Eric: Oh yeah, does the whole inside out thing.
• 36:11
  Matt: Yeah, like he like goes in dog's mouth to to find something, and ends up because there's of course the very interesting moment where he comes out his own mouth somehow.
• 36:23
  Matt: Yes.
• 36:24
  Matt: I think kind of like an Oroboros It's a weird thing.
• 36:28
  Matt: But you know, you get that very uh when he comes out, I remember there's that very like I I don't know how to describe it other than it's the the Rocco modern life close-up effect that they did.
• 36:38
  Eric: Yep, I know exactly what you're talking about.
• 36:40
  Matt: Yes, the like real grimy, like unattractive nastiness.
• 36:45
  Matt: Yeah, yeah.
• 36:46
  Matt: Yeah.
• 36:47
  Matt: Uh so we've only asked more questions thus far.
• 36:51
  Matt: We haven't answered anything.
• 36:53
  Eric: So how does cat dog reproduce?
• 36:54
  Eric: Well, we know it is not by traditional methods.
• 36:57
  Eric: As far as I can tell, there's no they don't kill their cat dog, they are male, but well, actually, I by all traditional I I I'm using traditional and big air quotes to mean, you know, after our social programming for the past thousand years, like by all traditional standards of like gender, like they technically don't they don't have a biological sex.
• 37:21
  Eric: That's true.
• 37:21
  Eric: They that's true, they they don't.
• 37:24
  Eric: So I am now referring to cat dog as they because that actually that actually helps on many levels.
• 37:29
  Eric: Um I think it's the only appropriate pronoun.
• 37:32
  Eric: They yeah, so and we don't And they're also they're also two people.
• 37:38
  Eric: Yeah, they are there, they're two people.
• 37:40
  Eric: I'm I'm referring referring to them in the royal they.
• 37:43
  Eric: Yeah, of course.
• 37:44
  Eric: Um there was an episode where like they they talk about cat dog's parents, and I remember they discovered that they were like adopted.
• 37:53
  Eric: Like they like everyone was so stoked to learn, like, oh, how did this work?
• 37:57
  Eric: Who were their parents?
• 37:58
  Eric: But like cat dog, their mom and dad were like a Bigfoot and a frog.
• 38:03
  Eric: Is that true?
• 38:03
  Eric: I don't remember that.
• 38:04
  Eric: That their adoptive parents were like uh like they found cat dog when they were little and like raised.
• 38:09
  Eric: That I do not remember.
• 38:10
  Eric: I don't think we ever discovered like who cat dog, like if cat dog is a is like a uh like a conjoined twin scenario, or if they are if that's what their species is.
• 38:23
  Eric: I want to operate from the assumption that cat dog is their own species.
• 38:27
  Eric: Like they're they're they're their own, like there is a society of cat dogs.
• 38:31
  Eric: That there could be another.
• 38:33
  Eric: Yeah, there could be dog dogs and cat cats.
• 38:35
  Eric: Um but damn, I want to write that fanfiction.
• 38:40
  Eric: So Dog Dogs and Cat Cats.
• 38:42
  Eric: Dog dogs and cat cats.
• 38:43
  Eric: So reproductive possibilities.
• 38:45
  Eric: Right now, I think we're just playing in the imaginarium.
• 38:47
  Eric: We're in the imaginarium of Dr.
• 38:49
  Eric: Prinassus, where we're just going where the wind takes us.
• 38:52
  Eric: Right.
• 38:53
  Eric: Uh eggs.
• 38:59
  Eric: I don't see a belly button.
• 39:00
  Eric: I don't see nipples.
• 39:02
  Eric: They could hatch from an egg, which means that they have some method of laying eggs.
• 39:05
  Eric: They can easily regurgitate things.
• 39:07
  Eric: But how easily they constantly like spit stuff out of their mouth, I think it's like their system is built to expel things easily.
• 39:15
  Eric: Of which could be horrifying cat dog egg sacks.
• 39:20
  Matt: Oh yeah.
• 39:21
  Matt: But you're right.
• 39:21
  Matt: I mean, it's really the only orifice that they have to work with.
• 39:25
  Matt: Yeah.
• 39:27
  Matt: So what how how does how does that uh how does that happen?
• 39:34
  Eric: Okay, so I'm started forming that theory, but then another one, and it's in a similar vein.
• 39:40
  Eric: We're still kind of you know what I'm saying, like how do these eggs come about?
• 39:43
  Eric: How do they get fertilized?
