Latest / Just Us Sisters / Episode 25: The Challenges & Blessings of Being Single (20s & 30s) - Part II
Transcript
- speaker-0: Welcome. speaker-2: Life doesn't matter. speaker-3: So speaker-2: Before we start I wanna introduce my sisters. We've got Susan, Shelly, Stacy, the little baby, and I'm Cheryl. I'm number two. I think that we're all curious and and maybe some of the listeners have, I don't know, a single son. What are your top three characteristics that you it in it of course we know number one, I know all three of you, they need to to be a Christian and love the Lord. speaker-0: Be funny. speaker-2: Okay, so what are your other Yep, go for it. speaker-0: I was just making a joke that it was above Jesus, not tastefully done. speaker-2: Alright, so Cherokee, what are your top three characteristics when you're looking for a guy today? I know you're not looking, but if somebody came up. speaker-0: I was almost like, who told you I wasn't looking? I did. Okay. My top three characteristics. I would say I feel like helpful isn't a like deep enough word, but I think of like my parents and like the way that my mom sacrificed time and her personal space to have my dad's parents live with them and then my dad doing the exact same thing. Of living with my mom's parents of like that's an expectation now. Like if that were to happen, if we needed something to do with our family or we needed a friend, like with praying about it and it being the right decision, I want to be with someone who that's their first suggestion. Opening up our home, our time, our money, and just being helpful, not only just to me, but being helpful to others. I I see that in my friends' husbands as well. Like again, they're They're fixing my car. They're helping their families. And I'm just like, that was that was natural for them. Always helps that you love the Lord. I think that's a natural thing that most people do, but just like that sensitivity and of helpfulness would be one of them. I also feel like I'm gonna probably just need a little quirky man. Cause I'm a little quirky. And maybe I don't need a quirky man and that like balances us out, but I also just need someone that like Even if they don't understand my hobbies, they support me through it. You know, it may not be their cup of tea, but that's okay. We all have that. We have that in our friends too. So someone that's just like supportive in in that and like hypes me up even if it's not something that they maybe fully understand or would do themselves. And then I think the other one would be th the running joke is photogenic. Cause I made that I made that comment like way back in High school or like early college. And so my friends wouldn't, you know, people are like, what are you looking for? They're like photogenic. No, I think just a mm hmm, like a good friend. Like someone that can just be again, I guess that all kind of like rolls it up. But a good a good friend, a good listener, maybe hard for a guy, but I think they have the capacity for it. So that's what I'm looking for. speaker-2: One of you other two jump in there. speaker-5: Okay. Well, following Cherokee is really difficult. For real? I'm like funny, smart. No, but I mean, I would say my first one is a little bit generic, but humor is very important to me. I mean, I feel like I laugh a lot already, but I want to be with somebody who we are just cutting it up, we're clowning. I mean, it's just like it flows naturally to just have that good time together, which I guess is I mean just having a friend that gets each other's humor because I have seen people that our humor just doesn't align and what they think is funny, I don't think it's funny. So I would also say something more me specific is having a knowledge of sports, which isn't like end all be all. But coming from a family that we go to a few baseball games a year, a few football games a year. I want to sit next to somebody that we are talking about the game and I'm not having to teach the game 'cause I don't know everything about sports. But if I know more You know? And that's not again, that's not like a deal breaker, but it is something that I look for 'cause I just love to have sports banter. Now if he's a longhorn might be a deal breaker. Yeah. And then for the third one, I would just say somebody adventurous. I mean, I want to spend a lot of my time in life traveling or just doing new things, even if it's around the same city that we live in. So somebody that is open to just going and trying new things and just down to have fun wherever we're at or whatever we're doing. speaker-3: You can't never can laugh too much. speaker-2: Mm-hmm. speaker-5: Can I say something real quick? You brought up Mamma and when I was a kid, Mamma said, Find somebody tall so that they can reach all the tall places for you. And