Latest / Inspiring Stories / Develop Your Charisma With Milena Dalinaros

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Develop Your Charisma With Milena Dalinaros · Inspiring Stories

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Thank you for listening to de Pictures Media Radio. You rat you readything to
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me? Oh well, jus well, not a bad I just need to
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know. Soluponass is its as. Our next guest is an expert on charisma,
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and here's what she has to say about charisma. Charisma is not exclusive
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to only a select few, and it may not be misused for manipulation,
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narcissistic seduction, or destructive power plays. From now on, it will be
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our superpowered to empower ourselves in others, find meaningful relationships, inspire people whose
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lives we touch, and build strong communities. My conviction is that we are
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unique flavor of charisma within us. We just need to remove the barriers that
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block our light from shining. Access the light and nurture it. Charisma is
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learnable and equality within our character. So why don't we welcome Malna to our
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show and let's have a discussion about charisma and how we can actually allow it
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to play in our lives so that we can grow to be more empowered beings.
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Something we can welcome to the show. Molina and your your journey is
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all the way from Switzerland or was it Sweden? I'm just outside of Stockholm.
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So I'm joining from almost across the globe since here in Canada you're on
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the other side of the globe from us. So, I mean, it's
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kind of a misnomer to say to somebody's expert on charisma, but you have
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some really cool ideas about it, that we can exercise it like it's like
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it's a muscle, and that in how we should always be trying to use
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it so that we're always doing it doing things to better people, and better
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are are human race overall, right, So why don't you start with their
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defining what you think charisma is and then you know, let's see see where
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this goes, because this is going to be really cool, all right,
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sounds awesome. So first of all, thanks for calling me an expert on
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charisma. That sounds like something I would never dare to call myself a few
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years ago, and especially when I was younger. But I have made my
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mission to learn everything I possibly can about charisma, about what draws it out
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from every one of us, and what it is. And I've come across
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many different definitions of it, where a lot of them say that it's something
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innate, we are born with it, but that would mean that either you
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have it or you don't have it, and if you do, then congrats,
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but if you don't, then just deal with it. And maybe you're
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not too happy to hear something like that, because charisma is something that many
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people desire to have as one of their qualities. But there are also some
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definitions that say that it is sort of like a muscle, a set of
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skills that combined create charisma, and I am leaning more towards the second one,
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but I don't think that it's just a set of external skills, because
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I do believe that it is a radiance that comes from within us and that
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comes from some form of war that we allow to shine through. So my
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definition is that charisma is an irresistible vibe fueled by life energy and deriving from
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a connection to life itself. It is both a reflection and an enabler of
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us living in alignment with our life vision, experiencing flow in our endeavors,
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and attracting meaningful relationships. It's a mouthful, and I can't believe that I
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just said it, quoting myself on this perfectly, but yeah, that's what
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I'm working with my working definition now. While I'm writing my book. Yeah,
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that's that's right. You are a soon to be published author, right,
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Yeah, So I like where you're going with this, because it is
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it's always been my belief that we can improve ourselves. We can change our
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vibration and make and and make ourselves better people. We don't have to say
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static one line across the world, our whole entire lives that. That's a
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choice, you know. But we can choose to to to vibrate higher in
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and pick up more energy and more more of that beautiful stuff that's that's already
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there inside of us, right, yeah, absolutely, And what you say
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is so wise. Of course, we can choose to change. So rather
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I would say it like this, We will change whether we want to or
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not. Life will alter us, time will alter us. If we do
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nothing, that will still happen. But why not change in the direction that
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we ourselves prefer and choose consciously. It is within our power to make change
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into something positive in our life, and make sure that we do what we
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can what is within our power, so that change becomes something that elevates us.
