Latest / The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast / Episode 16: Smells Like Victory

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Episode 16: Smells Like Victory · The Tom & Gerry Show Podcast

0:10
Hello everybody, and welcome to the Tom and Jerry Show with myself, Jerry
0:14
McBride and himself Tom Oh many, Tom. How are you doing, buddy?
0:18
Not well. I'm getting attacked by some sort of flying Oh Jesus after
0:23
follow me, Jerry. The midges around here. I'm not gonna lie.
0:26
They're oh colossal. They are. Got to tell you, I gotta tell
0:30
you they might may not be Midge's. Hello everybody, welcome to the podcast
0:34
today. Do you know what today is? What? Today is flying and
0:38
today? What? Now? It's this the Dolly Parton story again where you
0:42
ended up nearly getting attacked by bees? No, no, no, this
0:45
is this is flying ants. Flying ants are ants that fly, Okay,
0:49
you know the wingy dance. I get you, And I don't know where
0:53
they are. They're like in the crust of the earth for three hundred and
0:57
sixty three days of the year and they come out for two days. And
1:00
I honestly thought the first time I saw them, I thought it was a
1:03
plague descended upon the house, Like what have I done? How have I
1:06
wronged? God? Do you want to come out two days? Right?
1:10
Something like that? But like there'll be there'll be a day where they emerge
1:14
from their cocoons like years of war emergency day, they just all come out.
1:19
When I happened to notice on Twitter earlier today someone going like, oh
1:23
my god, there's no a lot of flying ants in town today, And
1:26
I was like, let me just go out and check the wall at the
1:27
front of the house, and lo and behold, rack them all covered.
1:33
Jesus. So I have a funny feeling what your battle in there, Tom,
1:36
is not a midgy, it's a it's a it's a flying ant.
1:38
I do know. We don't like. I don't know them crawling on me,
1:42
Tom, I don't know what the ants even get to looking around here
1:45
with the wildlife that's here, Like I got seen off my own property this
1:49
evening. I'm calming down there and I'm looking at your happy face. I
1:52
needed to look at I needed to look at some I needed to look at
1:55
your face rather than my own two bloodshot eyes in the rear view mirror of
1:59
my car as one boiled over with temper another site related scenario. But you
2:04
look, we won't get into it. These are the things that in building
2:07
your own house, as we said, will vex you. You can't humanity
2:12
is the only thing that will let you down. Typically you can work around
2:14
the weather materials, it's just humans. But anyway, my temper was getting
2:20
a better and I got seen off my own property for sure by a hawk.
2:23
There's a pair of hawks that live. And this thing didn't fly away.
2:27
It kind of flew in the direction I was driving. Would pull up
2:29
every so often on a branch and go, you're moving on lock. And
2:34
by the way he was looking at me, he was like, listen,
2:36
I have a rake hunting to do, and you balakan and kicking stones around
2:38
the place and making racket is going to ruin my bulls, Like, and
2:42
I have dinner to be getting, So where's the rabbits there? Used to
2:44
be rabbits here and then you stuck a house there. And this fella he
2:47
four or five times he stopped on the way kind of going, man,
2:51
lad Jesus put it into thward like put it into like, don't be frightened.
2:54
He just had a look of an animal that had enough of me,
2:59
and I appreciated it, be honest with you. His ignorance kind of took
3:01
my level of ignorance down a bit. I was like, okay, yeah,
3:06
okay, I get I get it. Also, finger update on the
3:08
busted finger. You want to see it? I do, please, actually,
3:12
just because I clocked this already, yeah earlier, I was going to
3:16
ask you about it. Wanted to double check. But Tom is Thomas bandaged
3:20
his finger for once. Okay, normally this is just like spit and Salders
3:23
will keep it closed. Yeah, but he's bandaged his finger with a paw
3:27
patrol band aid. There's Marshall. Marshall, we Chase is on the case.
3:32
I tell you one second, I tell you, and you'll see why
3:35
I have to bandage it, because this is great audio stuff now altogether.
3:39
So it's all after lifting on that side there, the lower side, as
3:43
you're looking at And to say that there are more straight edges and corners in
3:49
my life and tread and bits of everything else. I didn't realize I was
3:53
surrounded by so many catchy bits of stuff. Until you have until you have
3:59
a nail loose or something, you never know what they'll catch on. I
4:01
mean, I can't, I can't put my hand in my pocket, I
4:04
can't pick my nose. I haven't picked my nose in two weeks. And
4:10
I have a favorite I have a favorite can, I says, do you
4:15
know what I'm going to tell you Tom about after seeing the flying ankle by?
4:17
And I don't know if he's on your side of the screen or after
4:19
flying past my I swear to God, I'm cliguing by them. Is just
4:23
all you got to he'p there, he's you might be right, you might
4:26
be right. It could be a flying and you just say to yourself,
4:29
two days, two days, and then they tend to dispairse out into the
4:31
wilderness. Is that what wonderful is about? Two days? Is gonna be?
4:42
Sorry? Tom? I interrupted your finger story. The jokes get better
4:44
than that, folks. They do know it's it's all. But she's ready
4:47
for cast off now, I would imagine fairly. So you see the lower
4:50
bit that's growing in, it's pushing it out. Well, it got caught
4:55
in a sock the other day, and all the west side, the yeah,
4:59
all the west of it just all went, we're out here. But
5:01
the east was like or they were like colonial masters. They're just hanging on
5:06
to that side. I wish the whole lot would just shag back and let
5:11
the new one in the new wave. There's almost a political movement going on
5:15
it's the right versus the left, and there's a new wave of something coming,
5:19
and neither one of them seemed happy. On the left seemed they've already
5:24
given up the ghost, but the right seems to be still hanging in there.
5:27
Whether it knows what's coming next is good or bad, I don't know.
5:30
But I think that's as political as we're going to get the update.
5:34
And I'm also on the tropical blessed zero sugar, and I tell you things
5:39
are going all right now? Well, do you know what? The things
5:42
are going? All right? Left and sand, the ladies and gentlemen.
5:44
We got flying ants, we got fingers hanging off ourselves, low calorie drinks,
5:48
we got the whole lot. But that wasn't the big news this week.
5:51
The big news this week is the big news that was last week and
5:55
indeed next week. It's it's strange we're right in the middle of it.
5:57
We're in the middle of the news, Tom, and we're going to bring
6:00
the people through it in the segment that we call the weekly what have You.
6:04
This is a very complicated case, mod you know, a lot of
6:08
a lot of outs, a lot of what have you, and uh,
6:10
a lot of strands to keep in my head. Man, this one what
6:15
we've been trying to get at this one for. But it's just the never
6:17
ending. Do you remember lamb Chop Remember that kids show years ago? This?
6:24
Yeah, the cycle race that never ends. Well, actually we're technically
6:31
at the end of it, but you know next, that's next. Come,
6:35
that's next, buddy. I got so excited to talk about that.
6:41
That's the It's the other thing, Tom, It's the other thing with the
6:46
weekly way. Yeah, the the other thing. I caught me by surprise.
6:49
I thought the old pair were kind of losing it small, but they
6:51
were like, we're gonna watching the Other Island on BBC this year. There
6:55
you go. I went, what there is? No? I think fine.
7:00
Sky Sports tried their hand out it, but when they couldn't make it
7:03
exclusive and you get people to pay for it, then they kind of went
7:06
your grant. But they made it a bit sexy as well. Both they
7:12
did. They watched the BBC coverage of the All Arnold Final and we talked.
