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Too Broke to Date? | Group Chat Reacts · What Tha Group Chat Say

• 0:00
  Vonnie: Welcome to What The Group Chat Say, the podcast where the group chat finally got a mic.
• 0:05
  We're three friends in our 40s talking about life, friendships, relationships, and everything we didn't see coming in this decade.
• 0:13
  I'm Vonnie, here with Keya and Drea, and on today's episode
• 0:18
  The Group Chat is reacting to dating and finances speaking of drama, I sent you guys this TikTok, and I'll play it for the people.
• 0:27
  Podcast Clip: What's the craziest reason you've broken up with someone?
• 0:30
  Finances.
• 0:30
  Not 'cause he made less, but because of how much less and how it showed.
• 0:34
  We went out to a restaurant, and we went to brunch in some city I was in, and the waitress comes up to us and she said, "Well, the owners here, they love you. They love your comedy."
• 0:41
  And I invited them to the show.
• 0:42
  They said, you know, "All we're gonna ask you to do is just pay the taxes on the bill." Yeah.
• 0:46
  And the bill gotta be like $300.
• 0:47
  So what I'm paying, $30, $40?
• 0:49
  30, oh yeah.
• 0:49
  So I s- Plus the tip.
• 0:50
  Plus the tip, maybe $100.
• 0:52
  Hundred dollars.
• 0:52
  So he gives them his card.
• 0:54
  Mind you, we didn't even add the tip yet.
• 0:56
  They just, they ring up the card and bring it back and ask if you wanna leave a tip.
• 0:58
  It's gotta be like $40.
• 0:59
  Yeah.
• 1:00
  Declines.
• 1:01
  This man a $40 decline?
• 1:02
  But listen, not only does the $40 decline, so the $40 decline and he just sitting there like this.
• 1:07
  And I'm looking at him, and the waitress is sitting there.
• 1:09
  So I just pulled out my card.
• 1:10
  I said, "Here, you can put it on this." Drives me back to my hotel in quiet.
• 1:13
  And he said, "Why you so quiet?" I said, "You didn't have $40." I said, "Not only did you not have $40, you don't have it at all, because there was no other option for, there was no other card for you to pull." And I never talked to him after that.
• 1:23
  I can't.
• 1:24
  Wow.
• 1:24
  $40, yeah, you gotta let him slide.
• 1:26
  Oh my goodness.
• 1:26
  And you didn't have it
• 1:31
  Vonnie: I wanted to talk about that just short, just because it's always posed on women not taking guys out or women being gold diggers and only caring about money.
• 1:41
  And so my thing is when I listen, like there has to be a limit.
• 1:45
  There has to be a line where saying, you have to acknowledge that some form of monetary, you know, baseline is appropriate.
• 1:58
  not teenagers here.
• 1:59
  Like, I should be able to expect a man can take me out and $40 is not going to be declined.
• 2:06
  Like, I don't think that makes me a gold digger
• 2:08
  keya: not.
• 2:09
  It does not.
• 2:10
  And when you play it so they, um, get the full picture, she had This bill would've been bigger than $40, uh, only because the manager or whoever of the establishment recognized her.
• 2:30
  So they got, um, the meal comped.
• 2:34
  They just told her to take care of, um, their waitstaff, which was cool.
• 2:42
  she's like, "Oh, good deal." So for the fact that his card got declined for $40 means had they not comped the whole meal, you had no money to even pay for it.
• 2:59
  Like, $40 is, like, the little scheme of things.
• 3:03
  The bigger scheme of things, which is what she was saying, is didn't even have money to take me out, so why ask?
• 3:12
  Or
• 3:13
  if you
• 3:13
  don't have the
• 3:14
  money,
• 3:14
  Vonnie: right
• 3:16
  keya: tell me, "Hey, I really just wanna hang out with you.
• 3:20
  Are you gonna be able to cover it?" 'Cause then give me the choice say, "Oh, okay, cool.
• 3:28
  Your company's that cool.
• 3:37
  drea: how about just make a date that's at your budget?
• 3:41
  If you had no money and you wanna kick it, you could be honest and be like, "Hey, I'd like to kick it with you.