that was my first criteria I ever put for a man when I was like nine years old. speaker-3: You know what Pep al always told the guys was find you a pretty woman. So no he says no, he says, Don't marry a dumbass. I was not gonna say that. speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-3: Definitely not. I was going to Yeah, that's that was it. I think he told her that too. I speaker-5: Me and my friends always joke that if I'm ever going on a date when he goes to drop me off, be like, actually will you drop me off here and will you actually come in and meet the people that are in this house? And that is gonna be the determinant of if there's a second date. Yeah. I don't think I actually do it, but it's I've it's been thought about. I've done it before. speaker-3: Sh Caitlin was telling me something that our pastor said this past weekend about a first date. Cause, you know, sometimes a lot of people go, you know, it's a it's one and done. You know, first impressions are a big deal. And if they don't pass that first impression, you don't give a second. And I liked what he said. You wanna share that, Caitlin? Well they may be nervous about going out with you. And it affects how they react. speaker-0: Reassuring too, because sometimes I'm like, well, what if I mess up the first date? You know, like I'm like, what if I say things or like I'm nervous? Or, you know, it just like it just whatever the case may be. And I think about that too, of like, man, like I hope the like I want to be like a level set standard of like, if I have these expectations for my future husband, then how it currently measure up to those expectations as well. And how can I like You know, how can I just make sure that I live that out and giving grace in that moment of okay, well oops, maybe this was little little nerves got a a hold of me, but yeah, no, that's a good point too. speaker-3: Don't you hope that your future husband does have those high expectations? speaker-0: absolutely. Yeah. That's why I'm like, okay, reflect on the inside and say, like, I say I say all these things, right? I I was even thinking of more stuff. I'm like, I want them to do this and do that and do that. And I'm like, okay, do I do those things? Yeah. You know, how how well have I mastered that? Or like have I laid that like I think there will be a lot of like laying down like selfishness almost of like my time and like how I spend it and and what I want to do. So like those will be things that I know that I'm gonna have to like face and it's it's like how am I like preparing myself as just a person and a Christ follower that wants to see that in somebody else because I can't just and that's why I try not to think of like I've I try not to be like, okay, don't just get a boyfriend for like a task doer. You know, like that's not how I should see them, not just someone, what can you do for me? But it's like how is this a collaborative like union as opposed to just like hired help? speaker-5: Christmas at our house and Thanksgiving at theirs and then it flips and it works with their family. speaker-0: That should have been number one. speaker-5: I've told my mom once that it's a fear of mine that Christmas are at the families of the same year. speaker-3: The girl gets that. The girl gets it. It's the it's the boys that they get kicked out 'cause the girl gets it with their family. speaker-0: See, and I I also I don't want that. Like I want I hope that I don't put my s husband in a situation where he feels that way. Like there's times where seasons will happen, but I hope and pray that I am not the person. And mom, dad, like you're just gonna have to hop in the car with us. Like if we're going somewhere, right? Like we just gotta make it work. But I really hope that there's like understanding and that's my prayer too, of like in-laws and understanding on both of their ends too. because I've seen some like my friends like their in-laws don't live in the state. And so it's like navigating through that. And do they do they see her parents more? Yes. But she does still make an effort to go and see his family like when they can, even if it's meaning missing Christmas with her family that she's never done before. But no, I I hope that I am not a like speaker-5: That's speaker-3: It's all speaker-5: all speaker-3: about mutual sacrifice, you know, being willing to sacrifice for one another. Right speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-3: now you don't have to. Right. This is your non sacrificial time, season. speaker-0: Mm-hmm. And if it was up to my mom, he'd be an orphan. An only child orphan. She said that with her own mouth. I wouldn't be surprised if she stuck it in a prayer in there every once in a while. speaker-2: That won't happen. speaker-0: Never speaker-3: Mm-hmm. Why not