7:16
We covered them. Was Anthony Horgan that's licked his face licked the week
7:21
before that. I got his face licked there, and and and and all
7:25
for Tom, all for it. Would appears. I hate to do it.
7:30
Yes, well to get a shout out to Anthony Hockey Horgan who went
7:33
on he beat. I think it was Eddie Brennan. I could be wrong.
7:36
Eddie Brennan. He went on to become his sixteen years playing senior inter
7:42
county hurling for Cork, nineteen years since Cork won in All Ireland. He
7:46
had probably had hopes and dreams he got to the All Ireland but he did
7:49
beat even though they didn't win clear one in the end and when they played
7:54
extra time he did beat and become the highest score of all time. So
7:59
there you, you know, so shout out to that. Maybe there's something
8:01
to be said for I mean, it's the spit look. But com here
8:05
to me, Tom, I said, like we were banging in the middle
8:07
of this week's weekly what have you? Because we had the All Ireland Hurland
8:11
Final yesterday as we record this, pulling back the corner of the show.
8:16
We record on Mondays. But we've got the All Ireland Football Final next week.
8:20
So anybody that listens to this on Thursday, you've already had one All
8:22
Ireland and you got another one coming up. So we figured this is the
8:26
first time we've ever been like a Tom and Jerry filling to an All Ireland
8:31
sandwich. Gee, and as you said yourself, this is one of the
8:35
first years that it's ever been on the BBC. Are you hammer and my
8:39
cheese or my cheese? You ham? Because we're having a ham and cheese
8:43
sandwich. If that's what's going on, ga wise, you can't have any
8:46
fancy chiabetas or some days your ham, some days your cheese. This is
8:52
a very philosophical episode. I have to say between fingernails and sandwich. Just
8:56
this is unbelievable stuff. But you're right, And I think to me you
9:00
you did you watch the BBC coverage or did I just watched it? No?
9:03
I watched it for the crack. I had to do it for the
9:05
novelty, wouldn't you. I missed what I was up on site and I
9:09
the time Lithuanians pack up, we'll stay with under one hundred and ten percent,
9:13
no stop, no stop for and a half time. I tested them
9:18
the first day I went, you stopped for lunch, You stop for lunch?
9:22
I went, I don't, but you can if you want that.
9:24
No stay working. And now that's more my styles. Big feet at eight
9:26
cut his size bread and mugga tee and after you drive till five o'clock with
9:31
the bibes and back in. I pop down the road to watch it with
9:33
the parents place, and they had the BBC on and I was like,
9:37
I'm not sure how comfortable I am with this. I should be listening to
9:41
Martin Morrissey and you know Diaging and Michael Diagnan, you know, going on
9:48
but trying to do their best behall Herting well, I mean, you know
9:52
more not in a second, you know, trying to do their best on
9:54
him. But and I've never I've never cared too much ideality. Listen day
9:58
I'm like, okay. But then I they had the BBC on for Novelty,
10:01
which I was amazed, and I have to say they did a very
10:07
very good job of covering. They did a very good job of covering the
10:11
guy to Moss who was he was Northern Chap but the sounds and things and
10:15
he was there with oh God clear Hurdler. I'm literally only talking about it
10:20
about two hours ago with a chap and I can't remember his name has jumped
10:24
out of my head. He was co Co Combs and they were brilliant.
10:28
I mean there was a Kelly Gold from Cork that was possibly one of the
10:31
best goals in a long time in other island. I didn't see that pumped.
10:35
He was like, you were pumped watching it. You're like, oh,
10:37
this is good. This is commentary, you know what this is.
10:39
This is such good commentary that it's a bit in houses. Sometimes when you
10:45
listen to commentary, you're like, oh, you'd need to know. I'll
10:48
be watching this every week. This guy was just banging it out like it
10:50
was the UFC. I'm like, yeah, I was leaping up and down,
10:54
pumped for it. I'll tell you who else was lepping up and down.
10:56
Tom was our friends across the water and England, who, for many
11:01
of them this was their first time ever seeing a game of hurling and they
11:05
lit up Twitter with scribe of what the hell is this am I watching?
11:11
Why is this UFC on a on a ga pitch? What one had described
11:18
it as, it's a mixture of UFC hockey lacrosse. I think he said
11:24
football and egg and spoon race, which is when I saw that. I
11:30
went, are you taking a bit? Oh wait, no, yeah,
11:31
he's nailed it there. But like he was going. How can an entire
11:35
game be played at full sprint? Full sprint? And it was a valid
11:39
point of mind. Oh yeah, there is almost no bar, the goalkeepers
11:45
pucking it back out again, there's almost no bit of hurling that's done at
11:48
half speed. It's all just sort of yeah, yeah, yeah, and
11:52
back. And those men went ninety minutes, Yes, ninety minutes. I'll
11:56
tell you what it was, Tom, I'll tell you what It was spectacular
11:58
to me as well. And if we've any listeners from England, the feud
12:03
is over. But for the rest of this Now, there's a couple of
12:05
tweets I've seen where it was like, I can't figure out the scoring of
12:09
this. Yeah, it's like, lads, can you do basic arithmetic?
12:13
Okay? The goal is worth three points over the bar, that's a point
12:18
in the goal. That's three Add it up. Even team has three points
12:22
and one team has the gold or level. And what is it difficult about
12:24
this? They make it quite easy. They give you a tally at the
12:28
end. I either score like, they give you a tally underneath to show
12:31
you. Oh yeah, if you know what I mean? What three points
12:35
and twenty one goals or three goals and twenty one points means in full point,
12:39
it's not. It's like and as a sport it's traveling like in basketball
12:45
no more than five steps or you've got to bounce it, whether it's on
12:48
your hurly or off the ground or and you can only hand pat like there's
12:52
on the on the scoring of a tom on the score, and I want
12:54
to say one thing like these are the lads that can't add three points to
12:58
a goal and one point for a pint. But the same ladd sit and
13:01
watch cricket. I was like, oh, here's the score, seventy five
13:05
runs and six over for three wickets on a on a rainy day. What
13:09
the hell is that? What? I maybe I don't know. There's times
13:15
when I was reading some of those ones, go it's a great sport,
13:16
but I have no idea what's going on? How are they scoring this?
13:20
I'm like, is that why soccer has so few goals? It's in fact,
13:24
some soccer matches can end with nobody scoring anything. Yeah, as and
13:28
as Spike Milligan one said, he went on when that happened, I went
13:31
down and looked my money at the gate. Nobody scored anything like it was,
13:33
but it was it was the flabber guests, the Salvat and I mean
13:37
some of them are put up and you're gonna go, yeah, that's cute.
13:41
But will you ever watch it again? I mean yes, I'm not
13:43
saying we're all out there and to watch Division B hurling. You gotta you
13:46
know you're watching Junior B hurling matches on Tuesday night, pissing the rain.
13:50
You know down your local you're not. But great, it was nice to
13:56
see. But the great thing about the BBC ads popping up in the middle
14:01
for either So what they would do is they cut to the audience. They
14:05
cut to people who were in the crowd and they were interviewing. So they
14:07
interviewed Darryl bri and Jimmy Nez. But Cork Girl from British is a British
14:16
or Derry Urns one of the blonde Yeah, Nicola Cocklan, Nicola Cochland,
14:20
that's it. And they interviewed her and she was fit to collapse. She's
14:26
clear goalway I think whichever one of them either way. Yeah, one of
14:31
the miss Bland, one of from I was wearing a Cork jersey and she
14:33
was fit to pass out. It's very cork anyway, either way it made
14:39
for They could have made a right hockey. Sky Sports went over the top,
14:43
tried to put in you know, three D analysis and the camera and
14:48
all this kind of craw finkly brown and just try to you know, you
14:50
know, polish its nails and stuff. It was like regulars. There seemed
14:54
to be a very well taught out procedure. And how BBC went about this,
15:01
it's like, oh, we did this very tastefully. You're not trying
15:05
to be artie and you know you can never be artie in this environment.