• 3:49
  You wanna go walk a park?
• 3:51
  You wanna go hike?
• 3:52
  You wanna go," if there's a lake nearby, if there's a beach.
• 3:56
  If there's not, then sit at a park or go to a free museum.
• 4:00
  Like, get some ice cream for $5, like something.
• 4:03
  But, like, you literally went
• 4:05
  Vonnie: If it wasn't comp, like
• 4:06
  drea: with
• 4:07
  Vonnie: worse, even
• 4:08
  drea: What if she didn't have money?
• 4:09
  Vonnie: be out and you're like, "Oh, I shouldn't…" But you went or you took her out or… And besides, it's not like you were-- you'd walked up to some girl on a corner, exchanged numbers, and then she picked that spot.
• 4:21
  Like, you knew who you were going out with.
• 4:23
  Like at what, you know what I mean?
• 4:24
  You, she's, you're-- If you're not at that level, then to Keya's-- like plan something else then.
• 4:34
  she
• 4:36
  drea: Then he probably assumed since she
• 4:38
  Vonnie: you're a grown man.
• 4:39
  drea: it,
• 4:39
  Vonnie: she wasn't
• 4:40
  drea: she got it
• 4:41
  Vonnie: my first boyfriend when I was 17," or whatnot.
• 4:43
  Like you're-- I can expect a grown man like, yeah, you know.
• 4:47
  And Keya's being nice, like give me the option.
• 4:49
  The option would be no.
• 4:50
  The option would be like, "You know what? No." Because if you can't pay for a first date, like at this age, I'm not in for that level of struggle,
• 4:59
  and I'm not paying for everything.
• 5:01
  keya: all, but that's just, you know what I'm saying?
• 5:03
  Like, the women who are like, "Oh, I could have." But the thing is, is like
• 5:09
  Just give me the
• 5:10
  But
• 5:11
  Vonnie: Yep.
• 5:12
  keya: like,
• 5:13
  Vonnie: Give me
• 5:14
  keya: she said in the clip, like, okay, cards decline all the time for whatever reason.
• 5:20
  You didn't even have a backup plan.
• 5:23
  didn't have cash.
• 5:25
  You didn't have tap-to-pay on another debit card.
• 5:28
  You had nothing.
• 5:32
  And as a grown man, you don't even got money in your wallet somewhere, like a crumpled up dollar, so- nothing?
• 5:44
  Vonnie: Bring back shame.
• 5:45
  Bring back shame because why weren't you so embarrassed?
• 5:48
  I would've te- I would've gone to the bathroom, texted a friend, and be like, "Hey, yo, I'm gonna need you to Zelle me $60.
• 5:58
  I gotta pay here," and then I got a little something, and then been like, "Come back.
• 6:03
  I worked it out with my credit card company.
• 6:05
  Go ahead and run it again." Like, something, my guy.
• 6:08
  You don't even have a friend that would even give you $60?
• 6:11
  You have bad personality then.
• 6:15
  keya: couldn't even use phone a friend
• 6:16
  Vonnie: Because you obviously don't get them back.
• 6:19
  Because the only time I wouldn't send somebody money is 'cause I know they ain't good for ever coming back to me.
• 6:25
  But if you called me, even if I knew you were that type of person, if you called me and I was like, "Okay, Keya don't ever pay nobody back," but she's like, "Shavonne, I am stuck.
• 6:34
  I am out here." Did- I would never leave you stranded, period. I'd be like, "You know what?
• 6:39
  I'm not gonna get this back,
• 6:43
  drea: Right?
• 6:44
  Like, he has no lifeline.
• 6:46
  Vonnie: are so many things that that opens
• 6:48
  saying.
• 6:48
  It's not even about the 40… $40 is real low entry
• 6:52
  be this grown, you haven't made any friends, you don't have, like, an emergency card, you don't have anything.
• 7:01
  you just get out of jail?
• 7:02
  keya: she was definitely right for, "Oh, no, never talking to you again, blocked."
• 7:08
  What?
• 7:10
  That… Yeah
• 7:13
  Vonnie: the nerve to have like,
• 7:16
  quiet?"
• 7:19
  drea: Yeah, that's a done deal.
