Latest / Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings / Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – CPR and treehouses

Transcript

Whackhead Prank: Senseless survey – CPR and treehouses · Darren “Whackhead” Simpson’s prank calls on Kfm Mornings

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Shut up and drive. It's Rihanna.
• 0:03
  Speaker 2: How you you saying that to the guy in the
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: robot in front of you?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Shut up and drave there every morning?
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: I know it's what's wrong with you? Go you sleep
• 0:17
  Speaker 2: twenty not twenty k The senseless survey is up next.
• 0:20
  Speaker 2: We got some amazing prizes courtesy of small businesses here
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: in the Western Cape. We've still got ice cream, and
• 0:28
  Speaker 2: I feel like ice cream. It won't be appreciated asking
• 0:32
  Speaker 2: for a year. It won't be appreciated if you give
• 0:34
  Speaker 2: it on a day like today. Okay, maybe an aircorn
• 0:38
  Speaker 2: will be appreciated on a dayluck today. We've got all
• 0:40
  Speaker 2: of these and more. How many questions will I ask
• 0:43
  Speaker 2: in the senseless survey? It's coming up next.
• 0:45
  Speaker 3: O here we go, There we go.
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: Here's another senseless survey from Darren Wackhead Simpson on KFM Mornings.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: KFM Mornings.
• 0:57
  Speaker 2: All right, throw me some numbers here, Sheldon. How many
• 0:59
  Speaker 2: senses serve the questions us this morning?
• 1:02
  Speaker 1: Twelve twelve? Okase? Its no nine?
• 1:06
  Speaker 3: No?
• 1:06
  Speaker 1: Okay?
• 1:07
  Speaker 2: Pessimistic Monday ramis can't seven questions? Seven questions and a
• 1:14
  Speaker 2: producer bread thirty thirteen? And how are you after an
• 1:20
  Speaker 2: incredible set at Carbo on Saturday.
• 1:25
  Speaker 1: Saturday. My legs are so your legs are all okay? Yeah,
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I don't dance.
• 1:30
  Speaker 2: Often, so I followed the event with two micro dolls
• 1:37
  Speaker 2: and bread.
• 1:37
  Speaker 1: What was your pain killer of choice? Gen pain, gen Paine?
• 1:42
  Speaker 2: Adding to the list because we stayed man, Yeah, we
• 1:45
  Speaker 2: did it all.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: Martha there.
• 1:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it was such a jaw absolutely drill not going
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: after the next year. Yeah, so we'll see.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: Many are demanding another one. There was a big demand.
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: Perhaps December. We'll see. All right, we'll see.
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: But okay, so twelve, nine, seven, and thirteen one of
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: you is correct. Might be the pessimist amongst us.
• 2:14
  Speaker 1: I knew it.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: Uh huh okay, no more on our what's up telephone?
• 2:20
  Speaker 2: This is about asking random questions into an unsuspecting person.
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: The questions are all very important and for the sake
• 2:27
  Speaker 2: of the country, here we go. Herees this morning, senseless server.
• 2:32
  Speaker 4: Thank you forgetting for sixty one.
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: God on first thing and answer is too good morning.
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: I'm agent four one six two five. I'm calling you
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: from the Census Bureau. I just need to ask you
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: a couple questions for your country. Yes, sir, okay, when
• 2:45
  Speaker 2: you have your oil changed. Do you need proof because
• 2:48
  Speaker 2: you've been hurt by oils before?
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: Excuse me?
• 2:54
  Speaker 2: Sure? Have you ever tried to take years of your
• 2:57
  Speaker 2: appearance by wearing a bib? Did you know that if
• 3:03
  Speaker 2: you play jazz backwards you get slightly better jazz? Do
• 3:16
  Speaker 2: you think it should be illegal for our surgeons to
• 3:18
  Speaker 2: have a waiting room full of out of focus magazines? Yeah?
• 3:23
  Speaker 1: I think so.
• 3:25
  Speaker 2: Did you ever think that crazy glue is just glue
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: that is going through some stuff right now? No? I don't.
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: Isn't CPR just kissing someone goodbye?
• 3:38
  Speaker 2: Kind? Don't you think treehouses are really insensitive? It's like
• 3:44
  Speaker 2: killing someone and then getting one of his friends to
• 3:47
  Speaker 2: hold him. No, I don't think so.
• 3:52
  Speaker 1: And our toasters like tanning beds for bread.
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: Wow?
• 4:00
  Speaker 2: Have you ever had to explain to a grandparent what
• 4:02
  Speaker 2: a sausage fest means?
• 4:05
  Speaker 1: I've never done that before, but.
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Never on my name, never done that thing. You were right,
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: zips nine think about the treehouse?
• 4:25
  Speaker 1: Eh? Yeah, that's true. I was more just offended by
• 4:29
  Speaker 1: the jazz remark. It's just a joke, Brad, It's just
• 4:33
  Speaker 1: a joke, you know. I thought this was a serious survey.
• 4:37
  Speaker 2: How big the country absolutely kidding me. That was your
• 4:42
  Speaker 2: senseless survey. Wake me up from a vichy on KF Mornings.
• 4:47
  Speaker 2: It's the wheel to join. Congratulations solaih from Athlone. How's it, Slay?
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: Good brother? Is it Solah?