15:09
This is not But at the same time didn't go all right, petty,
15:13
let's show you how you sport. They didn't do that either. They got
15:18
a hyper enthusiastic nor ready. Let I'll tell you, I wouldn't get it,
15:22
get get it over this that he couldn't get enough words out in a
15:26
sentence. He was thattic. James O'Connor also was the clear former horder.
15:31
I was with him on the commentary Tom I said it cycled back to it.
15:35
It's just it's neither here nor there but Milmore Harty. They led me
15:39
Holam Haarty that we said you said that A lot of the lot of the
15:43
Irish commentators kind of sound like him. I have an interesting theory on that.
15:46
Would you like to hear it? Yes? Do you know why airline
15:50
pilots all sound the same? You know when you're sitting down listening to the
15:52
takeoff ladies and gentlemen, we're no. Why do you know where that all
15:58
it came from? Right? No? Come on? The earliest commercial pilots
16:02
in commercial planes were all ex military lads that were flying planes. No,
16:08
no, not English, okay, And they would all be military pilots coming
16:15
out of World War Two who then went and and and became commercial airliners.
16:19
As commercial flight grew and grew and grew and became like a more popular way
16:25
I traveled, they needed pilots and most of the pilots came from the military.
16:26
No war on, you gotta fly something here you go boom, boom,
16:30
You follow me so far? And each one of those military pilots would
16:34
have seen training videos during the war and after it of a pilot called Chuck
16:41
Yeger, the fastest man alive, you know, the guy that gay broke
16:45
Mark One? Was that Chuck Yeger? Chuck Jeger? What what a cool
16:49
name? And guess what Chuck Yeager sounded like uh, name like Chuck Yeager,
16:59
that's slaying approaching Mark one Brown speed is uh. And that just bled
17:04
into every airline, every every fighter pilot that had to study tapes of Chuck
17:11
yegor just grew that sort of affectation in the voice. And then they went
17:15
on to be commercial pilots. And then one hand washed the other. And
17:18
here we are sixty years later, learning stuff, learning stuff. But that's
17:22
the date, Like Cavin crew are moving through the cabin now selling scratch cards
17:27
at the moment. Well, the thing about me, Holmer Heart is he
17:32
had his own style and you were never going to copy it, you know,
17:33
but no. But I feel like he was like so of iconic at
17:37
it to every kid him since I can't help but have a bit of that
17:42
to coin the kids today. He was the goat. I mean, you
17:48
know, he didn't need your washing, you know, or shipping your own,
17:51
but he was. He was a goat. He's one of the few
17:53
I've met a lot of famous people at my time there, and he's possibly
17:57
one of the only people that I was a stroke by just whatever presence the
18:02
man gave. I was like, yes, maybe it was from my childhood
18:03
list, but again what they see. Some of them tried to do,
18:07
especially during All Ireland days, They tried to give little little pop up like
18:12
vox pop style anecdotes that he would do like he's anybody wants to go google
18:17
me hollomer hurting, typing in as it sounds, and it'll find Google will
18:21
find it very well. And his best sayings. And during matches he would
18:25
just pop up with this stuff like to be a player down and to be
18:27
a break and play, and he would just come out with this amazing stuff.
18:30
Like I was walking along Fifth Avenue the other day and I stopped at
18:33
the newspaper sten. I said to the man, have you buy any chance?
18:37
Got the carry man Pepper? He says, do you want this out
18:38
on the north carry anyway? Back to the game and he just have these
18:42
just drop them in, yeah, and drop them in, like Teddy McCarthy,
18:45
a famous cock players lining up a free one time or sixty five and
18:48
he says, Teddy looks at the ball, and the ball looks back at
18:52
Teddy and it was just and Teddy and it's over the bear. You know.
18:56
He had and people, I think every so often that tried to creep
19:00
in these little bit titbits like exactly exactly, but that must be it,
19:04
so they like it's just whoever the most famous all Formula one commentators kind of
19:11
sound like more you walk around that nasally thing. Yeah yeah, yeah,
19:17
listen, that was it, Tom. That was the All Ireland Harland Final,
19:19
and we still have the All Ireland Football Final to come this weekend.
19:22
If you find folks listening across the pond with whom the feud is over,
19:27
would like to chime into that work away, just like, don't come with
19:30
this nonsense of how do you score same as Harland? Dad's the only three
19:34
points. If you watch the Hurland yah, know, you can relax a
19:40
bit for the football. It's not going. It's not going to say so
19:42
fast. It's not so fast. There'd be guys smashing into each other.
19:47
But then maybe a bit of as they say around here where I'm from,
19:49
Jerry, and by the way, I had the dog in the fight as
19:52
the Tipperary man, but I did enjoy it because you know, tip hurling
19:56
is quite quite religious here. But as they say to hurling is only played
20:00
for leads, okay, or football is only played by leads who can't play
20:03
hurling's and it's it's actually honestly believed. It's believed like you're why why did
20:08
you play that? Oh you're not good at hurling. That's fine, fair
20:11
play to you. That's literally the way it's looked on. I found myself
20:18
having a puck around with three hurling all stars Tom several years ago. Was
20:25
this the plaster board area? Yeah, yeah, no, let me sure
20:27
you no, uh, what's his name. I'm not going to insult any
20:33
of them. It's not that I don't remember them, lady Brennan from No
20:37
let me let I'll look it up on the road in the socials. But
20:40
these are all all stars and they're just like sitting around and standing around in
20:42
a triangle, just sort of batting the ball over and back to each other,
20:47
just having the chat or whatever. And I went over and was chatting
20:48
away, and the said I should pick up a hurle lre and we we
20:51
make a diamond out of this and we battle around the four and ladies and
20:53
gentlemen. It went. But as well as you think as Jerry Hill did
21:00
hurley in his mouth, not knowing which end of it the hy so no,
21:03
no, no, the you know the first ball that came over my
21:07
way, I was just like, yo, there's a thing up broken.
21:08
Yeah, there's a there's a giant out of place. Yeah yeah, more
21:12
on that at a later date. We want to see that on the socials.
21:15
We want to see that on the socials. But that was those lads.
21:18
I'm going to look up those lads names, Tom. It's not that
21:21
I h it's not that I disrespectfully don't remember them. I wasn't a bit.
21:25
I'm not a big Hurland man. I'm from one and what do you
21:26
want from me? Right? And this was easily got Christ was ten years
21:30
ago, so they don't just leap out in my mind right this very second.
21:34
I'm still not I'm still not back on the caffeine. So I do
21:37
apologize for that. Here's the thing, Tom Toe. That was those lads.
21:42
But every week now, you know, eighty yard runs and scoring goals
21:48
in Hurland all Ireland finals, as we've seen last Sunday, are one thing
21:53
that'll get you that lad. Right. This week we've got this lad who's
22:00
might be a little bit better known in the world, even if I don't
22:03
necessarily know him. But even at that, we had to give him the
22:07
crown this lady. Yeah, I jumped the gun on this lad earlier.
22:15
We've been trying. That'll tell you, We will tell you how long.