me? first. Okay. Find you a man who can cook. Because then you'll if you have to cook, it's because you want to, not because you have to. You know, that didn't come out right. But you understand what I'm saying. Mm-hmm. speaker-5: No, that makes sense. Yeah. The shared effort. speaker-3: Yes. And and one that can bake, so Yes, yes. speaker-2: Someone fix things around the house. Mm-hmm. If something goes out, they can fix it. That would be so helpful. speaker-0: Build a deck for a pool over and over and over again. speaker-5: Somebody told me recently, just because you can doesn't mean you should. Like you can fix the light and the light bulb. But if a man's around, my light bulb's out. Yeah, but just a woman speaker-3: Just because something so hold on. Just because something needs fixing doesn't mean that they should be the one to fix it. speaker-2: You speaker-0: No, I feel like there's two ends of the spectrum. There's Johnny and then there's Tom. Really? speaker-2: And then there's people that you can call that know how to do that. Yeah. speaker-3: That's Johnny. speaker-5: To answer if my mom offends me when she asks. speaker-2: I'm doing better at that. speaker-5: You are doing better, but there was a time that I threatened to not talk to you for a while because of it. I think I'm not so offended now, but there was a time that it got to the point that I was I think I was threatening to not talk to you for a little bit because of how consistent it was coming up. speaker-2: And I deserved it and I wanna apologize in public. speaker-0: And you're speaker-5: We're good now. We talk about it in through conversation. It it's not so direct question. speaker-2: Well, and I learned we don't want to see any Tom Dick or Harry. speaker-5: Yeah. speaker-3: Hey McKay, she did it to us too when we were single. He tried to set me up with a guy that could sew his own clothes. So I would say I know we said a Christian, and that was the top of the list, but I would say a spiritual leader in the home, not just a Christian, because I see a lot of homes where the wife is the spiritual leader. And I think that throws everything off in the home. And I would say, let the man be the spiritual leader. You shouldn't have to say, Hey, are you going to church today? He should be saying, Let's go, family. So I would say that. speaker-0: Hm. Aw, look, y'all all just described your husbands. speaker-3: Yeah. I was thinking that. So I was like, Casey, that's why I always post on my Facebook post, my angel, because of the I'm he embraces my quirkiness. speaker-0: Ha speaker-3: But all of you have to go through us first. We have to interview the guy. So just FYI. speaker-0: They have a they have a seventy five step interview process. speaker-3: Hey hey, I interview them for y'all all the time. speaker-0: I told them that. Okay, Caitlin, because your mom is your mom is like past that part of your life. Ours is not. speaker-5: My mom's about getting business cards to hand out. speaker-0: Sheryl would hand them out for me and my mom would hand them out for Michaela. speaker-3: Mm. I'll hand out for you, Caitlin. Thank you. speaker-0: I know Stacey's got the corporate in. He's a corporate boy. speaker-3: Then you need a teacher if you need that retirement plan. But the four one K I can probably find you. speaker-2: Okay. Yay, the way we're gonna use this rapid fire, it you don't all say it at one time because we're going to go with Caitlin first, then Cherokee, we're gonna go by H and then Michaela. Okay. And then you might have to explain why on these rapid fires. Okay. speaker-3: Não é preferindo. speaker-2: Mm-mm. Okay. speaker-3: Gotta go back. speaker-2: Okay, Caitlin. Coffee date, dinner date. Which coffee date? Caitlin. Wow, all three coffee dates. speaker-3: That's my girl. speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-3: I can get a free stone out of it. All right. speaker-2: Caitlin, ready? Biggest red flag dating. speaker-0: They say they don't have any friends. If you know, you know. speaker-5: Somebody that doesn't care to go out and do things with your friends. Some like I wanna a guy that won't be one of the girls for the night. speaker-2: Nice. speaker-3: Fire. Okay. speaker-2: Cherokee, biggest green flag. Like go. Like great eyes or nice buttons. speaker-0: Okay. Okay. I would say it like has a stable speaker-3: Yeah. Well that's good. speaker-2: Okay. Hmm. speaker-5: Family. speaker-3: How do you know though? I mean how do you know they're kind and compassionate? Got it. speaker-2: Okay. Michaela, we're gonna start with you on this one. One myth about being single that not true. speaker-3: god. speaker-5: I just don't think that I know any myths about being single. speaker-3: You're not lonely. speaker-5: Yeah, not easy. Senate. I would say speaker-0: the biggest