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: Is that I say your name.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: Left?
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: I guess I was no way even in the same region.
• 5:05
  Speaker 1: How do you say? It's silent?
• 5:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, solent, silent Solimans.
• 5:16
  Speaker 2: Give it to me solid. All right, solent, Good morning, brav.
• 5:22
  Speaker 1: How are you well?
• 5:25
  Speaker 2: I'm very well? Thank you for asking. All right, So
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: we've got a whole bunch of prizes. Which one do
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: you fancy? If you remember any.
• 5:33
  Speaker 4: I'm I'm not sure anything it is the first time
• 5:36
  Speaker 4: or meeting a prize or anything.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: Okay, well let's make it a beauty for you then.
• 5:41
  Speaker 2: So look, you can determine two factors, the speed and
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: the direction. Tell me I will go fast and right,
• 5:51
  Speaker 2: fast and right. Let's whip it around.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: Okay. Last week I think it was a holiday. Last
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: week was tickets. What have we got here? What have
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: you got? Oh? Again?
• 6:10
  Speaker 2: This week it's tickets to anything that we do. So
• 6:15
  Speaker 2: there's a whole bunch of things we've got, uh, Peter
• 6:21
  Speaker 2: Pan and Canal Walk. We've got Disney on us. Do
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: you have kids? You don't sound like you have kids?
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: What he sounds young and fresh?
• 6:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah?
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't. Do you sound young? How old are you? Solid?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: Twenty nine? Okay? Not young? A couple of kids twenty
• 6:41
  Speaker 1: that you don't listen to? Don't listen to this? Are you?
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: Are you planning on any kids? I am? I think
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: you do? Okay? So how old is the first two? Okay?
• 6:58
  Speaker 2: So look, we've got Disney As, we've got Mama Mia,
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: we've got Jill Scott, and we've got the band live
• 7:04
  Speaker 2: at Kirsten Bosh. That's the tickets that we've got. You
• 7:06
  Speaker 2: can choose whichever one you want there from that.
• 7:11
  Speaker 4: So I just want to say, is the anything beyond
• 7:13
  Speaker 4: between the eighth of July? Because I'm actually leaving for
• 7:15
  Speaker 4: a month on Wednesday.
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: You're leaving.
• 7:18
  Speaker 4: Where are you going? I'm actually basically a marine biologist
• 7:24
  Speaker 4: and I'm going away for Gallas to do some research
• 7:29
  Speaker 4: on the ocean.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: So you're going to the Antarctic.
• 7:36
  Speaker 4: I haven't been to an Arctic. I've been to Marion, Ireland.
• 7:40
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: Oh So then when we were all like, oh, I
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: want to be a marine biologist when we were kids.
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: You actually did it.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: That's amazing because you know what, everybody that thought that
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: you're going to be a marine biologist, you thought you
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: were going to work with dolphins, and let me tell.
• 8:01
  Speaker 4: You, yeah, and I ended up working with.
• 8:07
  Speaker 1: Fish food. Okay, So have you ever worked with the dolphin? No?
• 8:16
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the dream kids, that's the dream that won't
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: be realized. So it's it's just studying everything in the ocean.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: You know it works.
• 8:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah?
• 8:27
  Speaker 2: Okay, well you sound like you've got a very very
• 8:29
  Speaker 2: exciting job.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: What happens after that date? Uh? Yeah, I don't know.
• 8:38
  Speaker 1: You know what, we'll we'll get all the dates.
• 8:41
  Speaker 2: For you and then you can decide what fits in
• 8:45
  Speaker 2: with the family schedule and also what fits in with
• 8:47
  Speaker 2: the birth impending birth date which is when.
• 8:53
  Speaker 4: So possibly in August.
• 8:56
  Speaker 2: Okay, so it's got it. Yeah, you've got very little
• 8:59
  Speaker 2: wiggle room. Yet you don't go after. You can't go
• 9:02
  Speaker 2: a month before because you want a baby watch with
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: the bag packed at the door, you know, the drill. Okay,
• 9:09
  Speaker 2: we'll work this out off the air. So all right, brother,
• 9:14
  Speaker 2: just man, all the best, very cool job.
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: Man, how many exciting things happening in his life.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: But that caper Gullies, that the ice Breaker, that is
• 9:25
  Speaker 2: one of the greatest ships ever made. I'm told very
• 9:29
  Speaker 2: few countries have the ice breaker. It just smashes through us.
• 9:34
  Speaker 2: Incredible and that's us. And he gets to ride that
• 9:37
  Speaker 2: thing whenever he feels like.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: Very cool. All right, it is time for your news
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: at eight o'clock. After this break, KFM Mornings with Darren Sherlin,
• 9:48
  Speaker 1: Sibs and You