• 39:44
  Eric: What if, Matt, because we've never seen another cat dog.
• 39:49
  Eric: There's only one.
• 39:50
  Eric: Right.
• 39:51
  Eric: As far as we know.
• 39:52
  Eric: Matt Dog.
• 39:53
  Eric: What if what if it's like a Phoenix situation?
• 39:57
  Eric: Oh.
• 39:58
  Eric: And what if that's why they can't remember where they came from?
• 40:01
  Eric: Because and like it's kind of the Ouroboros snakes eats his own tail, like, you know, infinity, eventually they will like blah and be reborn anew as cat dog or possibly dog cat.
• 40:15
  Matt: I see, I see.
• 40:16
  Matt: Well, now the phoenix is always the same phoenix.
• 40:19
  Matt: Yeah.
• 40:20
  Matt: Being reborn, so they'd be cat dog again.
• 40:22
  Matt: It's true.
• 40:23
  Matt: It's true.
• 40:24
  Matt: But no, no, no, wait a minute.
• 40:25
  Matt: So if they are if they were if we're going with like a self-r reproducing angle.
• 40:31
  Matt: Yep.
• 40:32
  Matt: How does that work if they are like exp so they expel their own like clone essentially?
• 40:38
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah.
• 40:39
  Matt: And then they what die?
• 40:40
  Matt: Yeah, octopus style.
• 40:42
  Eric: Interesting.
• 40:44
  Eric: Cat dog is cat dog's parents.
• 40:46
  Eric: So cat dog is cat dog's parents.
• 40:48
  Eric: That's where that's where my that's where my heart is.
• 40:51
  Eric: Okay.
• 40:52
  Eric: Alright.
• 40:52
  Eric: So cat they do it all they do it themselves.
• 40:55
  Eric: Yeah, I don't know what the trigger is.
• 40:57
  Eric: I don't know if they if they can I they clearly age.
• 41:00
  Eric: Like in Phoenix's age.
• 41:02
  Eric: Um, they get old and they're like, meh, and then they just kind of burst into flame, but I don't think cat dog's gonna burst into flames.
• 41:08
  Eric: So I guess the question is like, what do they do they crawl like do they oroboros eat each other until they like implode and then form a new baby?
• 41:17
  Matt: Maybe that it like like I was referencing that episode where Cat makes a exhibition inside themselves through dog's mouth.
• 41:26
  Matt: Maybe that is how they do it.
• 41:28
  Matt: They go in there and something happens, but again, they have no nasty bits to work with.
• 41:35
  Matt: Yeah, they have no nasty bits, they have no sinful bits.
• 41:38
  Matt: So uh yeah, I'm not sure how the they m so do they go inside and expel something else within themselves?
• 41:45
  Eric: I think it's like a supernova situation.
• 41:47
  Eric: Like they they they go into each other like kind of in a feet like in a loop until they until they like kind of go it it becomes so tangled and compressed that they just they big bang themselves into a nuclear.
• 41:59
  Matt: What what is remaining is the egg of the next cat dog.
• 42:02
  Matt: Or perhaps just a small cat dog.
• 42:04
  Matt: Yes.
• 42:05
  Matt: No egg, it just the the combustion, the the the the the pressure cooker of the supernova effect as they wind themselves tighter and tighter and tighter and tighter into a little ball, boom, there's a new cat dog underneath.
• 42:22
  Eric: Correct.
• 42:23
  Matt: Huh.
• 42:23
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:24
  Matt: Well, this is a fascinating fact to have learned.
• 42:28
  Matt: Yeah.
• 42:28
  Matt: Oh, it's a fact.
• 42:29
  Matt: Oh, I mean, of course.
• 42:31
  Matt: Uh how could it not be?
• 42:32
  Matt: We said it.
• 42:34
  Matt: Well, uh, Alex Cafarakas, you've done it again.
• 42:38
  Matt: Thank you for the question.
• 42:40
  Matt: Uh, I think that just about wraps up our our thoughts on cat dog's reproductive abilities.
• 42:46
  Matt: And now, uh Eric, should we go into some weird news for a change?
• 42:52
  SPEAKER_03: My god, we should It's been a minute.
• 42:54
  Eric: It's been a minute.
• 42:55
  Eric: It has been a hot minute, my friend.
• 42:59
  Eric: Alright, so you want to go first?
• 43:00
  Eric: Yes.
• 43:01
  Eric: So, Matt, come with me.