22:17
Yeah, we've been trying to get at this particular lad for three weeks.
22:22
Four We just didn't We just didn't know who he was. Three four one.
22:23
I got so excited that at the top of the show I thought we
22:26
were going to be doing this led even we're going to the subject, Yes,
22:30
this subject up the front. The subject in question is I'm look at
22:33
the rain out there, Tom, Jesus, Mother Mary. That's not this
22:37
last I have an end now flying around trying to take bites out of me.
22:41
So do you know wils are rapidly coming off the Tom and Jerry Show.
22:45
But speaking of wheels, the sporting question for this lad is the Tour
22:48
de France, which finally wrapped up there on Sunday gone by after us trying
22:52
to get it in. It just didn't bounce for us. Tom, we
22:55
tried to get the Tour of the France into the show for the past four
22:56
weeks because that's as long as it's been on, but was finally won by
23:00
a gentleman called todaya and Today pigatcha you are this week, this lad by
23:06
virtue of winning the Tour de France. Some goddamn how Tom, because someone's
23:10
gonna have to show me how that's a race that a man can win.
23:12
Well, please, I Initially when you text me today, I knew it
23:17
was coming to a close this week. I didn't know it was done and
23:18
dusted. But when you just text me because Jerry, well, I don't
23:22
know what phone you're writing off of. I'm guessing it's an iPhone or something,
23:26
but my friends that have a particular phone, I don't know what it
23:30
is. Every new sentence is a new message, Like my phone will write
23:34
up for three minutes solid when Jerry's just writing one message because it's just I
23:38
got that's Jerry. It's either Jerry. It's either Jerry or Colin get us
23:42
whatever your two phones are. And every time I pick it up, it's
23:47
like Jerry is writing. I'm like, okay, okay, right chld,
23:49
I just put it down, just look at it, and yeah, I'll
23:52
come back to him in ten minutes. I don't want to. I don't
23:53
want to nearly as a surprise to myself, I don't want to see it.
23:56
But today Pekatca came up and went, oh, jesus, he's on
24:00
one. No, I just was full short because we'd send each other like
24:03
tool branding and stuff like we're really are exactly as you imagine, like we're
24:07
that we don't put this odd people, we're exactly. We send each other
24:12
stuff about new tools that are out on the on the market and stuff like
24:17
it's yeah, it's where it is, and more extreme things like if we've
24:19
had a beer over the weekend, extreme people that have found ways of setting
24:25
fire to stone and stop, you've got jesus, yeah, well that's sports
24:27
sending to each other. And when you send me today Biketca was I was
24:32
in came in as a message by itself and went, oh new chops on
24:36
guessing literally be new Microsoft Jerry's after hearing about but name notwithstanding Tom Okay,
24:41
here's the thing with the Tour de France and I want I want to I
24:45
want to thrash this out you congratulations, mister Paca on. The Tour de
24:51
France is a cycling race that takes place in France. It's one of the
24:55
most famous, I dare say the most famous. It's the Wimbledon of cycling
24:59
and it is yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, you're only breaking around
25:02
to the rest of them until you get to the Tour of France. It's
25:03
the big dance. Watching it live or watching it in any capacity. I
25:10
it. It's not a race. It's not ready gets a go and whoever
25:14
gets to the finish first is the winner. No, but it's staged.
25:18
You see, there's stages. You couldn't sure. I mean, you're not
25:21
going to cycle straight for four to four weeks, but it's staged like rallying.
25:25
Okay, so you don't have to win every single day. You just
25:30
need to stay up in the points. So there'll be points given all the
25:32
way back. I'm assuming like it. Let's say it's like F one where
25:34
there's points given all the way back to is it sixth place? I think?
25:38
Or maybe? So you're it's like a it's like a league. It's
25:41
like exactly, yeah, exactly, you are your ten points for whoever gets
25:45
forced. Yeah, you could potentially, I don't know, could have fellow
25:51
Potentially I would say, potentially win it if you just came third every day,
25:55
assuming that other fellas haven't come second every day and forced every day.
25:59
Maybe you've had a bad day. I've got an altar on your foot and
26:02
you've you mean, you know, nearly last and you get no points.
26:04
So I think that's how you I could be fair wrong on this, but
26:07
I know that's so. I think that's how the stages work for the TI
26:11
or the friends. Okay. So and over the course of three weeks or
26:15
four weeks over that, because you know, if you want, if you
26:17
want, if you want like a tournament, tom, if you want to
26:18
raise, that's what you want. You wanted to take four goddamn weeks,
26:22
right oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, all right, I had
26:26
two haircuts in the time, right yeah, out of shape at least once.
26:32
Okay, So walk me through this. Why is it anytime I see
26:36
footage of the lad's cycling, right yeah, And it's my man here today,
26:40
pagatcha cycling and there's some fella from some other team who has another name.
26:44
I'm sure I wasn't gonna look up to these lads' names today, right,
26:47
sure? So a cycle away like having the crack like leisurely, you
26:52
know, granted up like a ninety degree slope of a mountain. But they're
26:56
just like that. Yeah, No, rush appears to be honest, we're
26:59
just kind of cycling along here good oh, yeah, just having the crack.
27:00
I suppose athletically, if you look at it your you can that this
27:06
fems are probably, let's bar the crack. I have no idea, but
27:11
let's say they're doing five hundred kilometers a day a day, right, which
27:15
you could potentially be doing. I don't know. It might be people might
27:18
be kicking their phone up against the wall here now Gaelic football style going it's
27:22
one hundred and ninety seven. I don't I don't know. Yeah, wait,
27:26
yeah, no, this is never, never a learning podcast like Francis.
27:30
But you come burst. It's like the young bull looking at the field
27:34
of cows in the owl bowl telling them to show now, slow down you
27:38
did you know if I'm raising your time, but if I'm racing again you
27:42
right. Yeah. We're on opposing teams and you're cycling away they're good.
27:47
Oh, and I'm cycling away good oh, And I come to chat to
27:52
you, Like, at what point do I go, all right, commarre
27:55
To'm nice catching up with you, but I have a race to run.
27:57
So look, I'll be talking to you here now and they'll put the boot
27:59
down I think also there's a bit of game like it's a sport like that.
28:03
I'd love to I know, the charesst thing was supposed to tell us
28:07
was supposed to watch the Tour de France and see was there what the inside
28:11
story is almost like pumping iron for you know, so you could see the
28:15
inside track with her all the time. There's there's you know, you have
28:18
you put a ship talk as well and ship house? Are you going on
28:19
going Jesus Christ, I expect your calves to look so small? What I
28:25
think there's a there's going to be a bit of that. Also, you
28:27
know what cycle of roids have you been on? Is probably you know because
28:32
I'm on you know do you know? And Jeremy Bride Alone and or whatever
28:37
whatever. We'll not even get into the the steroids of it, because we
28:41
will that's a that's a whole nother crack. We'll just assume that most sports
28:44
people and gailic games are on steroids. I'm guessing that's what the chat is.
28:48
And also like Jesus Christ, hey, did you did you see the
28:52
last hey who stole all the tires? Because I went for tires this morning
28:56
there was no tires. Yeah, I know, listen, I I can't
28:59
even my sandwiches. Well there you go, like it's it's just a lowly
29:03
too out there by yourself chair. God love them, come here to me.
29:07
That's what it is. Tom. It doesn't strike me as a race.