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We make sure that we get wiser, and not only older, we
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gain wisdom. We make sure to become better versions of ourselves better people who
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bring more light into the world. I believe the world needs it. It
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needs us us to be the truest versions of ourselves, because each and every
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one of us has something beautiful to contribute, and the sooner we realize that
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and there to be ourselves fully and actually say our message to the world,
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no matter through which medium and using whatever tools necessary. It can be as
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a content creator of any sort, author, artist, a business leader,
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anything. But we all have something of high value where if we define what
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is our unique strength and our unique charisma, that is how we can have
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this change worse work in our advantage as well. Yeah, yeah, it
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sounds like we have similar beliefs on that, because, yeah, life is
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going to changes and hope and and I'm hoping that when I was the person
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I was twenty some years ago, I'm a little bit wiser than that person,
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and I've picked up somethings, you know, Yeah, and that I'm
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actually passing those those things onto to whoever else so that they can develop themselves
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a little more. Right. Absolutely, that is a huge honor to be
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able to be in a position where we can help others to find strength and
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belief in their own voice so that they can spread their message. That is
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that is quite profound if you think about it. M m yeah. Everybody
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does have have a message that they can be delivered, right, and how
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fantastic when it gets to there, even if it changes the life of one
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person, right, absolutely? So, Yeah, so how did you start
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writing? Because let's talk about the book for a second, because it hasn't
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been published yet but it's coming. How did you find yourself writing a book
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on this? Yeah? So I have so many pages that I need to
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make sure are sticking to a clear line of thought and are optimized for a
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reader, because now it's pages and pages and pages of everything that I want
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to write about chrisma and new ideas are being born every day, so I
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barely keep up with it, which is a good thing. I'm not complaining.
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I'm just saying that it's a process, and it's something that might take
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a couple or a few months more before I'm ready to start looking for a
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literary agent. But I also feel that once it's done. First of all,
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it's probably not going to be just one book. It's maybe going to
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be a series of two or three books. But once it's out there,
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I believe it's going to be well. For one, like the dream book
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of my earlier younger self that I wished had existed then, or that I
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wish I had known about, because it would have saved me a lot of
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wondering how to how to do different things that I didn't feel like I had
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figured out right then. But also just for people who are curious about this
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aspect of charisma, where I believe it's starting to become more and more towards
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the ethereal and spiritual direction than I had previously thought about. The scientific and
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very very science backed version of that is also there, but I'm personally feeling
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more drawn towards the vibe energy aspects of it, those that are quite hard
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to put a finger on, but that's in fact what Christmas described as It's
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like a charismatic person can walk into a room and shift the vibe of that
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entire room. And that's the aspect of it that I want to try and
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put words on. Yeah, well, I like the because the energy part
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of it is. Well, I'm going to ask you, what are you
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said five things? Maybe we can list those five things. I'm sorry you
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said there was like five energy aspects. Maybe we can list them a little
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bit. Sorry, I must have said something where I maybe pronounced it weird.
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There's no not five aspects of the energy, but that I am more
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drawn towards writing about the energetic. Well, there's there's somebody somebody else that
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that on on social media, And at one point some large magazine found an
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image of her and said that she was the ugliest person on the planet.
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Okay, And as it turned out that when social media as social media evolved,
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that she was able to take that statement, and she has turned it
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into a large following because she steps into the From what I understand, she
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steps into the room and the room lights up because she's filled with all this
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joy and this inner happiness and everything. And those energies do they help us
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become to show people more charisma? Regardless of what our shell says. But
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do those things actually help us show people more charisma than than anything else can?
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Well, first of all, I'm always feeling so sad when I hear
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about the meanness that is sometimes displayed on social media or in other situations as
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well, where somebody is made to feel smaller, or people try to silence
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this person or put them down in some way. I believe that is really
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we should be beyond that as a race as humans and more elevated than behaving
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in such a way. Just like, shame on people like that. And
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if anyone is becoming a victim to that, it's not that person's fault,
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because there is nothing wrong with that person. It is something wrong with people
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who choose to behave that way. Like even if you, for some reason
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don't agree with the statement that someone has said, or you maybe think that
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someone is not looking a certain way, which is according to your standard of
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beauty or whatever, why say that and spread negativity? That's just so unnecessary
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and that is a killer of those people's charisma. Also, might I add
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putting other people down or trying to seek out the negative, trying to keep
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people in place or shrink their lives in some way, that is totally uncharismatic,
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and that does not make an other person less charismatic, and it does
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not add to the power or charisma or any positive aspect of the people who
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behave as this perpetrators. So yeah, and when it comes to this woman,
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I think I have heard about this somewhere because I recognize this, but
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that is just so strong and so inspiring that she managed to well, first
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of all, not be put down by this, and she managed to stay
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strong, stay true to herself, and also use this to probably be able