• 43:05
  SPEAKER_03: Journey back to a simpler time.
• 43:07
  Matt: I have a feeling I know where we're headed.
• 43:09
  Matt: A better time.
• 43:10
  Matt: I think I know where this trail goes.
• 43:12
  Eric: Don't know why I'm using a southern accent for Canistoda, South Dakota.
• 43:17
  Eric: There you go.
• 43:18
  Eric: Yeah, it's the Canistoda Clipper, folks.
• 43:20
  Eric: Uh, bringing you the best of news from April 15th, 1965.
• 43:27
  Matt: I feel like we're slowly going up in the years.
• 43:30
  Matt: Is that Oh yeah, that's my plan.
• 43:33
  Matt: Okay.
• 43:34
  Eric: So today, yeah, I got two readings for you.
• 43:39
  Eric: First, I'm gonna give you, I know you've been itching for it, some second grade news.
• 43:42
  Eric: So this is from the tail light.
• 43:43
  Eric: So this is the news from the grade schoolers.
• 43:46
  Eric: This is second grade news.
• 43:48
  SPEAKER_04: Uh Christy Willand brought a stuffed alligator for us to see.
• 43:55
  SPEAKER_04: It is a small one dressed in fancy clothes.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_04: Bought it to her for her parents bought it for her from Mississippi.
• 44:07
  SPEAKER_04: Christy Bergen brought her new toy wish it for us to see.
• 44:13
  SPEAKER_04: We have all rubbed the green and yellow hair to give us good luck.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_04: Oh god.
• 44:20
  SPEAKER_04: Our big fish bowl developed a long crack.
• 44:25
  SPEAKER_04: Kevin Boner brought us a smaller bowl for our cuppies and snails.
• 44:32
  SPEAKER_04: Wendy Townsend has a birthday on April 3rd.
• 44:38
  SPEAKER_04: Douglas Deventy had one on April 5th.
• 44:42
  SPEAKER_04: And Dev and Kevin Boner's was April 3rd.
• 44:45
  SPEAKER_04: They all brought treats for the class.
• 44:49
  SPEAKER_04: Joyce Tien's and Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
• 44:51
  Matt: Hold on.
• 44:52
  Matt: They had to bring their own treats.
• 44:54
  Eric: Oh, did you not do that in elementary school?
• 44:55
  Eric: I did that.
• 44:56
  Eric: If it was your birthday, you brought cupcakes for everyone.
• 44:59
  Matt: You know, I did do that.
• 45:00
  Matt: I am realizing that that is a thing, but why is that?
• 45:03
  Matt: I don't know.
• 45:04
  Matt: It's Hobbit style.
• 45:05
  Eric: Like on your birthday, you give everyone else presents.
• 45:08
  Matt: Yeah.
• 45:08
  Matt: Alright, now get get on back to the the the the Death March journal that you you're working on.
• 45:15
  Matt: It might get a little dark.
• 45:16
  SPEAKER_04: We have a pretty yellow swallowtail butterfly that Mrs.
• 45:23
  SPEAKER_04: Kurt brought us from California.
• 45:26
  SPEAKER_04: Only a tiny part of one wing is missing.
• 45:30
  SPEAKER_04: We have put it up on our bulletin board.
• 45:34
  SPEAKER_04: Christy Welland helped us learn about the parts of our eyes by bringing two pig eyes to school for us to dissect.
• 45:45
  Eric: Thanks, Christy!
• 45:47
  SPEAKER_04: We had a little trouble with our dull knife.
• 45:50
  SPEAKER_04: Oh my god.
• 45:51
  SPEAKER_04: But we used a big pair of scissors instead.
• 45:56
  Matt: No They're just sitting there with scissors cutting an eye.
• 46:02
  SPEAKER_04: These are second graders! Second graders.
• 46:06
  SPEAKER_04: We severed the optic nerve since we cut across the eye the wrong way.
• 46:12
  SPEAKER_04: Christy found the lens in the other eye they die Christy found the lens in the other eye they dissected.
• 46:23
  Matt: So yeah, that's uh a little light reading from the caniston.
• 46:27
  Matt: Listen.
• 46:28
  Matt: Canistoticlip is in second grade.
• 46:31
  Matt: Oh man.
• 46:32
  Matt: Well, thank you, Eric.
• 46:34
  Matt: Uh okay, now this is from literally from weird news uh section of uh the Huffington Post, as a matter of fact.
• 46:43
  Matt: Ravens accused of stealing groceries from Alaska Costco customers.