• 7:21
  That's a done deal 'cause, 'cause I've talked to men who just be straight out honest like, "I, I don't got the money right now." Okay, cool.
• 7:28
  Well, what else you wanna do then?
• 7:30
  You know what I'm saying?
• 7:31
  And I don't mind taking a man out.
• 7:32
  I have no problem with that.
• 7:34
  However, if I invite you, then okay.
• 7:39
  Yeah, I probably will pay.
• 7:41
  Even if you invited me and I know I gotta pay my way, I'm okay with that.
• 7:45
  If you're short on money, then just say that, and if I really wanna go, maybe I'll pay for you too.
• 7:51
  You know what I'm saying?
• 7:52
  But like, can we… Right.
• 7:55
  Like, can we conversate about that?
• 7:57
  Because like, Maybe that's why I never dated back in the day.
• 8:00
  Maybe that's exactly why because maybe what if like back then in my 20s and early 30s being a single mom, going to college broke, and barely could afford to feed myself, you know, if I wanted to go out, maybe sometimes that's
• 8:15
  why I didn't wanna go out on a date because what if that shit happened to me and now I I always had to make sure I had enough money in my pocket to pay for my own food at the bare minimal.
• 8:23
  that's just me.
• 8:23
  I don't know about anybody else, but
• 8:25
  I can't, I can't.
• 8:27
  keya: something
• 8:27
  drea: No.
• 8:28
  keya: like that, but
• 8:28
  like she said, because I was me and I had 20-year-old me, the like I'm just starting out and you ain't got the $40, but this my last 40 that I spent on trying to get us out of here so A, they ain't looking at us crazy or B, trying to say we stole a meal 'cause ain't Tocarra.
• 8:53
  You know what I'm
• 8:55
  you
• 8:55
  Vonnie: Right
• 8:57
  keya: you done took money my kids' refrigerator and it… Yeah.
• 9:02
  Hell no.
• 9:03
  Blocked
• 9:06
  Vonnie: Now that's too low.
• 9:08
  $40 is too low.
• 9:09
  For you to not have any other options, I don't care, that's too low.
• 9:12
  That's too- now maybe that whole, you know, she said it was like 200, four- maybe $400 for brunch is not in your price range.
• 9:20
  It ain't in most people's price range.
• 9:21
  Like, that I understand.
• 9:23
  Like, if that whole bill came and he's like, "Look, we're gonna have to Dutch," or whatever, like,
• 9:29
  right.
• 9:29
  Like, no, I would- if she said I couldn't br- I broke up with him for that, I'd be like, "Hey, you know what? You should've never dated somebody like that in the first place then," if you know what I mean?
• 9:39
  But $40, you can have an expectation that regardless of where you're at, grown man should be able to get you for that.
• 9:47
  keya: mama
• 9:48
  Vonnie: know what I'm also thinking?
• 9:50
  Right.
• 9:51
  keya: Shit
• 9:51
  Vonnie: Like, that's what I'm saying.
• 9:52
  There was no…
• 9:54
  Drea's point, you ain't got one lifeline.
• 9:55
  But I always think of, like, you know who you are.
• 10:01
  You sitting at home minding your business this time later, hear this story
• 10:07
  keya: You
• 10:08
  Vonnie: You,
• 10:09
  your friends know who you are, and they knew you went on a date with her.
• 10:12
  And they're like, "Hold on. You said that y'all broke up for this, that, and that third." Like, you aired out, aired out.
• 10:20
  Like, mean, I, uh, I don't wanna date nobody famous.
• 10:24
  Nobody who can get in front of a podcast
• 10:27
  that reaches millions of people.
• 10:29
  keya: about something like he said.
• 10:31
  Your whole, your whole little cover blown.
• 10:36
  Vonnie: Come on, 'cause you know he didn't say that.
• 10:38
  He didn't say that.
• 10:40
  All right.
• 10:41
  We're gonna take the group chat offline for now.
• 10:43
  If you laughed, related, or enjoyed the conversation, make sure you like, subscribe, leave a comment, and share this episode with some of your favorite people.
• 10:52
  Follow us on all socials, and we'll catch you on the next time on What The Group Chat Say.