29:08
It's like when I'm watching golf live on the TV, and it's like,
29:11
and now we go over to this screen and here's a lad butting the
29:14
ball, and then we go over to this lad and here's a lad,
29:17
uh you know, driving down the fairway. And then let's go over to
29:19
another lad. He's in the woods, and now he's not, and then
29:22
let's go over to this lad. I'm like, I don't know if I'm
29:25
watching a live sport. I don't know if this is taped. I don't
29:26
know if this is the greatest hits. I don't know if it's a round
29:29
about. What happened today is all is taking place to go. And when
29:32
I'm there at the Tour de France, it's like, oh, yeah,
29:34
here's We're just gonna stay on this lad here for five minutes. Yeah,
29:37
he's cycling away, good, all right, and then we're gonna cut over
29:40
to this other lad here and he's not for nothing. He's cycling too.
29:44
Yeah, let's see how this buy over here is doing. He's cycling away
29:47
there too. That's a hard watch. Now, it is a hard It's
29:49
it's for the purists. That's the amazing thing too. I think the only
29:53
thing that makes it so popular is the fact that it's such a horror of
29:57
a thing to do, and it's worth watching in nearly a spectacle of going.
30:02
Jesus Christ, I'd never did that. I'd never now in saying that
30:04
the influx of oul lads had every petro station and every cafe shop on a
30:11
cafe on a Saturday or Sunday morning that are pulled in, pull like it
30:15
up to the neck. I mean, somebody's liking it somewhere, you know
30:18
what I mean, belly hanging out everywhere, you know, our streets,
30:22
you know, and you're trying to get yourselves at rolls like and these lads
30:25
are clip clopping around with their clippy shoes on. You know what, I'm
30:27
going to tell you, Tom, You're fooling nobody lead both. I'm going
30:30
to tell you. I'm going to tell you a thing to look out for
30:33
in the next six to eight months. I'd imagine right, there was a
30:36
lad in the Tour de Front this year, and it was noted upon what
30:41
he was wearing. Oh, he was wearing a helmet, right, But
30:45
do you remember in the Simpsons when Flanders went skiing, it was like stupid
30:51
sexy Flanders. Yes, yeah, and he had a big He had a
30:55
big, like dark helmet from space balls, you know, like a big
31:00
that's what this that was wearing. And I was like, oh, aerodynamically,
31:03
it's peerless, Like this is the most aerodynamic a human can be.
31:07
And I'm like, yeah, but look that has to be like heavy on
31:10
his head. He looks like a funko pop. What's going on here?
31:12
But I know, and I remember listening to outlets and you know what I
31:15
mean there these legs should be only poking the ball around the golf course.
31:18
But you know the bellies out everywhere wearing all the gear. They got their
31:22
little pouches, you know, for their money or whatever and their ass and
31:26
stuff, and they're one fullest talk about it. You know how many times
31:30
a week he shaves his legs And the other guy's going, yeah, I'm
31:32
like, let's leg hair is the least of your hoarries? BOI? The
31:37
belly is hitting the Crossbarrew, what are you talking about? Like, I'm
31:41
gonna shave no time off now when all these are doing is going up to
31:42
bypass, up the big road, up the big road to get a flat
31:45
white and a big chocolate. He clear up the top. Well, watch
31:48
them, watch them come with this, with this. Oh, I can't
31:51
wait because there will be there for sure, there are going to be a
31:53
couple of right helmets going round. Right. I cycled once competitively as part
31:57
of an iron Man thing. It's the medal that is somewhere there. Hold
32:02
on, is the medal there. It's a big, chunky medal. I
32:06
want to show it to you if it's there. Tom's just rifling through all
32:08
the medals here trying to find the right one. No, I don't have
32:13
that particular medal, but my school's medal takes over all. But anyway,
32:16
the it was the Quest Challenge, and they had kayaking, cycling and running.
32:22
The running side of things, which you seem to be okay with,
32:24
was up the side of a mountain, which turns out suits my goat stature.
32:28
Brilliantly running on roads not at all but up the side of a mountain.
32:30
Love it kayaking bit okay, happy enough for that, you get it
32:36
done. The cycling that Dodger, it was only like fifteen or twenty k
32:40
or something like that. Oh my god, I don't know what are the
32:45
cauliflower taints those men have and women have that do that these competitive cycles.
32:51
But I remember having to drive, got a showered, drove back to Dublin,
32:54
did a gig that night, and I'm not going I talked about it
32:58
on stage and I can't. Actually it stands straight. I just sit on
33:00
one arch cheek the whole drive from Kerry, from outside outside ken Mayor all
33:06
the way to Dublin on one arm cheek. Because of what that twenty k
33:08
did to my my pipe, I mean absolutely ruined me. Jarseupa cream for
33:14
a week. I had to get the wife, had the two legs up
33:16
on the changing table. The wife had to go at me with the powder.
33:20
It was ridiculous. Clearly, I'm not built for wrong saddle and all
33:24
the rest of it. So a tip of the yellow jersey slash cap to
33:28
those lads and whatever they do. Have taints of iron. That's all I've
33:31
got, and that's what the race should be called. I'll watch it taints
33:37
of iron. That's what I call you know what, I tell you that
33:39
they're not affected by the cycle five hundred kilometers and walk away with an arch
33:44
looking like a KP skip, not a bother on them, smelling like prom
33:53
cocktail too. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. Here's the thing, right,
33:57
Yeah, here's the thing. If you're listening to this and say,
34:00
oh, Jesus Nat mc bride doesn't like cycling, not the case. Oh
34:02
he doesn't like cycling races. Not the case. Do you know what I
34:05
actually very much like And it's coming up in the Olympics now very shortly,
34:08
you know, the cycling races to do on I think they call it the
34:13
Belodrome. I love that stuff. I don't know what's going on, but
34:16
it looks like to me, it looks like roperly juiced up looking or stuff.
34:22
Yeah yeah, yeah, I'd imagine like I'd imagine that's a race.
34:27
There's a bit of a fight goes on there, you know what I mean?
34:29
I see a scrap like like you can see him nudging each other and
34:31
swinging over and back, and I'm like, oh Jesus Christ, you come
34:35
off here and you hit the wall. It's you know what it is.
34:37
It's Days of Thunder for cycling, right, cold trick, it's the Indy
34:40
five hundred Yeah yeah, yeah yeah for cycling. Right here eating some ass
34:44
cream, call just having some ass cream. But here's the thing like that,
34:49
Like it's so combatitive that the two cyclists they can't start side by side,
34:52
you know, they have to start one either side of the of the
34:55
villadrome. Yeah yeah, yeah yeah, because they murder each other. I
34:59
love that, like that you can't leave into the same same yard, right,
35:04
And it's the because that's a race. That's to me, that's like
35:07
two people competing to be the fastest person on two wheels and you can see
35:13
it directly in front of you and you don't need a degree to work it
35:15
out. Yeah right, because it's not like it's not like you're watching.