• 46:48
  Matt: Anchorage, Alaska.
• 46:50
  Matt: Some Alaska Costco shoppers said they've had their groceries stolen by ravens in the store parking lot.
• 46:58
  Matt: Matt Llewellyn said he was packing his groceries into his car in the parking lot of an Anchorage Costco when Raven swooped in to steal a short rib from his cart, the Anchorage Daily News reported on Friday.
• 47:12
  Matt: A question?
• 47:12
  Matt: Yes.
• 47:13
  Matt: They stole a single short rib?
• 47:15
  Matt: Quote Was it opened?
• 47:17
  Matt: Quote, I literally took ten steps away and turned around.
• 47:20
  Matt: Two ravens came down and instantly grabbed one out of the package, ripped it off, and flew off with it, Llewellyn said.
• 47:27
  Matt: Llewellyn said that the piece of meat was about four by seven inches, ten by eighteen centimeters large, a sizable meat for a sizable bird.
• 47:38
  Matt: Quote, they know what they're doing.
• 47:41
  Matt: It's not their first time, Llewellyn said.
• 47:44
  Matt: They're very fat, so I think they've got a whole system there.
• 47:49
  Matt: They've got a whole system there.
• 47:52
  Matt: And once he got home, he noticed that one of the ravens had taken a poke at another rib, but did not rob it.
• 47:59
  Matt: I cut that meat out and started marinating it, and my wife said, That's gross.
• 48:04
  Matt: We should take it back, Llewellyn said.
• 48:06
  Matt: Costco actually took it back even after we had started marinating it and gave Mess a full refund.
• 48:14
  Eric: Did you like hate it to him in like a Ziploc bag full of sweet baby rays?
• 48:19
  Matt: So what's the explanation, Matt Llewellyn?
• 48:21
  Matt: You t listen, I took this uh rib here.
• 48:25
  Matt: It was poked by a wild raven.
• 48:29
  Matt: And I put it You know the ones from the parking lot, and I put it in to I began to marinade it, and my wife said that was gross.
• 48:38
  Matt: So I would like all my money back now.
• 48:41
  SPEAKER_03: You see, I was assailed by ravens!
• 48:43
  Eric: And they gave them the refund.
• 48:45
  Eric: That's meh the Kirkland difference.
• 48:47
  Eric: Additional raven thief That is the Kirkland difference.
• 48:52
  Matt: Additional raven thief sightings have emerged on social media.
• 48:57
  Matt: Quote, my parents were minding their business at her shop and made it home with one less steak.
• 49:04
  Matt: Kimberly Waller wrote on Facebook, The bird snatched it right out of the pack in the parking lot.
• 49:10
  Matt: Anchorage Resident Tamara Josie replied to Waller's post and referred to the ravens as calculating.
• 49:17
  Matt: She said that the ravens hovered in she said the ravens hovered her in an attempt to steal her grocery.
• 49:25
  Matt: I had two ravens, one that was on the car next to me, and he kept squawking really loud, Josie said.
• 49:32
  Matt: He would sit there on the car and stare at me, then hop next to the bed of the truck on the other side, and he kept going back and forth.
• 49:42
  Matt: The other raven was on the ground.
• 49:44
  Matt: He kept trying to pull.
• 49:45
  Matt: I had those little mini melons you have in the fresh baggies, you know the ones.
• 49:51
  Matt: He kept trying to grab the netting and pull my melons off the cart.
• 49:55
  Matt: A raven started to fly in a circle around Josie until she got them scram.
• 50:00
  Matt: He was waiting for another opportunity to grab the melons off the cart, but they never were deterred.
• 50:07
  Matt: They just stayed posted, waiting for their next opportunity to steal something out of my cart.
• 50:12
  SPEAKER_00: They are very dedicated to their mission, she added.
• 50:17
  SPEAKER_00: A manager at the Anchorage Costco declined to comment to the about the Raven Thieves.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's with them.
• 50:25
  SPEAKER_00: He's working with them working with them.
• 50:28
  SPEAKER_01: He's in on it.
• 50:30
  SPEAKER_01: He's in on the grift, baby.
• 50:32
  Eric: Oh, okay.
• 50:33
  Eric: Also, can we talk about a single raven stealing a four by seven short rib or like a one-pound steak or a melon?
• 50:42
  Eric: I would like to know how they have the measurements of the short rib.
• 50:45
  Eric: That, yeah.