myth is that my standards are too high. speaker-2: No that's speaker-5: Change my answer to that one. speaker-2: Caitlin? What's the best piece of dating advice you've ever received, Caitlin? speaker-0: Yeah. S well w how about somebody give me some dating advice now? speaker-5: somebody tell me that just because they are perfect on paper, I mean they meet your standards, doesn't mean they'll always be the one. I mean I've gone on dates with guys that on paper, I mean, they are what I wanted. They were what it what I was looking for, but the connection just wasn't there. And that's okay. That's speaker-2: Good. Yeah, our closing question. Our closing question is going to be what's some words of advice or encouragement for someone who's tired of waiting. Caitlin. McCayland. speaker-5: She said it, I mean, perfectly. True. speaker-2: Eric, do you have anything to add to that? speaker-0: I do. I would say take this time to also do some like personal reflection and ask yourself maybe some hard questions about like where do you want to be and and spending this time with the Lord and like drilling into and and diving into where he wants you to be. I think when I was in college in the student ministry that I was a part of when it was around Valentine's Day and it was always like, you know Every girl would be so scared if they they were like, what if God is calling me to singleness? And it's like, okay, well, everybody chill out. But it's like, I mean, maybe in this season, like that is where you need to be for one reason or the or the other. So it's like taking that into account and really just being obedient, like be a Christ follower. Be be obedient to what the Lord has asked you to do. 'Cause again, our identity is not in our dating life and it's not in our spouse and it's not in our children. and in the end, it's how we are like women of God. And so the the adventure, the finding the hobbies and being a part, like it's just it's something that you can really take advantage of and then learning who you are too along the way. speaker-3: Yeah. Amen. speaker-2: Well, if you're single and you've been watching this, we know that there's challenges that go with singlehood, but I've been blessed because to me what I've heard is it's more of a blessing to these these girls that we've been talking to today. speaker-3: I wanted to say this one scripture kind of went with everyone up. One one thing that I want to share a scripture that God gave me when I was single. And it really helped me to put my gaze on him and the glance on the personal horizontal relationship. And it was out of Psalm 37. And it says, Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart. And so I think that's something that we can honor God and just take delight in him, gaze upon him, glance at the people that he brings into your life. And he will give you the desires of your heart. speaker-2: Amen. speaker-0: Share. speaker-2: Welcome to Just Us Sisters. We have episode twenty three today and it's the blessings and something else of being single. Susan down below number one is speaker-3: Don't say that. speaker-2: And I'm Cheryl, I'm number two. Not like number two two, but number two. speaker-3: Not like doo doo number two. speaker-2: She forgot, I can guarantee you that. speaker-0: Hold on. You said in your twenties and thirties, are we doing a speaker-3: No and and speaker-0: Okay, okay, okay. speaker-3: By the time this goes, y'all might all be married. speaker-5: We can only hope. Okay. speaker-3: You do like you do like speaker-5: Subscribe. speaker-0: Do we have any subscribers? Yeah. We have fifty seven subs speaker-3: Scriber? speaker-0: on YouTube. How many do we have? Like fifty seven or fifty eight? I don't know. Sarah just subscribed to it because I told her I was on the podcast and she said I'll be listening. So you're gonna get a lot of listeners on this one. Woo! speaker-2: You're definitely gonna need speaker-5: And mysterious. speaker-2: Who did their phone number? speaker-5: I want somebody tall, dark, and mysterious. speaker-3: Mysterious. speaker-2: Not handsome. speaker-3: Then go to Caitlyn. speaker-5: is it handsome? speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-0: Yeah. speaker-3: They'll be dark and they'll be mysterious. Okay. Yeah, like I wanna tell on my top three that I think is important. speaker-2: Yeah. This is in about Yeah. speaker-5: Just us sisters, said speaker-2: You know speaker-0: See ya all this weekend. speaker-3: Don't speaker-0: So much fun. This is their phone number. This is their Instagram handle. This is their everything we just said, we don't actually meet if you're single and you're attractive. speaker-2: Yeah. speaker-5: Can can me and Cherokee and Caitlin do the and until then, like, subscribe and comment or whatever. speaker-2: Yeah.