35:20
It's like, oh and here's here's today Pagaca here making his way up the
35:25
the the Alps. And now we cut to Tom o' mantony on a on
35:30
a on a peloton in Nice yesterday. Yeah, why are you showing me
35:35
this little one goal? Yeah yeah, two lads one vlodrome. Whoever's heart
35:40
explodes out or chess forced loses simple My favorite bit of any Tour de Frenzi
35:45
style road race is the last two hundred five hundred yards and they're just going
35:52
and I'm like, now we're raising and we're raising, and now that's a
35:55
race. That's what I hang off each other there giving it Holly, you
35:59
know that's going to be pile up somewhere. It's yeah, this looks like
36:01
raising. Well, if I could, if I could, if I could
36:05
offer a suggestion to make the Tour de France better. Okay, Number one,
36:09
you don't need the half of them lads, all right, the five
36:12
hundred lad cycling, get them out of there. You need forty of the
36:15
best men going. That's it. Yeah, And indeed, ladies, I
36:17
don't Is there a ladies toward France, I should say in the comments from
36:22
Yeah, yeah, okay, they probably all the handbag shops and forty of
36:31
the of the world's best competitors in a race. You don't need more than
36:35
forty, because I gotta tell you, for every race that goes by,
36:37
there's five hundred raising, all that is four hundred and forty goddamn losers,
36:40
right, absolutely, sixty maybe runs okay, and you see this cracket doing
36:46
it over five hundred miles not no need ten mile? No, sure,
36:52
one mile. Let's and they can. They can bring whatever weapons they want
36:55
on the bike. Three tier done, go and then under them. Yeah,
37:00
and get a cross line copper bike. Sprints like we're doing racing.
37:04
Sure, there's a load of walk racing and marisons and all the rest of
37:07
it. But they're sprinting. Why don't straight line? That's it? Bang
37:12
it out, boys and girls. Just go as hard as you can and
37:14
you get people with the biggest tie. Can you imagine if your ties don't
37:17
have to last more than four seconds? Can you imagine how mostly their bodies
37:22
would be? I mean, it'd be just the best thing ever, the
37:24
best thing ever. And if you still want to do it one a day
37:28
for thirty days and do a league and all that, Yeah, fine,
37:30
you want to do one where it's like ten miles up a hill, go
37:34
nuts, But lads, this cracky doing it over the course of a day
37:37
and it's five on the miles. Now, you'll be all right, give
37:39
us our sprint, like we want to just give us, give us a
37:42
sprint. And if you don't give us our sprint, tom gonna be a
37:46
row. Oh Jesus. Oh, we're not going to row. We're not
37:51
gonna row about cycling this evening. We're gonna rowe about something else. Tom,
37:53
what do you think? Do you think it's time to start to rive?
37:55
The tropical blast says, so don't stop now. If I know,
38:04
if I know what this this is speaking to me, it's time for a
38:07
ruck because it smells great. Well, listen, Tom, here's the crack.
38:09
Okay, we're moving on in the summer. July is over. It
38:14
would seem the summer's over there, but any summer's over. The flying answer
38:16
out can only mean one thing, can only mean one thing. Silent season
38:22
first, hay season, first, wheat season first. But something needs to
38:24
go on the ground immediately after that, to far to lass to bring it
38:29
on for all you find folks to want to eat stuff i e. Beef,
38:32
sheeps or wheat for your bread, whatever they're growing barely for your for
38:38
your cereal. You need to gotta put something immediately on the ground after that
38:44
to get it, just revitalize it, getting grown up. And it's the
38:46
tail as old as talors, old time tail is all the time. Sure,
38:52
there's all sorts of insecticides and pesticides and all sorts of fertilizers you can
38:55
put down on grass like ten, ten twenty and these other ones. But
38:59
there's one trial, true one. They never known to fail, never known
39:04
to fail, never known to fail. And that is straight up shit.
39:07
That is up shite, all day shite slurry season. Tom, we're moving
39:13
into it. I was up home there at the weekend and it wasn't thick
39:17
in the air, but it was very like, yeah, someone's spreading already.
39:21
Someone was spread out. Do you know why? Do you know why?
39:24
It wasn't ticking the air like it was turn your childhood? What drible
39:29
bars, drible bars. Oh so it's not just the one big fantail splurged.
39:34
No, not allowed doing that anymore. A handful of reasons. It
39:38
fucking left everywhere and well, which I was never like. I mean,
39:43
if you're right close to our brand new raw field, just prayed it can
39:47
it can alarm the census, It can definitely wake you up. But also
39:52
you know when it's happening. Also, there was a there was there was
39:55
a danger I think with it too. There was cables have high enough voltage
40:00
passing through them, it can actually it can jump and transfer down through the
40:06
liquid mostly made up of water. It is mostly slurry, is mostly made
40:09
up of water, i e. Brow he is and rain water whatever else
40:14
in the tank that was sucked out that day. It can actually jump and
40:16
shoot down and cause me like, I mean, it's going to hit a
40:21
giant tank of metal and which will run up along a giant monster truck of
40:25
a tractor made of metal now riding on Robert tires. Hey, look,
40:32
we're not sure you have discuss the physics of it, Tom, It's ship.
40:36
It smells like shit. And for the longest time, Colchies, not
40:39
just me and you, all of us we do this. When we get
40:43
someone from the town up with us all over the country and they hit the
40:45
smell of story for the first time, I'm like, what the hell is
40:49
that? It's nothing better? And all of us, what do we do?
40:52
Tom? We turn around and go hit the country. That's the country.
40:58
That's a good country air for Yeah, and you're just loving them,
41:00
reveling in horror. They're like, Jesus Christ, why is it attacking my
41:06
childhood memories? What is going on with me? For the love of Christ
41:09
is how would you ever give over? That's a good smell. That's good
41:14
thought you cultures were absolute savages that lived in shite, but you really do
41:19
live in shite. Look at this. This is disgusting. Here's the thing
41:23
right, here's my hair after being out in this. This is disgusting.
41:30
Tom. I'm gonna I'm gonna maybe expose some culture secrets. This is like
41:35
behind the magic from the eighties, the mass medition, giving away the secrets.
41:39
Ah, I don't think that we cultures actually like the smell of slorry
41:45
should be known, none of us going by after shape that smells like it
41:51
at Christmas. But at the same time, right exactly, but the same
41:52
time, you wouldn't buy an after shape that smells like your own fart.
41:57
This is true. But yes, okay, I see said with it.
42:00
You know what I mean. It's a very weird paradox that can only develop
42:05
be developed in the brain of people that are better than most i e.
42:07
Country people. We are simple as that. And while you're at you're at
42:14
peace with it. You're at peace with the fact, and there's a comfort
42:17
in it, like you cracked off your own fart. You And it's only
42:22
great when other people are horrified by it. Well, I mean yes,
42:27
like we won't pass if you and me are walking down the road chewing some
42:30
bits of grass and our you know, and trousers tied up with baling whine.
42:35
We really are selling selling a story, you know, talking about quotas
42:38
of milk and whatnot and all those other country things that people country people talk
42:44
about. And maybe we go to the denster and we might find wives for
42:47
ourselves, and we'd smell slurry in the air, and would either one of
42:54
us past judgment. Not really you'd pay it. No, you paid no
43:00
credence, you know what I mean, other than wondering who was doing the
43:04
spreading and whose field was on just out of nosiness, that's really it.
43:07
You just accepted that it was just part of the countryside. But nothing,
43:12
nothing was more fun than having somebody who just wasn't ready for that experience being
43:15
in your presence, Like you put the window down driving through the countryside with
43:20
a vertable towny slash city person and they Jesus Christ, pors need to come
43:27
with a special filter for this absolute assault on my senses. This is just
43:34
just to be criminal. We need to out all this immediately. In fact,
43:37
just just put a dame over the whole countryside that isn't Dublin and that's
43:43
it, and there's nothing, I mean, the howling that you would have
43:45
done. It's like catching the American, the American cousin or the you know,
43:49
to grab a nettle, like yeah, grabbing an electric fence, Yeah,
43:52
yeah, grabbing electric fence exactly. Yeah, I'm gonna, I'm just
43:55
gonna. I'm just going to say, like I used to. I used
44:00
to go to college and the dog and I have a friday of thereabout the
44:05
Hart Brewery would let out an awful smell of it whatever they were brewing up.