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to help a lot of other people who might be feeling that they resonate with
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her and might be struggling with their own situation, might be wondering what others
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think about them and how others might be judging them, And showing that she
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could stay strong and stand up for herself and also turn this whole thing around,
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that must have spread so much joy and confidence and inspiration to all of
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those people who needed it the most. And that warms my heart that there
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is this resilience towards whatever might want to push these people down. Now they
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don't have to allow themselves to be pushed down. They can stand strong in
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their power and stay true to themselves their values and not change just because someone
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else thinks they should change. So really inspiring story, and thanks for sharing
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it and reminding me of it. And then your question was does this inner
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vibe, this inner energy help us to accomplish this? Essentially actually staying strong
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situations like this, Well, that boils down to how we view charisma,
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if it's just like some form of external charm to us, then I don't
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know how much power we could attribute to that. Then it would probably be
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like, oh, well, that person stayed strong because they were able to
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fake it through and put on a smile and charm their way out from this
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situation. But if we view it as something much more profound, the connection
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to our life vision, our connection to life itself and life energy, well
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then it means that we have been able to collect strength and force from something
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bigger than us basically and being able to stay strong in a hard and challenging
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situation thanks to this connection, and that is what has been able to shine
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through and guide us also in many ways through a very challenging time. So
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it depends on how you view it. Yeah, I personally, I tried
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to view it as there's all those energies that are inside of us, and
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if we if we build our lives in our changes on on those energies in
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inside of us, that it doesn't matter that international publication says something mean about
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us, it doesn't matter, and that we can we can we can still
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be that allow that beautifulness to come out, you know. Yeah, and
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a part of charisma that I'm writing about a lot also is authenticity, and
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with authenticity comes some challenges sometimes because not everyone will like us. Not everyone
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will like our authentic self. Some people will feel totally repelled by our authentic
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self, and some will just choose to not enter into our lives. But
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we all know there are haters out there who will choose to enter our lives
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just to try and make our lives miserable. So unfortunately, being authentic can
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sometimes have its price in the form of filtering out these people. And in
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the best case scenario, they filter themselves out so that we don't have to
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think about them. They just will not be an issue because we are not
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interesting to them, and that is amazing because then they will not feel that
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we have wasted their time, and neither will we have to feel that we
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have spent time with people who are not really our people, time that we
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could instead invest in ourselves or in meaningful relationship relationships with the people who are
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our people. But let's say that the trolls come, the haters come.
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Every big star has had to deal with people like this, like Taylor Swift
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or Britney Spears or whoever you pick, all of them have dared to come
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out into the world and show themselves in a powerful way, have had a
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message, have had talents that they have been willing to share with the world.
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And as much as there are fans out there who love these artists,
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there are also people who, for whatever reason, don't appreciate them, and
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sometimes they don't have anything better to do than to let these artists know that
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they are not appreciated by these people. So yeah, not saying that everyone
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reaches the status of Taylor Swift, but like if we think that peters are
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often lured out by someone's brilliance and the way that someone shines, then also
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if you start getting haters, it can be a sign that your charismas starts
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to shine brighter. And some people are just not okay with that because maybe
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they feel threatened, maybe they feel jealous, whatever reason. And the best
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thing that we can do is just keep focusing on the right people and try
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to limit to focus on these negative people. Exactly like this woman that you
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mentioned did. She focused on her followers, the people who wanted to hear
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her message and who supported her, and that's how she won. Yeah,
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I like what you said there because the the the haters are external anyway,
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right, you said everything you said about them was about them, not about
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me. And when you started saying focusing, when we started talking about our
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focus, everything was within me, right, And that's I think that's one
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one of the really cool parts about all this is when we focus on especially
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authentic self, we're focused on what's inside us, not what's inside the others
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exactly. Yeah, And Taylor Swift is a good example because hey, she
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does her own thing, right, So so how do we well, how
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are you helping people find what is inside of them so they can let let
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that that thing shine like the start supposed to be m So, if someone
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is interested in working with me as a coach, they must be prepared to
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do some deep inner work as well as being open to challenging their own comfort
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zones of applying different external tools. And I want to help my clients to
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create a positive feedback loop of the different new beliefs that will help them to
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see themselves in the most positive light as is well possible for them and start
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to behave as this highest most ideal future version of themselves right now, not
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wait until any external circumstances are in a perfect way, but start to behave
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as the version they want to be, the version who has it all right
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now, and expand each area of their life more and more from where they
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are right now, so that they feel and see and can observe growth up
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to higher and higher levels and prove to themselves that they are actually creating this,
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which will be the fact that this is what they will be doing.