• 50:46
  Matt: Is Matt Llewell's being carried away, he's like, oh, I estimate that's gotta be Pertnere.
• 50:51
  Matt: That's gotta be Pertineer 4x7.
• 50:53
  Matt: Or perhaps more horrifying, is Matt Llewellyn taking a ruler into the Costco to measure his short ribs to make sure they are uniform before they was all the same size.
• 51:06
  Matt: Well, that's what I got for you out of Anchorage.
• 51:09
  Eric: Jesus Christ.
• 51:10
  Eric: Yeah, they've they they did something to piss off those ravens.
• 51:14
  Eric: They haven't they need to offer up like sacrifice to some To the Ravens.
• 51:20
  Eric: Yeah, to the Ravens, to the Raven God.
• 51:23
  Eric: Well, and their spokesperson, the manager of the Costco at Anchorage.
• 51:27
  Matt: I mean, clearly, this uh I can only assume that the manager of this Costco is is allowing this, if not enabling it.
• 51:36
  Eric: That honestly, I'm gonna I'm gonna be real with you.
• 51:39
  Eric: That's probably why they took the ribs back, like even though they were marinated, they just wanted to hush this up real quick.
• 51:44
  Eric: They just wanted to get this under the rug.
• 51:46
  Eric: It's out now.
• 51:47
  Eric: Cat's out of the bag.
• 51:48
  Eric: We're probably not gonna hear from Anchorage, Alaska again until after it's fallen.
• 51:52
  Matt: We I hope that's not the case.
• 51:54
  Matt: But if you if you are a listener in Anchorage, Alaska, I don't think we have any, but if this is if this is the episode that makes it to you, Anchorage, please report in.
• 52:04
  Matt: Let us know you're okay.
• 52:04
  Matt: Are you okay?
• 52:05
  Matt: And are your short ribs marinated by now?
• 52:09
  Matt: Well, that was a fascinating uh edition of Weird News as always.
• 52:13
  Matt: Let me just say this we need those questions, folks.
• 52:16
  Matt: Need them.
• 52:17
  Matt: We need them desperately.
• 52:18
  Matt: So what I would like you to do is submit them to you didn't ask pod.
• 52:22
  Matt: That's the letter you didn't ask pod on Instagram or Twitter, or spell the thing out to you didn't ask for this at gmail.com.
• 52:29
  Matt: Submit the questions.
• 52:30
  Matt: Eric, what can these questions be about?
• 52:32
  Matt: Oh, baby, goddamn sky, I'm sorry.
• 52:36
  Eric: I'm sorry.
• 52:36
  Eric: Could you do me a favor and look up?
• 52:38
  Eric: Because sky's the limit.
• 52:39
  Eric: Well, I'm looking up and I'm seeing two sound panels.
• 52:42
  Eric: Beyond the closet.
• 52:43
  Eric: Beyond the sound panels in your closet.
• 52:46
  Matt: It is a production studio.
• 52:48
  Eric: There is no such thing as a stupid question.
• 52:52
  Eric: No.
• 52:53
  Matt: In fact, we we only want stupid questions.
• 52:57
  Eric: Very unfair to blame it on the question.
• 52:59
  Matt: Yes, we do need the questions.
• 53:01
  Matt: Uh, so please go ahead and submit them.
• 53:03
  Eric: Yeah.
• 53:03
  Matt: Uh we late ri lately, we have been giving uh prompts on our Instagram story.
• 53:09
  Matt: So if you need a little inspiration, uh, I've been trying to drop a new one in there every day.
• 53:14
  Matt: Yeah.
• 53:14
  Matt: Uh minus the section of time where I was moving, and I couldn't uh, as you put it in episode 13, couldn't be fucked to give a damn about that.
• 53:22
  Matt: Couldn't be fucked to give a damn.
• 53:25
  Matt: So I will continue to give you some inspiration.
• 53:28
  Matt: You will continue to provide us with some top-notch random ass questions, and we will be back in two weeks' time.
• 53:37
  Matt: Until such a time, I'm Matt Shea.
• 53:40
  Matt: I'm Eric Poach.
• 53:41
  Matt: You didn't ask.
• 53:42
  SPEAKER_03: But we doff our trilbies to the to the oh, is this my sacred the family trilby?
• 53:52
  SPEAKER_03: Verily.
• 53:53
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the tilt.
• 53:54
  SPEAKER_01: Look at the tilt just so.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_03: Mine grandfather did adorn this feather on my mouth.