44:07
The same when I lived in Cork, right, Murphy's Brewery. Oh
44:13
my god. Now what I will say is this, it's thank to High
44:15
Heaven. But through time you got used to it and you didn't mind it.
44:22
And it was in prison, and then when you smelled it was like,
44:24
yeah, that's okay. But like it wasn't like it wasn't a nice
44:29
smell, you know, the petric coorse smell of like the ground after it's
44:31
been raining, you know what. It wasn't like like that's an earthy,
44:34
good smell that I think most people like. Shit shite, tom Oh,
44:39
there's no two ways about it. Chair right, absolutely rank. But and
44:44
here if anybody's wondering, what shite, where did you get the shot?
44:47
I mean, how is there so much shot? Does somebody have a job
44:51
to go around scooping up shot? It's gotten quick, very quick education.
44:55
Here it's gotten. We talked about dangerous last week, I talked about working
44:59
on big firm. That's exactly where it comes from. It comes from the
45:02
little piggies pooh down through little slots that are in the ground, because there's
45:07
actually a basement underneath that, and they all flow into a big tank,
45:09
and that basement continues beyond the length of the building. The footprint of the
45:15
basement is bigger than the footprint of the building, leaving an open tank with
45:19
there to be covered these days, because they are extremely dangerous. If you'd
45:22
fall in, it would get near to one and tractors will back in with
45:24
anything these days. Like I remember seeing tanks with like eight and nine and
45:29
a thousand liter tanks. Oh my god, those things would fit in your
45:31
pocket in comparison to the absolute super tanker straight out of gunzoline and yeah,
45:39
yeah, yeah, mad Max, Like these things are four and five thousand
45:44
liter tanks. They've got their own breaking system, they've got their own post
45:47
code these things, and they just suck it up. But no reason why
45:51
it doesn't stink so much now Jar and I alluded to it earlier was able
45:54
bear, and I like just what i'd like saying that extremely strong temperary acts
46:00
dribble bear, that lesure might clip that just driple bear. There's something,
46:07
there's something naughty about it. And it's exactly as it sounds, much like
46:10
you'd see you know, you'd see the sprayers on the back of on the
46:15
sprayers for its exercise and stuff. It's the same thing bar running across the
46:19
back and each little droppy hole driplet thing out of that bar actually now has
46:27
its own little flappy piece of pipe, so you know, like the roll
46:30
flat pipe that it's yeah, yeah, yeah, hose pipe, roll flat
46:34
maybe two, and so is it wrapped around that so it actually lets it
46:37
run down along that and it drags it along the ground. So if you
46:38
walk through a freshly slurried field right now, you'd see loads of little lines,
46:44
like hundreds and thousands of little lines, and that's what it is,
46:46
and it's getting it right to the soil without shooting it up into the air
46:50
anymore. I don't think you're allowed to shoot it up into the air.
46:52
This long time I want to shot up in the air, I'll shoot it
46:54
up in the air. There are certain counties in Ireland I think where it's
46:58
did they look they look over the other day, if you know what I
47:00
mean, as far as I know, they look over the other ditch.
47:02
Now I will say it's nine times out of ten and better stuff nitrogen wise,
47:07
apparently to have piggy poo. Some fellas will have a heavily full cow
47:15
tank as well when cows wintering, they'll stand in a similar scenario over the
47:20
winter, so they're not out, you know, getting cold and whatnot,
47:22
and chickens as well. Tommon Turkey's maybe no, I guess so maybe it
47:27
probably wouldn't. You wouldn't get the volume. I'd imagine you'd probably blest through
47:30
a lot of you know, the fair common You're not gonna like, look
47:34
at what a cow's dropping. But the cow shite I have noticed is absolutely
47:40
another level of rankness and that will last four and five days in the air.
47:45
Whatever's in cowshite, it's violent in comparison to peak shite. This is
47:50
an unbelievably education podcast. I need to add that, by the way,
47:52
you won't get this sort of stuff. And I need to tell you also,
47:54
Jerr, do you remember we did if anybody ever wants to go back
47:59
through the archives, did a very long breakdown deep dive of the song hit
48:02
the diff and says, many is a gap you won't get at without six
48:07
thousand foot And I don't know if you remember me explaining that what that was
48:12
to you. Yes, yes, yes, it's the umbilical cord system or
48:15
one tractor can actually stay at said tank beside beside the slurry pit, beside
48:22
the piggy house. And he has a very very long reel much like your
48:27
hose lock reel that will be on your your garden, and that runs all
48:31
the way to the back of another tractor that's at least six thousand foot away
48:37
from him, dragging it around the field. So there's no more tank actually
48:39
on the back of a tractor. He's just pumping his big lung straw all
48:45
the way over to the back of the other tractor who's dribbling it around the
48:46
field, and it just drags on behind him. So that's the other way
48:50
of doing it. And I'm still to this stage there, I'll revert and
48:52
come back to what you were saying. I reckon the Tour de France will
48:55
be right interesting if they cycled. Let's see how many fellows stay going when
49:02
they're going up a hill in one in our cabin or West Cork, and
49:08
there's some bastard beside him spreading shit, maybe a thousand acre field beside him,
49:15
and they have to cycle for miles around that field. Even actually that's
49:19
a race. Get them to cycle around the field that's continuously been had,
49:22
cowshit been spread on it, our pig shit been spread on it, and
49:25
see how long they last. I don't know if you can hear it right
49:29
now, but I'm just gonna interrupted by the dog. She's absolutely losing her
49:30
bananas outside. Most likely I wanted the wood pigeons. But anyway, well
49:35
listen, we're gonna let you get to her there and anybody yet there that
49:37
has any strong feelings about the smell of shite. Maybe you love it,
49:39
who knows, let us know in the comments. And we don't just say
49:43
these things will in any town, because we do read them. We did
49:45
bringing them background to the show. We put it out in the comments after
49:49
last week myself and Tom out laid the near misses that we had, the
49:53
bullets that we dodged, and the pigs that we vaulted. We put into
49:58
the community. You wonderful Tom and Jerry listeners as to what you guys,
50:02
you're near missus and whatnot? Would you like to hear a couple of time
50:05
and then we would I absolutely, you got it? Okay. So friend
50:09
of the show, mister rich Craven came at us on Twitter there and he
50:13
said that he was in I want to say, Edinburgh, let me just
50:17
grab it up here. Yes, indeed Edinburgh for the festival, and he
50:21
was walking past some street performers. Tom, We're gonna save our opinions on
50:23
those gentlemen. Five years I did the Edinburgh I still have PTSD from street
50:30
performers and arts people. Go on. Richie says that one of these dudes
50:34
had leaned one of their unicycles, you know, the super tall units.
50:37
Jesus Christ. The story was terrifying, Oh my god. Go on,
50:42
and he left it up and left the lining in the wall. And not
50:45
Richie, he wasn't on the un cycle. He was very nearly under it,
50:49
because the thing came down like a cartoon hammer. It really sounds like
50:52
the most wacky races catched a page and ship I've ever heard of in my
50:55
life. That the saddle of the unicycle just came straight past him and hit
51:00
the ground so hard to crack the flagstone. So he would have had his
51:04
head split open by a fallen unicycle. That's near mixed, Richie, But
51:07
that is them that would Oh my god, uh, never have I heard
51:14
of a more dreadful way, with so many layers to how you might have
51:17
died? God, rich It brings another man, Steve Galas here comes in.