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And this internal work will start with being extremely clear on what values each individual
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holds. What are their core values that determine things like their identity, their
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perception about themselves, the labels they put on, the labels that they value
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highly or at a low position, and the beliefs also that they have about
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things like charisma. To start with, like, what are their beliefs about
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charisma? Is charisma something that is possible for them to achieve? Do they
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believe this? And if not, then what blocks are there that we will
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need to work around? First? How can we start to work on removing
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these blocks in a permanent way and also in a way that the client truly
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believes in that they have truly passed this block, so that we can continue
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on to the next level. And when it comes to the comfort zone and
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making sure that we always grow our comfort zone again. We can't wait to
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start doing things that we think like, Okay, this is what charismatic people
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do. We can't wait doing this until some form of magical alignment happens when
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everything's perfect, and that's when we are in the right place to be or
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become charismatic. No, we need to start doing it now, and we
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start need to start creating these feedb feedback loops right now, because the more
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we apply both the internal and the external tools together, the more they will
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reinforce each other, and the more we will create proof to ourselves daily that
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this is working for us, and it will become first behaviors that we feel
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are very maybe challenging, some will feel more challenging than others, but in
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a while it will become more and more natural and easier, more and more
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effortless. But then we can even call some of these behaviors our habits.
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And you know, from habits we start to incorporate and internalize things into our
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belief systems and into our very personalities. So we will actually, through behavior
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and belief work and deep reflection, start altering the aspects of our personalities that
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we feel we have outgrown, that we feel we need an update of,
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not to become another person, but to let go and release all of those
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things that no longer serve us, that somehow keep us stuck in a past
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version of ourselves that we well, it's no longer us. We have already
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become someone else. Now we just need to free this person from all the
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unnecessary baggage, from all the unnecessary layers that makes our lives feel that that
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make us feel small, that makes our lives feel small, too small for
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us. So, yeah, this will obviously need to be spoke to the
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individuals that I work with because everyone will have different starting points. They will
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have completely different baggages, completely different perceptions of what they need, and different
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learning styles. So for me, it's important to make sure that this will
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be a bespoke approach to my clients because I want them to know that this
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roadmap that we will create together will be towards their life vision and their highest
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self. Very unique for everyone obviously, So so yeah, there we have
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some of the parts of that. Yeah, it sounds sounds like like a
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lot of work, and it sounds like you are the guide to to becoming
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dead, that that self, that authentic self that we should we should be
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looking for. Well, it's very important, Like with any coach an individual
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chooses to work with, the whole core of this profession is that we believe
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the answer is within the individual. So we are not supposed to provide them
31:48
with like this is what you do and this is what you are supposed to
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become. That is something that they have within themselves. What we can do
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is to make sure that they actually take the actions, or at least encourage
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them enough so that they believe that they can't take the actions. They do
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it, they feel accountable, they get more clarity about which actions will help
32:15
them the most. So it's a guiding role obviously, but it's not the
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role that points out any destination. It's a role that helps you get clear
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on your own destination and then make sure that you follow through that you are
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held accountable. Yeah that saying it's not the destinations the journey shines through here.
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Yeah, absolutely, Yes, this is supposed to be fun. This
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is not supposed to feel like like a hard boring Sure, this is something
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that is supposed to light the person up so that they feel alive and have
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and fulfilled from embarking on this journey, So that's really important to remember.
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Also, it's an adventure. Adventures are good though, right taking it is
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So how do you get people to take that first step? Well, it's
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something that they themselves need to want to do. I will never force anybody
33:29
to do something that they don't feel is right for them. So the only
33:36
people I want to work with are people who want to work with me specifically,
33:39
and who feel that what I have to offer will help them. So
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I would be a very great coach for somebody who believes that charisma is worth
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exploring, it's worth elevating, and who also shares the belief that we are
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have the seed of charisma within us. If you don't believe it, you
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are right. You know the was it hen Repoord that said it that if
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you believe you can, you're right, and also if you believe that you
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can't, you're also right. So if a person thinks that no, we
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don't all have it, it is a lot of work that will be kind
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of wasted on just trying to have this person change that first belief that.
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Yeah, So if someone is there, I believe it's better to maybe start
34:37
with and learning more about this view I have about charisma if it's at all
34:45
for them, and if not, then then we're not the ideal match.
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And if yes, then we'll see what happens. Yeah, that makes complete
34:57
sense, because when we waste I hate, I don't like the word waste,
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but when we waste our energy, then that that's what does tend to
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diminish us, right, Yeah, Well, we always have the option to
35:21
choose to view it as a learning opportunity no matter what we do, so
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it doesn't have to be a complete waste. Like even if somebody they worked
35:34
with a coach but didn't really believe in what they were doing, maybe they
35:38
aren't ready to receive the knowledge and the insights and the results just yet.
35:45
But maybe in a couple of years or so, some other new knowledge has
35:51
also been integrated into their belief systems, and maybe by then they will remember
35:55
that and think like, oh no, it makes sense now, it's worth
35:59
it anything, and it doesn't have to be a waste. But I still
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think that they have more to gain if they are already at a certain stage
36:13
when starting. So that the starting point is is someone who is looking for
36:22
next level stuff. Yeah, okay, So what are you trying to because
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because we're starting to get close in time, so I want to get to
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the global part of this. What are you trying to create in our world?
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What type of what? How do you vision the world as you're working
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with these people? Well, I believe that unfortunately a lot of people who
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have some of the greatest messages and so beautiful talents and really a lot to
37:00
offer to the world are made to feel like they have been silenced or like
37:07
their message doesn't matter, or that they're not good enough, even if they
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somehow have a clue that they are talented, but something has made them feel
37:16
small and something is making them live very small lives despite having this enormous potential.
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And simultaneously, there are people who are not completely fit for leadership,
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or they might be okay at doing what they are doing, but they get
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a lot of credit for it and a lot of power which might have been
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more suitable in the hands of other people. So there needs to be some
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form of redistribution of power, of resources of leadership and other things like this.
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And if people who actually possess these qualities that could be fit in a
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leader who wants to create a world where we respect all human life, all
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life, and want to make sure that this planet is filled with love and
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beauty and fairness. Well, if I can be able to help redistribute this,
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these resources and this power by helping these people believe more in themselves and
38:34
in their talents, and also getting the tools, the concrete tools to showcase
38:39
their worth more, I believe I could help make a difference. I think
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you will make a difference on that point right there. Thank you. If
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we can get people who who really do have the talents to be in the
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rape in the rape physicians, then we right there, we've created a more
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loving world, something with a little less of the greed for power. You
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know. Yeah. And unfortunately, people who hold beliefs about like for example,
39:22
love is what permeates all things, or who are drawn towards the more
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spiritual aspects of life, expressions and so on, many of them have somehow
39:35
somewhere internalized beliefs that power is bad, Desiring power is bad, desiring money
39:42
is bad, desiring their own fame is bad. But these beliefs are not
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present in the minds of the people who actually reach power, and especially not
39:55
in the people who misuse power. So why should some of the best people
40:00
in the world hold the beliefs that hold them back so much when if they
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could just remove these beliefs, they could actually make the world better and create
40:12
more beauty and love for all of humanity. So for the right person to
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desire power, nothing bad about it. They deserve it and they should be
40:24
in power. I totally agree with you, totally agree, and we might
40:32
see some beautiful things happen to humanity because of that, I hope. So
40:39
yeah, okay, So best ways to find and get a hold of you?
40:45
I know we're connected on Instagram, but yeah, so my Instagram for
40:52
the moment is not so active. I have one photo there from like several
40:57
years back, but I'm active on threads and there my handle is Milena dot
41:04
Dlenaros. I'm also active on x with the handle million or Daly Naros without
41:10
the dot. I will start using Instagram and TikTok in a while because I'm
41:20
gathering up some interesting video footage to be able to share with those platforms,
41:27
But for now, reach me on threads and X. Yeah. All right,
41:32
well, Welena, thank you for the work you do and thank you
41:37
for spreading your message and love. Thank you so much, Michael, and
41:45
thank you everybody for joining us and finan subscribe button wherever it may be,
41:51
and we'll see you next time. About oh so bad? So I don't
42:19
know, so I wish you from attion. So what game? This gays?
42:39
A reason to sha chow shot? We can't tru wait, she go
43:37
to she stop? I know, streams start beside some spe The show has
50:36
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