51:22
We're all against the performers. Here. Steve says that he nearly got
51:27
into a fight with a min understandable completely and only Steve himself got more clear
51:35
headed about it and back down from the fight with the mime because he felt,
51:38
what if the mime gets lucky, gets one of these one punch kills
51:44
kind of crack, she would have stopped short. He would have stopped short
51:46
of his face anyway, just pretended so it's all the matter, would have
51:51
Richie, No, it's not rich what's this chap's name? This is Steve?
51:55
Yeah, and he basically says that he he calmed down and walked away
52:00
from the fight because he did not want to be known as the man that
52:01
was killed by a mime. That's pretty sensible. Yeah, I know,
52:05
I get that. I get that. That's There's that's right up there with
52:07
the only cycle Christ above Joe, how are you doing, Joe? There
52:13
she was boiling a big pot of water off. I'm told here. I
52:17
don't know whether this is for ham spuds, who knows, not important,
52:22
but the gas went off and she didn't realize on until Blue Lips started to
52:28
enter the house and was wondering, like, you know, why is there?
52:30
Why is the Blue Lips? Okay, the pilot? Oh Jesus Christ.
52:36
So the actual this could have been an Emberdale Farm end of season kind
52:38
of this could have been yeah, yeah, this could have been like the
52:42
roof is gonna end up in the other county? Oh my, yeah,
52:45
that's all. Yeah. Man, we got a brick came out of a
52:47
wall here. Madeline was coming down Grafton Street and a brick came out of
52:52
a second story height. Oh Jesus, like like a truck knocked down a
52:57
decoration or some such, and the brick, just like one straight past her
53:00
as she was walking down the street and she says, it up here,
53:04
one step faster, it would have been her head. Or you know,
53:08
you never have to work again for the rest of your life because of massive
53:12
compensation rafted straight of course, to help God. I mean death for compensation
53:15
one or the other. You know what I mean? Yeah, oh yeah,
53:17
one hundred percent. I mean if it came out of Brown Thomas.
53:22
You know you're driving a Bentley, albeit one armed, you know fast.
53:24
You know I'm going to give you one more here. Sorry, we could
53:28
do these all days. But Chris Over on Instagram was lighting a biomass boiler
53:32
Oh by Jesus and one of his friends, who is he describes as the
53:42
gunk I was with throwing petrol to help things get going. Oh Jesus friends
53:46
that way, yeah, and air man. Chris loaded up lugs and whatnot,
53:51
lit the fire lighter and cab boom, blinded by hot air that flew
53:54
in his face and obliterated his facial hair. The it on his harsh six
54:00
feet back. The only thing is he watched his friend do that and still
54:04
proceed it. So there was two minutes it was still unbeknownst to me,
54:07
the lad threw a healthy doll patrol in and to get it. There's no
54:12
there's no oh that that it must be that odorless petrel, you know.
54:17
Or he just threw keep a hip flasky petrel in his sleeve like it just
54:22
throws it in at random times. Go on, I'm gonna give you another
54:25
one here, sorry when you have to see this here now, and it's
54:28
another Chris Chriss But see h Chris, you know my man, I keep
54:30
him there. Uh. He was working in a hardware shop. This is
54:36
why this one is particular interesting. Okay, he got a load of rock
54:39
wall delivered. I've been there. Yeah, And as he said, we
54:45
would stack it down the back of the shop. But before we would stack
54:49
it, we would play with it. Of course, is understandable, right,
54:52
And I do remember when rock wall came in. Rockwall is non h
54:54
fiberglass was an absolute god send. You wouldn't be doing this on regular fiberglass
54:58
all and it's fireproof as well. Yes, indeed, this week's sponsor.
55:04
Well, so what Chris says, what they would do is they would do
55:07
WWF moves onto us. Yeah, and even he says the throw was quiet,
55:13
we were sucking around, and he attempted the swanton bomb off the top
55:17
of a ten foot racking good Man down onto the rock wall. No notes,
55:24
Absolutely what I would have done myself. He did the somersault at the
55:30
top, but he clipped the fluorescent lights with his toes, so that means
55:35
he didn't rotate enough to land on his back on it, so he dove
55:38
headfirst down into ground. Really yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm reading it
55:45
here. He didn't overrate, he didn't overet too, but it's spun him
55:49
side, just missing the top of a breeze block wall, sending him straight
55:53
through the gap between some of the stacked installation and stopping two foot short on
55:58
the top of a random fence post. I mean, yeah, that's a
56:01
near miss. I yeah, that's one hundred percent near miss, only because
56:06
it's so relatable. Yeah, I mean, you know, you know,
56:09
I'm gonna do like one from The Naked Gun. I'm gonna be like,
56:13
that's how my grandfather died. But Camira, that is the crack that we
56:21
have with the Tom and Jerry Show. You're all very well listening and indeed
56:27
contributing. Look at that. That's what we do here in the Tom and
56:29
Jerry Show, we have cracked with the listeners. If you want to be
56:30
part of that crack, then you're going to need to follow us on the
56:34
social media at Tom and Jerry Show, Jerry with a gee that will get
56:37
us on pretty much everything. Or if you want you to get him at
56:42
Tom Underscore, O my honey, me at Jerry McBride. What else would
56:45
we like this? Fine, folks, do Tom, We'll go ahead and
56:47
hit subscribe. But before we do that, I do you know what we
56:51
we don't have a full time sponsor yet. We're going to get it.
56:52
We will eventually get a sponsor. We will have mugs in the life.
56:55
But I think just for because everybody we've been talking about competitively about races and
57:00
hurdling, do you have a favorite of those that you read out as a
57:04
near miss for one reason or another. I'm gonna have to give it to
57:07
the w w F Swanton, but I'm biased. What can I say?
57:08
I'm gonna go. I'm gonna go with the unicycle because for me, a
57:14
man could actually die, you know, with the try color on his you
57:17
know, on his coffin, if he you know, died during the swan
57:22
tome bomb. Everybody would go, I get it, I get but my
57:25
god, to die what Jesus with a unicycle hit me on the head at
57:30
the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. That's that's right up there on No, there's no
57:36
your family member and everything. It's a close call, like that's odd for
57:40
me. That's that's what I'm picking as as the most chilling near death experience.
57:45
So those guys are those guys that I guess victors. That's got the
57:51
stupidest way you could die. Maybe you have in stages of over the next
57:54
four weeks, but just hit subscribe and whatever plan let's and if you can
58:00
give us the highest rating, that'll be great. But it's five stars or
58:02
five tons up, but whatever the hell it is, if you want to
58:05
leave a comment. It all makes more people, make the more visible to
58:07
more people. Maybe a screen grab taggers on the platforms that Jerry was talking
58:12
about, and let us know where you're listening all the things we talked about
58:15
today from watching crazy sports like hurling. If there's a crazy sport that you
58:17
watching and went, what WDF is this? Let us know. Also the
58:22
Tour de France. Maybe we can jazz it up a bit better like myself
58:25
and Jerry talked about maybe a couple of weapons, give us a sprint,
58:30
or if you have another way, flame throwers on it. Do it all
58:32
on unicycles at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival heading down the Royal Mile. Do you
58:37
know what I think? That's a race we'd all want to see, only
58:40
to have artists and minds to cycle them. Other than that. Sure,
58:45
Now I go see what this dog has absolutely torn to bits outside the door
58:49
of this office. Excellent stuff, Tom Good, look, good luck. I ve